Things your car says during a drive.

>"cars don't talk, dummy"

>Quit trying to pull off skids with me anon, i'm an old toyota. Not some fucking age boyracer machine.

mine says "BEWARE COWARD" and "I hunger "

BRRAAAAPPPP

>DAS CEL NIEMALS LOL

>sqeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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>"ojiisan is still pretty quick, desu"

>>17452090
>on hot weather
"Stop mashing the gas I dont feel like going fast, fuck you its too hot for that, stop, IM GONNA DRINK ALL THE GAS AGAIN FUCK YOU"

>On cold weather
"did you though about mashing the gas pedal? I can go any time, come on press that fucking pedal fuck face, lets race every stop light, come on DO IT, YEAAAAAAHYOUAREFLOORINGLEEEEETSGOOOOOOOOOOOOO" folowed by "Oh by the way, I drank all the gas again"

He used to say to me "stop hitting the redline", I never listened

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"I'm too fat to do this."

>Are you EVER gonna get that screeching noise checked out.

Next paycheck, I swear.

Mostly just "CHECK ENGINE" and "AT OIL TEMP".

>>17452090
>Dis nigga got a baby dick

Basically has osteoporosis, all the balljoints and bushes are fucked

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"stop missing gears you jackass"

>>17452170
>"RUN, RUN"

>>17452090
"come on, there's never any cops around here"

>nice shift
>I really like it when you drop the clutch really fast without enough throttle and lug the shit out of me
>nice shift
>I bet you bought me so you can look at these 4000 RPM you're not using, fuckface
>another 5 MPH won't hurt
>that other WRX didn't wave back, bet he actually knows what his tune is
>nice shift
>you won't race that bimmer, it's definitely faster
>you won't race that 350z
>you won't race that foxbody
>nice shift
>you're never going to do that STI swap, you know

If it talked at least I'd have an excuse for being a shitty driver. The car turns me into a douchebag on the road anyway

>>17452090
"i'm not your car, i'm just your mind. you should probably get help dude."

>I know I'm just an automatic senpai but if you move the gas the right way I'll do whatever you want... Below 85
>P-please don't go over 85mph again it hurts desu
>can we go off road again?
>I'll carry whatever you want in the bed
>This gun rack makes me feel stronk
*Dumps 1qt of ATF on the highway*
>Nobody will ever believe you, not even the mechanics

>Sideways cunt, we wanna be sideways
>You dont want traction right?
>Drive me in the rain, it'll be fun
>That last 70L of fuel was good. Its a reaaaaal shame it didnt last long.