Introducing: the Official /mu/ Guide to Music Criticism!

>>68345978
clearly biased towards scaruffi

all reviewers are shit except scaruffi

especially christgau

So basically

Fantano > Christgau > Pitchfork > Scaruffi

>>68345978
>he thinks fantano is ever funny
>le sjw meme
>le nu-male meme
here's an (OP)

>>68346029
>fantano
Kill yourself 9th grader

Scaruffi > Fantano > Christgau > Pitchfork

>reading reviews, nevermind caring about them
Why even bother pretending to like music? You don't care about music, you care about perceived status.

>>68345978
Someone sat down and made this
jfc

>>68345978
>can't articulate his opinions
Where did this meme come from?

I like Fantano because he seems genuinely passionate about music and tends to make his reviews enjoyable

I like him even though i don't always agree with him

Scaruffi is overrated as fuck

>>68345978
nice OC tho

Christgau was a dirty rotten poptimist while we were in grade school, at least Fantano doesn't hate something if it's ambitious

>>68346222
But does that justify spending time on him and predisposing yourself to bias that may disenchant a lot of music for you?

>>68346147

No one cares about reviews, they just like to troll fans of the music in question

>>68346216
Watching his reviews

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>hating on scaruufs
FOOLS

scaruffi is legit senile

Say what you want about Scaruffi, at least he acknowledges that his opinions are subjective and that people hate him for what he says.

Also, what the fuck.

He gave Aqua a 7/10. I fail to see how they're at all avant-garde.

> Christgau widely respected

> Fantano charismatic

> le sjw maymay

the scaruffi one is the only one that's even close to being right

>>68346242
they go on /mu/ so they understand that they're retarded and need to rely on others' opinions

>>68346222
I've just been gradually losing interest in him. That masturbatory hour-long Corey Feldman review was the final straw. What sort of narcissist needs to tear apart a mentally ill manchild like that?

early christgau > fantano > scaruffi > post 2000 christgau > my mom > some highschooler with a blog > 12 miles of horse feces > pitchfork

>>68346706
Yep, early Christgau and late Christgau are like two different people. Early Christgau was a lot more cutting and harsh but nowadays he's old and doesn't give a fuck and just gives it an A if he liked it

>>68345978
What if I don't listen to rap or rock?

Where's my reviewer?

>>68345978
All 4 are cancer

>no John McFerrin
Out of those I say Fantano = Scaruffi > Christgau >p4k
also reviewers are shitheads and RYM is better for discovering music

>>68346706
>some highschooler with a blog

They are literally all the equivalents of blogs. If all of Christgau's writings had been on the internet to begin with people would rightfully dismiss it as some random dude's personal blog/website.

Scaruffi recommends the most interesting stuff. Christgau and Fantano have some of the most vanilla tastes I've ever seen. Random RYM users are more interesting that Christgau and Fantano.

If no one ITT is willing to defend Pitchfork then why is there a /p4k/ general every night?

>>68346941
no one wants to look like a hipster even though they absolutely are

>>68345978
kill you'reself, cuckgau

>>68346906
>Christgau and Fantano have some of the most vanilla tastes I've ever seen
I mean that's kind of what they go for though, like they try to keep it simple so as not to alienate anyone

Like could you imagine if fantano just recommended drone metal all day (like he probably would do if he could)

>>68346941
It's only a small number of people in those threads and they aren't here right now obviously.

Lrn2checkpostcounts

>>68346941
Because the interns have to do something

>>68346906
Christgau was actually part of an important counterculture critical movement thst also included Lester Bangs and Greil Marcus, so no

well this is the worst fucking post i've ever seen

>>68347238
Newfag

>>68345978
>Fantano
When all else, bash the mixing!

>>68347303
*fails

>le "I Killed Christgau With My Big Fuckin' Dick" guy who praised Kanye West and Lennon/Yoko Ono over Velvet Underground
>Rolling Stones from the 2000s who dictates what is good and should have success on their agenda
>le regular guy with a camera
There are much more competent younger people on rym who do what fantano does and it isn't even their "full-time" job, Fantano is just a 30yo with a camera who got luck and jerk off to his indie fanbase and /mu/newfags with memes (like his youtube circlejerk aka Filthy Frank, Matfoe, Leafyishere, h3h3productions)

It's not even a question that Scaruffi is the best choice. Even if you don't like his 9s he still introduces you to a thousand of great bands who aren' even mentioned on the music press.

Also I failed to see how he only praises highly "avant-garde" stuff when he likes The Doors, Lisa Germano, Guns N' Roses, Aqua, Bruce Springsteen and fucking Nine Inch Nails.

>>68345978
>Hobby blogger
>Actual critic
>Retard with webcam
>Emag journos

>>68347275
>

>>68347390
Good reply pal, u showed him

>>68347407
(You)

Scaruffi>>Fantano>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Christgau>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Pitchfork

>>68347431
ok.

Christgau >>>>>> Pitchfork >> Fantano >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Scaruffi

>>68347454
I agree with this anon (not true, by the way)

>>68347568
ok, thanks for replying.

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>>68345978
Where can I find a mix of scaruffi and Christgau? Someone that acknowledges the pretention in avant music and places priority on something earnestly enjoyable but still occasionally praises the good in avant/experimentalism

>>68347619
Christgau likes experimentation though, like he gave DNA on DNA an A-

>>68346268
Honestly, sort of this.

I like Christgau a bit, he's eloquent. He's intelligent. However, for someone who seems to hate any self-interest, any pretension, and any ambition, he sure does seem to write a lot of books about himself and his perspective or importance as a music critic.

He's an intelligent guy that prefers less attempts at intelligent and more attempts at music. He can be good, but in no way should he be considered a metric.

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>Scaruffi
genuine person. his reviews being popularized is in itself a meme. just a relatively articulate guy with certain musical preferences and sensibilities. nothing too special.
>Fantano
meme persona. review style is pretty well done. uses a lot of adjectives and repeats himself a lot. just a relatively articulate guy with certain musical preferences and sensibilities. nothing too special.
>Pitchfork (*conde nast)
hack publication with a musical and social agenda catering to wealthy musicians with PR connections and Woke nu-millenial-males. absolute trash; tries to sell you music using entirely unrelated current events and social justice memes.
>Christgau
dad-rockist, irrelevant in 2016

Christgau wanks over lyrics way too much. Sure, good songwriting is nice, but I'll usually forgive shit lyrics if the song is catchy and has a good beat.

>>68347364
>le "I Killed Christgau With My Big Fuckin' Dick" guy who praised Kanye West and Lennon/Yoko Ono over Velvet Underground

He was a personal friend of Lennon and Yoko so has an element of bias there.

>>68346793
>Early Christgau was a lot more cutting and harsh but nowadays he's old and doesn't give a fuck and just gives it an A if he liked it
Well, the fact that he's old means he doesn't have 30-40 years to watch an artist's career evolve the way he did with the Rolling Stones. I mean, he's not gonna be around in 2048 to write a column on the 40th anniversary of Born This Way and that album's cultural significance.

>>68348806
i didn't know that

>>68348806
>implying that's a good thing

>>68348786
He generally has a dislike of AOR and likes short, poppy singles. He said that bands like Jefferson Airplane were what transformed rock-and-roll into just rock.

Scaruffi now, he's probably dumber than Christgau since he always complains that rock can never live up to the musical standards of classical, while Christgau is at least smart enough to know that rock isn't supposed to be in the same realm as classical.

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scaruffi > christgau = fantano > pitchfork
and that's the honest-to-god truth doc

>>68349058
I think it's because Scaruffi is European that he thinks that way.

I like fandango and all but when ever I hear him say shit like "textured" or "sonic" I realize that he knows about as much about music as I do.

>>68345978
scaruffi is the best out of those beatles cuck

If nothing else, I do largely agree with Christgau about prog, which I've never liked and IMO is just self-indulgent wankery that has nothing to do with rock-and-roll. Of course he makes the same assertion about metal which I don't agree with. To me, if it has a guitar and drums, it's rock-and-roll. Prog tries to be pseudo classical music with ridiculously overstuffed instrumentation.

>>68349023
The difference between rock-and-roll and rock is that the former is short, fast, and danceable while the latter isn't. I mean, you're not gonna play Pearl Jam at a party like you would Blink 182.

>>68349023
He does also like rockers with a sense of humor/comedic side. Metallica aren't really known for that.

>>68349179
IDK but I always supposed that Millenials have never been able to appreciate prog because it was a short-lived fad and has not survived into our lifetimes like metal.

Scaruffi > Christgau >>>> Pitchfork = Fantano

retards will disagree with this

>>68346906
Christgau you have to understand, most of his career took place before the Internet age where he had a rather limited supply of music to listen to, generally whatever was on major labels and the local NYC scene. This was true of most critics of his era.

>>68349285
Especially when it comes to the non-Anglo music world, he was almost completely in the dark about it. During the 70s-80s, some amazing stuff came out of Latin America, Europe, and Japan, but sadly there was no way for Americans to ever know about it short of traveling to those countries.

>>68346706
>early christgau

Don't agree. I mean, in his youth he was taking a huge, steaming shit on King Crimson and Black Sabbath which were both bands that revolutionized popular music.

>>68349282
this is correct, but the last 3 are fairly interchangable. Scaruffi is by far the best.

What about the guy behind the masterpiece review videos?

>>68349374
Just because they were influential doesn't mean that they weren't dogshit.

>>68346115
Objectively correct

I like Scaruffi for not joining in the Beatles circle jerk, but isn't it odd he doesn't give them credit for pushing music in the direction of a recorded studio product? Why doesn't he like the experimental tape tampering they did?

>>68346242
>>68346147
I don't follow reviewers or anything but if I'm trying to explore new music or get into an artist with an extensive catalogue, I'll check out some reviews to find a starting point. Reviews have their uses.

>>68349481
Go to bed, Bob.

Some of Christgau's reviews are quite hilarious (for example, his Eric Clapton ones). He's also generally pretty good at sniffing out "real" artists from manufactured ones created by a record label to jump on fads.

Foreigner [Atlantic, 1977]

You've heard of Beatlemania? I propose Xenophobia. C

Double Vision [Atlantic, 1978]

I love rock-and-roll so much that I find myself getting off on "Hot Blooded", a typical piece of nookie-hating cockrock based around a riff-verse-chord change that's (gah) second generation Bad Company. Other than that, there's nothing on here to threaten their status as the world's dullest band. C+

Head Games [Atlantic, 1979]

This isn't as sodden as you'd expect--these guys are pros and they adapt to the times by speeding up the music. I actually enjoy a few of these songs until I come into contact with the dumb woman haters doing the singing. I mean, these guys think punks are cynical and anti-life as they moan about how the world is all madness and lies and then proceed to rhyme "science" with "appliance" without intending a joke. C

has fantano written a book hmmmmm i think not

Wait, are you unironically listening to reviews instead of enjoying the music you like?

Wisconsin Death Trip [Warner Bros., 1999]

Horrorshow in stereo. they mean it, man. ("Wisconsin Death Trip", "I'm With Stupid") *

Have You Never Been Mellow [MCA, 1975]

After checking out the competition--I've given up on Helen Reddy, Anne Murray repeats herself, and Loretta Lynn's latest is a bummer--I began to entertain heathenish thoughts about this MOR nemesis, whose mid-Atlantic accent inspired Tammy Wynette to found a country music association designed to exclude her. At least this woman sounds sexy, says I to meself, but Carola soon set me straight. "A geisha," she scoffed. "She makes her voice smaller than it really is just to please men." At which point I put away my heathenish thoughts and finished the dishes. D+

Shinin' On [Capitol, 1974]

Now this is an American band--healthy, simple, confident, schlocky, with plenty of contradictions buried under the surface. Myself, I prefer the title cut which bursts forth with a resonance that--how shall I say it--they've never managed before (Mark Farner sounds a bit shaky on "Loco-Motion"). But how many bands get to record a ninth album, let alone make it their best? B+

A Fifth of Beethoven [Private Stock, 1977]

What a disappointment. Here I was expecting disco versions of "Claire de Lune", "Fur Elise", and six Brandenberg concertii, and what do I get but eight songs by W. Murphy? Beethoven made great schlock, transcendent schlock even, but you, Walter, you just make schlock. D+

Hi Infidelity [Epic, 1980]

I'm not saying they deserve the biggest seller of their crummy era. But however meaningless the results, they do know something about the hook and the readymade. My favorite is "Tough Guys," which will never go top forty because it features this Inspirational Verse: "They think they're full of fire/She thinks they're full of shit." B-

>>68349374
Christgau was always a joke with shit taste, I think the only reason people still talk about him is because teenagers mistake his incoherence for some kind of wit

Reunion Concert [Passport, 1984]

They were a vital team right up to Roots in 1968, but then they lost it, which was perhaps a cause of their estrangement, perhaps a result, or perhaps mere entropy. This 1983 gig was their first in ten years, and they sure didn't slough it off. But it's nostalgia anyway, adding nothing but a pushy drummer and a slight slackening of the voices to a superb body of work available in better record stores everywhere. B-

EB 84 [Mercury, 1984]

They're singing as good as ever, but not the same as ever--with the harmonies more luxurious and soulful, they can finally pass for grown men as they approach fifty. Unfortunately, maturity doesn't suit them any better than Dave Edmunds's lacquered, interpretation-enhancing production, because mature interpretation will never be their forte. They may sound like grown men and they may sound soulful, but that doesn't mean they sound like soulful grown men--a certain emotional complexity eludes them. Of all these hand-tailored comeback-special songs, only Paul Kennerly's "The First in Line" and Don's own "Asleep" are simple enough to fit. C+

>>68350187
Do I have autism or is it really hard to tell if he's being serious

Trout Mask Replica [Straight, 1969]

I want to like this album, but it's just too fucking weird. Pretty good music to listen to on a bad day, because you'll never feel as shitty as this record. B+

>>68350696
as much as I dislike Christgau I always really liked that review because he admits that he just doesn't get something and it's not necessarily that it's bad, it's just that it's not for him

that's pretty refreshing to me, given the number of reviewers who try to act like they're some kind of objective judge of quality instead of a normal person with opinions just like everyone else. (looking at you, meme-era Fantano)

Volunteers [RCA, 1969]

I've listened to this record over and over, but somehow I can't quite connect. Whenever Grace lilts "Up against the wall, motherfuckers!", a phrase I find a little overused at this point, I want to laugh out loud, and I don't find the instrumental cuts very inspired either. It's hardly a bad album of course and everyone seems to dig it a lot, but they could be wrong. B+

>>68350872
Later on, he did admit to a grudging respect for Black Sabbath and Kiss even though their music wasn't to his taste.

"L.A.'s atypically glam scene is where the hot American metal bands hail from these days, but that's a new development--of the six elder statesmen who volunteer their tarnished wisdom, only Alice Cooper got his start in the showbiz capital. Maybe that's why the old guys make so much more sense than the young ambition addicts whose mercifully truncated music is the film's ostenisble subject. More likely it's that they're successful enough to have turned into elder statesmen and smart enough to have succeeded. This movie bombed because it got panned in metal's word-of-mouth underground. Nonfans will learn a lot from it."

Sheik Yerbouti [Zappa, 1979]

If this be social satire, then how come its only targets are those individuals whose peculiar weirdness happens to diverge from that of the retentive gent at the control board? In that context, one must wonder if Frank's primo guitar solo on "Yo' Mama" is as arid spiritually as he is. As if there was any question after all these years. C+

the constant need of validation for the average /mu/ user is really sad desu! i never really understood the pitchfork worshiping either, cause it's been happening for a long time. i don't think people here realize the reputation they have. and i'm not talking now, like at least 5+ years ago

Crosby, Stills, and Nash [Atlantic, 1969]

Rated by request, I've written elsewhere that this album is perfect, but that is not necessarily a compliment. Only David Crosby's vocal on "Long Time Gone" saves it from a special castrati award. Pray for Neil Young. B+

Scaruffi is the best one
I bet he shit-talked your favorite album
Scaruffi and Christgau write way better than Fantano and Pitchfork

>>68349179
So what if prog has nothing to do with rock and roll, (not true by the way ) it's just musicians making music that interest them. If it's not to your taste that's perfectly fine, I just don't get why the musicians themselves are criticized for it.

Scaruffi >>> Early Christgau > Fantano > Late Christgau >>> Pitchfork

>>68350696
He gave an A to Shiny Beast.
Another proof Christgau is a contrarian.

Leftoverture [Kirshner, 1976]

Q: How do you tell American art-rockers from their European forebears? A: They sound dumber, they don't play as fast, and their fatalism lacks conviction. The question of humor remains open: Impressed as I am with titles like "Father Padilla Meets the Perfect Gnat" and Leftoverture itself, I find no parallels in the music. D+

Christgau's judgement on Foo Fighters was 100% correct: The Color and the Shape was their one true masterwork and everything after that was just commercial stadium rock.

>>68350651
>EB 84 [Mercury, 1984]
>They're singing as good as ever, but not the same as ever--with the harmonies more luxurious and soulful, they can finally pass for grown men as they approach fifty. Unfortunately, maturity doesn't suit them any better than Dave Edmunds's lacquered, interpretation-enhancing production, because mature interpretation will never be their forte. They may sound like grown men and they may sound soulful, but that doesn't mean they sound like soulful grown men--a certain emotional complexity eludes them. Of all these hand-tailored comeback-special songs, only Paul Kennerly's "The First in Line" and Don's own "Asleep" are simple enough to fit. C+

Yeah it's just like how RHCP and Metallica in their 50s still can't sound like anything but manchildren.

Greatest Hits [Chess, 1975]

Freddie King's renown as the inventor of electric blues guitar is a reward for his shameless Anglophilia, here documented on "Palace of the King". Forget what Anglophiles claim of his recent work--the man's been coasting for years. The R&B sides he cut in the '60s for (of all things) King Records are acute. Here he makes do with a bunch of Leon Russell and Don Nix boogies, the vocals blurred, the guitar all fake-and-roll. C+

Share the Land [RCA Victor, 1970]

Somebody asked the band how they knew the Indian on the cover and they answered central casting. That must also be where they found guitarist Kurt Winter and Greg Leskiw, both of whom play ringing heavy clichés in all the proper places. Randy Bachman's clichés were altogether subtler. C+

The Best of the Guess Who [RCA Victor, 1971]

What do people gain by resisting all this popcraft? Is AM acceptance so tainted that these proven riffs and melodies shrivel the soul on contact? Or does the way Burton Cummings shifts from rock to swing or croon to growl without any show of strain or even technique just make him "slick," as they say? Granted, when I hear all the singles together like this I notice that since the romantic loss recorded in "These Eyes" Cummings has become unnecessarily spiteful. But songs that put down women and people who work for a living have never bothered AM haters before. B+

Flavours [RCA Victor, 1974]

The Burton Cummings part of this group always wanted it to be the Doors, Santana, and Gary Puckett and the Union Gap all rolled into one. This rather monstrous goal has finally been realized. Personally, I always preferred the part that wanted to be Bachman-Turner Overdrive. C

>>68346115
/thread

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About time /mu/ stopped letting self important critics with superiority complexes tell them what music is and isn't good.

Time for /mu/ to take a big step forward and decide individually what good music is.

I'll be over here listening to some chap hop and hellgaze breakcore if anyone wants to join me.

Lou Reed Live: Take No Prisoners [Arista, 1978]

Partly because your humble servant is attacked by name (along with John Rockwell) on what is essentially a comedy record, a few colleagues have rushed in with Don Rickles analogies, but that's not fair. Lenny Bruce is the obvious influence. Me, I don't play my greatest comedy albums, not even the real Lenny Bruce ones, as much as I do Rock n Roll Animal. I've heard Lou do two very different concerts during his Arista period that I'd love to check out again--Palladium November '76 and Bottom Line May '77. I'm sorry this isn't either. And I thank Lou for pronouncing my name right. C+

>I give this album scissors/10

Christgau is completely irrelevant nowadays and has shit taste, but I give him credit for being good at tearing apart an album he dislike in 3 sentences

pitchfork is a joke and I don't follow fantano or scaruffi

Pornography [A&M, 1982]

"In books/And films/And in life/And in heaven/The sound of slaughter/As your body turns . . ."--no, I can't go on. I mean, why so glum, chum? Cheer up; look on the bright side. You got your contract, right? And your synthesizers, bet you'll have fun with them. Believe me, kid, it will pass. C

It's Hard [Warner Bros., 1982]

For years, Pete Townshend's operatic pretensions were so transparent that I wagered his musical ideas would never catch up to his lyrical ones. And I was right--both became more prolix at the same rate. Between the synths, book club poetry, and winding song structures, this may be the nearest thing to classic awful English art rock since Genesis discovered funk. Best track--"Eminence Front", in which Pete Townshend discovers funk. Just in time. Bye. C

Backless [RSO, 1978]

Whatever Eric Clapton isn't anymore--guitar genius, auteur, secret humanitarian, God--he's still king of the Tulsa sound and here he contributes three new sleepytime classics. All are listed on the front sticker and none were written by Bob Dylan. One more and this would be creditable. B-

The Beach Boys [CBS, 1985]

Would you get excited if the Four Lads released a comeback album with Boy George and Stevie Wonder songs on it? Bet they still harmonize pretty good, too. C

>>68351743
>>68351899
top kek

Behind the Sun [Duck, 1985]

Eric was never the nonsinger he was wont to declare himself in retiring moments, but his vocal gift only made sense when laidback was commercial. On this album he isn't retiring--he's looking for work. So he resorts to none other than Phil Collins, once his Brit-rock opposite but now just a fellow "survivor" (and how). For several reasons, including market fashion, Collins mixes the drums very high. This induces Eric to, um, project in accordance with market fashion. Sad. And also bad. C-

Scaruffi>Pitchfork>Fantano>Christgay

>>68351711
>Christgau is completely irrelevant nowadays
He's in his 70s and mostly retired now.

Reign in Blood [Def Jam, 1986]

I'm not about to check out the complete works of Venom to see if you can't do better, but anyone wondering what gets Washington ladies up these days is invited to beg, borrow, buy, or steal this piece of, quote, speed Satanism, un quote. Rick Rubin focused, CBS passed, guitar's quicker than a Theremin on reverb. And to top it off, "Jesus Saves" mauls the enemy, which as we all know isn't Jesus, or Satan for that matter. B+

The Joshua Tree [Island, 1987]

Let it build and ebb and wash and thunder in the background and you'll hear something special--mournful and passionate, stately and involved. Read the lyrics and you won't wince. Tune in Bono's vocals and you'll encounter one of the worst cases of significance ever to afflict a deserving candidate for superstardom. B

>>68352485
I'm still stunned he'd give a metal album a B+

Definitely Maybe [Creation, 1994]

Sixties, schmixties. Back when they were a tribute band, they were the Diamond Dogs. ("Supersonic", "Slide Away") **

Dirt [Columbia, 1992]

Crunch, crunch, crunch, riff, riff, riff. Way harder, louder, and more metallic than Soundgarden will ever be. The price of all this power is that it's also stupider--the sound of hopeless craving. This is a junkie album, take it or leave it. "Junkhead" isn't fictional and probably isn't ironic either. As I sit here looking at my books and degrees (well, degree), I somehow doubt that if I, err, opened my mind as resident sickman Layne Staley suggests that I'd be doing as "well" as him. I'll wait for my own man, thank you very much. B-

Henry's Dream [Mute, 1992]

Nick Cave's admirers crow about his literary virtues--a rock musician who's written a novel and (gasp) even scripted a movie. If your idea of literary greatness are such brilliant lines as "I am the captain of my pain" and a scene where he describes a hotel room with a whalebone corset in it (whalebone is very literary, you see, it hasn't been used in underwear since well before Nick was born), then you may be ripe for his cult. Otherwise, forget it. The voice alone won't do the trick. C-

>>68352751
I guess RIB was so ridiculous and over the top that he couldn't help but smile.

>>68353024
I'm forever near my stereo saying "What the fuck is this!?" and the answer is always RHCP.

Core [Atlantic, 1993]

Once you learn to tell them from the Stoned Tempo Pirates, the Stolen Pesto Pinenuts, the Gray-Templed Prelates, Temple of the Dog, Pearl Jam, and Wishbone Ash, you may decide they're a halfway decent hard rock act. Unfortunately, sometime after they've set you up with their best power chords, you figure out the title is "Sex Type Thing" because it's attached to a rape threat. They claim this was intended as a critique, kind of like "Naked Sunday"'s sarcastic handshake with authority. But at best that means they should reconceive their aesthetic strategy--critiquewise, irony has no teeth when the will to sexual power still powers your power chords. And if it's merely the excuse MTV fans have reason to suspect, the whole band should catch AIDS and die. B-

>>68350919
Decline of Western Civilization: The Metal Years

The veterans they interview in there include Ozzy, Steven Tyler, Alice Cooper, Paul Stanley, and Lemmy along with some young newcomers like Vixen and W.A.S.P.

I guess his point was that the old guys from the 70s were just trying to make fun, interesting music while the younger ones wanted to be rock stars and get tons of girls.

>>68347513
This

Christgau has pedestrian taste but he's clear about what he likes and prioritizes and he's an excellent writer

>>68353836
He states right there on his website that he "does not like heavy metal, prog, bluegrass, gospel, and jazz-fusion".

Based on personal taste

Fantano >> Scaruffi > Christgau > Feministfork

>>68345978

Scaruffi > old Pitchfork > old Fantano > old Christgau > current Fantano > current Pitchfork > current Christgau

My dragon dildo a arrives tomorrow I'm pretty excited

>>68346268
>still thinking there's anything wrong with poptimism

while that's obviously wrong you fedora, what's even falser is the notion that he dislikes albums that are ambitious. Xgau gave an A to: MBDTF; M.I.A.'s Kala, Maya, and this year's AIM; Chance's Coloring Book; VW's Contra and MVOTC; Nostalgia, Ultra; Shaking the Habitual; Beyonce's eponymous 2013 record; Burial's Rival Dealer; Art Angels; To Pimp a Butterfly. Like them or not, to imply that any of the previous aren't ambitious in either scope, sound, or concept is legitimately daft. To boot, that tiny list barely covers the gamut of "ambitious" A and A- records he's rated since "we" were in grade school. Stay pleb fuccboi.
to a lesser extent for you too: >>68348056

>>68346906
Although i disagree with the rest of what you said (he's the best living music critic imo), that boils down to opinion (and taste as you said) so whatever. What i will say is that his vast knowledge of African music is pretty interesting and worth checking out.

>>68347029
i really don't thing xgau ever consciously considers whether something will alienate his readers or not. if you read more about him, his own long form essays, and some interviews, he's a good example of not giving a shit. Just like Fantano and Scruffi, he sticks to what he genuinely likes. The only bandwaggoning hypers are p4k.

>>68347619
>Someone that acknowledges the pretention in avant music and places priority on something earnestly enjoyable but still occasionally praises the good in avant/experimentalism
You just described xgau. Rummage through his deans list and his consumer guide for a week and you'll dig up some interesting stuff. It's time consuming work, but well worth it.

>>68348610
>>68351711
I dare you to read his dean's lists between 2010-15 and say with a straight face that his tastes are irrelevant.

If anything, Christgau at least gets some cred, despite some retarded opinions, for having been one of the original 60s rock journalists and also being old enough to have been there at the birth of rock-and-roll in the 50s. He's seen the entire rise and fall of rock in his lifetime which is quite incredible to contemplate. He was there when Rock Around The Clock dropped and in his old age has seen rock fade out as a mainstream, commercial genre.

Scaruffi is just some pedophile who likes opera and classical music and started a website one day to bitch about how rock and rap could never reach the level of Wagner.

>>68353872
If that were me, my personal dislikes are prog, country, and in the general sense, syrupy love ballads without a good beat to them. I don't know enough about jazz fusion to like or hate it.

>>68354518
>i really don't thing xgau ever consciously considers whether something will alienate his readers or not. if you read more about him, his own long form essays, and some interviews, he's a good example of not giving a shit. Just like Fantano and Scruffi, he sticks to what he genuinely likes. The only bandwaggoning hypers are p4k.

He admitted to giving "Crosby, Stills, and Nash" a B+ out of peer pressure. Although in his defense, that was very early in his career when he maybe hadn't gotten things down pat yet.

Lester Bangs was a better critic than Christgau, unfortunately taken from us way too soon so we never got to see how he'd react to more modern bands and artists.

>>68354710
>Lester Bangs
Fuck off, commie scum.

>>68354637
He gets points just for sheer stubbornness and wanting to keep going when many of his peers were giving up on new music before the 70s was out, even though he admitted that from a generational perspective, he identified with Bob Dylan and Jerry Garcia more than he did the Sex Pistols.

>>68354637
i'm dreading the day xgau dies desu

Thousand Roads [Atlantic, 1993]

David Crosby lends new meaning to the term "survivor", meaning "If you can't kill the motherfucker, at least make sure he doesn't breed", and until VH-1 got on the revolting "Heroes" video, I'd hoped never to sample this piece of makework for his rich, underemployed friends. Oh, well. C-

>>68354696
there's the factor of his early stage in his career, and also the fact that that's another example of him not taking himself seriously at all, on instance of him giving into hype and admitting in writing he gave a score out of peer pressure.

Anyway, i'm of the unpopular opinion that the xgau golden age started in the 90s when he revamped his grading system. I think the honorable mentions, the neithers, the duds, and the choice cuts (scissors) give so much more nuance to his metric, while simultaneously maintaining self awareness and a sense of humor in the ridiculousness that is grading art in the first place. In the 90s his consumer guide really became the epitome of what a contemporary music consumer guide ought to be.

>>68354769
The Grateful Dead are ok even though they possibly had the worst fanbase of any band in history.

>>68354935
I never saw it that way. I just always assumed as he got older, he got lazier and adopted the bomb/scissors system to avoid getting out of actually writing a review of the album.

>>68354974
You may be right, but he was always lazy like that even in the 70s. When he didn't like something, he'd write a two sentence insult and call it a day.

He also had his "Meltdown" lists which were basically just artists he considered so shitty he couldn't waste his precious time reviewing them.

>>68355007
>He also had his "Meltdown" lists which were basically just artists he considered so shitty he couldn't waste his precious time reviewing them

AFAIK Christgau spent most of the 80s reviewing and writing about underground/alternative artists. I mean, come on. Why would you waste your time reviewing every insignificant one-hit wonder hair metal band when there were actual good artists making innovative music back then. There's absolutely nothing interesting about Night Ranger or Ratt and reviewing them would have been completely pointless and stupid.

>>68355089
He did review most of the bigger hair metal acts at least once (Whitesnake, Poison, Warrant, etc). Night Ranger and Ratt he didn't review at all.

>>68355089
Personally I think it's more sad that the first thing people think of when 80s music is mentioned is Twisted Sister and Poison, not The Cure, The Pixies, Sonic Youth, etc.

>>68355089
>>68352485
>>68353049
This always struck me as odd that he never reviewed Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, later career Sabbath, and just put them in his shitbucket list, but he did review at least one album each from the Big Four thrash bands.

I mean, yeah, he doesn't like metal but IDG what somehow made Slayer more palatable to him than Maiden.

>>68345978
Taste:
Fantano > Pitchfork > Scaruffi > Christgau

Competence:
that but backwards

Charismatic?

>>68355185
My guess is that he preferred the B4 thrash bands because they were faster and more punk-influenced than the baroque NWOBM stuff. I mean, he never really "liked" them, but I guess he preferred Megadeth's tunes about nuclear war and the PMRC to Maiden's medievalism.

>>68355139
The 80s unfortunately was an era when shitty music ended up being more loud and vocal than most decades.

>>68355089
He reviewed four 70s Kiss albums (Dressed To Kill, Alive, Destroyer, and Rock and Roll Over) but he just put them in his 80s Meltdown list.

>>68355313
Wouldn't be surprised. 80s Kiss had some good songs but they'd just become totally generic hair metal that innovated nothing and were utterly indistinguishable from a dozen other such bands.

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>>68346033
>le p4k isn't sjw meme

thank you for correcting the record

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>SJW social agenda

Pitchfork recognizes that black artists are generally producing better, more relevant work than white artists. They realize that rockism has blinded critics of music made by women and non-whites. And in a world where Solange is outselling Bon Iver, p4k is hardly being radical.

This isn't even exclusive to p4k; the only one on that chart who would disagree with this is Christgau.

>>68355515
Christgau said that when he first started, a lot of rock journalists had a latent racism to them and mostly ignored black music other than bluesmen, Chuck Berry, and Jimi Hendrix.

>>68355728
This has been discussed before but I think there's something in black music that fails to resonate with whites for whatever reason.

>>68351642
Underrated and overshadowed

>>68355515
>They realize that rockism has blinded critics of music made by women and non-whites
It takes that extra leap to appreciate music other than what's aimed at your particular demographic which is why /mu/ being 90% white males is rockist as fuck and knows almost nothing of soul/funk/non-meme rappers.

i luv u ant thony best meme reviewer

>hates artroc
>says artpop is one of the best albums of the year

>>68351642
We needed a self-important anon to tell us what to do. Thank you for stepping up!

Real to Reel [Epic, 1978]

Given the fluttering keyboards, weedy vocals, and fantasy-fiction medievalism favored by these Midwestern up-and-comers, you'd figure this was just round four of dips to disc, but it's worse than that. That title means something; in the great tradition of heartland eclecticism (or is it rootlessness?) (not exploitation, surely?) they're adding power-rock and pop-melody moves to the art-rock casserole. With hooks, yet. Lord save us. C

This Was [Reprise, 1969]

Ringleader Ian Anderson has come up with a unique concept that combines the worst of Roland Kirk, Arthur Brown, and your nearest G.O. blues band. I find his success very depressing. C-

Stand Up [Reprise, 1969]

People who like the group think this is a great album. I don't like the group. I think it is an adequate album. B-

Benefit [Reprise, 1970]

Ian Anderson is one of those people who attracts admirers by means of a principled arrogance that has no relation to his actual talents or accomplishments. He does have one undeniable gift, though--he knows how to deploy riffs. Nearly every track on this album is constructed around a good one, sometimes two; play it twice and you'll have the thing memorized. But I defy you to recall any lyrics. For all his e-nun-ci-a-tion and attention to wordcraft, Anderson can't or won't create the impression that he really cares about love/friendship/privacy, which I take to be his chief theme--the verbiage isn't obscure, but he really does make it hard to concentrate. I'm sure I hear one satirical exegesis on the generation gap, though. B-

Aqualung [Reprise, 1971]

Ian Anderson is like the town free thinker. As long as you're stuck in the same town yourself, his inchoate cultural interests and skeptical views on religion and human behavior are refreshing, but meet up with him in the city and he can turn out to be a real bore. Of course, he can also turn out to be Bob Dylan--it all depends on whether he rejected provincial values out of a thirst for more or out of a reflexive (maybe even somatic) negativism. And on whether he was pretentious only because he didn't know any better. C+

Thick as a Brick [Reprise, 1972]

Ian Anderson is the type of guy who'll tell you on one album that a whole side is one theme and then tell you on the next that the whole album is one song. The usual shit--rock (getting heavier), folk (getting feyer), classical (getting schlockier), flute (getting better because it has no choice), words. C-

>>68346029
according to that list it's more
christgau>fantano>pitchfork>scaruffi

Grand Funk [Capitol, 1969]

This group is getting attention apparently because they play faster than Iron Butterfly. That's a start in the right direction, I suppose. Me, I saw them in Detroit before I knew any of this. I found myself enjoying them for 5 minutes, tolerating them for 15, and hating them for 45. This LP, their second, isn't as good as that performance. C-

E Pluribus Funk [Capitol, 1971]

The usual competent loud rock with the usual paucity of drive and detail. I admit, I actually find myself touched by "People, Let's Stop The War". But it doesn't tell me anything I don't already know. C+

>>68345978
I swear to god, Christgau's been shilling himself nonstop for the past 6 months.

Kool & The Gang [Subjects for Further Research, 1970s]

Amelodic hitmakers, jazzbos who couldn't improvise, these primal funksters were too funking primal for me in the early '70s, their artistic heyday. Looking back at their various best-of compilations, I can see now that it was arcane rhythms and silly novelty hooks that got them onto (black) radio. Having said that, the dance floor is the best place to figure such music out, and although I like individual cuts, "Jungle Boogie" and "Hollywood Swinging" especially, I'm unlikely to make much sense of it unless a DJ sweeps me off my feet.

>>68346906
Diverse and exotic taste doesn't equal good taste.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers [EMI, 1984]

As minstrelsy goes, this is as good-natured as it gets (and minstrelsy it had better be). The reason why it doesn't quite come off as good-hearted can be seen in this mysterious observation from spokesperson Flea. "Grandmaster Flash and Kurtis Blow have great raps, but not the great music to go along with them." In a bassist, that's serious delusion. B-

Mother's Milk [EMI, 1989]

Punks who loved Hendrix and P-Funk, they've decided to cash in on their excellent tastes. Problem is, they didn't have the chops to pull it off before, and now that they've pushed the guitar up front, they sound even cruder. But I'm sure they're nice guys--even mention "compassion" in the first verse of the first song. C+

>>68356553
i was about to ask if the xgau resurgence on /mu/ is due to him finally landing a spot in a millennial music mag, noisey.

Blood Sugar Sex Magik [Warner Bros., 1991]

they've grown up, they've learned to write, they've earned the right to be sex mystiks ("Give It Away", "Breaking The Girl") **

One Hot Minute [Warner Bros., 1995] *bomb*

Californication [Warner Bros., 1999]

New Age fuck fiends ("Scar Tissue", "Purple Stain") *

By The Way [Warner Bros., 2001]

How desperate rock scribes are for remaining bands of any commercial clout that this release was greeted with Hosannas in a slow news month. This piece of let's-slow-things-down-a-little isn't too bad unless you were expecting thee funk, but it's certainly a tune or two slacker than Californication. The problem is that it's not enough to just slow down and get all mature, you also have to say something about maturity. And unless I'm mistaken, Anthony Kiedis has never had one thing to say about anything else. B-

>>68356705
>i was about to ask if the xgau resurgence on /mu/ is due to him finally landing a spot in a millennial music mag, noisey

So he's basically the Bernie Sanders of music journalism--an old as Methuselah fuck that hipster Millenials attached some kind of perverse hipster cred to.

Anthony's way smarter than that and literally has great taste. Your just jealous you dickface

Stadium Arcadium [Warner Bros., 2006]

Only the familiar tale of their Grammy validation renders the familiar tale of their double album that shoulda been a single mildly interesting. Once a bassist's band, now a guitarist's band, they're most of all an '80s band, their spiritual core, such as it is, is rooted in the agony and ecstasy of heroin and cocaine. At least when the bassist ruled they livened up this overworked dynamic with beats. Now they tax it with tunes, at least when they're on their game--as in the dead-end relationship song "Desecration Smile" and the marriage proposal "Hard to Concentrate." B-

>>68356705
He got canned from the Village Voice in 2006 when the magazine was sold and its new owners completely purged the entire staff.

>>68356756
millennials didn't attach some perverse hipster cred to the man; his resume speaks for itself. name me one music critic who's listened and reviewed as many records as him?

>>68356881
yes i know that. then he had stints at MSN Music, Barnes & Noble, and a rough year or two on Medium. What i was getting that is that he's finally publishing in an outlet that's read by the millennial cohort, exposure he hasn't gotten arguably since the 90s. I mean, I'm pretty sure young people stopped reading village voice once the internet boomed and so many sites like p4k started sprouting. So he'd been writing throughout the aughts and until 2015 at pretty dadcore places.

>>68345978
Quick somebody, post it to reddit so that it will be ingrained forever

>>68357330
>>68356881
The VV had been in decline since the 80s actually when it was purchased by Rupert Murdoch, although it changed hands at least once more prior to 2006. It was one of those artifacts of the beatnik/hippie generations that couldn't survive the changing times.

>>68357330
>What i was getting that is that he's finally publishing in an outlet that's read by the millennial cohort

Better anyway than writing for some rag like Rolling Stone Magazine that nobody under 45 reads, although their musical tastes aren't that far removed from Christgau's anyway. (pop star/meme rapper/dadrock artists)

>>68354769
There was one late 80s column where he said a lot of the graybeards his age weren't interested in reviewing anything but the latest McCartney or Dylan album or whatever. They didn't have any interest in The Cure or U2 or anything else going down at that time.

>>68357604
That was Kiss Me era Cure, right?

>>68357489
i was implying it's a good thing. and besides, all of the other main ones (p4k, stereogum, tinymixtapes, quietus, etc.) are based on the consensus of their group of staff writers and contributors' hundreds of reviews. xgau would be unfit for any of them because of the way he operates-- him and his grades and lists are purposely a one man show. so noisey was really the best choice.

>>68346021
wow, a big meme here

>>68345978
>all of it's offshoots
>all of it's forms

>[Scaruffi] writes like a middle schooler

>>68357489
>meme rapper
Hear this term used a ton, still have no idea what it means.

>>68345978
>Fantano
>Charismatic
Is this true?

>>68357980
Meme rapper=any mainstream buttrap like Kanye, Feminem, or Drake

>>68351711
What's this from?

Christgau has a habit of giving undeserved Bs and As to crappy artists that happen to come from NYC.

His pet band the New York Dolls...well, they're not terrible, but they also aren't as unbelievably, incredibly awesome and glorious as he claims. For one thing, the Dolls started the entire rockers-wearing-makeup trend that in 15 years became a horrifying blight on popular music.

He also gave As to Cyndi Lauper, and...protip. She was a one album wonder for a reason.

>>68355224
kek. Pretty much, if by "competence" you're talking about the quality of their writing

RYM+Scaruffi= BFF

>>68355185
Because thrash is more like punk and therefore more palatable

>>68345978
is scaruffi a pedophile?

>>68358056
>For one thing, the Dolls started the entire rockers-wearing-makeup trend that in 15 years became a horrifying blight on popular music

Are we now going to blame Nirvana for Puddle of Mudd?

Keep posting amusing Christgau reviews.
Can't say my taste meshes well with his, but they're fun to read.

>>68358143
No, we blame Pearl Jam

Though I still find hair metal to have been a far more obnoxious thing than post-grunge.

Piano Man [Columbia, 1973]

Joel's debut album "Cold Spring Harbor" was recorded in the vicinity of 35 rpm to fit on all the material. Like an eternal teenager, he just doesn't know how to shut up. Stubborn little bastard too--after his bid stiffed, he worked a Los Angeles cocktail lounge soaking up Experience. Here, he poses as the Irving Berlin of narcissistic alienation, puffing up and appealing to the condescending fantasies of fans who spend their entire lives in front of the stereo feeling sensitive. And just to show them who's boss, he hits them with a ballad in the manner of Aaron Copland. C-

Sweet Baby James [Warner Bros., 1970]

I have solved the Taylor Perplex, which seems to revolve around whether James was a verier godsend when he was gracing Macdougal Street with the Flying Machine, discovering the Beatles on Apple, or now. My answer: none of the above. Which leaves an even more perplexing question: which god is supposed to have sent him? Not the one in Rock and Roll Heaven, that's for sure. B-

Mud Slide Slim and the Blue Horizon [Warner Bros., 1971]

If even his admirers acknowledge that his music has lost some of its drive (_lost some of its drive?_), then even a sworn enemy can admit that he's capable of interesting songs and intricate music. Having squandered most of the songs on his big success, he's concentrating on the intricate music--the lyrics are more onanistic than ever, escapist as a matter of conscious thematic decision. From what? you well may wonder. From success, poor fella. Blues singers lived on the road out of economic necessity, although they often got into it; Taylor is an addict, pure and simple. A born-rich nouveau star who veers between a "homestead on the farm" (what does he raise there, hopes?) and the Holiday Inn his mean old existential dilemma compels him to call home deserves the conniving, self-pitying voice that is his curse. Interesting, intricate, unlistenable. C+

Whitesnake [Geffen, 1987]

The attraction of this veteran pop metal act has got to be total predictability--the glistening solos, the surging crescendos, the macho love rhymes, the tunes you can hum before the verse is over--each one new, yet somehow heard before. Who cares if they're an obscure nine year old vehicle for the guy who fronted Deep Purple five years before that? Rock-and-roll's ninth or tenth "generation" of frightened high school boys can claim them as their own. May they pass from the ether before the current crop of 11 year olds sprouting pubes claim their MTV. D+

Slip of the Tongue [Geffen, 1989]

They got lucky and they don't intend to let go. With hired hand Steve Vai handling all guitars and god knows what other assorted geegaws, they've consolidated the essence of all arena--pomp, flash, tough guy sentimentality. This is now the worst band in the world. So you just move over, Journey. (hey? where is Journey anyway?) D

>>68347454
yup

Crime of the Century [A&M, 1974]

This is being called the rock-and-roll of the future, which depresses me even though the amalgamation is a moderately smart one. "Bloody Well Right" does demonstrate a gift for the killer hook, provided we can ignore the song's being an impassioned plea for complacency. Maybe if we ignore them, they'll go away. C

Breakfast in America [A&M, 1979]

I like a hooky album as much as the next guy, so I enjoyed this one at first, but the lyrics turned out to be glib variations on the usual "Star Romances" trash, and in the absence of a vocal personality or rhythmic drive (as opposed to a beat), I'll wait for this material to be covered by artists of emotional substance, say Tavares or the Doobie Brothers. C

The Runaways [Mercury, 1976]

Don't let misguided feminism, critical convolutions, or the fact that good punk transcends ordinary notions of musicality tempt you. This is Kim Fowley's project, which means that it is tuneless and wooden as well as exploitative. How anyone can hang around El Lay so long without stealing a hook or two defies understanding. Maybe it's just perversity--which would make it the only genuinely perverse thing about the man. C-

Queens of Noise [Mercury, 1977]

I'll tell you what kind of street rock and roll these bimbos make--when the title cut came on I thought I was hearing Evita twice in a row. Only I couldn't figure out why the singer wasn't in tune. C

Waitin' for the Night [Mercury, 1977]

This band surprised me live, nowhere near as willing to pander sexually as its publicity suggests, and Kim Fowley contributes his first decent tune since "Alley Oop" to the new album. I guess if somebody has to strike macho guitar poses I'd just as soon it were girls. But Joan Jett's inability to bellow through the wall of noise (she shrieks flatly instead) suggests that there are perhaps more generous musical models, for human beings of all sexes, than Aerosmith. C+

The Best of the Runaways [Mercury, 1982]

Ignore the sticker--if Kim Fowley had known how to make a Joan Jett album, he would have done the deed in 1976. C+

>>68358488
>Maybe it's just perversity--which would make it the only genuinely perverse thing about the man

If only he'd known back in the 70s just how perverted Kim Fowley truly was. Oh well, Fowley is dead now and he's in Hell.

Led Zeppelin II [Atlantic, 1969]

The best of the wah-wah mannerist groups--so dirty, they drool on demand. It's true that all the songs sound the same, but nobody ever held that against Little Richard. But then, Robert Plant isn't Little Richard. B

I Get Wet [Island, 2001]

The music is as simple as it is hard--the Ramones for an era when "Blitzkrieg Bop" plays on the P.A. system at Shea and professional wrestlers are all on steroids. Beware, this is also a Gary Glitter/Kiss/Quiet Riot album, meaning there is no expression, tempo shifts, or concessions to human fallibility. If all the songs were the same, it would be perfect, but they aren't and it isn't. A-

The Wolf [Island, 2005]

Average song length on "I Get Wet"? 3:30. Average song length on "The Wolf"? 3:45. Either his frat boy fans or the steroids are going to his head. C+

Funkadelic [Westbound, 1970]

Q (side one, cut one): "Mommy, What's a Funkadelic?" A: Someone from Carolina who encountered eternity on LSD and vowed to contain it in a groove. Q (side two, cut four): "What Is Soul?" A: A ham hock in your corn flakes. You get high marks for your questions, guys. C+

America Eats Its Young [Westbound, 1972]

Their racial hostility is much preferable to the brotherhood bromides of that other Detroit label, but their taste in white people is suspect: it's one thing to put down those who "picket this and protest that" from their "semi-first-class seat," another to let the Process Church of the Final Judgment provide liner notes on two successive albums. I overlooked it on Maggot Brain because the music was so difficult to resist, but here the strings (told you about their taste in white people), long-windedness (another double-LP that should be a single), and programmatic lyrics ("Miss Lucifer's Love" inspires me to mention that while satanism is a great antinomian metaphor it often leads to murder, rape, etc.) leave me free to exercise my prejudices. Primary exception: "Biological Speculation," a cautionary parable about the laws of nature/the jungle. Secondary exception: "Loose Booty." Remember what Hank Ballard says, you guys: how you gonna get respect if you haven't cut your process yet? C+

>>68346216
it isn't a meme if it's true. Fantano couldn't articulate a unique thought if his life depended on it. Some Fantano-lover once told me they liked him because of the "insight" he provided, but failed to point to a single time that Fantano said something "insightful" about the fucking music he reviews. He has a word bank for certain genres, and he just mad-gabs that shit together, or at least that's how his reviews come across.

That said, all music reviewers are shit.

The Singles 1969-1973 [A&M, 1973]

The combination of Karen Carpenter's ductile, dispassionate contralto and Richard Carpenter's meticulous studio technique is admittedly more musical than the clatter of voices and silverware in a cafeteria, but it's just as impervious to criticism. That is, the duo's success is essentially statistical: I'll tell you that I very much like "We've Only Just Begun" and detest "Sing," but those aren't so much aesthetic judgments as points on a graph. C+

>>68349085
good fucking lord, McCartney really is just perfect. this picture made me gay(er for him).

Albert King [Subjects For Further Research, 1970s]

I've never been moved by Albert King's wide-beamed take on BB's blues, although I suspect that's not entirely Albert's fault. It is however generally agreed that the man cut his best stuff for Stax in the '60s--he spent most of the '70s trying to go pop with predictable results. For an eloquent defense, see the liner notes in "Live at Montreaux Festival".

On Avery Island [Merge, 1996] :(

In The Aeroplane Over The Sea [Merge, 1998] :(

>>68358966
kek
Maybe he was actually profoundly affected by the albums, to a point where he couldn't articulate his feelings so just put a sad face to show his understanding of Mangum's own turmoil