Stupid shit you've done working on cars

I once drove a car after replacing the AC compressor and I forgot to torque down the clutch plate. Sounded like a buzz saw when it came off. Luckily it got stuck inside the engine bay and I was able to save it.

>doing oil change on my car
>take off transmission oil drain plug
>about a quart drains before I figure out what red oil means
luckily this was at school so I just grabbed a quart of atf from the tool room

>>14036988
>changing headunit
>not realize that it came in the cage
>spend 30 mins bending and damaging dash adapter and cage before i realized it comes off

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>Warm summer day
>Changing turn signal bulb
>Bulb falls out and rolls into housing
>Can't reach with hands
>Tape of stick fails
>Magnet fails
>Try to use gum on a stick
>Gum falls off stick, and melts inside the housing.

That was 6 years ago and it's still there.

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>Dog gets loose
>Decide to take Cavalier through field instead of the 4 trucks on the property
>Bottom out on a rock
>ATF leaking everywhere
>No money to fix
>Drive it for a week until payday
>Hit transmission pan with a hammer until dent is gone
>Replace filter and gasket and refill
>likeitneverhappened.jpg

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>Finish rebuilding motor
>Oh shit nigger what is this long skinny ass bolt and washer that I have left over?
> Goddamnit, it is for the cylinder head and timing cover mating surface.
>Remove valvecover.
>try to sneak bolt under the cam sprocket to install.
>Washer falls off bolt and drops down into the timing chain, and does not come out the bottom.

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>Drop something
>*ting*
>Not on the floor

>>14036988
I don't work on my car, I take it into a dealer. Does that count as doing stupid shit?

I'll fix that when I have a car I can be proud of.

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>>14040412

>magnet
>for a turn signal bulb

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>>14040967

>I'll fix stuff when I can afford to fuck up the car for weeks at a time

FTFY

It's OK anon, it's the same reason I don't dick with my vehicle beyond oil changes and light bulbs.

> 300zx on limpmode, replacing one injector because no dosh
> first time doing any major repair on anything
> get the intake plenum bolted on and everything hooked up to test
> dead cylinder is fixed, but it still runs like shit. Oh well
> installed wire-holding bracket wrong, go to fix it.
> reinstalling nut. Twisting. Twisting. Twisting. Wait...
> aluminum intake plenum now devoid of threads on a balance tube bolt

Thankfully my grandather shoved a slightly larger alan key bolt in and saved the remaining thread

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>tired as hell working on car
>timing belt/water pump/thermostat/other shit fuck bmw
>reading torques of shit
>see water pump ones
>see 80ft/lbs
>wow seems like a lot for water pump
>guess what it's 80in/lb
>caught myself before I went full retard, but still over torqued

>>14040966
I had this happen once while working on a friends car. It wasn't an important nut so we just continued on. 1.5 year later we're working on the car again and find the fucking nut just chilling in a groove.

>his same car
>doing some oil change
>he forgets the washer
>we're thinking fuck
>tell him don't be a pussy and pull it out quick and place that bitch on there
>hype him up to do it
>he goes to take bolt off
>start yelling 'OH SHIT IT'S ON NOW CMON SON'
>sweatingman.jpg
>he actually does it really fast and barely loses any oil
>friend comes up and says 'god damn that was intense'
>neighbor checking his mail looks over laughing his ass off

amazing

>>14040982
Pussy

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Few years ago, back when I had the Silvia
>Catch up with fellow S13 bro to work on our cars
>Many... many beers
>Spend afternoon stripping his down to bare metal, because race car
>Weighs in at 980kg, great success, more beers
>Replacing my alternator because its fucked
>Get it unbolted, bloody knuckles and its dangling free
>Nissan buries it behind the front sway bar, lot of fucking around to move it out of the way
>Get the sway bar out of the way, alternator falls free from about 3ft up and smashes me centre of the face
>Blood everywhere, seeing stars, fuck, fuck, fuckity fucker, fucking cunt
>More beer, wash blood off as two black eyes forming

>New alternator from parts bin, S15, so it'll be faster right!
>Doesn't fucking fit, fuck you Nissan...
>Scrounge around, S14 alternator, not as fast, but better right!
>Doesn't fucking fit, fuck you Nissan... seriously who changes mounts in the same engine despite different generations
>More scrounging around in the deep dark pile of parts
>Drag up an S13 alternator, covered in some mildly venomous and pissed off spiders
>Kill them with electrical cleaner
>Now bleeding again and probably slightly hallucinating from a combination of 40C temp, beer, aerosol, various car fluids and probably spider venom
>Slip
>Hit in the face again by 'new' alternator
>Lie there bleeding, again, friend is dying from laughter
>Eventually get it sorted out and give up for the day

>>14036988
>lose speedometer cable bracket
>replace with zip tie

>taking off connectors for instrument cluster
>break tabs
>headlights now go out for a second on big bumps

>replace alternator
>fuck up multimeter cables and blow charging system fuse
>measure wrong fuse and think it's fine
>spend hours googling other shit trying to find what the fucks wrong

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>>14041137
>that fucking webm

>>14040966
FUCK

So much hate

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>>14040966

>>14041137
May I suggest not having your face right underneath it next time? Story was good for laughs but damn that sounds painful.

Be me, had 67 VW ratbug (cut off top, truck bed, exposed engine)

>Backing out of driveway and i kill it cause the clutch is touchy
inb4 cant drive stick (i dd a 5spd cheby)
>go to start back up, nothing.
>tear out starter and get it checked. Nope.
>check ignition switch and push to start button. Nope.
>Check battery. Nope.
>run through every single wire and connector (all 8 of em!)
>finally see all 4 fuses were blown and fix it.
Sad part was they were right infront of me when i was checking the start button for 10 minuets.

>>14041232
Even worse is it took me 2 days to fix it.

>>14041231
It was sort of hard not to be under it because its got these annoying 10 or 12mm bolts you just can't really get to without being anywhere else.
Well, that and I'd gone through about 8 or so beers so common sense was diminishing

Turning up to work monday was pretty funny, broken nose, two black eyes and covered in scratches from where the connectors at the back had stabbed the fucking shit out of me.

>>14041241
Sorta same thing.

>Manual 97 Cavalier
>Drives like a wet dream
>Security bypassed by previous owner
>Fuckton of wires under the dash
>"Oh well, what can go wrong?"
>I buy it.
>1month later
>Won't start.
>Changed the starter
>Won't start
>Changed the ignition switch
>Won't start
>Said fuck it
>Got a $5 button from autozone
>Got a 12gauge wire
>Wired starter to the battery
>Car starts up perfect.

It's a shame I sold it, miss that thing. Only issue it ever gave me after owning it for 20k more miles.

>>14041436
I had a shitbox hyundai excel i did that to once.
Got so fed up with the previous owners shit i bypassed everything and had full racecar spec switches on the dash for fuel pump, ignition and starter. As much of a turd as that car was, it felt so satisfying flicking dem switches

>>14041469
Kek. As soon as I sold it, the rack and pinion went out.. Kinda. Turning left had power steering while turning right had no power steering at all. Fucking cavaliers.

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>>14040966

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>>14041232
>>14041241
Sadder story
>drive new car in new state after I move
>winter hits
>one day
>start up
>speedo abs tcs scs all out
>u wot
>spend all day with the dealer on the phone trying to figure out what's wrong
>nothing
>guess you have to bring it in
>no biggie
>wait yeah it is
>dealer is 7 hours away in next town, because they literally don't have my brand in this Podunk shithole
>[email protected]
>drive 6 months no speedo or electrohelp
>all winter
>snow and ice errywhere
>3000-4000 unaccounted for miles since car thinks it never moved
>rwd btw
>summer
>lightbulb.png
>it fucking dawns on me to check the fuse block
>6 months
>never even occurred to me
>or the dealer
>check fuse block
>abs fuse blown
>replace
>everything works immediately
>FUCKING MAGIC
>6 fucking months
>a 25¢ fucking fuse
>I almost Sudokued from shame
>mfw

>>14041536
Hey at least you got free miles

>replacing headlight bulb in shitbox Grand Caravan
>new bulb is in and turn on lights to see if they both come on
>they do
>pat my dick on the back
>see smoke
>fuckfuckfuck turn off lights
>I left the new bulb dangling out of its housing
>melted the fuck out of the plastic housing
>bulb and encasing will never thread back into the housing behind the lens
>"oh well I'm fixing it up to sell it"
>only fucked it up more
>tie that shit in place with black electrical tape
>It's been months and wonder if the buyers have ever noticed
>$400 dgaf

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>>14040966
that feel

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>be me 17 2nd year.
>doing timing belt on astra 2.0l
>done countless on 1.8
>dont realise that 2.0l has different timing marks to 1.8L
>start car after replacing kit.
>exhaust coming out inlet.
>shit

>bleeding brakes
>forgot to put the drum back on the opposite rear brake
>brake petal got pressed
>thiskillsthecylinder.jpg

>tfw you had to hammer out some roll pins on a shift linkage
>tfw the punch got stuck and you couldnt get it out
>tfw you had to get your car towed to shop because of a stuck fucking punch

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>flushing rad and system on 4runner
>fill er back up with toyota red/water mix
>heat wont work

>>14041810
Did you run the car and bleed the coolant system? You know, bleeder valve open, coolant cap off, parked uphill, run the car until coolant is almost coming out?

>>14036988
>Prepping the rear quarter panel for paint
>Had a massive dent from the previous owner
>car came with replacement bumper and tail light
>number plate lights are on the bumber that I removed to start prepping
>need to drive that night
>cuts a third off the old bumper
>pull it off the next day, finish painting
>new bumper doesn't fit
>a strip of sheet metal and some pop rivets to fix old bumper

Still driving around with it to this day

>>14041137


More painful the hilarious.

I been. There

>work on old chevy
>treefiddy small block
>needs new starter.
>easy to get because Chevy
>start removing bolts
>just two long as ones
>removing last one
>didt grasp alternator while removing
>slam!
>shit flys up in to my eyes

It was just dust but shit hurt. O the best part putting it back in.

>grab alternator
>place back in hole
>start aligning the bolts
>cant screw them in
>45 minutes later
>tired frustrated and almost crying
>old man comes in
>wdfneedhelpboy.jpeg
>"o please for the love of god.
>goes down there
>not even 2 seconds
>"alright boy tighten it up all done"


And thats when i learn to ask for help...

I was a fucking nub. Didt know standard to metric wrenches. Hell I didt know a wrench was called a wrench!

Now i work on commercial vehicles and do engine builds for fun. Here to you old man. Should of given up on me but he didt.

>>14041227

Dat same feel!!!

>>14036988
>checking the oil in the shitbox
>dipstick reads min
>time to fill up, baby
>add a quart of oil
>add another quart
>and another
>on the 4th quart, I stop and think "I've never had to add this much before, why is this thing so fucking thirsty"
>consult the literature
>literature says 1 quart at min
>nice

I ended up draining the excess shit, effectively executing a retarded and incomplete version of an oil change, but I chalked it up as a learning experience.

>>14040966
I lost a screw to my blower motor in the engine bay
All the shitty maintenance work I've done on my car and that's the only metal I've ever sacrificed and I'm still annoyed by it

Had a driveshaft shortened and rebalanced, got home it was 2" too short.

Walking back into that machine shop was true embarrassment.

>corolla overheating
>pull over, open radiator cap
>coolant scolds face/wrist/arms
>tending to wounds takes 20 minutes
>car was running the whole time with no coolant
>shit
>turn off engine
>pour in some ice cold water to cool it quicker
>turn on engine
RIP, that car was a trooper, still drove it home

>>14040966
>drop a bolt
>plastic thunk
>bolt rolls along the skidpan to the back of the engine bay
>can't get to it without a lift to take the skidpan off
>just leave it rattling against the subframe until it finally bounced over the support and fell out

>>14042395
>opening the radiator cap of an overheated car
This surpasses the threshold of stupid into full retard.

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>Pulling apart top end of engine to replace valve stem seals
>Bought a fantastic little tool that sort of "sucks" up the valve keepers when you press down on the retainer and spring (this is a DOHC head with cam over shim style valvetrain)
>Pulling the keepers for a valve out of the tool
>Holding it on the end of my finger
>"Alright Anon, I need to be really careful not to drop this because it's so tiny I'll never find it and I'll have to butcher another engine to find another one"
>Carry the two keeper halves over to workbench to clean them off with a rag
>Take valve spring out, replace seal, all is good
>Go and get the retainer, sit it over the top of the spring ready to punch down with the valve tool and keepers
>I go and get the keepers off the workbench
>Right next to the engine bay, one of them falls off the end of my finger
>I'm literally watching it happen in slow motion, it tumbles off the end of my finger and falls off into oblivion
>Hear a tiny little "tink" as it hits the ground, but the ground is so covered in shit like bolts, grot, and various other things that I would never find it
>Stomach immediately drops into my legs
>Fuck
>Fucking bullshit
>And so begins the search
>I'm looking for literally 50 minutes, ended up timing it
>Pulled apart half the garage
>Turns out to be under the jack holding up the control arm
>Breathe a massive sigh of relief when I find the fucker

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>Be messing with mom's truck
>86 Chevy C10
>oil hasn't been changed since she got it
>Change the oil
>black as night
>As I'm putting new filter on, cousin comes up
>"OH NO WAY MAN I LOVE WORKING ON OLDER STUFF LIKE THIS, YOU CAN ACTUALLY GET IN THE ENGINE"
>Ge literally crawls into the engine bay and starts messing with the rockers
>"DUDE THESE ROCKERS ARE FUCKED, CHECK IT OUT"
>Half of the rockers can be slid to the side of the rods
>thisthingisfucked
>"START IT UP, LET'S FIX THIS"
>I start it
>Dick around for 45 minutes trying to get the rockers to stop being shit
>Truck's idle is fucked so it's going at about 3,000rpm this entire time
>Eventually fumes get too much and we leave the garage
>Standing there staring at the truck
>waitaminute
>OH FUCK
>Run in and shut it off
>Cousin and dad are wondering wtf I'm doing
>I FORGOT TO ADD THE FUCKING OIL

To be fair the engine was already fucked and I don't think there could possibly be any extra damage done

>>14038155
Ive done this also.
Luckily nothing happened and my dad still owns that SUV 8 years later with no problems.

>bro needs help dropping the transmission out of his truck
>says hed pay me in beer if i help
>yes.jpg
>he shows up to my house with his truck and 2 12 packs of Steel Reserve
>we start drinking cause hot summer day
>both keep drinking
>gay sex
Joking about gay sex but long story short, we both end up drinking a 12 pack each, blacking out, and are only woken up by his gf shaking us awake.
She found me asleep under the bed of the truck and found my friend asleep under the front bumper hugging the transmission we dropped.
Still hasnt let us live it down lul

>>14042556
nice, i like the part with gay incestual sex

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>>14042556
>joking about the gay sex

N-n-no homo, r-r-right guys?

>Replacing master cylinder
>everything rusty as fuck
>cant remove bolt
>use my foot on my 3/8 ratchet
>ratchet shatters in pieces, bolt remains
Luckily I didn't strip the nut. Although I should invest in finding someone to teach me how to use a red wrench

>>14042395
You're pretty retarded huh

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>struggling to get electrical connector undone to remove part
>can't get it, can't figure out why it wont release
>cut the wires, remove the part
>put part on table, realize why the connector wasn't coming off, it was really simple
>replace the part
>solder the wires back together and wrap them in tape

It worked out in the end but I'm still ashamed about it

> be me circa 2006
>be late for work
>start up 99 lexus es300 and hear massive belt squeal on startup.
>motherfucker.
>open hood in a hurry to identify location of noise
>resting forearm on valvecover while leaning towards front of engine to look for noise.
>is it idler?
>maybe just need to tighten?
>wrist slips off valve cover, finger nail cathes serpentine belt and sucks my hand through the power steering pump pulley.
>lost all skin from my index finger (bottom of the nail forward)

>fucking belt stopped squeaking.


It was like the goddamn car wanted a sacrifice.

>>14045436
>es300
To be perfectly honest, you got what you deserved.
Who buys the lexus camry outside of niggers

>>14040412
kek

>replacing steering rack
>old car, no power steering, should be easy
>finally pull old rack
>jam new rack in using a long screwdriver leveraged against subframe
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg
>pop new tie rods in
>estimate alignment to about what it was before
>test drive
>so much toe-in tires squeal while pulling out of the garage
>don't feel like jacking car up again
>crank wheel and adjust tie rod
>test drive
>everything feels perfect!
>pull u-turn to drive back to garage
>suddenly car starts bucking up and down
>forgot tie rod nut
>front right wheel not connected to anything
>carefully pop tie rod back into link
>slowly drive 100yds back to garage
>find nut sitting next to jack

>>14045486
This guy does.

Wasnt a new one... was cheap and ran forever. It just needed blood.

>>14045579
Yeah but a camry would do the same thing while being cheaper and having less whiff of watermelon

>>14045660
But it wouldnt pick up sluts who dont know anybetter.

Irregardless, i agree that it is an over priced camry,which is why I dont have it anymore.

>>14042395
>pouring ice cold water into a hot engine
thiscrackstheblock.jpg

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>doing front diff oil change
>don't check to see if I can reach all bolts before I start pulling them off
>can't reach very top bolt with socket AND it's rounded on one corner so box wrench doesn't work either
>fuck fuck fuck
>only a drop or two has leaked out
>quickly tighten bolts back up
>no leaks
>go to pull plug and check level
>can't get the plug out
>turns out rounded bolt saved me

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>>14040966

>>14041137
Jesus Christ that poor fuck. Is this a comedy routine or was it a real game?

>>14049777
I don't get it

>>14049817
That's a piston head.