Shitboxes are loved by /o/. We like to say they have character.

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Shitboxes are loved by /o/. We like to say they have character. We beat them to hell, and they somehow still go another 50k miles. When brand new with 4 miles on the odometer, we smugly donned these vehicles "econoboxes". But they matured, such as a fine wine does. They surived to 300k miles with minimal repairs. Just like a soldier earns the Purple Heart, our "econoboxes" earned their reputation as the "shitbox". There are a few cars that will always be known as great little shitboxes: the Toyota Corolla, our beloved Twingo, and America's frontrunner, The Geo Metro.

The Geo Metro was conceived much the same way I was: during a 4am cocaine fueled grope session in the back seat of an AMC Gremlin.

The year was 1987. A few Detroit executives who were down on their luck decided that we need a car designed for real human beans. A car that would love its 8th owner more than its original buyer. A car that had seen 3 oil changes its first 100k miles, but now is pampered by synthetic blend every 2,999 miles. Sunroof? Fuck that! 4 cylinders? Nope! We want 4 wheels, 3 cylinders, 2 doors, and one goddamn good car.

Thus the 1989 Geo Metro was born. It reigned supreme for decades, much like a dictator in Asia. Jay Leno owns 7 Geo Metros in case you forgot. The Geo Metro is the only car to win at Monza, Laguna Seca, Silverstone, and Talladega. Ford and Chrysler appealed to the US government in 1990, saying that production of the Geo Metro created an unfair advantage for GM. Unfortunately for Ford and Chrysler, 98% of the members of Congress drove Geo Metros and loved them to death. The Geo Metro placed 4th in the 1992 Presidential election behind Ross Perot.

Some say the Chevrolet Aveo was the successor to the Geo Metro, but I refuse to believe. Nothing can ever succed over the Geo Metro when it comes to its main purpose: being a spectacular shitbox.