Music-related shitposting

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>be me
>walk into Guitar Center
>some douche playing the same Enter Sandman riff over and over
>typical day in GC, whatever
>proceed to strip down to nothing but this American flag thong I had on and an old colonial hat
>next take a real American flag and wear it as a cape
>grab nearest electric
>plug in to an amp and play Don't Tread On Me obnoxiously loud
>sandman douche notices that I'm playing another superior song off of the same Metallica album
>itson.jpg
>sandman douche turns up his volume and aggressively plays Stairway to Heaven
>not on my watch
>volume goes up, I start to play Fortunate Son
>can hear several attack helicopters flying over
>douche is visibly pissed
>starts to play Iron Man
>it's just not good enough
>my attack enters its final phases as I start shredding the Star Spangled Banner
>douche can't take much more, has become immobilized with patriotism
>go through the entire anthem until I get to the final note
>purposefully hold the note to keep him in suspense
>play the final note
>suddenly an eagle screeches
>douche explodes into a glorious show of fireworks that would make a Rammstein concert seem tame
>put my clothes back on and walk out like nothing happened
Don't Tread On Me