tales from the dealership

>>16565932
Yeah ok. I'll read the rest of it.

>>16565932
>break it to our salesman and his customer that his ghetto cayenne isn’t actually on the lot, we sent it up for auction a few days ago, but we can arrange to bring it back if he’s interested
>however, as luck would have it we just got another cayenne yesterday
>now this one looks much cleaner than the one we sent to auction, but it has frame damage in the history
>never the less, the guy is interested because we would also like to be rid of this shitheap and would let it go for $8500 as-is
>he takes it on a test drive, it drives smooth enough
>obviously needs his daughter’s approval
>calls her up, tells her to come have a look
>she rolls up with her boyfriend, now I understand why she was interested in the ghetto-cayenne
>Stacey and Jamal climb out of Jamal’s clapped out 3-series, blacked out lights, fenders scraping wheels, muffler cut off etc
>she looks the cayenne up and down, says it’s unacceptable
>”dad, this car is beige! I’m going to look like a grandma driving this, and the rims are too small!”
>dad looks defeated, lets out a big sigh
>Jamal steps in “well babygurl, we can just plastidip it matte black like the kardashians do, it’ll look sick. One of my boyz could even hook you up with some rimz.”
>She gives him a hug, “aww Jamal you’re so smart you think of everything”
>Dad rolls his eyes, “well are we taking it then or what?”
>she wants to see the one with the nigger tier ghetto rims first before she makes a decision

>>16565946
>now I have to send a driver up to fetch this thing just to show the car for this cuntscab
>fuck it I’m not wasting our resources like this on a garbage deal like this we have bigger fish to fry
>”let me call the auction house and see where the cayenne is at and if it’s available”
>pretend to go into office and make a call, actually just explain the story to our receptionist and laugh about it
>go back to them, “sorry turns out it actually sold this morning, so where do we stand on the frame-damage special?”
>”fine I GUESS I’ll take it, but dad you’re paying for the plastidip and rims”
>dad reluctantly agrees just to make her happy and not throw a shitfit in our multimillion dollar showroom
>we sell the frame damage special to her, and the nignogged cayenne sells a few days later at auction
>two shitheaps out of our lives

That's all I got for now, just gauging interested. If you guys want to hear more I'll post more, but if not no worries I'll go back to lurking.

Any feedback is appreciated

>>16565956
People doing stupid shit is always good for a laugh. Keep crackin'.
By the way, does anyone know if we ever got that LPG christmas special he promised?

>>16565932
>>16565946
>>16565956
kek
moar.

>>16565956
Aw, that felt like it was leading up to something much more cringeworthy than what actually happened. Bit of an anticlimax.

Congrats on getting rid of two nig'd out VWs though, and your writing's fine. The lead-up had me cringing and eye-rolling a good bit.

>>16565932
yesssssssss

>>16565956
>>16565946
>>16565932
more

>>16565946
im so glad i don't live in fucking america
that is one dad cucked by his kid tho.
t. someone whos getting a new 2 seater mid engined sportscar from his dad for a gift

>>16565968
>>16565974
>>16565991
>>16565994
thanks! I'll definitely work on this stuff more if you guys like it, I'll admit this story wasn't the craziest but it happened fairly recently so I remembered more details about it.

Maybe I'll keep more shitboxes to get stories out of them lol

>>16565932
>a very high end dealership
Do you get a lot of nigger-rich customers?

>>16566005
Spoilers: this is in Canada

>>16565932
mfw /o/ suddenly just got a whole lot comfier

>>16565956
That's pretty decent OP. Write some more.

>>16566011
this could be fire, but it didn't fix my LPG need
>needs
*Details; describe the people more, you could have easily padded this out to 4 posts with better descriptions of the players especially dad and grill, tyrone kinda writes himself
i want to know the anguish of the boomer/gen-x dad in detail;
is he sleepy b/c his coke ran out while he saved up to buy that bitch's poorsche? or did he look defeated b/c his daughter loves tyrones BBC and he can't do nuffin?
what was grill like besides self-centered/bbc-centered? was she hamplanet or 8/10?
you can take a little artistic license with the descriptions
>the sauce is in the little details even if they're just your opinion, MARY!

Good goy compliments:
*great job describing vehicles
*great job defining your role in this fiasco
*good use of narrative style
9/10 GREAT FIRST EFFORT
>need to keep more shitboxes
indeed

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a couple anons here know me IRL (one just made a trip for me lol) but just so you guys don't think I'm full of shit

>>16566090
thanks for the feedback!

I might have a bonus story for you guys, stay tuned

Good job OP!

>>16565956
Are dads cucks this often? I'd tell my daughter to fuck off if she talked to me that way. (I mean if I had one)

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>be lube monkey
>this rolls in
>laugh my ass off and snap pic
>BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE
>my little pony hanging from rear toe hook
>everything that could possibly be leaking is
>suspension is FUCKED
>the guy wants to actually come unto the shop and look at it while it's on the lift
>he actually has the balls to show his fucking face in here with a pond on his car and loli stickers everywhere
>I can barely contain both my laughter and my excitement
>moment of truth arrives
>everything you've ever thought a brony /a/utist would look like
>horrible baggy rags for clothes
>vacant stare
>balding at the ripe old age of 23
>wanders over and mumbles something about "shitty AutoZone bearings"
>walks off


I love my job

How did you get a job at a dealership OP? I've been wanting to sell cars for awhile now.

>>16566222
I got a job offer doing new car sales working cashier at a Taco bell

Was starting at another dealership that week though

Just go in, apply, and act like a salesman.

>>16566222
Careful, selling cars is one of those things that sounds exciting but can easily become tedious and absolutely depression-tier.

>>16566228
Same for tech positions

>>16566227
So I don't need to go through years of college to do it? Guess I'll look for a job to get experience as a salesman.

>>16566228
>>16566230
Noted. Thanks senpai.

>>16566232
Nah man, most sales people are retarded as fuck. They're just good at the bantz.

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What is your favorite high end car?

What are bentleys like?

What german car would you recommend?

What else do you like in the fancy car world?

>>16565956
My god man, Who brings these children up?

>>16566222
I started as a detailer

>>16566250
fav high end car? Definitely like my Porsches, other supercars can be fun but a Porsche is the only one I'd actually own

Bentleys are very comfortable (that's obvious enough though), surprisingly very easy to drive for how big they are.

German car I'd reccomend? Depends on what you're looking for. Sporty daily? Porsche 911. Maximum Comfy? Mercedes-Benz S-Class.

What else do I like in the fancy car world? I actually like meeting the owners, the type of people who are into high end cars and can afford them are infinitely more interesting to talk to than some vapelord at a car meet

>>16566291
Would you ever go to a /o/ meetup? I'm a wealthy guy and this is going to sound terrible, but I'd feel shy about showing up in a nice car at a meet with a bunch of shitboxes. Nothing against shitboxes but I'd just feel out of place.

BONUS STORY TIME!

>it’s a late evening at the dealership, we’re a couple hours from closing when this sketchbag comes strolling in
>he looks to be some flavor of pajeet trying to act like a gangster
>not all that strange, being a high end dealership we attract a lot of dreamers and looky-loos
>except this guy is decked out in head to toe designer clothing, I wanted to call him 2chainz but he was actually wearing 3, so from now on he is referred to as 3chainz
>3chainz says he’s interested in the Bentley Brooklands we have for sale
>herewefuckinggo.mp3
>this is wear chucklefucks like him get their greasy paws on all the buttons and gadgets, get the floormats dirty, nitpick the paint etc
>he is actually pretty polite for looking like such a shithead and talking like he’s stuck in the “G-UNIT” phase from gradeschool
>”bro this is a sick whip, I wanna leave a deposit with you right now”
>really.jpg
>humor him for a bit, “yeah sure thing bud let me get the paperwork together”
>he goes out to his car to get his “deposit”
>I just want to go home, feel like I’m completely wasting my evening (I don’t even normally do sales, it’s just that it was late and most of our sales team were busy or went home)
>3chainz comes back with a fucking briefcase with 20 grand IN FUCKING CASH
>at this point I’m stunned, I don’t know what to say
>he’s standing there with a shit-eating grin
>I tell him I gotta talk with the upper management, we don’t normally take a cash deposit at all let alone an amount that large
>I go to the owner’s office and ask him what to do
>he built his empire from the ground up, real humble guy, lot of life experience
>he knows exactly what’s going on

>>16566315
lol I go to many actually, but I'm not rich and I drive a really average car

I work around nice cars but by no means could I afford any of the shit we're selling. Especially since I have to pay for tuition (like LPG was, I'm also in school) and I'm saving to buy a house

>>16566318
>he explains to me, “Anon you gotta watch out for these guys, yeah sometimes these guys are hoodrich but the other half they’re criminals trying to wash their dirty money”
>apparently what they do is they bring in their cash they have acquired through illegal means, put the deposit down
>then they say they changed their mind, want their deposit back so we write them a cheque and they ride off into the sunset
>but the owner has a plan
>he walks out to 3chainz with me with a big smile on his face
>”certainly sir, we’ll gladly accept your deposit”
>3chainz is all smiles and handshakes, leaves the dealership about half an hour before we close.
>after he leaves, the owner takes his cash deposit, hides it in the trunk of the Bentley. Puts a cover over it, locks the car and takes all the keys home with him.
>few days later of course 3chainz comes back
>wants his deposit back, says he reconsidered and found another car he likes better
>no problem
>now it’s the owner’s turn to wear the shit eating grin 3chainz had a few days prior
>he goes to the Bentley, opens the trunk and hand him back his cash.
>”you’ll be glad to find the money is all there sir, please count it if you’d like”
>3chainz is visibly furious, but knows we caught on to his scheme
>tries to throw a chimp out, calls us unprofessional for storing his deposit in the fucking trunk
>owner and I are standing there victorious, and now that our business is concluded I proceed to walk him out
>he calls us thugs, says he’ll report us, all sorts of BS
>gets into his Acura, drives off furiously unleashing 150hp TO THE FRONT WHEELS (only place the power should ever be)
>we make a note of his plates, tell the police what happened
>everyone has a laugh at lunch about it the next day

I'm probably forgetting a few details because this happened a long time ago but we still laugh about it to this day

>>16566318
Dammit type it out THEN post!

>>16566364
The bent Brooklands is a slow piece of shit...i can smoke the fuck out of this in my 1994 EG hatch with a couple of simple mods:
10 point cage with Parachute
3 piece discontinued JoJo frontend
spec-R full drag suspension
Fuel cell with -8 lines from tank to motor
1 044 bosch pump
1200 rc injectors
golden eagle sleeved block
cp 10:1 pistons
Eagle rods
arp headstuds
oem h22 headgasket
Balance shaft delete
competition clutch twin disc
Port and polished head
skunk2 valve springs and retainers
Str cam gears
crower stage 1 cams
aluminium radiator with slim fan
gsr transmission with itr lsd.
qsd h2k intake manifold adapter
k20 rbc manifold
qsd throttle body spacer
blox 70mm throttle body
4bar omni map sensor
6al msd with coil and cap. 3 step launch control
hks bov
Garret 102mm turbocharger.
Custom t4 front facing turbo manifold with 44mm flange
44mm tial wastegate
Custom water to air intercooler set up
aem eugo wideband w/ gauge
tuned on chipped p28
13 inch volks drag rims
2 15 inch volks rear rims
arp extended wheel studs
si cluster
150 shots of nitrous im making 348 horsepower to the FRONT WHEELS because thats the only place the power should ever be

>>16566318
>>16566364
>>gets into his Acura, drives off furiously unleashing 150hp TO THE FRONT WHEELS (only place the power should ever be)
Hearty kek, that's how you do a tale from the dealership.
You may not be LPG, but I sure as hell hope you'll make more threads like this in the future to distract from the constant shitposting.

>>16566291
thats a really interesting perspective. I work in corporate governance compliance (strange but can be good money) and I really like meeting executives and finding out what they drive.

CEO doesn't own a car, just takes UBER
president has alpina BMW and 911 GT3
sales manager has audi s6
strategy guy has audi Q7 sport of whatever the S is
another has tesla, and one more has a jeep wrangler.

very interesting

>>16566216
I was a lube monkey and had this exact experience a few times over with different people/cars.

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What cars are the biggest waste of money? Or at least over rated? What are common misconception about owning a high end car or driving it around? How do people react to them in general? Do rich people pay on time?

Not bad anon, you'll be a long post guy yet.

Reminder that a collection of TFTD can be found at
http://82.199.155.15/pdf/Tales%20From%20The%20Dealership.pdf

>>16566401
biggest waste of money is a hard one to answer, because some cars that I view as a gigantic pain in the ass like the Maserati Quattroporte could be worth it to someone who can deal with the high cost of maintenance and horrendous reliability

Overrated...definitely Lexus/Acura. They're really boring, and their new design language sucks.

Common misconception about owning a high end car...is that people give a shit. No one really cares, lesson learned is buy a car you enjoy.

And yes generally rich people tend to be on time with most things, you don't get rich and stay rich by perpetuating shitty habits like constantly being late. There are exceptions of course

>>16566607
>Common misconception about owning a high end car...is that people give a shit. No one really cares, lesson learned is buy a car you enjoy.
Biggest misconception about high end cars is that broads will give a shit. High end sports cars attract attention from a bunch of dudes.

>>16566401
why is this image so stressful to look at

RACISTS NEVER LAST LONG IN YOUR INDUSTRY

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Obligatory fucking L P G

>>16565932
Do post more tales.

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>>16566214
>Are dads cucks this often? I'd tell my daughter to fuck off if she talked to me that way. (I mean if I had one)

Here's a cucked-dad story similar to OP only this girl was very status conscious and had no sense of money. It sucks that so many people used TV shows like Keeping Up With The Kardashians as a lifestyle guide.

https://archive.4plebs.org/o/thread/14228818/#q14228818

you are welcome

http://82.199.155.15/pdf/Tales%20From%20The%20Dealership.pdf

>>16566793
Was already posted here: >>16566597

>>16566784
Were they posted? If so, I'll add them to the PDF.

>>16566784
did this happen? screencap? archive?

>>16566799
If he did, I can't find them.
Searched longpost in archive and that was top 3 latest posts.

>>16565932
Great writing style, perfect descriptions. I could almost smell the afro sheen from Jamal.

I'll share an old one I may have shared before.

>Working at a small family-owned lot.
>We buy auction vehicles, repair them, and resell them.
>All new vehicles get their faults written on the windshield in marker and parked in a fenced-in paddock.
>A 400 LB black (of COURSE she's black...) hambeast walks onto the lot.
>Having not become fully racist yet, I ask her if she's interested in a car. She says she wants the red carpet.
WTF.exe
>I don't know of a red car on the lot; suspect it's a customer's car. I ask her to show it to me.
>I'm hearing tuba music in my head as she waddles to the back of the lot. Red car is in the paddock.
>Windshield says "NO BRAKES!"
>I reply that I'm sorry, but that car isn't for sale, as it has no braked.
I know it's got no brakes. That's why I wants it.
>My brain feels like a transmission shifting from 5th to reverse while speeding down the highway.
>Ma'am, it won't stop.
Dats good. I wants it to run and not stop.
>Ma'am, I can't sell you a car with no brakes.

*Defcon-1 Chimpout Ensues"

YOU JUST WON'T SELL IT TO ME BECAUSE I'M BLACK! YOU A RAYCIS CRACKA!

>My boss hears the commotion and comes over to check it out.
>I step aside and tell him that she's crazy. He proceeds to call the police.
>Boss: What seems to be the problem?
This raycisss cracker won't sell me a car!
>Boss: It's unacceptable that any employee of mine wouldn't sell a car. Which vehicle do you want?
I want the red carpet!
>Boss: red car?
>Me: The one with no brakes.
Boss: wtf.jpg
Das right!
>Boss: I cannot sell a car with no brakes.
You a rayciss too! Fuck all you white people!

*Resume Chimpout*

>Thankfully, the police came and that hambeast sprinted to the best of her abilities.

>>16566849
>You a rayciss too! Fuck all you white people!

I'm sure the irony was lost on her

>>16566787
man I really miss LPG's writing style, he could really make his stories come to life

How can I get a lower price at private dealerships that are too lazy to remove a car from the showroom and let me test drive? They do not seem to want to make money and sell cars.

>>16566875
I think you'll get better with time. Keep it up man

>>16566902
They don't want to waste time on mentally ill people with no money.

>>16565932

Saying nigger and pajeet doesnt make you funny, it makes you look like a teenager who thinks he's cool. You faggots need to drop this "I'm online so i'm gonna be a cool guy" bullshit 0/10 story as you can't speak properly

>>16567026
new to 4chin i see

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>>16567026

>>16567026
Proud melanin-enriched individual detected.

>>16567026
It's not supposed to be funny, it's efficient communication.

>>16567026
oh you

>>16567034

Nope, just think its retarded. oldfag who never heard brats saying nigger until the last 5 years or so, and of course it's it's on this shit Korean puppet site..

>>16567051
>ableist slurs

MODS!!!!

>>16567051
05 vintage oldfag here, you're so full of shit someone needs to fucking flush

>>16567051
>oldfag who never heard brats saying nigger until the last 5 years or so

What an inefficient way to say
>liar

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>>16567026
look everyone, its a newfag
kys nigger

>>16566997

I've got money though.

>>16566712

>Typical BMW driver not looking where the fuck he's going.

>>16567026
eat shit niggerfaggot

>>16566629
THIS. lmao my friend bought a corvette to get girls and literally only has guys at the gym talk to him. top fucking kek

>>16567421
he persuaded the road to his liking

>>16566875
Practice makes perfect. Who knows, maybe someone else posting stories will summon him and we'll get that christmas package he promised.

>>16565932
>>16565946
>>16565956
>>16566137
A new LPG rises?
YES! I loved the stories. The keks helped me sleep many a night.

>>16566214
Yes. There is the stereotype of "daddy's girl" for a reason.

>>16566262
Parents who were taught that you shouldn't spank or deny your children anything.

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>>16567026

>>16565932
Pls continue to do this, you're breddy good

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>>16566318
>I wanted to call him 2chainz but he was actually wearing 3, so from now on he is referred to as 3chainz

>>16567693
haha glad you liked them
>>16567724
thanks

just got home from work, I'll use the weekend to think of any other tasty stories that happened

>>16566364
>>tries to throw a chimp out
Muh sides

Gr8 stories based new LPG, can't w8 for moar!

>>16565946
>that dialogue
This never happened, but good story nonetheless. You don't have to embellish the dialogue to match perceptions, OP. I doubt she threw out that sitcom-tier line "you think of everything."

Still niggers are terrible.

>>16568113
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>16568122
This isn't /b/. You have to go back.

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>>16565932
OMG youre still alive.

>>16568125
Do you really think people won't make up shit on other parts of 4chan?

>>16568150
You really think someone would do that?

>>16568151
Where do you think you are?

>>16566364
>gets into his Acura, drives off furiously unleashing 150hp TO THE FRONT WHEELS
fuggin kek great story anon 9/10

>>16566629
Why don't queers start buying high end cars?

>>16568420
because they can't afford it 90% of the time.
There are no workplace anti-discrimination laws based on sexual orientation. It is perfectly legal to fire someone because you found out they were gay.

>>16568439
>It is perfectly legal to fire someone because you found out they were gay.
You're a retard if you think this happens. If there were a bunch of unemployed but talented queers in business, don't you think someone would hire them at a below market rate to save on payroll?

>>16568448
>don't you think someone would hire them at a below market rate to save on payroll?
There's also the fact that gays in general tend to avoid STEM jobs and that's where the big money is.
I have no doubt people would hire them at below market value. But the pool is small enough as it is.

>>16568439
>There are no workplace anti-discrimination laws based on sexual orientation. It is perfectly legal to fire someone because you found out they were gay.
Do you live in Uganda?

>>16568477
I think they just avoid the best jobs in general. They're mostly in marketing, art, film, etc. There are a few queers coming up in finance that I can see at the firm I work at. But they're like the first.

Still, you're much more likely to see them in a prius or tesla.

>>16568478
>Do you live in Uganda?
United States. We have equal marriage (for now) but no workplace protections. What workplace protections there are depends on the state because there are no federal protections.

>>16568489
America really is a 3rd world country

>>16565932
Your use of casual racism really detracts from the story. And makes you seem less professional.
Also the story really sounds kinda fake and tailored to the board's culture.
If you're going to improve your storytelling, try veering away from just fitting in with your fellow anons. You'll have more long term sustainability when creating OC in this way. As your stories won't become dated.
While lpg did occasionally make racist statements in his stories, usually it was only when the characters were outlandishly stereotypical.
Your characters in the story were pretty generic and notably tailored to the /pol/ cross-poster's tastes.

It doesn't truly matter if your stories are true if they're not believable, OP.

>>16568554
plebbit pls go

>>16568554
Fuck off you fucking nigger. Slavery needs a comeback

>>16568563
You're gonna pay for the wall, americuck. If it ever happens.
(Protip: it won't)

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>>16568554
>tailored to the board's culture.

Thats the point, nigger.

>>16568597
>On the way to the wall
/o/ marathon race to the Trump wall soon.

>>16568597
And board culture is some of the worst cringe tier garbage. Making references to current board culture in your posts also dates them, and when old memes fall to the wayside, people will bury your content.
And you, with a character to maintain, will be tied to the board culture you're mostly associated with.
From a content creation perspective, it's the weakest way to create lulz for your anon audience. It's memes in vidya tier.

>>16568659
You sound like a fedora tipper from /co/ that critiques green text fan fiction of Elsa raping her sister in a sex dungeon

>>16568712
I've just been around long enough to see many memes rise and fall. We're already seeing the beginning of the fall of the racism meme. It had a good run. But let's be honest, it leaked onto rebbit and tumblr. It's time to find new memes.

>>16566262
>My god man, Who brings these children up?
TV shows like "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" and their school friends who watch the same shows. Media shows feature people with a lot of extravagance, so they grow up with that and resent any demands made upon them.

I've seen plenty of bad kids on the wayside. They're just working survival jobs and learning that they wasted their headstart in life and now have "hard mode" as they try to educate themselves after high school.

>>16568724
>racism is a meme
>I've been around long enough to see many memes rise and fall.

>>>/reddit/

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>>16566250
>What is your favorite high end car?
Ferrari F12berlinetta

>What are bentleys like?
Like driving an Audi A8 "coupe"

>What german car would you recommend?
BMW M2, Mercedes Benz AMG GT S, Ford Focus RS

>What else do you like in the fancy car world?
comfy interiors (pic related)

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>>16568554
>>16568659
>dibs Bedora

kys normie

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>>16568986
>defending board culture and memes

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>>16569025
>saying you hate memes by posting a meme

You are "I hate fun" the post.

>>16568420
Because gay men are essentially chicks with dicks. Hence, only straight men will take an interest in their cars.

>>16566364
You have good stories.
You are a good story teller.
Keep telling stories.

>>16566137
fuck me that's some shitty ass fucking paint on that Bentley. So you work with used cars? Or just not enough money in your dealership to keep them clean?

>>16569405
I don't see any paint in that pic, except the enamel on the badge.

>>16569405
>paint

>>16565932
>>16565946
>>16565956
>>16566318

Get yourself a new name, but dude you could be what we need. LPG was a god, and I hope he gives his blessing.

I think your high end perspective will add a new flavor and make it your own.

Agree with that anon that said more detail if only to make it last a bit longer as sate my hunger, but otherwise you're fantastic.

Maybe you can make your name somehow high end related, like something out of that classic thread that originated the Punani Tsunami and the Konniggobongo.

Hope to see more from you, thanks for the keks.

>>16569525
What happened with LPG anyways?

>>16569536
Quit his job at the dealershit, went into IT and then more or less disappeared.

>>16569536
Quit his job so no more stories.

>>16569545
Cant blame him. His job sounded like shit.

>>16566629
Life would be so much easier if I was a faggot.

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Didn't LPG say he was gonna post a end of the year special? Stories he couldnt post while he was emplyed at his old job?

>>16569632

see
>>16566784

>>16569031
and that means you are le ebin 9gagger or one of those newfags who came here thinking a forum where everyone pretends to be autistic for shits and giggles actually accepts you, the autistic NEET benchracer.
Kill yourself, 4chan is not a meme safe zone.

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>>16567026

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>>16569770
>4chan is not a meme safe zone

Dude, what?

got any screens of lpg storytelling?

>>16570305
http://82.199.155.15/pdf/Tales%20From%20The%20Dealership.pdf

You're welcome.

>>16570328
big thanks man!

>>16567055
7 jars of peanut butter, anyone?

>>16566380
>i can smoke the fuck out of this in my 1994 EG hatch with a couple of simple mods:
>Simple mods
>Pretty much rebuilding the entire car

>>16570718
Thanks for explaining that for us

>>16570718

>not recognizing shitposts

h22 headgasket and k20 intake give it away.

>>16568491
>>16568489
>>16568439
Ummmm....

"The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) is responsible for enforcing federal laws that make it illegal to discriminate against a job applicant or an employee because of the person's race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy, gender identity, and sexual orientation), national origin, age (40 or older), disability or genetic information. It is also illegal to discriminate against a person because the person complained about discrimination, filed a charge of discrimination, or participated in an employment discrimination investigation or lawsuit.

Most employers with at least 15 employees are covered by EEOC laws (20 employees in age discrimination cases). Most labor unions and employment agencies are also covered.

The laws apply to all types of work situations, including hiring, firing, promotions, harassment, training, wages, and benefits."

>>16570761
Yeah, no problem, bro.

>>16570773
The wall of text gave it away.

>buying your daughter a car, new or used, after she just totaled a new car

you give her pepper spray and send her on her way on the bus

>>16568583
We paid for Israels wall we can afford our own

>>16565956
I like it simple funny and consice

>>16570799
Milennials will believe the others anyways

>that law was made by white dudes maaan and all the courts are white males maaaan they'd never enforce it maaan
>the entire world hates anyone that isn't a straight white male maaaan so if a fag went to the media over it they would get zero sympathy maaan
>fags have it so hard maaan

>>16568420
I see a lot of fags in decent cars. Even if they only make $40k/yr, they will be in a new 128i or ND or something.

Think about it- they share an apartment with their boyfriend. They both work so rent is cheap. No girlfriend to waste excessive money on and no kids.

On the other hand a lot of them are drug addicts and meth isn't cheap.

>>16571125
>Bepis
you fuck. lol.

>>16570916
The funny thing is every gay person I know has it pretty together.

Granted it's just the one, and two that are, idk, married. The gay couple makes like $151k a year before taxes.

>>16566137
What part of the country are you based?

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>when the air hose blows out right next to your face while torquing down lug nuts

chek this fucker
http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2017/01/tales-dealership-mister-deep-pockets/

LPG confirmed Jack Baruth

>>16571342
That's what you get for using a fucking impact wrench for lug nuts.

http://archive.4plebs.org/o/search/tripcode/!!9TEWI1TbGdH

>>16570718
you must be new here! welcome!

>>16565956
You have brightened my day, story bro.
Please shower us with tales!

>>16571350
what in the fuck did i just read.

some hunter s thompson wannabe?

>>16566364
Dude you are an excellent story teller. I need moar

Small car dealers only exist because stupid people exist.

>>16571435
>you must be new here!
Based upon what, exactly?

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>>16565956
>>16565946
>>16565932
Anyone not in this thread read it its fucking gold!

>>16571367
>He doesn't use torque sticks
It's like you actually enjoy wasting time

>>16566732
Yes they do. The car business makes you racist eventually.

>>16568489
The thesis of your argument is completely manufactured. It is prosecutable as descrimination. Keep believing youre a victim if you want, but it's your victim complex that is keeping you down.

>>16572320
To be honest I do.

>>16566732
>RACISTS NEVER LAST LONG IN YOUR INDUSTRY

You are the only one that is racist. Others stick to facts and statistics.

Prison population records show trends towards certain groups.
Insurance rates are higher in slum areas.
Load defaults are higher in slum areas.
Foreclosures show trends that point at certain groups.
Hit and run accident rates show trends pointing to certain groups.
Education rate levels show trends towards certain groups.
Violent assaults show trends towards groups.
Rapes show trends towards race.
Murder rates show trends towards race.
IQ shows trends towards race.
Animal Husbandry correlates that genetics matter.
Plant Breeding correlates that genetics matter.


>>16572574
>The car business makes you cautious
The willingness of automobile dealers to take chances is based upon statistics. However, activists keep saying that car related businesses should not profile customers (using statistics).

So, LPG's finale never came out?

>>16566849
nobody fucking cares about your made up shit, you sperglord. gtfo

>>16572704
stormfront pls go

>>16567026
die

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>>16567026

>>16568478
AN DEN THEY EETDA POOH POOH

>>16566380
(you)

>>16566628
So many feels.

>>16566380
I've kinda missed this pasta

> Buddy of mine is looking for a cheap ride to college. Overall the guy is level headed.
> Decides he wants motorcycle. Asks if I would help him go to look at a bike with him.
> Shows me the ad online, 2002 Nighthawk 250, 14k miles, at a dealership...
> Mind you it is 2013.
> Get to dealer on a Saturday in the ass end of town at about 10 AM.
> Look at bikes and other cool stuff on the lot ~maybe 25 min have gone by.
> Find the bike that was listed online, Price listed at $2495.
> By now, scruffymcpart time sales rep comes over to "help" as us two are clearly clueless as to how motorcycles work.
> OH this thing is a bad ass ride, never been in an accident
> OH yea this Nighthawk is great, will fly.
> Lol sure, its a 250 with no fairing and is SOHC pushing <25 hp.
> Look at the rear of the bike, scuffs on the plastic on the break side.
> Look at the shiftier, clearly bent.
> Point this damage out to my good friend Scruffy, really it was only cosmetic but still don't be lied to.
> Friend of mine is chill, doesn't say all that much.
> Ask Scruffy if he has the keys on hand so we can test ride the bike.
> Told we cant test ride because muh liability but whatever get the keys I want to listen to the engine.
> Bike is slow to start, and idles pretty rough for a minute once it finally kicks on.
> Wonderful this bike has been sitting on the lot and these guys are asking out the nose for the bike.
> By now its about 11:45, friend and I have been the only customers there so far.
> Say to Scruffy we are going to go grab lunch.
> McDonald's across the street, grab some food keeping dealer in eye shot.
> Another 45 min goes by and not a single person has set foot in the lot.
> Ask friend what he wants to pay for the bike, wants to pay less than $2250 out the door. He has no gear, but did used to scooter so he has a motorcycle plate.
> Head back to the dealer, now we see Scruffy once more and his manager sees us.

>>16574882
> cont


> We go to look at the bike once more, have friend sit on it and we just eat up some more of the guys time.
> Ask Scruffy for key once more, I want to see the bike tool kit and owners manual and maintence record.
> Notice the chain is pretty close to the wear limit and sprockets look pretty warn. Tell friend and he says I need a ride.
> Scruffy comes back and says manual/tools are inside in the file, walks into his office area and sits down with us.
> Ask Scruffy what the total cost of the bike is. By the time taxes/tag/reg "dealer fee" are tagged on this 02 bike is near 3k.
> Tell Scruffy we only want to pay $1,500 out the door for it, at this time manager comes over and sits on the desk by Scruffy.
> Scruffy says how this bike is going to be gone FAST, people are calling off the hook for it.
> I laugh in his face and tell him its near 1 pm, and we have been the only people in the dealer.
> Scruffy does not want to budge on price. I ask if they have a drink, Scruffy being the Operator he is thinks he is going to win us over on 2 bottles of water from the vending machine.
> Talk to the manager, tell him we see there is the worn sprocket/chain bike is hard to start and we know it has been sitting for a while.
> Manager starts to budge, offers us $2550 out the door.
> Tell him that is outrageous, and re issue the $1,500 initial offer.
> Scruffy gets back, and has water; I ask him if the front/rear sprockets and a chain are in stock at the service bay.
> Away Scruffy goes. He returns saying they have one of each in stock.
> What's the MSRP on the total for that scruffy?
> Away Scruffy goes, turns out everything is just shy of $200 at dealership prices.
> Scruffy tells me how this is a "Hard job" and only professionals should attempt it though.
> Move the bid up to $1,850 but they have to put on the chain/sprockets.
> Manager's eyes start to realize a sale may be made, says he can do $2,400 with installed parts.

>>16574882
>>16574886
cont


> Scruffy tells me this is a big deal and that we should take it.
> Thanks Scruffy. At this time I realize the oil/spark plug/air filter probably need to be changed.
> Make offer, $2,000 flat including oil/spark plug/air filter/chain/sprockets.
> Manager says that's too low, how bout we do $2200 out the door.
> Realize friend does not yet have gear.
> Tell Manager tell ya what, can we do $2000 for the bike out the door; but, you need to split the cost of a helmet/gloves for my buddy.
> Manager agrees/friend picks out gear and shows the manager the tag.
> Fawk yea, that knocks another 75$ off the price.
> Total cost for bike/maintenance/helmet/gloves was just shy of $2,100.

And that my friends, is how you work the dealer.

>>16574889
good shit anon, good read.

How is that bike holding up?

>>16574912
Got him through school.

>>16574882
>>16574886
>>16574889
This. You have to be willing to walk away from a deal. Any deal.

The problem for me is that a vehicle is either a right fucking now thing or an emotional investment. So I pay for that.

Yeah, I know. I'm working on it...

>>16575007
>You have to be willing to walk away from a deal. Any deal.

That was also the advice of Longpost Guy. You MUST be willing to walk away.

>>16574889
Look like you're willing to buy that day and not just to kick tires goes a long way in negotiating. And don't be afraid to get as much listed on that "we owe" sheet as possible before buying.

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can't believe this thread is still alive, thanks for the feedback.

also lol @ the guys pretending to be oldfags saying we wuz never raycist.
I've been here 10 years, don't really consider myself an oldfag and I gotta say things have toned way down.

I have no problem with changing the way I write, like I said this is my first time and given my audience is 4chan I thought it would help bring these characters to life for you guys. (I'm not actually this autistic or vulgar IRL I swear, otherwise I probably wouldn't have a job at all)

I do hope to improve my writing and explore other ways to bring the story to life, so stay tuned for next time

>>16575119
Thank fuck I only do private sales I hate dealers.

T. Ausfag

Walked away on my last car but owner was pretty straightforward and knocked the rego price off which was 500aud for a 4K purchase price In cash.

The car is worth about 6500 so I came out good

>>16575279
Are used car warranties worth it or is it worthless?

>>16566784
Still hoping Longpost Guy will come back and post his "end of the year" tales.

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>>16575007
I know what you mean. I got suckered yesterday on a car deal and didn't realize how bad they screwed me until I got home. But on the bright side my payments are okay, I have a more reliable car, insurance is cheaper on my new car, and I got 1.9% financing so I didn't take a total bath.

I just over paid by a couple grand. I learned a hard lesson

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>>16566318
>except this guy is decked out in head to toe designer clothing, I wanted to call him 2chainz but he was actually wearing 3, so from now on he is referred to as 3chainz

>>16570860
But the israelis have a strong motivation to have and build that wall.

Namely to prevent palestinias from killing us, and so we can kill them from behind a safe zone.

The average MURICA!!! man doesn't get up his seat unless netflix has crashed. Last I checked most of your building and landscaping is still done by Robertos and Manuels, so good luck finding capable labor that doesn't want $50/hour with benefits and paid vacations.

Then again, you do have all those coal miners who were stupid enough to think uncle Trump will bring their jobs back.

>>16577849
>Last I checked most of your building and landscaping is still done by Robertos and Manuels
Robertos and Manuel's yard maintenance service charges $150 monthly here. They visit twice or three times per month to mow lawns and trim some plants for small yards. Medium and large yards are extra cost.

>>16576018
depending on the car, could be very worth it

I'd never buy a (newer) used BMW, Audi or Mercedes without a warranty. One big repair and the warranty already pays for itself.

Personally I've never had a car new or nice enough to get a warranty though

>>16578064
Nah. Fuck warranties as long as the car its fine.

>>16577291

OK I got one more end of the year. Not really dealer related.

> Presented my Ph.D. dissertation in October 2016
> HolyShitImDoneWithSchool.jpg for the third time
> TimeToParty.jpg
> Older Dr. Friend of mine wants to sell his 1998 Buick Century, he went and bought himself a Porsche and wanted to sell his current DD.
> 3.1L V6, 139xxx miles, A/C does not blow anything cold, radiator fans are broken, only front door speakers work (soundstage is limited), low coolant level low light is on.
> Friend asks $500, so I decide to go look at the car.
> Drive to meet friend. Car was parked in a warehouse where there was nothing but wood processing occurring.
> The car also smells like a hamster cage from all the powder in the air.
> However There are no broken gaskets, all the windows roll up and down, the power seat works, abs works, Seats are "Clean", and most importantly the temp gauge works.
> Fire up the vehicle for a test drive, car hasnt been driven for a week or two so the first couple cranks are slow but still fires up relatively quick, throw it in neutral, pop the hood.
> Nothing is corroded, nothing is leaking, no strange noises, fan belt has some slop in it but whatever.
> Time to go for a test ride.
> Shifts into D, and 2/3 throttle it for maximum respect. Engine sounds "beast like" for a 140 HP mid 90s v6.
> Keep eye on temp gauge for obvious reason.
> When using the breaks I feel so much slush, eh whatever its a Buick.
> Throw it in R, clock the wheel full tilt and reverse, repeat for the other side.
> Cool, CV joints are good in the front.
> Damn these Buick seats are comfy.
> Ask friend about A/C, he thinks its a relay that has gone bad because the A/C gauge said full charge.
> Tell my friend, I dont get paid till Friday, I had the money but I didnt want to touch the savings account before I make a final decision.

>>16578142

> When I get home I look online, 6 months of insurance runs me 350$, and the fuel economy is supposed to be 24+ MPG highway.
> Hmm.jpg
> Call friend up following Friday, offer $100 cash + 300$ worth of ammo, put $100 on bill of sale/title and we have a deal.
> Woo, drive the car home, with my wife following me home the Monday after.
> When I am in the backroads behind my negiborhood, I floor this vehicle.
> A poof of smoke comes out the exhaust, and I think to myself well I guess the oil was seeping into the valve stems.
> Cool, the coolant level light went off after flooring the engine.
> Whelp looks like we are good. Park the car, at the house.
> Still no tag on the vehicle, but whatever. Have wife drive the car to Wally World with me for assorted lubes/shopvac/ and some Arm & Hammer laundry detergent.
> While driving we decide to figure out the name for the car.
> "Land Yacht?", "Tugboat", oh perfect, this car is floaty but its not nice. "LandBoat!"
> Car has the name LandBoat.
> Following day after work, TimeToClean_LandBoat.jpg.
> Turn the car on in neutral and pop the hood while I am working in it.
> Letting it idle to see what the deal is with Radiatior fans and overheating.
> Notice the break fluid is BLACK.
> Trans fluid is not "pink" but not burnt.
> About 5 min into cleaning the car, I notice the vehicle still has not yet risen above 12 o'clock on the thermostat. Impressed with cooling system
> Spend a good 4 hours shampooing/shop vac the seats and carpet, while the car is running.
> LandBoat doesn't overheat, and I manage to get the car clean. No more hamster cage smell.
> Still no luck with the A/C though.
> Drive my truck to wally-world for some bobo brand r134a+Stopleak, the cheapest compatible gallon of trans fluid and a quart container of DoT3 break fluid.
> I figure if LandBoat's AC is broken already, what do I have to loose.

>>16578142
>>16578146


> Call one of my other friends who has a set of A/C gauges the following day. Look up some r-134a saturation pressure tables online and figure where the gauges should read.
> Next day after work, I go and start hooking up the A/C gauges.
> With the car off, I notice both sides read 40 psi.
> Hmm, thats low. Turn on the car, turn on the A/C.
> Dont see the compressor clutch engaged. Kill the engine, and head in the house
> To the internet wiring diagrams.
> Apparently the relays for the A/C system is also shared with the relay for the radiator fans.
> Get my handy dandy electrical troubleshooting toolbox. This box consists of about 10 feet of copper doorbell wire only.
> Also notice there is a relay for an emissions control pump.
> Pull that relay.
> Stick the wire in the high current side of the relay and bridge the circuit. Oh cool, radiator fans come on.
> Test relays individually, YepJimThereDead.jpg.
> To AutoZone, $65 later, we have working relays, buy 2 12oz cans of more bobo brand r134a+stopleak.
> Head back home, start the car, and again pop the hood. Gauges still hooked to the high/low pressure ports.
> Give the LandBoat some throttle, I can hear the clutch engage. Still no cold air.
> I do however notice the clutch stays engaged.
> Wow, we are only going to 30 and 80 psi, there is no charge on the A/C.
> Shoot the first can in there. Can empties in <30 seconds, says when topping off the A/C system it takes 15 min.
> Grab can #2, in she goes in.
> Look at gauges again, we are at 40 psi and 100 psi. At this temperature charts say 55 psi on the low is a good gauge reading, and 160 psi on the high side is a good reading.
> Can #3 of bobo r134a+stopleak away!
> Cool we got charge. Get inside car, damn that A/C is cold as shit.
> Oh damn, the temperature selector works. There are no vac leaks!
> Kill the engine.
> Swap out the gallon of trans fluid using a transfer pump in <60 seconds.

>>16578142
>>16578146
>>16578151


> Use a syringe to empty the break fluid reservoir, refill with virgin fluid, repeat 3x.
> Take the car for a test ride. No trans leaks, A/C is making condensation occur on my glasses. Yay Florida "Winter."
> Ok, lets go get insurance and title.
> Holy shit a tag + registration + title is 400$ for this.
> Eh whatever life is good.
> Wife now uses land boat as DD, I no longer have to bicycle or use the 50cc Honda metro as a commuter and get to drive my truck. HorrayImADoctor.jpg.
> At some point in mid November my wife and I decide to drive across the country, with the LandBoat trunk loaded full of Christmas gifts for her family.
> Oh this sounds like a wonderful idea.
> Check the owners manual for oil change interval. Hmm, thats coming up soon.
> Get the car ready to go on a cross country trip.
> Wally world brand 10w-30, cheapo air filter, cheapo oil filter, we are good.
> Spend the saturday doing the oil/filters.
> As my wife is going to use this as her "primary vehicle" I show her how to change a tire.
> Well since Im at it, decide to rotate/inspect tires. I notice only the front tires have matching depth, the back two are mismatched.
> Start fumbling with hubcaps, swap out the front ones. Cool
> Take off rear driver tire, we are almost done.
> Rear passenger tire has a stuck lug nut. Well shit.
> Go get some wd-40 and start inching off the tire slow as shit.
> Nut gets about 2/3 up the stud and just snaps the remaidner of the stud off.
> Shit.jpg
> Scooter to Autozone, get a replacement nut, look for a die in the proper size, they dont have one.
> Scooter to Homo Depot, oh cool they have the proper die.
> Get back home, sandpaper the sheared face of the stud, run the die down the stud, cool only the end was damaged.
> Remount tire, show wife to only apply minimal torque to this specific lug nut.
> Fast forward to the Saturday before we are supposed to be leaving on this cross country adventure.

>>16578142
>>16578146
>>16578151
>>16578159
> Out driving the LandBoat getting groceries, stop to get gas. Well would you look at that, the starter died Jim.
> Try tapping the tire iron on the starter body, to no avail.
> Well fawk.
> Call friend, get ride home, pick up truck and grab the tow cables.
> Get back to the gas station with my wife, wrap tow cables around the radiator mounting frame.
> Give her the jist of how to drive the LandBoat while on artificialily induced forward momentum.
> Start pulling out of the gas station, wife doesnt turn the wheel, almost break the plastic radiator grille.
> Really simplify things for her, push the car backwards up the 1.5° incline and realign the vehcilee so she doesn't have to full tilt the vehicle.
> Tow Try #2. Get on the road, call her on the phone to maintain comm link.
> We are coming up to the first light, instruct her if she feels like the truck isnt pulling the car, then the car is going faster than the truck and she needs to tap the breaks to avoid a collision.
> Tell her that she may need to use some force since the vacuum break booster isnt functional.
> Immediately feel whiplash in my neck as my wife stabs the breaks.
> Hear something from the tow cables. Get out inspect, see nothing wrong. Meh fawk it.
> Blaze home at the ludicrous speed of 25 mph.
> Push the LandBoat into the parking spot and put away everything else.
> Next day I pull the starter, take it to autozone, test this, ItsDeadJim.jpg
> 140$ later we have a new starter. Install, holy shit the car starts immediately.
> Fawk yea I have 3x'ed the resale value of the car.
> Big day comes, wife and I pack the car and head off cross the country.
> This isn't our first road trip so we decide to drive straight through.
> Leave from South Florida, take turns driving for 2-4 hours. Other person gets to sleep for up to two hours, and then swap.

>>16578173

> At the first fill up I notice the car is getting 27.3 MPG at 75 mph. FawkYea.jpg, last time we did this in my truck it managed to get 18 and needed diesel.
> Realize this magical land boat can go 400 miles for a mere 31$ versus 59$ for the truck. Cool, in fuel savings alone I made back the cost of repairs on this one trip.
> Somewhere around Beaumont Teaxas, both of us realize we need to pull over and sleep for a few hours.
> Find the nearest semi parking lot and pass out. Damn these seats are comfy.
> Wake up around 4 am, my leg which is resting on the door arm rest is burning due to the 14°F outside temperature sucking heat from within my soul.
> Well we are up.
> Continue on this journey.
> Repeat the same sleeping deal in Armillio TX before the last leg of the journey.
> Stop somewhere in New Mexico where there is a Bashi's (Local Chain Grocer). Find a lost dog, Doggo in the parking lot.
> WantToBeFriends.jpg? Doggo is afraid of me has clearly been abused and cowers from me when I get near. Well I dont want to cause problems.
> Go inside food/drink/bio. When I come back out the dog is still chillen by the car. Put some food and water down for my prospective friend and go sit in the car.
> Doggo eats like he has never seen sustenance in his life. When it is empty he looks a little less afraid, I approach the area and he again cowers. Well I did my part oh well it wasnt meant to be.
> Drive off to meet the family.
> Fawk yea we arrive a few days before Christmas. Oregon trail difficulty hard completed, time elapsed 39 hours 43 minutes.
> Sister in Law moved into a new place, her husband has a kickass detached two car garage with a furnace/shop lighting/ and a stocked Mac Tool Chest, brand new DeWalt/Milwaukee Everything.
> Helping Brother in Law move in/set up the garage, install a garage sound system. This is a god dam palace.

>>16578180

> Drive the LandBoat around the Utah/Arizona border for a week or two. Everything is wonderful.
> The day prior to New Year's Eve we decide to leave as we still need to see my family before the end of the holiday.
> Wife starts up the car while its cold. Hear a misfire, then nothing. Wife pulls out of the driveway in the LandBoat, I hear a loud pop then hissing, I can see steam coming from the hood by the leaf catcher.
> Aw shit, pull it back in the driveway.
> Get flashlight, can see two leaks where coolant is coming out. Looks like the head gasket on the rear cylidner bank up against the firewall is fucked.
> Ask if I can use the garage, granted permission. BegintheOperation.jpg
> Remove throttlebody/upper intake plenum/disconnect all vaccum hoses/remove distributor block/ fawk there is so much shit in this cramped ass engine bay.
> Shower and call it a night.
> Wake up the following day, get the fuel rails off, pull the valve covers open, and start trying to remove the head.
> Jack up the car and start to remove the exhaust manifold from the downpipe leading to the cat.
> FuckJimItsSeized.jpg, get the breaker bar out and manage to get one nut off after almost breaking my hand.
> Second bolt wont come. Fuck it I need to take a break.
> Negibor comes over to introduce himself to my Brother in Law, hands us a cold 6 pack. Guy is in his mid-late 60s but seems like a real chill dude.
> Oh what are you working on he asks? LandBoat decided to blow a head gasket but the exhaust manifold is stuck.
> Oh I have an oxy-acetlyene torch in my garage be right back.
> Old dude hits the bolt with the torch.
> I get under there spray everything with some wd-40, and start to torque down.
> Stud snaps but whatever the head is loose.
> Pull the head, on the side I can clearly see where the coolant is leaking by matching the pattern in the gasket on the side.
> cant find where the back is leaking.
> Use some steel wool to scrape off old head gasket.

>>16578189

> Notice something on the engine, the coolant flow ports dont match on either the gasket/head or block. Holy shit this is some cheap ass engineering who the hell greenlighted any of this. Fucking cheap ass GM.
> Oh fuck the shavings of steel wool are coming off in the engine bay. FuckMe.jpg
> Get the shopvac, and start cleaning, remove as much debris as I can find.
> In the back leak, I notice however there is a crack within the block where the coolant travels from the block to the cylinder head.
> Run fingernail over crack, well its not too deep.
> Borrow a vehcicle, head to hardware store, get assorted sandpaper, gasket set, and a few other odds and ends.
> Start sanding the head clean, start with 120 grit wet/dry paper, then move to 240, finish with 400. Holy shit I can see myself in the head. Start sanding the block using the same process. Go past the point of not being able to feel the crack.
> Drill out the old exhaust manifold stud, tap and throw a bolt in there.
> Well I hope this is worth it. Torque everything back together, go just a hair past torque specs to ensure a good seal on the new gasket.
> Re-assembly complete.
> Moment of truth. Engine fires up, well I didnt crash the valves into the piston head. This is good.
> Dont see a leak on the side, dont see/hear any steam coming from the back.
> Hory shit, i fixeded the car.
> Decide to drive around town to get some supplies. On the way down I floor it on the highway, if this thing is going to break I dont want it to happen in freezing Texas.
> Sure enough the back of the block gave way.
> Car is dead.
> Well fuck.
> Ask if the local fire department wants the car as a training vehicle, says yes.
> Donate the car for a cool 650$ tax write off.
> Call insurance/ cancel remaining policy. Holy shit I get 214$ back on my credit card.
> Get rental Drive home.

RIP LandBoat 10/23/2016 - 12/30/2016. 149975 mi

Oh well, never again will I get a GM product.

I worked for a dealership chain for a few years taking photos and video.

>Try to start a car on the lot, battery dead so one of the sales people brings a jumper box (battery tied to jumper cables).
>Turns out it's out of gas too.
>Fuck this shit, GI get lunch while a sweet pea goes to fill up a Jerry can.
>Get back after a long lunch, day is hot as fuck
>Car smells of gas but whatever. Get in, start it. Gas smell intensifies
>Start feeling light headed. Hit the breaks and get out.
>Open trunk, yep, uncapped 10 gallon jerrycan on it's side. Looks like some spilled.
>Right next to it the jumper box, clamps right next to each other.
>Not sure if the sweet pea was trying to murder me or terribly retarded.
>Didn't have to watch my back because he only sells 3 cars the whole month and is fired.

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>>16578198
>I notice however there is a crack within the block where the coolant travels from the block to the cylinder head.
Doesn't matter how deep it is. Its fuck'd.

Did you never thought that maybe if you drive hard a car with no radiator fan and the thermometer reads as "cool as shit" maybe the thermostat is fucked or something wrong is going on? a proper engine should heat up but not overheat. If that engine did not heat up at all its fucked.

>>16578515

Ill be honest, I considered the fan not working would have killed the car.

However, GM's typically have a 220°F thermostat. If the temperature gauge reads between 11~12 O'clock then the thermostat in there has to be opening at at least 170°F.
If the vehicle is running, and I don't feel like I am dying when I open the hood, I would think everything is acceptable.

To be fair, 10k miles were put on the car.

>>16578593
Yeah man the car seems like if it was good for the price.

I just think that it would actually SURVIVE if you bothered to actually fix everything in it. Probably would work as your wife's DD for several years.

Dont blame GM because an used shitbox you didn't bother to even fix broke up on you.

>>16578198
holy shit that was a ride.

F

>>16575929
Your shitbox Commodore isn't worth anywhere near $6.5k Falcunt.

>thrashed high mileage Commodore with questionable mods
>worth anything at all

>>16578876
>T. Anon busrider
Go back to your containment board

>>16578899
>waaah waaaaah the truth hurts waaaaah waaaaah

>>16578999
The car was stock when I got it.

Do you really have to follow me all over this site like a little fangirl?

>>16565946
>having a coal burning daughter
>not disowning her
he deserves everything he gets.

>>16566869
they can't even comprehend the concept of irony. leftist shits helped breed an underclass of retarded human cattle.

>>16567026
>>>/r/eddit
>>>/trash/
Your choice, pajeet nigger.

>>16578142
>>16578146
>>16578151
>>16578159
>>16578173
>>16578180
>>16578189
>>16578198
well, i certainly believe you're a phd graduate. you managed to stretch such a shit story in a 8 character maxed posts.

>>16579445

It was a fun car

>>16566227
Are you a Mexican by any chance?

>>16579445
Also made the most Reddit post I've ever seen.

>>16567421
desu I want to buy a $500 shitbox and drive it into the wealthy part of town where everyone drives BMW's and Teslas, look for somebody texting and make them rear end me

>>16578180
>> Doggo eats like he has never seen sustenance in his life. When it is empty he looks a little less afraid, I approach the area and he again cowers. Well I did my part oh well it wasnt meant to be.
Screw you pal. Not in the hostile way. But a lot of dogs are mistreated and while he seemed to cower in front of you i doubt any stray dog would dislike the life of living with a family at home. I think you should have been more active to get him to like you and get him a home.

>>16566849
Top kek.

>>16566849
Too obviously fake, shit /pol/ bait.

>>16571147
I'm the only poor gay guy I know, and I know a lot of other fags.

>>16573360
>>16580775
fuck off reddit

>>16580307
>I've never had a rescued dog before in my life: the post

hey dickbag, there's a reason rescued dogs have to be rehabilitated before you give them to families. They're basically wild animals, they will bite hard if you make them nervous. I'm guessing anon isn't a fucking vet, so I don't think he has the credentials

>>16581455
You think every single one of them will treat the guy that brings them food and water as enemies? did you EVER had a rescued dog or a stray dog with you? or even an abused dog?

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>>16566318
>I wanted to call him 2chainz but he was actually wearing 3, so from now on he is referred to as 3chainz

>>16574187
>>16570718
>>16571569

Newfags

>>16580814
>le reddit xd

kill yourself

>>16568131

Did you even read the post?

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>>16565956
believable, actually

burn the coal

pay the toll

>>16568439
>There are no workplace anti-discrimination laws based on sexual orientation. It is perfectly legal to fire someone because you found out they were gay.
That highly depends on what state you live in. It's protected in most blue states

>>16581828
I have a story but it's about a dealership (rather the mechanic) trying to fuck me over on my warranty

>early 2014
>drive my 2011 Honda civic ex as my dd
>had it for almost 3 years
>never modded it at all, just put on some third party rain visors for over the doors
>one day I notice a peculiar knock that happens almost randomly, I can't figure out the source but it bothers me.
>take it out to the dealership because it's still under warranty for another 4 months
>pull it into the dealer, tell them my problem.
>go wait in their waiting room, drink and eat all the free coffee and cookies I want
>15 minutes later one of the technicians wants proof of my oil changes
>ask him what does my knock have to do with it? I changed it some 2k miles ago and it's not due for another 3 at least
>he doesn't answer and asks if I have proof of it.
>ask him if the oil smells bad, is it unusually thick or is it really dark (from oxidation )
>he mutters a no but still insists I provide proof of the oil changes
>I'm not in this to make a stink of it so I go get a print off my credit card transactions and receipts then drive back to the dealer
>the "manager" of the technicians says this isn't good enough and it's not proof
>I'm an oilfield chemist and lots of my job is studying and researching additives and antioxidants to add to things like oil and oil based products in order to make them stronger or last longer.
>Im furious now, they're bucking me on my warranty over fucking oil changes
>I open my trunk and grab an empty jar I had laying in there. I order him to pour me off a sample of my car's oil and that if I had it tested for contaminants what was he gonna do if I came back with clean oil?
>he scoffs at me and says I can just pay to have it fixed.
>Abso-fucking-lutly not
>the following week I bring back an analytical report of the composition of my oil.

>>16582306
Cont
>the report reads that the oil has no major contaminants and the viscosity is in spec. It's not even oxidized according to the color test
>the manager doesn't want to look at me, I'm not yelling at him but I'm certainly loud enough to be heard. I ask the receptionist if I can see the owner and I have a complaint.
>the owner comes out and I tell him everything that transpired and that if my shit isn't fixed under warranty he'll hear from my lawyer that they lied about my oil being defunct.
>he bends over backwards for me, gets it done and even details my car up and down
never going back there again for work even if it is under warranty. Not everything everyone tells you is true

>>16580307
>I think you should have been more active to get him to like you and get him a home.
You shouldn't play the part of a bleeding heart liberal and tell others that they should sacrifice their home's safety as well as their own money to give shelter to strays.

>>16582315
>never going back there again for work even if it is under warranty. Not everything everyone tells you is true
You'd expect that kind of anti-warranty treatment from a chinese car dealership and not Honda.

>>16567026
Go back to the Microsoft forums

>>16582406
Except that unlike refugees dogs will appreciate what you do for them.

Republican btw.

>>16581461
Fucking idiot.

Any number of things could have gone wrong, from rabies, to the shitbag owner suing him for stealing his dog. If anything, he should have called the ASPCA

t. Somebody who actually deals with rehabilitating abused and stray dogs

>>16567026
pussy

>>16571125
>tfw you make 150k plus and drive a 12 year old Buick

>>16578198
>not getting based 3800

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>>16582464
>Except that unlike refugees dogs will appreciate what you do for them.
All Refugees and many dogs appreciate. But in the case of refugees, about 2 minutes later, they forget or ignore what was done for them because that is in the past. They are only looking for the future. If feigning gratitude to you will get more benefits, then they will continue to do that. As for stray dogs, a lot of times owners will abandon a neurotic dog because they only want perfectly behaving dogs at home. So you can pick up a neurotic dog if you want.

But hey, if I see an abandoned Porsche by the roadside, I'm willing to pick up a stray. I can deal with Porshe's behavior. GMs and Fords nah.

>>16582824
Dunno man. I keep hearing shit about dogs that dont deserve to end up stray. Refugees are assholes because they were told to be assholes and terrorists but its too late to change them. Maybe that's not the case with dogs.

And why Porsche? if you want to kill yourself in an oversteer accident an MR2 AW11 is cheaper.

>>16583034
A Porsche is faster so you have a higher chance of dying on impact.

>>16583052
And why the fuck would you find a non-FUBAR porsche on the side of the road?

While i love old porsches they are getting so rare that collectors are starting to get smart and getting as many as they can

>>16583065
>And why the fuck would you find a non-FUBAR porsche on the side of the road?

Ahh, looks like that post's joke about Porche flew way off into left field foul territory. One Piece has a quirky somewhat neurotic character named Porsche.

>>16582306
>>16582315
Other than running the oil through a viscometer, what do you do with it?

>>16582406
>>16582464
Trust me, I felt bad not taking the dog, but when the animal has its tail tucked between its legs even while eating and is acting skiddish as shit I know that the animal would do anything to get out of me "trapping" it.

>>16582578
Yes if the car had the 3800 instead of the 3100 it would have been wonderful but it didn't.

>>16583152
>Other than running the oil through a viscometer, what do you do with it?
Composition test using gas chromatography, mass spec, IR And sometimes NMR. You'll take a standard of brand new oil and compare it to your used oil. If your oil is contaminated you'll see many new peaks and extra shit that you wouldn't normally see with brand new oil. Based on the size of the peaks you can determine how much is in there. IR and NMR can help point you in the right direction as to what contaminants it is.

There's a specific test for oxidation but I'm not particularly familiar with what it involves. Oxidation in oil is usually signified by extremely dark/black oil that has no translucency what so ever

>>16566629
I don't know dude, my best friends (twins) inherited a 69 mustang with 40k original miles on it. Girls go out of their way to talk to them. Also there are YouTube videos where guys rent super cars and just stand by them and girls stop to talk and immediately are OK with going home with the dude
>you won't find a decent human being like that but you can get your dick wet

>>16583189
>Oxidation in oil is usually signified by extremely dark/black oil that has no translucency what so ever
Another problem with testing for oxidation is that contaminants also cause your oil to darken so it's not a fool proof test, but it is a sure bet your oil is old. Also oxidation increases viscosity, so in spec readings from a viscometer is also a good sigb

http://www.machinerylubrication.com/Read/28966/oil-oxidation-stability

Here's a good article on it.

>>16567036
It's true and I like how you phrased your sentence!

>>16583118
I dont watch one piece. Have friends suggesting it to me but jesus fuck its so long that i dont feel like watching it since i like to watch shit in a marathon.

>>16566629

Same thing goes for getting /fit/. A bunch of dudes will ask you for your routine and how much you bench. Unless you're facially attractive with a decent job, girls won't give a shit.

>>16583519
This.

>>16581773
Still waiting for an explanation on what you base this one. I'm guessing you've been here about 3 days since all you've managed to do is repeatedly spout" newfag"

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>>16579617

>>16579617
brb buying my boss' 81 corona and doing this

>>16581773
Bruh I can smoke out of my 99 corolla with no effort, put water on the tires and it's even easier.

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>be me over a year ago
>ask local Ford dealership for info on 2016 Focus RS
>tell me they don't have any but they'll let me know when they do
>fast forward 6 months
>they have one, want me to come see it
>seriously doubt I could actually afford it but go just to see it
>salesman is motivated af
>let's me drive it without taking license info
>love it
>he knows I want it
>get "pre-approved" for payments down to $960 for 72 months at 5%, 0 down
>single, active duty, I can handle that for dream car
>drive it home
>don't trade-in because don't have title for current car (different story)
>drift around for 4 days of bliss
>dealership calls
>loan didn't actually get picked up
>have to bring the car back
>mfw got to drive dream car for 4 days for free

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>>16585702
>$960 for 72 months

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>>16585702
>Nearly $1000 every month
>For 72 months
>Remotely thinking it was a good idea

>>16585702
$960 a month? Nigger what are you smoking

>>16585702
>>16585737
>pay $69,120 for a $51,000 car
Insane.

>>16585756
>>pay $69,120 for a $51,000 car
>5%APR

I mean, what the fuck. Did >>16585702 paid over MSRP?

>>16585772
By a pretty large amount - or at least tried to.

>>16585702
>70k for a focus
Holy shit son

>>16585756
>51
What? i have seen the MSRP be at 45 or 46k USD

>>16585737
>>16585748
>>16585750
>>16585756
>>16585772
>>16585791
I don't care much about money, I waste it all anyways and I could just reenlist, pay it off, and retire at 20 years with my dream car. I actually had a budget put together that would let me pay $1600 a month on it and still live reasonably well, so I didn't see any reason not to. I don't think you guys understand military life

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>>16585843
>I don't think you guys understand military life
I was taking you seriously until i read that

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>>16585843
I was genuinely trying to knock some sense into you writing a long reply until i read that last part.

>>16566216
what car was it?

>i like to think that he browses this board and is reading this

>>16575119

Recently took a family friend car shopping. She wants a truck but knew nothing about whats good. Only fit was f150 200 miles away.

Told her that if I go and I call it, she has to walk no matter her reason.

Listed for 17, 15.5 was bluebook excellent, she said she would pay 15, wants 14. She called and told them she was going to visit and buy for 14. They said no need more and she said she would pay 14.

So we drive up. Test drive - no issues, trans - shifting fine wtf, had moonroof leak but no biggie, good tires. They go back and forth before she walks and we just walk around the truck.

Sales guy comes out and comes down to 15.5. She says 14 and he starts "like getting too good a deal" and that shit. I ask him if all of these f150 comes with a leaking moonroof, or if it was just standard on the XLS. He says 15 final offer.

He goes in and gets yelled at, she goes in to the final deal room. She was texting lists of random tackon charges to sqeeze as much as possible. They write price as 15 and she throws the pen and yelled. That he lied on the phone and knew she was coming this far. Then stormed out and got in the truck.

So I turned on my truck, back out and signaled to turn. Old fat manager runs out and flags us down.
>cant you do 15
>14
>f-fine

I was pretty happy she fuckin stuck to it. Great truck no problems. Carfax I got here said two owners, perfect maint hist.

>>16578198
shit i read that whole thing, felt attached, the doggo part was such nice addition

>>16585799
>USD
That's why. Canadian here.

>>16585843
>Don't care much about money.
We know.

>Reenlistment is guaranteed to an idiot
Are you sure?

>Retire at 20
Its that easy. Unless your job is for dumbasses. Then the bar is set pretty low.

>$1600 a month for a fucking car.
I prefer putting that money torwards something I can actually live in.

I understand military life.

>>16585702
They did u a favour

>>16572661
Wasting time doesn't keep you employed as a mechanics

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>>16581455
Well no but here's an ex-stray cat

>>16577514
Worst mistakes have been made man. We're all human. Just learn from it and teach your friends and kids how to do it differently so they don't make the same mistake.

>>16585702
The meme is real, enlisted really are retards about buying cars

Save that money and buy rental properties when you get out you fucking idiot

>>16585843
HE WANTS TO PAY 1600 A MONTH TO FINANCE A FORD FOCUS

THATS AS MUCH AS A NISSAN GTR


BEHOLD EVERYONE
THESE ARE THE """"""""""""BRAVE"""""""""""" MEN AND WOMEN WHO SERVE

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I noticed on some dealer websites that if I pay with 36month payments I get zero APR and a 750 dollar reduction off the price.

Do you think I can knock the price even more if I pay it all in cash? Car is around 17k msrp

>>16566629
Might be just Mustangs... Per >>16583250, but my girl and her mom are both crazy into Mustangs. She has decent car taste, but she hadn't seen a BRZ until a few weeks ago, so eh.

(brz fags btfo)

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>mfw 70k upside down on a ford focus

Sued carmax and pocketed $18K after paying off the attorney, taking back the 370z and paying it off ($14K was remaining on loan so they paid just shy of $35K for a 2010 370Z Sport Touring with a accident history and 55K miles)

My dad is doing the same thing on his BMW now with the same lawyer... They have an arbitration meeting next week.

Tried to buy a brand new left over 2016 Mustang (November last year when the 17s were already out for a while)... My friends had a "hook up" in the form of being loyal customers to 1 specific sales man for 4 years (having bought 5 cars) that they referred me to.

Mustang I wanted was at a different Ford dealers lot... We started the transfer process as I was buying the car. He proceeded to try and sneak in $5700 in mark up on a 2016 GT Premium (performance pack, 401A equipment group with navigation), Me and my friends (his loyal customers) called it out and he removed it.

Then put in a $3500 warranty I didn't want when it came time to sign the contract...That I didn't notice until after cutting a $15K check and signing the contracts. Wasted 5 hours there, But that was a good thing... It meant I didn't get to take the car that night as it was still 30 miles away. So I waited for them to go and pick up the car, wash it, put gas in it and have it parked out front waiting for me to tell them I cancelled the check later that night and that I was not going to be taking the car after all.

They were understandably mad, The bigger boss manager guy called an hour later apologizing profusely and offered to sell it to me for $5K under MSRP. But I was done with them... Ended up paying more for a 2017 Camaro 2SS with magnetic ride control, dual mode exhaust and navigation (only 3 options I wanted extra of the 2SS trim).

>>16587301
>Do you think I can knock the price even more if I pay it all in cash?

No, as Longpost Guy said before in various comments mixed into his tales from the dealership stories, the dealer makes a lot more money when you use a financing plan offered by the dealer. In terms of profit to the dealer:

1. Financing plan offered by the dealer such as 36mo pmt zero APR w/750 price reduction.

2. Financing plan pre-approved letter of credit from your bank or credit union.

3. You pay cash.

>>16587776
How exactly so they make more Money when they take off 750 then give you 0%

>>16587841
The enticement typically lasts one year then their normal rates resume.

>>16587855
Oh fuck that noise

>>16587841
Some plans require the purchase of additional options packages or extended warranty which are not covered in the discount plan.

The plans are also limited to the specific cars on that dealer's lot. So you cannot pick and choose outside of those cars.

Or that car being offered is actually a car no one would buy. But as you drive by, you see that sign saying "36mo pmt zero APR $750 addt reduction". So you decide to stop by the dealer to see. NOW he has you in the dealership and the salesmen can work you over onto a different car. The dealer's problem is getting you to stop by for a visit so he can cast his mind control spell onto you.

>>16566216
He deserved being laughed at for his shit taste.

>>16587871
>Or that car being offered is actually a car no one would buy. But as you drive by, you see that sign saying "36mo pmt zero APR $750 addt reduction". So you decide to stop by the dealer to see. NOW he has you in the dealership and the salesmen can work you over onto a different car. The dealer's problem is getting you to stop by for a visit so he can cast his mind control spell onto you.
This site really pissed me off. I called a dealership about 80 miles away that had a Subaru legacy I wanted in my favorite color for a great price and what not. When I called they said they still had it on the lot and I told them I'd be there in about an hour and a half. I drove the entire 80 miles to go see it only to learn that they didn't have it and the salesman wouldn't stop trying to coax me into another Subaru legacy that was out of my price range and not even in my color. I got up and left spending only 20 minutes there

>>16572704
Would be real inconvenient for people to admit that centuries of forcefully keeping them below the bottom rung of the social ladder and treating them like shit also matters and had an effect on their current state. BUT that would be admitting the U.S. wasn't perfect, and no hardcore American will ever admit that. Not defending the actions of bad individuals in this day and age, but you can't just pretend that it had no effect on them. Well, you can, but you'd be correcting the record. People act as they are raised, and guess what, centuries of abuse makes people into violent pieces of shit.

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>>16587931

>>16588064
Part of the irateness is that when foreign nationals find it hard (pollution, zoning) or expensive (labor, benefits) to set up in the USA, they set up the same factory or import house in either Canada or Mexico and make use of NAFTA to get around the duty issues as well. So NAFTA created local jobs for Canada and Mexico but not for the USA and then even avoided the duty or existing tariff.

Another approach foreign manufacturers (or counterfeiters) use is instead of transshipping via Mexico or Canada, they just land the goods there long enough to change the status from "transship" to be "sourced from".

>>16585702
That's illegal just so you know. They already gave you the car. They are at that point legally obligated to let you keep it for the pre-discussed amount.

>>16586757
Neither does busting studs left and right.

>>16587552
You know what's great? I work for CarMax and just sent your post info to our corporate home office.

Should be careful where you share current suit info.

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>>16589937
>no name or personal information
>wanting to fuck someones day up

Being this shit of a human

>>16589788
No they aren't, idiot.

>>16590476
Yeah, they actually are, dumb ass. It's a well known scam.

>>16590315
not him, but this is 4chan after all. Someone will ruin you just because you gave them an opening to do so

>>16590315
I have no intention of fucking up anyone's day. Neither of us know what the details are, so who's to say this Anon isn't doing something dishonest and accidentally gave one little detail here that will prove his dishonesty?

The information itself is neutral, it's how it's used and what it means to the situation that gives the information purpose.

If you truly think there are so many open suits that the specifics of this anons won't be recognizable to the CarMax lawyers, then you're vastly underestimating the amount of organization that goes into making a nationwide company functional.

This goes one of two ways: Anon is lying and there was and never will be a suit (more likely) and the information is purposeless, or they find the information matches a current suit and log it as potentially relevant before having their legal team scrutinize it.

>>16590315
did I miss the part where he did something wrong?
Seriously, what up?

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>>16582306
>>16582315
>Anon literally gets scientific test of their oill's composition to own dealer goys
You magnificent bastard, outfuckingstanding