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Anonymous
/cringe/: bandcamp atrocities 2016-12-19 11:29:46 Post No.
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/cringe/: bandcamp atrocities 2016-12-19 11:29:46 Post No.
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Melbourne edition:
>First Kiss
is the lo-fi bedroom soft rock musical project of two teenage art students, characterized by their dreary guitar sound, terrible production, sparse and spastic use of GarageBand and the dull, flat vocals of the singer. Musically this is the typical “muh experumentul” band that uses the label to cover their asses for their terrible attempts at songwriting and composing (or the lack of). I personally know the girl, she’s the typical rich hipster girl that lives in the wealthy inner city suburbs of Melbourne and thinks she’s more talented/creative/interesting than she actually is. The lyrics are pseudo-deep attempts at giving these songs weight and depth but of course they fall flat just like the music and come off as more pretentious than it already is. The music is dreary and boring and uninspired, it will put you to sleep in the worst possible way. Uninspired is probably the best word to throw around with this “band” if you can even call it one. Someone must’ve told these kids that Lo-fi bands and bedroom projects meant weak, tired and boring songwriting because that’s what this is. Their “second album” (if you can even call it that) only shows a minor improvement over their first, probably due to sheer circumstance because these songs still sound like they were written/composed/recorded in an hour. Cover art is your run-of-the-mill pretentious bullshit. Seen worse but.
https://septemberlizards.bandcamp.com/album/it-takes-four-minutes-to-fall-in-love
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>Jakimo Jones
is the stage name of this 17-year-old rapper from the suburbs in Melbourne. He is the epitome of teenage boys trying so hard to rap and embarrassing themselves in the act. A self-described “progressive” album boasts an opening track that clocks in at 9 minutes (with a Rick and Morty sample that lasts the final 2 minutes serving no purpose or relevance other than to show you how different and creative and unique Jakimo Jones is) shows you everything you need to know about this guy. Terribly strange beats, bland production, disgusting vocals, and a surprisingly decent flow for a 17-year-old kid from Melbourne fill this album. If you can excuse the stupid song titles and actually attempt to listen to one of these tracks you will see what I mean and understand how I feel. Unlike, Jakimo Jones who remains “PROGRESSIVE AND CHALLENGING TO LISTEN TO” because that’s how this album was composed, you’re not “supposed” to understand it or even like it. It was done like that on purpose. Jakimo Jones’ ambitious and experimental attempts at playing the game and being a hip-hop artist and rapper may be somewhat credible or at least forgiveable to some extent if it wasn’t for his narcissistic expression that “NOT EVERYONE [WILL] UNDERSTAND WHAT I WENT THROUGH TO MAKE THIS AND MOST OF YOU WONT GIVE IT A FULL ROUND BUT I UNDERSTAND, YOU DON'T HAVE THE CAPACITY THAT I DO”. Yeah fuck this kid. Fucking pretentious faggot. Saying this isn’t going to cover for your shitty music, mate, go fuck yourself.
https://jakimojones.bandcamp.com/album/the-art-of-not-knowing
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>>69757497
>>69757535
this music is fine though. are you just pissed that you aren't good at music?
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>Hospital
is probably the most popular/well-known band on here in the Melbourne “experumentul” scene. Even copping a review from Xiu Xiu of which they dickride so much. Hospital is another teenage duo of talented art students who decided to put their creative and artistic efforts into making some of the most painfully unlistenable music I have ever heard anyone ever seriously try to make. The frontman is some cunt called Alfie Dodds, a real faggot with big lips for sucking Xiu Xiu’s musical dick with. He is also one of those cunts with gender dysphoria and transgirl issues or whatever that dramatic bullshit is that they always talk about for attention. These kinds of topics are brought up in their music making their songs probably the most interesting or musically “proper” on this list however their dull production, strange and horribly-offbeat music and vocal performances that range from weak, low-energy and bored to passionately embarrassing and melodramatic , mark them as one of the most pretentious and shitty “bands” I have ever heard. They are the kind of people that are wasting people’s braincells, oxygen and internet megapixel data space with their fucking stupid pseudo-deep and pretentious “music”. Don’t let the “experimental” label or the Xiu Xiu review fool you, this is shitty weird retarded music for downies at it’s worst (or best if it’s for downies, like all art students in Melbourne), and justifies acts of homicide and manslaughter.
https://hospital1.bandcamp.com/
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>>69757613
jimmy smug gtfo we both know it's fucking trash.
>>69757535
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gy0JjaFr66Y
>overalls
>half-assed blue body paint
>pink bowlcut
>goofy dancing
>hype man that isn’t even in time with the music or rapping
>bright orange shirt tucked into baggy pants with the tweed coat
>PINKBOWLCUT.jpeg
just fuck my shit up cunt
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>>69757497
>https://septemberlizards.bandcamp.com/album/it-takes-four-minutes-to-fall-in-love
This is actually pretty good.
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>>69757639
OP here, a solid find yeah? Check out their first album for more feels it's pretty depressing.
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>>69757667
wait, so you call them shitty cringe but then say its a solid find and to check out more?
fuck your shilling
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>>69757702
it's called sarcasm jimmy smug if you like it then check it out and support the artists, I don't care mate. This is a cringe thread post your content, or go tell First Kiss how much you like their music (facebook: Claire Osborn-Li)
don't be an annoying cunt.
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>>69757741
>jimmy smug
How do you not know Jimmy Strings? He's in one of the most famous Australian bands of all time.
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Is this a meta thing where the real cringe is how many words you spent reviewing all of these?
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>>69757841
wasn't supposed to be but it turned out that way
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>>69757497
sage
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>>69757762
>he was
ftfy
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I thought I would learn to appreciate some of my old bandcamp albums but a lot of them are trash.
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>>69757497
as long as i love this guy, this is cringe as fuck
https://scrugley.bandcamp.com/album/overdokkse
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>>69757497
its listenable, nothing new but at least isnt crap sound
>>69757535
this is actual cringe btw
>>69757621
I can bet that people bought this bcs of the cover, music is actually bad.
>>69759945
this is not from melbourne, and not actual cringe if you know those genres.
Thread posts: 17
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Thread images: 7