Slave Pony Thread #127

Comfy Mare Slaves when?

Filly brothel when?

>>30877507
Miss the mandatory GIF anon

>>30877504
what is that?

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>>30877492
>as you pull over to a stop you index the hazard button on the dash
>you unbuckle your seatbelt and reach over and grab your phone as snap feverishly unbuckles herself and busts out of the passenger door
>leaning over against your elbow, nothing but the sound of cars whizzing by and your hazards rhythmically clicking occupies your ears
>a minute goes by and there's no sign of snap yet
>as if on cue the door lethargically swings open
>snaps peering over the side, a deep blush enveloping her muzzle
"are you done yet?"
>"a-anon I can't"
"what do you mean you can't?"
>"I can't... mfph there's people and I can't!"
"what..?"
>"there's cars... and they can see me ok! can you cover me or"
>fucking hell
>after waiting for a few cars to scream by you quickly jump out and walk around to her
>after awkwardly shuffling around you come to terms with holding your t-shirt like a curtain to cover her
>she's still violently red in the face, her legs criss crossing as she struggles to lift her tail
>you look away from her, mimicking a spanish bull fighter as you pose idlely with your draped shirt
>you wait for sound but nothing comes
>glancing in the reflection of the van you see her trembling
>she can't even get a trickle going
>you shuffle a bit, nervously watching your little mare squat hopelessly in the dirt
>after about 30 more seconds you break
"...snap?"
>she's almost hysterical
>"I-I can't! a-anon I'm.. I-I"
"Snap it's just you and me, no one else can see you"
>"I-I.."
>it dawns on you
"come on snap let's get this over with"
>she whines, her head drooping low as her ears pin
"Snap we made love two nights ago.. i've made you strip for me in a maids dress.. how is this any worse than-"
>"it just IS ok?"
>she muels that last word out with anger
>just as you're about to drop the shirt a car flys by and lays on the horn
>it's enough to startle snap into shifting
>it broke her focus and all at once her dam breaks

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>>30877521
Don't worry, I'll cover for him.

>>30877657
NIGGA WHY IS YOUR CAPITALIZATION SO INCONSISTENT.

>>30877683
Forgot to put [SPOILER] anon, your image will be baned for violating the code of the forum

>>30877688
this
really bothers me 2bqhwy famalamilia
either use it all the time or dont use at all

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>>30877657
>you'd be a lying son of a bitch to say you didn't watch at least a little
>you lewd fucker
>she pissed like a racehorse
>for almost a minute straight she quenched the dry dirt beneath her shivering in bouts of relief
>you watched her tail strain and ache as it struggled to flag for such a long period of time
>she pinned her ears especially as more cars continued to pass by
>with a heavy sigh she finished up, too embarrassed to talk or even quip you with some sarcastic vocabulary
>instead she clambered back up through the van door without a peep
>dawning you shirt again you note the massive dark patch on earth and quickly return to the a/c of your vehicle
>snap wasn't in the passenger seat anymore when you got back in
>instead she had climbed to the back row of seats and huddled herself into a corner, a pillow clutched tightly over her head
>without a word you start the van again and merge back on to the freeway
>you'll probably never hear the end of this one

>>30877724
>>30877688
forgive my Phone typinG
seriously tho I m too poor to afford a proper laptop sorry friend

>>30877291
horses can't get fleas

>>30877894

Learn something new everyday. How about Lice then? They're whitish as well so it makes more sense.

>>30877735
>>snap wasn't in the passenger seat anymore when you got back in
>>instead she had climbed to the back row of seats and huddled herself into a corner, a pillow clutched tightly over her head
how adorable

>>30877894
>>30877928

Apparantly the reason horses can't get fleas is because they don't have a den or nest or typical place they return to to sleep. So with Celestia being in a cage for a a while, sleeping on a dirty rag for a bed, it doesn't seem too far outside the realm of possibility.

>>30877501
Pony wears the saddle
Pony pulls the wagon

>>30877966
Domesticated horses are kept stalled, in some cases for up to 16 hours a day, and they still don't get fleas. They're not good hosts for fleas; the width and density of their hair isn't the same as dogs and cats for one thing. Fleas have a difficult time sticking to them as a result.

Horses don't get fleas.

>source: been a horse owner for 20 years

>>30878079
Hi swf.

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>>30878079
>Implying ponies have normal horse hair and not denser, softer more fluffy hart.

>>30878316
>.> hart

>>30877760
There are decent bluetooth keyboards on ebay or aliexpress, just get whatever. I was using a third party kb from old ipad with my cheap android tablet for almost a year, that crappy thing was just skies above touchscreen typing. And I even got it for free since dude drowned his ipad beyond repair.

>>30878684

I write on an ipad, using the touch screen. I actually find it slightly easier than typing on a PC or laptop, partly due to the predictive texting and auto correct, and partly because I'm not quite right. You can't do shit on mobile though

https://pastebin.com/b7EwCWQj

And here is the pastebin.

>>30878732
Autocorrection is not a bad idea, I am still typing faster than on a PC using my 12-button keyboard on nokia 6300 with the help of T9. But touchscreen can only make you that fast and on 8 inches you really start to consider putting it on your lap and type like on a normal kb. On android we have "hacker's keyboard" which also has full layout, but that's still not the same. The feeling of pressing a button is so much supreme even on a tablet. I have so much struggle with 5inch phone now that my tabled went to Valhalla.

>>30878766
I suppose it's just personal preference, as I said I'm not quite right.

>>30877735
Poor little poner needs some cheering up.

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>all this talk about typing proficiency
>proper punctuation and grammar
>recommendations so that people can improve and not make mistakes
>in the thread where Twilight is routinely misspelled as "Twiligth"
What, is today soul crushing irony day or something?

>>30879021
No its just soul crushing for me.

>>30879021
How quickly people tend to forget that /mlp/ is /b/ for ponytards. What's wrong with discussing tools which improve greentexting?

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>>>>>>>using proper grammerrr spelling and pubnctuation on 4chin
>>>>>>>>>>>>notjust jacking off with your right hanbd while you ytpe with yourr left

>>30878316
Love this picture

Cuddles story of adorable pegasus "daughter" when?

>>30879832
Making porn here.

>>30879099
BIG
MILK FILLED
TITTIES

>Blessed with two sunhorse stories, one warm and cute while the other feelsy and hard-hitting
Dayum. What did we do to deserve this? This is fantastic!

>>30866681
Good on Anon for recognizing he's been kind of underestimating the sheer scale of the task he's taken on; Celestia is not a 'stray cat' and taking her in has heavier implications than he had been really ready to expect. Perhaps once she is fully recovered, they can sit down and have a real talk about the future too...

>>30873283
Okay, wow. Still going full ahead with those one-two sucker punches of feels!

I'm not sure if you're taking a slower, more steady approach to explaining things here and will address these in the future, but there were a few points here that you might want to think about in the future: For instance, why exactly was she so utterly terrified of washing? Something that happened before? Was she always washed up before she was 'used'?

Also, at times Celestia seems to alternate between fully-lucid and totally drugged out just a bit to quickly (in my eyes, anyhow) - she's gone from being completely lost in it to largely able to communicate and no longer showing her drugged-up "ticks" in a single section.

Of course, again you may have a plan for these. Please, don't let this discourage you - by all means continue writing!

>>30872980
How have I not seen this before? I love this image!
>TFW no sunhorse to go out driving in the country with

>>30842875
>>30843896

"I..."
> Your tongue seems leaden, throat swollen shut again.
> How could you tell her?
> How could you expose her to this misery?
> Flurry Heart's future was supposed to be one of warmth, kindness, safety, and shelter for all ponies around her.
> Not a harsh existence of regrets for those she could not save.
> Moaning softly, you squeeze your eyes shut and flick your ears down and back - ignoring another panicked call from your daughter.
> "Momma?!"
> Anonymous had said he wanted her to lead another camp eventually.
> Would she face the same horrors you were?
> Again your stomach contorts.
> Even if he waited for her to be grown, a young pony should not have that kind of weight on her back!
> "Momma! What's wrong?!"
> For the briefest moment your eyes flick open - just long enough to see them both looking at you, eyes wide and concerned.
> A brief burst of anger sweeps through you:
> Anger at Anonymous for bringing your daughter into this.
> How dare he?
> What demanded that he destroy a filly's innocence, her belief in her mother?
> He had done this once before - told her you had been a bad pony.
> Preyed on her wholehearted belief that what her Master told her was the absolute, uncorruptible truth.
> And on your visceral need for your daughter's approval.
> Or was this anger at your own inability to admit that you could not explain this?
> That you were blindly flailing in the dark, seeking some way to lead your ponies that did not involve subjecting them to punishments?
"Flurry, I..."
> Suddenly she is there on the bed, right in front of you, rearing up on her hind legs with a few beats of her broad wings to reach for your neck.
> Little hooves slip around your neck and a muzzle buries itself against your shoulders, just below where the collar encircles your throat.
> You want to hug her, but even if your hooves were not shackled together you doubt there is enough strength left in your legs to do so.

>>30880777

> Instead what comes out is veritable tsunami of words:
"Oh, Flurry Heart - I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I never meant to leave you - oh, Harmony forgive me, I never meant it! I didn't want to-"
> Bending even further up, Flurry Heart brushes her nose against your jaw.
> "Were you a bad pony, Momma?"
> Again your heart flips and stomach wrenches at the sheer sadness in her voice.
"Yes."
> Whispering softly, you droop your head - letting Flurry Heart continue nuzzling into your cheek.
"I left you out there, in the cold without me, let you be captured and taken and I should have been there to stop them-"
> All your tears had been spent, but somehow you a fresh sob finds its way up from your throat.
"-and now, now I tried to go back to fighting Anonymous because I just wanted things to be so easy for me again, even if other ponies were getting hurt. And I know it was wrong, I know I shouldn't have, but I wanted him to hurt me so badly just so I could be angry at him again, and-"
> Clamping her legs around your neck again, your daughter whimpers:
> "Please don't be a bad pony, Momma. Please don't hate Master. I don't want him to go away."
"But I left you! I let you be taken by them, let you be left to rot and starve and if I had been there-"
> For just a second, she seems to hesitate.
> Then her answer comes:
> "But I'm here now. You're here now. I'm not hungry, and I'm not alone. And Anonymous doesn't hurt me. He even-"
> She shoots a questioning look at your owner, who nods an affirmative.
> Leaning in, Flurry drops her voice to an almost conspiratorial whisper:
> "-he even spanked Mistress Megan for being mean to the other ponies!"
> Despite the fierce pain you still feel, a little laugh manages its way to your lips.
"Truly?"
> "Uh-huh. Right in front of Thunderlane too! So Momma - please don't make him hurt you too. Please?"
> Damn Anonymous.
> Damn him to Tartarus for all eternity!
> How dare he use your daughter against you like this?

>>30880783

> But you cannot deny the reality of what you feel.
> Lifting your head, you please a soft kiss on Flurry Heart's muzzle.
"I won't be a bad pony, Little Gem. I promise, I won't."
> After a moment Anonymous' hand touches your shoulder.
> "Do you want to wash up, Cadance?"
"Yes, I... I think I'd like that very much."
> "Here. Show me your hooves?"
> You do, and he separates the shackles to hold a shortly length of hobbling chain between both fore and hind hooves.
> Enough to awkwardly shuffle with, if not truly walk freely.
> "Do I need to go with you?"
"No, I think I will manage on my own."
> The limiter on your horn, at least, had been removed; with hooves shackled your magic would still allow you to shower.
> Even the collar and bridle were... manageable.
> Being forced to limp about in chains was humiliating enough; you were not going to allow him to wash you like a foal!
> As a bonus, washing up gave you a few minutes alone to collect your thoughts.
> Scorching water cascades off your back, easing out knots in muscles driven in by your torturous experience.
> Your eyes close again, submerging your head in the cleansing flow.
> In retrospect, of course, it seems the ravings of a madmare.
> How could you have ever wanted to go back?
> The allure of simpler times hid a poisonous bite.
> No.
> You had to forge ahead.
> Somehow.
> Again you cast a silent wish that Shining Armor was here.
> While your destiny might be to spread love, his relentless drive and sense of justice balanced you perfectly.
> But he was gone - another casualty of slavery.
> You must face this alone-
> Lost in your thoughts, you suddenly find yourself tumbling - a clatter of hooves against porcelain tile as you slip on the slick floor.
> Instinctively you try and reach out and steady yourself on spread hooves, only for the hobbling chains to catch and still-weak muscles to fail you, bringing you the rest of the way to the floor in an ungainly sprawl.

>>30880798

> Stupid filly; what were you doing?!
> This is no time to be losing track of your own-
> "Cadance? Is everything okay?"
> Your cheeks heat, tail clamping down over your haunches.
> Now it was a debasing, ungainly sprawl as Anonymous peered in with a worried expression.
"Yes, I'll be fine. I just - just need to -"
> Damn these chains!
> Before you can get yourself upright, he is already at the edge of the shower area - reaching in to grab the head from its mount and bring it down to your level.
> "No, just stay there Cadance."
"You'll get wet!"
> "A little. I'll manage."
> Anonymous' tone suggests there is going to be no argument about this, and part of you wonders if that had been his plan all along.
> Kneeling beside you, he pauses just long enough to roll up his sleeves before going to work.
> As the first layers of soap are worked into your coat, you wonder how long it had been since someone had last done this.
> Certainly some of your past owners had staff responsible for bathing you.
> But their work had always been distant somehow, even when they primped and preened you as a polished trophy.
> Professional.
> Whatever his reasons Anonymous was now putting actual, real effort into this - fingers digging deep into your coat, working their way along your bands of muscle as he continues to soap you up.
> He was... forceful, but not harsh.
> Not rough.
> And to your eternal shame you can't help but find yourself enjoying the treatment some.
> Your wings unfold, drooping lazily out to either side - something he takes immediate advantage of, working in a touch of soap along the muscled limbs that support the spans of feathers.
> Shackles, collar, and bridle are all deftly worked around too, fingers digging beneath to send a small shiver down your spine.
> That truly did feel good, and-
> "Roll on your side? I need to get at your underside."
> Oh.
> Right.

>>30880803

> Old shame reasserts itself as you carefully tuck your tail in between your haunches, preserving your modesty while he works.
> Not that it helps much.
> There is still something profoundly vulnerable, something intimate, in rolling over to expose your belly to him.
> As if you needed a reminder that you were ultimately his property and subject to his orders.
> Was this somehow his revenge for your slip of the tongue earlier - reminding him that he was ultimately still your master, not a friend?
> Or somehow how he hoped to show affection?
> Sometimes he truly was an enigma to you.
> "Okay, stand up again? I'm going to rinse you off now."
"One moment."
> More carefully this time, you stand - careful not to overstress your weakened muscles again.
> Taking the showerhead again Anonymous sets it to a heavier spray setting and begins rinsing out all the soap he'd worked in, and you once again close your eyes and simply enjoy the impact of water against your coat.
> It was like a massage in its own way, and simply being able to stand there and enjoy...
> This was a luxury you had not had in a long time.
> As the soap runs out it almost seems to leave your coat feeling lighter, dried sweat from your... experience in the cell earlier washing away.
> Cathartic, almost.
> The last remnants of your mistake going down the drain.
> And-
> Reality comes crashing back as the spray goes up under your tail, sending a jolt of entirely different sensations through your body.
> He had not asked to do that!
> Wings snap out for entirely different reasos as you jolt upright with a small gasp, but the moment is already passed.
> What is not passed is the sharp heating of your cheeks.
> Relaxed as you were, your tail must have come untucked and Anonymous took the moment to... wash off there.
> You don't think he saw anything, and the brief touch of water had been perfunctory and brief.
> But still...

>>30880810

> Head drooping, you hide your still-flushed cheeks in the cascading fall of your mane while he finishes up.
> "All done. Do you need help drying off?"
"No. I will manage."
> This time you put as much effort as you can into the statement.
> Just in case he had any ideas; you needed some time alone to let that unwanted moment pass.
> "Alright. I'll be waiting outside."
> As soon as he is gone, you quickly dry yourself with one of Anonymous' towels.
> Relishing the almost cloudlike softness - you were so lucky to receive them once they were worn and thin.
> Most of the camp's linens were far cheaper cloths.
> The second you step from the bathroom, you stop still at the scene before you.
> Anonymous had Flurry Heart stretched across his lap, a brush in his hand.
> Wings unfolded in twin sprawling fans - a sign of utter relaxation - Flurry barely raises her head as you enter.
> Too delighted by the way Anonymous has been regularly drawing a brush through her mane and coat.
> Sighing gently, you take the brush in your magic.
"You can't brush her mane straight; it won't ever stay that way. You have to curl it."
> "Show me?"
> Carefully clambering up onto the bed, you settle prone onto your belly and stretch out your forelegs.
"Flurry? Come here, Little Gem?"
> Sparing a nervous glance at the shackles, Flurry settles across your slender legs.
> Soon she lulled back to a state of utter relaxation by the repeated passes of your brush.
> Unbidden, an old lullaby you'd once sung to her amid gleaming, crystalline halls comes to your lips.
> At first as only a soft hum, but then more as some lyrics begin to return.
> A warmth begins to flood your heart, but also a pain.
> The last time this had been sung, there had been another at your side too.
> You can almost feel Shining's presence there with you.

>>30880817

> Hear his soft if occasionally off-tune singing, feel his warmth beside you, smell his scent - the strong tones of a stallion, but also the slightest hint of oil and steel.
> Even so, the song only falters once:
> When Anonymous begins to brush your own mane.
> Only a momentary pause though, and soon you resume - your own eyelids growing heavy as the brushing sends fresh, tingling sensations through your scalp.
> At a certain point you realize you have begun to run on instinct alone:
> Humming wordlesssly as you brushed your daughter long after she had fallen asleep, as Anonymous had kept doing the same to you.
> Setting the brush down, you gather your daughter in against your chest and lower your head to rest across her back, nickering gently at the soft touch.
> "If all of you out there are done eavesdropping-"
> Anonymous' tone is laden with amusement.
> "-perhaps it's time to get back to work?"
> For a second you are confused, until a sudden fading of scampering hooves is heard outside the door.
> Instantly you rear back up, flushing hard.
"They - they heard me-"
> "Oh, don't worry. You sing well."
> Still flushing, you scrunch furiously but it's an empty gesture.
"Apparently I am also a fantastic actor, if none of them saw how close I came to madness..."
> "You are. After all, you fooled me too right up until I decided to get directly involved with everything. Though, I hope you see now -"
> Reaching forward, he places a hand on Flurry's side as well.
> "-you aren't failing."
"If you do actually want me to hate you, using my own daughter against me is a very good start."
> He responds with a cocked, questioning eyebrow and you sigh heavily.
"But your point is made. I was... a foalish pony."
> "Extremely."
> Another pause, and then:

>>30880823

> "Cadance... don't ever do that to me again. Remember that when it comes to a lot of this, you are my guide. If you fail, I'm left flailing about blindly... and I don't always make the best choices. I know how to plan, how to manage, and how to enforce. I'm still learning how to lead."
> Then what right, you wonder, does he have to hold you as his chattel?
> But those words remain safely behind your lips, unsaid.
> Instead, you change the topic:
> Glancing down at the filly still asleep in your hooves, you sigh softly.
"I suppose she will have to go back soon..."
> "For today, yes. But there'll be more chances later on, and..."
> Pausing to consider, Anonymous suddenly nods decisively.
> "Another night, she - and Megan - can stay up here as well."
"I..."
> You glance back at your hooves - weighing the desire of seeing your daughter for longer against the cost of yet another seeing you in chains, collar, and bridle.
> In the end, though, it is really no contest.
"I would like that very much, if she could."
> "I'll arrange it."
> Nickering and brushing her back with the tip of your muzzle one last time, you lift Flurry up to Anonymous.
> He vanishes through the doors with her, but returns before too long.
> In that time, though, you've come to another decision.
"I can't go back out right now. Not just because of this-"
> You raise a hoof to indicate the shackle still locked around it, and by extension the bridle and collar.
"-but I'm too weak right now."
> "I know. You'll stay the night."
"Thank y-"
> "Longer than a night, actually. Cadance, I'm taking you off leadership duty for a while."
"What?!"
> Stirred by your outburst, Flurry Heart shifts against your chest.
> Waiting until she is still again, you hiss in a softer voice:
"You can't take me away from them-"
> "I can and I will, Cadance. If I send you right back out there, you'll be liable to crack again. And like I just said, I can't have that."
"Then who will lead them?"

>>30880830

> "You said it yourself - things are more stable at the moment; Mayor Mare can manage some, and I will learn as well. I might even consult you, but you need time without stress."
"No convincing you otherwise, I sense."
> "Cadance, I will shackle you to the God-damn bed if that's what it takes to keep you from burning yourself out."
> Your muzzle wrinkles again.
"...let us avoid that, please."
> "Agreed. Besides, Flurry needs flying lessons once your strength returns and there are other matters at hand..."

Section for this arc, and then we move on! Unortunately, this once again means that there's no major choice here; the next bit will shift to a different character and give us a chance to move our perspective back to the camp. Feedback both in general and on the handling of this arc is, of course, appreciated.

>>30880844
Just a quick comment before bigger commentary (Because boy I have a lot)

>> Nickering and brushing her back with the tip of your muzzle one last time, you lift Flurry up to Anonymous.
> He vanishes through the doors with her, but returns before too long.
This line seems to indicate that Cadance gave Flurry back to Anonymous to return to her/Megan's room? but then this line

>"What?!"
> Stirred by your outburst, Flurry Heart shifts against your chest.
> Waiting until she is still again, you hiss in a softer voice:
This line seems to imply she is still resting on Cadance's hooves. Was there a mistake in here or am misreading?

>>30880928
Motherfucker. This is the result of a last-second rewrite which had some stuff moved around. I thought I'd fixed all of that, I guess not. Your are correct - he left the room with her earlier.

>>30881026
AH, I see. Personally would have gone for letting her hold on to Flurry for as long as possible, the brief minutes she gets to spare with her daughter only to need to have her taken away or herself removed is weighing on heavily with this latest trauma. But, I guess the original punishment is still in effect or either Anonymous/Cadance/both see the negative effect in letting Flurry see her mother in chains like this (though, if I may also ask: is there a reason he didn't remove them before she took a shower, is it strictly because of this latest punishment insisting they stay on until Anonymous feels he and Cadance are clear?)

>>30880783
>> How dare he use your daughter against you like this?

Candance has to fix her Ego problems, the world does not revolve around her damnit!

>>30880803
>> He was... forceful, but not harsh.
>> Not rough.
this is lewd as fuck onii-chan. I love it.

>>30880844
So she's anon's personal cuddle mare for the next week right? right?

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Can someone spoiler me the slaveventure main thing? Cannot decide what to read next and have only this much free time. It looks like that santa-barbara is never going to end, but dudes seem to read it and I want to know.

>>30881377
Like, a few sentence general descriotion or a loose summary of everything that's happened in the story up to this point?

>>30881584
Something in between. Wtf is going on and where it is, and who's the center of attention last 2-3 posts. I hear about Cadence much, is she main slave character?

>>30880777
Fuck I'm giddy. I've been waiting all week for this update.

>Cadance's response
Perfectly IC I think to have her being more or less incapable of explaining this to her daughter. Her desire to see herself punished as retribution for her failures, as well as what appears to be some innate desire to go back to the way things were between her and Anon when it were simpler (didn't read into this particular part myself, though it makes sense). I loved when she leaped up into her mothers neck to hug her while Cadance herself was incapable of moving a muscle to return the favor.

Her anger at Anonymous is certainly understandable too. As brought up specifically this isn't the first time he's worked to destroy Cadance's image in front of her daughter, and now she's actually forced to admit she's been a bad pony. It must be incredibly degrading, even if she weren't forced into chains/collar/bridle in front of her, I can't imagine what effect that might have later. I think hitting her with Flurry was appropriate to truly send the message home, but maybe it wouldn't have hurt to at least wait until she was out of those. I can understand striking while the iron is hot though.

>The bath scene
I'm still a bit perplexed as to why she had to keep on chains/collar for this, it seems like that would make it a clear safety hazard especially given her weakened limbs. Though it did at least lead to a heart-felt scene of Anon showing his more caring sign for Cadance. If not everything else in this segment hasn't been evidence enough, scrubbing her down carefully and brushing her hair was a clear indicator he wants to be more than just a Master to her (which I still imagine is how she'll see their relationship so long as he holds her in chains)
(1/2)

>>30881700
>>30880844
>Ending
Again wish we could have let Cadance keep Flurry for a bit longer, maybe even nap with her, but what we got was adorable between brushing her hair and singing to her. Just, again, I hope it was worth it all despite still being chained up in front of her. I wonder if Flurry still feels more comfortable in Anon's lap than she does in her mother's, that I hope they get into a bit when she finally has more time to spend with her properly.

Also, could see the ending coming with Anon insisting Cadance take a few days off even if he has to chain her down, she's had it coming for a while to finally relieve some stress. I'm curious to see what Thunderlane / Anon get up to in the meanwhile but I hope we get to come back to Cadance during some of that free time as well to see what she does with it.

>>30880604

Cheers for the feedback. Yup, you guessed it. There is a reason. However, my aim with this story is to let things unfold naturally on their own. To show and not to tell, even if it keeps the reader guessing at some things. It shows I still have a ways to go if its still a bit murky atm.

I can definitely see what you mean by bouncing back and forth too much. This was a more creative decision on my end to drop the realism level a tiny bit for the sake of writing a more engaging story. I feel that 6000 words of more feral drugged up Celestia with no dialogue interaction would have been boring, or even monotonous if you will. Thanks for the input, and I'll definitely take those points into consideration.

>>30881985
>However, my aim with this story is to let things unfold naturally on their own.
Nah, that's fine. "Show, don't tell" is a very good lesson in writing and I'm glad that you're going with it.

>I feel that 6000 words of more feral drugged up Celestia with no dialogue interaction would have been boring, or even monotonous if you will.
This is... trickier. I see what you mean, and it's not easy to communicate with one of the characters being non-verbal. It demands a lot of focus on body language and behavior, plus nonverbal sounds where you can fit them in. If you feel up to it, I might suggest playing around with this a bit more - perhaps having her speak, but not always coherently and showing a bit more of her broken/"trained" behavior. Then again, given that she's advanced this far already, reverting back might also be jarring at this point. Maybe something to revisit when you get around to having her detoxed.

>>30881377
Story centers on Cadence and Thunderlane as slaves, and Anon as the owner.

Anon is a millionaire that used most of his funds to set up a work camp next to his mansion, and the workforce of ~1000 ponies. His idea is that it was retarded to have them in shackles and magic suppressors and doing manual labor only. Instead, he could make use of their special talents whenever possible to take advantage of their inherent skill in some things, produce unique items for market, and use manual labor as a last resort. Chef ponies are all cooks, pegasi are making cloud-stuffing for pillows, unicorns are putting simple enchantments that repel mosquitoes, etc etc. Anon still treats them like slaves, but life in this camp is far better than other workcamps would ever be.

Cadence was bought to be the manager of the camp. A pony they would naturally look up to and obey. Anon wants ponies to mostly govern themselves. Both to make them feel a little closer to their old way of life and thus remain complacent, and so they'd be less likely to rebel against their ownership. She's doing fairly well in that respect, but she's being forced into a role that she thinks she isn't prepared for and keeps comparing herself to Celestia, and all she sees is her own failure. Hence the last few updates.

Thunderlane cares about the camp staying safe and secure, of course, but mostly he's worried about his little brother, Rumble. To keep Rumble safe and to give him as best life as he can, Thunderlane is willingly giving up his moral fiber by working much closer with Anon than he's required to, and is torn about relinquishing his horse-humanity in his role as (essentially) a traitor to all ponykind.

Now filter that description through a multi-month CYOA, tons of discussion between updates, a LOT of emotional conflict, gray morality, and character development.

>>30882179
Pretty accurate, yeah. For a loose roundup of some of the more major character arcs:
>Story begins with Cadance pulling off a decently-sized escape attempt, after which Anonymous reveals he has managed to buy Flurry Heart and basically strongarms Cadance into cooperating with him to keep her safe
>They've all had to deal with various problems since:
>Rebel groups in the camp, ranging from quietly planning a future escape contingency to vandalism to violence like beating up Anonymous' personal maid
>Last one turned into a shitshow where even the other rebels were turning over the more violent ones.
>Two of the ponies responsible got sold off to bad place, one committed suicide to avoid it, and one turned on the others and got sold off to an owner known to be decent
>Anonymous trying to bring in outside investors, who sent someone (Randall) to oversee things. Randall had a pony assistant too (Haute Glamour) who turned out to be a conniving cunt and tried to overthrow us
>Thunderlane trying to balance protecting the camp's ponies from abuse and enforcing Anonymous' rules, while protecting Rumble from getting mixed up in rebellion himself
>Cadance is struggling to deal with her primary task turning from opposing Anonymous to actually having to work on his behalf and punish ponies, even when they don't always deserve it

>>30870026
Did I go overboard with this or was it just a missed update?

>>30880844
Lots to do on the one hand Anon should visit back to Mocha to check their status and whether it can be served in the mansion, talk to Randall and investment partners for the purpose of getting them more favorable terms for your project, I'm pretty sure they wanted Anon failed to wrest the entire operation and that more than one will now be furious that Anon was freed of all charges of abuse and murder by researchers and small plot Hautte Glamor has been discovered. Know that it would be funny? To anon acquire a Hautte but had it working in the new field, under the authority and supervision of his former victims ponies, with a magic limiter and a muzzle for anyone to hear more of his lies, working in the field as a donkey and forced to pay for the money spent in buying

Now Anon must return to campaign and inform both the administrative and security personnel of the temporary absence of Candance of duty and in his absence everyone should do their part to keep the boat afloat, it must remain outside taking everything she handled daily, at the same time must confront the rebels ponies that could absence princess to promote conflict against authority, after a visit to the clinic to inform mellowheart thanks to her research was positive and offer increase supplies and perhaps expand the site and improve medical instruments.

And ultimately, look at the museum to ascertain the beneficial impact that this offers the pony community and perhaps pay a visit to Vapor Trail and asked about the status of your baby or Midnight in workshops and maintain a bittersweet encounter with the old rebel filly

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>>30882960
>Vapor Trail

More of sweetest mare plz

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Decided to just finish the chapter and then post what I got. Not sure why but here's a 30% increase in story length. Last update was end of chapter 4.

+++5+++

>”Well, I’ll be damned. You sure are a hell of a fast learner.” The Major scratched his head in confusion, dropping his clipboard on the table in front of him. “We’ve still got three days set aside for lessons, and you’ve already completed everything on the list, even the stretch goals.”
“It’s what I do best,” I replied, giving him and Chuck a playful grin.
>”Guess we gotta do more field exercises then, sir?” the stallion asked, hopeful to get out of the stuffy little office where classes had been held.
>”I suppose it’s our only option. There’s some decent training sites around here. I’m sure we can make something happen.”
>It had been a busy ten days. They’d crammed a truly enormous amount of information, from basic military tactics to first aid, weapons functions, and even some fresh pony-specific strategies Chuck had helped to develop in the field. But my infallible ability to absorb information won out again, and by the close of that tenth day I’d already finished every test and objective they’d been given.
>During that time, my initial impressions of the crew cemented. Wilcox, if anything, grew even more bitter with his situation as he fostered an acceptance for it. Jewel was chatty and kind, but quick to offend. Chuck was withdrawn, brash, yet still willing to partake in conversation and take part in our joint activities. Lopez continued to be quiet and kind, generally only speaking if something positive could come of his words. And Major Johnson was almost like a movie actor trying to play the role of a leader. But I’ll be damned if he wasn’t good at it.

>>30883820
>After re-reading my spellbook volumes twice over, I finally relented and asked Lopez if anything in our budget could be spared for entertainment. To my surprise, not only was there a specific budget for entertainment, but I’d been the only one thus far not to tap into it. And so, I rediscovered the internet, albeit in a much broader, far less censored form than I’d been prior accustomed to. Of course, it enraptured me in my spare time. Such quantities of information could not be matched even by the Royal Archives in Equestria.
>Briefly, I was amazed that so little restriction had been placed on us ponies. We were free to move about the facility, do as we pleased in our quarters, have contact with the outside world (under pseudonyms and anonymity, of course), and even take sick days. But those thoughts were quickly rationalized by the barriers, physical or otherwise, that prevented our leaving the compound. We may have been free to roam about our cell block, but we were prisoners nonetheless.
>But now, though, an opportunity had arisen where we might finally go somewhere and do something. Field exercise or not, I was eager for any opportunity to vacate the compound. Apparently, the change of scenery had allowed me to go restless and inquisitive of the world once more. I considered it a sign of my old self returning.
>”If we did that, though,” the commander mulled, “we’d have to bring everyone with us. Think we can afford to leave the place empty for a few days?”
“I think the others are pretty much done with their tasks,” I said, likely echoing the others’ thoughts.
>”Maybe see how the team does in the field, eh?” he asked rhetorically, clapping his hands together. “If I can’t get something in at Camp Navajo or something, I’ve got about a hundred acres of desert an hour southeast. We can go out there and tool around a bit.”

>>30883827
>”Anything to get out of here,” Chuck mumbled.
>”I agree. Twilight, Chuck, tell the others we’re heading out tomorrow morning. Not too early, maybe eleven hundred hours, but they’ll want to pack some overnight gear.”
>He soon dismissed us, leaving us free to mull over and distribute the news. It was more of a time-kill than anything else, but perhaps some valuable insights could be had from the experience. Regardless, it would doubtless be exciting to once again truly be out in the open, away from the restricting confines of walls and fences. A bit of relatively unrestricted flight would also probably do the old bones some good.
>Any pegasus would struggle to maintain physique in my confines. In the research facility, I was, until the end of my tenure, denied regular exercise opportunities. But I am no ordinary pegasus. Alicorn magic is not bestowed lightly – those touched by it remain eternally youthful and healthy, in addition to great power politically and magically. My muscles remained firm, my flanks maintained thinness, and my body kept free of disease. It would take serious effort to kill me, and no wound short of that would hold forever. Alicorns had died in times past, sure. It simply did not happen often.
>But evidently, I’d not been entirely spared from injury at the hands of humanity, if my mental state was any proper indicator. Those ten days had been difficult at times, as the colors of the world returned to my eyes and I could once again feel the broad range of emotions so generously bestowed upon ponies of all sorts. Perhaps it was the stress of self-consciousness of this fact, or perhaps simply stress from the emotions themselves, but nevertheless my sudden breakdown repeated itself twice over in that ten-day period. Thankfully, I was alone during both occurrences, and I doubt my companions thought me any worse because of them.

>>30883830
>Reactions to our trip varied per person and pony. Wilcox, as usual, responded cynically: “Old bastard probably just wants an excuse to go out on his land and shoot government ammo.” Jewel and Lopez were pleased, and seemed to want a chance to stretch their legs just as much as I did.
>Wilcox’s judgement of the commander’s motivations may, in reality, have been somewhere close to the truth of the matter. It wasn’t long before the commander reappeared to us to inform us of our destination: his private tract of land, roughly an hour south of the city and another half-hour along rural roads. There would be neither shelter nor shade, the undeveloped desert being as it is, and thus we would each have to bring our own shelter. Ultimately, all but Jewel and I opted to forgo a tent in favor of a simple one-man sunshade. But neither of us intended to sleep in those confining, heat-trapping houses of plastic. They would merely function for a bit of privacy and storage in the company of a majority-male delegation.
>Dinner that night was had together, and it was decidedly livelier than I’d grown accustomed to. We’d only been here for a week and a half, yet only Lopez had spent more than a few hours beyond the outer fence. The Major vowed to schedule more time for off-site pursuits, recreational or otherwise.
>Sleep came equally easily for me. No screens or spellbooks would wrap themselves around my mind that night: instead, I headed straight for my sheets, eager to enjoy them for the last time in several days. Even the typical troubles in my dreams were replaced by decidedly happier, more hopeful predictions of my prospects on this little excursion.

>>30883843
>The morning carried with it ample time for hygiene, packing, and preparation. With little else to do, I simply killed time until our late-morning set-out time. I briefly considered requesting to fly alongside the vehicle once we left the city, but reasoned it was probably best not to push my boundaries. I’d likely have ample opportunity to stretch my wings once we arrived at our destination.
>Even at our vehicle’s relatively fast pace, the city’s size proved as unnavigable as it was intimidating. It took over an hour to reach the end of the city, the highway finally opening up onto flat, wide desert interrupted at various points by ancient, long-dead volcanoes. The plant life was ample, yet provided no measurable shade from the sun. Cacti and brush did a poor job at providing respite from that soulless, magicless source of heat.
>Roughly three hours after we set out, our heavily-laden truck finally arrived at the end of the road. There was nothing to set the property apart from the surrounding landscape but a slight widening of the dirt path, forming a makeshift parking space. The land was almost entirely flat, save for a small mountain to the west of our entry point. That would be our campsite, the major announced, and we each prepared our packs for the hike over.
>What would otherwise have been a rather difficult journey in the midday heat was considerably bettered by my spellwork. Quick weight-reduction spells eliminated any strain from our packs, a simple magic cloud overhead provided comfortable shade, and a heat absorption sphere above each of us helped keep us cool. Harsh desert climes had turned to arid but temperate steppe around us by my horn.

>>30883851
>We arrived at our campsite as the sun was starting to set. It wasn’t a difficult site to spot: it had serviced one group or another quite a few times, as evidenced by its large, charcoal-black bonfire pit and smattering of broken glass bottles. We quickly set up our tents and tarps to face perpendicular to its still-bright rays, and set to reigniting the firepit, albeit in a smaller form.
>It had been a long time since I’d had proper campfire food, and I was excited for the chance at such a meal. The humans opted to cook tubes of heavily-processed meat affectionately dubbed “hot dogs” over the open flame, while the rest of us subsisted that night almost entirely on marshmallows and chocolate. While it may not have been the healthiest meal, I was a happy mare for its gooey deliciousness.
“It’s been so long since I’ve had a proper camping expedition,” I commented contentedly, not bothering to wipe the chocolate smudges from my face. “Even in Equestria, I didn’t get the chance too often. I’m glad we did this.”
>”S’mores are better than MRE’s,” Chuck muttered in agreement.
>”Don’t get too attached to them,” Lopez chuckled. “You three have already worn through pretty much all we have. We’re probably looking at MRE’s for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”
>”Aren’t you the supply guy?” Wilcox asked, jesting. “The hell, man? We’re out of dogs, too.”
>”I’m sure you’d love nothing more than to stuff your face with weiners,” Lopez responded, prompting the man to roll his eyes in exasperation. “But hey, it’s my job to make sure we’re not shitting bricks tomorrow, too. MRE’s at least have some balance in ‘em.”
>”Bullshit, you always trade for desserts.”
>”Hey, it’s still better than hot dogs!”

>>30883856
“You know,” I said, slyly, “I could always just transmutate us up some meals. I mean, it’s a bit hard to turn rocks into a well-balanced breakfast, but not too much trouble for the world’s greatest spellcaster.”
>”You can do that?” the Major asked, eagerness building in his eyes as it does for a child entering a candy store.
“Just tell me what you want, I’ll make it happen,” I challenged, encouraged both by the will to please and the desire to show off.
>”Here,” Wilcox said, tossing a rock in front of him. “Make me a banana split, chocolate fudge if you can manage.”
>A tough request, to be sure, and virtually impossible for any unicorn of average magical ability. Yet I just grinned, charged my horn, and took aim at the rock. In a bright purple flash, it changed, shifting into a delicious dairy dessert. In addition, not only did it have his fudge, but also a dusting of rainbow sprinkles.
>”I…” the man said, taken aback. “I didn’t think it’d be that easy. Thanks, I guess,” he said, sheepishly taking a bite. Of course, once this little display finished, everyone else tossed a rock and a request of their own in, and soon I’d prepared a custom line of desserts to finish off our already-unhealth main courses. I could’ve run the Cakes out of business if I’d tried.

>>30883862
>Thankfully, the exertion from our hike counteracted the extraordinary quantities of sugar we’d consumed, and sleep came relatively easily. It did not come for long, however, as the Major woke us well before dawn to get a head start on the day’s activities. We had a quick, small breakfast mainly consisting of nutrition bars, did some light stretching, and promptly headed off to a relatively cactus-free stretch of desert to conduct exercises. The pre-dawn air was cool, soothingly so, and the scrub took on an entirely new appearance with the faint purple and blue glows of unicorn magic illuminating our immediate surroundings. Aside from our footsteps, some cricket chirps, and a few hoots from an owl, scarcely a word broke the fine silence that had settled in that morning.
>With only an hour of darkness left, we didn’t have much time to practice night exercises. Nevertheless, valuable insights were gained from our strategizing. Here, magic proved especially essential, as it provided sight into dark spaces that our eyes failed to discern. Further, the need for electric lighting was almost wholly avoided thanks to diverse and powerful illumination spells. Though of course, the signature glow of magical auras would surely alert any mindful guards, so contingencies for such situations were discussed in equal measure. When the dawn finally broke, we decided to continue our exercises that evening, after sunset.
>With the sunlight finally came my first true chance to stretch my wings. Although I’d not voiced any complaint at being unable to fly, I suspect my companions had all suspected my discomfort at remaining close to the ground for such an extended period. While my urge to fly was never nearly on the level of one such as Rainbow Dash, it had certainly become a near-overriding instinct after such a long period of denial. So, with the commander’s blessing, I took flight.

>>30883868
>It was no small relief to not stop at ten, twenty, thirty feet, and instead reach up for the clouds. To my significant disappointment, the clouds in this world were of a significantly different build than those in Equestria, lacking any solidity at all. They were merely wisps of fog collected high in the air. So, lacking a comfortable cloud perch, I instead elected to gaze upon my surroundings from a hover.
>The desert stretched for as far as the eye could see, which was no small distance thanks to the dry, lifeless air. Far off, the jarring gray lines of the interstate were visible, small dots of color breaking its monochrome appearance as travelers slowly crossed the distance from Phoenix to Tucson. I was careful not to stray too far from the group, and certainly not outside the boundaries of the Major’s land. For all I knew, there could have been some very punitive laws governing pegasus flights over private property.
>Reluctantly, I descended once more before I could be missed. While I’d been allowed free reign in the skies above, the others had taken a break, sitting and laughing at inconsequential small-talk. With me present once more, they began the next round of training exercises.
>Our line of missions was highly liable to include some number of civilians, Equestrian or otherwise. Thus, the Major was anxious to ensure we’d be prepared to deal with a variety of situations. Using himself and one of the well-trained human soldiers as civilians, he set up a variety of hostage and casualty scenarios. For the most part, it was mere review and application of concepts I’d been taught days prior, but being able to enact such strategies and correct imperfections was invaluable.

>>30883871
>This variety of exercises persisted for hours, until the sun was past its meridian and our bellies rumbled for sustenance. The Major insisted on unaltered MRE’s, claiming their nutritional value to be more important than any taste modifications I could provide. Reluctantly, we dug into meals decidedly less enjoyable than those from the night prior.
>After lunch, a new round of activities was laid out. These were aimed at identifying where magic and flight could most effectively enhance teamwork and potential. The ability to climb skyward of course proved indispensable for reconnaissance and target identification purposes, but also became apparent as an easy and effective casualty and hostage movement technique when coupled with my magic. Jewel was also somewhat skilled in magical application, although far less studied and powerful than I. The humans seemed content to relegate her to a support role, working with simple spells in stressful or urgent situations. The final unicorn in our lineup, Chuck, was unfortunately less well-endowed in magical ability, and could provide little more than simple levitation as assistance. Still, this assisted him greatly in no small number of tasks, even sometimes giving him an edge over his fingered counterparts.

>>30883876
>Not eager to tire us too much before resuming low-light training after dusk, the Major instead gave us a few hours to rest and relax before our meal. While the others napped and chatted, I took the time to continue studying my spellbooks and look for further real-world applications of their contents. So many new spells had been created in these tomes alone that I could find ample combinations, enchantments, and casting methods entirely unknown to even Equestria’s greatest scholars thanks to an impossibly-expanded base of magical knowledge. The relentless machine of capitalistic profit-seeking seemed inexhaustible in its ability to make the most of Earth’s newest source of labor, and I was at least thankful for its ability to succeed where traditional scholasticism and spell-creation research had failed.
>Of particular use was a trap of sorts I created. Combining two spells into one broadly-applying enchantment, virtually any object could be imbued with spells in mere seconds. Traps that would normally require lengthy periods of rune-etching and enchanting were reduced to mere trivialities. More, the applicable spells were of a wide variety, and everything from simple confusion and binding hexes to decidedly more lethal incantations were at my disposal.
>These traps were demonstrated at dinnertime, solidly impressing even the ever-cynical Wilcox. While complex, the spells required little inherent magical strength, and so it was decided that time would be taken to teach the technique to both Chuck and Jewel. But that would have to wait for tomorrow, as dinner was rapidly approaching and we had other plans for the night.

>>30883882
>This time, the Major allowed me a bit more freedom to modify our meals. Instead of the trading and discarding that typically occurred with MRE’s, undesirable items were simply transmutated into something more palatable. It did please me so to hear their praise and thanks as putrid packages of preserved potatoes promptly became properly prepared puddings and desserts. Horrific alliterations aside, dinner satisfied, but was soon but a distant memory as our attention shifted to resumed nighttime training.
>Although our magic could do a great deal in total darkness, only enchantments failed to produce the glowing, highly visible auras inherent in our abilities. Thus, we focused on using gear and enchantments alone, for times when the glow of magic could wholly compromise our mission. Here we found an excellent confluence of cutting-edge technology and far older magical skills. Inexplicably expensive night-vision goggles allowed us to see distinct heat outlines of virtually everything in the desert, living or not. Sound amplifiers, imbued with the latest advances in humanity’s pre-packaged magic technology, allowed us to detect every minute whisper around us and pinpoint the location of each. And, finally, the remarkable heads-up displays conveyed an extraordinary breadth of information at all times, each individual’s device custom-tailored to specific roles, abilities, and responsibilities. Mine, predictably, focused around enchantments and passive spells.
>After a long day, we were thankfully allowed a generous period of respite. Wake-up and breakfast the next morning was late, and spirits were high after days of successful activities and entertainment. Even Wilcox seemed ready to break from his brittle shell, laughing and conversing even with the ponies.

>>30883888
>All that remained on our itinerary were several team-building exercises, which proved decidedly less effective than the prior bouts of training. Whether it was Wilcox’s abrasiveness, Chuck’s unusual discomfort, or my own struggles with consensus, clear issues seemed to develop between individuals or the entire team. Only Lopez escaped those exercises with a seal of approval from the Major, quiet but capable as always.
>Without stopping for lunch, we broke camp and hiked back to the waiting vehicle. Soon enough, we were back on the highway, travelling back to our little facility outside the city. We passed once more through its urban areas, and these once again seemed imposing compared to the unremarkable desert I’d been inundated in for the past several days. I wanted nothing more than to stretch my wings again and soar above the cityscape, reduce its influence on my psyche. But that would have to wait for another time.
>Once we’d safely arrived back home, we quickly stowed our gear and went to bathe. Magic could clean a unicorn’s coat to some degree, but there were some functions of running water that simply could not be emulated. Luckily, the female latrine had two showers, so Jewel and I each got to wash immediately. Our male counterparts, cursed by a the same number of stalls for twice the people, could be heard arguing loudly from across the hall. I don’t imagine one even got the chance to start bathing by the time Jewel and I had finished.

>>30883891
>Regardless, all of us save for the commander were soon present and ready for duty. That is to say, we were lazily gathered around the television, watching mundane cartoons and sitcoms. But the missing officer soon made his presence known, a stack of papers in hand. “Men, ponies, whatever else we got,” he called out from the edge of the room. “Turn that off. We got business to attend to.”
>”Oh boy, more paperwork?” Wilcox asked wearily, producing a pen from his sleeve.
>”No, numbskull,” the officer replied, batting him lightly on the head with the stack of papers. “We just got our first mission.”

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>>30883898
End update. Sorry for putting like three updates into one, but whatever. It happened. That's all of chapter 5 in one go. Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/6iL2wQNc

Do be on the lookout in this chapter and going forward for hidden foreshadowing, plot elements, character interactions, characterizations, and other concealed elements. I am taking the time to add them in intentionally, and there will be more than meets the eye at all times from now on.

Comments/concerns/feedback always appreciated. I read everything, even if I do not reply.

Some writing music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvlUOeW_9rY

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>>30883918

Biiig updates

>>30882225
I hate Lightning Dust and now she is even worse. Whatever makes her suffer more.

>>30882225
Just missed it.

I mean, we don't really have a choice here do we? Say yes, we go; say no, we get brainwashed and then go. May as well say yes, work on a chance to maybe turn the tables later.

>>30886762
Well I was wanting to know if I simmed it or went overboard with the backstory.

>>30883898
Thanks for the update! Shit I forgot to comment on the previous section so hope you don't mind if I do so now

>Jewel's background
It's good to here that despite while being used for weapons testings she did find some comrades among humans, I take it she has had better experience than Chuck. I can definitely attest to her analysis that humans, unlike ponies, are never really satisfied with what they have due to never being sure of what they're meant to do in life like ponies. I thought at first she had a negative view of Earth like Chuck at first, and maybe she still does, but she does seem more optimistic than him at least concerning the state of ponies. Though given they already determined of the 75~ million ponies stuck here, less than a third of them being in households (and thus the majority stuck in camps), I think that must just be wishful thinking that 'most' of them are okay-off.

>Twilight's reaction to Starlight/AJ
Very heart-wrenching again to see her realize that not only are her friends still alive, being made aware that she can do nothing to contact them by order of the government. I can't imagine she'll obey that mandate for too long and i'm eager to see what she thinks of her friends who have given themselves entirely over to their owner. Though a thing you mentioned in this last one: is Twilight allowed to reach out to them with an alias? Did Twilight reach out to anyone like Chuck or Jewel did?

>Training
The training / team-building excercise was pretty cool though I don't get that the team has come much closer together as a result, other than realizing Twilight makes a decent mobile snack machine (is there limits to what she can pop up? Does it actually taste good given Twilight herself is no chef?) I imagine the ponies will get along well enough but I'm still getting a wild card vibe from Chuck. The Major is my favorite of the humans because of how you described him trying his best to play a sergeant/leader from a movie.

>>30883876
>He doesn't like MRE's
Pleb anon.

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>All this Celstia content

aww yiss

But there is something that needs adressing...

If she was to become a slave, wouldn't she be more down?
I imagine her her being much more emotionally fucked up.
Blaming herself as a failure who could neither safe her race nor her sister.

something like this:

>>30880844
>Don't make Master hurt you again!
Ouch. It has to hurt enough realizing you were esentially strong arming Anon into punishing you FOR you, but to hear your daughter ask it on his behalf has to be doubly painful.

I realize Anon only meant to drive home his point, but, not only is it more evidence that she may hold more affection for her savior than her own mother but she has to worry about how else Anon might use her daughter to get through to her... and when it may be for something less noble.

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>>30888051
>Be Raganon the comfy, drinker of beer.
>Two hours prior known as Officeanon the pissed.
>Is it really so damn fucking hard to use google to fix your own fucking problems?
>But nooooooo, lets just bother Anon!
>The TV shows some stupid fucks doing stupid things and next to it there is some giant white ass.
>Attached to the gigantic ass is your slave.
>Honestly that is what they are despite any fancy words.
>She is cleaning the shelves while you watch TV.
>The way this distracts you is only because the show is so shit.
>R-right?
>It was by the luck of straw that you came to encouter her.
>A perfect slave...
>She is obedient, nice and is eager to please. She never doubts you or complains.
>Not that you would ask for anything hard to do...
>But something is wrong.
>She doesn't ask for much, in fact there were only two things she ever asked of you.
>Clothes for her cleaning duty so her coat would't get dirty while she performs her duties and stoping some asshole from beating his pony.
>You granted both.
>Anonymous the kind!
>No matter what you do she accepts it.
>But the way she looks sometimes...
>You should be happy but every time you look at her your mood goes down the drain.
>She always smiles when you speak to her.
>Her smile is fake.
>Not just the "I am happy to see you too, coworker"-type of smile that you perfected over the years.
>Her smile is...
>It is hollow.
>Like some emotionless robot pulling strings that are connected to the musces of her face.
>And she talks in her sleep.
>She appologizes in her sleep.
>She cries in her sleep.
>When you asked her why she is so damn fine with her position all she said was "I deserve this."
>The only time you can see some genuine emotion on her face is when there are news about ponies that are mistreated.
>You take another sip from your beer as...

>>30887080
>simmed it
Nah. Didn't get that impression at all.

>went overboard on the backstory
I mean, I don't think it's too grimdark. There was a war after all.

But it's certainly not making me like her more either. Lightning has a lot to answer for, and despite all the shit she's experiencing I can't entirely feel sympathetic to her after discovering that bit of her past.

>>30888041
>"let's get this out onto a tray"
>nice

>>30888328
That's what I was wanting then.
I didn't want it to be apity the slave story, nor an irredeemable monster.
I was aiming for Dust to be something of a monster, an in character spiteful one, who is more just wanting to forget she did it.
That was not fun talking with people to get the rough idea of it.
But I think it was good for them.

>>30888056
>you're doing it wrong
>celestia should be more down
>writes green from someone other than her perspective
no you're doing it wrong.

But I agree, Celestia in canon is shit, because emotionally speaking her character arc is about as made use of as trixie's was before season 6. A lonely schizo horse queen who's machinations are to entirely put her sister by her side again but even she knows that she doesn't deserve it, when twilight is sent away she probably imagines that they will cure NMM of her hate, but celestia will stay banished, because that is what she deserves for failing her sister. the progress between her reconciliation aborted by the staff and fausts need for the pilot to have a discernable ending, her student never to return and pick apart the manic white giant who plucks now the strings of fate more out of habit than purpose. the common fanon Night court never to make an appearance, and Luna to never even get a throne after 7 fucking seasons.

If we took the true celestia's personality and faced her with abject failure, there is probably no debasement she would not endure knowing she failed her sister twice. I imagine the ponies will be further losses, but some crack in her armor wont care with her sister to remember this torture forever.

>>30888056
I like this, it makes me sad

>>30888733

This version of the story is real?

Where can I get more information?

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>>30888056
but why

>>30854092
>According to the radio, the storm's actually getting worse instead of better.
>Of course, that's good news for you. Maybe you've still got some luck after all.
>Fortunately, he's not cruel enough to leave you tied up and bored for days. Either that or he got tired after two days of constant whining.
>"Arnold come on, my hooves hurt! Just for a few minutes? Please!"
>Eventually he caved and actually released the limbs. Who would have thought being able to kick your hoofsies would feel so great?
>You admit you blushed a little when he chuckles at your pleased trotting and stretching. Maybe if he spent almost four full days tied up he'd understand.
>Whatever.
>Sitting down instead of walking only left you with one thing to do, talk to him. You'd spent the past few days building something of a rapport with the human. You'd both grown a bit more comfortable around the other, as well as learned a few things.
>One thing you've picked up so far is that he actually does have morals, weird ones, but morals nonetheless.
>He's willing to steal ponies against their wills, but only because he genuinely believes they'll be happier and safer where he takes them. He also avoids unnecessary cruelty such as more painful restraints or using a 'real' gun.
>You were a bit confused about the 'real' part until he showed you. Needless to say you were terrified once he shot a few rocks to show you. Rocks! It blew up solid stone! How could anyone even think about using that on a living creature?!
>The first few shots of destructive power had you quivering in fear, the last one had you running in terror. Shame the prey side of your brain is an idiot, all you managed to do was fall over when you ran out of chain.
>"Whoa there sparky! You ok?"
>Not really!
>The primitive part of your brain is still screaming at you to hide, so you go to the only place you could reach, inside your sleeping bag.
>Yeah yeah, it's not really going to protect you, but it still feels a bit safer.

>>30889436
>"Hey, you don't have to hide, I promise."
>La la la la la, can't hear you.
>You continue to ignore him until something is pushed into the front of your sleeping bag.
>Crap, it's one of those tasty peaches. Where does he get these things? God they're so good, you can't stay mad or scared while eating one of these.
>You'll munch it, but you'll munch inside the sleeping bag... and with a frown!
>He's quiet while you polish off the fruit then throw out the pit.
>Huh no smart remarks yet, is he even still there?
>Reluctantly you pull back the top of the sleeping bag and peak out.
>Wat? The gun looks to be in several pieces all over the ground.
"Did it break?"
>"Welcome back. I just needed to clean it a bit, it'll go right back together. Didn't scare you too much did I?"
"I-It's just a bit... intimidating. You said people actually use those on ponies?"
>"Well, smaller caliber ones sometimes. Usually just for dangerous types."
"But you wouldn't ever...?"
>"Oh, no no. This one's just for hunting and protection. Like you said, there's lots of beasties out there even if this isn't the everfree."
"Hunting...?"
>"Sorry, hunting animals. You know the ones that can't talk."
"So you can... eat...?"
>Holy crap, you knew he was an omnivore in theory but how can he just casually chat about hunting and eating things!?
>"Every bit yeah. I try and avoid it when I've got guests though."
>Guests. Don't want the valuable prey panicking when they see your violently devour some other poor herbivore?
>"Just don't worry about it sheila. All you'd ever get is the tranq for a nice peaceful nap."
>He strides over to the post you're chained too and removes the lock. Uh oh, did you ask too many questions? Is he going to silence you now!? You'd half expected violence by now, but is this really it?!
>"What do you say to a walk? Been awhile since you've stretched those legs."
>Oh. A walk. That's less horrible than what you'd imagined.
>Can't be too easy though.

>>30889438
>Do you want to go on a walk? yes.
>Do you want to be seen as too compliant? No.
>"We'll go fishing how about that?"
>Fish is good... Fine, you crawl out of your sleeping bag and wait patiently for him to release you.
>This is the first time you've been unchained from the metal stake since your escape attempt. He clipped the other end to himself, but now you at least have a chance to overpower him. Is it worth the risk though? He said the gun was just for the 'dangerous types', a list you were glad you didn't yet occupy.
>No, you should just play it cool. Time is on your side, for now. Looking for opportunities is smarter than taking big risks when you don't have to.
>That said, it feels good to trot. He's a bit slow with his inferior number of legs but that just lets you take it easy.
>You recognize a few landmarks along the trail.
"Are we going to the stream?"
>"You bet."
"Why not the pond? I've seen much bigger fish there?"
>"Oh, is there? Lead the way then miss tour guide."
>Stupid human can't even navigate the stupid forest. How did you get caught by this fool?
>Your charge is reasonable excited at the fantastic pond you lead him to. It's cool you guess, good for a swim at least. You yourself just sit on the side and grab a drink.
>You take a few sips before you catch him watching you out of the corner of your eye.
"What?"
>"Nah, it's nothing."
>He looks around for a second as if taking the whole area in.
>"Do a lot of animals come here to drink?"
"It's more popular than the river. I've seen everything from deer to manticores here."
>"Hmm might be a good spot..."
"Spot for what?"
>"Nothing, don't worry about it. Why don't you just unwind a bit while I catch some dinner?"
>Since when has 'don't worry about it' ever been good advice?
>Good spot huh? What would he need a place for? Camping? Maybe, but he was interested in the animals...
>A glint of light draws your attention to the weapon on his back. Hold on a minute!

>>30889443
"Wait! You better not be planning on hurting anything!"
>"Hey relax. I'll do it when you're not here. I've got to eat too you know."
"You've been fine so far!"
>Truth be told you have no idea what his dietary needs are. It's pretty likely he does need meat but you also don't want deaths on your conscience.
>"Well for a little bit yeah but I can't live off veggies forever."
>The science part of your brain wants to argue that an omnivore should be able to do just that, but you really don't know enough. Not only do different omnivore's dietary requirements vary, but he's an alien to this world.
"What about fish? Isn't that enough?"
>"What, fish aren't alive too? Why are they less important?"
>Because they aren't quadrupeds you can identify with.
>You trot a few quick circles in frustration.
"I just don't want to be responsible for innocent deaths..."
>"It's nature sheila. Just think of it as the circle of life."
>Circle of 'gonna kick him into the lake'.
*Grumble grumble* "Don't like it."
>The monster has the gall to reach over and ruffle your mane!
>You pull as far out of his reach as you can, and attempt to fix the hair he messed up.
>"I'll try to keep it away from you alright?"
>You grumble some more and lay down in the grass. Meat eaters go away, herbivore master race.
"Stupid meat..."
>"Yeah, but it's tasty."
>You make an exaggerated gagging noise.
"Gross! Herbivore here! And prey species!"
>"Bah, you say that but you're the dominant species."
"Doesn't change some things..."
>The sensation of a hand between your shoulder blades makes you jump! How did he sneak up on you like that? Maybe you'd underestimated how stealthy something as large as him could be; he is a self proclaimed hunter after all.
>Either way you swing a hoof behind you to try and ward off the now scratching fingers. They don't actually feel that bad but still.
"No touch."
>The declaration isn't nearly as strong or commanding as you wanted.

>>30889449
>"Don't be like that now. You know I'm just trying to make it up to you."
"You can make it up to me by letting me go..."
>"You know I can do that that either. If I don't bring you they'll just send someone else, could be someone even meaner than me."
"Meaner than you? No way."
>"Hey, who went and got your favorite fruit without even being asked?"
>Ok yeah he did do that. You'd just mentioned peaches in passing then before you knew it he had fetched a dozen.
"I guess that was nice."
>A silent moment passes with his hand still scratching your back. It feels nice, maybe a bit physical contact will make him more sympathetic.
"So what happens to you after all this? Isn't Mr. big shot hunter going to be bored going back to normal animals?"
>"I've thought about that too. I don't really know what I'll do, what could compete with this?"
>He frowns a little as he casts the line back into the pond.
"Is there like a time limit? Like how long until they send someone else?"
>"I doubt they would unless I threw in the towel."
"I-I don't want to go in yet, and I don't think you want your best hunt ever to end either."
>"Well, I'll miss it that's for sure."
"You could, I mean we could do it again."
>He looks down at you and cocks an eyebrow.
>"Do it again? You want me to let you go."
>Well it sounds stupid when you put it that way.
"Why not? You caught me last time, don't think you could do it again?"
>"Oh I know I could but that's just not how this all works."
"But you said yourself there's no real time limit. We can't even get back to your people because of the weather so why rush? Just think of it as a game?"
>Is that a good laughter or a bad laughter?

>>30889453
>"First of all, I could catch you again with no problem."
>Hopefully your challenging smirk will goad him into a stupid decision.
>"Secondly, you've got a point-"
>You jump to your hooves in excitement! Is he going to do it!?
>"Those idiots said the dam might even break, so we've got all the time in the world. You want to play hide and seek?"
>He unclips the chain from your bridle and gives your flank a firm swat!
>"Let's play hide and seek!"
>If freedom wasn't good enough motivation the swat was! You bolt away from the pond just as fast as you can! Gotta run! Got to get away! He'll never catch you again!

>>30889459
Tiny update with a bit of improved snark. I expect snark + cute to continue to scale for the foreseeable future.

pastebin: https://pastebin.com/QzZ26eq9

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>>30889470
Hey Arnold!

Thoughts on a possible morally ambiguous anon. Who may rescue a pony from death, but will still expect slave type duties from her. Emphasis on manipulation, duality of Anon, and how to be a good slave owner?

>>30889531
That's most of the Anons here. Aspiring particularly, but even Vegas Arnold just now could fit.

>>30889470
Lovely update, Vega! You will have to answer what's wrong with her magic sometime. Can't our POV magical expert make some guesses and experiments? And how does he justify Twilight being so much safer in captivity on earth when she is already the 'dominant species' on her own home planet?

>>30889531
>good slave owner
Slaveventure. All the other Anons are really just hobbyists, he's a real businessman with thousands of profitable (and healthy and happy) units. Despite his mistakes he seems to be quite successful.

>>30889914
>and happy
Debatable

>>30889922
>debatable
TRIPLE DUBS confirm that ya it is. Let's bring Comet and Autumn back from the glue farm to help debate it! Being a 'good slave owner' means that his stocks happyness is one of the factors he cares about, but not the biggest one.

>>30889470
This was great Vega, need more! more cute play of cat and the mouse between Sheila and Mr. Hunter!

"I just don't know about her anymore."
>"Honey, getting a domestic assistant was your idea."
"I know that, and she does a fine job with the housework. I just don't like the way she acts around you."
>"I really don't know what to tell you. It's a tiny horse that that acts like a dog and does the laundry. How do you want it to act?"
"I'm telling you that thing is smarter than you realize. Have you not noticed she only snuggles up to you? Always has her backside turned towards you? Nothing swings it's hips that much naturally and even that's only around you."
>"You swing your hips."
"For you! Which is why I don't like her doing it!"
>"Can we just drop it for now? I'll try to be more sensitive to it acting weird, but you've got to cut the little thing some slack. It's just trying to fit into a new world."
"Trying to fit in a little too well..."
>"What?"
"Nothing, fine I'll try."
>You're starting to regret asking your husband, Anon, to buy you that little pony.
>Sure it was a help around the house, and oh so pretty, but that just might be the problem.
>You've seen where his eyes wander when the little homewrecker walks by.
>You just had to have the pretty one with her adorable little makeup.
>Too bad she's outside the return policy. Not that Anon would allow it, not his little 'couch buddy'.
>At first you didn't mind. She'd fetch him drinks or snacks when asked, make herself generally useful, no big deal. No big deal until you caught that smirk. That little shit eating smirk she gave you as your husband ran his fingers through her mane while she cuddled into his side.
>She knows what she's doing, you know that for sure.
>Is it stupid to be insecure about a horse stealing your man? A horse who's huge white ass is somehow always catching his eye. No, no it's not.
"Can we at least get her some clothes?"
>"Fem it's a horse, they don't wear clothes. Where do you even want to buy horse clothes?"
"If I can find something to cover her up with can I?"

>>30889986
>"If it bothers you that much then sure."
>Someone has to make clothes for these things or your name isn't femanon.

>Once back at your computer finding pony clothes takes no effort at all. You probably should be surprised, they make dog clothes so why not pony?
>Now where is that little hussy? You need her measurements.
>You check her room on the way to the living room, but of course she's not there.
>You pretty much know exactly where she is. Yep, curled up against Anon.
"Rarity come here, I need you for a moment."
>The little brat just turns to look at you and purse her lips.
>God you're going to beat this pony.
>She doesn't even pretend to make an effort until you snap your fingers and point at the ground in front of you.
>Of course, she has to rub her whole body up against Anon as she crawl off the couch...
>Just relax fem, it's only a horse.
"I need your measurements come here."
>She at least follows you back to your workroom and sits still for the tape measurer. She does look a bit confused, for not the first time you wished ponies could talk. They can understand humans well enough to follow simple tasks but horse vocal cords only allows for the typical neighs and whinnies.
>A lack of a voice doesn't prevent her from displaying her displeasure when you show her what you're planning on buying. Grossed out faces must be pretty universal.
"Well tough luck if you don't like it. You and I both know what you're trying to do here, so this is to cover this."
>You poke the indignant mare in the tri diamond mark on her ample flanks.
>The way she shakes her head and swats your finger away is funny.
"Like you have a choice sweetie."
>You grab both of her cheeks and use your most sugar sweet sing song voice.
"He's never going to look at you like that again when we're done playing dress up!"

>>30889994
>You relish in the scowl she gives you before yanking herself out of your grasp. If she could talk you're sure she'd be spitting venom at you, but the little skank has to settle for slapping you with her tail on the way out.
>The triumphant feelings are short lived when the white homewrecker makes a few lewd gestures on her way out. Ones that involve pointing down the hall at at your husband then lifting her tail and pointing at herself!
>That little bitch!

Rarity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>That little bitch!
>She thinks she can force you into those awful outfits?!
>She's right about one thing, he'll never look at you the same way if you're wearing trash bags like those!
>Perhaps you can purposely tear them then act like it was an accident. It's easy to convince him you're clumsy and innocent.
>Either way there's absolutely no way you can wear them, not after you've come this far to steal her man.
>Yes, steal her man. You aren't proud of it but this is the cost of survival for a pony like you.
>Oh how you wish you'd known he had a wife when he'd first come to pick you out! You'd tried so hard to seem alluring only to be brought home to her!
>He's perfect: handsome, easily manipulated, constantly underestimating you.
>She on the other hoof is the exact opposite of what you need: Sharp, cleaver, and jealous.
>As much as it pains you to admit you aren't a pony of exception skills. You aren't the strongest, or the most magical, what you are the is most appealing.
>One must play to one's strength and for you that's wiggling your way into men's beds and hearts. Too bad this one's bed is already occupied.
>Let it never be said that Rarity Belle stood down from a challenge.
>She may be onto you but he's already too wrapped around your hoof to take her concerns seriously.

>>30890007
>You've already achieved 'couch buddy' status, a position that offers plenty of initial physical contact to get him used to the feel on pony hide under his hands. All it takes from here is a wiggle here and a nudge there to get what you want.
>His eyes are already glued to your flanks on a regular basis. After all, what male could resist a derriere like this?
>You slink back into the living room. She's no doubt ordering you the most ghastly coverings she can find, so you must work fast.
>Ah perfect, his snacks have run dry. You take your time bending over the coffee table to grab the chip bag with your mouth. Take a good look big boy!
>Returning with a new bag earns you a thanks and a soothing neck rub. He doesn't even have to break his vision from the TV. There's simply no need, he's already used to putting his hands all over your supple body.
>A purr encourages him to continue as you crawl up on the couch.
>It's time to be bold. Instead of lying down beside him you wiggle yourself under his arm and right over his lap. It's intimate, and personal, and he doesn't miss a beat placing both hands on your body to continue the deep tissue massage.
>Oh Rarity you genius you!
>A little scooting around places one of his hands exactly where you want it, your bountiful backside. Oh my, that feels nice!
>Either he's not paying attention to what body part he's working so firmly, or he's more comfortable with you than you thought!
>It takes real effort to keep your body under control as his hands dig into you. You can't make a scene quite yet!
>You avoid losing yourself in the bliss long enough to hear footsteps approaching.

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>>30890012
>Oh my you should stop this before she sees... But, how you can't wait to see the look on her face!
>You decide to be naughty! A mare only lives once after all!
>Whatever she was going to say catches in her throat when she sees your devious grin over her husband's lap.
>Goodness she'll get an aneurysm!
>You decide to help her along by subtly lifting your rump so she can see exactly where his hand is working.
>She shit eating smirk probably doesn't help.
>"ANON!"

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>>30890021
Wow I'm stupid I forgot to put the title at the top. Anyway It's been too long since I got to write bratty/naughty rarity, so this is just a bit i threw together in the last hour. If there's interest I could add a bit more and yes she MIGHT be for spanking. probably is let's be honest

Title: Homewrecker
Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/4WLWT4eU

>>30890038
Dank.

>>30889986
New Story?

>>30890007
>he'll never look at you the same way if you're wearing trash bags like those!

It's okay! The husband is already fond of Rarity, so it's not like he's put off by trash.

Good shit though.

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>>30890038
You'll continue the main story and at the same time offer them. . ."Moments of life?"

OK for me

>>30890133
>>30890038
>>30890050
Oh forgot to mention this story is independant of my others. Completely ignore anything from 'staying out of trouble' it does not apply to this story.

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>>30890141
Again Vega, is Ok for me, is one good begin and hope read more

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>>30889255
Because not everybody likes Celestia.

>>30890444
But those people are faggots so who cares what they think?

>>30890475
You are just being silly right now. Why would EVERYBODY like a background pony who does nothing in the main plot?

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>>30890444
But why wouldn't someone like Celestia? She is kind, sweet and a benevolent ruler. There is nothing to dislike, unless you're a corrupt and evil piece of shit.

>>30890563
Because she is the opposite of what ruler should be, not just a no-good mentor. Her character is done poorly and there is little cute left in a sad old mare.

>>30890600
Damn those are some HOT opinions right there.

>Because she is the opposite of what ruler should be
>implications
Just because you're used to murderous dictators and corrupt cuntbags doesn't mean they should be the norm.

>>30890605
>>30890600
not everyone has to like the same characters.

>>30890605
Does not take one to be murderous dictator to do something more than eating cakes. Was she of any help in any major conflict? Is there a single duty of hers which is more than representative? Did she at least do something last 1000 years aside from spawning more alicorns? Inb4 muh sun moving

>>30890610
That's what I was trying to say

>>30890621
Just because she isn't constantly at the front lines doesn't mean she's useless. The president doesn't normally storm the beaches, senpai.

She's still ruling one of, if the the most powerful nation on the planet.

>>30890627
that doesn't mean everyone has to like her character. It's not a big deal if people don't enjoy every single character. That's just how opinions work.

>>30890640
Then stop making terrible excuses for hating her then.

Your opinion is still shit btw.

>>30890648
i'm not that other anon, I like celestia. I just don't get bent out of shape when other people feel differently.

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>>30890653
>bent out of shape

>>30890627
Closest thing we saw her doing to ruling a country was reading old ass scrolls by a campfire. I dont say this is bad when your subordinated can keep the government working without your involvement, but what else is she left to do besides cakes and citting ribbons? She does less than Elizabeth II and gets worshipped more than Kim Jon Un, and in my eyes this is strange. And her role in the plot is less than Snips and Snails have.

>>30890661
That's because it's a children's cartoon.
They're not going to have several episodes detailing court intrigue and the intricacies of ruling a nation and dealing in politics.

>>30890680
so you're just assuming she's a good leader then? I guess you can do that but it's just as unfounded as assuming she's an awful one.

>>30890661
What are you talking about? In the Crystal War timeline we saw her leading from the front, and Royal Problem showed that she still oversees court as well as dealing with many of the smaller details of ruling. And on top of that, we've also seen her dealing with foreign ambassadors and teaching classes at her magic school. Celestia is a very busy mare.

>>30890685
Why the fuck not? She's benevolently ruling over a peaceful and highly prosperous kingdom and all her subjects love her. Sure is a lot more evidence of her being a good leader than a bad one, famalam.

Are there any good stories with nothing big happening and just cuddles?

>>30890700
>all her subjects love he
That's because it's a children's cartoon.
They're not going to have several episodes detailing societal inequities or government protest.

>>30890680
Ah, yes, because 3+ rating forbids us from showing some paperwork or mentioning trade connections.

>>30890693
> to battle, my minions, while I'll eat some cake
> hello, my foreign dudes, have some cake and watch some fireworks
> Greetings, younglings. Congratulations with ending up in Academy. I'll go eat some cake while miss Teacher Butt teaches you magick, I may even show at exams if I manage to finish the cake by that time.

>>30890714
>>30890742
gee anons

kinda tough to show her doing her job when the writers never write an episode for her

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>>30890700
> ruling over a peaceful and highly prosperous kingdom and all her subjects love her
That's the joke

>>30890748
> s7, episode just about how they get through the daily tasks
> cakes, ribbons, photos for newspaper
Gee, lads.

>>30890703
Nothing but K-on and clear skies comes into mind

>>30890748
See >>30890714 >>30890680

It's like it goes both ways or something. You can't just assume shes a good leader but they don't have time to make episodes about it without assuming its possible shes a bad leader but they don't have time to make episodes about it.

>>30890765
You can generally assume a leader is at the very least somewhat good by the quality of life of the citizens and the fact she's still the leader. This isn't difficult to grasp.

>>30890742
Man, it's really easy to argue when you can just make bullshit up and handwave away everything she does, huh?

Just because she hasn't had an episode where she explicitly goes out and manages the kingdom doesn't mean that she doesn't do anything. There are multiple episodes that show Celestia doing busywork in the background, and even a couple where she explicitly does so in the foreground. How can you go 'oh, I wish she'd talk about trade connections' and then in the same post go 'oh, she doesn't really talk to those ambassadors or teach those classes, she just took them to a show and then ate cake.' It's nonsense.

I think your blind hatred for Celestia is causing you to be biased, and I'm not sure there's anything I can say to get past that, so I'm not going to argue with you, because there's no point.

>>30890773
>>30890776
You guys realize he's baiting you, right?

>>30890796
I like to assume the best of people, because sometimes people have been on 4chan so long that they can only communicate through shitposting but it's pretty clear I should just stop at this point.

>>30890776
>>30890773
Arguing about bullshit again when there's a green update and a whole new story in thread.

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>>30890776
> handwave away everything she does
If she did anything, that is. Easier to handwave nothing than anything, don't you agree?

Well then shouldn't you slow down a bit and stop giving your own headcanon as official canon? All we see is cakes and this is not enough to earn _everyone's_ sympathy.

> It's nonsense
It's all we see in episodes. Not my fault.

> blind hatred
> your opinion is not like mine so it is shit
You're literally implying things that are unconfirmed even by sideway details. If I don't share your adoration for background character that doesn't mean I hate it, that just means I dont mind her going through average slave green. Not like she is someone special.

>>30890831
>>30890475
>>30890563
>>30890605
>>30890627
>>30890648
>>30890680
>>30890693
>>30890700
>>30890742
>>30890748
>>30890773
>>30890776
Holy crap trying this hard to make someone like the same character as you. How about you give green feedback or go to some other thread to talk about your offtopic garbage?

>>30890038
This is one of the most deserving rarara's i've ever read. She better get into trouble for this.

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>>30890848
Do we have a fire extinguisher here?

> How about you give green feedback
Maybe we shold rap duel about it so you would not call the police?

>>30890038
This is so close to my expectations of her this is almost creepy

>>30890848
lol asshurt

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[One-shot] "Redemption by a Filly" - Cloudy Spinel
https://pastebin.com/765frTMU

> Opening her eyes as she comes back to the world of the living, Cloudy Spinel narrows them as the soft rays of the morning sun come in through the window. So that is what woke the pony from her dream; it is a fortunate really – this dream involved her and her parents, where they were shopping for a gift for an aunt back in the Crystal Empire. The little pony sits up carefully, letting out a sigh as her gaze is fixed on the bedsheet beneath her. She misses her parents terribly, and having that dream did little to ease the aching emptiness in her heart. If only she had listened to them… If only she been more careful… If only she not pushed her way through the crowd to meet her friend…
> Cloudy feels a familiar urge to cry as the feelings of regret and loss claws at her. Just like that, before she realised her mistake, she was separated from her parents in the crowd of ponies as they left the Crystal Empire. There was a “war”, according to her mother, and they had to leave their home because “bad two-legged creatures” are coming. The pony obeyed and listened to her mother exactly as she was brought up to, and made no objections other than insisting that she gets to bring along her stuffed elephant, Mr Patches, along for the journey. She is a good filly. Has been, and always will be… except for that instant when she saw Coral Shores in the crowd….

>>30890924
> A soft grunt distracts the pink-coated pony from her memories and sorrow. Turning to her right, she is greeted to the sight of one of the “bad two-legged creatures” that her mother had warned her about. He is Master; that is what he told her to call him anyway, and he is still sleeping in the large bed that they share. Cloudy uses a hoof to brush her purple mane out of her eyes as she watches the “human” snooze gently; her face breaking into a small smile as she remembers the warmth of his body when he hugged her from behind last night. It was… nice.
> Her mother was… wrong. Master is anything but “bad”, and he certainly did not “beat” her or “take away her toys” or “snatch her from her parents”; that last one was HER fault, actually. In fact, in the months since he rescued her from the dark and smelly place filled with ponies in cages, he has always been gentle and caring to her, and he brought her to many nice and fun places in the Human world. Restaurants, amusement parks, the beach, and even the theatre – a place for grown-ups! He even bought her Mr Stuffy, her-
> The filly’s eyes widen as she realises that her new “teddy bear”, as he calls it, is missing. Her teal eyes dart around as Cloudy searches frantically for Mr Stuffy, and feeling increasingly panicky when she does not see him, she decides to lay down on her front to look at the floor by her side of the bed.
> There he is! He must be so lonely; he was probably left on the floor by himself through the night, and the little pony feels guilty for making her friend feel bad. She must have kicked him off when she tossed and turned.
> Cloudy grunts softly as she reaches her hooves forward to try and pick him up. She must stretch them to their limits, but even then, her limbs are simply too short. Not one to give up easily, the filly adjusts the position of her body as she tries again to pick up her plush toy.

>>30890929
> “Mr Stuffy! You’ll be okay! I’m coming to save y-”
> Her body shifts, and the filly is suddenly weightless. She is falling on her face, and the ground is-
“Be careful, little one. Jesus!”
> Cloudy blinks as her muzzle is mere centimetres from the carpet. Then, she feels more pressure on the hand holding one of her hind hooves before another moves below her chest. With a gentle heave, the human lifts her up and sets her on the bed, shaking his head lightly as he reaches down to retrieve Mr Stuffy from the floor. Moving the bear towards her, the human pauses just as the little pony reaches her hooves forward to receive the plushie. He pulls back and decides to hug the bear instead, earning himself a pout from the filly, which quickly turns into a scared look when she sees the frown on his face. His voice comes out firm.
“You could have gotten badly hurt, y’know? Haven’t I told you before to get off the bed if you want to pick things up? Not the first time, right?”
> Her response is quick.
> “But Daddy, I know what I’m doing! I just-”
“Cloudy…”
> The filly shrinks back from the tone of his voice, and the not-so-subtle warning causes her to dip her head lightly as she realises her mistake. Sighing softly, Cloudy’s voice comes out softer this time.
> “Yes, Master… No calling you “Daddy”…”
“Good. I’m not your father, Cloudy. HE is out there somewhere, and I am your Master.”
> “… Yes, Master…”
> Reluctantly, the filly nods before she lets out a soft sigh and mutters her next words under her breath.
> “… even though I see you as my daddy… Master…”
> Frowning at the filly, Master lets out a pained breath and chooses to ignore that comment. Instead, he shakes the bear at her as he reprimands the pony.
“As I was saying, you should be careful when you-”
> “Okay, Master! I get it! I’m sorry, and I’ll won’t do it again, okay?!”

>>30890933
> Her sudden burst of emotion makes the man’s frown deepen as the filly glares at him. Instead of being angry, however, he lets out a pained sigh and places the bear on the bed beside him. Reaching his hands over, he gathers the little pony and hugs her, using a hand to stroke her mane gently as he mutters to her.
“You had one of those dreams again, huh Cloudy? About… Them?”
> Almost as quick as it came, the filly’s rage disappears and is replaced by an immense sadness. Her lower lip is trembling as she nods, and already, tears are leaking from her eyes. Using his hand to guide her head such that she is resting it on his shoulder, he lets out another breath when she starts crying earnestly. He continues to pat the back of her mane gently as he hushes her.
“It’s okay… It’s okay, Cloudy. Remember that none of it is your fault; things just happened, okay? I know you are hurting inside, and I’m here for you, little pony. Go ahead, cry it out. It’s okay, Cloudy… It’s okay… Let it out… You’ll feel better after…”
> “I miss my Mommy, Master… I miss Daddy…. I want my Mommy and Daddy, Master…! I want to go home! I want to go see them again! I want Mommy and Daddy, Master… I want to see them again… I want to…”
> Coughing lightly as his own tears pool in his eyes, Master just hushes Cloudy Spinel, even as he chokes on his words and his voice cracks.
“It’s okay, Cloudy… It’s okay… Cry if you need to, little one. Master’s here… Master’s here for you…”
> “Why can’t I go home, Master? Why can’t I get to see Mommy and Daddy again? I want to go home, Master… I want to see them again… Please, Master… please… I want to go home… I want Mommy and Daddy again… please…”

>>30890934
> The man does not respond. She already knows his answers, and there is little point in reaffirming those since she is just asking these questions for the sake of it, so he just keeps hushing her and plants a gentle kiss on the top of her head. His cheeks feel ticklish when those tears in his eyes escape their confines.
> Surprisingly, it is Cloudy who recovers first. After a few minutes of crying together, she moves her muzzle up and licks at his wet cheeks, causing Master to pause and blink at her. The filly gives him a boop on his nose with her hoof, giggling lightly as she does so.
> “Boops are magical, Master. Daddy always said that, and he told me that they are a show of love and trust.”
> Her words earn the filly a gentle, if teary, smile from the man. He reaches a hand up to hold her hoof, and leaning in, he plants a soft kiss on the frog, making the pony giggle more.
> “Hehehe M-Master! That tickles! Hehehehe!”
> Keeping his smile, the man waits for Cloudy’s laughter to subside before he speaks softly.
“And kisses, little one, are how we humans show love and trust. I suppose they are magical too.”
> “We ponies do it too, Master! I’ve seen Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor kissing at the Crystal Palace! Hehehe!”
> The filly blushes a little and leans in to whisper.
> “It was so sweet, Master. Mommy tried to cover my eyes, but I saw it.”
> Chuckling lightly at her words, the man smiles at her.
“I would suppose so. They sound like they are deeply in love.”
> She pauses for a moment and frowns at him.
> “M-Master, do you love me?”
> He flinches and turns his eyes away from the filly, moving them to stare at a spot on the bedsheet.
> “W-What do you mean, little one?”
> “Do. You. Love. Me?”
> He frowns lightly at her persistence, but the filly is not swayed. She in turn, is frowning at him as she waits for him to answer her question.
“I… I do. You are a special little girl, Cloudy, and I do.”

>>30890937
> “So why can’t you be my Daddy now, Master? Why can’t you be my human Daddy? I don’t understand; Daddy always says that he loved me, so he is my daddy. You just said that you love me, so you should be my human Daddy.”
“It isn’t so simpl-”
> “I don’t care! You kissed my hoof, so you love and trust me, just as I booped your nose to show that I love and trust you! You are my Daddy, Master! My human Daddy!”
> Her insistence causes the man’s frown to deepen. Clearly, Cloudy Spinel is projecting her loss of her parents by seeing him as a substitute for her father. Yet, he cannot BE her father. No fucking way. Not after… everything… that has happened between them.
> …

> Carrying the dirty filly into the bathroom, the man gently deposits her onto the tiled floor. Almost immediately, she shrinks back and cowers away from him, pinning her ears back as her teal eyes watches him in obvious terror.
> “I’m s-sorry for making your shirt d-dirty, Mister Human! Pl-please don’t beat me! I… I didn’t mean… I’m sorry! Pl-please… I’m sorry!”
> He grunts softly as he picks up the showerhead and turn it on, waving a hand in dismissal of her apologies.
“I’m not going to beat you, little one. It’s just a shirt; I can always wash it after. You are safe now, and there is no need to be scared of me. I will not hurt you, and I will not beat you, because you have been a good girl so far.”
> Testing the temperature of the water on his forearm, the man smiles gently at her as he kneels down before her and pats her mane.
“You can call me Master, little one. You are staying with me from now on, in my house. No more cages, and no more… “bad” humans, as you call them. Now, I’m going to get you clean, then we have to go to bed. It’s late, and you need some rest.”
> Cloudy Spinel swallows hard, but stays in place as she watches him fearfully. He sighs softly, but keeps his smile when he speaks again.

>>30890941
“Easy, little one. Relax. I told you that you are safe now, didn’t I? I will take good care of you.”
> “You promise, M-Master?”
> He nods.
“I promise.”
> “O-okay…”
> Allowing him to gently guide her into position, the filly stands still as the man starts to run the water through her mane, coat and tail. She turns her head towards Master and watches his movements, clearly still scared of him as he gives her a thorough rinsing down.
> “The bad human said that I must be a good girl for you in bed, Mis- Master, or else you will be angry and beat me.”
> Her fearful, but matter-of-fact tone when she said that makes Master pause, but he decides to ignore it and continue washing her. The pony’s ears pin back again, and her voice trembles when she speaks.
> “Y-you… you won’t b-beat me…. Will you… M-Master?”
“No, I won’t. I am not that kind of Master.”
> It seems like her natural curiosity wins over her fear and suspicion. She frowns lightly and tilts her head at him.
> “How many masters are there… Master?”
> Snorting in mild amusement, the man gently cleans Cloudy’s body, working his way towards her hindquarters.
“Two kinds, Cloudy. Good and bad. I like to think I am a good one.”
> “You are a good master, Master. You are nice.”
> He pauses again and stares at the filly as she smiles at him. She has barely known him for a few hours, and already, he can practically SEE her trusting him from the look that she has on her face.
“Why am I nice, little one? I haven’t done anything yet.”
> “Nuh-uh! You gave me tasty food just now, and you bought me an ice-cream! Thank you, Master!”
“Heh, you are welcome. I’m happy that you are happy.”
> Carefully, the man lifts the filly’s tail and washes her privates, noting how she blushes at the contact and pulls away from him.
“What’s wrong, Cloudy?”
> The filly blushes harder and stares at the hand which was on her backside moments earlier.

>>30890944
> “Mommy and Daddy also always said that this is my “private parts”, and that no pony other than me should touch me there.”
> Master frowns lightly at her words, but shakes his head when he responds.
“Did they say anything about Masters? Or humans?”
> His question makes her frown in turn.
> “I… No, Master. They said “no pony”.”
> Now smiling gently, the man gently guides her back into position and continues washing her, speaking softly as he finishes up by rinsing her tail from base to tip.
“Then it should be okay for me, don’t you think? I am not a pony, little one.”
> She giggles softly at him as he turns the water off and stands to grab a towel. Gently and carefully, he dries the filly, taking his time to make sure that he does not miss a spot.
> “I’m happy that you are my friend, Master. Mommy said that nice ponies are friends, and even though you are not a pony, you are nice, so you are my friend.”
> Master coughs as a look of guilt flashes across his face. He laughs nervously and switches on a smile, nodding at her when he speaks.
“Y-yeah. You can say that I’m your friend. A special friend, that you listen to and obey.”
> Done with drying the filly, the man hangs the damp towel on a spreader bar before he removes the soiled shirt and deposits it into the laundry basket. Keeping his inner shirt, he gently scoops Cloudy into his arms and carries her out of the bathroom and into his bedroom.
> ““Listen to and obey”? Like a daddy or mommy?”
“I suppose so, but more of a Master.”
> Master lays the filly on the bed, who quickly sits up and tilt her head at him. Her ears are perked up, and her look is one of inquisitive innocence.
> “What’s the difference?”
> He chuckles as he proceeds to change out of his work clothes and into a more comfortable t-shirt, complete with a pair of shorts.

>>30890948
“A Master is an authority figure, Cloudy Spinel. Something like a police officer or a teacher. They are not your parents, but you still listen to them and obey, right? Same thing then. I am your Master, so in the same way, you listen to me and obey me.”
> The filly nods her head vigorously at the explanation, and flashes Master a wide smile.
> “Okay. I will be a good filly and listen to you, because Master is a nice and good master. I promise. I will listen to you just as I listen to Mommy and Daddy.”
“Good. Now, it’s time to sleep. It has been a long and tiring day, and you need some rest.”
> Cloudy moves aside as the man turns off the lights and climbs into bed with her. Laying down on his side, his normal routine of browsing the Internet on his phone is disrupted by a soft sniffle from the pony. Almost immediately, he puts the phone down by the bedside table and sits up. Reaching his hands over, the man gently pulls the filly into a hug, and is mildly surprised when she wraps her hooves around his chest. Her grip is tight and strong.
> Master carefully strokes the back of her mane as he speaks softly.
“Hey, hey… What’s wrong, Cloudy? Why are you crying? Are you hurt? Tell me, little one.”
> “I miss… Mommy… and Daddy… I miss them, Master… I miss them…”
> Frowning deeply, the man hushes the filly as she cries.
“I’m sorry, little one… I’m so sorry… There there, I’m here. Master’s here… You are safe now, Cloudy, you are safe. Let it out, okay little one? It’s okay… Everything’s okay… There there…”
> “… I want my Mommy and Daddy… I want to go home… I want to go home! Pl-please… I want to go home… I want to see Mommy and Daddy… Please, I want to go home…”

>>30890924
Well that was a good read. Thanks for writing it.

>>30890953
> Master lets out a pained breath as he narrows his eyes. Looking down at the filly sadly, he is reminded of his original intentions for her, but now, seeing her like this… knowing the innocence and naivety of the pony child and experiencing it first-hand, how could he even have thought of doing THAT?
> He is unable to stop his own tears from falling as he holds Cloudy Spinel to his chest, rocking her slowly back and forth as he whispers soft, comforting words to the crying filly. Swallowing hard, Master beats himself up mentally for having those plans, feeling a sense of icy hatred for his perversion and depravity. There is a lump in his throat, and warmth at the corners of his eyes.
> He was not sure how long he was hugging and rocking her, but when he realised that his eyes are puffy and his cheeks are tear-stained, the filly is already sleeping in his embrace, having cried herself to sleep.
> Carefully, he lowers the filly to the bed and rests her head on a pillow. Moving her tail away gently with a hand, his eyes and fingers drift to her privates, but instead of feeling sexual arousal as he expected, the man grimaces as the urge to vomit takes over. Instead, he curses softly and drapes a thin blanket over her lower body, choosing to lay down beside her instead and holding her close to him with his arms. Looking over her sleeping form, the man carefully strokes her side as he presses her back to his chest, even leaning in to plant a shaky kiss on the top of her head as he mutters an apology to the unconscious pony.

>>30890960
> It was a long time before he fell asleep that night, considering he broke down utterly, shortly after the kiss. The filly’s small body is so soft and warm, and she is very much vulnerable to anything that he wanted to do to her or with her. Her life is literally in his hands now; he gets to decide her fate. Happy, loved, and safe, or sad, alone and scared, that is his decision to make. This realisation, along with the memories of her innocent ways, simply tore at his heart and fills him with a crushing disgust for what he originally planned to do.
> Cloudy Spinel is but a filly. A pony child.
> And he is a monster.
> …

> Shaking his head lightly to clear his mind of the memory, the man looks into the filly’s teal eyes and speaks softly.
“It’s silly of me, but I don’t want to replace who Daddy is in your heart. If you call me that, I don’t feel comfortable, little one. Your Daddy is out there somewhere, so is your Mommy.”
> A bittersweet smile graces the little pony’s face as her earlier frown disappears quickly. She lowers her gaze and moves her hoof back as she sits still on his lap, allowing him to pet her mane gently when he chose to do so. Uncomfortable with the ensuring silence, he speaks to her softly.
“There, there… You are a good little filly, and I feel sad when I see that you are sad. I want you to be a happy pony, Cloudy, not a sad one. We will find them one day, okay? Your Daddy and Mommy? We will find them.”
> Shaking her head gently, Cloudy Spinel keeps that bittersweet smile. Then, she speaks quietly.
> “I am not stupid, Master. I can tell that you know something bad happened to Mommy and Daddy, and you don’t think I can return home. You always have that look when you tell me that I can go back to them one day, and that I can go home. I have no more parents now, right Master?”
> The man flinches, which makes the filly dip her head when her fears are confirmed. She looks as if she visibly deflated.

>>30890964
> “... You see? I am not stupid, Master. You know something, but you are not telling me that.”
“Cl-Cloudy…”
> The pink-coated filly shakes her head again as her smile widens, causing her braided purple mane to drift through the air lazily. She is clearly attempting to be brave, as she had to wipe her eyes when tears start pooling in them.
> “It’s… okay, Master. I’m sure you are not telling me because you have good reasons to keep it a secret. I have you now, and you are a nice master. A good Master. You are my human Daddy, Master, and I love you and trust you.”
> Cloudy reaches a hoof up and presses the soft underside to the man’s nose again. She grins as tears rolls down her cheeks.
> “S-see? Now you can kiss my hoof again to show that you love and trust me too, Master.”
> Lowering her hoof, the man swallows hard as he leans in. He holds her head gently with his hands and plants a soft kiss between her eyes, giving her a warm smile as his bottom lip trembles. She closed her eyes and giggled softly when he did that.
> The Master strokes the back of her mane and keeps silent. She knows it now… He has tried to keep the truth away from her, but… she knows it now. He has under-estimated her levels of perception.
> Then, the man smiles softly and clears his throat with a light cough. He has come to a decision.
“Okay…”
> The pony’s eyes shoot open and she quickly looks up at him in wonder.
> “M-Master?”
> Stroking her cheek with a thumb, the man shakes his head lightly as tears roll down his cheeks.
“No more “Master”. You can call me “Daddy”, little one. I’ll be your human Daddy.”
> Instantly, she lunges forward and wraps her hooves around his neck, crying hard and rubbing her face into his cheek as she calls him by his new name.
> “Daddy! Master is my Daddy! My human Daddy! I love you, Daddy! I love you! Daddy… Daddy… Thank you, Daddy… Thank you…”

>>30890967
> Master, no, Daddy, hugs the little filly and kisses her on the neck, sniffing softly before he closes his eyes and mutters to her.
“No… Thank you… And I love you too, little one.”
> As how he did on that first night she cried in his embrace, the man hushes her softly and rocks her gently back and forth. Eventually, her crying (and his) dies down, and reaching a hand over, he picks up her teddy bear and presses it into her side. The filly turns to look at the toy, and sitting back on his knees, the pony wraps a hoof around the plush and mumbles her thanks. She giggles when he wipes her cheeks with a thumb.
> Looking down at the bear, the man smiles at it before he moves his eyes to meet hers.
“I think Mr Stuffy needs a friend. What do you think, Cloudy? Shall we head out for some food, then to the store? I think I saw a large cat plushie the other day, and he is really fluffy and cute.”
> “R-really?! C-can we, Daddy? Please? Please, Daddy! Can we?”
> He ruffles her mane and grins at her, nodding as he does so. The man is probably already spoiling her, but he puts that thought aside.
“Go use the bathroom first, little one, and get ready. We’ll leave in ten minutes, okay?”
> Eagerly and with much enthusiasm, the filly nods her head quickly.
> “Yes Daddy!”
> Chuckling softly, Daddy moves both hands to under her chest and lifts her off the bed. He carefully deposits her on the ground, but calls out to the pony as she quickly moves to exit the room.
“Wait, Cloudy.”
> “Yes? Daddy?”
> Walking over to the pony, he gently picks up Mr Stuffy and turns the bear over in his hands, taking a good look at it. Then he gives the plushie a small smile before depositing it on the bed, whispering to her when he moves back and kneels in front of Cloudy Spinel.

>>30890971
“Let’s give Mr Stuffy a surprise. If you bring him along, he will know that he has a new friend to play with straight away now, won’t he? Much better if you bring his friend home quietly.”
> Nodding quickly at his suggestion, the filly smiles warmly and whispers.
> “Okay, Daddy!”
> With that, Cloudy spins around and canters away as she makes her way to the bathroom. Watching her quietly as she takes her leave, Daddy lets out a soft sigh as that smile of his widens.
“… Thank you for saving my soul, little one… I’ll be a good Daddy for you, and you’ll be my daughter. I promise…”

---- Fin ----

>>30889470
Sounds like Arnold is the kind of guy who would buy into the "white man's burden" claptrap.

>>30890975
some dialog felt a bit unnatural, but it was still ok.

>>30890975
This is my favorite thing you've wrote, wow this was good. Didn't overstay its welcome, but it also spent enough time on the little backstory for things to come together.

You have that theme of "sick twisted Anon plans on violating pony but changes his mind" in your stories, I've noticed. It works well here to provide dramatic tension, and when it all ends there is a nice sense of optimism and hope despite all that transpired.

I really liked this. Cloudy ftw

>>30890038
Rarity is for spanking. I hope she gets her naughty temptress flanks bent over and paddled until her butt is hotter than the surface of the sun.

Time for spanking, Rarity.

>>30890975
>hunts for her parents.
>learn father already passed on. buys mother out of bad situation.
>After quite the bumpy beginning he admits the truth and she starts to trust him.
>The more comfortable she gets the more anon feels he bought a wife rather than a slave.

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>>30891245
I'd read that

>>30890038
A home-wrecking pet.
Damn, I want more of this.

>>30890685
If Equestria there for over a thousand years and has not been destroyed by the Changelings, Dragons, Griphons and any other threat means that she has done her job very good

And although of course it's a cartoon for children and all, the only flaw of his reign is that his subjects are apparently cowardly bigots who flee are the minor problems and their military forces one mockery before enemy forces, I guess that happens when you live thousand years of peace and harmony without the threat that require you to adapt and learn to fight

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>>30890933
>“… even though I see you as my daddy… Master…”

My heart.....

>>30891865
> has not been destroyed by the Changelings
Who kicked Celestia's ass this instant
> Dragons
Who eat crystals in their mountain and dont need anything in Equestria
> Griphons
Who are busy fighting each other
> any other threat
Which is at most Jonestown-like villages

I agree, the marsmallow universe does not encourage you for war, but they must have at least developed spells to protect themselves from wild animals. Ponyville is at the border of uncontrollable territory of Everfree, and Celestia is clearly old enough to know some shield spells at least. I guess. But the point of our wlame a couple of hours ago was about being a good ruler, and instead of being good ruler I believe she is better described as unbusy ruler (remember manehattan, appleoosa and ponyville being rather autonomous about their profits and wholo bunch of buerocrats dealing with paperwork for her). Which lets her to be all spectre of assholes or holy saints when she's not posing for a magazine. And then dude at the start of it says that she's just the little part of this specter and calls people names when they do not agree with his point of view.

>>30892088
I think you're completely missing the narrative of the show, which has always implied since the start that Celestia handles countless duties of diplomacy, government, and dangerous situations off-screen as her job demands
>Mentioning how she was called on to deal with a Parasprite infestation in Filly in S1
>Mentions in S6 how ponies are always coming to her with some crisis

This is why you never see anyone complaining about her in show or otherwise unsatisfied with her rule because, for the most part, she does her job well. Those instances of Changelings beating her are the subject of those episodes and take up attention because they are the EXCEPTION, not the rule, and thus provide interest because now it's up to the main characters to cover for her. It also probably isn't the first time changelings have fought Celestia given they're well known enough by them, and I think you're making mountains out of anthills when you focus on the episodes in which she is defeated as though those were the only indicators of Celestia's competence, which the narrative implies to be stellar as the norm.

>>30892149
> implied
It's not the show which does most implies here.

> called on to deal with a Parasprite infestation
She already was going there, and they asked her to hurry because of this.

> coming to her with some crisis
That is rich

> This is why you never see anyone complaining about her in show
Because it is for little girls?

> EXCEPTION
So the o-so-mighty sun horse, which has the wisdoms of tens of centuries is just exceptionally continued to eat cakes, not even bothering that the alicorn she herself picked and accended starts to act completely different. Neither she gives a flying fart about her evil sister reappearing and teleports to the battlefield just right when she is defeated. Now I will leave you to write another fantasy how she was absolutely useless in every single conflict, but these six seasons were purely an exception spree.

> probably
Could we maybe stop here, before we assume her countless victories and take unmentioned as granted?

> she is defeated as though those were the only indicators of Celestia's competence
Say, are you familiar with the story of paid shitposters in Olginio? Because your arguments resemble theirs and based only on your OPINION, not the plot.

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>>30892444
>line by line reply
>reddit spacing
Autism/10
Is this an anime forum in the mid-2000's? If you're in an argument with someone don't cut out sentences from their post and respond to each of them line by line. Write out a fucking paragraph.

>>30892547
Forgive me for being too old to fit your phone screen reading habits, but I write as I see comfortable. I dont see a problem with spacing as my monitor gives enough vertical space, and I do not ask anyone to read that if you're not my interlocutor.

>>30892547
>Clear formatting that makes it easier to read and understand
>Reddit spacing

And this guy calls others autists

>>30892618
It's not about the ability to read it. It's about being able to construct a coherent argument. Breaking it up into pieces only makes you focus on smaller bits instead of the whole picture and leaves it convenient for you to leave out lines you don't/can't address. It overbloats the response to make it look like it holds more substance than it actually does and eventually devolves into asinine nitpicking. If two guys start seriously going back and forth picking and dissecting every segment of each other's lines it gets to the point where it's not just one argument anymore, it turns into dozens of little arguments about unimportant shit compared to what you were originally focused on.

>>30892715
I am sorry for putting you into a great trouble of READING, that was rude of me. I understand that not everyone can hold the tiny line of main subject in their heads and focus on more than one thing. It sure must look unimportant in your eyes, but next time when you try to mix up all kinds of wrong into one pile of nonsense, hoping that others would address just one bit of it, you will be prepared that this won't work.

>>30890975
What do you have against the use of contractions?

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>>30890937
>“Boops are magical, Master. Daddy always said that, and he told me that they are a show of love and trust.”

>>30890975
Except for the part where Anon puts his hand where him not should say that me liked the story of redemption from a black knight to a white knight, I'm sorry for Cloudy and his parents but there is still a bit of hope that his future is blessed, it was a good brief history, and worth reading

>>30889872
Yeah, figuring that out will be her top priority if she wants a chance of remaining on the run.

As to the 'dominant species' bit it's more of a was the dominant species than an is. She's currently living in the woods hiding from wild animals so she's not the dominant anything.

>>30891318
>>30891230
>>30890863
>>30890853
She'll not get away unscathed.

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slave barbies when

Can we geld Celestia?
She seems a pretty big dick.

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>>30888735
Sorry but that is all I got.
I don't know a story arc for this but the character of Celestia in slavery is very interesting.
Maybe she gets some confidence back, stops blaming herself and works for the betterment of poners with Anons help.
Dunno...

>>30888733
pretty much this

>>30889255
It is basically just my headcanon but I think she would heavily blame herself for not stoping the enslavement of her race.
She always got messed up by villains only to be saved by other people, asking herself why she even is the ruler.
She only defeated Discord with the help of her sister.
Years later she banished her to the moon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7PQ9IO-7fU
She has the fassade of the allmighty ruler but inside is weak and vulnerable.

If she can't protect anyone, not even her sister, is she fit to rule?
Was it her fault everything fell apart?
If every decision she takes leads to sadness maybe she should not be in charge.

While she can't stop herself from sticking up for her ponies, her being not in charge is a nice change for her.
If something goes wrong she doesn't have to blame herself but her owner.

Thats just what I think a enslaved Celestia should/could be like,

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>>30893459
not gonna lie, I would do some dark shit to see some quality Sunset green pop up sometime. Maybe with all this Celestia love lately someda another sunny horse will get her shot

>>30894024
*quality SLAVE Sunset green

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>>30893957
See, I take things the exact opposite way: She's a masterful manipulator, a top-tier planner who knows her ponies very well and can play the longest of long games to set things in her favor. Does she regret the clear mistakes that she's had made? Absolutely, but they're the stark minority. If anything, it's a statement on her skill as a planner - and with her foresight ability - that she can string a series of seemingly bizarre and nonsensical choices together, even allow antagonists to reach every step up to absolute victory, only to pluck out the single path that leads to victory.

The memories of the ponies she couldn't protect - Luna, namely - only drive her to do better, to set every piece in place.

The strange things is that I come to a similar conclusion as you do:
>It is basically just my headcanon but I think she would heavily blame herself for not stoping the enslavement of her race.
I think this would be totally accurate, because she'd be questioning "what went wrong here?" Of all the times she played her game perfectly, what fucked up this time? Did she finally mess up and make a bad call, despite all of her skill and ability? Or was it simply to late before she saw the way things were going, and playing the long game of slavery followed by eventual emancipation is the best of a roster of horrible options?

>>30892679
I keep seeing this Reddit spacing meme, but I don't get it. Is separating thoughts and paragraphs practiced exclusively by Reddit now? If we're making a long post, are we supposed to cram it all into one giant block of text to avoid "Reddit spacing?"

>>30894087
if I understand it correctly, 'reddit spacing' refers to when they're over saturating the post with breaklines to the point where more than half its volumes from empty line spaces

>>30894099
No, it's from when you put TWO line spaces between paragraphs instead of one

So this is fine.


This is not fine.

>>30894052
>She's a masterful manipulator
I really dislike Chess-master type characters and a small part of me dies every time Celly is portrayed as one.

>>30894211
Out of curiosity, why?

I mean, obviously we're of differing opinions and each to his own and stuff, but I'm actually curious what makes you dislike the character archetype so much.

>>30894259
Not that Anon, but I'm not a fan of them either. They can be the most pretentious excuse for a writer to feel 'smart' as it can get. The worst examples I can name are Light, Lelouch, and Moriarty from the new Sherlock series but almost every chess-master type character I've seen have only had their intelligence implied rather than outright shown.

The two exceptions that come to mind are Grand Admiral Thrawn, who does have some great strategies and actually makes you feel smarter watching him, and Joseph Joestar, who has amazing strategies but is at least willing to admit >50% are bullshit levels of luck and he just makes look like he has them all planned out.

>>30894259
Its about how they are often portrayed.
Aloof and above the situation, working towards the goal so distant noone else can even see it. As the name suggests, it all a game to them. They sit at the sidelines while worthless pawns die directed by them. It gets even better when they sacrifice some of their 'pieces' in order to make the plan work.

I guess just the thought of somebody treating life as a game and everybody around them as pawns to be sacrificed towards some goal revolts me to the point of nausea.

>>30894329
Along those lines, most writers don't seem to be able to handle the impact of a character who can see everything coming and adjust for any circumstance. If you make a character so smart they can outmaneuver everyone else, they quickly become Mary Sue archetypes who take the agency away from most other characters. Usually from the author making everyone's IQ drop significantly once they get involved.They usually come hand in hand with other common tropes such as: instant like-ability; and extreme competence in a manner of areas, often surpassing characters who claim to be good at those things.

They also often reflect a naive and simplistic world view of a teenager who thinks they are very very smart and should be recognized for their genius.

Not saying the character can't be done right, but its a common trope that a lot of writers trip and break their face on.

>>30894052
>playing the long game of slavery followed by eventual emancipation

This is how I think Cadance of Slaveventure should be written. She's the most influential of the immortal alicorns, she should be thinking on a 500-1000 year timeframe and using her subtle power to make the best for both species. Just like her hero would, if she were not being dissected in a government lab or wherever she ended up in that story. Cadance is having a rough time at the moment, but she'll recover her balance.

>>30894196
I have never seen anyone on 4chan post with the two line spacing like that yet they still get called out for reddit spacing

>>30894645
I think that position makes less sense for Cadance than it does for Celestia. Celestia has already lived millenia, the idea that she might feel the need to give up on the current generation ever being free and instead planning on how to free them centuries from now is more sensible to her because of her long life span, even if it means more suffering in the short term and great blow dealt to their current culture.

Cadance may be immortal now but she has not lived more than a few decades. She wouldn't be concerned with ponies born generations from now who have no memory of Equestria or what it was, she would be concerned with the ponies around her in the present who have lost everything and how to free them ASAP rather than planning for their childrens' children.

>>30894668
I think, in particular, what drives home that point is her family. Cadance has a husband who will most certainly not live for centuries. She has friends who won't live for centuries. Celestia has lost all of her original peers sans Luna and has likely grown numb to the pain of constantly out living her loved ones with the epochs, but Cadance still has very many strong emotional, personal ties that would keep her focused on the now, or at most the near future, more than any sort of long game.

>>30893001
I tend to use formal writing for narrative (hence no contractions), informal writing for speech and thoughts (where you will see them).
It's just a style that I picked up from school, and this format is what I was taught to use.

>>30891159
Would be happy if you can point those out, and why it felt that way.
> I am always looking to improve.

>>30891211
>>30893389
Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you liked it.
> I personally like redemption story arcs. It gives me a little warm and fuzzy feeling inside when I read stories like these, and I want to give readers of my work the same feeling. Guess I'm a sucker for nice endings.

>>30891911
>>30893025
I hope you enjoyed the sappy sweetness. Cloudy Spinel is a good and innocent little filly.

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>>30894912
>I hope you enjoyed the sappy sweetness. Cloudy Spinel is a good and innocent little filly.

>>30891911
>>30893025

It was worth it

>>30894465
>>30894668
Hey, hold up a sec though: Has there been any indication whatsoever that Cadance is immortal in CYOS? Did I miss it, because I don't remember one?

>>30894967
>>30894967
I don't think it's come up explicitly, but don't we assume that Cadance and Flurry will live until they die, like Celestia and Luna? That's just part of the alicorn package, right?

>>30895051

Everyone lives until they die.

>>30895069
But not everyone has a finite 'best before' date. For alicorns, presumably including Cadance, it's more open-ended. But she still has to stay on her hooftips, even for her death is only ever a heartbeat away!

As for the ones who point out how young she is, that's the character development she needs to do. Slavery has ripped away Shiny and most of her mortal friends from the Crystal Empire, Celestia and Luna are unavailable. The species (both of them, really) need her to get her head in the game and be a real Princess now. Even if "now" is more than a few generations long.

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>>30895051
>live until they die

>don't we assume that Cadance and Flurry will live until they die
anon...

>>30894329
Huh, fair enough reasoning I suppose. I'd quibble over examples, but that's neither here nor there.

>>30894399
Fair enough here too. I will say one of the reasons I like Celestia like that is just because she voids the 'aloof and all just a game' stereotype: Nothing could be further from the truth; she cares for each and every one of her ponies, and that is exactly what drives her to plan for them like that.

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>>30896354

>>30896816
Pretty blue eyes for one awful cat

>>30896876
ur taste is shit and you should feel ashamed of yourself

>>30896889
Mmm.... nope

>late night bump

>>30897647
> tfw it's half past 13 here

So why has there been so much talk on Celestia?

>>30897747
tl;dr - someone likes her and does not like wnen others don't.

>>30897757
Is this where I say I like the idea of her being spayed, dehorned, wings cut off, and made to live like an earth horse?
All as part of an atyempt at breeding pony horses.

>>30897775
Yeah, some white knight started talking about why oh why should you do it to his beloved and someone else replied that she's not everyeone's waifu and she's not that special in /spg/. You can guess the rest.

>>30897783
Somebody simed a story of Celestia becoming a slave.

We miss you, Britanon

>>30897913
I'm sorry I've been a lazy bugger but I'm uploading tonight

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>>30897747
You can just scroll up to find out, dude.
Someone wrote a story about Celestia, and then there was an argument about if Celestia was a good ruler or not; in which both sides walked away butthurt. So, what usually happens when /spg/ discusses anything.

>>30897775
>spayed
>attempt at breeding
You failed before you even begun.

>>30898014
Clearly you never worked in government before.

>>30897927
Maiden Voyage when

>>30897927
GIVE ME THE UPDATE! I KNOW YOU'RE HIDING IT SOMEWHERE!

I want to read about a doomed slave uprising that only gets them and their owners brutally killed.

>>30898235
>doomed uprising
Autumn and Comet sidestory! Those gluefarmers are very security conscious, but it's a low margin business and there's only so much they can afford to do. There will always be an opportunity for ponies able to organize and willing to risk. I doubt Slaveventure would mind someone taking over these characters...

>clear skies never got her cummies

>>30898371
We should give Steel Steed cummies.
Maybe she will be less of a bitch then.

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Applejack is a sex-slave and a broodmother.

>>30898576
I thought her whole reproductive system was replaced with a hard drive of pony pr0n. Giving her cummies is done via command line interface now.

>>30898596
>as though you could be hung as a stallion and notice
I want to cure the crazy pegasus using the HMD

>>30898371
Actually she did.
What is more interesting, was new landscape finished?

>>30898729
Hasn't been updated. :( It left off with Master Anon snuggling with Applejack on the couch after the tornado, after she almost had another breakdown.

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>>30898595

>Anon acquired Applejack to take care of the house while he and his wife serve their hectic work and exclusive social life.

>Anon's children spend more time with Applejack that parents who spend most of their free time attending gala dinners, art exhibitions and all kinds of social excuses.

>One day the younger son calls 'Mama' to Applejack in front of Anon friends.

>The Wife, angry and jealous makes Applejack is brought into a center for dangerous ponies under false allegations of violence against children, Anon does nothing about it.

>Applejack is away from her 'children' and never seen again.

>>30898753
FUUUHUUCK YOOOOUUUHUHUHUUUU

DELET THISSS

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>>30898753

>The marriage fails and after a sad divorce the mom takes custody of her children and sends them to a private school, she not have time to care for them because their professional and private lives take precedence over family life.

>Childrens grow up resenting their parents' indifference to her feelings and miss to her mother pony.

>When the older have 16 get part-time job as an assistant in one of the detention centers ponies.

>Through his work finds that Applejack but demonstrated excellent behavior and great social skills was vetoed any possibility of adoption to a human family, he even heard a rumor that someone from outside payment to the investigator in charge of his case for Applejack I could never get another chance.

>Connecting the dots on concludes that parents are responsible for bribery and chides both parents, then confirmed his suspicions when the mother confesses that she was responsible, blaming Anon for bringing Applejack to home to do their job and she defends the excuse. . to protect others from a wild animal

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>>30898873
>Enraged by the cruel actions of his parents, the eldest son leaves the house for Applejack, after two years of searching in the system discovers she was sent to a farm outside which is where they send the ponies that they can not be adopted but demonstrate good behavior, using all her money Young Anon travels to the place only to discover sadly that Applejack. . . . just died.

>Overwhelmed by grief and helplessness Young Anon feels that her mother has failed, that if he had done more could have saved her from a life of suffering, but workers will have during your stay Applejack was the most courageous and admirable working pony who have had, inspiring everyone with his extraordinary work ethic and honesty, the ponies that live there remembered as Applejack used to tell stories of their time by taking care two foals human and not a day passed that did not remember fondly

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>>30899008
>Moved by the memory Young Anon decides to leave when one of the workers speaks:

>'And now who will take care of his daughter?'

His. . . . daughter?

>'Yes, the little Applegold, this is not the place for a little filly, while she had her mommy there was no problem, but now that Applejack is not there will have time to take care of her, I guess we should send it to one of the centers of help but I doubt that there receives the attention that needs a pony so small '

>'Poor filly, losing her mother was devastating to her, the truth is that I do not think anyone knows how she feels'

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>>30899072

>with those last words the truth enlighten the heart of Young Anon. .

I will do it.

> "Excuse me?"

Applegold lost her mother but still has two brothers. . . . and although I take all life makes it happy

>And he realized that although the people we love will, love and teachings will live in our lives and in the lives we touch all creating a great symphony of life.

>Together. . .

>In Harmony

FIN


Do not kill me, I just wanted to keep alive the thread

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>>30899128
I did not want apple horse to die

>>30899188
Could have been worse. Imagine if the kid found her at the facility for dangerous ponies, only to find that she'd been broken by having her new family ripped away yet again - unable to form a relationship with anyone new. She's on the list for euthanasia - not because she's dangerous, but just because she's a drain on resources to keep around.

So the kid tries to shove through the paperwork to keep her alive until he can heal her, but no one particularly cares about just one broken pony and he's one person working against an entire business that's set up for profit, not for ponies' wellbeing. He just wasn't fast enough, and can only stare at the empty cell that once was Applejack's.

>>30899217
Yesh.
Appul is for the sads.

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>>30899223
That's a damn lie, spread by those filthy oranges.
Apple is love. Apple is life.

>>30899188
Me too, but in this particular story focuses on the teachings we receive from others and as we honor their memory sharing the same value to others peoples, the brothers had good reasons to become in bastards with parents who had, more focused on their own achievements than on the welfare of their children, the father acquired Applejack because the ponies were seen as a toy for their children and cheaper servitude, but the honest and nice personality of Applejack won their hearts and they they lived happily hearing of their adventures and experiences in Equestria, only when the parents were confronted before their 'friends' of their failures was that in fact they interest to them, but in fact they only wanted to cover their negligence blaming to pony

>>30899282
Appul is for snuggle

>>30899282
Appul will never see her little sister or the little girl in the hospital. :(

Landscape, plz

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>>30899471
love, protect, care for, learn from his teachings and enjoy its excellent desserts apple

Applejack is the best pony

>>30899492
You're not even wrong there friendo

>>30898654
Sorry Anon, she only accepts HDMI now.

>>30899282
Apples go with oak allergies.
Citrus is needed to live and the key to British dominance by preventing scurvy.
Appul horse should be spayed and turned into a stallion so she can then be gelded into a pathetic docile slave.

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>>30899544

>>30899548
I want to say this gives me ideas.
I really do.
But its not.
Add more or something and I will work with it.

>>30899562
You should be spayed

>>30899999