What tools do what?

>>15305542
I think you're retarded.
I'm sorry.

When he grabs a group of tools from his kit it's most likely because he knows what tools he needs for the job.

For you? If you've got a somewhat new car, just general maintenance stuff. Oil changes, making sure fluids are level, etc

If you've got an older one with problems then you figure out what's wrong, do some research on how to fix it or refer to your service/shop manual, and go at it

The tools are pretty self-explanatory, it should be obvious what they're used for

>>15305542
I don't think I have ever cringed so hard in my entire life as a mechanic reading this thread.
I hope my kids wrench with me and not sit at a fucking computer all day.
Be happy your dad has a little confidence in you. He's trying to raise a man

>>15305542
The easiest thing to do for you is change the oil on your shitbox. Changing tires as well, but usually you don't need to do that unless you get a flat.

>>15305598
You mean swap a spare. Changing tires is removing the old one from the wheel and putting a new one on.

>>15305605
Well, you swap a spare on the side of the road, then buy a new tire and put it on the old rim after getting the car home.

Get the repair manual for your car and follow the next scheduled maintenance.

>>15305542
if you misplace the size 10 socket you will hate yourself.
keep that in mind

>>15305581
I'm not retarded, I build and configure my own computers.

>When he grabs a group of tools from his kit it's most likely because he knows what tools he needs for the job.

How does he know what "job" to do? Is he mostly doing general maintenance? Is there a prompt or message in the car somewhere he is reading?

I have tried asking him what he is doing and he just gets pissed off.

I tried helping him instead, figuring I would learn by watching. He didn't really ask me for any help, then told me "you can help by fucking off" after I moved the pole on the thing holding the car up and the car moved. I was only there for a couple minutes so I didn't get to see much.

>If you've got an older one with problems then you figure out what's wrong
The car my parents gave me is pretty old I think, at least a couple years. I know people keep cars longer than other stuff though, what do you consider old?

>The tools are pretty self-explanatory, it should be obvious what they're used for
They aren't though. I mean I know what a screw driver is, and allen wrenches, and heavy duty tweezers (cars get hot so that makes sense). But a lot of the tools look the same, why are there so many different ones?

Like there was a bunch of things called wrenches, except they don't look anything like an allen wrench, they look like they are used to connect two things. Are these used to hold things together that have broken? What does the handle with the clicky cube at the end do? Why are there so many short metal tubes in different sizes?

>>15305628
>Get the repair manual for your car and follow the next scheduled maintenance.
Does it really matter what car I get a manual for? I know they are different shapes but aren't they all standardized underneath? Is it more important that I get a manual for the type of car or the company that made it?

>>15305687
>I build and configure my own computers
Then I fail to see how this is a problem for you, if you're so good with computers. How did you manage to build a computer if you can't even figure out how a ratchet works?

At this point you're better off just taking it to a mechanic.

>>15305687
so you put the gaymer graphics card into the PCI slot, spread thermal paste onto the processor with a credit card, carefully place the heatsink, bundle the cables, put in an expensive fan, and then install windows with a few semi-obscure ricey tweaks?

You don't strike me as the type to work with FPGAs or set up watercooled clusters running plan 9

Also you sound like one of those retards who can't comprehend cause and effect in the physical world

>>15305702
Everything just screws or snaps together. From where I sit I don't understand why cars aren't this way. Can't they just build them out of standard parts and use software to customize them?

I know my dad spent money on these things, and I don't want to make him angry by not using them.

>>15305687
>I build and configure my own computers.
I've seen kinder egg toys more complicated than a desktop lmao.

>>15305542
Nice blogpost

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This has to be bait. No one can seriously be this dumb.

I sit behind a computer all day and can do regular maintenance on my vehicle no problemo.

>>15305718
Just look for YT videos on the model of your car. Pretty likely someone has done whatever you need to do and documented it before.

>>15305687
You know they say computers are like legos?
Cars are kinda like that, but some are duplos, some are the small technic shits
>The tools differ mainly in size, other than that they're just a bunch of hexagons

>Is there a promt or message in the car somewhere he is reading?
Yes
For small things it's either a strange noise or an handling change
On more dangerour things there's the obd port
You literally connect it to a phone/pc/dedicated dongle and the motor tells you where you fucked up

>>15305729
Where do I find the model number? Is there a sticker somewhere?

>>15305738
Fucking THANK YOU!

>>15305745
Behind your car, usually written with the plastic fake chrome letters is the name
Other than that the manual and insurance papers should've written in them the precise model/year.
Under the hood cars are like computers. You have the basic bits and then each one has some other shit added in

You shouldn't worry about touching the engine, but oil changes, tyre rotations and small cosmetic jobs are the best way to start learning how your car is built.

>>15305745
>Where do I find the model number? Is there a sticker somewhere?
Your car's papers, the decal in the boot ,etc. Model name and the year should be enough to dig up something useful.

>>15305612
>trying this hard to recover
You were wrong m8. It's not a big deal

>>15305760
>>15305755
Just got in a huge fight with my parents for going outside with my keys well after midnight, I didn't get to check the glove box for papers.

But I got a quick look at the back. In the middle there is a round thing with 4 blue and white squares inside a ring, kinda looked like the windows symbol in the middle. I've seen it before but it doesn't really look like it has a purpose besides decoration. I didn't see anything else.

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>>15305812
Sounds like an old Fiat...

Midnight rides are the best, you could be going fast or slow, but it's just so comfy

If you don't mind...
Also, age? Country?
>Why do you still live with your parents?

>>15305812
yep this is bait

>>15305824
>>15305823
>>15305812
Unless it's 2 blue, 2 white, which means bmw

>>15305823
18/USA

>>15305830
no shit

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>>15305830
I looked up a BMW logo, it looked like that, I didn't see the letters though.

>>15305840
Inb4 m3
Shape of the car?

>>15305860
>Shape of the car?
uhh, normal?

It's not a truck or van if that is what you are getting at.

>>15305793
Not even me

>>15305831
Jesus

This just makes me irrationally angry. I feel for your dad. You must be a huge let-down for him

>>15305542

>likes computers
>probably learned Google is king for problem solving computer problems
>doesn't put two and two together

Literally. Kill. Yourself.

I went from building computers to fixing my car. It wasn't any harder....because I had the biggest fucking source of information to help me with that......the fucking Internet. Unlike your father who had to go down to the local library to get a Haynes manual, you can just google it, retard.

Scotty Kilmer. Look him up on YouTube and go for there. His videos are tailor made for millennials too since they're like 5 minutes at most.

>>15305542
you are beyond help

>>15305812
>got in a huge fight with my parents for going outside with my keys well after midnight
Are you fucking 16?

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>>15305812
>Just got in a huge fight with my parents for going outside with my keys well after midnight
Jesus, after I turned 18 my dad stopped giving two shits what I did or where I went as long as it didn't end with a visit from the cops.
>hey dad I'm going to XXXXXX
>The fuck you telling me for, anon? Go.

>>15305542
You should be fucking killed

Grow some balls and start fixing shit. 90 percent of people just don't have the balls to fix a car.

>>15305542
/o/ isn't your fucking blog

>>15305596
Don't be rude, at least he's trying to learn.

If this isn't bait then I don't want to live on this fucking planet anymore.

>>15305542
>get chemicals on me.
nothing in your car is going to kill you unless you drink it dork

I don't come by /o/ very often, but do you guys just like to entertain trolls, or are some of you as gullible as my three year old daughter?

>>15305542
>chemicals
Go to Harbor Frieght and get some nitrile gloves. Protect your hands and skin.

>>15306452
I don't even know anymore.

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>>15305636

>>15305542
Youtube. Youtube is now your best friend. SO many grease monkeys making videos of how to fix things on your car.

Almost anyone can change their own oil. Even 14 year old kids can do it. Even without youtube to hold their hand either.

Some things you won't be able to do without more tools though. Like recharging your A/C from empty, you'll need some more tools. If you need to take your dashboard apart without breaking it, you'll need more tools. If you want to pull the engine to swap in an LS (and eventually it seems everyone wants to swap in an LS) you'll need more tools. Tools tools tools.

>>15306602
LOL That's because your buddy stole them all when he was over last time.

Youtube, and maybe swipe the Haynes Repair Manual for your car.

I've built computers as well and cars aren't that far off, you just have to be able to know and identify the components of a car like you do the internals of a computer. Not to mention know what the regular maintenance interval is, etc.

Troubleshooting is pretty similar as well, isolate broken component, identify and fix it.

>>15306672
Does this piss anybody else off. I like see it when people like Op just stayed the fuck away from under the hood. YouTube isn't going to change who he is, should he really be wrenching?

>>15306689
Although it's pretty easy to get to a part of a PC without having to take half of it apart. On some cars, they really pack everything in tight. And to get to whatever it is that's broke, you may need to take half the engine apart first.

Or like in this video, where he's trying to fix a leaky exhaust manifold and then the stud that held it on has rusted and broken inside the cylinder head and now he's having to drill it out and retap some threads, only he drilled in too far into the coolant jacket.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvYG23C80K0

Op I feel bad for you.
Where are you located?
I'd let you watch just to save you from feeling helpless.

>"works with computers"
>can't google how tools work

>>15305687
>The car my parents gave me is pretty old I think, at least a couple years.
Kill Yourself

>>15306602

Why is this a thing?

SOMEWHERE, i have two wrenches, a gear wrench, a 1/4 drive socket, and at least two 3/8 drive sockets, all 10mm.

Im only aware of the location of one of those listed - the gear wrench. God only knows where the fuck the other ones are right now. I can account for every single other tool i own, but god forbid i need a 10mm (i always do fuck you nissan) for anything.

Why do the tool gremlins fucking love stealing 10mm? Why, /o/?

OP here. I was able to take a look, the model number is 550i made in 2010. Does the i mean there is a web portal somewhere for me to access settings? I tried searching but BMW seems to have their IoT stuff hidden.


I am concerned by how old it is too. Is my dad just giving me an academic project?

>>15308734
It's a 10mm thing. 10mms hold the metric world together but the tools migrate. I don't know why, so I buy lots of extras.

1/2" to 3/8" step down adapters similarly take wing.

>>15308800
oh okay, this is bait.

>>15305687
>He didn't really ask me for any help, then told me "you can help by fucking off" after I moved the pole on the thing holding the car up and the car moved.

KEK, you almost killed your father, no wonder he thinks you're an idiot

>>15308819
Similar things happen with my 1/2 in sockets and my cheater bars

>>15305718
What the fuck logic is this?

>everything just werks on PC, cars are hard
Same thing a car mechanic would say about computers if he was computer illiterate. A boiler engineer vs a building engineer, etc. You need to learn from the ground up, understand how the components work together and their roles, and why there might be differences in how things interact. Perspective.

Why are there these other holes when an HDMI cable is all you need to see and hear the video? Why is there Nvidia cards and AMD cards? What do the big numbers mean?

My advice is start with gaining an enthusiasm for performance cars first. Through that you'll learn about components and how they affect how your car performs and you yourself will desire a nice performing car and a well maintained car.

>>15305687
Abandon thread. It's obvious bait.

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>>15305727
>This has to be bait. No one can seriously be this dumb.

There's lots of people who think they can find the cure for cancer by simply googling for it. At least they don't believe they can find out how to put mankind into space by going to google and searching for "how to make a warp engine".

What happened is that everyone else who has worked on things and then posted solutions to make it easier for others, well, this new crop of youngsters is too afraid to try anything.

Can't change oil. Some of it might get on me.

Can't jack the car up, it might fall on my foot.

It reminds me of how everyone launches a lawsuit for everything. Oil got on me, I am sueing. Tried to jack the car up but it doesn't go high enough so time to sue. Icky poo. Someone insulted me, time to sue for slander.

>>15306452
>I don't come by /o/ very often, but do you guys just like to entertain trolls, or are some of you as gullible as my three year old daughter?

We have at least three regular trolls and they are always making threads like this which are variations of previous threads they made. They keep using "fake sincerity" in the wording in order to have just enough plausible deniability to stop the mods from banning them. Or they have comcast and come right back after a ban since many ISP are too large to do a block address ban.

One troll puts up variations of laughing faces along with some smart aleck comment. I guess he blows off steam or personal angst this way.

Another troll's favorite method is to find any post, particularly informative ones, then search for one point in it and say "That <point> is shit. You're totally wrong" or variations of it. It's clearly a troll since he often picks points that are correct. But he wants to create enough FUD out there that no one follows the advice given. In that sense, that troll is starting to cross the line from being a sociopath into being a psychopath. Not all psychopaths are violent. Some just quietly do things to increase misfortune because they are afraid of getting caught.

>>15309459
>Abandon thread. It's obvious bait.

the problem is that all the many bait threads force the good threads off the board. a lot of times, informative threads are slow because there is no need to chatbox in them once the info is there.

>>15305687
10/10 im mad, fuck you troll OP

>>15309933
>10/10 im mad, fuck you troll OP

The giveaway was that OP claimed to be computer and internet savvy. Thus, he would know to google about working on cars and found a TON of FAQ sites on how to work on cars. Whole forums. Many such forums. Even manufacturers have downloadable manuals for free.

So OP must be a troll.

Well, the troll will polish up his request and repost it in the future. Just like all those other troll threads made to push the good threads off the board.

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Okay you guys got me, this thread is bait.

I got the idea for this thread when I was brushing my teeth and taking a shit (might have been pissing too). I thought:
>It must seem completely insane for a 16 year old today to learn to work on a car. What would it be like to be thrust from a life of vidya and programming into 'here take the wrench, son'

I want people to think about how fucked of an environment we are bringing kids up in these days, in regards to DIYing it. Yeah sure there are a million youtube videos for everything but I think this anon >>15309885 nailed it. The spirit of going out and fucking around with something to learn about it is getting lost to playing it safe. Personally I blame all the youtube videos for this. When I learned, you had a haynes manual which usually didn't tell you everything and your two choices were give up and cry or jump right in and figure it out as you go. Having a comprehensive video for everything just serves to add legitimacy to that fear of the unknown when the real life lesson is to acknowledge it and charge ahead.

It hurts my heart when I see people celebrating Tesla 'Finally we will be free of these stupid archaic cars that always need work'. Or celebrating the imminent introduction of autonomous cars 'Finally we will be free from this god awful driving'. I hate that oatmeal faggot but I also get that for people brought up with tech, mechanical stuff is incomprehensible. Furthermore they limit themselves by thinking that compared to computers, cars are barely more sophisticated than a hammer. We of course all know there is a incomprehensible amount of engineering that has gone into them. A lot of the stupid questions I put here are derived from things people have asked me when I have given instructions for working with cars or tech.

>>15306602
100% triggered. I know one of the little fuckers is rattling around under the motor of my jet ski, rusted to shit and coated in 2 stroke oil.

>>15310811
>Finally we will be free of these stupid archaic cars that always need work
Funny shit right here. The only thing that ever fails on the shit I own is a fucking bearing. One of the only moving parts on an EV is a bearing. Soon, we will have fucking bearing techs making $100k a year, removing 4 bolts to pull the bearing in an electric motor. Shit will be cash.

>>15310811
> I literally rolled up all the automotive illiteracy I have ever heard in my life into one thread where I pretended to be the biggest fuckwit on earth who believed all of it

I don't think I've been this assmad in months OP. Your biggest giveaway was

>my dad gave me a ton of tools to work on my own car and become independent
>I can't leave the house after midnight or I get yelled at

too inconsistent, either you're 18 and your parents want you to get the fuck out/grow up or they are way overprotective and do all your dirty work for you.

>>15305542
Fucking millennial scum

>>15311022
>I don't think I've been this assmad in months OP
Hahahahaha what a time to be alive, right? Believe it or not I can do better, I'll just have to wait until y'all aren't looking for it.

>>15309979
>Well, the troll will polish up his request and repost it in the future.
I will never repost this or any variation of it, that wouldn't be creative.