What's the worst review in the history of Pitchfork.com?

Awful "prog" metal for post-grunge kids

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>Album Of The Year leaves one feeling like waking up and finding last night's used condom -- sure, the ride was fun while it lasted, but what remains is just plain icky. And you definitely don't want it in your CD player.
2.4/10

>>74270950
Accurate
Introduce Yourself was FNM's magnum opus

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>>74270950
what a confusing album name

>>74270974
Angel Dust is the only good faith no more album

They still haven't recognized Despacito as 10/10.

All their Mars Volta reviews, I still don't know what happened. Did Omar fuck the writers' wives or something

>>74271080
very wrong
angel dust is just patton's bungle retardation polluting a once great band

>>74271111
quads confirm

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/9464-shine-on/

>>74270812

>read review
>it's very positive

Is there some sort of mistake with the rating?

>>74271117
Look at most of Pitchfork's reviews from that time. They loathed prog. Actually nearly killed the sort of prog renaissance that had been coming up.

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>>74271137
>>74271080
>>74270974

do y'all stretch out your muscles and warm-up before being this wrong? or does it come naturally?

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/5799-the-fragile/

This one

>>74272018
This is unironically the best P4K review. Every other one is just a shallow description of what you listen to using buzzwords

>>74272172
This

>>74270812
Ayo hol up
As shitty as """"""concept reviews"""""" general are, that Lateralus one is fuckng hilarious

>>74272071
That other guy is a retard but you're a bigger retard.

>>74271117
>implying any pitchfork writers would have a problem with someone fucking their wife

>>74270812
tool is boring as fuck

>>74272077
holy fuck that pissed me off
I had to stop reading after he mocked and questioned Trents authenticity
>still cunts

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>>74272431
what did this retard mean by this?

>>74272517
Should've know this retard would respond in this way...

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Malcolm Seymour III you fucking cretin

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Absolute travesty

>>74272489
The definitive edition that dropped this year got an 8.7 btw.

>>74272077
Still Cunts

>Ryan slipped in next to me.
>He pulled a maroon jewelry box from his Member's Only.
>"I was going to wait to give this to you," he said.
>"Oh, I, thanks," I said.
>Inside the box sat a green lapel pin shaped like the number six laid over Poseidon's trident.
>"It's a service pin. It's jade," Ryan said.
>"Yeah, I get the joke. I just don't see why six years is an anniversary to celebrate," I said.
>"That's how long the Pixies were around. Besides, I wanted to ask you to write a new review," he said.
>"Ah, Jesus, man, I knew there was a catch," I sighed.

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http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/368-untilted/

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What is wrong with them?

>>74272448
this

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/5798-things-falling-apart/

>>74273832
what is a drukq

You know how when you look at a picture of someone from years ago wearing something ridiculous and rocking a retarded haircut and you ask yourself how could they not know how fucking stupid they looked?
That's Pitchfork. Every second of every day. Everything they have ever sanctioned. That's Pitchfork.

they gave weezer a 10

>>74271111
quads confirm it to be 11/11

DES

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/4270-the-gap/

They barely talk about the music
ruined tim kinsella's reputation as well

>>74274145
That album sucked m8

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I know I'm going to get people saying lol Godspeed sucks anyway, but basically the only reason they panned UXO was because post-rock was going out of fashion at the time.

>>74274790
maybe, but it was going of fashion for a reason.

>pitchfork
>rating music
>best albums are always rap """music""""
>unironically top score rap
>on a music review website

>>74274790
this. yanqui uxo is a beautiful album that uses nothing but music and composition without out of context samples to create ambience

>>74274816
It was going out of fashion because of everyone in the genre getting incredibly same-y and copying lysf. UXO tried to take a different course to what they had done in LYSF and got shat on for being 'plodding'.
Just seems off to me that they were willing to give lysf a 9 and a glowing review and uxo a 5.6 and a review that shows enough contempt that makes you think that the author probably wanted to lower the score beyond that.

>>74270812
tmv

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http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/368-untilted/

This has got to be the worst review by P4K ever, right?

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hasn't been updated in a very long time

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>>74270812
this one plus kid a, by the same terrible writer

>>74275080
what's wrong with the wop review

>>74275136
>I had never even seen a shooting star before. 25 years of rotations, passes through comets' paths, and travel, and to my memory I had never witnessed burning debris scratch across the night sky.
Kek, this opening is on par with The Life of Pablo's

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/thread

>>74275080
>Frances the Mute gets 2.0
>Lil Wayne gets 8.7
They gave Deloused a horrible rating as well. They must hate TMV or something.

>>74275054
confused. What makes it so bad?

>>74273861
Agreed.

>>74273832
All of my rage

>I had never even seen a shooting star before.

>>74270812
This review read out like a nervous breakdown, it was pretty entertaining desu

>>74275136
>>74275413
>The experience and emotions tied to listening to Kid A are like witnessing the stillborn birth of a child while simultaneously having the opportunity to see her play in the afterlife on Imax. It's an album of sparking paradox. It's cacophonous yet tranquil, experimental yet familiar, foreign yet womb-like, spacious yet visceral, textured yet vaporous, awakening yet dreamlike, infinite yet 48 minutes. It will cleanse your brain of those little crustaceans of worries and inferior albums clinging inside the fold of your gray matter. The harrowing sounds hit from unseen angles and emanate with inhuman genesis. When the headphones peel off, and it occurs that six men (Nigel Godrich included) created this, it's clear that Radiohead must be the greatest band alive, if not the best since you know who. Breathing people made this record! And you can't wait to dive back in and try to prove that wrong over and over.

>>74275291
They just hate prog

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>>74275434
imagine getting paid to write this

>>74275313
It's really obnoxious when the review doesn't reflect on the album, and essentially just criticizes the music and the artist themselves without giving reasonable points.