When /o/ memes become true .

>>14669230
Doesnt click you say?
Smack the starter with a crow bar or something (not too hard just a tap) then try if still nothing. It could be your beutral safety switch, or your ignition is bad. When you turn the key to the on position (right before starting) can you hear the fuel pump "whirr"?

>>14669230
dead battery.

how do you know the battery is good?
a clicking noise, and no starter is the battery not having enough amps to start

is it cold there? sounds like a dead battery
even if its showing 12.6v, it could have low amprage, and not start.

Try jump starting it, or charging the battery.

>>14669230
This used to happen to my mums 2006 Passat 2.0 TDI. It's probably a really easy fix, just disconnect the battery, wait 15 mins, plug it back in and it should start. Do this before fucking about with anything else.

>>14669242
Didn't think to listen for that , thanks . I have some fear of hitting the starter doe . Considering how much of a pleb i am , I'd probably just end up whacking the alternator or some shit .

>>14669248
The weather right now is really good , 20 Celsius the last 3 days , so it's not cold . Also I had no problems starting in the winter . What could have killed the battery ? The car is pretty new . Could it be my dashcam , I leave it plugged it , i just assumed that it would not charge if the key is not in the contact . It's try to hook up an amp-meter to the thing . I also have one of those battery chargers form my dad that i could use . Any tips on fucking around with the Battery , don't what to kill it by accident .

>>14669278
Again , tips on fucking with the battery , don't want to 86 the thing .

>>14669230
>>14669248
This, that clicking is your voltage metering relay. It closes and allows the car to start only if it detects sufficient battery voltage. Youre browning out when you try to start, the relay opens up when the voltage collapses. That clicking is the relay closing over and over again.

>>14669339
Watch your voltage when you try to start it. When its not under load it might still be at nominal voltage, if it plummets when you try to start its your battery
>tips for fucking with batteries
Don't short circuit it

>>14669339
> help me
> I'm not willing to try and do what you told me to do
Do you want to try and diagnose your cars problem or not?

>>14669230
Honestly it sounds like a dead battery. Try borrowing a new battery from a friend or something.

>>14669428
>>14669416
>>14669381
Gonna do this after i wake up as 2 in the morning is not the best time .

>>14669459
Aw what the fuck I wanted to solve this issue

It's probably not it, but maybe the brake is not fully pressing the sensor and the car thinks you're not pressing the brake. Was happening with my RX-8, but with the clutch sensor instead.

>Guessing about voltages when multi meters are so cheap or free

>>14669644
>free multimeter
lel

>>14669230
Is everyone ITT joking? It's definitely the starter. Have someone whack it while you crank the engine and it will turn over once more, but it will be 100% dead after that. I can't believe you guys are this retarded.

>>14670175
Seriously the clicking noise, the fact that the dash says he's pressing the brakes, his lights aren't dim or he would have told us... you guys are fucked.

>>14670175
dont do this it will 100% fuck your starter
moving the starter while it's rotating will fuck your main bearing 6 ways from sunday

>>14669230
>battery is good

No, it really isn't.

>>14669248
>>14669359
Nailed it.

>>14670175
>>14670187
Both of you are retarded, the first response was to smack the starter. OP just doesn't want to do it.

>>14670121
Harbor freight

>>14670199
I'm saying there was no point in continuing the discussion. Now he's confused even though it's clearly the starter. If OP doesn't want to whack it that's his problem, but the starter is ALREADY DEAD