Cycling confessions

I can only hit 39mph on the flats because I'm slow and weak

I average 8 mph in my long rides

I wear women's cycling shorts because I like the colors.

I pulled a gun on a guy trying to steal my bike while making the most autistic scream imaginable

I wear both headphones while riding.

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>>927354
lol I wear both headphones too.
I hide my bike while camping sometimes so I can ride the horse and hiker trails.

>>927354
>I wear women's cycling shorts because I like the colors.

I need to know if anyone has ever noticed because I want to do the same thing, cycling is about looking gay anyway

>>927358
they wont know. if anything the lack of ball space will make your dingus look bigger.

>>927337

I ride just to find a nice place to drink and watch the sunset. I ride home almost everyday chronically intoxicated in a major city, Feels Good.

>>927361
I enjoy the ride but i always get drunk afterwards too.

My only bike is a full sus mtb with slicks. And I love it. Avg 12mph on long rides.

I yank on my (clipless) pedals to bunnyhop

I ride my road bike wearing jeans

I am shit at climbing and sometimes stop to pretend I have to clean my nose or some shit like that

My average speed is absolutely pathetic and I sometimes add 5 km/h when talking about it to friends

I have put chain lube on a dirty chain

>>927361
Man summer bike pub crawls are the best. Especially if the end point is a beach BBQ.

My partner still has no idea why her toothbrushes are disappearing.

I ride with headphones all the time.

I prefer my aluminium trainer to my carbon rocket ship.

>>927366
Youv have to yank on any pedals to bunny hop though.

I truly hate riding in the cold. Like seriously more than anything... So I don't

>>927377
You have much to learn

>>927378
There's nothing better than a boxing day ride on a misty morning. It's fucking beautiful where I live in winter and the only other people you see out are the old rando dudes who used to be track racers and have had the same Raleigh for 40 years.

every biker I see I judge them by their
>cadence
>speed
>bike fit
>tire pressure
>any noise coming from the bike

>>927389

My cadence is high, my speed is not. My bike fits me well and my tire pressure is high.

The only noise my bike makes is the clicky noise from the rear wheel hub.

8/ pro

>>927389
S-same.

I own eight bikes.

I have over 4000km on my Garmin unsynced to Strava and it feels like they didnt happen.

I'm doing less work on my bike these days.

Six out of five bicycles in my apartment are in states of minor disrepair.

I haven't ridden in 2 weeks.

I talk big shit at Uni and lie about having bikes at home that I don't.

My main ride is a Trek 8.3 DS hybrid bike

I'm embarrassed to wear Lycra so I wear shorts over it

i buy cheap bikes with the intention of refurbing them but they usually end up just sitting in my shed

im contemplating buying some womens cycling pants because theyre only a fraction of the sale price of the mens shorts

i thoroughly believe anyone on a bike is better than everyone in a car

>>927337
I ride too fast and don't respond to pedestrians saying "cool bike dude"

>>927418
>don't respond to pedestrians saying "cool bike dude"
So hard

I'm a frugal, disciplined, and contented person in every area of my life except when it comes to bikes, then I turn into a cackling hoarder who's never satisfied - an impulse-buying, covetous caricature of avarice.

I'm never comfortable riding no-handed.

I can't wheelie.

I commute on an old full suspension mountain bike that's too small for me, because I am lazy to fix shit on my road bike.

>>927428
I'd rather take the bus than subject my self to that

>>927354
I wear the pantsu with padding because the shorts that go underneath are bulky if I want to ride in more normal clothes. Plus pantsu are qt

I can't manual, bunnyhop or wheelie to save my life.

>>927421
Fucking this. I don't spend money on a lot of things (for example clothes, unless cycling related) but I never keep the same bike for more than half a year before I inevitably start changing shit around, buying new things or just building an entirely new bike because I get bored with it.

I probably spend more time wrenching than actually riding and I don't even ENJOY it anymore. It's just become an obsession to constantly seek out the perfect bike and whenever I think I got it I realize I was wrong soon after.

>>927366
>>927385

Not that guy, but it is physically impossible to bunnyhop without pulling on the pedals.

inb4
>then how come I can do it with flat pedals?

because you pull up on the handlebars and jump at the same time to get the front half of your bike up, then push forward/down on the bars and back/up on the pedals to level the wheels while in the air. Just like an ollie on a skateboard. fag.

>>927523
Your description for bunny hopping could end before you mentioned the pedals, you can level it out with just the bars.

>>927514
This, add a moving mount and dismount

>>927390
Are you me?

>>927529

Lets see a video of you bunny hopping without the pedals on then dipshit

>>927337

> I used a short-pull road lever on a long-pull V-brake, it worked enough so I yolo'd
> I have never worn a helmet in 8 years of city commuting on a roadie
> I once did a face plant that left a chunk on my forehead on the concret
> I'm about to rattle can a Nashbar touring frame orange and then put Eddy Merckx decals on it
> I have never been fit enough to even consider my average MPH and my bike autism is focused on building bikes and taking them apart at home. I spend 2x more time doing that then riding these days

Everyone thinks I'm some cycling athlete but I'm not and I'm too ashamed to correct them. In truth, I haven't been on a ride longer than 25 miles in at least 4 or 5 years.

I think everyone who rides a bike is a great person, and I wish more people did it.

I genuinely consider lecturing people on the trail who step in front of me when I say "on your left" when attempting to pass.

I've thought about "not stopping in time" when someone lets their kid run out in front of me while I'm riding, just to teach them a lesson, but I know it would be more trouble for me than the satisfaction would be worth.

I bought winter riding gear a couple years ago, and I've used it maybe 10 times ever. I just can't sack up and ride in the cold, it's just so miserable.

I haven't bought a cycling computer because I think I'm too lame and bad at biking to deserve it, but I tell my wife that I'm just not interested in tracking stats like that.

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>>927529

How to add forces together is taught in grade 7 (12 years old) in my country, are you:
a) retarded, or
b) American?

>>927537
>>927556
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-OkWl_1M4s

Maybe you'll listen to this demigod...

>>927558

go to 4mins 0seconds

watch his feet at 4:02-4:03, just as he starts to lift the back wheel

why do they rotate so far forward if hes not using them to press back against the pedals? and how does he move his body forwards if not by leveraging against the pedals?

>>927567
He explains earlier:
https://youtu.be/e-OkWl_1M4s?t=1m40s

He even goes on to explicitly say that using the pedals to lift the wheel is a common mistake...

>>927574

I heard what he said, but watch what he actually DOES.

watch his feet at 4:00.

Pushing forward on the handlebars will move the bike out from under you, so you HAVE to do something to counteract that. The only two options are pulling back on the handlebars, which cant be done because you are currently pushing the handlebars, or pulling up and back on the pedals, as its the only other place you are in contact with the bike. It is physically IMPOSSIBLE to bunny hop without pulling back on the pedals and I challenge you to find me video of someone doing it. Not video of someone saying they can do it, but video of them actually doing it.

>>927523
>because you pull up on the handlebars and jump at the same time to get the front half of your bike up, then push forward/down on the bars and back/up on the pedals to level the wheels while in the air
Yes, that's a bunnyhop.

Just jumping with the bike while clipped in has nothing to do with bunnyhopping

>>927554
>I genuinely consider lecturing people on the trail who step in front of me when I say "on your left" when attempting to pass.
Why do you do that? Every time I make any kind of sound or even have bright light so people see me they just step right in my path. Better to just sneak past and let them notice you afterwards.

I'm very bad at going hand free

I almost never do it because i'm too scared

>>927535

I don't know. Are you slow and lack strength and endurance and suck at climbing but your bike is in perfect condition?

>>927418
what about cyclist saying "cool bike dude" ? and what if the pedestrian is in fact a cyclist without his bike ?

>tfw no pedestrian ever said "cool bike dude" to me
>i have no face

>>927337
I am a casual who never even owned a road bike in my life and I ride for pleasure only.

>>927354
>I pulled a gun on a guy trying to steal my bike while making the most autistic scream imaginable

I imagine every aspie who posts their gun on 4chan would have the same reaction

>>927407
>I talk big shit at Uni and lie about having bikes at home that I don't.
What are you, 12?

>>927580
Rules of the trails brah. There are signs up that say it. I'd rather hit someone and it be their fault.

I ride to get fit, but I smoke.

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>>927634
No biggie

>>927612
No
Only drunk dicks downtown will comment on your bike as you ride by. They are very aggressive about it, when you don't answer, they will keep cursing you as you ride off into the night.

What the fuck do they expect ? That i brake and dismount to say thanks and start a chat.
Drunks don't comment about your bike, they are just trying to prove their alphaness to their mates. Look at me, I'm acting extroverted and aggressive !

>>927636
Cool post man.

I noticed the posts about using women cycling shorts and i'm also contemplating doing it. But aren't the pads more spread-out? I'm not sure they would work on a man's butt..

I'm fred as all fuck and not slow, but starting to fear I'll never actually be fast.

>>927378
I wouldn't mind riding in the cold so much if my nose didn't run like a leaky tap.
>>927523
>tfw could never figure out ollies either

http://www.urbanistcycling.com/index.php/women/chamois-panties/

>>927677
Those are p expensive for what they are, I do have a pair of the brigitte striped ones (max comf and qt), but I usually just buy the cheap ones from amazon now
>>927675
Work fine for me but I have p wide hips for a dude

>>927718
I wish this faggot would just admit he likes cross dressing, because how big your ass is doesn't really matter in stretchy Lycra and the bigger difference is pad design

>>927718
do they make your dick and nuts feel good and more importantly do they give you more wattz

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I don't ride MTB because most MTBs aren't aesthetic and I can't afford the one that is.

>>927747

lol , I totaly was in that position once.
I still can't afford something this hot ,but I learned to appreciate a new aesthetic.

now I MTB

>>927578
Here's a video a buddy got of me a while back, skip to 14 seconds for a bunny hop. I pull up on the bars hard and when I feel it's not going to go any higher I push forward, as I'm much heavier than the bike it moves forward instead of pushing me backwards and this forward motion lifts the rear wheel.

My feet do rotate forward but it's more of a reaction to lifting my body up (I'm preloading the rear and pushing off with my legs), I'm not lifting with me feet and you can even see them leave the pedals at one point.

https://youtu.be/KBitEBPLESE?t=14s

>>927797
You naughty boy, stop breaking the laws of physics.

>>927721
I'm a faggot that likes women's clothing and cross-dressing. Wow, big deal mate. The pad design is fine, it just doesn't have as much up front for your bits.
>>927739
Idk, the huge boner I get probably reduces my wattz m8

>I use biopace chain rings
>I like only chromo races.
>most of my bikes were purchased from yard sales
>I use flat pedals
> I ride about 150kms a week at average of 25kph.

>>927826
>kms
>kph

Not even the SI autist but stop fucking up the units. It's km and km/h

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>>927747
I felt the same until I saw the 2014 Kona Honzo, bought one instantly

>>927338
disgusting

I'm too scared to ride like I once did and now just road bike.

I am ashamed to tell co-workers that I ride a road bike because they are pussies who think they are elite... I had to really learn this by riding with them.

If I could afford to injure myself I would go back to riding bmx in a heart beat.

>>927747
LOOK at the ugly fucking stems we put on our bikes

>>927881
B-b-but muh aero

>>927856
>dat walking gear

>>927881
SLAM

THAT

STEM

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So I got a new bike recently, and it had a fuck ton of spacers on the stem.

>Go to bike shop to ask if they can cut the steerer tube so I no longer have to use 2 inches of spacers

>Are you sure you want to do that? We won't be able to get you a replacement fork if you don't like it.
Yes, I'm sure.
>But you might not like how low it is.
My stem is lower than that on all of my other bikes, it's fine.
>Do you really want to do that?
Yes.
>I don't think it's a good idea.

I eventually just gave up and left because the guy basically refused to cut my steerer. Felt cucked.

I like to own bikes just for having them not because I need them.

I like to have high end gear but I don't even race.

I ride a hybrid with a powermeter

I make more miles indoor than outdoor

>>927990
If you really can't do it yourself next time you take the bike in slam the stem and put the spacers on top, that way you can say to them that you've tried it that way and will be happy to have it cut.

>>927992
>I make more miles indoor than outdoor
Same, my rollers are my friend

>>927747
>most MTBs aren't aesthetic
I hope you weren't implying that the bike picture is.

>>927856
How much did it run you? Pretty beautiful whip

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I still ride Marzocchi Z1 Bombers from 2006.
Everytime I watch a GMBN video on youtube I learn something new even though I've been riding for 20+ years. Oh well, at least mountain biking has always made me strive to get better and gives me a reason to get out of bed super early on the wekends.

>>928024
>I still ride Marzocchi Z1 Bombers from 2006
Nothing wrong with that, if anything you should be proud of keeping old hardware going. 10 years is nothing if the fork has been well maintained or not seen hard use. Up until a few days ago I was using an 03 fork that has probably never been serviced, it could do with it now but it's still usable and would take little time to get it working like new again.

>>928024
that's ok. i ride on a manitou 4. when it is cold out, it transforms into a rigid fork.

>>928027
I feel like good things go to waste if I don't use second hand bikes. It's another way to be environmentally friendly. Plus its cheaper and don't have to get as bummed when I scratch it.

>>927636
Just say 'Thanks!'.

Doesn't matter what they just said.

>>927337

I run red lights when I feel like it's safer for me to do it and I know it pisses everyone off.

>>928482
Traffic light are designed for cars and their lanes. Not the bike lane. A lot of the time it doesn't make sense to stop.

I got into bike commuting when I was on exchange in Europe, but now that I'm back in Australia I'm too scared to ride my bike for commuting

>>928702
Dem magpie cunts will come get ya

I drive at least 10 mph under the speed limit when my biike is hanging off my truck cause i'm paranoid it will fall off. Sorry if you ever get behind me.

>>928811

>I drive at least 10 mph under the speed limit
>somehow this is a bad thing

You know it's a speed LIMIT, not the suggested speed.

>>928812
>impeding traffic
>somehow a good thing

you know its a traffic FLOW for a reason

>>928813

>going 10 mph under the limit = impeding traffic

Cagers, everyone.

>>928814
>most people drive over the speed limit by at least 5mph
>going 15mph below
>while taking up a whole lane
>not impeding traffic

okay buddy, sure thing, you keep thinking you know anything about driving while you pedal your way down the side of the road

>>928708
>cycling to train station
>see shadow of a magpie

At least swooping season is finally over

>>928815

>everyone breaks the law so you should too, otherwise you're impeding muh precious traffic flow

>>928818
>you should disregard what actually happens in the real world and just do what the rules say to, even if it puts you at a higher risk to be rear ended (which would fuck your bike up)
>if you don't I'm going to call you rude names that me and all my cycling buddies use to describe anyone we don't like

listen its okay that you don't own a car and cant fathom anything but running red lights and making whatever fucked up turn you want without thinking about right of way while you yell 'YIELD FOR ME I'M A PEDESTRIAN' and cycle at parking lot speeds in the middle of the lane, but you really shouldn't preach like you know what its like to drive.

>>928819

Sorry dad

>>928024
I just realized my Marzocchi All Mountain turns 10 this year.

>>927554
get strava man, It's like a computer for your phone and it pushes you to ride more (not actually but having the stats right there makes you just wanna make those numbers climb)

I'm slowly realizing I'm turning into a hipster, but not a huge faggot hipster just someone who prefers more hidden places.
I like mainstream artist but mostly listen to underground and I ride fixed.
I average a speed around 15 mph, and max so far is around 30 mph
Haven't bothered to change my 44/16 ratio. ( works for now )
I absolutely hate 4 way stops.
I criticize other fixed gear and roadie riders by pedal stroke, cadence and bike fit.
Also just to see if they look like they've been in the saddle for a while.
I prefer having 2 headphones in but only ride with one on roads.
I don't make eye contact with other rider just because I'm just a tiny bit socially awkward so I feel people think I'm just a stuck up rider.

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I've ridden my bike while wearing a load dispersement plug similar to picrelated. More than once.

I felt spicy one night on a ride by myself and road no hands and jerked it just because no one was outside and I could. It was pretty dark also so no one could really see anything lol, felt kinda good just jerking it outside, didn't finish but still was a nice experience

>>929069
Please don't follow this road anon. You'll eventually be arrested while riding with your dong out in the middle of Trafalgar Square and I don't think you can hack it on prison.

>>929080
did that happen to you anon?

>>927797
>https://youtu.be/KBitEBPLESE?t=14s
im a random lurker

your suspension helped lift you and your landing was hard

>>929144
Actually the suspension didn't help me to lift the bike, I could quite easily compress the suspension just as much and not have the wheels leave the ground just by absorbing the bikes upward movement with my legs and trying to keep my body from moving upwards (as it is the momentum of my body that provides the lift).

By preloading the suspension I'm not using it's springs to provide lift but rather trying to prevent them from absorbing the upwards force applied by my legs. This is why it's easier to bunnyhop a rigid bike (even if both bikes are the same weight).

As for the landing, with a bike of that weight it's inevitably going to be a bit harsh.

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>>929067
My fucking life fampai
Except I run 48-16

I really like riding fixed desu
I'd post my ride but I'm not really in the mood to get shit on by fat autists on the internet right now.

>>929164
>48-16
but why? that's ... one skid patch, throw on a 15 dude

>>928482
At least you have some self awareness. At the very least, look both ways, and consider coming to a stop if the intersection is really busy.

>>928586
You, on the other hand, have zero self awareness. I hope you get run over by a pack of rabid dogs.

>whenever i see another cyclist going my way i HAVE to speed up and pass them


I'm still waiting for the day when someone checks me on it and we have ourselves a nice little race

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>>929181
Yea and its really fucking annoying.

I just got my chain whip in the mail yesterday so it's the next thing I'm gonna buy with my wagebux.

I'd really like to see some fixed gear threads on /n/ again. I remember a time not too long ago where fixed gears were at least accepted with mild distain here but now every Lycra clad hybrid racer in girls padded shorts has to rag on about the fixii XD.

Its a shame too because fixed gears and /n/ is how I got into cycling. And it's a hobby I really enjoy like everyone else here.

4chan is the cesspool of outcasts that we most relate to, fat autismos and weird people alike. Just because our wheelies spin freelie or not doesn't really matter in the end.

>>929250
Oh stop whining already fixiefag

>>927797
Fuckin magnets!

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>>929250
This, every cycling enthusiast should own a fixed gear bike. I just swished my toeclips and straps on my fixed gear to spd, never have I felt a better feeling on a bike, Im in love all over again.

inb4 "not practical for muh transportation purpose". I dont get how people with bikes as a hobby can keep themselfs from haveing just one bike. Get an OTS, slap on a fixed hub and a front brake and read http://sheldonbrown.com/fixed.html

Have fun

pic related, a practical bike

>>929356
>pic related, a practical bike
For you perhaps. I don't own a fixie or even a single speed bike because they would be impractical for me.

>>929359
This.

>>929250
>I'm gonna buy with my wagebux.
no co-op near you? The one I go to is pretty rad, bunch of dudes ride fixed and we swap parts all teh time. I'd say it was like 10 years ago we had a group buy for some track frames and our little community started from some local cycling forum. Just start the threads up again, if you post it they will come.
>>929359
>For you
god damnit it, I lol'd

>>929359
what I am trying to say is that not all bikes needs to be practical and that people should own fun bikes aswell. But they can be practical i.e messenger fixed gear bikes.

>>929377
Having busted knees by 30 isn't my definition of fun, or anyone's for that matter. Living near the rockies and i either have to go up a gradient or down. I would get a fixed gear if i live in florida or some shit.

Fun would be bombing down rocky mountain trails

>>929377
There are plenty of other fun bikes than fixies, I'd rather spend the money on those or on my more practical bikes. You might find riding a fixie a lot of fun, someone else might find riding a BMX more fun, or a unicycle, or a fat bike, etc.

>>929386
This is fair enough, I agree

My post was actually a response to the other guy. I can relate to him getting into cycling by fixed gear and /n/, and I would love to see more fixed gear discussion around here.

then I got carried away...

>>929069
I've never yanked it but I've taken a rolling piss more than once

>>929068
I'm slightly confused, and google gave no info, please elaborate.

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>>929461

>>929461
The concept is quite simple really. You simply find a nice load dispersement plug with a good flared base and insert prior to getting on the bike. If you have one with a cushy enough base it can take the place of padded shorts. Additionally, you tend to get fewer saddle sores since it is more firmly attached to your person.

I will admit that they can be difficult to get used to, but I think you'll find them very pleasureable once you do.

>>929563
Oh that's weird, I just wear one so my anoose is loose and ready for a penoose.

>>929356
ride clipless faggot.

practical bikes have brakes, fixie or not

>>929569
I use mine for bike riding only. No homo.

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>>929626
>ride clipless they said

>>929250
sebas? that you nig?

>>929633
>shitmano
there's a reason why literally everyone gets SIDI

I enjoy the rhythm of the creaking noise in my bike. It only occurs when climbing and it helps me keep my cadence up.

>>929665
No you don't. You wish it would go away.

>>929633
>i bought the cheapest shitmano shoes i could get my hands on

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>I don't know how to ride a bike but I plan on buying one from Academy for about $250 because I'm poor
>my fiance is going to teach me how to ride it.

please crucify me

>>929830
If we crucify you then you can't have fun learning to ride, anon. :)

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>>929832
Thanks I guess, any idea on what the least shitty bike to buy from them would be? Or should I try my luck asking the bike general?

>>929833
For your budget you'd be WAY better off buying second hand.

Pop over to the BBQG and tell them your height, craiglist, star sign, etc.

>>929835
ok, thanks

>>927626
Have you ever actually been to /k/?

I don't own/carry but I lurked a little while. The regular posters are actually all about gun safety and responsibility. They don't want dumbasses accidentally discharging & or hurting themselves/others giving them a bad rap. They're harsh & ridicule people that fuck up while operating.

We like bikes & people who use the road appropriately -- the same with them & guns.

>>928811
But why isn't your bike safely secured in the bed of your truck?

>>929201
If I'm behind them and I catch up I can't not pass them.

If they're behind me and faster, well, they have some work to do...

Not trying to sound like a cock, but I honestly can't remember the last time I was actually passed by another lone rider - if ever. If it happens around here I'll probably recognize the bike/rider because we've probably gone on a group ride together before.

One time I came up behind a team of qts on a training ride and had to filter my way up through to pass. Hindsight, I shoulda just started chatting the coach or team leader up and rode with them for a few miles, but I was in a mood and wanted to rush. Que sera sera..