Morbid Depression whineposting edition
>quit school for cycling and because of severe autism
>don't even have a highschool education
>give everything to cycling
>get fucked over because of injuries and lose 20 mo. training and racing
>build everything back
>break wrist before key races last year and miss out
>this season
>$750 bike
>sleep in car for any multiple day race out of state
>only have 2.5 years of racing experience because of injuries losing an entire season
>still beating and breaking even with people who have $10,000 bikes and 10 years of raxcing experience
>apply to every single local team that can benefit me at all
>no one so much as replies
>dog has cancer
I keep trying. I feel better for a few days, burying my head in the sand and deluding myself into thinking I have a future of some kind. Its amazing how quickly the mood can change when the immediate feelings of worthlessness and no hope are removed. I even meditated the past few days and felt a lot better inside. But you can't hide for long. It comes back stronger. Bottom line - No Future. Just fucking trapped. Don't want to be NEET, don't want to be a fucking wageslave. Want independence so fucking badly, don't want to leave the house. Its catch 22 all the way
>stumble across Veloviewer Explorer Max Square feature
>sounds like fun since already obsessively filling out local heatmap
>little cock blocking squares everywhere limiting size of my blue squares
Most of the squares I missed in my normal riding have no roads leading into them, so I have to check out the area on google earth and see if there is some way into it via driveway or path leading to grain silo etc. A few have no way in at all. And the way squares are detected, they sometimes get skipped if the road is straight, of which there are many around here.
Largest square with every inner square filled is 14 x 14, roughly 196 square miles.
>>1071931
dude , how old are you ?
I feel like you have more to show for than many guys.
keep going and you will get in a team.
I think your just at the shit end of the curve but that's how it is , if you keep at it you will progress on the curve.
also stop comparing ourselfe to normies.
normies are poison.
your lifing the life they super shitty terrible and great life.
I just had a older guy suck my dick for money so I can buy a new bike.
...100% no joke
>>1072511
That's what I call a win / win situation.
>tfw almost KOM on a cool segment
><65F
>normal heart rate during exertion
>actually able to recover between efforts
>>80F
>constantly high heart rate, even at rest
>heart rate takes 3 times longer to drop to normal levels after exertion
FeelsBadMan
>bitches flagging segments
>>1072511
How much money did you get?
>>1074293
50€
...not that much.
>>1074298
The fuck kind of bike do you get for 50eur?
>>1071942
that looks fucking awful dude
>>1074302
non but it's 50€ towards a bigger sum.
and time was important
I'm a semi muscular manly dude with beard and tatoos , aparently that's not worth a lot in the gay scene.
>>1073699
>falgged as hazardous
wtf man, why is that even an option?
>>1075640
>aparently that's not worth a lot in the gay scene
you'd be surprised
>>1075717
Because racing on public streets is not always a good thing. Segments that more or less require running red light, going through blind curves at high speed or otherwise subject yourself or others to great risks to get a KOM can and should be stricken.
Why would you object to this?
>>1075640
>aparently that's not worth a lot in the gay scene
Look up 'bear'. It's huge in the gay scene. O-or so I've ... h-heard.
>>1075720
Heh... kid.... how can you even die if you never even lived......
>>1075723
>causes accident
>kills mother of three and leaves husband a vegetable
>spends the rest of life confined in cell with own angst and shame
YAY for living the high life .. I guess?
>>1075727
>getting caught because you were too out of shape from not taking ""risks""
And why are you typing like a girl?
>>1075738
Why shouldn't I? Did you just assume my gender?
>>1075727
>spends the rest of life confined in cell with own angst and shame
Prison time is exceedingly rare for being at fault in an accident if you weren't drunk. Even drunks only get a few years, assuming the police didn't make the smallest of procedural errors.
>>1075746
Normal accidents where what you did was wrong but not criminally negligent, yes. Involuntary manslaughter not so much.
What the fuck is going on here.