>reconnect battery >airbags deploy

>turn on defroster
>radio turns off

>turn on headlights
>rough stumbling idle goes away

>blinker stops working
>take it out of the housing to replace the bulb
>it starts working again

>Push in brake pedal
>Idle drops to 400rpm

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>>15556064

I work at an auto auction and you would not believe how many times I have had this happen.

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>turn wheel to lock
>engine stalls

>>15556375
>delete power-steering
>engine stalls anyway

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>>15556375
I've got one better
>turn wheel to lock with AC on
>no problem
>turn wheel to lock with AC and hold it there
>engine stalls
>turn off AC and keep wheel at lock
>no problem
>turn off AC and stop at sign, wheel slightly turned
>engine stalls leaving stop
>turn on AC and do the same all over town with mechanic with me
>no problem

>push brake pedal in
>it goes all the way down

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>turn on ecoboost
>car rapes me

>>15556064
>Do something in my car
>Car does exactly what it should do
>Feel good i take care of my cars so they don't fall apart and everything mechanical and electrical works right

>>15556438
>Turn on car
>nothing is wrong
>am still a faggot
>you

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>push gas pedal in
>instant regret

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>>15556462
>implying

I once had an old s10 that when you hit the gas the brake likes came on, but if you held the brakes at the same time as the gas the lights went off, the brake lights also worked when you didn't press the gas. I drove it like that for 4 years.

>>15556425
>cry because your brake lines just snapped
>hit telephone pole

>>15556450
>Doesn't maintain his cars
>Gets mad at people maintaining their cars
Impressive

>>15556481
>Not using engine braking

Autocucks needs no apply.

>>15556592
Or
>Not knowing how to use parking brake in emergency.

>tfw had a kei truck in pakistan
>tfw brake cylinder leaked one day
>all fluid gone
>dad uses engine braking cos manual and hand brake to stop at all traffic lights
>clench factor too high.

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>turn AC on
> Rough idle goes away

What could it be?

>>15556650
Try cleaning throttle body, if that doesn't do anything.

Try replacing coolant temperature sensor.

Also what car, what year?

>>15556650
>turn AC off
>shifting gears isn't as jerky as before(because the revs aren't dropping as much when pressing clutch in)
the fuck

>>15556967
>Turn AC on
>shifts are finally smooth because the revs are dropping fast enough
>turn AC off
>mandatory two second 2-3 upshift

>>15557025
turbo diesel as well?

>>15556650
Idle air controller?

>>15556064
>>airbags deploy
cut them out and have extra storage
you wont need those air sacs unless you are a pussy

>change front passenger tyre
>Halo lights stop working

>>15558091
idol penis conditioner.

>>15556564
What sort of "maintenance" will make a car's electronics never malfunction? I'd love to know.

All of your cars are possessed by my dead grandfather's soul.

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>>15556437
>Turn on RS
>Oil seal starts to leak
>Only had it 1000 miles
Glad I didn't fall for the meme

>>15558355
Preventative maintenance as prescribed by the BMW general - ask your parents to buy you another used base 3 series once a year

>>15556375
ej25 owner here, I know this feel

>>15558375
>the oil seal
>THE oil seal
>the single solitary oil seal
>...

>>15558560
he never even said "the," you turbo autist

>>15556160
you are giving me SE-R Spec V flashbacks

>>15556153
Bad idle air control
>>15556375
Bad idle air control
>>15556407
Bad ground
>>15556480
Low brake fluid
>>15556650
Bad idle air control

>>15556064
>Make thread
>Get replies

>>15556633
one time for work I had to pick up an auto g35.
>owner left a note (USE PARKING BRAKE)
>I hop in and start it, foot on brakes.
>feels like it has like maybe 5% of pad left.
>put it in drive, nope it scoots forward
>use foot operated ON/OFF style parking brake (why infiniti would use this in a coupe style car i don't know)
>have to drive it 5 miles in traffic
>cautions on hand out window waving people past
>only way to brake is triptronic 1-2 gears and foot parking brake
>can't do more than 20 safely anyways
>lots of people honking even with cautions on
>got cut off once and barely stopped

got there eventually but god damn

>>15558753
Meh, should have had it towed.

>Reconnect battery
>Clamps snap
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>15558790
probably but my boss is a jew and the customer was a poorfag

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>>15558560
>The
Damn man, trying to put words into my mouth just like you put cocks into yours.

>>15558264
>driving a bmw

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>turn left on highway
>engine starves

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>turn on car
>grind noise
>car turns off by itself
>get out

timing chain tensioner?

>>15559783
Grinding is such a generic sound in cars desu senpai.

Listen to where the sound is coming from. It can be transmission or engine or something else.

>>15559011
You say it like there's only one oil seal you fucking retard. Walk into a shop, tell them to fix your oil seal.

>Turn high beams on
>ABS light turns off

>>15559819
Find your service manual and see if you can find wiring diagram.

Observe ABS related wires and High beam related wire

See if they're ever close to each other.

Also does ABS work without high beams on? Go in a parking lot preferably after some rain acclerate to 10-20 and slam on brakes. You should feel as though the car is jerking and you should feel your brake pedal get harder and softer.

>>15556064
depower the srs dipshit

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>>15559809
>places a word in that I didn't say
>calls me a retard
>tripfagging
>ford cuck
>this assmad
Did your tard wrangler lose you or something?
>eyy bruv, my oil seal is leaking
>which one?
>the that's leaking

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>turn key
>car starts

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>Put in new battery
>corroded wipers comes on, screeching across the windshield

>fit new wipers
>rainy day soon after
>turn wipers on
>some small metal security tag I didn't see still attached to the left-hand one
>semi-circular scratch all the way across half the windshield

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>Turn key
>tututututuututututututu *BANG*

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>Turn key
>Car cranks, doesn't fire
>Crank 20 more times
>Car starts, has started every time without fail since

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>>15558694
shut your nigger hole.

>>15556064
>turn key
>car starts
>hear a knock
>listening intently for that knock
>can't hear it
>drive away
>sitting at red light
>hear knock out of no where
>turn off radio listening for it intently
>can't hear anything but the engine humming
>bitch behind me honks horn
>the light is green
>continue home
>get home
>pull in driveway
>hear knock again
>where is it?
>I must find out why
>please speak to me

>>15559054
>Not knowing E39 comfiness

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>turn off radio
>engine starts knocking

>>15560733
My guess is some small obstruction around throttle body or intake.

Unless it was fuel system.

>this whole thread
i thought /o/ took care of it's cars, what's going on here?

>>15560765
Why didn't you just ask who was there?

>open rear left door
>spare tire appears in passenger seat

>>15560973
Wut

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>reconnect battery
>engine starts

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>look at passenger seat
>no is there
>no one has ever been there
>no one will be there

>>15561312
>tfw haven't vacuumed the passenger side nor back seat in months because they are still spotless

>roll down window further than 60%
>entire lock assembly gets sucked into window mechanism

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>>15561326

>roll down window all of the way
>it doesn't come back up

>replace brake caliper
>wife tells joke
>i laugh
>she laughs
>the spark plugs laugh
>decepticon

>friend borrows my truck
>leaves dome light on
>battery dies
>hooks up jumper cables wrong
>blows every fuse on it
>alternator goes full retard
>battery is toast
>still doesnt run right

I think something fucked in the wiring but its only about a $1500 truck so I am just going to part it and scrap the rest.

>>15561390
>roll down my trash bag covering my window
>gets sucked out going 55

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>replace punctured tire
>new tire blows next day
>fix vacuum leak
>transmission starts grinding
>replace tire again
>blows again, destroying vintage hubcap
>replace wipers
>wiper motor stops working

JUST LET ME LOVE YOU

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>>15556462
Get carolla sport zx sz type R

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>a/c no longer blows cold air and hasn't for almost three years
>driver's side window jumped track years ago
>visor clip broke and it hangs at a 49 degree angle
>shocks are toast
>needs alignment

>the moment I actually address any of these issues, nine more will occur

when will this ride end

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>turn key
>cold idle is 2000 rpm for more than 3 seconds
>turn key, pop hood and tap on tps
>turn key
>idle is now 3000 rpm
>only 1 mile from home
>e-z.webm

It was an interesting drive. I had to shift up when slowing down in order to bog the engine to lose speed.
>mfw the first time i tried to slow down I braked and went from 3rd to 2nd
>that surge of speed

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>open gas cap door
>car remote starts

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>>15556064
For years I've had this nagging fear of the airbags randomly deploying when I turn the key to the "on" position. I can't get over the fact that there's what a little bomb being checked for problems a mere two feet away from me...and sometimes less, if I start the car while not sitting in it

Also
>Have e36
>Germans were nice enough to provide the factory alarm with a complete built-in self-test >However, it does these tests in a puzzlingly un-German fashion, as they take place at random intervals. Sometimes it is every few months, and sometimes it is twice or even three times a day
>Another odd feature is the one that has it so sometimes the alarm does not immediately stop at the keyfob's "shut up already" button, nor to the fact that that the car has been manually opened and started with it's original key
>Sadly, the feature only seems to work properly during hot, relatively low humidity days

Good thing the screecher/ear raper for that shit literally ripped itself off it's flimsy plastic base as I tried unplugging it. Italian electrics in a German car, woohoo!

>>15561452
>Having shitty friends
Lol.

>Friend borrows crv cos he needs to carry shit up north
>Took it 'offroad' as well
>Sends me pics of it hauling WAY over rated
>Covered from wheel to roof in mud and shit
>Plant somehow jammed in bumper and stuck there
>Gives it back to me with a full tank of gas
>Sparkling cos he got it a car wash
>Also waxed it before giving it back.
>Even buffed the wheels, aluminum is sparkling.

I've never borrowed his car though. Idk why he didn't take his subaru, or maybe he needed another car. No idea.

>need to pull fuse for fuel pump while running
>pull next row over by accident
>idle dropped to 1/4 of usual rpm
>shook worse than a harley's idle
>CEL with several new codes
whoops

>browse /o/
>filled with /v/

>>15561521
Sometimes you must realize your shitbox is too shit to keep.

Cut your losses and sell it or junk it.

What car?

>>15561678
Take the airbag fuse out.

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>clutch in
>engine stalls

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>turn off car
>engine still running

>sell perfectly reliable car
>gasoline starts dripping from exhaust while it's leaving
>get recall notice about curtain airbags randomly exploding after it's gone

>>15561743
Tis an inconvenient truth, m'lad.

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>>15560427
>turn key
>car starts
>its the wrong key

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>>15556064

>reconnect battery
>passenger window now works

?????

>>15561902
Old 1970s kei cars would start no matter what was in the barrel.

I gave my cousin a pocket knife and he would start his suzuki alto with the file when he forgot the key inside.

>>15561748

six year old highlander

>>15561914
Lol u had window lock on

>disconnect battery
>Alarm goes off and doesnt stop for minutes

>>15561971
Yup sell it.

It'l sell for crazy high cos toyota meme, and you'll have money for a better car.

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>Turn car on
>Spits and sputters for a bit then stalls
>Turn key again and it starts right up
>It's an automatic, and does it seemingly randomly
>Will also bog down when going around a turn with less than a quarter tank of gas
>Has also stalled coming to a stop, or when put in neutral while moving

Friend says vacuum leak, I say shitty focus

>>15562008
What year?

I had a 2000 focus that went over 500,000 kilometers before i towed it this year cos the rust was too much.

>tfw take to mechanic friend to raise on lift
>car literally starts bending.
>Still drove it home though.

>>15562008
what is the difference?

>>15561976

Nope because the passenger door lock wouldn't work automatically before and I believe it's the same fuse.

>>15562016
2005. It's just hitting 200k miles, but the previous owners were shit. Told me it was sitting for a month or two, but the last registration date was almost two years ago. I'm just surprised the frame hasn't fallen off with how much rust it has

>>15562020
One destroys the value of the car, and the other is a vacuum leak

>>15562076
>Owner treated it like shit
Oh, well there's your problem.

If you care about it, get a tranny flush done. Can't really do it yourself on a focus. Well you can but it's a pain.

If not, get rid of it get a new car.

Kinda sad, my focus was great.

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>>15559801
it sounds like a bad timing chain tensioner. could it be papa?

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>>15556064
I had a car that would die when you hit the brakes while in drive, but was fine if you braked in neutral.

>>15562315
You can hope that maybe it's just a broken guide or something.

But damn man if it's a tensioner, life can get pretty bad.

What car?

Whatever car though, remove valve cover, find the timing chain and rattile it. If there is anymore than a millimeter of play. Then either try tension the chain or if it doesn't tension, then fuck. Replace tensioner.

Some engines you can't replace tensioners either, so man i feel bad for you.

But rattle the chain first.

>hot day
>stop and go traffic
>temp gauge rising
>turn AC on
>temp gauge goes down

>>15558098
>Mfw police find 5 oz of pot where my passenger airbag should be

>>15559290
>Turn left into college parking lot
>Engine cuts out for a second
>Starts back up
>Park
>Go put 15 gallons in my 15 gallon tank on lunch period

Also.

>Be driving home from work
>Car starts sputtering
>Ohshit.jpg
>Pull into self serve gas station
>Car dies
>Coast to the pump
>Put remaining 10 dollars on card into take

Being poor was kind of fun in a really shitty sketchy way

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>>15560765
Sure it isn't lifter tick? Could be low oil pressure causing that.

Also in my old honda the top end of the engine got real noisy before the timing belt broke. I guess it skipped timing and then the added tension on the belt from the valves slapping the pistons eventually made it break.

>Be coasting down a hill after a delivery
>Suddenly hear a weird "ZZZZzzzzz" noise
>Pull over thinking some electrical piece fried
>Realize engine isn't running
>Turn the key and there's no compression
>Pulled the front crash bar off towing it home

That thing was a hilarious hoopty

>>15562456
>Not having money for gas
How poor where you?

I used to save up to put gas in the tank. Had a separate pocket in my wallet for it. There was at least 20 for gas in there. I would starve myself to make sure that 20 stayed.

>>15562481
I don't remember what exactly was going on at that time. All I remember is I didn't have shit for money for some reason and thoight I had enough gas to get to work for the next few days until my paycheck. The 10 bucks of gas got me there and back until my paycheck though so I was good.

I'm doing better now though. I /think/ I was saving hardcore for college at the time which meant I would take most of my paycheck out of the account and stash it away. I had money, just not that I could spend.

+ I bought some pot that week which put me over budget lol

>>15562548
>+ I bought some pot that week which put me over budget lol
>Degenerate
>Managing finances like shit
Yup, exactly the kind of person i expected.