cannot believe this just happened /mu/

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Can't believe this just happened. I'm so sorry Asia.

>be me
>be skinny white metalhead with short hair
>have hot asian girlfriend
>out biking last night
>she asks for music recommendations
>adjust fedora"have you heard of Devin Townsend's Ocean Machine: Biomech?"
>no?
>she downloads it on spotify
>I go back to listening on ipod classic because patrician
>we start biking again
>I notice she is biking really fast
>holyshitshesheadbaning.gif
>she begins biking faster than the fucking cars next to us
>passing by local zoo
>She leaps off her bike and mounts an elephant and jumps it over the fence
>at this point I'm smearing lube all overmyself
>when she looked at me fucking lightning bolts appear in her eyes
>she seeth's with rage
>morelube.pdf
>"uh if you want...I have some Behemoth you could listen to if you want hun?"
>her elephant grabs the ipod with its trunk
>she puts the headphones on
>she begins seizing
>an enormous mustache sprouts from beneath her nose
>slowly but unmistakenbly she transforms into Ghengis Khan
>"...honey?"
>Ghengis looks at me tenderly, headphones still in
>"I am the punishment of God...If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you"
>mw after a kiss on the cheek she leapt back onto the elephant and proceeded to sack the Mohi pennisula.
>mfw I learned not to share metal with asian girls
>mfw now i have to pay 800 for a new ipod classic