Learn an instrument

press down on the keys

>>72383315
I thought you just slap your dick on them

Stay away from the black keys

first, learn what note is what. Nothing else will come if you don't have a solid knowledge of what note is what. Then, learn the major and minor scales. This is what everything pretty much fits into. From there, I would just start learning basic chords in your left hand and basic melodies in your right. Idk how much of an ear you have, but its really important to be able to understand like where a melody is likely to go, or what direction a song is moving, it just helps your fingers hit the notes best. Idk any more than that to tell you, just depends what works. Sheet music helps a lot of people, but I've never been able to use it, so just do what works for you.

Get a teacher. Fuck scales (not completely obviously), play Bach instead. Practice. Enjoy.

Get a teacher and fuck her on the piano

>>72383331

>>Idk how much of an ear you have, but its really important to be able to understand like where a melody is likely to go

It's hard to teach yourself how to play if you can't hear that. Reading notes is not that hard but playing by myself is almost impossible for me

>>72383351
>Fuck scales (not completely obviously), play Bach instead.
Just what the hell do you think Bach is? Bach is probably the biggest scale slut of them all behind Brahms

>>72383309
none of you dude sex lmao teenboys are funny, go back to tell these retarded jokes to 13 year olds in the school

>>72383403
Well duh. What joy is there to play fucking scales over and over again? You need a good substitute. And Bach is pretty much that.

>>72383387
>her

Women don't music.

>>72383449
Only if there are instruments in the kitchen

>>72383403
Nope that's Mozart

What are basic songs to learn for beginners?

>>72383482
No... it really is Bach.

>>72383438
>What joy is there to play fucking scales over and over again?
I pray to God you don't play an instrument. It's called riffing for a reason. What the hell do you think improv is? You dont have to play every note of a scale in exact order up and down to be playing the scale or "riffing." However to address you tangentle assertion, the joy in "playing a scale over and over" comes from one simple thing: speed.

>>72383497
Fur elise
Fucking everybody knows it anyways

>>72383309
You could try something like Synthesia

Try out learning a couple of different ways then pick the best

love this anime

start learning when you are 2 and study 10 hours a day because otherwise your asian parents will whip your ass