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Hi! I'm a non english speaker and i beg your help for writing my lyrics for a new project
this song is called "the red score" and talks about trauma, dissociation and self harm.
the metaphore of the red score stands for the cut in the skin that looks like a phentagram and the blood drops that looks like notes (picture related). Can you please help me improve my lyrics?
You can draw a red score
right under your skin
if "nothing" really changes
what "nothing" really means?
and you can fall apart
in your censorship
without a single clue of what you have been
if i could change something left in you just to find a way to breathe
if i could change anything to have you by my side
and i will wait forever
until it's gone
until it's better
and i will wait forever
but nothing is gonna change after all
nothing is gonna change you after all
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Could you not post photos like this? Thanks.
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>>69980337
You're too pure for 4chan.
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>>69980363
I live in an imperfect world, still it is a bit triggery Mmmm?
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>>69980363
This.
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well the grammar in the first six lines is all wrong for starters
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>>69980270
>if "nothing" really changes
>what "nothing" really means?
I don't know what this means, I'm assuming the " " is suppose to let us know that these words are meant to be taken a different way than literal?
If that's the case, you must understand you can't actually sing in a way that emphasizes the words in " " to mean something else without sounding corny as fuck.
You possibly could in spoken speech, using inflection as indication, but as inflection is kind of a melody in itself, it will detract from the melody you will be singing and sound silly
I think you should try to be more straight forward, because you will lose a lot of people there.
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>>69980475
can you please explain?
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>>69980337
seconded
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And without "" does it sounds natural?
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just write in your mother tongue desu.
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