Florida man robs delivery guy; poops himself

>>60940
>florida man

The camouflage shirt is so that he skillfully blends in with all the other retarded people in a Florida Wal-Mart.

>Florida man

Why does the weird shit always happen in my state

>>60948
>weird shit

>>60948
Because you have some of the most lax freedom of press laws in the country.

>>60958
>lax freedom of press laws

Actually it's the open police report laws. The FoP laws are as protected as everywhere -- though even stricter in FA in many respects, such as with no limits on injunctions and gag orders.

Another great story in the neverending adventures of Florida Man.

How do people shit themselves from fright, anyway?

>>61590
Animals do this to try to discourage a predator from eating them.

>>60948
It's probably the humidity. It can drive people crazy down there.

I hope they don't actually throw the book at him. If the dude shit himself I don't think he's going to be robbing anyone else.

>>61590
Shitting or pissing happens as part of the 'fight or flight' response.
Same principle as weight reduction in racing cars.
Why carry an extra pound or two of urine/faeces if making a break for it.

Also, the saddest part is 'after taking the delivery man's $10'
- top kek!

You could probably panhandle more than that in the street, for fucks sake.
I guess this criminal mastermind didn't get the memo that delivery drivers usually only carry $10-20 for change, precisely because it makes them an unworthy target.

Florida deserves a better class of criminal.

>>62281
>Poop
>Weight reduction
You can't be serious. It's an involuntary muscle reaction to fear, probably more related to >>61610

>>62295
I am serious.
I studied anatomy and physiology and this question came up from a student.
This was the tutors answer.
We were on the subject of sympathetic vs parasympathetic nervous system response.
Some responses are automatic, some are not.

>involuntary muscle reaction to fear
I literally said 'part of the flight or flight response'.
That literally means your body's reaction to fear or high stress.
How is your explanation different?

Also, that other reason is retarded, I'm not even going to entertain it.
Most of the shit is not going to end up on yourself, how does that help?

'jokes on you, I just did a poop!'

So instead of fighting or escaping, you spend time, what? Shitting and pissing on yourself and trying to cover yourself with it?

>>62292
no, it doesn't.

>>62437
>This was the tutors answer.

And the tutor was wrong. It happens -- happens to me still occasionally when I tutor.

Anybody who's had to make a weigh-in knows how much a difference shitting makes -- almost none (you have to combine it with other tricks).

>>62497
It makes enough difference when you're running for your fucking life
Maybe as a 300 lb american a few pounds of shit don't make a difference, but to a normal, healthy human being, it is enough of a reduction in weight to help you while running.
I've taught anatomy and physiology for sixteen years, this is actually what it's for. If you choose not to believe me then you're wrong

>>62571

Unless you've feasted or are not evacuating daily, shit doesn't weigh that much. Runners and sprinters would get the equivalent weight reduction by running in speedos -- obviously if that made a significant difference (that means .01s) in the 100m time they'd all be doing that, at least for WR attempts.

You'd want to shit before long-distance running, but more because of the potential GI annoyance than any weight difference (since the corresponding power difference is unnoticeable compared to that from, say, change in terrain/footstrike). A weight change that small would only really matter at distances in which you hit the Wall, since the absolute energy you burn determines when that happens.

You'd have to be talking about a subset of very tiny animal species before you can make any reasonable argument for the weight drop helping with speed in a meaningful way.

Oh, also your start-up motion will be slowed by the bowels evacuating and the sphincter opening/closing, easily cancelling the difference weight might make in ideal conditions.

>>62571
>>62587

Oh and far more weight would be lost more consistently if you pissed when you had to run away, so why isn't there a bladder-relaxation reaction in any single mammal species (aside from those who spray, which is a different response)?

>$10
>shit himself
>ran to mummy

What a faggot.

>>62644
This isn't Egypt, there's no mummies here, cucklander.

>>62437
As someone who took fancy college classes, I'd assumed you understood that we retain vestigial reactions and components. For a guy with the IQ level of a child, who steals 10 dollars from a pizza delivery guy, would it be so shocking to think that he was mentally closer to our ancestors then us normies?

And how long does it take you to poop? I'm sure you've experienced that 'its coming NOW' feeling. Imagine that feeling, plus the stress of being chased by the police over 10 measly dollars?

>>62709
Oh dear, it's a retard! Learn to use the ENGLISH language properly or go fucking speak French you dopey fat bastard,

>>62588
Dogs and rats piss themselves from fear and/or excitement. People have to piss more often when stressed/under pressure, the stereotype being pissing oneself on a stage in front of a crowd from agoraphobia.
Source : pets I owned/sat.

>>62822
I don't speak english. I speak American, the strongest and most powerful language on earth.

>>62822
What's wrong with French, you pissant?

>>63189
It's French is what's wrong with it. You aren't French based on your standard of English and choice of words yet you feel so strongly for a dead language that a burning rage compelled you to insult him.

I'm going to guess that you are a Quibecuck.

>>60940
Florida man strikes again.

>>63353
What does that have to do with France? Paki.

>>63353
First of all, your quoted reply is irrelevant.
Second of all, you're completely wrong.

>>61590
The Florida man Twitter never ceases to amuse me.

>>60940
looks like Robert Webb, from peep show.

>>62497
>It happens -- happens to me still occasionally when I tutor.
scary students

>>60940
I feel like I'm the only person who, after being a small child, has never shit or pissed himself.
Is there any medical reason to worry about having a puckered sphincter?

>>65083
>>65243
Damn nigger, how many threads do you post this shit in? You genuinely have autism.

>>60940
Tippity top kep

>>63557
>enjoying silly headlines makes me a white loser
Ok

>>66565
>>67552
You genuinely have autism.

>>67607
It's just one autistic shitposter. Take a look at any thread and there is one coon obsessing over "white trash". He has even started making several threads about the same topic.

>>61590
Maybe he was a heroin addict already suffering from withdrawal symptoms. One of them is that it get's hard to hold your poop

>>67892
Yeah, the white trash poster clearly is autistic, he samefags over several days but he posts the same samefagging over several threads.

Truly he is one pathetic nigger.

>>67983
>>68123
>>68238
Damn nigger, samefagging the same few minutes over multiple threads, truly you are 4chans most pathetic poster by far.

>>68310
Honestly you're kind of tied with him right now, considering that you're purposely bumping these shitty threads.

>>68311
Not really faggot, I'm making sure everyone can see this ass blasted shithead and hopefully we might get a single bit of moderation for once on this shithole.

SHART

>>68428
>>68491
You are easily the most autistic person on this site.

>>68326
>mods delete singular posts from his threads
>don't ban him so he just posts in all of them again
So we do have a mod, but he's braindead.

>>60940
I love my state.
Every time people ask me if the Florida stereotype is real, I just show them Florida Man.
I never see them personally, but shit like this happens all the time locally.

>amerisharts