What can I even say about Miles Davis? Everyone seems to love

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What can I even say about Miles Davis? Everyone seems to love this album and I'm happy for them but aside from the great main hooks in "All Blues" and the classic "So What," I have no tolerance for nor interest in hearing a bunch of guys making crap up on the spot.

Are you people absolutely CERTAIN that Miles didn't play his horn with his ass? These out-of-tune, weak "pfff-ARP"s and "bEEEP-bEEEEP"s are near-perfect imitations of intestinal gas.

Thus, my 5000-page dissertation arguing that Miles Davis put one over on the American people, using a magic marker to draw a face on his buttcheeks every night before shoving his trumpet up his ass and performing the latest hits. What's that? You want to know if I have proof? Well, it depends on what you mean by proof. If you mean do I have Miles Davis's corpse in my living room with a trumpet sticking out of its ass, then yes, I have proof. Otherwise, no.

To be fair, I gotta give a hand to the saxophone players on this album (Coltrane plays on a couple) - their parts are very easy on the ears: full-bodied and cool. But Miles? Yikes! Maybe the problem isn't his lack of talent but just the fact that the trumpet is a grotesque, unlistenable instrument. Having never played one, I should probably give ol' MD the benefit of the doubt. Lord knows that time I tried to play a trombone was no walk through the picnic!