More like Kind of Blew

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Everyone seems to love this album and I'm happy for them but aside from the great main hooks in "All Blues" and the classic "So What," I have no tolerance for nor interest in hearing a bunch of guys making crap up on the spot.

Are you people absolutely CERTAIN that Miles didn't play his horn with his ass? These out-of-tune, weak "pfff-ARP"s and "bEEEP-bEEEEP"s are near-perfect imitations of intestinal gas.

Thus, my 5000-page dissertation arguing that Miles Davis put one over on the American people, using a magic marker to draw a face on his buttcheeks every night before shoving his trumpet up his ass and performing the latest hits. What's that? You want to know if I have proof? Well, it depends on what you mean by proof. If you mean do I have Miles Davis's corpse in my living room with a trumpet sticking out of its ass, then yes, I have proof. Otherwise, no.

To be fair, I gotta give a hand to the saxophone players on this album (Coltrane plays on a couple) - their parts are very easy on the ears: full-bodied and cool. But Miles? Yikes! Maybe the problem isn't his lack of talent but just the fact that the trumpet is a grotesque, unlistenable instrument. Having never played one, I should probably give ol' MD the benefit of the doubt. Lord knows that time I tried to play a trombone was no walk through the picnic!