ITT: Lyrics YOU have written

Here I go:

CAW CAW CAW CAW

>>71816452
Damn, those are shit anon.
Not posting "mines" (wich is just implying I have anything at all) because they're (would be) shit as well.

HEY NOW WELL ITS A LOVE THING

>>71816518
why you gotta put a homie down

>>71816452
johnnys in the basement mixing up the medicine
im on the pavement thinking about the government

>>71816540
rude bwoy he in da area.

rude bwoy pon up de aea

I'm a creator
Fierce immolator
Grow green the diseases of
Our entertainers
Hand of the maker
Makes no mistakes or
So we've been led to believe

I've lost my mind
There's no making it up again
But I'm in control
At least I'm telling myself I am
I'm overjoyed
A crime of passion a crime of pain
Come feel my voice
Through the front of my throat, and out again

>>71816452
No offense but yea these are pretty bad

I'd try to give some feedback if you want

i woke up a lonely man this morning, my angel left me a broken man its true
i miss the way her arms held me gently, but most of all those eyes - the brightest blue


im trying to put out a country album by the end of the year, be nice guys

Shit my pants again
Peed my pants again
Threw up on my pants again
These pants gotta go
My life gotta go

>>71817893
It's fine but it ain't nothin special. If that's what you're going for, keep goin, but if not you should spruce up your imagery/lyricism here, this is a step away from dog/truck/whiskey territory

>>71817893
Sorry but this is drivel.

>>71817914
Hi Filthy Frank when are you putting out a new Joji album?

>>71817920

classic blue country is what im going for, im gonna start making frequent motorcycle trips aorund the southern states and hopefully gain some more experience with ramblin to help my songwriting.

sorry im a fledgling dudes

>>71817932
Nah don't apologize, just try to make it a little neater, maybe a pinch less cliched and throw in a little more evocative language. Also blue country tends to do the same thing as pop where the lyrics fit really neatly into the melody or structure, so that's something to consider too.

>>71817950
yeah i suppose i could read a little bit more mark twain or some shit to fancy up the language, this was the first song i wrote tho

and if she says come inside, i'll come inside for her
and she says give it all, i'll give everything to her

What's hard to resist
Is always easy to find
My mind is torn and gets eaten
Like fruit off a broken branch
It gets grabbed by the lowest ones

Oh, light up my life baby
Pass me the torch or our
Loose lips and loose ends will
Tear us apart, I'm
Submerged in the sheets of our
Summertime bed
And I'm light in my stomach i'm
Light in my head

Goin for indie pop here lemme kno how close i am