ITT:

I don't have one of those but I can turn off my passenger airbag when they get unruly

>That mysterious Photoshop job that makes the letters leave the buttons

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my car doesn't have any pointless buttons thanks to the idrive knob

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>>17168548
That's definitely not funny at ALL

>>17168548
>tfw no airbags to turn off when passengers get uppity

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>>17168538
>tfw bright red SOS button next to cabin light button

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My car has this stick thing on the steering wheel i don't know what it does.

>>17169013
That's for gay people to fondle while driving

>>17169013
don't worry anon you aren't alone many people don't know what that does, scientists are leading the charge to find out what it is exactly

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>>17168538
No fucking idea what this is or what it does. Had it when I bought it and haven't touched it since.

>>17169034
Looks custom.

Mines not mysterious since I put it in, but I've never had to use it, it's the "Emergency E&E button that launches flares, deploys smoke, drops caltrops and delivers a wet shot of nitrous

>>17169034
maybe a toggle for disabling abs or traction control shit

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>tfw no button

>>17169077
sick shop job

>>17169077
your car can cancel the Illuminati?

>>17169077
Change illumi cancel to illumi notty

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>>17168538
I have pressed all the buttons, but have yet to throw the switches under the hood. one is a hardware switch for ABS, the other traction control. Traction control has a button in the cabin and I haven't tracked it yet so I don't need ABS off.

>>17169077

suzuki swift?

>>17168538
That's a neat feature. It lets you know when Batman is about to drag your ass out of your car for a beatdown you criminal scum.

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I'm scared to press it I might start a fixation for trench coats and have visions of shooting up my school.

>>17169152
For metal biased cassettes

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tape_bias

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I don't know if I need manual farting or not

>>17168617
Tfw no rear seatbelts to switch off for uppity passengers

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>>17168538
>implying you never go to bat country

>>17169112
Why exactly would you turn off ABS on the track? Do you seriously think you can cadence brake better than a computer thinking at a million changes per second on dry pavement?

>>17169180
No one who turns off ABS on the track thinks that. It's just to feel more agency as a driver. Same reason people prefer manual over dual clutch automatic with flappy paddles despite the latter being objectively faster.

>>17169180
Benchrace pls go

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>>17169174
Tfw no passengers

>>17169034
self destruct

>>17169034
I think my father's E21 had something like this. I'm pretty sure it was an aftermarket alarm.

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>>17168538

I have a "c.diff" dial, no idea what it does. it changes the colors of this thing in my dashboard

>>17169013
>not a BMW

One job

My 91 miata has a switch toggle under the ignition portion of the dash. No clue what it does . No owners manual either

>>17169152
MR2?

>>17168538
It's a new-ish car, so I read the owner's manual to find out what all the buttons do.

I don't use the phone controls, because the last thing I tried to connect to the car's bluetooth bricked until I could plug it into the computer at home.
There's also the 'TA' button which interrupts your music to scream traffic broadcasts at you at random intervals. I don't use that either, because any time it'd be of any use, I'm usually stuck on a single route anyway.

>>17169247
gives you mad diarhea

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>>17168572
You're right, now it just has a pointless knob.

>>17169685
>Stealing jokes from c&d

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>>17169166
kek'd heartily

>>17169247

I think it changes brake sensitivity, lock probably means braking without ABS

>>17169034
There pedals they make the car go

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I may press it someday

>>17169849
some warning for automatic cruise control?

My PT Cruiser has an 'O/D OFF' button, which also engages the second cooling fan for the radiator.
It's for towing mode... which was an option for only one year and was installed on less than 50 cars.

It's basically a trailer hitch receiver, that button, and an extra radiator and extra oil cooler.

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>04 Benz ML350
>ESP On

>>17168572
>Knob
>Its an auto
>confirmed for badge whore.

>>17169773
You are the one that is a pointless knob!

Actually you're an OK fella, I just like cracking wise. Have a nice day sir. Unless you are a lady,then have a nice day lady.

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I just have this little switch that has no wires going to it on the back side at all. It's not factory. Might rig a light bar to it...

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My friend's old Forester has a button like this.

>>17169966
Pretty sure that one activates the force field

>>17169986
>not having constant real time force field
base model pleb

>>17169180
you can push the tires SLIGHTLY farther than most ABS systems allow.

>>17169175
Kekd

>car has a switch some previous owner installed
>waiting for someone in the parking lot
>flip it on and off
>leave it off
>car won't start

>>17168538

my fj doesnt have that

or a thief deterrant, not like anyone would fucking steal an FJ. sticks out too much.

>>17169948
Hate when previous owners can't put something centered.

>>17170221
Yeah no shit...I might take a shot at remaking the switch.. It's janky as fuck right now, it's been broken in half then super glued back together on the reverse side of it.

Not to mention they cut the dash instead of using one of the 5 unused actual factory switch slots.

>>17169247
Center differential controls

>>17169247
Are you just pretending to be retarded? It adjusts your center diff lockup.

>>17169247
controls how much power can move front to rear
locked will be 50/50, not sure how much unlocked shifts power. it's basically for rallying and other driving where you want a consistent driving profile from the car, rather than some variable thing that changes based on a computer.

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The two buttons to the right, I don't know what they do. It isn't cruise control (it's on a stock-paddle thing on the steering) neither the brightness for the displays and gauges

>>17169180
>>17169198

Not to mention most ABS systems pulse to regain traction, a human can react more linearly to locking which can be better for cornering.

>>17169870
Fellow s60r owner reporting in

>>17170311
dash dimmer or brighter

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>>17168572
>my car doesn't have any pointless buttons thanks to the idrive knob
>thanks to the idrive knob

You mean "thanks by Magneti Marelli" (Fiat)

>>17170671
>Thanks to

fix'd

>>17170311
Those do control the brightness of the dash lighting.
If they don't seem to work then consider checking fuses? idk anon

On a similarly related note I always turn the dash lighting down, almost to the minimum every time. Why are cars lighting up like spaceships to distract me from actually driving at night?

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"Phone mute."

This car has no phone connectivity whatsoever, it's just a mute button that they put a picture of a phone on because, according to the manual, it's so you can quickly mute your radio when your phone rings. There is literally no reason to ever use it when the volume knob is directly above it and you can just push that to turn the whole thing off, given you're only doing one of four things:

>listening to the radio, meaning mute and power-off are the same thing in that you'll miss whatever is happening
>listening to a CD, where muting will make you miss part of the song while powering off will remember the disc, track and time it was at before you powered off
>listening to a tape, where again muting will make you miss the song while powering off won't due to how tapes work
>listening to your phone/media player through a tape deck to 3.5mm cable converter, where not only will you miss the music if you mute it, it won't hold position anyway unless you pause the phone instead (and if you're doing that why not just unplug the cable or turn the volume down or etc)

Why does this even exist.

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>>17169112
>>17169180
>>17169198
>>17170085
You can actually beat the ABS if you git gud.

Also save your Hoosiers from getting flat spots.

http://farnorthracing.com/autocross_secrets9.html

>>17170680
>On a similarly related note I always turn the dash lighting down, almost to the minimum every time. Why are cars lighting up like spaceships to distract me from actually driving at night?

What I hate is that warning lights don't scale with the brightness setting. I have aftermarket wheels with no TPMS sensors because fuck spending $2-300 on them when I have a Longacre racing tire gauge in the glovebox, and the TMPS warning light is annoying as fuck when driving on a dark road. I leave my gauges brighter than I'd like because somehow having the whole cluster lit up is less irritating than just having one bright icon.

>>17169013
Do you live in California? And I think that's a kia, Right?

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>tfw no friends

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Most of these

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>>17170713
Covering up those pesky warning lights you don't want to deal with is literally why electrical tape was invented in 1886.

>>17170758
>ESP OFF
Do you keep that pushed in at all times or do you sometimes drive in Spanish?

89 E30 and under my dash theres a black button that twists and pushes in iirc. I pushed it once and the alarm went off. pushed it again and nothing. tried it several times after that and still nothing. Car always unlocks, starts, and nothing weird.

I'm assuming it's just the aftermarket alarm system and maybe immobilizer that doesn't function as originally intended

>>17169088
Never seen placeholder buttons?

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>>17170794
ESP OFF disables the car's psychic projection function, normally the car automatically allows you to see 30 seconds into the future. It's nice to use when you want a more adventurous driving experience.

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>>17168538
One time I sat in an Alfa 164. I was looking for a fun shitbox at the time. The dash made my head hurt so I moved on

>>17170758
Touareg? I like that wood but you're right way too many buttons

>>17170701
>tilt the headrest forward so you can't lean back and fall asleep
>super traction control
>open trunk
>fold mirrors in because you're car is too fat

>>17170701
There is nothing confusing about any of this.

>>17170762
jesus fuck at least do it correctly

>>17168538
There's a button in the passenger footwell of my car that makes it beep and tell me the tires need air. I understand it's for towing but nobody should tow anything with an anemic 4dr and it gets pushed EVERY TIME I have a passenger

>>17170874
But he did do it correctly since he did the bare minimum amount of work.

>>17170762
How many miles on the 9-3? My girlfriend and I both had 9-3s and they both threw rods at ~150K.

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>>17170693
ford engineering at its finest

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I pressed this button once. My 4Runner started blasting Golden Age and this happened.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fR7XKdhTZE

>>17169034
it's called a clutch you autist

>>17170762
Not an imitation crab meat coupon.

>>17169034
It's for when your car tips onto its right side. You push it and it flips back up.

>>17170762
When there is still sticker residue over CEL from PO but no sticker and the lights out.

>How long was it broken
>what did they blow off doing for so long
>what else is nigged on my ride?

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I honestly never entirely figured out the heater controls on my car
never drive it in the cold, so fuck it I guess

My old Toyota Cressida had these emergency seatbelt release handles to release the automatic electronic seatbelts in case of an accident. I never pulled them because I feared it would trigger explosive bolts to blow them off like some cars in the era had for the doors.

>>17170701
That headrest button is brilliant.
>daughters acting like bitches to each other in my back seat
>press button
>springloaded headrests smack them both in the back of the grape
>assblasted silence rest of the trip

>>17169870
Could be comfy senpai.

>>17170693
Maybe it's designed with connected phone capable vehicles in mind

>>17169948

Subaru / Toyota? I think that's a foglight switch. It's an option on those cars, but yeah they do a crummy job of hiding the work they did.

>>17171541
>obvious dummy switch panel that's had a cheap non-OEM switch installed terribly
>it's an option bro

>>17169034

mines got one of those, If you have an aftermarket alarm its called a valet switch. It lets you start the car if you just use the key to get in with out disabling the alarm with the key fob. Or when my shitty aftermarket alarm fob wont disable the alarm because its shitty...

>>17170758
>a 12 valve button

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>>17171402

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>tfw nothing to press

Digits

>>17171715
this is how it should be

>>17169966
Makes the car bigger

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>>17169175

>>17170758
Your 'wood grain' trim looks uncomfortably like heavily infected, sloughing flesh.

>>17171460
>a car built in 2001, designed in 1979, and marketed to geriatrics
>designed with anything phone related in mind

>>17169966
yeah that turns on the ADS. usually used in active war zones but can be pretty useful during a daily commute, too.

>>17169966
Makes your car bigger and deal 2.5x physical damage for 20s (cooldown 50s).

>>17170701
>standard template construct

the mechanicus have been alerted

>>17169004
lol you drive a subaru

>>17168548
kek

>>17168572
An automatic BMW
Fucking end yourself

>>17169909

The towing capacity cannot be that high. Might be good for steep hills though.

>>17169870
pray to God you don't press that button

>>17170840
Then you're retarded, both for having missed the opportunity of driving a fine car and also for calling it a shitbox.

>>17170085
Agreed. However on dry pavement, modern ABS is so good that you pretty much need to tune your foot for every single corner and account for changing road/tire conditions. You essentially need to BE the ABS, thinking on the spot. It's not like old "on-off" systems. 99/100 the ABS is going to beat any driver with less than 1000hrs on the track.

I mean fuck, it's banned by Formula 1.

>>17169004
>having a botnet car

>>17170713
>What I hate is that warning lights don't scale with the brightness setting

> Warning lights
> Warning
> Lights

THEY'RE A FUCKING WARNING. MAINTAIN YOUR VEHICLE.

>>17173130
I have something that no ABS does (to date). Eyeballs. I can see road conditions coming up and prepare my reactions for them.

>>17169247
>>17170287
this. when you drive your subaru around like a normie it's actually FWD, when you put down more power it will dynamically add more bias to the rear wheels to the point where a drag start sends 100% of the power to the rear for very quick starts(otherwise your front wheels would just try to spin and be slowed down by traction control).

>>17170708
>De-acceleration
>not deceleration
And you trust this?

>>17170749
>dimmer

so you're able to adjust the light output of your headlight?

>>17169849

Backing alarm.

>>17170701
Well my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back, and I know my rights, you gon need a warrant for tha.

>>17168548

that's for child seats in the front

>>17170701
why do you have a dildo button?

>>17169034
Don't touch it, unless you plan to say ejecto seato cuz.

>>17169166
I know you're joking but it's something to do with DPF. It's a stupid button because the DPF is supposed to be totally automated.

>>17173773
Subaru has never made a car that is only part time AWD. There have been part time 4WD ones, but not AWD.

the underwater distress light
Because I'm not a retard

>>17174472
Perhaps it disables or cancels a regeneration cycle. Something which could be useful in certain situations.

My car has two buttons that both kinda look like the fog light symbol but one's a bit different and I'm still not sure what it actually does. Never bothered to look it up.

>>17173773
I have no idea how Subaru's AWD system works: The Post

My is300 has a "snow" button. Makes my slow car slower.

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>>17174491
that would probably be either the front or rear fog light(s)

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>>17174299

>>17174529
does it have a sun symbol for it to go faster?

>>17174533
>rear fog lights
Aw shit I completely forgot that was a thing. The other button is for the front foglights but of course I never noticed the rears doing anything.

>>17174555
Theyre great for gettin people to get off your ass

>>17174561
How about not staying in the left lane? or creating a line of cars by going slow?

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>>17174606
There are people that tailgate regardless of the lane you are in.

>>17174663
I'm glad I'm not living in a city

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Can't find any, there are more placeholders than buttons in this car.

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There's this thing under the steering wheel that has a recording of some Japanese woman saying some Jap shit I don't understand when I press the little volume button.

I don't know what this thing does, or what it's even supposed to be.

>>17175577
Oh yeah I also don't know what "A/T SNOW" does either.

>>17175577
what the fuck

>>17175577
looks like a disc drive
maybe some weird old nav system

>>17169966
it's the deflector shield for when you're under attack by an alien vessel

>>17175577
What car is that?

I found something about Nissan Stageas having such a button which makes it not use it first gear for the automatic transmission. The card reader seems to be something related to toll roads.

>>17175647
It's an R34

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this button, i had the car for weeks before i found out what it did

>>17169034
is that a button, or is it a dial with the knob missing? By the shape it seems like it's meant to have a knob on it and be turned, in which case it could possibly be a homemade trailer brake controller?

>>17174533

>The cruise button initiates a car chase where you actually perform your own stunts

>>17175711
It only circulates the air inside the cabin instead of taking in air from the outside.

>>17170648
TURN ON THE FUNK

>>17175742
A lot of vehicles these days won't start unless the clutch is up and the transmission is in manual so I'm guessing this disables that, allowing you to start it in gear but with the clutch pressed in.

>>17175711
Ah yes, the dedicated roundabout button.

>>17175847

i never want to recycle my own farts

>>17175577
its a card for the japanese toll sytems, your car gets scanned.

>>17175886
it lets you start it without pushing the clutch

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How many of you fuckers knew what the little tab does under the rearview. Pic related I just found out this weekend

>>17176292

Since I was 9 at least.

>>17176292
I legit just thought that was there to hold on to little tree shaped air fresheners.

>>17175656
AT Snow button makes the auto trans start in 2nd gear so you dont go takumi taking off in the snow.
>>17175941
is also correct

>>17175604
jdm toll booth reader.

stick your toll card in it and the toll booths read your card

>>17178374
jdm tyte yo!

>>17168538
OP wat car is that? That is an ASTHETIC as fuck gear shifter.

>>17171167
>this is actually real
Holy shit

>>17175577
>buying jap imports

It clearly says ELECTRONIC TOLL COLLECTION and the japanese lady is saying please insert ETC card

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>tfw my first car didn't have ABS, power steering, traction control or airbags
>tfw had to use a choke to get it started in the winter
It was my favorite car of all.
Bought it used for 400 EUR in 2001.

>>17169166
Press button to *BRAAAAAAAAPPPPP*

>>17169849
Collision warning. The dial below it changes the distance.

>>17176292
>tfw current car doesn't have one of those tabs and you're supposed to rely on the auto-dim function which NEVER WORKS

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We all wish for one, dont lie.

>>17168538
we got a car for 3rd worlders so it barely have any buttons

>>17176292
jokes on you my windows are tinted so i never have to fuck with my mirror

tfw i keep finding random wires from some old non functional car alarm


feels bad man. fuck all these wiring hackjobs

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>>17180902

>>17169152
AW11?

>>17170840
haha that dash looks amazing

>>17173919
What if it was just Hans Vlurgenburger trying to make a graph in English instead of German and not fully understanding the intricacies of the language

>>17169921
>>17172911
that pic is not even my car, geez
why would you want a comfy luxury cruiser 5 series with a manual anyway

>>17176292
>tfw my mom adjusted her mirror so that one setting looked out the back and the other looked down into the backseat so she could see if my brother and I were up to no good

>>17175577
You need an etc card

why the fuck do you have a car equipped with an etc card reader if you arent in japan?

take that shit off and sell it to the closest JDM CIVIC RICER for a couple hundred bucks

>>17182096
I have no idea desu, when I bought the car it was only imported into the country two weeks prior.

Can I really sell it to some JDM-obsessed idiot for a couple hundred?

>>17169152

>>17168572

Woah, that interior looks really dated.

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>>17182185
>>17169152
Dammit, forgot my pic

>>17168572
>my car doesn't have any pointless buttons
>there are still 34 buttons in sight despite the kikeKnob

>>17182147
Given how gullible those types are,then yes you could even go full merchant and sell it for $1000.

>>17169013
That's the scrunchie holder anon.

>>17175577
jdm af toll pass

>>17169849
>>17169892
>>17174240
>>17169849

mercedes radar cruise control... dial changes the distance the car will maintain behind the vehicle you are following.

>>17169870
no you won't

>>17170840
just install some leds and you have a spaceship

>>17170749
that one toggles between arcade/realistic controls

>>17175711
Isn't this for when the car flips over?

>>17180902
Well I have a laptop with TURBO BOOST and VOICE ANALYZER. Lack of X-RAY functionality sucks though

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>>17168538
>Bat proximity alarm

Wish there was one for Owls.

>>17173712
Fuck off schlomo. I'm not paying $1,200 to know what my tire pressure is.

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>>17168538

Lada Niva and it's three sticks

>>17186295
that cant be real right?
youve just put some spare shifters in the cup holders or somthing

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>>17168572
>automatic
>bmw

>>17186839
Probably differential locks or for transfer cases.

>>17186295
>>17186839

Yupp.
>>17187051
One is low range, the other one locks the transfer

>>17172911
>>17169921
>>17187029
Manuals have been ludicrous for at least 40-50 years now. Stop fucking embarrassing yourselves.

>>17187290
I like to imagine the people driving stick shift also refuse to use tv remotes, blenders, dishwashers, etc. under the same principle.

>>17169013
>>17169028
Some kid Scienced it for us
https://youtu.be/j6HCdfkErSw

>>17182320
radio controls and ac controls.

File: IMG_3040.jpg (64KB, 772x569px) Image search: [Google]

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>>17182252
that panel trim and seat combo looks like shiit.
Pic related same car but different seats and trim color, looks ok for a 2003 car imo

>>17187290
>>17187559

>Not caring about the 10% greater power loss of automatic transmissions compared to manual transmissions

File: IMG_1489.jpg (1MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

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>>17168538
Info im familliar with
CAT does not spawn a cat
Scv pulls up something called "speed volume" with min med and max settings

>>17169948
That's very obviously a Hino or Isuzu truck, and that would normally be the "Liftgate Toggle Switch"

Get back to work.

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>>17187972
Go back to 1960 grandpa

>>17188621
there is one major advantage between standard shift and automatics.

you actually have to pay attention to the road ahead of you on a standard shift car.

>>17173035
2000lbs, apparently, according to the tech documents.
It's an N/A 4 speed auto and doesn't hit 4th until 50mph anyway... which if your N/A PT can hit 50 while towing any weight at all you are lucky. Slow as fuck cars. Uphill from a standing start is painful and embarrassing.
If you need to tow just use a manual.

>>17188621
You need to be 18 or older to post here.

Why do you think automatic transmissions are never used in competitions?

It's because they just can't compete.

>>17182271
2011-2014 Subaru (wrx maybe? Or maybe it's the same head unit in all Imprezas from those years)?

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>>17168538

>>17188790
>Why do you think automatic transmissions are never used in competitions?
>Almost every serious drag car today uses autos

>>17188621
The lunched differential is a reason why manual transmissions are bad?

"Look it has gears it must be a picture of a manual transmission"

I'm impressed you solved the captcha

>>17170693
Its so that you can mute it in a single button, and not have to turn the knob.

Many cars have this, and its quite useful.

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>>17186295
Child's play

>>17189193
>The lunched differential is a reason why manual transmissions are bad?
Actually yes
>>17170693
Because Ford

>>17172436
>>17170758
They look like trapped tortured faces

>>17169152
S L A Y E R

>>17175838
>cruise button takes you to the nearest port and into a cruise ship

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>>17178532
Same

No AC, no airbags, no ABS, no power steering, no traction control, no power windows, in a 2011 new car. To be fair, it was incredibly cheap, $5400 new and it has been incredibly reliable so far. My brother uses it now to deliver pizzas.

>>17188073
SCV is probably speed controlled volume. Settings are for how much the system will turn it up and down between high and low speeds. Barely works for shit in my civic.

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I have no idea what this thingy do

>>17189361
>turn the knob
read the rest of the post, you can also push the knob and it does the same fucking thing

>>17190621

Thats ok anon...most people driving today don't know what it's for either...

>>17169152
Some cassettes used metal tapes (ferrochrome, usually) as its storage medium. That's probably what that button is for.

>>17189375
unimog?

>>17188701
>you actually have to pay attention to the road ahead of you on a standard shift car.

Explain why that's supposed to be the case. Personally I've only driven manual (not out of choice but I'm still on my first car, which is a shitbox worth less than my monthly salary; I just got whatever I could get to learn to drive) I don't see how having to shift makes me pay more attention to the road.

Because guess what? When I have to brake I don't immediately have to downshift. When I brake more or less suddenly, I would still only have to clutch out or downshift when I'm almost at a standstill to avoid stalling. And I assume that's actually your argument, right? That you have to downshift in advance when slowing down? You don't.

>>17174272
Sure that's what you tell them when they review it for safety. But it's definitely to keep the passenger seat in check.

>>17190661
S A V A G E

>>17170648
>>17182271
>>17188073
>>17170740
>drive a 7 series BMW
>no FUNK button
>no party mode button
>no buttons for cat dispensers
And they call this shitbox luxury, jesus fuck Europe are you even trying?

>>17191543
Not european

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Step the fuck back.