Let me tell you a story, /o/

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Let me tell you a story, /o/

Part 1 of 2

>Wake up naturally from a full night's sleep, it's about 7:30am
>Walk over to office
>Start up meme machine
>Vape and contemplate life while my GNU loads itself
>It loads nearly instantaneously, as it is lean and efficient, such is the nature of Glorious People's License software
>Realize I am ever so slightly peckish
>Throw on hoodie and flip flops
>Go outside

>Before me lies a glorious machine
>Unlock it
>Slide in to the cabin
>Flip the battery disconnect solenoid switch
>Pull choke out
>Give it a few pumps of 100 octane
>Engage starter switch
>The engine roars to life
>blublublublublublublublublublublublublublu
>The cabin heats up in moments thanks to the heat output of the engine
>I blip the throttle, disengaging the high idle cam and bring down the idle speed to a comfortable 650 rpm
>gluglugluglugluglugluglugluglugluglugluglug

>I observe the world around me, relaxing on my comfortable, couch like, bench seat
>The engine reaches 160 degrees and I hear a pleasant, electronic, *bing doo* sound to draw my attention
>I open the choke up
>Disengage the parking brake and coast down to the base of my driveway
>I slide into 1st gear and idle lazily down my drive

>I pull out onto the main street by my house, gradually accelerating up to 2600 rpm in every gear
>Navigate the streets to a burrito shop a few miles from my sector of the city
>Purchase said burrito
>Drive back towards home

>Notice the frantic morning traffic around me
>I cruise on, at or a mile or two per hour above the speed limit
>People drive erratically, panicked, to get around me
>They don't care about their safety or anyone else's

>I decide to have some fun with them...

>At the next light, as usual they take off in a panicked manner, bumbling down the road erratically
>At the same time staring at their phones or otherwise not paying attention

>I'll give them some... auditory entertainment