1. Start the video by laughing, coughing, or make some noise like a fucking retard, gotta give instant sound or movement to your infant minded audience. Sometimes act as your other character to bring an unprecedented amount of pandering and DUDE IRONY LMAO.
2. "Hi everyone, "Inserthony Unfunnymemetano here" internet's biggest cum gargling waste of space
3. Give a long and unnecessary exposition of the artist's history and take up 30% of the video talking about wikipedia found information. It's pure filler.
4. Talk about general information about the album's sonic qualities
(5a). "Analyze" some of the tracks. On instrumentals, use unnecessary adjectives to describe what is being played ("blistering keyboard progressions", "fish oil coated hi hats"), it sounds smart and no one will point out your pretentious way of speaking. Also point out obvious things about the record.
(5b). On song meanings just rephrase what the song is saying, ("In this song, Johnny Cash talks about how he falls into a burning ring of fire, and he went down, and the flames went higher, and that he burns.") and pretend that counts as analysis or what the song actually means.
6. Give your final opinion and overview of the record, and describe your listening experiences of it. Compare the album with past albums and talk about the artist's future. Talk about unoriginal viewpoints and obvious expectations.
7. Give your final score, which is what people only care about and drone on about ("hur dur whatdaya mean a 7?!) Even though it's in the description, and people spend a hardy 3 seconds on the video because of it. Sometimes you'll write, "Watchthevideodudegivememoney/10" if it's a video on a popular artist and want people to gruelingly sit through your 8-22 minutes of bullshit. Then again they can skip to the end. Sometimes when the album is a hot meme off the grill, you'll write "le maymay/10" or "poop/10" or "pandering out of 10" for your comedic quality.
Faaaaaart!
Tran-
>>75023057
How to youtube attention whore:
1. Make some ridiculous, exaggerated facial expression no one ever makes. Put that picture of your face in one half of the thumbnail and the subject of your video in the other half.
2. Beg for subscribes and donos at the end of every video.
that's all
>>75023299
Sition! Did you love it? Did you hate it? What would you rate it? You're the best, you're the best what should I review next? Hit the like if you like, please subscribe. Please don't cry if you disagreed with my review, just leave an angry comment down below. Okay? Okay. Anthony Fantano, Johnny Cash, FOREVER!
>>75023057
actually i noticed on his low end theory video he mentions something about "choclatey beats" what does that even mean