Bike anti-theft measures/GPS tracking?

like you are going to approach the thief and say "give bike back please sir"
yeah that will surely do

first of all, yes your new bike is gonna be stolen too. The time it takes is up to you but you should take note of these tips if you want it to last longer:
>cheap bike so they don't want to steal it or so your loss isn't a big deal
>Two hardened chains or U locks so your lock both wheels to the frame and both chains to a secure spot. This may cost more than the bike itself but don't go too cheap here.
>be sure the padlocks aren't of a dented or tubular key. Don't buy expensive padlocks, but the sturdy ones with plain keys for rotatory slits.
>ABUS bordo locks a shit
>Don't use removable bolts

Now, a good gps tracker is not going to be cheap plus you need a SIM card with data, you could check Freedompop's free data plan for that.
But you shouldn't get one. Trying to retrieve goods from bad people is dangerous as well and police would probably do nothing unless the bike is worth the effort of the bureaucracy behind it.

>>1019596
write down your serial number and fetch the fuzz

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>>1019599
Lock I got is pic related, how fucked am I? U shaped locks seemed more incovenient

best advice is just don't leave your bike on the street.
bring it inside, or on the inside of locked gate/fence, out of view of degenerates.
most cost effective way of securing your bike is u-locks.
the abus 140 is best. thick shackle, nearly unpickable lock, locks on both sides, hardened steel, cheapish. buy two for more protection. use it with a smaller chain lock for most flexibility. use the chain for friends bikes or for your wheels.
for individual components, hot glue ball bearings into the allen hex heads.
for quick release skewers, either use that chain through the wheels to the frame or hose clamp the lever to the frame or the fork. you better not be riding crabon fiber.
if you want to go all out, get some pitlocks or pinheads.
oh, and the best place to install your u-lock is the rear triangle.
sheldon method: http://www.sheldonbrown.com/lock-strategy.html
or a modified sheldon where you get the wheel and the chainstay, otherwise you'll be open to problems like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9fLtdZyX-A

at the end of the day, there's no fool-proof way to secure a bike.

>>1019611
that will take 5 seconds with a pair of bold cutters

>>1019649
How long with slim cutters?

>>1019611
Don't listen to that other anon. Square security chain is tough stuff. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ndpia0Zt5Cc&feature=player_detailpage

>>1019656
2.5 seconds, and 3 seconds with italic cutters

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Just bring it in and hang it on a wall like a piece of art. Worst felling in the world opening the bike shed and seeing an empty space

>>1019620
also suggested to buy the smallest u-lock available to minimize the chance for a leverage attack

>>1019590
Bring your bike inside with you whenever possible, or never be out of line-of-sight from it, or leave it at home and get around some other way. No bike lock is going to foil a determined thief, and no tracking device is going to do shit for you other than be something else that can be stolen that you'll have wasted money on.

use a combo of a U lock and a chain. The two lock types require different tools and techniques to break which might make a thief feel it isn't worth the effort

>>1019775
People say this but an angle grinder will cut through both

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>>1019775
Most thief's will come back the next day with the right tools for the job

install gentoo

>leave bike chained/D-locked to railings at one of the busiest parts of London
>this place is never remotely quiet apart from maybe between 2 and 5am
>come back a few hours later and it's gone
>thinking of how many people walked past the guy while he was breaking it and chose to do nothing
If you've ever done this, fuck you so much.

>>1019590
If you want a thief-proof bike and can't keep it inside you should either get a old beater or jsut make your bike unattractive enough so it won't get stolen.
Remove all decals, randomly use paint on frame, rims and basically every part accessible.
Use file to make scratches into every part. Nothing is allowed to stay untouched. Use sand paper for the shiny bits. Use paint + feathers on fenders. Use rusty wire for seatpost etc. Use duct tape to make headlight look fixed.

Most importantly: Never clean your bike (except where it is necessary for function).

Et voilà: Ugly duckling with zero appeal but fully functional. Granted, you'll drastically reduce resale value, but at least you will have a bike to sell.

>>1019804
Unless you got a specific chain with a nylon sheath sleeve surrounding it because those fivers will shred into the grinders motor and stop it from cutting. Think of tangle hair scenario.

Nothing stops a good thief, just make it hard to achieve and hope they go for a easier one

>>1021391
I always try to park my bike near a more expensive looking one.

>>1021399
For real this is the best answer so far.

Personally I've managed to get by so far without ever having to leave it chained up in public apart from for very short periods of time. But I'm about to get a new £700 tourer so I'm going to have to be super careful.