Moby

moby is bald lmao

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

hey vsauce michael here

>>73417872
Because he's a 36 year old bald headed fag and nobody listens to techno.

>>73417872
he is lost in the world like me

Someone needs to photoshop him into an eggcup on that table

>>73417872
He is straying further away from gods light

>>73417988
Marshall pls go

>>73417872
I mean, have y'all HEARD his new album?
It sucks shit.
He was never anything really special, but now he's really hit the bottom of the poop-encrusted fuck barrel.

DALE

nobody listens to techno and now he's too old to fuck models

>>73417883
But what is here?

>>73418031
Did you hear his new album?
More Fast Songs About The Apocalypse?
It totally sucks cawk.

>>73418940
Nobody?