>You're going vmax

hello spider, it is I, driver.

>>16272074
>panic
>spin and crash
>jump out of car
>burn car

b...but I don't like spiders

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THIS IS NOW A SPIDER THREAD

Spiders are cool, but if that was a wasp fuck it I'm out.

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>>16272074
something along the lines of this

>>16272074
Nothing. It has happened to me before. It won't bite you, unless you're fucking with it. Just pull over, and grab it by the web its hanging from, and put it outside. Easy peezy, if i do get bit, just take a picture of the fucking spider and go get antivenom, wow that wasn't hard at all.

I keep a hacked lighter/flame thrower in my car for just such an occasion. Spiders hate flame.

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>>16273046

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>>16273051

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>>16273051

If it was a wasp I would fucking panic and probably crash

It already happened to me once

>Hot day
>Already paranoid about wasps so I always check if there is one nearby
>No signs of wasps
>Get in the car
>Pull out of parking
>Notice wasp coming out of the passenger footwell
>PANIC
>Unfasten seat belt as fast as I can while still reversing out of parking
>Have to decide if I want to lose time putting the car in neutral, stopping and engaging ebrake or not
>Fuck it, I'm out
>Jump out of still moving car
>Wasp follows me
>Run like 50m from the car
>There is now an empty car with an open door rolling at like 2km/h in reverse in the middle of a parking lot
>Looks like wasp is gone
>Go back In the car
>Park it back where it was
>Contemplate for half an hour where the fucker may have come from and how could I let my car have such a disastrous security breach

For the following week I kept being absolutely scared of driving my car because I thought they found a way to get inside even with the car closed

Scary shit

>>16272636

>Not just setting it down in the passenger seat and forgetting about it.

>>16272074
Keep driving. Pull over somewhere near a tree or sign. Get out of the car, and use the squeegee handle/snowbrush from my trunk to move it outside.

Jewel Spider bites aren't any worse than mosquito bites, and they are the slowest, laziest, chillest motherfuckers in the whole arachnid order.

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>>16273051

>>16272117
My sister has a dead wasp stuck down by her windscreen. She says its a warning to the others.

I think my sister might be insane.

>>16273345
One time I dropped the convertible top, and got swarmed by wasps for some reason. The effect of the air swirling over the wind screen caused a wasp tornado in the cabin.

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>>16272074
Nice second gen legacy

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One crawled in my helmet once. It was unpleasant. When I took the helmet off I never saw it leave so I figured it stayed in the vents and I worried about him crawling out on my face while riding for like the next month after that.

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>>16272074
>fiat_spider.jpg
>clearly a Subaru Legacy
You can't fool me, OP, I'd recognize that interior anywhere

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>>16273046

imagine if the owner punched the sunvisor, exploding its guts everywhere

and they leave it there because they're too afraid/disgusted to open it

and then two years later you purchase this car and on a particularly beautiful but blinding sunset you drop down the visor

>>16273549
Thanks a whole fucking lot for now making me look behind the sun visors of every used car I'll ever look at. That'll make me look savvy and not-at-all weird.

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>>16272074
That's an orb weaver aka spiderbro.

I'd probably do pic related (or scream like a little bitch) for a second or 2 until I realized what kind of spider it was

>>16273604
Orb Weavers are confirmed for bro tier.

>>16273659
>>16273604
I thought they were murderous cunts

>>16273672
No way, Orb Weavers just want to chill and eat mosquitoes. They only get aggressive when you fuck with them.

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>>16273604
There was a pair of Golden Orb Weavers (pic related) living in a tree by my house a few years ago. I named them Ginger and Mary Ann, and would toss flies and other nuisance insects into their web from time to time.

>>16273604
>>16273659
I also concur Orb Weaver's bro status. Video proves that Black Widows are bitch tier.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pHbN0Uyu_A

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so I have a spider(s) living in my brake lights and wing mirror. I have never actually seen one of them, but the weebs keep reappearing. I call him spooder von spiderbush. Am I particularly autistic for doing this or do other people have wing spiders?

>>16272190
masterfully done.

respect.

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>>16273046
>>16273051

Enough internet for today.

>>16273476

are you friendly grandmom?

because attaching those reindeer parts is what friendly grandmoms do to their subarus.

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>>16272074
yfw you see big spider

>>16272074
>Pull over
>Collect spoder in hands
>Throw spoder out of car
I'm not a little bitch who gets spooked by a spider but I also won't kill them just for existing

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>>16273051

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>>16273051
>>16273046
CANT WAKE UP

>>16273549
Hah reminds me of when I discovered the car I bought had two wasp nests in the wheelwells. Good shit.

>>16274164
My mum has one living in her driver side mirror.
I can remove the web as much as I like but he just rebuilds it

>Grab helmet
>Bash it around a bit
>Step on gloves
>Grab boots from duffel bag
>Be riding for 5 minutes when a baby huntsman starts crawling up chin
>Spider panics and heads for the cranium
>Rider panics

Pooped my pants.
>Stop off at payless plastics on the way home
>All riding gear goes into giant seal-able plastic bin from now on

I've had spiderbros travel with me before.
No big deal, really, I enjoy the company.

>>16272074
Panic, shit my pants, possibly yank the steering out of shock.

One time I had a beetle in my car, suddenly noticed it while doing 180km/h on the motorway. It was crawling along the roof. I was worried the fucker would lose grip and drop into my face.

I got to where I was going 10 minutes later and cleaned it out, but it was scary.

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>>16273046
>>16273051
This isn't happening

>>16272074
ignore it.

Spiders hanging in a web are cool, I only hate unpredictable ground spiders.

>>16272074
>slow down
>assess my situation
>pull over if I can
>remove spider
Alternatively, the spider hides in my car when I try to get it, thus leaving me forever spooked

>>16273345
I know this feel. never buy a red car. I swear the bright color attracts. wasps are like my worst fucking fear.

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>>16272074

>>16273345
I have never been stung my a wasp. Just never. One time I stepped into one but that hardly counts. Don't get the fear.

>>16276039
Me neither, but I never swung at them either.

There was an idiot in school once who had one around him in class, and kept swinging at it like a fucking idiot despite everyone including the teacher telling him to stop and it will go away, but the moron just kept swinging.

Dumbass farmers son.

>>16276046
when you slap them hard enough they bust into pieces, i wouldnt do it around a nest but id slap the shit out of one following me

>>16273046
Nyawwww it's a cute lil huntsman

>>16272121
Hngg

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>>16272121
>tfw no vtec

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>>16272074
Only a little one

>>16276039
I have never been stung either, I just fucking run for my life when I see one so I never even get in a situation where they could inject their load of hatred and desolation into my body.

I think my fear started as a kid when I found out you can die if you are allergic. I still don't know if I'm allergic or not, but I don't care anymore, my fear is so strong at this point that finding out i'm not allergic wouldn't change much.
Same thing with bees, but I am a little less paranoid about them since they aren't as aggressive as wasps.

Man, fuck wasps, I'd rather be surrounded by spiders than having to share the same room with a fucking wasp.

>>16272074
If the spider is in a web or on a thread, I would just slow down gradually, pull over, grab the web, and remove it.

>>16273051
That however is cause for stabbing the visor with a large knife in the hopes that I can kill the spider before it sees my arm and jumps on my face.

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>>16276434
>jumps on my face

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>>16273046
>>16273051

>>16276039
I have the fear because I'm deadly allergic to them and my shots for them are 20 years old, that's if I still have them somewhere.

>>16272074
I found a Black Widow hanging out in my nest of little trees once

I panicked for a sec and then grabbed my little tree nest and tossed it when I got home

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SPIDER REPORTING IN

>>16276613

There are meds you can take with you anywhere.
It's a little bottle you just down in one go in case some faggot wasp decides to fuck you up and your wind pipe gets blocked.

>>16273046
Croiky

What a beaut

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>>16273046
>>16273051

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>>16272101
>>16272110
>>16272121
>>16276687
how did they come up with calling those roadsters "spider"? what was the reason? and why are there so many cars from different brands with similar features that have the same exact name? how is that even possible?

>>16276039
I've been stung several times before as a kid. It just gets a bit red for like 2 hours and then it goes away, no swelling, nothing. Hurt like a bitch.

Still hate them.

>mfw I die historic

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>>16273576

>>16272074
>light up a spliff

>>16272074

>hit brakes
>spider swings forwards
>swipe the web with my finger
>fling it out the window

Pretty much what I do every time one drops from my sun visor

>>16276849
fucking australians

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>>16273051

>>16276710
It refers to something ancient from when cars were just invented. IIRC it had to do with a metal structure holding a temporary roof that looked vaguely like a spider as opposed to permanent roofs.

So they were like the ancestors of convertibles and the name somehow stuck until today.

It's a bit like how the term shooting brake refers to horse carriages or some ancient shit like that

>>16276795
underhanded little fucker

>>16273051
"Death or serious injury can occur"

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>>16276849

>hit brakes
>spider sways forward, away from your face

>because of the hard braking someone rear ends you

>you say "FUUUUCK"

>because of impact spider sways back fast directly into your open mouth

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>>16273051

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>>16273345

I've started finding brown widows in my car regularly. nothing's more terrifying that opening a door and seeing the wire-like webbing and no spider. For some reason they really like hiding under my driver seat. The last one I found was pretty big, my friend subtly mentioned that he hoped that she didn't lay any eggs somewhere. Are those bug bombs good enough to kill widows?

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>>16276714
Jesus Christ

had a bee or wasp or something in my helmet while doing like 65mph once time. Luckily I didn't panic, but it was an "OH SHIT" moment when I saw it. Turned my head and opened my visor for a sec to let it out and continued on my way.

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>>16273521
I need a dual sport for country cruising. looks so free and chill.

Bee story (I'm allergic)

>Riding in m8s mazda b series,
>bee comes in through cowboy window and lands on my shoulder.
>I scream and flick the bee.
>Bee is pissed
>We get out at a stop sign and are trying to get the bee out of the car.
>A wild cop appears
>"Bee in the car!"
>waves and drives off
>Get back in the truck
>Remember we were smoking a blunt and I've had it in my hand the entire time.
today was a good day

>>16272074
From experience - pulled right the fuck over and grabbed my knife. Tried to get the spider to hang off the knife, but he ran back up under the visor and up into the headliner.

>>16273422
She is enlightened. I always leave dead wasps where I killed them.

this morning there was a spider ontop of the parking meter for the spot i parked in. i wished him good day as i quickly jammed quarters in and went on my way.

>>16279266
>mazda bee series
>surprised when a bee comes in to hang

>>16279054
No, it's an old jewish trick.
Spiders are not insects, so not all insecticides work on them.

I'd think in my head "wait a sec, I do dxm, not dph... What is this?"

That said, I've learned to leave my car overnight with the top up in the summer because there's nothing like driving and having 2 cockroaches come out of different parts of the dashboard. I killed one with a sandal and flicked the other out of my driver's door (I opened it) while driving. Dirty south problems.

>>16279297
youre mental bro

>Be me, 12 years ago
>Driving to work in a '90 Mustang
>See something like a raindrop fall from the headliner
>Aww shit I hope that's no leak
>Reach up to feel headliner
>No leak, just a hair... or string...
>Aww shit it's a spider web
>Just as I realize what it is, ugly hairy fucking nope crawls over the steering wheel
>It's a big fucking jumping-variety nope
>Twitchy little fucker looks around, gnashes his pedapalps around like a Jew who saw a baby with a quarter
>I say "don't you fucking ju...."
>8-legged Jew jumps at me, legs sprawled out
>Swing and somehow punch the damn thing straight into the window
>It flies off and lands somewhere
>All over the damn road
>Look down, it's on my crotch
>Punch it
>Direct hit... d...d...d...double kill
>Realized I punches the twins in the process
>Still all over the road
>Wonder why it hurts in my stomach when I get hit in the nuts

>>16272074
Cool, now your car is a spider.

There are worse things