Shitty Cars You Want

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>>15804339
not a car because I just bought a $3500 shitbox
>cbr 900
>Would be kill in 1 week because florida drivers

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Comfy ass interior, awd, 360hp, Love the style.

High maintenance, expensive parts for said maintenance, guzzles gas.

>>15804339
I don't think it's even all that bad, it's based on the DEW platform, which is what the Ford Thunderbird/Lincoln LS are based on. I know the 3.0 V6 models use the Ford Duratec 30 which is fairly solid. The 2.5 was the Duratec 25. The Duratec 30 made appearances in the Lincoln LS and the Madza6, which I know were reliable cars.

94-ish Town Car

/ C O M F Y A S F U C K / I just can't find any single owner, low mileage specimen for less than a small fortune.

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>>15804339
Fun meme car

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OP that's a very unfortunate choice as far as Jaguars are concerned. For $7000-10000 you can get pic related in very good condition here in Switzerland - S-Types are almost as expensive and the all around worse car.
Also, most of the manual S-Types I found were diesels, so that's not such a great advantage either (plus the X300 XJR was also available in manual - they're impossible to find though).

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This or a 156.

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Probably one of these, always thought they were cool looking things.

Thing is, they're basically a crappier Mitsubishi Lancer/Mirage and the later ones had issues with the ECU.

Plus I already have a car and a motorbike, don't really want a second car right now.

>>15804339
Owned a V8 (automatic), green exterior with light leather interior, in perfect condition. Knew the owner (dentist, surprise motherfucker) who had it since day one. Never had a problem with it.

Definitely a comfy car for the rate they go at. Every second hand car is a risk of course so don't expect anecdotal evidence here to mean shit.

>>15805417
Ye don't get me wrong I'd love an X308, but I'm an autist for manual transmissions and can see myself getting bored of actually driving an auto like that quite quickly. I know they offered them with a manual but I've never seen one for sale with one ever, my understanding is it was a rarely chosen option.

XJ's just look so amazing though.

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V6 catfish. It doesn't even make sense in the US, and I'm in Europe.

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>>15805496
accept no substitute anon

>>15804339
3KGT VR4
I want a second more fun vehicle and I've always wanted a 3KGT but I know the headache will make me regret it.

Any current Lexus or Infiniti RWD sedan as a base tuner platform to troll poor peasants.

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>>15806674

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>>15804646
Why are then an abundance at sub £1000 then? Just depreciation and the unfavourable appearance?

I think it would be funny as fuck blowing the doors off kids in their Fiesta ST's in an old mans car.

>>15804339
I have a Lincoln LS V6 bought cheap due to a fuel pump failure that the prior owner just didn't want to deal with. Anyway what I'm finding is that the platforms foibles are well known and parts are relatively cheap for the most part. Common failures are degas bottles, window regulators, alternators (because they're overtaxed and only air cooled) and the most annoying one is the Dual Climate Control Valve (DCCV) which controls coolant flow through the heater core instead of using blend doors. Also they invariably fail open so it's full heat all the time.

The cars are as sensitive to suspension wear as the most finicky BMW so expect work to be needed there. Interestingly, Jaguar considered the LS to be too firm and the S Type is sprung a bit softer.

When driving, the car HATES going into corners power-off and really rewards using power through the curve. Problem is the auto trans is irritating as hell (downshifts, converter unlock/lock at inopportune times) so the manual is definitely needed to take advantage of the chassis in a pleasing manner.

L I N C O L N
T O W N
C A R

>>15808009
Interesting.

To be fair I don't really care if the superficial shit breaks I'm used to driving cars like that. So long as the engine and gearbox are solid I'm sold.

I've heard they like to eat up rear suspension components, makes me worry about how they would last being driven hard as I only drive cars hard as I don't commute by car.

Are they fun to drive? I had a B5 A4 quattro prior to looking at these and found the understeer to be pretty dull. Got more into BMW's after spending extended time as a passenger in one and being amused at it wanting to go sideways literally everywhere. It's hard to find an 'enthusiast' review of such a car given it's a comfybox, but I can't see how 240bhp + RWD + manual can be boring.

>>15808029
>tfw no comfy american landbarge

>>15806674
makes a lot of sense in yurop and you can get them quite cheap at least where I live v8s are expensive and not present in my shitty country, just go for it or save some money you won't regret it

>>15808029
>panther
>shitty

>>15808054
What they "eat" is mostly rear tie rod assemblies. They use a form of passive rear steer which amounts to a large glob of rubber at the mid point of the tie rod link that deflects under load. This wears fairly quickly of course (@50K-ish) and causes the rear to do all sorts of weird gyrations as the rear toe flops around. Their other premature failure is front upper ball joint dust boots that dry rot and lead to upper ball joint wear. Oh, and sway bar end links of course. Most everything else wears at expected rates for a mid size sport sedan.

Fun to drive? Sorta I guess. I had a 96 Audi A6 that had a great "Wheee!" factor going around curves at moderate speeds. I'm convinced it was due to copious amounts of body roll and the general feel that the car pivoted somewhere just behind the driver along with the impression of being pulled around the curve not unlike a roller coaster car.

The LS is nothing like that. I'd almost say they forgot to put the fun in except for the wonderful feeling it provides when you do manage to find a curve where you can be on the power all the way through without being "that guy" on public roads. Even with the V6 it can go all ludicrous speed on these backwoods state highways but at the same time all the V6 can do is balance the car, it doesn't really have the oomph to steer with the throttle. General impression is of being pushed through the curve on top of pivot point with the front end moving side-to-side to provide the steering.

>>15808384
Sounds like an E39 might fit my driving style more, disappointing desu. Can't exactly go take a test drive and start driving like a maniac to find out.

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>>15804339

>>15804459
These are INSANELY cheap where I live. Think regularly below 2 grand.

I know I really shouldn't, but I kinda want one just for the V8.

>>15805417
S types are about half of that

Ecoboost

An old Mercedes C Class. Something about their design makes me feel warm inside.

>>15810116
*also when was Mercedes still good? Pre-2000s?

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WHY /o/??

WHY MUST I DESIRE THIS FAGMOBILE

>>15809924

The problem is that they almost always seem to need a new timing belt, rollers and water pump at a minimum when bought used. I've been doing research on getting one.

Other common things to look at were shattered intake actuator arms, steering rack leakage, rear differential leakage, AC/Sunroof drain blockage issues & various burnt out relays stemming from water damage based on said drainage issues.

All of these are fixable & parts can be easily sourced. Surprisingly it's not as expensive as expected if you look for parts & the work doesn't look that hard to do yourself.

But all of these parts do add up fast if multiple systems are failing at once.If you're relying on a mechanic for all the maintenance you're going to pay and pay dearly.

Also Oil changes, Tranny Service, Brakes & tires are damn near double what a domestic car is.

But then again, 360hp, 320ft-lbs, Quattro all wheel drive, quad disk brakes, 5.4sec 0-60 time, a big ass comfy leather interior, 12 speaker sound system all in a big, badass looking/sounding tank of a car?

I'd sell my soul for less.

I want a clean as fuck 560SEC black ext. on black or grey interior.

Would literally be all the car I'd ever need. I would baby the fuck out of it.

>>15810310
Except that's not a shitty car unless you're one of those people that equate old with shitty.

>>15807499
>sub £1000
Why are used cars so cheap there?

>>15807499
I've been there in a ford LTD, Anon.

It was awesome.

Especially after i got good speakers.

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>>15805496
Swapping in a 4G63T and Evo VI drivetrain into one of these would be pretty cool. Would make a mean hot hatch and nobody knows what Proton is.

A body kit like that in yellow, Evo bonnet and black fender flares would look sick.

>>15810375
Ministry of Transport (MoT) inspections that basically make old cars not worth the hassle for most people.

>>15807499
They're cheap because Jag ruined their reputation with their older cars, so they depreciate like a rock because people think it will be like the horror stories of old. Also people who are Jag purists don't like them because they're Ferds

>>15810201
Have you driven one? That's why I want one. I decided to go into a dealership to kill some time, ended up test driving an Abarth and it was a ton of fun. Definitely the most fun I've had in a FWD car.

In 2012 I had a 94 BMW 525i that I got for a thousand dollars. It had 222K on the clock. Drove it for 6 months.

Then the inevitable happened. Plastic water pump impeller sheared off. It overheated and cracked the head. Sold it for 700. Not bad all things considered but if I had known about the water pump being an issue on those cars, I would have replaced it straight away.

>>15809924
>regularly below 2 grand

Where do you live?

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i already bought
and i'll likely buy another one

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>car people will hate because its an suv
> /o/ will hate because bmw
>normies will hate because its an old bmw which means i'm poor

I just love the look of this thing

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Opel Calibra
Nice roomy 90s coupe+good engines
Problem is that it's a 20 years old car at best so it would be all kinds of fucked up

>>15812439
For all the hate they get, the X5 isn't that bad. In all honesty. It's not great at off roading, but it has a lot of room and handles like a mid sized sedan rather than a full sized SUV.

>>15804339
sup Tyrone

>>15812178
The Netherlands, of all places. A country infamous for hugely inflated new car prices and high cost of ownership in general, but decent used car prices for some reason.

>>15812959
No black guy has ever driven a Jaguar ever, atleast thats how it is in the UK.

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This, cause i'm kinda tempted to make a project muscle truck

>>15814460
This is true. Black people drive BMWs exclusively.

S-Types are cheap for a reason. The mechanical parts are sound but all of the electrics are just as sketchy as 70s jags. Then there is the fuel economy that doesn't appeal to the sort of person that buys £1000 cars and the "old man" image.

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>doesn't turn very well
>V6, FWD, no lsd
>suspension is considered consumable, expect to replace some of it every year
>shitty build quality, interior falls apart
>shitty electrics
Still want one.

>>15814556
Ugly as shit too.

>>15806992
:D KEKBRING

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I think i'm gonna do it anyway

Thinking of getting a W210 e320 or 280 as a beater/drift car next summer

>>15804459
Mein neger

>>15804339
>Then I remember the reason they are so cheap is because they are money pits

They really aren't that bad, the automatic gearboxes shit themselves but everything else is pretty solid.

The X type can be a money pit with the AWD system and rust but as far as I know the S is fine.

Lots of sub £1k ones because no one wants a big petrol saloon with a "big" (by UK standards) engine. And if they did want something like that, they would buy a 5 series. And in fairness the E39 is a better car, but that only makes these cheaper and at that price point who really cares?

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Pro:
>It's a GTI

Con:
>It's a fucking lupo.

Miata Is Always The Answer

>>15805436
It's like a more luxurious 626 with a KF V6, nothing shitty about that.

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>16 year old
>Opel >(GM)
>not that fast
>FWD
>best looking car in existence while also blending in with other bland shitboxes
I love it.
>>15804360
It's a relatively good and relatively bad car at the same time. Relatively to other cars in general, it's a slow, small shitbox. But relatively to other slow small shitboxes, it's the best in its class.
>>15812598
I really like the looks of the Calibra as well but the big problem is rustproofing. Also, FWD.
>>15814556
I really don't understand the appeal of any Alfa apart from the Mito and Giulietta. I think people want it just to be noticed as a special snowflake.
>>15817489
Drop a different engine in it when the wankel explodes and you've got yourself a nice weekend warrior car.

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Know a guy who has one for sale, freshly built engine done right. ~ 400 whp & Turboed at ~ 25 psi... Switching to this from a mostly stock 03 wrx will probably end up killing myself (snap oversteer)

>>15820617
What are those wheels?

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I get why Murica can't have kei cars, but I love them.

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cos 5 cylinder, fairly rapid and quite nice looking.

but i cant afford to run anything but diesels, so it's a d5 :DDD

>>15818320
>not that fast
They were available with a 200hp+ turbo engine which was pretty fast at the time (the Golf GTi had 150hp, for comparison)