You're at a stop light and this smug faggot pulls up next

shoot him

>>16033281
Shoot him

>>16033281
I don't know, maybe I'll shoot him?

"OK"
>Launch big turbo gsx
>Look In mirror and see old man crying
>Chuckle and continue on with my day

Dsm a best

leno dont say that. he would be saying: we havent got any of those ford falcon turbos here you want to sell it?

File: 1427811749728.jpg (23KB, 723x720px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 723x720px

>>16033281

throw a shoe at him and drive away

>>16033308
you dont know how fast a 427 cobra is do you? the only one who will be crying is you. it will blow you into the next century without trying.

Roll my eyes.
>light goes green
> i-VTEC kicks in yo

>>16033281
Shoo him

>>16033281
Proposition him, sex for chance to browse his garage.

File: 1990-Eagle-Talon-TSi-Turbo-AWD-Hatchback-Mitsubishi-Eclipse-DSM-4G63T-1G-2.jpg (1MB, 1300x867px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1300x867px

>>16033325
> 1965 Shelby Cobra 427 S/C 0-60 mph 4.5 | Quarter mile 12.5
> Later versions even slower.

A GT30R DSM will beat that by a little.
A GT35R DSM will fuck that shit up and blow even Leno's mind.

>>16033441
>thinking he will risk some heathen keying his invaluable car collection just for a quick blowjob

>>16033451
It's all in the shifts bro, Jay has been driving for more years than you've eaten hot meals.

File: 20161007_120244.jpg (2MB, 2560x1440px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2560x1440px

I'd either be driving my mazdaspeed3 or my Insight. Neither of which I would consider trailer trash, so I'd just think he was on another whiskey binge and report him to the police for driving while intoxicated.

Seriously tho, does pic related look like it would be worth the fuel to race? By the time I was in second gear, he'd be in another county. The mazdaspeed3, meh, I might keep up with him enough to see his comb-over wafting in the breeze.

File: image.jpg (89KB, 495x467px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 495x467px

Seeing as I dd this I'll be fine

>>16033281
>Rev to 6750
>Dump the clutch
>Head gasket explodes again
>Win by default when boiling coolant hits Jay in the face

ROVER WINS AGAIN

>>16033281
Piss in my cup and throw it at him.

>>16033281
>ALLAHU AKBAR

and throw a rod at him

File: latest[1].png (346KB, 615x453px) Image search: [Google]

346KB, 615x453px

>>16033530
this is the spirit

File: 2ff5b5b3e55f4acd61598680ff4e5245.jpg (170KB, 1044x652px) Image search: [Google]

170KB, 1044x652px

>>16033483
>>16033281
Prepare to both die

What's the best Leno vid?

>implying he wouldn't offer to help you fix it

PISS BALLOON
I
S
S

B
A
L
L
O
O
N

Whoop his ass. A cobra is fast, but a C5 Z06 is faster :^)

File: i484533[1].jpg (95KB, 891x498px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 891x498px

squirt (one could also say shoot) hot oil into his face and wobble off

File: 1473965507471.gif (2MB, 299x180px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 299x180px

>>16033281
The aerodynamic drag of his chin will slow him down so much that my shitbox will win

File: civic.jpg (76KB, 1024x577px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 1024x577px

early launch my $3k civic and smoke him

File: 20160813_101955.jpg (3MB, 4032x2268px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 4032x2268px

>>16033281
Pop a dank power whoolie in first gear then run home and upload the vid on youtube.

>>16033281
Claim PTSD. Post Traumatic Sight of Denim

File: 8oz_Duke's_Mayo.jpg (2MB, 2112x3420px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2112x3420px

This is why I always keep a jar of mayo in my car.

Open it, toss the jar into his car and drive away.

File: koenigsegg-one1-smartphone-app_100458337_l[1].jpg (103KB, 1024x805px) Image search: [Google]

103KB, 1024x805px

I give him this look.

Real talk boys this thread had me chucklin' 'n' chortlin'

Of course it knocks. 5.9 swap
>boost lean begins the black cloud
>light turns green, rocket ahead, leaving a literal black cloud spewing from the back that would rival a space launch

>>16033451
> later versions even slower
all the cobra's varied quit a bit. Even the 427 engine ones would have different carb sets ups depending on customers fancy. With modern timers the 427 will do 60 in 3.6s.

The 428s were indeed a bit slower.

>>16033281
Jay Leno wouldn't do that, he appreciates all kinds of cars.

>>16033451
Was that with polyglass wheels back in the 60s? Those things are fucking garbage

>>16033281
I have a 3 rotor inside of an RX8 built for touge.

>I mean if we are being hypothetical...

>>16033462
Jokes on you cock, I don't need to shift.

Automagic masterrace

>>16033281
>oh yeah? how about your daddy's Viper?

>>16033281
i would be really upset that jay leno is a mean person IRL

>>16033688
Eggman! I'm too fast for you!

>>16033462
Jay's pretty self deprecating about his driving skills, I don't think I've seen him exercise any amount of talent in a video but that's probably on purpose.

https://youtu.be/uIYIDqQwfus


As for the OP I'd give him a thumbs up, do my best to launch it if there were no cops and lift at the speed limit.
>tfw you don't feel 16 and invincible anymore

>>16033281
"okay"

>>16033281
In my dreams
>"Let's see if your geriatric ass can get through those gears fast enough then, pops."
>Rev Roadmaster
In real life
>"Y-You too"

>>16035233
Jay Leno was taking bad lines through every corner

>rev it up like BAM BAM BAM
>drop it into D for maximum respect
he wouldn't stand a chance

>>16033281
>Drive into him

>>16033451

Yeah, maybe.

But the 427 will still have a crank afterwards.

File: To'hajiilee.jpg (802KB, 1024x682px) Image search: [Google]

802KB, 1024x682px

>>16035523
Conveniently, the crankwalk issue was only on engines installed after a point halfway through the 1992 model year; I posted a 1990.

>>16035959
Ho ho ho, technicality saves my faltering argument.

Eat several dicks.

>>16033281
Ask why he wants to race a 20 year old in a stock Subaru Outback

File: 1987_ford_thunderbird_thunderbird_turbo_coupe_100775602008715170.jpg (266KB, 1200x900px) Image search: [Google]

266KB, 1200x900px

>>16033281
Wonder about the looks on his face when this heavy car with a little 4 cylinder kick his ass

>"its my grandmothers car, its really not that fasr"

>>16033281
>Rev cbr
>u wot m8
>whoolie away

>REVREVREVREV
>blow apex seals

>>16035978
I see you're a classy individual, anon.

I suggest you try:
>>>/b/

File: 1466652909509.jpg (42KB, 480x442px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 480x442px

>>16033281
I roll down the windows because I can't hear a word he's saying.

>>16035959

That was my first car.

Fucking loved that thing.