Why do birds go out of their way to target cars? is it a conspiracy?

File: IMG_20170331_124638.jpg (166KB, 1299x974px) Image search: [Google]

166KB, 1299x974px

yes.

>>17407885
Find their nest and go take a big shit in it (assuming their's eggs or chicks in it).

That'll show em.

>>17407894
what car is this???

File: 1246610973115.jpg (83KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 640x480px

>>17407900
>their's
Jesus christ

They shit everywhere

Its just much more noticeable on cars

File: 4620249304_46bb171422_b.jpg (251KB, 1024x657px) Image search: [Google]

251KB, 1024x657px

obligitory crow posting

>>17407910
I didn't say "Their's" i said "Their".

That image for you?

File: 1246760864621.jpg (100KB, 246x374px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 246x374px

>>17408187
>He hasn't noticed

File: screenshot-www.google.com 2017-06-21 01-55-08.png (12KB, 583x140px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 583x140px

>>17408195
ok so i give up. where and how did i fuck up?

File: 1490503471807.png (378KB, 640x352px) Image search: [Google]

378KB, 640x352px

>>17408251

>>17407885
Pigeons a cute

>>17408085
>>17408090
>>17408098
Black birds fuck off

>>17408251
>where and how did i fuck up?
>>17407900
>(assuming their's eggs or chicks in it).

>>17407885
>Why do birds go out of their way to target cars?
They target your car because I throw birdseed on it. The birds appear to peck up the food. Their beaks hit your paint making small scratches. Then they poop and are gone.

>>17407885
>Why do birds go out of their way to target cars?
Crows often land near or on freshly parked cars. They got used to people dropping trash on the ground as they got out of cars. So the birds are looking for things to eat.

Birds don't have bladders and their number 1's and 2's are always mixed together so they can't really control it. Dont park under trees

>>17408696
you made that up retard

>>17407900
>Find their nest and go take a big shit in it
If you can find it easily, the crows have already pecked the eggs or killed the chicks. That's what they do around here. Crows breed those huge flocks. And they migrate outwards into the mountains where I am due to overpopulation in the lowlands. The crows already pecked up the robin nest across the street some time ago. There was even a piece of faint pastel blue egg shell on the grass beneath the tree.

I'd use a BB gun except the city has laws against firing of BB guns against living creatures. Can't do anything anymore. The parasites and varmints just overrun everything because it's illegal to discriminate between a crow and a robin. Robins don't peck my garden crops. But crows do.

File: tumblr_inline_oodovbs8z21up8iv3_500.gif (271KB, 300x169px) Image search: [Google]

271KB, 300x169px

>>17407885
>processed water causes autism
>birds drink water when it comes out of the discharge pipe into the lake
>bird shit now causes autism
>we get our shitwagon we don't really want, but need for A-B
>bird shits on it
>we wash our cars
>wash and slightly come in contact with bird shit
>bird shit autism causes special interests™ in cars
>contract it
>we go full autist for cars all of a sudden
>buy luxury, racing, and sports cars
>we now pay a fortune to get said neat cars
>taxes
>taxes go to the jews
>the jews are the gov't
>the gov't are the ones that process water for drinking, etc
>gov't is using autism water and bird shit for capitalist warfare
Why do you think commie cars are the way they are now?

File: IMG_1897.png (79KB, 457x472px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 457x472px

>>17411030

>>17407906
looks like a turky

>>17407900
>Find their nest
I've never seen a crow's nest. I see ones for other birds, but never a crow. They must be damn sneaky.

>>17407906
CVT WRX

>>17407885
I was driving my shitbox and I swear this bird flew in front of me and turned sideways and shat in my direction.

I swerved to hit a crow who was just kinda dazed wandering in the street

The best part is this person on the sidewalk who had this disturbed face when he saw me burst out laughing

>>17413583
I would swerve to hit the crow. They are an opportunistic vandalistic and violent pestilence to other bird life.

>>17407885
Mods are comin for you OP

>>17407885
Pigeons make tiny poops compared to crows that make the giant splashy big poops. And pigeons rarely land on cars compared to crows that often do.

>>17407900
If there are lots of crows, take french fries and break into smaller pieces about half an inch in length. Use tweezers to put little shards of glass into each. That should help the crows out.

It's too bad the active ingredient in the "Snap and Pop" noisemakers is so unstable. It'd be great if it could be put inside a french fry. Then when the gizzard ground it up, it would explode inside the crow.

It's too bad those sequential Burma Shave roadway signs are long gone. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burma-Shave#Special_promotional_messages


When driving by


Feed crows your fries


Filled with nitrogen tri-iodide (snap n pop)


No more crows in the friendly skies


Burma Shave

>>17410922
Came here to say this.