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BASED Music Critics?

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Thread replies: 46
Thread images: 5

Christgau anyone?

My favourite of his 'capsule reviews':
Radiohead: OK Computer [Capitol, 1997]
My favorite Pink Floyd album has always been Wish You Were Here, and you know why? It has soul, that's why--it's Roger Waters's lament for Syd, not my idea of a tragic hero but as long as he's Roger's that doesn't matter. Radiohead wouldn't know a tragic hero if they were cramming for their A levels, and their idea of soul is Bono, who they imitate further at the risk of looking even more ridiculous than they already do. So instead they pickle Thom Yorke's vocals in enough electronic marginal distinction to feed a coal town for a month. Their art-rock has much better sound effects than the Floyd snoozefest Dark Side of the Moon. But it's less sweeping and just as arid. B-
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nah he's annoying desu
and especially in recent months, almost as overposted as scaruffi
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Nat Hentoff
Leonard Feather
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>>72270701
why
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>>72270601
Christgau is easily my favorite critic. He's shat on a lot of albums I love, but never without a good argument, and I think he has a pretty great sense of what rock music should be. I don't know what to make of his fascination with modern hip-hop, though. It's admirable that someone so old can appreciate it, but he gave an A to Soulja Boy, so I don't know how seriously to take him when it comes to hip-hop.
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Christgau makes me feel stupid but he has really good taste for the most part. Who else (rightly) recognizes Wussy as the best band in America this century?
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>>72270781
>has a pretty great sense of what rock music should be
LOLNO
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>>72270828
please elaborate
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>>72270781
pop-hop and punk are christgau's fetishes, his bias makes his reviews hit or miss
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>>72270983
Oh, the usual. "The plus is because Peter Townshend likes it. This can also be said of The Crazy World of Arthur Brown. Beware the forthcoming hype--this is ersatz shit. D+"
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>>72270781
>>72270828
Like most critics, he has an incredibly limited idea of what rock can be. If it's not three chord ditties about teenage love or complaining about Republicans, he thinks it's fake pretentious art rock.
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>>72271248
you know if you could some day get past the asspain of this one flippant joke maybe you could enjoy some of the other reviews
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>>72270781
>but never without a good argument
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>>72271786
And he also complains about sexism in rock a lot unless it's bands he happens to like such as the Rolling Stones. Then he comes up with elaborate excuses for their objectifying women.
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Not all of these would be my picks, but ok. I couldn't get into Dancer With Bruised Knees at all.
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Christgau has a better, less convoluted, more focused website than Scaruffi, but his top ratings are normie tier.
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He shat on Scott Walker so he clearly has no idea what he's doing
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>>72271972
To be fair, Scaruffi isn't a professional critic, he just does it as a hobby. It's a little amusing to contrast his European POV which includes a lot of jerking it to classical music and various Baroque metal genres.

Keep in mind that 90% of Christgau's reviews are contemporary ones written back when the album came out, so he didn't have 30-40 years of retrospective on them like when we talk about dadrock albums today.
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>>72271970
Earth, Wind, and Fire--All 'n All was another '77 release he rated highly but I find it just okay. It's adequate elevator/lounge music, too slick and polished for me.

Of course if I were doing a '77 list, I'd include Sin After Sin, but I'm not Cuckgau.
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>>72270781
he's so full of himself i can't take him seriously. at least scaruffi really doesn't care about his public pedo image and shitfork knows it's a bunch of college dropouts reviewing children music
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Christgau has no kids of his own, just an adopted daughter from Central America so at least his genetics will die with him.
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At least Christgau does have a pretty wide range of stuff he listens to including lots of genres/artists /mu/ never touches especially things like country and black music outside of meme rappers.

He is every bit as guilty as /mu/ of waifuism however, for example with Bonnie Raitt and Janet Jackson.
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>>72272433
she's an even bigger music nut than he is
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Scaruffi, now he does have a pretty big problem with having a hateboner for some artists especially the Beatles and David Bowie. He also has a strange fetish for buttmetal like Disturbed and Buckcherry.
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>>72272692
He rated the first limp bizkit album higher than the entire beatles discography iirc.
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christgau is a bigger hack than scaruffi which is an incredibly impressive feat
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>>72272738
Oh god, I can imagine Christgau's facial expression if you told him that Three Dollar Bill, Y'all was better than the Beatles' entire catalog.
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>>72272738
what no he didn't haha?
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"Christgau has stated that his favorite artists of all time are Louis Armstrong, Chuck Berry, the Beatles, and the New York Dolls. He has also stated that he does not like heavy metal, progressive rock, jazz fusion, gospel, Irish folk, and bluegrass."
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Christgau is a literally who hack who people only know because he has a website and forces his reviews into wikipedia pages
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>>72272692
Reminder that he said this, according to Scaruffi, was song of 2005.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSvVohwEtBc
>German quartet Banaroo delivered one of the most demented dance-pop anthems of all times, Dubi Dam Dam (2005). It was the only decent track on Banaroo's World (2005). The follow-up album was even worse. But that first anthem is a masterpiece.
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There's literally hundreds of artists, including some very good and influential ones that Cuckgau relegated to his Meltdown and Distinctions Not Cost Effective shitbucket lists.
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>>72272780
>>72272818
It was Korn, not limp bizkit, sorry. although both korn and limp bizkit have a higher average rating than the beatles.
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>>72272942
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my god there's no fucking way this is real
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"Instead of appealing to kids' natural idealism and curiosity, the industry instead decided to appeal to all that was cowardly, brutal, and stupid in the rock audience. Heavy metal, for all its symphonic bombast, is a real rock-and-roll style, but with very few exceptions, its content is egotistic at best and nihilistic at worst. Meanwhile, schlock merchants and nostalgia mongers of all stripes managed to turn AM radio into the refuge from intelligence that cynics had always believed it to be."
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>>72271860
yeah holy shit I refuse to believe that post was serious
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Christgau's top 30 for '88, the year I was born. Holy shit, I'm surprised he didn't choke to death on his own pretentiousness. It looks like some art student with a beret who jerks off to Jackson Pollack made this list.
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>>72270781
>but never without a good argument
well given the fact that he rates anything he doesn't like with a bomb emoji with no explanation, he pretty much shits on things with no argument whatsoever
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>>72273186
"A dud rating indicates an album I found to be tedious, boring, disappointing, or outright offensive."
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i just get tired of reading his reviews because when he isn't being obtuse for the sake of being obtuse, he throws the "art rock" label at anything he doesn't like and then references a bunch of random afro-pop albums because "look how diverse I am guize". can't stand reviewers that make the review all about themselves rather than the music (see: pitchfork)
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>>72273217
man, i never read that sentence on his website before, thanks for sharing. that one sentence sure sheds a lot of insight on the thousands of albums he's trashed with no further explanation
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>>72273227
>he throws the "art rock" label at anything he doesn't like and then references a bunch of random afro-pop albums

So like 75% of this list >>72273178.

I admit, 1988 wasn't an especially great year for music, but jerking off to anti-apartheid albums made by banned artists in South Africa doesn't make you smart, it makes you smarmy.
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>>72270601
>it's another boomer with a shitty web 1.0 """rock critic""" website episode
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>>72274050
I'm sorry you have issues with your father, Anon.
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some faggot really seems to like shilling this hack around here recently, 44 replies with 20 posters

fuck off please
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>>72274050
Why does Fantano shave his head? He has a nice head of white hair. Does he want to be black that bad?
Thread posts: 46
Thread images: 5


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