Greentext bike stories

>>1076679
Call the police on these faggots. This is damaging property, you might get a ride home out of it.

The trick is not to ask the officer for a ride, ask if he can call a cab for you.

>>1076679
>havent had the time to ride like I really want to lately... like most of the year so far only like 400 miles
>3 day weekend yay, I promise myself to do a metric century
>been raining all week and saturday too but today is supposed to be nice
>get 3 miles in, bike path is flooded, no worries I will just ride around it
>3 mile detour but not upset
>going slightly down hill, pinch flat on a really tiny pothole
>stop in front of this house
>getting patch on, more or less the last of my glue
>patch wont hold, fuck, missed a tiny little bit and its leaking
>god damn unfriendly dog thinks I'm a bad guy and starts barking at me
>ok fuck it go to one of my back up tubes, a shitty walmart tube
>cant get a good seal on it to pump it up worth a shit, will just end up riding on the rim
>this dog just wont chill out
>ok fuck it go to my last resort tube
>hmm the walmart tube seems to have messed up my pump and cant get a decent seal on this one either
>coal rolled while fucking with this one
>lady asks me to get away from her house
>finally get to maybe 80psi where I really need more like 105
>decide I am going to continue my ride anyways
>get to where the trail is again, its under 3 ft of water
>ok I know when I am defeated
>turn around and start going home
>3 miles away and get a thorn in my tire
>I can see it so I am trying not to pull it out and squeeze as much distance as possible
>nope
>end up walking like 2.5 miles back
>almost home, like 2 blocks away someone finally offers help

So instead I mowed my lawn and then went and bought new tubes, liners, and slime.

>>1076679
>>Employment conditions are fucking shit
>>50€/month that I have to pay as taxes and also 21% of every single euro I earn
Sorry about your day, but explain this shit. Are you seriously rectally reamed over having to pay income taxes? If so, welcome to adulthood and public services. You're welcome.

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>>1076679
>Some fucking spoiled motherfucker driving a mercedes parked next to my bike and left my wheel pic related
Why didn't you do anything about it? At the bare minimum you should have pooed on his hood.

Also,
>today
>ride steel bike for the first time in three months
>havent touched it since I bought carbon fiber bike
>live in very hilly area
>no compact chainring
>unbearable stem shifters
>ride is significantly worse than carbon bike
>almost slip off bike twice since used to clipless pedals and moving back to platforms
>I planned on exclusively commuting to class on this instead of my car
>really not that bad except for stem shifters

How did people ever survive with those things?

It was bretty good, I also work as a courier and sell cakes on the side, earn a pitiful amount of money but manage to live a humble life by myself
I dread the day some cager decides to destroy my feeble livelihood, but what the hell

>>1076679
>It's fucking 2AM and I'm writing this greentext
>start considering buying a car
>get blown up by refugee
>spend last moments of my life writing this greentext

>have been discovering new trails, mostly field roads, because no cagers
>yesterday riding on a path I found on google earth for the first time
>nearing end of the trail, going through small forest area, according to google there’s supposed to be a road leading back home just up ahead
>there’s a sign on a tree
>WARNING, BEES
>there are beehives all over the place
>I say fuck it, turn around and go back the same long path I got there
>question my lack of courage whole ride back

I’m going to ride the path again next time, and just going as fast as possible through the area with the bees.

>>1076682
>>1076685
Because honestly, it was my bad, you're not supposed to park a bike where I did. So fuck me. Also maybe the driver didn't even notice or he might've had a bad day too. Shit happens.

>>1076684
I'm not mad cause I pay taxes, It's just that in order to work for deliveroo or this kind of shit you've got to have a license as a "freelance worker" and self-employed taxes are exagerated, almost three times as much (european burocracy). Thing is, I work for them, with the company's shitty logo on my back, but legaly, I don't. If I get injured, sick, stolen or stabbed my some muslime, it's my problem, no insurance, no income, nothing. They also tell you that, since you're technically freelance you can work as much hours as you want, wich is just not true. If they just made the worker a regular contract I wouldn't have to pay monthly and 21% extra of everything I earn.

>>1076767
You should just quit if you hate it. Not worth the stress.

>>1076679
Where the fuck do you pay 21% income tax while making 6€/hour???


My first 10k is tax free even in fucking Scandinavia and the next tax bracket is 3% between 10k and 15k

>>1076795
I really need the money tho, also the job itself is quite fun to do tbqh familia

>>1076815
Shit tier Spain

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>>1076749
>>WARNING, BEES

>>1076918
kek

>>1076821
>I really need the money
Sell drugs

>>1076679
>be me
>poorfag who wrenches on bikes for extra cash
>first time building a bike from ground up
>old Trek roadbike
>not much, but it's mine
>decide to take it for a quick spin and see how it is
>wearing normie clothing
>take a break about half way on local bike trail
>man in full aero gear on meme machine rolls up
>"You should really take this more seriously"
>rides away a moment later

>Bike maintenance day
>Decide to adjust front derailleur becasue something doesn't seem right
>It seems even more fucked up now
>Can give it a single click either up or down and the derailleur only moves slightly, then can actually shift it
>It didn't do this for both chain rings before
>Spend 4 hours fucking around it
>Finally give up
>Have to work the next 3 days so can't take it to the LBS
>Take it into the LBS today and ask the mechanic to take a look at it
>Tells me it's perfectly fine and that those incremental shifts are supposed to be there
>Not sure weather to feel stupid or glad becasue I actually did fix it

>>1076749
I would have turned around, there's courage and then there's stupidity. Riding through an area you know is heavily populated with bees and hives is stupidity. You made the right choice.

Imagine if you had ridden through there and ended up getting stung a bunch of time.

>>1076679
>>be me
>>straight out of college
>>work in a bar, they pay me less than 6€/hour
>>work around 20hours/week
>>I need more money to stop living from mom
>>Discover a clone of "deliveroo", Glovo, luckily, I have a bike, know my city and have time to work
>>Employment conditions are fucking shit
>>50€/month that I have to pay as taxes and also 21% of every single euro I earn
>>ok
>>They make me pay 60€ for the bag and shit
>>ok
>>I also have to spend 40€ changing my bike wheel and stuff
>>ok
>>Sunday. Fucking, sunday.
>>Work 16 hours, I swear to God, some in the bar, some as a delivery faggot
>>The day ends, I get out of the bar thinking about how tired I am, only ate one meal today and barely slept the night before
>>But I managed to make over 100€ in a single day
>>Feel happy
>>Get to my bike
>>Some fucking spoiled motherfucker driving a mercedes parked next to my bike and left my wheel pic related
>>Try not to cry
>>Walk 90 minutes carrying my bike back home
>>It's fucking 2AM and I'm writing this greentext
>>start considering buying a car
>
>So, how was your day?
Yoooo GLOVO bro. I do it in Milan. The bad thing here is that u cant make more than 5k a year. But its a Pretty fun job.

>>1077912
You can't, as in taxes and shit? Or you mean cause of the job itself?

I know some guys who've been working for Glovo for about 3 or 4 months and they're able to make 300€ every week.

>>1077907
>Can give it a single click either up or down and the derailleur only moves slightly
that's so you can trim and prevent rub

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>be in high school
>learn what you know about bicycle maintenance from shitty online tutorials and messing with your dad's old steel roadie that he never took care of
>be stupid and take off the frayed rear derailleur cable for no reason
>frantically try to put it back on because having 2 speeds is dumb
>take off the slightly less frayed cable from your shitty walmart mtb
>can't get that on either
>have two broken bikes for no reason

>>1077920
Italian tax system is bad. U cant make more than 5k with this kind of job.

>>1077936
I never knew this was a thing, always thought it was wrong.

>>1077987
You don't reuse cabling. Ever. It damages the lining of the housing even if you succeed and will lead to poor shifting. They're fucking cents man, just buy a stash of them.

>>1078049
Welcome back, Bacon. You were missed. Why the hiatus?

>>1078049
d-do you ever race the horses, bacon-senpai?

>>1078122
I also would like to know

>>1077391
bet he was fat too

>>1076679
Test

yesterday
>biking on the trail
>see group of three kids probably highschool age
>think to myself oh looks like a trail gang except that its a bunch of fucking kids
>decide not to worry
>get pushed off my bike going 5 miles an hour up the bridge
>chase kid around, steal his flipflops
>be 21, can't legally beat him to a pulp, call the police when I get home
i was going to use his flipflops for smoking on the patio but they took them as evidence. that fucker almost broke my ulna.

>riding home from evening group ride
>nasty thunderstorm clouds brewing
>come across another cyclist just as strong cold outflow winds begin along with continuous thunder
>glance over
>both of us make loud a nervous laugh and start pedaling like hell
Amazingly I managed to dodge the thunderstorms.

>Be fat as fatass
>go to canadian tire on the way home and buy a $219 mountain bike thats the right size for me
>get it home and excited to ride so i can get in shape
>inflate front tire to 45 like the tire said too
>move to back tire
BOOM!!
>front tire tube literally exploded
>ears ringing
>fuck.jpg
>take bike back to canadian tire and exchange no problem
>get bike home and inflate tires
>take it for a ride
>by the end of the street Im wheezing

Honestly, glad I got a bike now, Im in the worst shape of my life, I know the more I ride the easier it will get, and the more weight Ill lose. My ass hurts.

>>1076683
Liners and slime are absolutely fucking awful and cause more problems than they solve. Get better quality tires that are more puncture resistant and figure out how to use your pump properly so you can get the pressure high enough to not get pinch flats.

>>1079838
>worrying about riding in a thunderstorm

>>1079915
Hail is my biggest concern with thunderstorms if I'm in the city. Got caught in thunderstorms on the open prairie a few times. Being the tallest thing around on a road raised above the surrounding land.

>>1079865
45 PSI, not 45 BAR

>>1079919

Yea, I did fill it to 45 psi, must've just been a shit tube

>>1080004
No, but the bead wasnt properly seated. It is impossible for a bad tube to blow the tyre off the rim. It contributes no structural integrity and even if it were to pop like a baloon the pressure would still be (poorly) contained by the tyre and just result in a hiss and a flat. However, if the tyre unseats itself you get an explosion at the point where the tube is no longer contained by the tyre.
Always pay attention when seating tyre beads.

>>1080022

That doesn't explain why it popped along the seam of the tube, I know it's hard to believe, but its not exactly a quality product. It's a cheapo department store bike.

>>1080065
>That doesn't explain why it popped along the seam of the tube
Because that's the weakest spot of the tube. A tube that pops can't cause an expansion. The tyre sees the same pressure no matter if there's a tube between it and the air. The tyre would not see an increase or even change in pressure if the tube burst.

It's not that it's hard to believe. Tyres blow off all the time. It is your hypothesis about the cause that is not only improbable, but impossible.

>>1076679
Check would that Glovo have some insurance for this?

>>1080067

>Manufacturing defects don't exist

Are you serious?

>>1080532
Are you retarded or something? When was that ever implied? No matter how many defects there hypothetically might have been on the tube, that can not have caused an explosive blowout. Only the tyre can ever be the cause of that.

>>1076679

>yesterday
>riding in the bike lane
>pass some intersection
>cager on phone almost hits me turning
>later down the road
>same cager swerves into bike lane
>maybe as some form of 'revenge'
>barely misses me
>they speed off
>I give chase
>they take side streets trying to get away
>eventually they get caught behind traffic
>pull up next to them and knock on window
>they roll down window
>"you know you almost hit me right?"
>"yeah I saw that. My bad"

"My bad" I don't have medical insurance and they almost killed me.

today

>riding down on the sidewalk
>some "gangster" pickup truck passes by
>passenger shouts something at me
>can't hear because of dopler effect
>they pull into fast food parking lot
>I pull my bike infront of them
>interested to know what they said
>can't see into truck because of tint
>wait but nobody get's out
>as soon as I leave I hear them open their door

>>1079865
>BOOM!!
did you get the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and ptsd?

>>1080545

The tires not holding air you fucking idiot, the tube is. Jesus Christ you're dumb.

>>1080727

No ptsd, did get the ear ring though.

>>1077365
Pretty much this.

>>1081225
I'll bite. The tube is holding the air. The tyre is holding the pressure. For an explosive loss of pressure it has to be the pressure containment that failed, and that's the tyre. I feel dirty for having taken the bait.

>>1080559

Cause me m88 u 4got sum ting

>get on the floor

>evry1 walk tha dinosaur

>>1077391
Who the fuck says that to somebody just out for a leisure ride?! I have dozens of kits, a 4000+$ meme machine and thousands wrapped up in other roadie shit, but I ride my beater to work and regularly putz around on all my bikes in street clothes. If he was even going slow enough to utter that sentence to you he's not worth his weight in salt as a "serious" cyclist. Don't take that shithead seriously. Riding is fun, in all forms.

>>1079915
>riding through a rain shower is the same as a thunderstorm

Fucker, there is a reason they issue thunderstorm warnings in certain parts of the US. It can be unsafe to DRIVE through that shit, much less be exposed...

>>1081225
Lol

>>1076815
Where the fuck do you live? Norway?

I'm Danish, and we can earn about 5900 euros tax free every year. 10k euros is quite a lot. Also we don't have that 3 % tax bracket between 10k and 15k.

21 % income tax is not a lot, even for small earnings.

>>1079691

They were black, weren't they?

>>1080557
>I don't have medical insurance and they almost killed me.
if you are dead obamacare can't help you. stupid fucking burger.

Maybe someone can clarify legality here
>Washington state, USA
>On side street
>approaching stop sign for arterial
>pickup already at stop sign, no turn signal, pointing directly across street
>I'm going straight across too
>roll up on his right, there's at least 5 feet of shoulder
>about 3 minutes go by, lots of traffic
>a car is now in the turning lane waiting too, blocking the intersection
>finally see an opening and go, intending to go behind the turning car
>pickup truck driver goes too, except he's decided to take a right
>I see him out of my left, he honks and slams brakes
>I turn head to look back at him
>as I keep riding, and he rolls down window
>"follow the rules idiot"
>I'm pissed cuz I was almost hit
>"shut the fuck up" and a middle finger in return, is all I could muster

He may have turned his blinker on after I got to the corner. I doubt it tho as his behavior leads me to believe he was going straight but the turning car blocked his crossing right when there was a chance to go right for a slight detour.

Was I legal when I pulled up on the right at the stop sign, then went when there was an opening? I can't find definitive wording on this. If I'd been hit, who would be more at fault?

>>1079865
45 lb/in^2 is crazy pressure for any MTB-sized tyre. Ignore that recommendation.

>>1076821
You must be really fucking up somehow to pay that much tax. I simply don't believe that the system is intended to be so punitive.

>>1082912
Regardless of legality, this is why you stop in front of the queue of traffic, not beside it.

>>1082912
>roll up on his right

You're at fault.
If you're in the road, you behave as other vehicles do.

If you're a filtering, shoaling faggot as seems to be the case, you deserve everything that you're going to get.

>>1082931
can you elaborate on proper stop light procedure? i have been riding for about a year and still don't really get it.

if there are cars at the light, you go in front of them and wait up there? where i live, that would make the front of my bike stick out into the street.

>>1082912
If there's no bike lane you don't pull up alongside other traffic, you get in line with it.
Honestly even if there is a bike lane I often get in line anyways to prevent people forgetting to signal right hooking me. Assume people are going to forget/try to kill you.

>>1082931
Unless there's a bike box definitely no. You'll end up hanging out in to the intersection (dangerous but also illegal) and it's a great way to make motorists who are about to pass you back angry.

The general approach to biking is to make the cager's decision making easier. They need to be able to easily see you, and you need to make it clear with your positioning that you are there and it is not okay to overtake you (say when you're turning or at a light).
I recommend a handlebar mirror to make looking behind you a lot easier. Being part of traffic rather than trying to just sneak besides it is safer. Bicycle paths are another story, if they exist you might as well use them, but you'll be merging INTO and out of traffic eventually.

You have just as much right to the road as motor vehicles, and while you should keep an eye on vehicles that might try and turn infront of you and cut you off, don't give any signals (like slowing down) that you're letting them through. Ideally you don't even turn your head to look at them, but do get ready on the brakes.
Body language is useful too, making your intention easy to read helps.

With automated cars coming around you'll be needing to be more aggressive on the road in taking the lane since the car will calculate if it has space or not, if you don't give the self-driving car space, then it'll probably not try and run you over.

>>1082958
>>>1078049
The way I do it is if there are cars at a stop light, I split lanes to get to the front and go slightly into the crosswalk enough so that the front car can clearly see me and will usually have to give me some space in order to go around me.

>>1082963
Bike boxes exist because moving to the front of the queue is a good idea, not the other way around.

>>1082930
No, it really is like that here. I guess they didn't think (or didn't care) that people who register as self-employed would ever have low incomes.

>>1083119
If the infrastructure isn't installed it's not a good idea to pretend it is.

>You'll end up hanging out in to the intersection (dangerous but also illegal) and it's a great way to make motorists who are about to pass you back angry

>>1082299
Hey, good one, champ. How's that cuckshed coming along? You pay Jamal for his breeding services yet?

>>1082934
>filtering

Wtf is the point of riding a bicycle in commuter traffic if it isn't to get around efficiently, while being courteous to those in cars?

Laws schmaws, the number of traffic violations I witness by cagers pales in comparison to "filtering". If it's safe and gets u from point a to b I see no issue other than butthurt people not willing to ride a bike themselves

>>1083115
>splitting lanes
What is your locale pls

>>1083223

It's not safe, because the primary danger to you is an angry cager. Cagers get angry when they feel like another road user is disrespecting them. NOTHING is more disrespectful to a cager than being in front of them, except being in front of them and going slow.

It's just basic shitter psychology. If you had been paying any attention you would know how this ends. It happened to fucking Froome and it is going to happen to you.

The law is not an arbiter of justice or righteousness. It is a protector of the status-quo.

>>1083228
Well said, thank you

>>1083228
>because the primary danger to you is an angry cager
Incorrect. The primary danger to cyclists is cagers who don't see them. Cyclists increase their safety by ensuring that they are seen.

>Went on my daily ride
>See two drunks sitting on bench
>Turn around
>"You've done that twice, what the fuck do you want"


>>1079691
If you get knocked off a bike and get up fast enough, you can be truly scary in a fight. Your adrenaline and rage levels go from 0-100 really fast before the attacker knows who they are messing with. It's never happened to me though, since I usually speed away from sketchy people. I see groups of kids like that all the time, and no >>1079691, they're not always black kids.

>>1083422
>Incorrect. The primary danger to cyclists is cagers who don't see them.
guess how i know you've never ridden in h-town

>>1083422
I bet that girl beaten to death by a cager wished for a neon vest.

>>1083933
Girls getting beaten by cagers makes the news. Girls getting hit by cagers that don't see them make the traffic accident statistics, not the news.

>>1077908
>>1076749
>>1076918
The vast majority of bees are peaceful and have never stung a person. Also they wouldn't need to come to our urban areas if we didn't keep pesticiding their countries.

>>1083942
The vast majority of refugees are peaceful and have never suicide bombed a person. Also they wouldn't need to come to our urban areas if we didn't keep bombing their countries.

>be me
>uni student
>all classes are at day time, so I don't have bike lights
>first exam of the year
>2:30 to 5:30
>can't be that dark out, right?
>I'm in the southern hemisphere, so it is dark
>am wearing black jacket and black jeans with black hemet, but white bike
>speeding down main, well-lit road
>strong cross-wind
>road curves so now I've got a tail wind
>fuck yeah
>crank my MTB up to max gear and get up to like 400rpm at the crank
>the gears don't really go high enough
>car turns across in front of me
>I brake, rear wheel fishtailing to the right by 15 degrees
>I still hit, make a big dent in the left fender, and another small one above the door
>1.5k repair cost, and it's probably falling on me
>I've a lightly sprained wrist, a slightly sore neck, and a front wheel that wanders from side to side
Still only the 3rd worse crash I've ever had. Second was after readjusting my brakes I face planted and sprained my wrist real bad, first place was when I rear-ended a parked car and smashed my two front teeth into the tow-bar. So now I've got two slightly sprained wrists and two fillings.

What should I be expecting to pay for a normal 26" wheel? (22.5" rim diameter, 1" rim thickness, 26" tire diameter, 2" tire thickness if that helps). Prices online vary from $100 to $300 new (lower end), but I don't know what's a reasonable quality replacement.

>>1083967
Get some fucking lights
It's okay to leave the helmet at home but its not okay to leave the lights at home.

>>1083983
I know, but owning lights for the maximum of 8 times in a year where I need to go out at night does seem a bit pointless. I'll buy them tonight.

>>1083990
I can't stress how important lights are for night riding. Even if you only rode in the night once a year it'd be worth it. I wouldn't worry about getting expensive lights, some cheap ones from aliexpress will do the job, but they need to be there.
The front light isn't really so you can see, it's so cars can see you, most importantly at junctions- they'll just pull out in front of you if they can't see you. Although being able to see is nice.

>>1083943
Remeber how well putting Jewish refugees in Palestine worked after WW2?

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>>1077907
>Bike maintenance day
>take it to the shop in the morning
>pick it up in the afternoon
>continue riding normally

>>1084055
>Bike maintenance day
1. straighten out the rims with dremeled spoon and sharpie
2. clean bike+drivetrain
3. wax bike
4. lube chain
5. adjust brakes
6. buff off wax
7. clean chain
8. adjust shifting system+brakes
9. check tire preshure
10. check head bearing clearance

That is my weekly routine