Would you a Sphinx?

>>30907218
WOULD I?

>swn sit on you

>>30907218
No, not really.
1000 year old unwashed vagina.
I'm fine I rather not throw up.

>>30908446
>unwashed
it's a fucking cat, Anon

>>30908457
Tongue doesn't count have you seen cats that live on streets, they look as if they crawled through a sewer.
Just because she can clean the outside doesn't mean it's clean in the inside.

>>30908478
I don't think you understand how vaginas work, Anon

Looks like some autist made another thread after we all agreed not too. Someone pick up that phone because I fucking called it

>>30908491
Anon then tell me how a vagina works then since you apparently you know the ins and outs of a vagina.

>>30908511
He's googling it right now

>>30908511
So, for one, the inside of a vagina doesn't get 'dirty' and need washing unless you put something in it, Anon
There are females out there that died at the age of 60 with their hymen intact

Secondly, it's a sapient creature
If she's sick or gets filth her tongue can't handle, she'll take a bath or whatever and/or find medicine

Thirdly, she has a fucking temple and had offerings and shit, she could've asked to have a personal pony cleaner as a slave or some shit
She's not some alley cat that's missing an eye and fight other cats every two nights

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>>30907218
Would I!

>>30908561
I bet he did.
>>30908577
Anon
I don't know what to tell you, I really don't and I don't mean it in a dick way but Jesus anon.
Also answer this >>30908561

>>30908577
Not that anon, but this whole statement is just pure kek

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>>30908600
>I don't know what to tell you
I can see that

>>30908610
Not really an argument

>>30908619
Not arguing it. I just think it sounds pretentious as hell, and that's funny

>>30908619
Because apparently they know how a vagina worked back then.
Anon have you ever heard of yeast infection.
It occurs because of stress
Also sweat plays into fungus that can grow and cause a disgusting smell.

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>>30907218
>abrasive tongue
>razor sharp teeth
>she'll end up using you like a floppy dildo
>will let you put your member in her and jizz indise her even if she can't feel it when she's bored

Egyptian women used to block their cervixes with crocodile dung to prevent pregnancy.

Just sayin'

>>30907218
i fucking would

>>30908696
>back then
Well she still had magic
>yeast infection
So, an infection
That she could cure using medicine
Or even her fucking magic

So, what you should've said there >>30908446 is 'I'm gay and I don't want to see any vaginas because they can get infected or they could be sick'

>>30908719
This is Sphinx, not Somnambula

>>30908747
Damn anon. Maybe he's saving himself for marriage?

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>>30908776
Fuck off octavarius

>>30908747
Yes medicine because medicine was 100 percent on point back then it always worked no matter what.
Oh what's that magic well since these creatures used magic for everything I know they have a spell that can make their vaginas smell better and cleaner, how you ask I don't fucking know but all I know is that they used magic.
I like how you think I'm gay for not liking unwashed and uncleaned vagina totally makes me gay.

>>30908786
The farts guy?

>>30908798
No, he's the 'I hate greentexts, and I hate anon and I hate content and they should be banned' guy

>>30908807
We're talking emperor octavarius right? Because if so he is also a fart fetishr

>>30908797
>'Fuck me Anon!'
"No way, you might be sick or maybe your vagina might be dirty, ewwww!"
>>>/hhh/

>>30908807
It's funny I've actually grown annoyed with a lot of that content now too. Everything is just so...bland

>>30908824
Girls clean themselves now anon back then not so much.

>>30908819
Nah, those were falseflaggers
I mean, he might be, it wouldn't be too far fetched, but there's been several waves or people spamming retarded shit using his name over the years
He's kinda known, many have filtered him, even

>>30908830
And that's fine, just go check fimfic or whatever instead
But there's a difference between not enjoying shit and just spamming your opinion again and again

>>30908836
It's easy to shitpost as him since he only namefags, but he is in truth a fart/has fetisht

>>30908846
I despise fimfic as well. Except for like one or two smut fics, i've avoided that place like the plague

>>30908719
Since they have craggodiles, imagine the stalactites they're shoving up there

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>>30907218
>all this shitposting
>just wanted to talk about sweet sphinx pussy

>>30908904
You deserve this

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>>30907218
Reminder that the thing the prince was tied to looked like it was a giant buttplug.

>>30908904
Old, smelly and crusty no thanks.

>>30908912
>implying it wasn't

>Her name is Hor-em-akhet
>A portmanteau of her parent's names, Horus and Sekhmet
>Anon keeps butchering it and referring to her as "Horse-Am-A-Cat."

>>30908924
Shitty headcanon
Anon butchering her name could be funny, but those names are shit

>>30908930
Hor-em-akhet is the only name the legit Sphinx is known as.

The Hellenized version is Harmachis.

It means "Horus of the Horizon."

>>30908912
She probably used it like a dildo while the prince was still attached to it.

>>30908912
>The Sphinx demands tribute
>Attractive young stallions are brought to the Sphinx as an offering
>She shoves them up her ass and plugs it to prevent their escape
>After a year, the plug is removed, they are released, and a new offering must take his place

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>>30908942

>>30908937
Who cares about the real sphinx?
Celestia isn't named after Apollo or Helios or Zhulong or Horus or whatever
Just like Iron Will isn't named after our minotaur

Just find a cute cat/horse name with egyptian connotations and there you go
Horse and cat is horrible in every ways possible

>>30908972
Neighpurrtiti

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>>30908942
Where do I sign up?

>>30908941
There's one where Fluttershy is doing it to anon except instead of a butt plug it's a dildo being inserted in her vagina.

>>30908942
stupid vorefag

>>30908983
It's anal vore fag anon.

>>30908985
thats like im not a horsefucker, im an arabian horsefucker.

>>30908747
shots fucking fired

>>30909006
Get with the time anon.

>>30908797
but it does

>>30909028
Who are you?

>>30908875
Then we can't help you, Anon.

>>30908912
Reminder that the prince wears a buttplug on his chin

>>30909036
a bringer of truth

here is a revelation for you

You are in the closet about your homosexuality

Where the fuck is my part 2 of Sphinxy cockvoring somamabambula?

>>30908495
>after we all agreed
>we all
Stop talking.

>>30909055
Alright then kid go back school you need help with your autism.
Also I don't have time to play with your blocks.

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>>30908446
AYO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vICX-6dMOuA

>>30908495
>Anonymously make a demand on an Anonymous board
>Claim consensus with your stupid ideas

Why do people keep doing this shit?

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>>30909085
>Epic Meme Battles of Reddit History

>>30909098
Abloo bloo bloo muh rebbit muh maymays. That's from the second season you absolute shitter, when the series was good.

>>30909085
That's pretty..... gay.
Don't waste my time with shit raps, but after all I hate rap so I don't know.

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>>30909121
>when the series was good
Sure, whatever you say.

>>30909121
You're an actual child, aren't you?

>>30907218
https://derpibooru.org/1494773?q=artist%3Abadumsquish

https://derpibooru.org/1496329?q=artist%3Abadumsquish

>>30908976
That's already ten times better desu
Or maybe neighferkitty?

>>30909082
It is OK friend, it is nothing to be ashamed of. They say exiting the closet of denial exposes you to the light of truth and transparency. You must take a journey of self-discovery to fully realize yourself and what you desire. If you keep denying what you truly want, such restraint will reflect on you over time, and you'll eventually become a tranny going on a killing spree.

So please anon, accept your homosexuality.

>>30908976
I would neigh into her crotchtitties til she purred

>>30909546
But she's got a cat body. She'd have 8 tits going down her belly.

>>30907218
Just stop this Anon. Lightning isn't going to strike twice. We're not going to get any more green out of this so just let it go

>>30909559
Then I've got to go the speed of fast

>>30908495
It was literally 1 person who basically said "There's no more content. MLPG is the new thing for it." Despite there literally being images posted and discussed.

>>30909559
Her body is that of a horse, the only cat parts are the paws and tail. Crotchtits are a go.

>>30910243
And yet here we are, 81 posts in and nothing but memes, shitposts and 'no ur the kid XD'

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This pic needs the Brazzers logo

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>>30909187
>he says unironically while posting on a board about a show designed for little girls

>>30910259
Does this mean what I think it means? HORSE PUSSY?

>>30910461
Fuck that green.
Fuckface anon with an unbearable personality repeatedly rapes and stockholm syndromes the sphinx.
The bar is lower than ever.

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>>30910591
I had a good laugh in that thread and the green was enjoyable. Also...
>The bar is lower than ever.
Come on dude, how long have you been here? You know that's not true.

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>>30910591

>>30910591
THIS IS WHY I NEED FEMINISM

>>30910591
Nigga you just jealous because that wasn't you

>>30908942
Fuck, sign me up nigga

>>30908942
>Be Anon living in Horsegypt
>Doing your usual business one day when a commotion draws your attention
>Something big is at the pyramids
>It's a bigass sphinx
>She cute
>All the ponies are cute
>You watch from a distance as she pulls a giant stone buttplug out and drops it
>You then watch, with a terrified erection, as she fishes a stallion out of her ass and throws him back into the crowd
>"A year has passed, I demand a new tribute." her voice booms
>The crowd starts pushing forward a terrified stallion towards the grinning sphinx
>You rush through the crowd and punch the stallion out
>The sphinx rears up and growls
>"What is the meaning of this?!" she demands
"I volunteer! I volunteer to get all up in there!"
>"... What?" she seems honestly confused
>You stand confidently
"The only thing keeping me from living in Somnambula's ass is that I can't fit."
>Somnambula frowns at you
>"Pervert!"
>The paw of the sphinx wraps around your body, lifting you up to her face
>She examines you closely
>"Are you well, human?"
"I'm fine, just shove me up your ass already."
>The sphinx looks around awkwardly as she reaches behind her and pushes the human into the dark depths of huge rear

>>30910901
>my_colon_has_wifi.jpg

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>>30910591
we need james cameron

>>30907218
So fucking hard dude.

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>>30910461
Unf

>>30910963
That is a nice pic. It better lead to porn

>>30910714
Literally this.

>>30910591
And she tried to make a meal out of him, repeatedly. Seems fair to me.

>>30911198
Sphinx is for reforming, forgiveness, and consensual bondage sexy times, not humiliation and rape.

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>>30910591
>Wow! Look at me, I'm a contrarian!

>>30911233
You say that as if it isn't her fetish.

>>30910714
>>30911149
Rape is for degenerate lowlifes.

>Watch Stargate with Sphinx
>She pouts that there's no Jaffa armor based after her

>>30911562
And where do you think you are?

sphink best waifu

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Bump

>>30910901
I would like to point out the strange hypocrisy on the part of the Sphinx. I doubt that she needs someone inside her ass to live. I doubt that her magic is fueled by the weak struggles of stallions inside of her colon. The only reasonable explanation is that this is her fetish. You'd think she'd be happy to find someone with a complimentary fresh, but instead she's weirdly judgemental. Sadists don't get creeped out by masochists, and watersports enthusiasts don't get disgusted by people who like to drink piss. It's like a lock feeling uncomfortable because a key wants to get all up inside of them.

it is kill

>>30914665
It's weird for some sadists when the masochist is eager and willing, as sometimes the unwillingness of the situation is the goal.

t. A sadomasochist.

>>30917849
Is there a distinction to be made?

Like a sadist is someone who wants to hurt others who enjoy being hurt, and an sadasshole is someone who wants to hurt others who don't enjoy to be hurt?

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>>30917951
To begin with, we need to clarify exactly what a sadist is. If you derive any kind of positive emotional experience out of any form of suffering caused by yourself to a willing or unwilling participant, you are a sadist. The distinction is usually what kind of suffering you like to cause. For example, Sphinx appears to be the kind who prefers the unwilling, because it's not so much their physical suffering she's after, but their emotional suffering. For that to be legitimate, the pony being shoved up her ass needs to be unwilling and since Anon isn't unwilling, it defeats the entire point of doing it.

She did it anyway since if she refused, it would give the other ponies the idea that they just need to pretend they want to go up her ass and she'd stop doing it.

It's kind of like having rape as your sexual fantasy, it can never be completely fulfilled because you will always be willing to get raped, thus making it consensual.

Her name should be Neipertiti. Looks more legit and keeps the neigh/purr pun.

>>30917996
Neighpurrkitty*

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Hot off the pad; a WIP of more Anon x Sphinx. Much comfier than my last pic of these two.

Threads kinda strange atm, if it dies you can follow progress here https://derpibooru.org/1533003. Or juat search for Sphinx and you'll find it.

>>30918631
Daww

>>30918631
This is great anon, thanks.

>>30910591
Agreed

>>30918631
F L U F F

Shit, that doesn't work like thicc or succ. Either way it looks great.

>>30918631
He s a big guy

>>30918631
TOP CUTE

Pred/prey green about sphinx chasing Anon like a mouse when
And then intense cuddles happens,
and Anon has to go somewhere but she doesn't let go until he resolves some riddle
plot twist is that he knows the answer but fakes not knowing it

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>>30918821
>"You are mine, AnonyMOUSE!"

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>>30918844

>>30910901
Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!

>>30918631
Oh god her fluff would be soooo soft... Except the wet patches.

>>30918631
>"I am the guardian of this place! Those who wish to pass must answer me these ques-"
"Omigosh... You're so cute!"
>"Wha? How dare you, mortal! I am the... LET GO OF ME THIS INSTANT!"
"You're so soft and fluffy!"
>"I AM NOT FLUFFY! I AM THE GUARDIAN!"
"Who's a good kitty then?"
>"Oh for crying out... actually, this stroking is not disagreeable..."
"You're a pretty kitty! Yes you are!"
>"Flattery will get you nowhere... purrrrrrrrr... however, feel free to continue... a little lower... right there."
"So warm and fluffy."
>"It has, perhaps, been too long since I last had a cuddle."

>>30918631
hhngggg

>"Who dare enter this sacred place? Leave or you shall face the wra-"
"Hey kitty!"
>"Of course it's you again... I told you to stop calling me that!"
"A good morning to you, too!"
>"Urgh... What do you want? Don't you see I have important guardian business to do?"
>You're pretty sure she just got out of bed, judging by those stray hairs peeking out under her... What's that even called? Tiara? You gotta ask her later...
"I just want to spend some time with you, talk a bit, maybe-"
>"But why? Did those ponies send you?"
"Nah, nothing like that. I just thought you could use some company. You probably don't get many visitors, right? Plus you're cute and fluffy and I have a thing for big women."
>"Y-You-"
>You can't quite make it out through her red fur, but you think she's blushing.
>"W-Well what if I eat you? I let you leave this place three times now, maybe I'll change my mind today!"
"I brought you some cans of tuna and a fur brush."
>"..."
>"Dammit..."
>She turns around and motions for you to follow her.
>"But don't touch any ancient artifacts! I just got finished recasting all their curses yesterday."
"Sure, kitty."

>>30921528
I hate cats.

>>30919056
>>30921528
This is great
Tsundere sphinx is TOP CUTE

>>30921609
Everybody does, and they hate everybody too
Good thing it's a Sphinx

>>30921617
Part cat I still hate her for being part cat anon.

>>30921627
Who cares!
It's still a female that's twice your size and has fluffy super comfy fur and purrs when you caress her and tells you to go away as she uses her soft, gigantic paws to keep you close

>>30921648
I care I hate cats even female cats I don't care if this thing is a girl I still hate her for being a cat and also cats are known as a predator and I'm fairly certain that this cat will eat you.

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>>30921648

>>30918631
>tfw pic related will never happen to you

>>30907340
WOULD YOU?

>>30921696
Fuck, that was for >>30921676
GAY

>>30907218
I would anything at this point

>>30918660
How bout P H L U F F

https://derpibooru.org/1530259
https://derpibooru.org/1533274
https://derpibooru.org/1533277

>>30918631
For a beast her size her purrs would be like the vibrations of a massage chair.

>Anon lies slumped in the lap of the Sphinx
>the floof
>the gentle rocking
>the subtle rising body warmth
>but most importantly the rhythmic pulse-like purring.
>it had all been too much for Anon. Within minutes he was out like a light.
>his head lulled to the side drooling onto the Sphinxs downy chest much to her annoyance.
"This wreched monkey. Who the hell does he think he is!?"
"I could crush him with my tail alone."
>Anon stirrs
>Shinxy gasps slighrly and continues rocking softly
"I want to clean my chest"
"but I dont want to wake him up..."
"gahh, this is soo gross"
"Gods... why cant I stop purring...

>>30921617
B-but I like cats! And my cat likes me!

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>>30922302
Keep telling yourself that Anon, but you ain't foolin me

>>30922059
All this great content for new hottness. Its like Dashies mom all over again

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>>30922059
>1530259
>1533274
i'd love to get the *solution* from that riddle

if only anon were big enough to take it.

>>30922059
Oh god, I love it. To think sonambugangbangula almost suffocated by sphinx marecum

>>30923212
HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG

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Posting sex kitten from previous thread
https://derpibooru.org/1530728

>>30918631
Little saliva strand between Anon's head and her tongue? My kingdom for a saliva strand.

>>30922059
>futa
of course

>>30923526
Fuck someone already posted. Nevermind.

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>>30921609
Cats are... interesting. They aren't social the way dogs are, and that translates into domesticated life. Doge is compelled to be with you. All that attention and affection? That's ass kissing. Because you are the alpha. You have the food, the water, the shelter and warmth, the treats, etc. That isn't to say it isn't genuine of course. Because for them it is. It's life or death. But all you need to do is realize why women are referred to as "bitches" and you will understand the reality of dogs. Cats don't have that. They don't need you. You aren't the masters of their lives the same way you are for a dog. KOT can hunt. He can sleep wherever. He can survive on his own. When KOT spends time with you, it is because he wants to, not because he has to in order to survive. If you can build a relationship with him, it will last a lifetime. It's more a relationship of equals than of master and slave. Doge shares a bed with you because he is part of the pack. Your cat climbs up next to you so you can spoon him because he loves it. It's a whole different animal.

t. dude who's owned both

>>30923742
dogs have cooler dicks tho

>>30923755
Dog dicks are legit gross. If it actually has a bone in it, the boner is gross. Fact. Fuck off furfag. I'll stick to big yummy horse cocks like a normal person, thanks.

>>30923767
>actually has a bone in it, the boner is gross
how is that even your criteria?

I agree horse wang is best wang, but my point was that dog dick is better than cat cock.

Same order for pussy too.
horse > dog > cat

>>30923913
Just a rule of thumb that dicks that have bones in them are nasty looking. I don't give a rat's ass about cats, and dog junk is gross. Go horse or go home.

>>30923942
ya dumb kid. dog dick is pretty kool

>>30917996
>>30917998

>Neipurtiti
>Neipertiti
>Neypurtiti
>Neypertiti
>Nepertiti
>Nepurtiti
>Neighpurrtiti

That's all the variations I can think of. Which one looks the best.

>>30924043
Need the kitty

>>30924066
Neipurkiti
Neiperkiti
Neypurkiti
Neyperkiti
Neperkiti
Nepurkiti
Neighpurrkitty

>>30924043
Neipurrtiti

Adding kitty to her name is too much imo. >Neigh - Horse
>Purr - Cat
>titi - Ties reference together.

>>30924213
Nah
Neiperkitty is better

>>30924244
Neipurkitty is best.

>>30923742
However, there are some cats that will just hang around you because you're an easy source of food and give off that tsundere air and are generally abusive.

>>30924213
I like this one, no need for two cat references.

>>30908596
I've come back to this thread various times skipping past your image because i couldn't really understand what it was. Then I enlarged it and I am not somewhat sad at myself for understanding the joke and laughing to myself.

>>30923212
That's a big box.

>>30923742
>typing up all that for a shitty pun
excellent work, Carlos

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Update; line work and shading done. Just need to scan and clean up in Photoshop, as you can see the paper i drew this on is very grainy so it needs a bit of cleaning.

Should be up in about 20hrs. Its bedtime in AU so goodnight all, dont forget to hug your Sphinx beforr bed.

>>30925349
Jesus, sorry for posting pic for giants. Im tired.

>"No way to run, no way to flee, before you answer my questions three!"
>You feel an ancient magic swirling around your body, rooting you on the spot and keeping you from moving.
"No warning today? What's with your usual 'Beware of the guardian' speeches?"
>"And let you interrupt me again? You've been avoiding my riddles for long enough! Just be glad I didn't use a stronger curse, like for those pesky ponies..."
"Going easy on your favourite cuddle buddy, huh?"
>Her red fur still is making it hard to see, but you're pretty sure she's blushing now.
>"T-That's preposterous! You just turned out to be one of the better servants I've had, that's all."
"Well, anyway, this curse still is kinda unpleasant, so... Alright, let's play your game."
>"No more interruptions?"
"No more interruptions."
>Her face instantly lights up. Happy kitty!
>"First question: A tasty meal for you to munch, but it's not breakfast, brunch or lunch. What am I?"
>Hmmm. Is she asking for a specific food or... But why not breakfast or lunch? ... Of course! Seems a bit too obvious, but she IS going easy on you, so...
"Dinner."
>"YES!"
>She claps her paws.
>"Uhm, I..."
>Realizing her slip-up, she quickly puts on a stoic expression.
>"That was correct, human."
>"Second question: I warm you, but don't burn your flesh. I'm red as blood or white as snow. Most like me old rather than fresh. I make you happy, sad, let go. What am I?"
>This one's easy. Is she hungry or something?
"Wine."
>"Correct again!"
>She can't help letting a little smile slip through her mask. Though there's a hint of something else you can't quite place...

>>30925357
>"N-now for my last question. Uhm..."
>Nervous. She's nervous. But why? What's going on here?
>"Ok. H-here it is: After dinner and some drinks, could you... w-would you... with a sphinx?"
>thats_not_a_riddle.jpeg
>Woah, is she actually asking you out?!
"Are you... asking me out?"
>*maximum blush activated*
>"No interruptions, j-just answer the question! ... Please?"
>That was unexpected. You know you're her only friend and she likes you, but...
>Damn, she's super adorable, being all flustered and making those kitty eyes.
>Well, after all the friendly flirting and cuddling, you definitely wouldn't mind trying to go a step further.
"Of course I would."
>"R-really?"
"Yes."
>You feel the curse around your body lifting, letting you move again.
>Not that you can make it very far before she pounces at you and wraps her paws around you in a giant fluffy hug.
>A giant fluffy hug that's making it kinda hard to breathe.
"Uhm, could you... please..."
>"Oh, sorry..."
>With a sheepish smile she sets you down, then gently wraps her body around you and lays her head on your lap.
>You begin scritching her behind her ears.
>Purrfect.
"So why the curse and those riddles? You could have just asked me, you silly kitty."
>"It's a sphinx thing, you wouldn't understand..."

>>30908446
Then it's your job to clean it, dumbass.

>>30921968
WOULD I?

>>30925357
>>30925358
my heart can't take this much cute

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I am calling her Riddle Methis and nothing will stop me.

>"Three riddles now you must face, or else this room will be your resting place."
"Wait, riddles?"
>"Yes, riddles."
"I thought I was going to be answering questions. I tap out."
>"There is no retreat once you have entered, mortal.
"No, you don't get it. I can't do this. I don't even really need the treasure, so just keep it."
>"What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of the end, and the end of every race?"
"Fuck."
>"No."
"That wasn't my answer."
>"Then answer."
"Um, let's see. The beginning of eternity was...God. I think. Or maybe that's just what Christians want me to believe. So it was either God or an atom. But what made the atom? Ok, fuck that. What is at the end of space? Space is infinite, so nothing. But wait, so what if God made eternity but this is also an atheist riddle, so since nothing is at the end of space, God isn't real? But that ruins the riddle. Is this a trick question?"
>"Maybe this one was too hard for you. I am five items of an every day sort. You'll find me all in 'a tennis court'. What am I?"
"Um."
>"A tennis court."
"Yeah, I heard you. Let me think."
>"You really don't have to think hard."
"A net, a racket, a ball, the players. Um...the uh...does the paint count?"
>"Are you kidding?"

>>30925424
Don't think I've seen an Anon who's too dumb to solve her riddles yet. An interesting but welcome change.

>>30925407
Aww, now I'm gonna think of her that way too.

>>30925349
>>30925353
It's all good Anon, keep up the good work
Too big is always better than too smol

>>30925358
>could you... w-would you... with a sphinx?
My sides.

>>30925424
>over-analyzing every riddle
I love it.

>>30926294
Fun fact: "could you would you" actually was the sentence that started this story. Then I needed a rhyme on sphinx and found drinks. Suddenly I had written two riddles about dinner and needed some backstory and here we are.

>>30923742
This. So much this. I have a cat that sort of hangs around. He comes and goes when he pleases. He doesn't need me to feed him because he hunts the local mice and rabbits and birds. And still he'll come running when I call him, meowing like a maniac

>>30923767
Dogs and horses are eerily similar, not just in penile function but general body shape. Horses are just giant dogs with hooves

>>30909121
But the first season was better.

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>>30927916

>>30925358
nigga that too kawaii

>>30923742
Dogs don't care about food. I mean, they do, but that's not why they love you. You could not feed a dog for days and kick it across the room and they would still be wagging their tail when you got home. The loyalty of a dog is not something that can be understood by humans. They're just too pure. Cats? Cats are lazy shitters. And yes, some don't depend on you as some can hunt, but most cats people owned are domesticated and never leave the house. They DO depend on you, they're just assholes. Dogs are objectively superior to cats.

t. Someone who has owned both

>>30927916
Have you ever known a really dumb dog?

That's a smart horse.

>>30928672
I bet your favorite book is White Fang, too.

>>30928672
Dogs have pack mentality, and cats don't. A dog literally thinks of you as part of their family. Cats do love their owners, maybe just as much as dogs do, but they aren't pack animals.

>>30929117
>maybe just as much as dogs do
Made me exhale through my nose.

>>30928672
then you got shitty cats, mate
my main nigga is always brushing the shit out of me, following everywhere i go
and the second she sees that im heading to my room, she'll run ahead of me and try to beat me to it
my honky just finds people that are relaxing somewhere, and slowly eases into cuddling the shit out of you

>>30923742
Oh yeah, definitely cats won't eat you in 2 mins if you're dead it's not like cat doesn't secretly want to kill you for food.
Dogs yes they see you as the alpha but they see you as the pack leader as family how many times have you heard of a dog protecting its owner or a complete stranger what have cats done exactly?
And what animal is used for therapy, rescue and protection oh that's right dogs also dogs need you as a parent to them they are your child that's why they need you, cats are like a teenager who doesn't want to leave home because they have everything there.

>>30910591
what green?

>>30927877
Be careful on letting your cat go outside, my brothers friend found a stray cat and he made him get near him with food, when he got him he put him in a bag and started to spin it he would let the cat get out, but when he did the cat would try to run away only to fall and my brothers friend would do it over and over, eventually making it throw up and he also fell in the pool.

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>>30929696
This guy. Dropping red hot truths.

>>30930249
Anon why is your brother friends with an asshole?

>>30929696
What?

>>30930305
Idk, but all I know is that they were friends since middle school.
At time it was funny but now it's still kinda funny but not as much.

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>>30908797
>fags are so autistic they a make excuses not to fuck a vagina
>get assblasted when someone calls them out on their faggotry
>they're so queer they need to reinforce how straight they are
ebin

>>30930326
You know it to be true anon.

>>30921617
My cat doesn't hate me nor does he like me, we have a non-aggression pact though

>>30929696
>Oh yeah, definitely cats won't eat you in 2 mins if you're dead
Key thing is a cat will ONLY eat you if you're dead.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/30/dog-eats-testicle_n_3678211.html

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Every cat was once a kitten.

>>30931347
I'm saying that cats won't hesitate to eat your dead corpse in minutes, dogs in the other hand will wait days if no one shows up what other choice do they have unlike cats who see you as food.

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New Sphinx and We Wuz Pony art

>>30908942
>It has three bedrooms, two bath and free wi fi

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She needs your help, Anon!

>>30931525

But you're dead, you don't have to care what eats you. If it keeps my fuzzy little buddy alive until someone finds him, I don't mind being 200lbs of food.

So is she a pony or a cat or what

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>>30931828
>pic related
(Though this thread seems to go a bit more for cat than for pony.)

>>30931347
>>30931525
Fuck. Just get a gerbil and shut up.

>>30931774
They start with the soft flesh of your face before rigor mortis sets in.

>>30931333
That's what they all say, right before the cat cuts them a new one
Fuck cats

>>30907218
>dog/cat debate
Look, I'd fuck the big pony cat thing, too, but dogs are ultimately the better companions
>Dogs: ha ha, I like you! pet me!
>Cats: Don't pet me or I'll scratch you, Keep petting me or I'll scratch you

>>30932257
There are bad mannered dogs and good mannered cats.

>>30932267
>good mannered cats
You mean, sometimes they're in a good mood
And by sometimes I mean rarely

(Trying my hand at some green, based on the earlier greentext and early in their uhm... relationship.)

>Heeey Nepherkitty! I'm home!
"Who dares to... YOU! You dare return after how you violated me?! I will make your death agonizing!"
>Now now, I know you missed me. I only went for pizza. Can you believe there is not one pizza place in this whole town? Best I could do was falafels, whatever the hell they are. I borrowed a few of your gems to pay for it. Hope you don't mind. Oh, I see we have a guest.
"Yessss," the sphinx hissed. "This foolish pony thief failed to correctly solve my riddle and was turned to stone. Learn from her mistake."
>Wait, I think I know her. They write books about her up north. Uhhhm... Dipping Dots. No. Uhh, Ditzi Do! Dazzle Do? Something like that.
"Her name is not important. She will never use it again. While she is stone I plan to drop her into the bubbling slime. She will sink low. When she returns to flesh and blood she will know true dispair as she struggles helplessly... to... to... why are you removing your garments?!"
>There is a nice hole back here. Looks just the right size. And her tail is flicked to the side out of the way. Lucky that. I can't pass this up. You can watch if you want to.
"YOU... I... how can any creature in this world be so focused on sex?! You're molesting a statue!"
>I've had practice. The last couple of times with you. Oh yeah.
"Stop that! I command you! I will not tolerate this!" In spite of the sphinx's demands and threats, Anon continued to conclusion. As he sat down to catch his breath, the statue began to magically glow. "What is this? You disrupted my curse! How? This did not happen to me!"
>Beats me. Maybe ponies are different. Maybe it's like a prince kissing an enchanted princess. Only I didn't use my lips.

>>30931525
You really believe that, don't you?
http://archive.is/9oJol

I've got dogs too, and I love them. But don't delude yourself. Face reality. And fuck off the diamond dog thread if you hate cats so much, you philistine. Spinx doesn't want you.

>>30933028

In another moment Daring Do was back to normal, looking around confused. "What happened?"
The sphinx lowered her huge head down directly in front of the adventurer. "You have been violated by the most disgusting creature in the universe. That is your punishment. Now leave! Flee from here!" Daring didn't need to be told twice. She quickly retreated toward the exit. "And now you!"
>I'll be glad to, but you have to give me a moment to recover. Tell you what, why don't we have some falafels and you can ask me a riddle or two and by then I'll be set.
"What? No! No riddles! No challenge! You will not trick me again!"
>Oh come on Kitty. I'll ask you one. I win, we get to snu-snu some more.
"Very well," the sphinx replied as she glared daggers at him. "And when I win you will turn to stone. And I shall break off your manhood. When you return to normal you will be a eunuch and I will take great delight in your agony. Deal?"
>If you want a dildo there are easier ways. I know this naughty dragon that specializes in them. But for your size it will have to be a custom job.
"Do we have a deal?!"
>Yes yes. Your are so tense today. Let me think. Knock knock.
"THAT'S NOT A RIDDLE!"
>Okay. I know. Why did the bear cross the road?
"Oh you fool," answered the sphinx with a smug grin. "Trying something so simple on me. To get to the other side."
>Nope. Wrong.
"What do you mean wrong? That's the answer! To get to the other side is always the answer!"
>The chicken crossed the road to get to the other side. I said bear.
"So? Why did the bear cross the road?"
>He was glued to the chicken. Don't look so mad. Where I come from even little kids know that. It's not my fault you are terrible at riddles.
"I am a master of riddles!" the furious sphinx screamed.
>Then why are your paws already stone? Again.

>>30925424
First one sounds like it's death. Death, heat death of the universe, death. Probably.

Second one I have no idea. Is it a reference? Or one of those jokes you either know or you've never heard it before?

>>30933358
Both are letter answers and can be found on google.

The answer to the first is E and the answer to the second are the vowels: A, E, I, O, U

>>30933358
The first one is "e". Personally I think those kinds of riddles are lame and unsporting. It's more "clever" than it is thoughtful or intelligent. Like a lame parlor trick you might use to impress shallow people.

>>30933107
Buzzfeed really.
Also I'm not deluding myself anon I know facts I know that cats are shit heads and don't care about you.
Dogs on the other hand love you no matter what, of course if you find a stray dog it won't know you and probably do some stupid shit just like a stray cat.
Also if the sphinx doesn't want me why do I care?

>>30933420
I just googled 'dog eats man' and that's what showed up. Everything is sighted in the article for you, you stupid bob. Didn't even read it, did you? You are a child who looks at the world through happy fantasy. Grow up. Sorry that your cat scratched you as a child when you were endlessly harassing it. It's great that you love your dog, but you really should face the reality of that relationship. Lucky for you animals are dumb and dependent enough that you almost never really have to. I guess that's why people love them so much, ehh? Because of delusion.

>>30933458
No I don't read buzzfeed, also I did own a cat but he ended up getting run over never scratched me nor anything, I know some dogs are complete dicks but the majority of cats are complete assholes and this whole animals are dumb have you seen rescue, therapy and rescue dog they are trained for it but they know what to do.
It's fun being delusional about dogs being the best type of pet and friend.
Now cats what do they do exactly other then eating anything they see?
And don't say pest control.

>>30933187

"NO!" the sphinx yelled as she fought her own curse to no avail. "NOOO! Not again! The riddle is nonsense! You have cheated!"
>Cheating? No. Gaming the system, maybe. Anyway, you're stuck with it. Speaking of sticking, which end would you like?
"Not this time, perverse monster. You may have tricked me but I will not allow you any prize for your victory." The sphinx sat down just before her flank transformed. She also turned her head, covering her face with a wing.
>Oh come on baby. Don't be like that. You know you enjoy it too.
The sphinx only made a humph sound, but otherwise did not move. In a few seconds she would be completely turned to stone with all vulnerable holes covered.
>Okay fine. Be that way. You win. I'll just sit down and have lunch. You know, I never noticed this before, but from this angle it's so obvious. You have the fattest ass in all of Equestria.
"I DO NOT!" the sphinx yelled, or tried to. At that moment she was frozen in mid-scream, her head lowered, her mouth open.
>That's my girl. Mouth it is then. I knew you enjoyed the taste from last time. By the way, if you hadn't moved I would have been forced to spooge in your ear. This is better for both of us. Oh and I don't think that Darling Do pony actually left. While you are stuck for a week, she's probably going to steal some of your stuff. You know, if I give her enough treasure, I wonder if she could find us a good pizza chef.

>>30933683

Sorry for the delay on the ending. Internet problems. And it is the ending unless another idea comes to mind.

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>"What is that ridiculous suit you're wearing?"
"Come now, I find it quite fetching. In fact, it matches my eyes!"
>"You have no eyes, just a giant question mark for a face."
"And now I have them all over my body!"
>"But why?"
"I figured I would become your partner in crime. From today onward, you may refer to me as The Riddler!"
>"That's fucking lame."
"Not a fan of the classics, I take it? Well that's fine, I have some more modern spice-ups to add to the ensemble."
>"Oh joy."
>The walls of the tomb flicker and glow as your face appears on every surface
>"What in Tartarus is this?!"
"W-W-Welcome boysboysBOYSboys and g-g-g-g-ir-ir-irrrrrlzz!"
>Your visage stutters and shakes, cutting in and out in a disturbing projector show, a creepy smile splitting the flesh of your face to show off your rarely seen mouth
>"...What passes through but is never seen entering, announces its presence when it arrives but does not speak?"
"Did you just shit yourself?"
>"Yes."
"Then my work here is done! Oh and about that never being seen entering part..."
>"Please don't."
"You'd be surprised what we humans get up to when we're bored."
>"I'm going to be sick."
"Try to do it in the same spot."
>"I hate you."
"Okay."
>"What, no witty comeback?"
"I mean, I'd tell you you're full of shit but-"
>"Gods damn you, I'll have my scarabs eat out your eyes!"
"Honey, the only thing you're summoning with that attitude is dung beetles."
>"Don't you dare!"
"Because it's real shitty."
>[angry sphinx noises]

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Damn, that's a giant pusspuss

>>30934107
The bigger they are, the harder they cum.

>>30933187
>>Yes yes. Your are so tense today. Let me think. Knock knock.
>"THAT'S NOT A RIDDLE!"
I laughed

>>30934115
C-can i surf in those waves?

>>30933187
Getting some real Blaine vibes from this cat.

>>30934107
n-nice kitty

>>30934107
>No nipples running up her middle
>Man pecs
Trash

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I think the real question is: Would a Sphinx me?

>>30937333
>tfw the remember me box means nothing because I'm too paranoid to let sites keep cookies
My trust issues keep anyone from knowing me.
Story of my life.

>>30934107
Cats have claws between the toes, not in the middle of them.

>>30937458
>Cats have claws between the toes
Just how autistic are you?

>>30909187
Most of /mlp/ is underage, it's clear from reading just a couple of posts