>open up fuse box to change a fuse >it's full of water

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>unscrew drain plug for an oil change
>gatorade comes out

>put it in d
>car decides to r

>>16814717
topkek almost spilled my drink

>>16814717
>its got what cars crave

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>open hood of rx7
>doritos fall out

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>changing air filter in my tacoma
>IT'S COVERED IN CRUSHED TACOS

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>>16814691
>turn steering wheel all the way to the right
>car makes a high pitched whining noise
>noise doesn't go away

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>go to roll down driver's side window
>trunk opens

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>turn key
>smoke pours out of engine bay

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>>16814691
>open up hood on 240sx after letting it sit for months

>hood mat was a home for rat(s) that decided to chewed it and fucked it up like the niggers they are

>mfw pod filter is perfectly fine and wiring is ok for a 27 year old shitbox

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>>16814717
>tfw u never thought it'd happen 2 u

>>16815103
That's your timing lanyard

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>change still functional battery because of old age
>new battery installed
>car no longer starts

>>16815140
Fuck. I'm getting thirsty

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>>16815103
>turn steering wheel all the way to the right
>wheels turn left

>>16815145
Fiat?

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>install new turbo whistle on my exhaust
>200bhp increase

>>16814944
bronto

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>>16814691
>Turn key
>Car wont turn off

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>Push breaks
>No pressure
>Pedal slams straight to the floor

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>>16815824
>push brakes
>car goes faster

>insert key into door and turn to unlock
>alarm goes off

why do modern cars do this? 2013 Rubicon btw

>>16815824
>breaks
It's brAKEs, you illiterate mouthbreather.

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>>16814691
>open fuse box
>there are no fuses
>everything on the car still works somehow

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>torquing head studs down
>*CRACK*

>>16816417
You fucking dumb ass

>>16816421
None of them snapped but it was scary shit

>about to lube up supercharger
>crack my coal generator
music for this feel?

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>>16816457
I feel you, mate.
First time poking around under the skirts, I was changing the crank and kept slowly (SLOWLY) putting more pressure on socket to undo one.
>CRACK
I almost dropped the fucking wrench.

>>16815140
>>16814717
I don't get it, is this supposed to be coolant?

>>16816471
They were China specials too. Just dunked them in oil. They cracked a little on the second pass then cracked really hard on the third, I couldn't tell if it was the studs cracking or the wrench clicking

>can't be scared racing, can't be intimidated by the Chinese

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>>16815103
>>16815119
>brake
>boot opens

>>16816050
This is how every oem security system works. If it didn't do this the system wouldn't prevent unauthorized entry at all.

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>hit boost
>clutch in to change gears
>engine dies

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>drive car to cafe
>starts pouring
>get in car
>lose battery terminal

>>16815145
That's what you get for throwing away a good battery

>car keeps blowing the phone charger socket fuse

reeeee

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>>16814691
>open fuse box
>see pic related

>push turn signal lever down to signal left
>wont come back up
>signalling left for miles until i get home

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>>16816055
>Worrying about grammar on a taiwanese call center forum.

>>16815140
what the fuck

maybe a blown up head gasket let the coolant get in there?

>push engine start button
>it vanishes into the dash

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>turn key
>it keeps turning round and doesn't do anything

>>16818492
Noice

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>take right turn
>oil pressure dips to 0 and check gauges light comes on

>take sharp right turn
>THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD

>take off from stop
>Rear axle shakes a bit

>>16817004
I assume it's only that way for cars over a certain year then? The jeep was my parent's, I've never had my car do that to me

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>pull a u turn in traffic
>just barely unable to clear it
>put car in reverse and back up slightly
>car is now stuck in reverse for 2 minutes due to uneven pavement and worn mounts

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>>16814725
>put it in H
>doesnt get three hundred hectares on a single tank of kerosene

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>have your headlamp height adjusted
>melt the wiring

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>go outside
>taillight full of water
FUCKING GODDAMN CHEVY ITS ONLY A 4 YEAR OLD CAR, EVEN MY GODDAMN 1990 TRUCK DOESNT HAVE WATER IN THE TAILLIGHTS

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>fill up fuel tank on old yugoslavian tractor
>tank empty
>oil level now somehow on top of the dipstick

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>on hill at night
>roll backwards a little
>all dash lights come on and voltmeter is buried at 18v

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>2 o'clock afternoon rush hour
>car dies at the beginning of the intersection
>wont even crank anymore

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>have car repaired because dead alternator
>have 150km trip coming up
>"I'm sorry sir, but your parts will take a bit longer to be delivered"

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>park over deep snow
>car leaves yellow spot

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>go uphill
>oil light flashes

>>16816457
Studs don't get torqued themselves

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>Driving along in the cold
>Heater fan quits working
>Driving in the fog
>Fog lights stop working

>Just a dirty fuse connector

>turn on radio
>tune to bbc radio 2 in time for dr mosh
>heater goes on full blast
>car stuck in reverse
>manual transmission

>the car is a yellow
>in the car a
>reverse onto parking gallery
>the car also remains is a yellow

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>>16819369

>roll up electric windows
>headlights go off

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>step on imaginary clutch in an automatic
>starts anyway

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>shift to reverse
>car stalls

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>>16819369

>>16819369
Huh?

>>16815293
I fucking love sluggy

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>>16821693
she's cute. i just into rv

>>16815145
You're supposed to take the plastic caps off the posts dumbass.

>>16821752
>she is cute
>she

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>car sitting idle while running
>start hearing knocking sound in the engine
>car starts shaking and feels like it's going to stall

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>car hasnt been run in a week or so
>have bonnet open
>start engine
>0 ticking

>>16816050
>why do modern cars do this?
It doesn't know the difference between the lock getting picked open, the door lock being opened with a tool, or the lock getting punched out. So it sounds the alarm after 30 seconds unless the ignition is started successfully.

It doesn't do that if you open with fob because it's assumed only someone legit has the fob. So, if you use your key to physically open the door, you have 30 seconds to start the car or use the fob to command the door open. If you don't do either, the alarm goes off on my GM car.

My GM car has timers too as a check for parking lot mishaps. I parked the car in a line for an oil change and went inside to wait. After awhile, the tech came out to open the hood to check the oil cap for which oil to get. The alarm started since the car had been parked, so it assumed I walked away from it in the parking lot. When the hood was opened, it sensed that and sounded the alarm. I pressed my fob key and the alarm stopped. Evidently, the fob_sensor range is much shorter than the transmission distance of the signal when I push a button.

>>16815145
In my car, you have to go through the process to re-synchronize the security system and computer to all the other electronic subsystems. It's part of car security. Otherwise, the immobilizer remains enabled and the car radio remains locked out.

>>16819040
>"I'm sorry sir, but your parts will take a bit longer to be delivered"
When evaluating the service time before signing, the local shops always tell me it won't take long to get parts even if they know it takes them much longer. They don't want me going to some other shop. So they tell their "white lie" to retain business.

>>16814707
What the FUCK? I also saw a pepe with a yellow arrow. What the actual fuck is this CIA tactic about?

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>turn ignition
>check engine flashes

>>16816081
>tfw all your fuze slots are for spares because your car is so acient it has next to no wiring

>>16819258
>tfw don't have foglights on my shitbox

>>16818556
No, some people are stupid enough to put coolant instead of oil into their engine. I've seen it once before, working at a quick lube place. Middle aged asian guy in a honda minivan managed to lose his oil cap, covered it with tin foil, and when I checked the dipstick it was neon green. Manager told me to stay the FUCK away from that, basically had to tell the guy good luck and fuck off

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>turn key
>engine light flashes
>door makes bong but door is closed
>car starts, runs fine

sry if bad engilsh

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>go to turn left at intersection
>car stalls

(it was just me hitting the key with my knee, i was fucking spooked for a minute though.

>>16818973
tractor? are you digging a mass grave for bosnians or something?

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>>16818476
>Leave car charger plugged in
>come back, car battery dead

>>16823723
>not doing your own oil

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>>16814691
>Turn heat on
> Strong Gas Smell

>break hard for orange light
>wiper fluid light goes on
>glove box opens

>>16823811
BMW?

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>take the exit on the highway for home
>engine shits itself and dies in the middle of the exit

>cold start
>engine heats to normal temp
>glowplug light
>engine cools to half normal temp
>glowplug light turns off
>engine heats to normal temp
>glowplug light
>repeat until destination reached

>hill parking
>forget to shift out of gear before starting car
>slam clutch to prevent stall as it lurches forwards
>rear left passenger door locks and unlocks

I HAVE NO IDEA

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>turn wipers on
>they dont turn off

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>Turn on wipers
>Wipers stuck under hood

>>16814691
>fix a brake line, 10 min job
>about to press the air out of the brake system
>screw just clips away, like in vydia
>caliper is junk
>saturday evening

>replace handbrake brackets
>mounted on brake cover like drum brakes
>brake cover crumbles away when touched
>nowhere to mount handbrake brackets
>to replace brake covers need to undo and mount new bearrings
>10$ quick fix turned into 300$ job

>change rear exhaust because rusty af
>try to get it loose
>mid section crumbles away
>cheap ching chong replacement
>rusts while being installed
>lasts like 5 seconds
>got a full stainless exhaust system in the end

fuck that cheap ching chong shit.

>>16824508
>not doing your own oil
That would mean I can only do one thing which is changing the oil. It's better for me to both change my oil and get shopping done at the same time.

It's next door to Costco, so I do my shopping at Costco while the oil change is going on. By the time I wheel the cart out, the car is done and parked. I use the spare key to open up the car and load items from the cart and return the cart. I then amble into the oil/filter change shop and pay for it. I made use of all my time doing something else at the same time as changing the oil and getting dirty.

>>16824977
I wouldn't trust a shop to do my oil. You never know if they will put enough, and they almost never drain it when it's hot enough. Last time I got an emergency oil change, they changed it after it had cooled down and only 2.5 liters came out and got changed.

Plus they will always over torque the drain plug. Do you want to risk needing to buy a new oil pan because Matt McAirgun was too lazy to spend 15 seconds with a ratchet?

You sound like a bit of a cuck. I don't even let anyone pump my gas even though full service is mandatory in my city (too many mainland Chinese immigrants who don't know how to pump gas-a picture surfaced this week of an x3 driving away with the nozzle and hose in the tank). I wouldn't trust a kid making minimum wage to touch my car because I love my car.

>>16818941
But at least it gets forty rods to the hogshead.

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>switch into R
>accelerate
>car goes REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE