swans sucjs

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This band is the shittiest, most pretentious mess of a band in indie music's fucking history.

Their most acclaimed albums are literally comprised of about 10% songwriting, and 90% droning guitar loops. This fucking scam artist Michael Gyro or whatever the fuck his name is has perfected the art of scamming pretentious """"music"""" listeners out of their cash by writing one goddamned bridge and repeating it for thirty minutes, while occasionally shouting, and then selling it on vinyl for an arm and a leg.

You know what? Let's talk about his fucking voice. Jesus Christ, half of the lyrics on any given Swans song are just this fifty year old cowboy wannabe shouting in the most irritating, meth-addict esque voice he can possibly fucking muster (Which is impressive, because the premise of a band where half of the songs are ONE FUCKING MELODY LOOPED FOR TWENTY MINUTES is already the most annoying fucking thing I've ever seen).

People literally watch this man and his "band" play one chord for half an hour while the drummer lightly taps his high hats while he screams "FUCK FUCK FUCK CUNT FUCK FUCK FUCK CUNT" and say "WOW I NEED TO BUY THIS ON VINYL, EVEN IF IT TAKES ALL THE MONEY I MADE FROM WORKING AT STARBUCKS LAST WEEK".

I dare you, I fucking dare you to find ONE message or theme of interest or any kind of remote fucking meaning of worth in any song by Swans (I'm not saying "Swans song" because that's what they want and fuck them). ONE. ONE FUCKING THEME OR PIECE OF LYRICAL CONTENT that isn't incoherent rambling or curse words.

They should go back and just make an album based off of the end of A Piece of the Sky. You know that Gira isn't really some big tough conservative douche like he makes himself out to be, you know that he wants to settle down and have a nice little jangle folk outfit. And you know what? He should. It sucks in the first place but it least it isn't him and four people battering expensive instruments while he shouts expletives.