>Be Gillian Gilbert
>Be going out with Joy Division's drummer when Ian Curtis dies
>"Hey, why not join the new band on keyboards? We'll split everything equally"
>"But I can't play keyboards"
>"That's alright, neither can we"
>"OK lol"
>Spend the next 30 years standing like a statue on stage, playing keyboards with one finger, contributing virtually nothing to the songs, and getting a quarter of the money
Nick Mason
Mike Love
Ringo Starr
Freddie Mercury
The guy in Wham who wasn't George Michael
>Be Dick James, music publisher
>Brian Epstein asks you to publish the songs of a new band called the Beatles
>Get 50% of the Beatles publishing royalties for doing basically nothing
>Sell Northern Songs in 1969 because the Beatles are getting too weird
>Sign up a new artist called Elton John