Would a hearse make a reliable cheap car?

>>16365039
>older brother wants to buy a camper
>decides on getting a hearse and retrofitting it
>pulls up in front of our house to pick up some stuff
>leaves
>neighbors start bringing food over thinking someone died
>good eats for a few days

anyone?

I figure you gut the back and use land rover style bench seats inside.

>>16365039
yes it would be a good buy plus it's a lot of fun when I was a kid my dad had one, he would tunr the headlights on during the day and drive like 15mph all oncoming traffic would pull to the shoulder

>>16365039
Due to them being custom vehicles, you won't get hold of one until it's a maintenance-intensive moneypit and all but dead.
All those miles are city miles.
Short trips everywhere.
Rear suspension's fucked from carrying fat people and their fat families.
People will expect you to dress, look, and act like Marylin Manson when you pull up in it.

Mind you, a local crematorium has an old Jaguar hearse that looks pretty good. XJS front end, still fairly low and sleek all around, and proper bodywork instead of american-style vinyl crap on the back.

>>16365181
>People will expect you to dress, look, and act like Marylin Manson when you pull up in it.
But that's the best part

The most common ones I can think of are caddy hearses. Beware of the 32V Northstar V8, once that shit hits 100k, the engine leaks oil out of every surface imaginable. Oil leak sealer will be your best friend. Also in caddy fashion, expect things to go wrong at the 100k mark, including electrical wiring and glitches.

>>16365181
>Rear suspension's fucked from carrying fat people and their fat families.
Anyone have the article screenshot where the obese ded guy actually broke the suspension?

>>16365189
Assuming that you like that sort of thing, sure.

I hear everyone's dying for a ride.

I died and I currently reside in a hearse. Be careful OP.

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>>16365181
>old Jaguar hearse that looks pretty good

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>>16365266
There are people out in this world that would call this a 'fastback'

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>>16365274
>implying you wouldnt

just get a grand marquis or a town car

>>16365266
Fuck, I would call that a fastback

>>16365266
What do they put in that thing? Dead cats?

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>>16365266

I would

>>16365304
>>16365321
Speed freaks (or what's still left of them) after nasty crashes.

>>16365215
Link?

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plasti dip

>>16365304
>>16365274
>>16365303

>hasn't seen harold and maude.

Fucking children, the lot of you.

>>16366281
Don't tell em. They will develop some fucked up fetishes

>>16366281
>harold and maude
movie was gay

CROWN VIC
R
O
W
N

V
I
C

>>16365237
Dad joke acknowledged.

>>16365039
I'd love a blacked out and slightly lowered one.

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>>16365289

That's more like a shooting brake.

>>16366654
If they haven't developed some by visiting 4chan they won't ever will.

Only if your a special snowflake.

>>16366694
take it back anon
right the fuck now

>>16366694
Motherfucker IM waiting.
I can wait all fucking night.
TAKE IT BACK!!!

Goes well with a fedora.

Just make sure you're buying it straight from a parlor and not from some methed out Harley rider.

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>>16365039

>>16367593
You dont sound like you have anything better to do

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>>16365039
get a flower car instead

But if you're looking for a cheap reliable set of wheels, you can't go wrong with an auction p71

>>16366281
>watching shit low brow """comedies"""
kill yourself

>>16365181
>Due to them being custom vehicles, you won't get hold of one until it's a maintenance-intensive moneypit and all but dead.
This guy is talking right out of his ass. The main reason for hearses going up for sale is that you can't have a funeral using a really old hearse.

Just imagine how stupid it would look for an old 80s box hearse in a convoy of modern cars. They don't want that image so they upgrade to something newer every few years.

Source for this being that I knew the owner of a funeral home.

>>16368392
they could put donk wheels on 80s hearses and use them for funerals for niggers. missed business opportunity there.

hearses are not haunted, ambulances are haunted, no one dies in a hearse

but they are for tryhard edgelords desu

>>16368323
Would be alright if it didn't look this hacked up and if there was actually a properly finished bed hiding underneath that tray.

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>tfw you would a hearse but they're even larger on our already small European roads and they usually have small as fuck engines because all they're laid out for is transporting a corpse or two at dignified speed
Could've bought this exact car for three and a half grand a year or so ago and didn't, feels bad in retrospect because it looks so cool. It's not actually a stretched wagon, but a stretched, wagonized sedan.

>>16368323
>p71
Say hello to idle wear
My dad's a cop, nearly everyone in his department has their cruiser running the entire shift

>>16368626
Doesn't make them any less reliable. The engines are bullet proof (intake manifold excluded).

>>16368626
>>16368323
Idle hours are cancer. Get a Grand Marquis instead, same car but less likely to have the shit beaten out of it.

P71s have some extra doodads for cooling and the tranny shifts higher but the interior is about as barebones as James May's sex life and you won't get any of the cool shit you can find on civvie CVs, MGMs or Town Cars (bench seat with column shift, digital dashboard, Handling/Performance pack for limited slip rear end, etc).

>>16368392
>Just imagine how stupid it would look for an old 80s box hearse in a convoy of modern cars

And yet, they've been using the same 1980s Jag hearse for years. Maybe it's an american consumercuck thing that NEW THINGS EVERY FEW YEARS ANYTHING OLDER THAN FIVE YEARS IS ANCIENT AND OUTDATED REPLACE IT BUY BUY BUY SPEND SPEND SPEND is pushed onto people 24/7.

>>16368787
You think euros are better? All I see is the newest e-class hearses, half of them with swapped cls front fascia to look cooler and more modern. You must live in shithole to still see old hearses.

>>16368924
You don't get rid of a classic Jag after you've gone through the effort of modifying it. They have Jag limos, as well.