ITT: Dick things you would do if you were a car manufacturer

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>make sporty coupe that's reliable, has a good chassis, has all proportions spot-on for a sporty RWD coupe
>make it FWD

>Make a really cool sport coupe
>RWD, light, looking agressive, and affordable
>Then, that's the devilish part, I would only put a shitty NA 2.0 with only 200hp!

>>16970986
Don't forget the Grand Canyon in the middle of the torque curve.

>>16970986
Fuck you at least my 86 can drift for days. Bet your faggot civic can't do that

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>make a car designed purely for driving pleasure
>make it so small that taller people can't fit in

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>>16971013
LANKLETS GET FUCKED

>make great cars and sell them for suitable prices
>watch as /o/tistic poorfaggots apply 20 layers of mental gymnastics as to why they're bad

>design heavy duty work truck
>make it out of aluminum

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>>16971026

>create sports car with engine position that's objectively a very bad idea
>refine it for some 50 years so it's one of the best sports cars in the world anyway
>create cheaper model with engine in the right place
>gimp it like hell because it can't surpass muh tradition

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>>16971034

>>16971011
Too bad you they had to put low grip eco tires to be able to do that :3

>>16971033
Why did you photoshop the hole to be smaller?

>Acquire several manufacturers
>Assure that each one will a special focus
>Have them all make the same FWD ecoboxes anyway

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>>16970986
SPBP

>>16971090
hi VAG

>>16971011
yeah but i have my C O O L V I B R A T I O N S

>stuff in the engine bay (coolant reservoir, clutch master, ABS unit, washer reservoir and so on) are all fastened with different types of bolts with different heads
Some phillips, some flat, some torx

>>16971013
>car designed to be small and light
>country of origin has much smaller average height

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>make a cool new mustang that can actually turn
>refuse to put the ecoboost V6 in it because it would be so much better than the V8

>>16970972
>Require expensive, special tools that are only good for specific models to service the car.
>Write "see dealer" for everything in the do-it-yourself section of the owners manual
>say that the ATF never needs to be changed. That way the tranny self destructs and the customer knows it is time for a new car. Customers need to be told when it's time for a new car otherwise they would keep them too long and hurt sales. 200k miles is the max anyone should expect out of their car.

I'd hide muffins all throughout the car.

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>>16971020
>>16971013
>Miata is essentially a Japanese updated version of the MGB
>does not have the MGB's leg room

>make the perfect RWD sports car, perfect engine, perfect weight distribution, perfect power to weight ratio for maximum fun
>only offer it with a garbage autotragic slushbox

>Get hold of Lancia
>Promise a new Delta Integrale
>Hype it up
>A month before reveal drop
>"A modern interpretation that enthusiasts will appreciate :^)"
>Geneva comes around
>"We are pleased to present
>the modern
>the eco-concious
>Hybrid Delta Integrale
>Crossover"
>Based on the Juke Chassis
>No manual
>AWD only on "Evoluzione", the all-electric model

>>16971094
I think he meant GM.

I mean I'm all for the corvette and camaro and I mean they should have some econoboxes of course but....

I mean look at buick, Cadillac, Opel, and chevys econoboxes. All the same shit owned by the same company

Also trucks. GMC, chevy, and even Cadillacs Escallade truck monstrosity are the same fuckig things

>make the perfect RWD sports car chassis
>only sell it as a 150 hp hybrid

>>16971234
desu,
VAG is the GM of Europe, and the other way around.

Make shitty cars for decades and then take a bailout and then keep making shitty cars

>>16970972
engine under windshield with transverse engine, have coupe with bucket seats in back where seats make your knees 45degrees up from your ass
>>16970981
thats normal

>>16971259
american way desu

>>16971234
also I forgot to mention saturn. Before GM killed it, it was also some more fucking econoboxes. Pontiac also was to a certain extent, but pontiac had some cool shit

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>make car with rust prone areas unreachable without cutting metal or octopus tentacle dexterity

>>16970972
>use 11mm and 15mm nuts
>replace all allen screws with torx

>>16970981
>friend has a 6th gen monte carlo
>i don't know much about chebby
>i learn it only came in FWD automatic

What the actual fuck, GM

>>16971106
>wanting to pay V8 money for a V6 in your muscle car

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>>16970986

>>16971338
this is more of a dick move. no transmission options is something no one should try to deffend

>make good vehicles that outshine other brands in that category
>give the car a expensive mechanical Achilles heel that will fail just outside mfr. warranty
>deny all knowledge of a problem

its like nobody is coming up with anything original and are just going to do what manufacturers already done. i guess thats the joke but cmon

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>>16971227
That's the most horrifying thing I've ever heard

>>16971227
that sounds like shit.

>>16971099
You fucking monster.
>also, make the model for the european market use bolts measured in inches

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>>16970972
Use shitty cab forward design which reduces engine bay space for things like batteries, and put the battery in the wheel well instead of in the trunk like any sane person would

>>16971295

>build commercial-grade trucks with rust prone oil pans
>require engine to be removed and turned upside down for new pan gasket to cure, incurring large labor costs

oh wait Ford already did that lol

>>16971412
>Not using a mix of imperial and metric bolts

>>16971425
Lmfao what car is that

>>16971412
>>16971461
And switch them around for the American market model.

>>16971425
fucking this. especially when they are transverse and have the exhaust or intake is directly in a space under the windsheild wipers or bumper. i dislike having to remover everything around it to get there.

>Use seat adjusters that are like office chairs which violently drop you to the floor as soon as you touch the height adjustment.
>Animal Crossing Resetti-like lecture when you start the car (unable to drive) every time you use regular fuel instead of premium

>>16971468
Most fwd chryslers from the late 90s to the 2014 avenger

>>16971367
And your post contributed so much to the discussion too!

>do extensive research to ensure my performance/enthusiast oriented cars have styling that appeals to effeminate homosexual consumer base, and are bought by them in large numbers

>watch gleefully as straight enthusiast consumers go "wat do"?

>>16971227
Torture would be preferable to this happening.

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>>16971425
>have nice regular sized hood/engine bay
>put battery in the wheel well anyway

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>Be Subaru
>Make estate version of the popular WRX STi model
>Make it automatic only

......oh wait, they already did this. What the fuck were they thinking???

>>16971622
>also sell it literally everywhere except the US which is their biggest market
I love Subaru but damn they can be pants-on-head retarded sometimes

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Fusible links and torx EVERYWHERE.

>>16971367
Actually I think you're right. Me try bit harder.

>have all power options like seats, mirrors, steering wheel slowly lose their settings
>employ eye detection so dashboard warning lights sporadically light up, but go off the instant they're looked at. False alarm? You decide!
>Hands-free car phone that mimics your voice, makes lewd comments when calling people (like your boss)

>car repeatedly beeps for the entire time you are going above the speed limit (limits are determined by GPS programs)
>car displays end user license agreement and requests digital signature every time you drive

>>16971426

Wouldn't it be easier to just leave the engine in and turn the entire truck upside down

>>16971886
No?

>>16971745
The bad joke here is that John Deere tractors already do the EULA thing.

>promote and financially back federal law that car GPS sends data back to the insurance provider every time driver speeds
>car GPS learns your routes and audibly suggests more efficient ones. Its suggestions may not be actually possible. New EPA law states this feature cannot be disabled.

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>>16971707
FUCK OFF VOLKSWAGEN

650 HP V10

Fwd
No LSD
3 speed automatic
Solid front and rear axle
Rear engine
Recirculating ball steering

>>16971289
You also forgot Oldsmobile, who arguably fell the furthest.

>>16971425
Are those battery terminals just out and exposed to all the water and salt and shit from the wheel well?

That... seems like a really bad idea.

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>>16971490
>Animal Crossing Resetti-like lecture when you start the car (unable to drive) every time you use regular fuel instead of premium
IF YOU DIE IN THE GAME YOU DIE FOR REAL

>>16972077
No, there's an inner fender liner you have to remove to get to the battery. Either way, chryslers engineering team must be ordering paste by the truckload for lunch every day.

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>make a 4200 pound, 18 foot long land barge with enough seat space to fit three and a half nuclear families
>give it a tiny glovebox that barely fits your insurance paperwork, cubbies in the doors that have no lids and are too small to store anything in, and no under-seat trays
>and the only cup holders will be two tiny plastic pieces of shit that fold out of the dash and can't even hold a soda can without tipping

OH WAIT. SOMEONE ALREADY
FUCKING
DID
THAT.

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>>16970972
Make the BRZ slower than ancient family sedans

>>16972133
Holy shit this
>tfw my carry gun doesn't fit in my MGM's glove box

>>16972095
>>16971207

gold/10

>mid engine
>3300 lbs
>FWD
>crossover

>>16972096
>Hide awkwardly placed equipment and fuel/brake lines behind patented Scunge Trap-r panels, now with X-tra Fragil plastic screws! Guaranteed to trap muck and rust out whatever's behind it faster than ever!

>battery in trunk half under rear pane
>oil filter surrounded by exhaust piping
>11mm, two different torx bits and a proprietary bolt holding splash guard on
>speaking of battery let's make the contacts as huge and awkward as possible
>no dipsticks of any kind
>have to remove parts from engine bay to get to air filter
>cabin filter near completely inaccessible
>wheel bolts
>proprietary OBD plug in a la VAGCOM required for just about everything
>engine covered by no less than ten panels
>transverse mounted boxer engine
>FWD

>>16970972
Shill the fuck out of car subs and anything car-related on Reddit, apparently. Especially if Tesla and other small competitors were giving my big-name car company a run for its money.

>>16971622
>Be Subaru
>Make perfect small SUV version of WRX
>Don't have STI option
>Make it a pigfat crossover after a few years

>Be Subaru
>Make perfect ute version of your station wagon
>Gimp performance and stop making them

>Be Subaru
>Collaborate with Toyota to make a fun affordable RWD coupe
>Give it 200HP
>torque dip

>Be Subaru
>Make a decent not quite crossover with decent stock offroad capabilities and other practical nicities
>148HP

>Be Subaru owner
>List 13 year old car with auto transmission for 10k I know what I got no lowballers tastefully modded with STI floormats STI stickers and performance fart cannon

>Be Subaru owner
>List 13 year old STI for 15k great condition only needs engine rebuild also minor front damage
>All frontal bodywork is gone

I love Subarus but god damn.

>>16972326
Oh nearly forgot
>Be Subaru
>Make station wagon
>Stick giant A pillar where it blocks your side vision

>>16972326

Be a 2014 Subaru Outback owner.

- Make headlights require that we remove front wheel and jack car up to change.

- Make backup camera not waterproof and not under warranty when it stops working because you had the temerity to take it out in the rain.

>>16972346
>- Make headlights require that we remove front wheel and jack car up to change.
No fucking way

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Hire the entire Ford aesthetic design team responsible for their 1996 - 2004 series of vehicles and standardize this Disney bubble princess shit look for all future models of cars / trucks.

WTF were they thinking?!?!?!?

>>16972353
Look, you CAN bend the fuck out of the wheel well plastic to do it, but look at the video below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2h1Ep2rYs8

I still love the car, but you know the engineer in Japan who does this tortures cats in his spare time.

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>>16972364
>There will never a be 'stang styled like this

>>16970972
Great thread BTW OP. I could spend all day on this.

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Standardize the upside down oil filter holder that Toyota uses on their recent Tacoma's. It makes a n oil change much more fun because you need a turkey baster to clean up all the fucking slop in the catch cup that ALWAYS overflows.

You know it was some fat dump somewhere in Toyota who came up with this idea because he was too lazy to go under the truck and do it the way the rest of the civilized automotive world does.

>>16972405
Good news!
There's a simple way to deal with this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNyidq8iWD4

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>>16971289
But Saturns are cool my dude

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>Build a coupé that looks fast as fuck
>make it underpowered and fwd

proprietary security drives in various sizes on all bolts and screws

>>16970972
engine switches itself off everytime it comes to a stop.

Oh wait.

>>16972133

Best part is that putting anything in the cup holders blocks the HVAC controls.

>>16972510
not underpowered and handled great.

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>>16972474
no.

>be automaker
>make car that fulfills all /o/meme requirements
>rwd
>manual
>under 25k new
>under 2800lbs
>350+ horsepower
>reliable
>easy to work on
>indepenent suspension all around
>4 wheel disc brakes
>go promptly out of business because
that's impossible to do without losing money in every car

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>>16972510
>Design an aggressive sedan
>"So, should we offer something that only BMW is currently tapping or go compete with absolutely everybody else?"

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>>16972374
These motherfuckers require similar effort, JUST TO CHANGE A HEADLIGHT BULB.

>>16971034
Aren't the 911 race cars mid engine now

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>>16972639
>make decent sporty-ish premium-ish sedan with neat as fuck rev-happy low-displacement V6 engine
>FWD

>>16972657
Sounds like a impala

>>16971425
>>16971540
>>16971488
>>16971603
>have one of the brake lines rub on the exhaust from the factory
>mount the engine longitudinally (on a FWD car)
>have the radiator buried under the core support
>have the ass end of the engine buried under the cowl
>have one of the radiator hoses go aaaaaaalll the way to the ass end of the engine
>put the transmission cooler inside the radiator so when it goes, it dumps all the ATF into the coolant
>make the transmission cooler out of glass/chinesium so it breaks every 50,000 miles
>mount the starter in a place it takes a double jointed contortion artist to get to
>make both the battery cable and solenoid wire just BARELY long enough to reach the starter
>no coolant drain on the block
>no coolant drain on the radiator
>put the lower water neck on the radiator ~4" from the bottom of the radiator

God dammit I fucking hate Chrysler so much. I'm so glad the Germans bought that wreck.

>Rear wheel steering, FWD, midengine car
>mix of metric and imperial bolts, each wheel has a different mix of sizes for lugs
>spare is pink to notify other drivers you're on a spare
>600 HP
>emergency light button fires flares and a distress radio broadcast
>OBDII scanner port in the trunk, under the spare
>cruise control sets itself at a speed +/- 5 mph different from what you set it at, it is random
>tachometer doesn't have a red band for the revs the redline is at, just a hair thin red line right at where it is
>transmission goes in the a dog leg 5 speed pattern, but R and 3 are swapped
>comes stock stanced, properly adjusted suspension can be either as a package off the lot, or as a lot with parts in the trunk
>turn signals are like cheap Christmas lights, when one goes out, they all go out
>comes with a premium sound system, but the stock head has two volume settings, ear bleedingly loud or whisper quiet
>stock tires are two drag slicks, a winter tire and a summer tire, the drag slicks at front right, rear left, and the other two varying whatever corner
>$20k
>highest trim has no badges, lowest has "ANON MOTORSPORTS TEAM" in big letters on the sides
>super emergency brake, located next to the clutch, deploys a parachute

No cupholders

>>16971745

>radio shuts off every time you drive above the speed limit
>heat/ac shut off every time you drive above the speed limit
>speed is locked to 5mph max when driver's seatbelt isn't on
>backup sensor that if removed voids warranty

>>16972227
the new mr2?

>Make a really cool looking, open-wheel roadster, with 50/50 weight distribution and good handling that make it fun to drive.
>make it heavy
>give it a lethargic V6 and 4-speed autotragic transaxle

I fucking swear Chrysler tries to suck. At least and LS+manual swap isn't too hard in them.

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>>16970972
>make new crossover
>name it the eclipse

>>16972991
Don't do that

>>16972918
Whod the fuck would remove his backup sensor??

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>button transmission
>offer only turbo 4 in large vehicles
>only a dealership can work on your car
>key fob is worth more than a new smartphone
>make even the most basic features like turn signal impossible to operate
>engine made completely of plastic
>nothing is user replaceable, even the windshield wipers

>>16972763
>obdii scanner now is a proprietary connector that you cant buy and only the dealership can have
keeps the goy in fear

>>16973047
I meant like one of the backup sensors that big trucks have. It beeps loud when you back up so everybody around you knows you're backing up

>>16973067
>that bodykit

ahead of it's time

>>16971085
I like the blurred edges; makes me think I'm lookin' at something dirty.

>>16973146
like one of them chinese porn comics

>purposely install air bags that kill you

Wait this one's been done.

>>16973171
YEAH! Let me slam muh toolbox into ur dainty bed!

>Crumple Zone Ultra: Protect those bicyclists when they ignore traffic laws and slam into your vehicle. This feature lets your car fold like Kleenex to absorb the impact for those adorable scofflaws. Because what's more important, your car or a life?

>Deluxe wiper blades with copyright protection so no affordable aftermarket options, dealer replacement only. New Safe-T Wear system reminds you to buy new ones by screeching across the glass and scratching the window, well before the replacement time.

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>>16973210
>>16973171

>>16970972
FWD and automatic transmission for any car that looks cool

Cycle Aware: Is motorcycle lane splitting and filtering illegal in your state? No matter, our system will ease their journey when they do it anyways! Side view cameras detect the approaching motorcyclist, automatically folding in your mirrors and steering your car to give him maximum room. If he still doesn't feel accommodated, our EZ-Break system lets him easily dent your door or knock your mirror off before he speeds away!

Make an fwd v6 engine with iron block and aluminum heads, and have coolant flow through the intake manifold, and put cheap plastic gaskets on the intake manifold that crack and leak after 50k miles, and make the pushrods go through the intake gasket so you need to remove them to replace the gasket. And put that engine in a minivan with horrible crash test ratings that will die a rusty death in less than 10 years.

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>>16970972
>stereo with integrated climate control that has no AUX or USB input

>>16972346
Why the fuck did you drive in the rain ? Don't you know that's how you rust out cars . Also don't wash it ever :^)

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>>16972364
You guys got lucky with those, us Ausfags got the top trim model with the unique front end. The US front looks infinitely better than this.

>>16972639
Fuck the VR was so fucking sexy

>>16971020
How tall is that man?

>>16971085
He shooped it deeper.

>>16973717
I like this more

>>16973385
>Wah!
>What are we gonna do on the bed?

>>16972405
Crack it open slightly and don't touch it for 5 minutes while the pan drains. Easy enough

>make first turbo version of car
>make it best possible enthusiast car with current tech
>make it FWD because muh tradition
Seriously why would I pay for a type R when AWD cars in the same vein exist for less.

>>16973805
Really? But it's got bug eyes and the grill looks like a weird little smile.

>>16973717
i wonder why australia gets to many unique versions of US cars. i remember hearing the chevy suburban over there ended up with the dash from chevy blazers.

>have a history of making extremely reliable cars
>decide it's more profitable to make cars like soulless disposable goods in order to sell more of them
>cars last 200k max but only with expensive regular dealer servicing

>>16972626
wow, this looks like it was designed in India for their homemarket

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>>16971227

>>16970972
>if you were a car manufacturer

Interior design engineer here. Technically tier 2 but the parts I sign off on are obviously tier one, final design.

They told me to make sweet map pockets that are sprung cam action. SMOOOOOTH.

But we were trying to save ounces, so fuck that shit. Velcro and rubber.

Guess the model. Hint: The wiring harness weighed in at over 1700 pounds and I saved a total of 13 ounces by not trying....

Cadillac ATS. They called it evoke at some point

Also: 3 of the interior design seniors were cocaine addicts. ROB, BRAD, STEVE.... NICE job fagots

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>>16971225
>Build the NA Miata
>Don't offer it with a 13B

>>16974029
didn't mean to reply to that post, I wasn't paying attention.

>>16974027
>Technically tier 2 but the parts I sign off on are obviously tier one, final design.


MSi faggot detected

>>16972510
>1.8l
>189hp


Where's the issue

Apart from the open diff xDSDdSDdZ as

>>16970972
>Dick things you would do

Proprietary diagnostics all around. But only on performance models.

Tune those bitches to street sloth status,

RSA keys cost a fucking mint to allow basic performance unlocking.


Mega nerds finally validate their prime numbers research.

>>16971259
thanks Obama

>be lincoln
>overhype the new flagship model
>cool as fuck door handles
>cool as fuck adjustable seats
>dat ass
>those headlights
>v6 only

>>16973810
My truck must've been a lemon. It never drained. Glad it worked for you. I'd rather just have an oil pan under an upsidedown filter. Especially in a truck where under engine access is cake.

Drive Aware: This system keeps drivers alert by using heads-up display technology to randomly and suddenly project lifelike images of helpless old ladies and small children directly in front of the vehicle. If driver does not react in time, active suspension will simulate the "thump-thump" of rolling over a body. Can not be disabled and results are sent directly to insurance company. Now required by law.

>>16974720
But the current trend for safety features is to make it as easy for the driver to not pay attention and not kill anyone (automatic stopping, blind spot detection, etc.)

>>16974027
>The wiring harness weighed in at over 1700 pounds
I assume you meant 170 pounds.

>>16972629
Actually you could do it pretty easily. The big issue is doing all that while having the thing meet CAFE and shit.

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Make cars that require all types of unusual wear and tear maintenance and uses picture related in proprietary widths and thread pitches.

>>16974748
Sure, but in my dick car manufacturer fantasy all those safety features result in drivers so inattentive that technology can't keep up and driving fatalities spiral out of control. Amidst public outcry, I back legislation that endorses a draconian crackdown on distracted drivers. The aforementioned safety features are removed, and things get worse (for the driver) from there. Meanwhile I writhe in sadistic glee (and piles of cash).

But we can still do yours:
Beta-Stop system: Using Wi-Fi, this system constantly evaluates not only the value of cars around you, but their drivers (through public data). Your car will automatically stop and give way to people higher on the social/financial food chain. A built in loudspeaker will loudly exclaim phrases like "S-s-sorry Senpai!" Monthly fee to disable loudspeaker.

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>curve firewall up and over top of engine
>make front of vehicle 5 feet tall
>put individual coil packs on valve covers then run the wires to the other side of the engine
>stuff all the wiring harnesses into one corner of the engine bay then put the battery on top of them
>make the battery box, air filter, coolant reservoir, and washer fluid container be one giant piece of plastic
>put the BCM in the cowling under the windshield
>make all the A/C lines out of steel
>put plastic vacuum lines everywhere
>attach as much as possible to the radiator
>whatever cant be attached to the radiator is now attached to the fan assembly
>make every electrical plug have shitty latches that break off upon use
>make the fan shroud one single piece
>run wiring harnesses under the frame
>radiator installs from bottom

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>left hand thread oil filters

>>16975222
Cylinder 8 is bullshit. I gave up on it and now I just reset the codes every few weeks to keep the engine from misfiring.

>>16972707
Car?

>>16973736
5'6

>>16972005
death trap

>Make the ultimate rwd/awd cheap turbo car
>gets 250hp+
>incredibly cheap to afford
>make it have as a transmission a
>3
>speed
>slushbox
>automatic

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>build multiple generations of high-performance sportscars with a unique engine
>change its model name over time, progressively improve the engine
>design a legendary chassis, mount the light little engine behind the front axle for near perfect balance, slap a pair of turbos on it
>watch as it BTFOs Ferraris and Porsches as well as all of its domestic competition
>decide to retire it
>few years later, come out with its replacement
>objectively worse in every way, including reliability
>try to improve that over time, never make it any faster though
>decide to retire that as well
>for the next several years, begin the longest cocktease known to man, each year promising to bring back the concept in a platform familiar to what was done in the 90s, the penultimate version of the car
>provide a concept each year, make them look more and more palatable, and even have them be functional and drivable when displayed
>each year, make the same announcement:
>"lol, we're not actually building that, fags, enjoy your car for hairdressers instead."

>>16972364
The superduties look nice at least

>>16971011
Your faggot 86 gets chopped by V6 Honda Oddesseys hahahahah

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>>16975474

>>16972133
Isn't it glorious? :^)

Peugeot after 2001

I would Change the way my company is managed, encourage micromanaging, set impossible quotas, require mandatory overtime 6 days a week, decrease raise frequency, and get just the minimal employee benefits.

>>16973991
>that filename
lel i know whats going on there

>>16975518
The RX-8 with the 20b would've been pretty dank.

Probably more reliable than the initial versions of that renesis bullshit anyway. Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to mess around with the squirters when dealing with a rotary? They made engines die faster without reducing emissions enough to make it worth it. God damn it, Mazda. Just god damn.

>>16976086
well done

make the wheels lock up and cut the brakes if you go over 80mph

>>16971363
ze germans

I'd make a transverse mounted inline 12

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>>16973028
Japanese too slow

>front hoodoor release is two pull strings, each hidden in the door jams
>front hoodoor has no prop rod or gas cylinder to save weight
>front hood is really think carbon fiber
>front hood hinges are weird lifto then rotate. Will break hood of not opened properly. Needs two people to open properly.
>car is MR
>gas filler door takes two minutes to open because of complicated fume seal system
>emergency manual door opener levers break easily if you don't slide the hidden interlock on the under side of the lever.

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>Remake the Hyundai Pony

>>16976865
Hi BMW

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>make a good sport sedan
>4.9s 0-60
>give it good handling
>give it german competing interior


>Put kia logo on it.

>>16970986
This. It makes me so sad. The frs/ brz look so nice but holy fuck what were they thinking with 200 hp

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What is this car? I wanna buy it!

>>16972133
Nigger is your insurance printed on a fucking poster? The glove box isn't tiny

>>16972763
10/10 would paul walker

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>>16975474
>Make mid size performance sedan
>previous series had easily removable head unit
>new series factory in dash cd player
>no aux, make tape player optional
>proprietary unit, no aftermarket
>whole dash needs removal to service
I love my car, but seriously, that was a dick move

>300bhp RWD coupe

> give it super sensitive rear diff that locks violently under moderate cornering

>>16971022
This

>>16975339
300M, Sebring, Caliber

The Caliber was actually pretty easy to work on, but it was the one without the block/rad drain.
So there's definitely some Chrysler heritage in there.

I'd make non-servicable headlights. The entire headlight would be secured in a metal enclosure welded to the frame.

That's the best I can come up with

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>>16972227

Make all controls capacitive touch.
Start/stop? Capacitive touch.
AC? Capacitive touch.
Radio, seat controls, mirror controls, locks, windows? Capacitive touch.

>>16978568
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>16971227
I don't have a mug big enough for all the tears this would bring.

>>16971363
>have big ass mechanical issue
>deny existence of issue even if it's common during warranty periods
Honda_Transmissions.jpg

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>Hide the fuel filter above the (rear) differential

Oh wait, Mazda already did that with the FD

>>16971635
You fucking asshole I fucking hate you.

Use Phillips instead. And put red loctite on it.

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>>16972629
don't low-end Caterhams meet most of those requirements? I know they don't produce even close to 350 hp but their power/weight ratio is excellent regardless.

>>16978568
Capacitive touch is actually kinda decent

Resistive touch is the worst.

Resistive touch and whatever controller those stupid Keurig machines use would be the winning combo.

>push button on touchscreen
>nothing happens
>push harder
>nothing happens
>push hard and hold for 5 seconds
>slooooooow screen redraw
>now i can brew coff-- I mean listen to the radio

>>16978671
Yeah but power to weight and agility is meaningless to bench racers. See the complaints against the FRS as an example.

>>16978676
Caterhams set pretty great track times though. Benchracers love their track times.

>>16972133
It is like you were talking about a 80-90's french land barge.
Except it doesn't have cup holders.
And it is fwd.
And it is underpowered (except for the rare turbo model).

But at least it is comfy.

>>16971348
>make sweet limited run performance versions or popular cars
>japan only :^)

>Stay Puft Anti Puncture System: detects low tire pressure, refills and seals tire automatically
>sealant is a white gooey foam which may burst out from tire bead, coating car and nearby pedestrians

>>16971013
>tfw that one time it feels good to be a manlet

Start production line

Here is the heater core. attach everything else to this.

I think it's been done.

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>>16971348
???

Use something like those 5 lobed iPhone screws to keep the battery in place so people don't notice at first, and only sell the bits to remove them after the dealer or customer has had Kike Motor Company's Safety and Expertise(((tm))) training. Removal without the training voids warrantee.

I read somewhere about Apple doing this with their 5 lobed screws. If someone had regular ones from older models, they'd swap them for 5 lobed ones if a consumer brought their iShit for repaira

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>>16971092
I especially like the fact that Chevrolet Cobalt beat the Lotus Exige S. Did not expect that

I think we can all agree the GT86 as a "race car" is like the plastic thing parents put on doorknobs so kids can't hurt themselves, pic related

That being said...

>"the engine bay is too small for a turbo, the engine barely even fits" -toyota engineers

The V12 quad turbo GT86 shows hilarious promise, far more unhinged than even the ferrari v8 swapped one
https://youtu.be/gQXajc-S56o

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>>16980363
>goes to redline once and twists frame

>>16980397
Kek, did think about this. Hopefully they reinforced it but articles suggest that no, they did not

Typical UAE... build something insane, break it, shrug, then just jump into the laferrari you instructed an underling to follow you in

>>16972474
No.

>>16974784
So you could do ot, but not sell it?

Oil filter between exhaust headers.

>making the cupholders square


WHY

>make mostly reliable, good looking, prepping well behaved econobox

>Glass auto transmission

>Honda civc 7th gen

>>16970972
mix metric and standard bolts
only offer all season tires on every vehicle, cars, trucks, sports cars whatever
auto trannies in everything except diesel trucks and diesel econoboxes which will get sticks

>>16976938

>make it auto only

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>>16972991

>>16971908
Want to bet?

>crx but hybrid

>>16981076
>mix metric and standard bolts

This is already done.

>>16971013
As a 6'8" man this made me rage...I.wanted one so badly, and there was nothing I could do about it

>>16971033

>not using a bed liner

The comparison always makes me laugh.

>>16971338
I have a 2001 Monte Carlo. It's a dreadful car. It's cheaply made, the electrics are trash, it's somehow trying to be yet simultaneously failing to be a sports luxury daily driver, full size coupe. It's ugly too.

>>16981726
>t. ford

Metric, standard, hex and torx all on the same damn car.

>>16972918
>speed is locked to 5mph max when driver's seatbelt isn't on

honestly surprised this isn't a thing

>>16970972
27mm lugbolts

>>16980290
>Heater core buried so deep in chassis only an ASE certified dwarf can squeeze inside to remove it
>After hours of faintly-heard banging and swearing he emerges with a thousand-yard stare

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>>16970972
>spend years designing a new platform
>give it insane handling capabilities
>tons of useable horsepower
>affordable price tag for supercar performance
>Then give it 2 radiators that can't cool 1/2 the engine's performance

>and then design a Camaro Zl1 with all the handling and acceleration with 11 heat exchangers for $20K less.

>>16981831
Ive seen it on damn nearly anything and everything.

>>16971225
Alfa 4c

>>16970972
>Be a modern car manufacturer

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>Build gearbox with faulty 1st gear
>Don't sell replacement parts
>Force the owner to buy a whole gearbox just because you don't want to sell some cogs.

Wait - someone already did that.

>>16971490
The office chair thing made me laugh. Does it also not raise back up while you are sitting in it meaning you have to physically get out of the car to adjust it but then won't lower unless you sit in it?

>>16973192
Is this Honda?

>>16973835
It makes it look like an ayy lamo

>>16971225
...are you insinuating that the ND miata is automatic only? Because that's false.

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>>16972405
Omfg youre so dumb. Theres an easy as fuck fix for this.

Former Toyota tech here. Just cut a bottle in half, cut a piece of metal clothes hanger, like hole in bottle, put hanger through hole, clamp, make a hook on the other end. You literally have a hanging drain bucket.

Jesus you are the most unimaginative, dim-witted, pants-on-head retarded fuck I've ever seen. This was my favorite truck to work on because it was such a simple oil change and space for days in the engine bay.

Please never reproduce.


Tl;dr: don't make fun of Tacoma's. They're great.

>Bonnet is locked shut except by cryptographically signed certificate sent over diagnostic port at official dealerships, car receives revocation lists via passive undocumented radio update to deal with stolen diagnostic tools
>Cut a deal with major fuel distributor that all cars must use fuel brand X and fuel cap won't open unless it detects a correctly signed cert over zigbee or some other short range protocol when at the authorised service station

>>16973762
5'8''.

>>16972629
Pre-1995 it was doable

>>16974979
I'm having anger issues just looking at that picture