Ponies in Earth #84: Total eclipse edition

>>30728686
I approve of this thread

Unf!

File: 1057101.gif (31KB, 100x100px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 100x100px

>>30728718
I approve of this approval of this thread.

>ywn miss the eclipse because you had to use the bathroom really bad
>Luna will never reset the eclipse so you get another chance to see it

Threadly reminder that PiE is ded, just like everything else on the board.

File: gif.gif (624KB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

624KB, 320x240px

>>30728686
Wasn't this supposed to combine with the AiE threads?

>>30731056
Not OP. But they were mashed together for a while, then someone decided back during the winter that they wanted to make a separate one on the 14th, because March 14th/3-14/PiE on Pi Day.

File: 1366487088533.jpg (272KB, 900x638px) Image search: [Google]

272KB, 900x638px

>>30728900
I approve of this wild poner, away from its natural habitat.

>>30731073
Bad timing

File: 62598__safe_princess+luna_image+macro_caption_the+fun+has+been+doubled_i+had+fun+once+and+it+was+awful[1].png (38KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 500x500px

>>30728718
>>30728900
The approval has been doub-

>>30731653
Has been tripled. I approve of all this approval.
Someone, please give this Fluttershy a loving home.

File: large.png (169KB, 858x1024px) Image search: [Google]

169KB, 858x1024px

>"Hey Anon, the comics convention is in town! Let's get tickets!"

File: large.png (162KB, 1031x1024px) Image search: [Google]

162KB, 1031x1024px

>>30734002
>"Can I come too?"

Pillow Case is a cute and pure pony.

I really hate story about pony fuck a horse. They really understand that, HORSE CAN'T TALK!

>>30736640
I don't think we've had any of those.

Now I'm wondering how pony would treat horse in a normal situation.

File: rainderp.png (214KB, 830x465px) Image search: [Google]

214KB, 830x465px

>>30736657
I imagine it being something like this.

1/5

>Be Rainbow Dash.
>Be on Earth.
>You've been here about six months.
>Ever since you let Twilight talk you into letting her use you for an experimental subject for a new type of teleportation spell she'd created.
>It didn't work as planned and you’d ended up in another world.
>Specifically, you’d ended up on an icy road in January right in front of an enormous metal thing you later learned was called a “pickup truck.”
>Fortunately the driver of the vehicle was kindly by nature.
>He’d also had the presence of mind to bring you to a veterinarian instead of gawking at you until you bled to death.
>You don’t remember the surgery where she reassembled the shattered bones of your left wing with stainless steel pins.
>You’re not supposed to remember, she said.
>You don’t understand how you were supposed to have slept through something that exciting, though. She used a bunch of big words but it doesn’t make much sense to you.
>You think it might have been kind of cool.
>The cast came off in March and the feathers on that part of your wing have mostly grown back in, covering up a truly wicked-looking scar.
>The wing doesn’t even hurt any more, except on rainy days.
>And by “wicked” you mean “cool.”
>They’ve tried to come up with a regimen of physical therapy for you.
>They’re concerned the flight muscles on your left side could have weakened due to lack of use.
>So you’re in the pasture, running laps, flapping both wings as hard as you can, while the guy watches.
>It’s weird. You can’t fly here. Your wings don’t generate enough lift.
>You told them, and they said, yeah, you’re right, it’s mathematically impossible. Could you fly before? Really?
>If you can ever get back to Equestria you’ll show them.

>>30737003
2/5

>In the meantime you’re continuing to run laps and stop for the occasional snack.
>This pasture is planted in alfalfa. It’s not your favorite flavor pasture but it’ll do.
>You remember how amused they were when you told them you were a pony.
>They said that ponies were a type of whorse, and that really offended you.
>And then they showed you pictures of this world’s ponies and whorses.
“They don’t look even a little like me,” you’d said.
“It’d be like you coming to Equestria and us telling you that you were some kind of, uh, uh, I don’t know, monkeys.”
>You still don’t know why they laughed.
>But things could be worse.
>The male was especially kind and conscientious about taking care of you and the pasture.
>You were asked to go get the human if you found poisonous plants, or a nest of wasps, or any other hazards.
>”If you see a snake, come and get me, and I’ll deal with it.”
>”The only kind of snake that is poisonous in this area has rattles on its tail and usually rattles to give warning before it strikes.”
>”The other snakes are harmless.”
>You haven’t seen any snakes here, but you still don’t like them.
>You are pretty sure even Big Harv doesn’t like snakes.
>Big Harv is the other creature in the paddock. Big Harv is a whorse.
>Big Harv is, they said, a “Clydesdale,” but you don’t know what that is.
>You know he’s bigger than Big Mac or even Princess Celestia. Bigger than the two of them put together.
>Big Harv is a domesticated animal.
>His kind were once used to pull carts and plows, but now that machines do that kind of thing, they’re basically exotic pets.
>He’s about as bright as a dog and he doesn’t speak or reason, they said.
>Big Harv has a weird, long narrow muzzle that makes him look, to you, almost like an anteater.
>And tiny little beady eyes on opposite sides of his head.
>He won’t be winning any beauty contests.

>>30737007
3/5

>Big Harv has been staring at you a lot the last few weeks.
>You’re hoping it doesn’t mean your estrus is starting up.
>Like most modern mares, you made use of magical estrus suppressants.
>Estrus was fine for married mares who were starting a family.
>But you have a career.
>However, you’ve been here for months, and the suppressants don’t exist here.
>And you’ve been feeling a bit odd since spring.
>Moody. Distracted.
>You know that estrus wasn’t really like it was in the romance novels.
>There wasn’t anything beautiful about it, and you didn’t want to be “swept away by passion” anyway.
>Not when there wasn’t any other pony here. Big Harv doesn’t count.
>The humans had shown you pictures of their world’s “ponies” and they all looked like miniature versions of Big Harv, and weren’t any smarter.
>You stopped in your run beside the trough. The water was clean, anyway.
>You ate another mouthful of alfalfa. This stuff would be better with some ranch dressing, you’re pretty sure.
>Suddenly you notice you’re standing in the center of a massive shadow.
>You look up. How the Tartarus does something that weighs a ton and a half move that quietly?
“Hi,” you say, nervously, suddenly very aware of just how much larger he is than you.
>He whinnies softly and makes grunting sounds, then tries to smell your butt.
“Hey! Don’t get fresh, Buster! You’re the wrong species anyway!”
>And then you notice that Big Harv is really, really happy to see you.
>Your mouth makes a silent “o” of surprise.
>You suppose your estrus must have started, and Big Harv can smell you.
>His cock is the size of a fencepost back home and there is no way it would fit in any of your body’s orifices.
>It is in fact longer than your entire body.
>You look over your shoulder, hoping one of the humans is nearby.
“Little help here?”

>>30737016
4/5

>You are accustomed to be able to outrun and outfly anyone else.
>Right now just being able to fly would be pretty welcome.
“Oh, crap.”
>Big Harv is picking up the loose end of your tail in his mouth and trying to move it aside to get a better view.
>You really don’t like the look in those tiny, beady eyes.
>You wonder what Twilight Sparkle would do. She’d probably teleport herself away.
>Think harder, Rainbow.
>You wonder what Daring Do would do. She’d fly away.
>Time to panic? Time to panic.
“Helllllllllllllllllllp!” you scream at the top of your lungs, ducking between Big Harv’s legs
>barely avoiding getting poked in the eye by Little Harv
>As fast as your legs can carry you, you run down the fence line.
>You are flapping your wings to add every little bit of thrust you can.
>You look over your shoulder and see Big Harv lumbering forward.
>He’s got some long, long legs, and you don’t think you can outrun him.
>Finally, you see the male human, by the gate.
>He’s holding the gate open and motioning to you.
“Rainbow! I have the gate! Come on!”
>You’re running for all you’re worth.
>The pasture is roughly square, a couple hundred meters on a side.
>You are galloping frantically across it diagonally. Maybe a bit under three hundred meters total distance.
>You’re trying to sprint the last distance.
>You look over your shoulder. Big Harv is… is he pronking? Like a foal?
>He is pronking like a foal and bouncing a good five or six meters with every jump.
>He is having no trouble keeping up with you at all, either.
>You finally make it through the gate, which the human male latches behind you.
>You collapse gasping for air, sweat running down your flanks.
>Big Harv looms over the gate, leering at you with his teeth exposed in flehmen response.

>>30737021
5/5

>”Are you okay, Rainbow?” asks the human male.
“Yeah. I think so. I didn’t think Big Harv was going to try to get frisky.”
>”He’s pretty well behaved. He normally doesn’t do that unless he can smell a mare in estrus.”
“Well, about that...” you look down at the ground, pawing sheepishly
>”...oh. I think we’re going to need to separate the two of you while you exercise, then.”
“That’s probably going to be a good idea.”
>”I’m just curious about something, though.”
“Yeah?”
>”You’re tiny. Why didn’t you just duck down under the lowest fence rail?”
>You look at him.
>You look at the fence. He’s right.
“D’oh!”
>He chuckles.
>”So, did you work up an appetite?”
”Well, I’ve been snacking a little, but yeah.”
>”You in the mood for some Little Caesar’s, then?”
“Cool!”
>it was a day of adventure and cheap pizza

>>30737026
Not bad. Feel for Rainbow. She's basically been Scootaloo'd while on Earth. How's she going to get back?

>>30737187
Thanks.

I hadn't really thought about it that far.

The story is basically a long riff on a couple different ideas, and others have told me that I am working too hard at the jokes and need to make them subtler.

Idea 1 is that horses are, objectively speaking, kind of weird animals, and kind of weird-looking. Equestria's talking pastel ponies might find them even weirder-looking than we do, because of the Uncanny Valley. Oh, and the mental image of an enormous Clydesdale stallion pronking like a springbok or an alpaca is bizarrely hilarious to me. THOOM THOOM THOOM THOOM THOOM.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMIiB9DnRXg

Idea 2 is that Rainbow Dash, while she is admirably loyal to her friends, is not and never has been the sharpest crayon in the box.

Oh. And "Big Harv" was the name of the character Richard Kiel played in "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid." I figured it would be a good name for a freakish giant of a stallion.

>>30736570
then why does she have a vagina

>>30737615
Because she's a mare, duh.

File: 1402894.png (1MB, 5133x4622px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 5133x4622px

>>30739310
>>30737615
Wait

Something happened. Now she's not a mare.

>>30740000
Nice quads.

If that is Casey, she is the cutest griffon ever.

Shit 10

>>30728686
Me: holds pone
Pone: is hold

>>30737314
>An enormous Clydesdale stallion pronking

Agreed, that was one of the funniest images from the story. Thank you for your writes, writefriend

>>30741349

File: 1502661496808.png (897KB, 1336x1594px) Image search: [Google]

897KB, 1336x1594px

Bump/

>>30745393
It took me a moment to figure out what's going on in this picture. Is this CPU on CPU violence?

File: b98332fcff82346672d7ad75320b4943a9f85b3a?url=http%3A%2F%2Fi3.ruliweb.com%2Fori%2F17%2F01%2F31%2F159f345bdb810fd10.gif (4MB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 480x480px

>>30745822
Yep.

File: 396626.png (209KB, 1280x907px) Image search: [Google]

209KB, 1280x907px

>>30745837
Huh. I haven't seen many hardware ponies before.

I wonder if system ponies are made of hardware ponies? Would the components of hardware ponies be made of other ponies? This is making my head spin. There could be semiconductor pones dealing with an uncountable number of electron pones every computational cycle.

File: 1501749__safe_artist-colon-orang111_oc_oc+only_oc-colon-skylake_assembly_computer_cpu_cpu+pony_intel_intel+skylake_micro_motherboard_pegasus_ponified_p.png (781KB, 1675x1281px) Image search: [Google]

781KB, 1675x1281px

>>30745914
Its ponies all the way down.

>>30745926
Ponelectronics are a so strange...

File: 1460656.png (2MB, 2000x1939px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2000x1939px

>>30746008
Yep. Dont be too demanding though. They are fragile things.
https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/6/5/1454333.png

>>30746021
She's got a regular heat sink, but it looks like she might be liquid-cooled as well if you know what I mean

File: 1189099.png (940KB, 846x868px) Image search: [Google]

940KB, 846x868px

Remember to bathe your hardware ponies regularly. They can get dusty.

>>30745837
...the fuck? The thermal grease goes on top of the CPU, not underneath it. Or is that the joke?

>>30748232
The fact it depicts a tube with Hellmann's mayo implies it's a joke

pillow case gets hit on by her indian co worker asking for pics of her bobs and vegene

>>30748575
>"You are the hotness of the ganges, my perfect purple poni wife."
>"My father will designate special poo street for us."

>>30748479
I didn't even notice that. Lel.

Give me a prompt for a one-post story.

>>30734002
>>30735231
The show needs more boys adventures

I'll reply to one of the prompts tomorrow.

Bump for hope.

It bugs me that it says ponies in earth instead of on earth. This an Undertale crossover or something?

>>30750856
PiE has been around since 2013. Undertale didn't even exist then.

>>30750856
It's a play on "Anonymous in Equestria."

Also, pie puns and stories featuring pies are traditional in PiE.

>>30750708
boop

File: 1496604184917.jpg (308KB, 894x965px) Image search: [Google]

308KB, 894x965px

>"Good morning, sir! Would you like to hear the good word of Equali-"

Goddamn Glimmer's Witnesses.

File: 373572.png (409KB, 908x1612px) Image search: [Google]

409KB, 908x1612px

>>30750085
I think I'll do this one later. I know the other one isn't actually a prompt, but w/e

>>30750708
>Be Anon
>You've got an evening planned with your waifu and daughteru
>You just need to drive to school pick your daughteru, and you'll be ready to go
>As you're pulling onto the street with the school, your phone rings
"Lyra, could you get that for me?"
>"Sure thing, hon'."
>The phone slides out of your pocket and floats up to your waifu in the passenger seat
>"The school is calling us. I wonder what they want?"
>She answers the phone
>"Hello? Yes, this is his wife. She's what?...How? No, she's not- hang on, we were just coming to pick her up. I'll be there in a moment."
>She hangs up and puts the phone down on the dashboard
>"Drop me off here."
>Something's got Lyra spooked
"What's going on?"
>"I'm not sure. Meet me in the cafeteria."
>You pull over to let your waifu out, then spend a few minutes finding a parking spot
>It takes a few seconds of dread before you will yourself to get up and jog to the cafeteria
>Your waifu and some school faculty gathered around a vending machine
>Hope is smooshed up against the glass inside the vending machine
>She greets you with a muffled "Hi dad"
>You wave to her and ask the faculty how she got in there
>She reached inside to grab a bag of chips after the machine ate her money
>They're not sure how she got all the way in, but they suspect it's magic
>Lyra is swearing that a satyr wouldn't have strong enough magic even if Hope studied advanced magic
"She must take after me, then."
>The faculty stare at you questioningly
"She used human magic."
>"Humans don't have magic."
"Yeah we do. Watch."
>You approach the machine's side and hold your forearm upright
>Wrist level with the top of the machine, half a pace in from the front
>You lower your elbow and...
*Bump*
>Hope pops out of the vending slot
>You bump a couple more times to get a loose candy bar in A6, which you hand to the principal
"It's a lost art, really."

>>30753549
Had a chuckle.

>>30753549
Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

I kek'd. And at least they didn't have to get the Jaws of Life, right?

>>30755142
>"WOOHOO! You go, Anon! Meme like you mean it!"
"Holy shit. Fuck off, Rainbow Dash's dad."
>"You are the BEST at forgetting my name."

>>30753549
Anon should have struck a "Fonzie pose" and said, "Heeeyyy, It's a lost art."

Thanks for the post Anon. I consider myself a newfag and I've been genuinely curious about that cutie. Threads where her picture gets posted seem to devolve into fits of 'reeing' and the thread where she's from hardly has any green. Can you recommend a comfy green about her?

File: 1471525222524.png (358KB, 711x509px) Image search: [Google]

358KB, 711x509px

>>30745926
>browsing pony discussion forums through friendly pony spirits resembling consumer electronics
Is it ponyception? Have our memes finally gone too far? Have those memes taken a life of their own outside of any human desires or control?

Are we safe from those ponies anon? Is there some kind of shadow pony government that they control above the level of even the Rothchilds? Do the elites worship these equine beings? Are the bogdanoff twins and reptilians even comparable?

File: 1503049319486.png (475KB, 1440x2560px) Image search: [Google]

475KB, 1440x2560px

bump

>>30757051
The singularity has arrived, and it's adorable. Trust nothing. Trust no one. Atom-sized ponies can organize to make anything.
ANYTHING.

They have trouble making things that aren't the shape of a horse, though, so we're okay until they figure that out.

>>30758237
/r/ing electron pone

File: 1485045620055.jpg (291KB, 900x1292px) Image search: [Google]

291KB, 900x1292px

>>30758237
>your waifu will never take over the 1%
>conspiracy theories and cute ponies will never merge into one horrifying sugar sweet amalgamation
>twilight will never use the CIA to watch you masturbate by proxy
Why even live?

>>30758588
What would electron pone be like? I bet she'd have OCD about how many friends she should have. Once she feels like she has enough, it would be hard to get her to break out of her shell.

Okay then. Gonna repost an old story I did here many moons ago:

Its been a little over a year now.
One evening, as you were watching, TV there was suddenly a bright flash and a scared an confused looking Alicorn from another universe appeard in your living room.
Her name is Celestia and in her world she is one of the rulers, a nigh-immortal magical being of awesome beauty and power, wise and benelovent. She was blasted here by accident as she explaned to you, one day as she and her sister and co-ruler, as well as her protigee and her student tried a complex spell for traveling astral plains, a spell so complicated that only the most powerfull magicusers could perform it. Something went wrong and a thaumaturgic feedback hit her, catapulting her into our world.
The first weeks were hell for her, she was scared close to madness by this horrifying world full of barbaric ape-creatures, she warned me not to get too close to her while she hid in a corner of the living room, trying to magic herself back to her own world, almost untill collapsing by exhastion. She cried herself to sleep every night, worrying for "her little ponies" like a mother who has been robbed of her children.
One night she managed it to get at least a telepathic contact with her sister for a few minutes, it calmed her down much, since her sister, Luna, told her that all experienced magic users in her world were working tirelessly to bring her back. She broke down into a sobbing mess after that contact, because she feared the worst for the others working on the spell, but also for her people, "her little ponies" as she called them full of love and pride. Since that she had contact at least once a week with her sister, trying to keep in touch about the effords for her rescue and the business of ruling her domain. You try to keep her spirits up and she really appreciates it that you gave her shelter and that you try to make herself feel at home.

>>30761144
She is content, almost happy now, even thou you don´t know how much of it is just a royal facade (sometimes you think you can hear her cry at night). You keep her entertained with a showcase of your culture on Netflix and the internet. One night she explained to you her theory why she can´t return to her world on her own, even thou she is one of the most powerfull magic users in her world.
" A magic user can do simple spells all by him or herself, with the thaumaturgic energy his body creates, but powerfull spells, like the one to travel dimensions, need more energy than that, for that a magic user borrows little bits of energy from his enviroment, kind of like a magical version of a Genkidama."
(she binge watched Dragonball Z the week before, she fucking loved it, suprisingly since she comes from a very peacefull world)
"That is no problem in Equestria, where everything contains at least a little magic, but in this universe, well, no offence Anon, but this universe is amazingly unmagical. Extraordinary unmagical! There is billion times less thaumaturgic energy in this entire universe than in the most unmagical particles of dust in Equestria! There is nothing I could borrow energy from!"
She actually was afraid to use the rest room for the first few weeks as she had no idea how matter that is loaded with thaumaturgical energy would react with the unmagical matter of our universe once it is not shielded by the energy of her living soul anymore.
"But as my most fathfull student, my sister and all the others work so hard and tirelessly to get me back there is a real chance that I can return one day."
You saw that she was close to tearing up again when she said that but she was quickly hiding it behind a brave and beaming face.
"Well then, Anon! I want to see what will happen next on "Game of Thrones"! Can we continiue to watch it?"

>>30761160
That was a few months ago, in the last month you two grew closer and she opend up to you more and more to you. You actually begin to fear the day when she leaves.
Today.
You enter the living room and look at Celestia, who is lying on the couch and watches TV. She is the most stunningly beautiful being you ever saw. Even now at daylight you can see the glow of her etheral mane and tail and even the glow of her white coat. One night, when you returned home from late shift, you saw her glow in the dark of the living room, it kinda looked like there was one of those colour changing nightlights in the room (you pray that this is what everybody thinks who may see her glow in your apartment at night). She has gained a little weight since she arrived, she eats those cheap chocolate snack cakes all the time, as she does now. You kinda like the extra padding on her.
"Carefull with those, Tia. If the sun on your butt gets any bigger it may turn into a super nova."
As you two got closer you discoverd her playfull, humourfull, even a little mischievious side, the side that loves phranks, and banter, a side she only shows to those close to her, those she trusts. Thats why she grins at your rude joke and magics as pillow at your face.
"Anon! Thats no way to adress a princess!"
You bow down in a exaggurated matter.
"Oh, excuse me, you worshipfullness!"
She laughts her beautifull laughter, she is in a good mood today since she talked to her sister earlier today. Things are good at home, everything is peacefull and they are close to a breakthrough with the spell. The last part puts a knot into your stomache. You know that your time together may end soon. On one hand you will be happy for her to return to her people, on the other hand you know you will miss her like a piece of your body.

>>30761172
"Anon?"
She pulls you out of your somber thoughts.
"I really enjoy this new series I found! The main character is a bit silly, but somehow I can relate to him very much!"
This new series is Alf and its almost 30 years old.
"Do you think he will return to his people by the end?"
- "Weeeeell..."
The phone is ringing. Whew, saved by the bell, you make a mental note that you must find a show to distract her from fucking Alf. The finale of the show will break her heart!
"Anon here?"
- "Hey son, whats going on with you? You haven´t called us for over a year. Is everything okay?"
Oh shit. Its Dad-Anon.
"Oh hi Dad, sorry about that. I was very tangled up in work recently. You know how it goes."
- I see. Your mother is worried, son. I am too. So we decidet that we will visit you and look how you are doing."
- "Oh."
You stare at the beautiful, regal magical alicorn on your couch that looks back at you with a quizzical expression and you feel how all colour leaves your face.
"I don´t know if thats a good idea, Dad. I´m kinda busy and will probably have no time to be a good host to you and mom."
- "Nonsense son, besides we are allready on our way, I´m calling from a truckstop."
You feel like your are dropped out of a plane without a parachute.
"Eh, what? Dad, you can´t just drop by here like that, My place is a mess, I need to clean up first!"
- " Yeah, your mother though so, that why she wants to clean up your dump. Seems like we need to come to look after you. We´ll be there in about two hours."
Shit.

>>30761185
"Y..yeah. Okay. Love you guys. See you then. Bye".
You stare at Celestia, who looks back at you confused and you feel how anger, shock and terror have a battle royale in your stomache about who should make you throw up first.
"Well, fuck."
-"Whats wrong, Anon?"
You look at Celestia with a panicked expression.
"We´re on shit creek without a paddle. My parents, I told you about them? Dad-anon, the thuggish former sailor who thinks I´m a fag because I enjoy culture and didn´t step in his footsteps of starting barfights in every habour of the globe and Mom-Anon, the OCD borderline person who thinks I´m still 4 years old and needs to be nagged and pampered into submission? The people I moved three states away from as soon as I had the opportunity? They are coming. Now. We must hide you somewhere."
Celestia just smiles at you gently. Normally it doesn´t bother you when she does that but in the current situation it feels a bit patronizing.
"Oh Anon, don´t worry. I´m sure we´ll get along fine."
You snap at her
"FINE? FINE? Those people are crazy! And you are a magical horse from another dimension, how do you expect me to explain that to them?!?! We´ll be lucky if they call animal control when they see you!"
Tia looks a bit hurt.
"I´m sure we can talk reasonable..."
-"No. No you can´t talk reason to those people. Look, I´m sorry I just yelled at you. I need to think. And clean up the mess."

>>30761211
You spend the next two hours cleaning up the place as good as you can, your mind in robot mode, while Tia sits on the couch deep in thought. As you look out of the window you see your parents car driving onto the partking lot.
"Shit. they are here. Tia, hide somewhere!"
Celly looks at you calm.
"Anon, I have an idea, no time to explain, just work with me and don´t panic."
She gets up and trotts into your bathroom.
"What do you mean "Work with me"?! I..."
The doorbell rings.
You open the door and you parents enter. Dad-anon nudges your head.
"Well son, here we are. So this is your place? Looks better than I feared. At least you got rid of those chinese cartoon posters."
Mom-anon gives you a hug that could smother a bear.
"My poor baby, I missed you so much. All alone in this terrible city."
-"Mom, its okay, please, I´m an adult man."
-"Anon? Oh, You are here allready!"
You feel like you are going to have a stroke as you hear Celestias friendly, cheerfull voice behind you.
You slowly turn around. You need a moment to process what you see. In the doorway of the bathroom stands a beautifull, very tall woman, she is curvy, a bit on the chubby side, but all in the right places. Her skin is flawless and bronze tanned. Her hair is long and blond with an odd rainbowish shine on it. Her face has a regal shape with high cheekbones, her race is hard to determine, it seems that she has all of the best features of caucasian, african and asian women. In the middle of her forehead is a large beautymark. She wears a white bathrobe and looks like she just stepped out of the shower. Its Celestia? She has somehow transformed herself into a human, what the hell is she doing?

>>30761231
She just beams at you with a bright beautifull smile.
"I though I still had some time to make myself a little more... presentable for your parents. Hello Mr. and Mrs. Anon! I´m Tia, Tia Prince."
Dad-Anon gives you that stupid wide dad-grin fathers around the globe have when they proudly discover that their sons are not fags and are doing something that may lead to giving them grandsons.
"I see. Son, I´m dissapoint, why didn´t you tell us about your girlfriend?"
You don´t know if you like the direction this is going to..
Human Tia shakes the hands of both of your parents.
"Its such a pleasure to finally meet you two! Anon told me so much about you."
Dad-Anon still grins like a idiot, while Mom-Anon looks like a deer in the headlights.
"Oh, only the best I hope. Anon never told us anything about you Miss Prince."
Tia looks at you with played shock.
"Oh really Anon, now thats not very nice of you!"
She grins and gives you a wink.
"If you excuse me for a minute, I´ll just get dressed quickly."
You are still in shock and mumble:
"Y..yeah. Why don´t you two wait in the living room, I have to talk to Tia for a minute."
Tia and you go into the bathroom, you close the door behind you.
"Well..? That wasn´t that bad...?"
She grins at you sheepishly as you can only stare at hear in a weird mix of irritation and confusion. Up close you see how massive she is. She is at least one and a half heads taller than you, which brings you in eyelevel with her plentifull bosom. She is even taller than your father, who is a very large man. Yet despite of her size all of her movements are incredibly elegant and gracefull. There are a million questions going through your head right now, but you can only utter:
"How...? What...? HOW?!?!?"

>>30761259
Tia twiddles her fingers.
"Weeeeell, I told you about the incident with the changelings a while ago, right? After that incident I studied their species, to learn how we could protect ourselves against this threat. I also studied their transformation magic, and how pony magic users could use it. Its simple, really. I could stay in this disguise for days, if not weeks if necessary."
You blink as you process it.
"You...you could do this all the time?!?!"
She scratches the back of her head
"This form? I first tried it a few weeks ago, when you were at work. It took me a while to figure out how to walk on my hindlegs. But now I´m quite safe in this form. Sorry that I didn´t tell you about this earlier, I wanted to suprise you, also..."
Suddely she get very serious and sadness is in her voice.
"Look, I know that my little ponies at home try absolutely everything in their power to bring me home. But fact is that we don´t know how long it will take. They could have a solution tomorrow. But it could also take a decade. A century. A millennium."
She swallows hard.
"Or never."
She looks you straight in the eye.
"I trust them with my life, but I´m not a delusional fool." I´m stuck here, possibly for a very long time. I need to blend in, I need to look human. I can´t stay in your apartment forever after all. That why I decided to test my human disguise right now with your parents. Yes, it was a risk, but it works! And a girlfriend is easier to explain than a "magical horse from another dimension", right?"
You still stare at her, now with a mix of awe and confusion.
"Jesus Christ, Tia. I don´t know if you are brilliant or just insane. Okay, I guess your clothes are part of the disguise? Magic into something simple. My parents like down to earth people."

>>30761280
You leave the bathroom and head into the lions den. Dad-anon grins at you. Mom-anon sits silently there and stares into space.
"My son. You lucky wanker. I can´t remember when I was THIS proud of you. How did a little loser like you score a stunner like her? She is way out of your league. She isn´t pregnant, right?"
- "WHAT?!? NO! No, we... kinda met by accident. You can say she... she kinda dropped into my world! Ahahahah...hah."
Mom-anon speaks without stopping to stare into space.
"I don´t like that little hussy. She is not good for my little boy."
Dad-anon pats her shoulder.
"Now, now, honey. We talk with her first before you judge her, okay? Remember what Dr. Katzenberg said in therapy."
Its just in this moment that Tia enters the room. She wears simple kaki slacks, a sky blue T-shirt and a pair of simple moccasins. Her hair is tied into a loose pony tail.
She sits down on the chair across the couch where your parents sit and beams at them with her trademark warm smile.
"Well, now. Here we are!"
Dad-anon loves her, you can tell. He grins at her like a idiot and eats out her hand as they chat. Mom-anon is what worries you. She has THAT look on her face. You remember it from the time when your older brother brought his girlfriend home. There is another woman that is taking her baby from her and she HATES it. She is a bomb about to explode. You know that Tia is a stateswoman, statesmare... whatever, with centuries of experience, she negociated with griffons, dragons and worse, but your mother? She a entirely different breed of monster, you wonder if Tias diplomatic skills and eloquence will be enough for that.
Dad-anon just asks another of his questions, Tia has answerd all of them very skillfull so far. She is telling them the truth - from a certain point of view - without revealing too much. You admire her more and more.
"Well, Miss Prince"
-"Please, Dad-anon, call me Tia."

>>30761310
"Okay then, Tia. I hope you don´t mind the question, but what do you do for a living?"
Tia chuckles
"Well its kind of a gouvermential position, basically administrative work. the pay is good, so I´m quite well off."
Mom-anon stares at her angry.
"What do you want with my son then? If you are not some lousy little Gold Digger what do you want with him?"
Tia must have heard the hostility in her voice, but she chooses to ignore it. She puts down her cup of coffee and says calm and warm to your mother.
"Mrs. Anon. Your son is a wonderfull person. He was there for me, he supported me in one of the worst times in my life. For that I will be eternally grateful to him."
She looks at you with a warm and loving smile.
" I know a thing or two about people, in my profession its part of the job, and your son is one of the kindest souls I´ve ever met."
Mom-anon is silent and stares at her feet.
Tia smiles warmly
"Anyway, I´m really glad that I have to opportunity to meet the people that raised Anon to be the great person he is.
She lifts the cup, but acciently uses her magic, not her hand. Your parents stare at her with open mouths. She notices her mistake and quickly grabs the cup.
"Ho...how did you do that?"

>>30761322
You feel your heart stop. Luckyily Tia is a quick thinker.
"That? Ah... That was just a little magic trick. My silly, little hobby ever since I was a little girl. You know, card tricks, floating and dissapering objects, stuff like that. Its a riot at office parties but nothing special, really."
Dad-anon laught out loud.
"You are full of suprised my dear! You really are talented. Have you ever thought of going to one of the talent shows on TV? You would blow them away! Can you show us some more of your tricks?"
- "Oh, well. Sure! Why not?
You silently curse.
"I just need a moment to prepare some tricks"
You get up.
"I´ll help you with that!"
You go into the bedroom. You look at Tia with the most angriest look you can do.
"Really? You are going to do magic infront of them?"
- "I´m doing it all the time. Remember, this here is a magical disguise. Look, I know I fumbled there. Using magic is more natural to me for everyday tasks than using these."
>She lifts up her hands.
I do it without thinking and have to concentrate NOT to use it. However I have seen the nonsense that counts as magic in this world on TV. Ridiculus parlor tricks, that would bore an unicorn foal, amaze people here! Its all smoke and mirrors, there is nothing magical, REALLY magical about it. But I can imitate those tricks by using real magic. Just trust me here and work with me.

>>30761338
You just sigh and give up.
"All right then. A magic show. Just some card tricks can´t hurt I guess. Are you sure you are up to it? After all you talked to your sister this morning, that always wears you out for a while, also there is this disguise..."
Tia smiles and shakes her head.
"Not really a problem, I had several hours after the contact to "recharge". The disguise spell, once deployed uses less than a half Thaun per hour, normally the methabolism of my body produces about 50 Megathaun per hour, but that was back in Equestria, where everything I eat and drink, even the air I breath is charged with magic. Here my body generates much less magical energy, still it should be more than enough."

(Note: Thaun is a unit to measure magical energy. 1 Thaun equals the magical energy necessary to levitate the mass of 1 kilogramm at a gravitation of 1g for one minute. )

Tia beams.
"All right Lets get ready for the show!"
A bright flash of light engulfs her
You facepalm as you see what she did.
"What? Isn´t that the appropriate outfit fo magicians in this world?"
She wears something like a playboy bunny outfit, with fishnets and a tophat. You suddenly reget that you let her read the Zantanna TPB last week.
"No. No, it isn´t. You don´t need to change your outfit, besides my parents will only wonder why you have THAT outfit ready at my place."
She flashes back and pouts
"Aw, I wanted to make it special."

>>30761354
Sometimes you wonder if she does that on purpose, just to fuck with you. You know that she has a very mischievious side. You sigh again and walk back to the Lining room.
"Please, don´t do anything too crazy. Just some stupid parlor tricks, so that we can get over with it."
You sit down with your parents.
"She is almost ready, she just has to gather some stuff she still has here from a party we had a while ago."
Just a few moments later Tia comes into the room with a box (that probably just magicd into existence) in her hands.
"I´m ready! Erm... Ladies and Gentlemen, get ready for the magic and illusions of the great Celestia!"
You cringe. She really just do that.
For almost 20 minutes she gives your parents the full show. Lame card tricks, levitating balls, dissapearing coins, complete with fumbled tricks and incredibly cheesy annoucements. You have to admidt, you are impressed by her intentionally bad performance.
"And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, for my grandé finale, I will tranform into a magical creature of myth and legend!"
All of the blood in your body instanly freezes to ice. Oh fuck!
"Abracadabra ALACAZAM!"
A blinding flash of light. Celestia stands in the middle of the room in all of her alicorn princess glory. She gives you a wink. You realize that she was fucking with you the whole time.
With a flash of light she turns back into a human.
"Well? how did you like it?"
Your parents jaws have crashed through the floor, all the way down into the basement. You pray to whatever higher power is in charge right now to kill you now, smite you with a lightning, just to end this situation.

>>30761369
"That... was AMAZING!!!!!"
Dad-anon had jumped up and claps. Mom-anon joins in, she fucking smiles? You wonder if you have been suddenly been beamed into another universe or if you have been taking crazy pills. Mom-anon smiles! This has got to be one of the most scariest things you have ever seen.
"How did you do that? that was one of the most amazing magic tricks I´ve ever seen!"
You are stunned. They think that was a trick. They experience real magic, but they think its a trick! Of course, Magic and magical horse princess creatures don´t exist for them, so it must be a trick, a very good trick! A fantastic, amazing trick! Tia leans over to you.
"Gotcha!"
You don´t know if you want to punch or hug her. Instead you start to laugh like a madman.
The hours pass and finally, FINALLY, your parents take their leave.
Dad-Anon grins at Tia.
"I´m really glad that we met you. You are a fine lady and as it seems you made a man out of my son."
He gives her a dirty wink, which Tia answers with a polite smile.
Mom-anon grabs Tias hands.
"Take good care of my baby. No, I can feel that you will."
Dad-Anon smiles.
"Well, Tia, I guess that means that you can consider yourself a part of our family!"
"What an honour..." you think to yourself.
You say your goodbyes, promise that you call more often, and both of you wave at your parents as they drive off the parking lot, into the sunset.

>>30761391
Back in your apartment you go to the toilet and throw up.
Tia, now back in her Alicorn form. stands in the bathroom door and looks sheepishly.
"I overdid it, didn´t I?"
-"Oh you think?"
She puts on an apologetic smile.
"But, all in all, it did went pretty good! Your parents visit went smoothly, I know that my disguise works, and you have improved your relationship with your parents.
You want to respond but you realize she is right.
You sigh.
"Never drag me through something like this again. It worked out better than I expected, but I aged 20 years today. Yeah, you did good. That will do, horse, that will do."
She makes a happy whinny
"And all it took us was the magic of friendsh..."
You glare at her
"Don´t push it!"
Later that evening.
You sit together on the couch.
Celestia smiles at you.
"Anon, now that we know that my disguise works like a charm, I will go out there and look for some kind of job. I have been a burden to you for too long. If I´m stuck here, I might as well make the best out of it."
You give her a sarcastic smile.
"A job? Really? Slow down, your highness, if you really want to go out in your disguise, we should do it together for the first time. You are still new to this world. You only know stuff from TV and the internet and thats not really representative. I suggest we do something simple tomorrow. Like going to the supermarket or the shopping street downtown. Something like that, that you get a feeling for how to interact with humans. I mean with normal humans, not my parents.
She lets out a chuckle.
"All right Anon. Foal steps. I look forward to it. You know, if I have to be marooned in another universe, I´m happy to be marooned with you."

Fin
For now.

>>30761144
>>30761160
>>30761172
>>30761185
>>30761211
>>30761231
>>30761259
>>30761280
>>30761310
>>30761322
>>30761338
>>30761354
>>30761369
>>30761391
>>30761400
>Someone dumped a story

Excellent! Have a bump while I read.

>>30762780
Very nice. Best pony, best princess, best waifu, and comfiest storytime greentext general are my favorite combination. Seriously.

>>30760979
Select few electrons get to exist around protons with certain energy levels
Just like a herd

File: 1503040118893.png (495KB, 1024x1033px) Image search: [Google]

495KB, 1024x1033px

>>30761400
Moar when?

>>30764258
When Celly figures out how to magic up a convincing phony ID.

In the US it's not exactly trivial to go out and just get a jorb, not if you're a magical nonhuman alien talking pony whatsit from another planet who doesn't have a green card or anything.

Also, imagining Human!Sunbutt as a bartender or a waitress at Waffle House is bringing me the keks.

>>30762780
>>30763596
>>30764258
>>30764429
Writefag here: thank you very much. I actually startet a follow up but it didn´t go anywhere, so I left it to be. If any one wants to continiue the story, youre welcome.

File: 1515398.png (71KB, 510x1005px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 510x1005px

Horse co-workers

File: hi, neighbor, everything is fine, my cries of pain were actually exclamations of joy as I fell into these thorns.png (578KB, 1280x725px) Image search: [Google]

578KB, 1280x725px

>>30767365
Horse neighbors

File: 1196370.png (1MB, 1099x2688px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1099x2688px

>>30767946
Horse guests

>>30767365
I would love to have him as coworker.

File: 1482468659267.jpg (181KB, 900x800px) Image search: [Google]

181KB, 900x800px

>>30768421
Yes.

>>30766465
Please write more even if it's not for this story.
But preferably for this story.

>>30769755
Thank you! Maybe I´ll post the fragment of the follow up story later here. Maybe we can togerther see how to salvage it.

File: IMG-20170504-WA0004.jpg (21KB, 229x343px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 229x343px

>mfw still waiting to someday wake up with a cute poner in my bed

>>30770612
Take naps. It will increase your chances.

>>30769896
I just hope you write more, I really like the Story.
I myself have never done writefagging and I'm not sure I could do such thing.

File: 759333.gif (70KB, 600x598px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 600x598px

>>30771611
>"Anonymous, why is it that these 'siesta' breaks are only traditional in Spain? I very much wish they were more popular."

File: dancing_pie.gif (7KB, 46x35px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 46x35px

pg 9 PiE bump

File: 1282522.png (1MB, 1800x1650px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1800x1650px

>>30772411
>"There's going to be a good reason not to take a siesta tomorrow. An entire continent full of humans is looking forward to a rare astronomical spectacle."
>"I suppose you are right, sister. I still would like if-"
>"It's not every day that we can get an unimpeded view of a sun's corona."
>"...Dost thou wish for another coup attempt? For this is how one inspires another coup attempt."
>"You're way too easy to tease."

Bumpan

File: 1502416335450.png (121KB, 609x551px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 609x551px

I want my own Horse Roommate.

>>30761400
My heart
This story was super comfy

File: large.png (1MB, 1280x931px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1280x931px

>>30775153
>"Choose me in my sister's stead! She snores terribly and does not do the dishes!"

>>30775446

But why do we have to decide? There can be two roommates! It would be like the Odd Couple, only with horses.

>>30775446
I traveled out to bumfuck Nebraska to watch the moon eclipse the sun. It's fucking obvious that I'm a luna-fag 4 lyfe

File: 1478158__safe_artist-colon-justsomepainter11_night+light_shining+armor_twilight+sparkle_twilight+velvet_baby_babylight+sparkle_baby+pony_canterlot_colt.jpg (490KB, 2732x2048px) Image search: [Google]

490KB, 2732x2048px

>>30768421

Horse in-laws.

>>30773350
>Luna is an Archer fan

This won't end well.

>"Lulu, we've done it! Twilight Sparkle has opened the portal to Earth!"
>"Huzzah! We shall obtain cocaine and automatic weapons for all!"
>"...Luna, are you sure that's a good--"
"You're not my supervisor!"

File: the horror.png (718KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

718KB, 1280x720px

>"..D-do you think it can talk?"
>'Uhh, excuse us, s-sir? Ma'am?'

File: 1502475199328.jpg (88KB, 800x533px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 800x533px

>>30775446
Why have only one adorable horse when you can have two or even three? Maybe one of them is already shitposting in this thread?

File: 1503266608064.jpg (86KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 500x500px

Bumpity bump

>>30771801
All right here goes nothing. Here is the continiuation of the Celly story I posted earlier:

Today is the day.
After yesterdays dreadfull visit of your parents you and Celestia in her disguise as "Tia Prince" will finally leave your apartment and go to town.
She is giddy as a school girl, you can tell as she paces around from room to room and giggles silly while you get ready. It makes you happy to see her this exited. As you put on your sneakers she prances into the hallway, actually she is hoovering a bit over the ground.
"You should get ready too, Tia. You don´t want to leave the house as a horse, don´t you?"
She stops in her track.
"Oh, yeah of course, Anon. Sorry, I´m so exited that I almost forgot."
The now familiar flash of light angulfs her and now she stands there again as the tall gorgeous woman she disguised herself as yesterday., She wears a similar outfit as yesterday, only with a light tan jacket and a black purse.
"I´m ready anon."-
"All right then.
You open the door and both of you step into the hallway.

>>30777396
Celly looks around with an expression of suprise and amazement. She looks at the scratchy linolium at her feet, at the flickering neon lights on the ceiling and at the dirty walls. You are a bit ashamed that you live in such a shitty apartment block, but Celly doesn´t mind, she soaks it all in as you two walk to the elevator. She oohs at the rumbeling movement of the old lift and chuckles at the horrible sharpie grafitties on the elevator walls. She looks amazed at the dusty hydroculture plants in the lobby and as you leave the building she aahs in amazement. Its a sunny but cold spring day. You stand in front of your apartment block, one of the smaller ones of the blocks in a rather shitty settlement in the northern part of F-city. Everything is concrete in different shades of grey, there is a small playground in one of the corners of the small square, where children haven´t been playing in years, its dirty and there are broken beer bottles everywhere, yet Celly looks around full of wonder.
This is going to be a long day....
You walk from your apartment block to the metro station. Its about 10 am, there are no people around since most people are at school or at work. You have a few days off from work, so you have enough time for Celly and her discovery of human land. As you walk through a small park you notice that the more you move away from your apartment, the more nervous Celly appears.
Suddely a Police helicopter flies low over your heads, rushes past like a giant ugly metal insect.
Celly lets out a shriek and jumps to the ground.

>>30777411
You look at her dumbfolded.
"That.. was just a helicopter."
- "I...I know. I saw those machines on TV and sometimes outside of the window, flying past. I just startled me."
You chuckle.
"It startled you?"
She snaps at you angrily.
"Yes. It startled me! Sorry, about that, but my species evolved from the type of skittish flight animals that your ancestors killed with rocks and sticks to eat them!"
You are a quite shocked by that outburst.
"Geez, I´m sorry, I...I didn´t mean to make fun of you!"
She sighs.
"No, I am sorry anon."
You look ar her worried
-"Tia, are you okay?"
-"I don´t know if I can do that, Anon. Frankly, I am nervous. No, not nervous, I am scared. Almost as scared as I am exited. I really want to learn about your world and your people at first hoof, but I don´t know if I am up to it. What if my disguise fails? What if I fumble again and use magic? I was able to handle your parents, but a city in which hundreds, maybe thousands of humans live? Thats something different."

>>30777422
-"Actually there are almost 2.5 million people living in this city with its suburbs, close to 6 million if you count the larger metropolitain..."
You stop your stupid blabbering mouth as you see that she grows pale and her eyes are widening in shock.
"So many humans in ONE city...?!?! All of Equestria has a population of 1-2 million ponies!"
-"Its okay. Look, who are you?"
-"Come again?"
-"Who. Are. You."
-"I..am Princess Celestia?!?"
- "You are Princess fucking Celestia. The ruler of Equestria. You have been around for centuries and are one of the most powerfull magical beings in your world and THE single most powerfull magical being in this world. You are charismatic and intelligent. You singlehanded defeated the monsters that are my parents. I have no doubt that there is anything in this world that you cannot handle!
You reach her your hand.
"Also, you have me by your side. So are we going to do this or what?"
Tia looks at you and then she smiles.
"Yes. Of course. Thank you, Anon. Sometimes even somebody like me needs a friend. And I´m thankfull to have a friend like you by my side."
As you walk down to the Metro station you notice that she eased up much, she is not as giddy and curious as before. As you tap in on the touch screen of the ticket machine you see allready the train approaching.
You give Celly a crooked smile.
"Don´t worry, thats just a train."
She returns your grin.
"I know, we do have those in Equestria, Our designs are a bit less... utilitarian, thou."
You board the almost empty train and sit down on the plastic seats. Its a while to the city center, the train runs at first through the urban wasteland of flatbock settlements, suburban officeparks, industral zones and commercial areas. You take that route almost every day to work and back, usually you listen to Pink Floyd or something. Celestia looks out of the window and is mesmerized by the urban sprawl.

File: IMG_20150829_221420.jpg (1008KB, 1913x1080px) Image search: [Google]

1008KB, 1913x1080px

>>30777436
Nice man!

>>30777436
You lean over to her.
"Here comes the money shot"
The train rushes past an Ikea onto a bridge over a motorway, giving view to the downtown of F-city down in the valley, the skyscrapers with their glass, aluminium and sandstone facades stand proudly in the middle of the sprawling chaos around them. This view is beautyfull in its ugliness, but also brief, since as soon as the train has passed the bridge the skyline dissapears again behind a factory for missle guidiance systems.
"It is amazing."
Celly looks at you
"This is what fascinates me about your species, Anon. You did all this without any magic. You can´t control the wather like the pegasi, guide sun and moon like alicorns or have a magical bound with plants or animals like earth ponies. Just your hands and brains. This is all you have and yet you created amazing marvels in science, technology, arts, medicine and philosophy.“
She furrows her brows and looks down.
But at the same time humans comitted unspeakable artrocities in their history. Evils Equestrians couldn´t even dream of in their worst nightmares. You are one confusing species."
She is silent again and looks out of the window again.
You continiue your ride into the city. After a few stations a mother with a baby carriage tries to get into the car, you get up to assist her.

>>30777473
You are Celestia now

Anon is helping a mother with he baby carriage. You are impressed by that little, but compassionate gesture. You notice that the older human filly... no girl, of that mother comes up to you and looks at you. Gosh, you didn´t knew, human foals were that adorable. She must be about 3-4 years old, you can´t really estimate that. She has a pink plush unicorn under her arm, you chuckle at your self as you notice that it looks a bit like a chubby version of Cadance. The girl stares straight at you.
...
You wonder why she is staring at you like that, its kinda making you uncomfortable. You give her a nervous smile.
Nothing.
This is starting to creep you out. You begin to wonder if your disguise isn´t working properly, or, worse, if human foals have somehow the abillity to se though such disguises.
Suddenly the girl speaks.
"You´re pwetty!"
You are so taken off guard that you blurt ou stupidly
"I`m using the train! Are you using the train too?"
The girl looks confused and then runs back to her mother.
You facepalm as Anon returns.

>>30777498
You are Anon again.

You saw Celly with the little girl.
"Hey, it seems you made a friend!"
Celly looks at you distressed.
"Anon, is my disguise still working? She was staring at me in a way that made me worried if I still look human."
You are a bit amused.
"No, no, don´t worry. Your disguise is still perfect. She was just curious. Human children at that age do that with strangers, because the don´t know that its kinda rude and disturbing to stare into the soul of others like that."
Thats one of the reasons why you don´t really like children.
Celly lets out a sigh of relief.
"Goodness, for a moment I was panicing there. You know, the souls of children are pure, thats why they can sometimes detect things like that."
Cellys face brightens up.
"But that means the disguise IS perfect. If even a child can´t see through it, adults will in no way be able to do so."
You can´t really follow her train of thought there, but you are glad to see that her tenseness falls almost completely off her.
Meanwhile the train has enterd the tunnel, and after a few more stations you are at your destination, the vast underground station of H-Plaza, the central square of F-city, you get off the train with most of the passengers. The station is full of people of all ages and ethnicies. Celestia is again absolutely captured by the sights and sounds.

File: 1503311596469.png (113KB, 400x287px) Image search: [Google]

113KB, 400x287px

>>30777498
>"I`m using the train! Are you using the train too?"

File: 1495813976968.gif (383KB, 470x471px) Image search: [Google]

383KB, 470x471px

>>30777396
Thank you kind Anon, Appreciate it!

>>30777524
On the the escalator (with which she has just a little problem with to get onto), she suddlenly scrunches her face in disgust.
"Goodnes me, what is that stench?"
-"That, my dear is the lovely smell of the subway: an exiting and revolting melánge of stale basement air, human excrements of all sorts, old fast food, burnt rubber and poor personal hygene of some of the passengers. If you use the trains every day you don´t even notice it any more."
You walk though the vast, murky messazine with all of the shops and fast food places and proceed to go up to the plaza. All around you are countless of people, around the square are large offce and commercial buildings with video screens and advertising of all kinds, people stream into stores and fastfood restaurants. You look at Celly, she is visibly impressed.
"So, what do you wan´t to do? We could go to the historic city center near the river, there is the city hall and the cathedral, also several museums and art galleries."
You point down the large shopping street that ends on the plaza.
"Or we could walk down Z-street, there are the big department stores and one of the biggest shopping malls of the city."
You turn around and point at cluster of skyscrapers behind you.
"Or we could go to the business district, in this area is the opera and the theater, also on top of that skyscraper is an observation deck from which you have a good view over the city."
Celly thinks for a moment.

>>30777552
"I think the tower with the observation deck is a good idea, I can get an overview of the city that way."
The two of you walk across the square and enter the street that leads to the business district. There is some heavy traffic. Celly looks at all the cars, trucks and busses.
"It is like Manehattan, only that the carts are powered by motors, not pulled by ponies."
You look at her in confusion.
"Wait, ponies ride in carts pulled by other ponies? Do they take turns, or is that some kind of master and servant thing?"
-"What? No, its... It is a service industry, and ponies pull carts as their job, but... It IS kinda weird. You got me there anon, how the hay did that happen? I have to consult the royal archives on the historic background of this as soon as I get back. Ponies have been doing that since long before I was born."
She is still deep in thought about this as you arrive by the skyscraper with the observation deck. Its a 40 floor tall glass cylinder with an antenna on top. The most famous thing about this builing is that there is a tv studio of the local TV station on the top floor, they are always broadcasting their news from there with the skyline panorama in the background. You enter the lobby of the building a nd Celly is allready captured by the modern architecture and the decor. You join a group of asian tourists (who look at Celly amazed, since they probably have never sees a woman this tall before) and go to the express elevator to the observation deck. The elevator is really fast and smooth running, really something different from the rattleing mess in your apartment block. You look at Celly, she looks surprised and a little queasy as the lift shoots up and pushes your guts into your shoes.
At the top you step outside onto the windy circular platform. The view is breathtaking (You just realize that you have never actually been up here, even thou you live in this city for years).
Celly is stunned by the view.

>>30777581
The two of you just stand there for several minutes. Celly lets it all soak in.
"This is an amazing view, Anon. You told me this city was big, but this... It almost goes to the horizont on all directions! What is this? Is this a railway station?"
-"Yeah, the central station. That large building down below at the square is the metropolitain opera and theater complex. Over there is the university, that building there is the museum of natural history. Over there is the historic city center, you can see the tower of the cathedral there. There, beyond the forest is the international airport and there is the stadium..." -"What is that large area over there?"
You get a little embarrased.
"That..well... That is the horse racing track..."
You quickly look for a distraction.
" Hey, look there to the north. Do you see the blocks on the hills at the foot of the mountains? Thats where we live"
After about 20 Minutes you sit down on a bench.Celly lets out a sigh.
"Thank you for taking me here Anon. It kinda opend my eyes how little I realized how big this world is and how little I know yet. Adapting to this place may take longer than I thought."
You lay your hand on her arm.
"It will take some time, thats true, but you will manage. You´re a big girl after all. Also you can be sure that I will support you as much as I can."
You look on your watch.
"Huh, its lunch time allready. We should grab a bite to eat. Where do you want to go?"

Thats all I have so far. Does anyone have ideas how to continiue this story?

>>30777609
>they go get some pizza or whatever
>while waiting for their food some chads Start flirting with cel
>she at first thinks its funny, but soon grows tired of it
>Anon tries to shush them away
>notworking.jpg
>almost get in a fight
>cel somehow stopps it (magik? Inhuman strength? Dunno)
>they go home
>fucc?
Thats how i'd prob write it, but i'm retarded so you should probably not do it this way

File: Celestia_is_derpy_when_shes_human.jpg (110KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

110KB, 1024x768px

>>30777727
Good ideas.

Also, maybe a little opportunity for characterization.

>human!Sunbutt has the instincts and reflexes of a prey creature
>probably doesn't eat meat, may not like the smell
>vegetarian maybe? maybe not 100%, can't bake all those cakes without eggs & dairy products
>we know she's a big eater and has a sweet tooth

This could even be played for comedy.

>you walk into your favorite restaurant
>Bu Fe Chinese, of course
>get a table for two, for the buffet
>oh shit, what are you doing, Tia?
>she's hijacked the dessert cart
"Tia, I'm not sure--"
>"I'm hungry, okay?"
"Sunny, honey, are you sure you can eat all that?"
>"I eat more than this all the time."
"Yeah, but most of the time you're, um, different."
>"Trust me. I know what I'm doing."
>an hour later she's collapsed over the table surrounded by empty cake pans and pie plates
>her face is smeared with chocolate icing
>the wait staff is agog
>other patrons are staring too
>she lets out a ladylike small belch
>you're definitely gonna leave a bigger than usual tip today
"You okay there, sweetie?"
>her response is another belch
"Am I gonna need to put you on a hand truck to get you home?"
>she sticks her tongue out at you

>>30777727
>>30777996
Those are some neat ideas. So where should they go for luch? Sandwich shop? Chinese buffet? Sushi? Burgers?

>>30778143
He wealthy enough for something like sushi? Considering he lives in a crappy little apartment i'd say something cheap like a sandwitch shop, or any fastfood restaurant near them.
If he has enough money, chinese buffet sounds gr8

>>30777543
Also thank you for noticing this joke.

>>30778173
Well, Sushi well set Anon back financially but he wants to treat Celly with something special. But chinese buffet is also a good compromiise since they often have lunch specials for 12 Euro or so.

>>30778193
Then buffet is probably the best solution.
>cel gets a mental breakdown when she sees piles of meat from animals considered pets back in equestria

>>30778209
Well, she is on earth for a year now, she knows humans are meat eaters, it will still be a bit nauseating for her.

>>30778224
Ay, but i don't think she'd expect something like dog or catflesh
Were talking chinese food after all

Or how about some creamy cooked colt cock?

File: 1381220450000.jpg (87KB, 620x349px) Image search: [Google]

87KB, 620x349px

>>30778768
Fucken forgot image

>>30778224
Maybe. She is an herbivore with prey-creature reflexes and instincts, yes.

At the same time we see horses occasionally eat meat when they can get it, as many other species will.

I wonder if she'd object to seafood. Shrimp, maybe, some kind of mildly flavored shrimp dish. They're tiny arthropods, not even chordates. Neurologically speaking they're basically bugs, which horses IRL have no problem swatting with their tails. And they're tasty and nutritious and low in fat.

Maybe a mild, not very spicy shrimp and vegetable stirfry, to start? I get the impression Sunbutt is a big eater with a ridiculous sweet tooth. In the show do we ever see her eating anything savory?

>in the Chinese buffet with your big alicorn marefriend
>currently disguised as a tall and attractive human female
>she doesn't like really spicy foods
>waiter recommends today's special, shrimp chow mein, "California style"
>it's a very simple shrimp, mushroom, carrot, water chestnut, and noodle stir-fry with just a bit of scallion, garlic, ginger, and soy sauce, maybe the tiniest pinch of cayenne pepper
>she likes the crunchy egg rolls with their cabbage and carrot filling
>you show her how to hold the chopsticks
>you show her how to push the sticky rice together into clumps she can pick up using the chopsticks
>she appears to like the shrimp dish
>she gives you that little smile, and nudges your ankle with her foot under the table
>where to take her Saturday night, you wonder
>she likes some Italian cuisine but when you tried to make pasta e aglio the way Mom did, the smell of the garlic nearly ran her out of the house
>her sense of smell is a lot more sensitive than yours
>probably because she's really a horse
>she stood upwind and stared in disbelief as you ate spaghetti with fried garlic cloves and parsley
>you asked jokingly whether she was a vampire
>she's really more of a succubus, apparently
>if we know what you mean

>>30778772
Thats actually horrible.

>>30777996
To harp on this point. Celly being a pret creature means her field of view switching to binocular is going to be really hard on her along with perhaps the reduced hearing and smell. She will feel far more voulnerable as a predator if she keeps herbinstincts because she is in a body that had little fear of predators and thus lacks the adaptations of a crature that regularly gets attacked and eaten

File: horse-is-gettin-real-tired-of-your-shit.jpg (85KB, 499x740px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 499x740px

>>30779158
That gets into questions of how much of her change is an illusion and how much is real. Maybe she's a b&thro humanoid mare-thing retaining her wings and horn, causing her to duck under doorways that look more than sufficiently tall for her.

Also, poners in the show seem to have binocular vision, pretty much. Real world equines don't, so much.

In human(oid) form she might notice the lack of other adaptations. Among mammals there are two basic forms the organ called the spleen can take. Most mammals have a filtration spleen--all it really does is pick up worn-out or dead red blood cells, to be broken down so that their hemoglobin and iron can be reused to make fresh new ones. Horses have an enormous and complex spleen with big sacs inside it. A third of their red blood cells most of the time, pre-oxygenated, even partially pre-charged with glucose (though red blood cells are not the only method the body uses to carry glucose to where it is needed) are held ready there, so that under proper stimulus (i.e., adrenalin) for emergencies they can be dumped into the bloodstream all at once to facilitate that RUN AWAY FROM THE SCARY THING RIGHT NOW reflex prey animals have. This is one reason horses can run so fast for so long. Without it--I wonder whether Sunbutt would feel weak and helpless the first time she got startled in human form and start hitting the gym.

>>30777727

>Cellie stares at them. This is growing tiresome.
>They're not taking "No" for an answer. If anything, they're getting more hamhanded and insistent, and they're actively enjoying her discomfiture. They're following you both down the street.
>She's at a loss. Suddenly her eyes settle on a discarded steel bar, apparently some sort of machine part, sitting in a box next to the garbage.
>That will do nicely.
>She delicately steps over to it and picks it up. She turns toward her would-be suitors, holding it up in a "See this?" gesture.
>It's half a meter or so long, about six centimeters thick. She casually bends it into a U-shape as they watch.
>The cigarette falls from the nearest one's open mouth. They're staring. But she's not done yet. She puts her hands in the middle of the bar and squeezes, and the metal flows like putty as she crushes the steel.
>Dropped Cigarette suddenly realizes he's standing in a puddle of his own making.
>She holds it up in front of them, smiling. "It's been fun, but we really have to go. You've probably got somewhere to be, so...buh-bye."
>They fall over each other in their haste to escape as quickly as possible. She smiles and turns to you.
>You snort. "Show off." She sticks her tongue out at you.

>>30777524

Weird plot idea: what if Celly's human glamour doesn't really work on little kids and animals? Very small children still see her as a pretty pony princess and animals act a bit strangely around her. Like, if she's sitting on a park bench for a while, people will begin to notice that birds are sitting around her, along with dogs and cats, deer, raccoons, foxes, wild animals of all different kinds, as if they're drawn to her aura of "comfort" and "friendly."

File: Snow_White_and_the_birbs.png (249KB, 550x500px) Image search: [Google]

249KB, 550x500px

>>30780012
>animals act a bit strangely around her. Like, if she's sitting on a park bench for a while, people will begin to notice that birds are sitting around her, along with dogs and cats, deer, raccoons, foxes, wild animals of all different kinds, as if they're drawn to her aura of "comfort" and "friendly."

Celly or Fluttershy? That seems more Fluttershy's thing.

Also, see image.

File: 786081__safe_artist-colon-baekgup_lyra+heartstrings_bench_music+notes_pony_scene+interpretation_sitting_sitting+lyra_smiling_solo_unicorn.png (67KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 300x300px

>>30780080
...also, when little kids see her sitting on a bench, do they see her sitting like Lyra?

>>30780121

I like it. Have this little mental image of a teeny little girl running over to her and crawling up in Celly's lap to hug her. Mommy comes over and apologizes while the little girl keeps saying the wingy-unicorn is so soft and warm, and Celly just smiles and tells her it's okay, happens all the time.

>>30780080

Maybe Earth animals act a little differently than Equestrian animals? Like, she can't really talk to them, but they're calm in her presence and think she's really awesome to hang around for some reason. A little different than Flutters.

Anon my eyes hurt

>>30761400
Very good. I liked it very much. I look forward to more should the mood suit you.

Writefag here. Those are some very good ideas, lads.
>>30779112
Nice one, I think I can somehow integrate that into the story.
>>30779158
>>30779213
Question is how far equestrian ponies, especially alicorns, have evolved from other equines. In my headcanon its basically adifference like between humans and lower primates. Many of the body funktions horses have are regressed or dissapeared or became redundant. Ponies are definitively benacular, they likely lost their field vision when they skulls changed to house a growing brain. Their heads became more bulbous, their snouts shorter and the eyes moved from the sides to the front of the head, which is also a plus for communication as a sentinent species. Deep inside they probably still have their flight instincts, but since they are sentinent, rational beings they are less likely to go on a headless panic (maybe in groups), than trying to analize a threat and confront it another, more rational way.
Celly transformation is 100% human, I described her in the first part of the story, she still does turn heads because she is so damn huge (close to 2 meters) and exoticly attractive.
>>30779932
Hehehe, I might ad something like this
>>30780012
>>30780080
>>30780121
>>30780205
Now here is an idea, I had the scene with Celly and the little girl in the subway, but whit she actually DID see through her disguise? Anon basically dismissed it as children being creepy little fucks staring at people, but what if that girl saw Celestia as what she is? This has potential.

>>30780875
> muh poners have forward facing vision
you are factually wrong and if you ever payed attention you would know it. News flash faggot, humans cant see directly to the side of them, let alone having almost 280 degree vision if not more. Celestia herself has even more prey like eyes than normal ponies

You are factually wrong and should look at sone clips and ask yourself if you would be able to see human eyes from that angle

>>30779213
See>>30780953
You fag.

File: get_up__princess__by_crestfallencelestia-d7t2ya7.jpg (104KB, 819x976px) Image search: [Google]

104KB, 819x976px

Luna took your bed.
What do?

File: 1515480__safe_screencap_twilight+sparkle_triple+threat_spoiler-colon-s07e15_cute_face_smiling_solo.jpg (25KB, 411x417px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 411x417px

>>30780953
>says poners on MLP don't have human-like faces and binocular vision

File: you_have_to_eat_all_the_eggs.jpg (200KB, 970x1139px) Image search: [Google]

200KB, 970x1139px

>>30782272
Offer her breakfast when she wakes up.

>>30782272
Snuggle.

File: 1500436551132.jpg (220KB, 900x510px) Image search: [Google]

220KB, 900x510px

>>30782383
Always a hearty kek

Celly story writefag here. Lets fucking do this:

Celly thinks about it for a moment.
"To be honest, Anon, aside from the stuff you brought home I know nothing about earth food. I read some stuff on the internet, but there are so many different specialities on earth that it is hard to make a choice. I really liked the chinese food you brought, like that fried rice."
You smile and nod "Yeah, chinese food is great. Okay, down there near the railwaystation is a great chinese restaurant, they have an "all you can eat" buffet at lunch time, that may be a good chance for you to try different dishes."
Celly chaps her hands.
"That is a wonderfull idea, Anon! I would love to try what they have there!"
You take the elevator down and walk to the restaurant, it takes you about 10 minutes, Celly is super giddy again. You really love it when she gets that exited. To see a being as powerfull and wise as here getting exited like a little kid is adorable. The restaurant is called "Dragon Palace", and the interior shows. Chinese kitsch from celing to carpet. Its a bit much for you, but Celly marvels at the decor. There are few other customers in this large restaurant, just a few office workers on their luchbreak and a couple of chinese tourists. you take a booth in a quiet corner of the restaurant, where you can talk in private. You order your drinks (celly takes a large glas of Ice Tea, you a Coke) and proceed to the buffet. She is almost overwhelmed by the vast selection of dishes. You take a plate and start to fill your plate with some fried noodles and eggrolls. As you return to your table Celly is still looking puzzled.
"Just go, Anon. I´ll need another minute."
You shrug and walk to the table. A few minutes later Celly sits down too, her plate is full with a mountainof different dishes, it looks more like a car accident than a meal.

File: 898.png (459KB, 680x680px) Image search: [Google]

459KB, 680x680px

>>30783188
>it looks more like a car accident than a meal.
Top Kek
Luv it, plez continue

>>30783188
"You know, Tia. "All you can eat" is NOT meant as a challenge..."
- "I just want to try everything!"
- "Okay, you can take Seconds. You don´t need to take all at once."
-"Oh, I will take Seconds and probably Thirds." It all looks so amazing!"
- "Besides, there is a lot of meat on your plate, will you really eat that?"
- "Yes, sure. Why not?"
This kinda shocks you.
"Er, you eat meat? But, I thought.."
-"Hm? Oh, no. Equestrians are unlike earth horses omnivores. Eating meat has gone abit out of fashion in recent centuries, thou. But thats a merely cultural thing. Fact is that no species could develop a large brain without the protein from meats."
She sees the shock on your face.
"Oh, sorry. I didn´t mean to offend you, since you are a vegetarian."
You snap out of it.
"Whu..what? But I´m not a vegetarian!"
-"But you never bring meat home."
-" I never bought meat because I thought that you are a herbivore and didn´t want to offend you!"
She blinks and and then starts laughing. You can´t help it and start laughing too.

>>30783290
You have a very long and fun lunch. Celly telly you about an event called "Grand Galloping Gala" which is usually a terribly stuffy event, but was in recent years always shook up by her students friends. Inbetween she takes not only Thirds but even Fourths, the plate is always filled to the brim with food. You think you saw the waiters glancing at you angrily, for abusing the "All you can eat" offer like that. Celly is finally stuffed, she pats her belly that looks rather full and lets out a small, quite unladylike belch.
"Oh, pardon me. That was brilliant, Anon. I think the shrimp chow mein was my favorite. We should come here more often. You know what? When I have a job and have my first salary I´ll invite you!"
-"Yeah, about that. I´ve been thinking about that. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I don´t think you taking a job, just like that is possible."
-"Hm? Why is that?"
You sigh
"Well, first of all because you don´t exist."
She looks at you like you are an idiot.
"Anon, I do exist. I´m sitting right here and talk to you."
You groan.
"No, no thats not what I mean. I mean you do not exist in the system. No birth cerfiticate. No social security number, no health insurance. No ID-card and no passport. You are not registerd anywhere, because you are not from this universe. To the state you don not exist. But you need to exist, you all those things and more to take a job."
Celestia folds her hands in front of her face and furrows her brows.
"I see. This IS a problem, and not a small one. Ugh, I knew why dealing with burocraty was always the least favorite part of being the princess of Equestria... Well, I thnk I´ll need to read it up online when we are back at home. The internet is probably the most amazing invention you humans have ever created, Anon."
You shake your head.
"Forget that. I don´t think reading up what you need to be registered will be enough. I mean for starters what do you write when you are asked for your age? 2000 years?"

>>30783709
She lets out a short amused snort.
"I am 33. Well, technically."
-"What the what now?"
She giggles
"Let me explain. Unlike what many of my more pios little ponies believe, my sister and I are not immortals. We only age at a much slower speed than other beings. A century is about a year biologically to us. That means in a millenium I age about a decade. Now Luna and me were born as normal unicorns. I turned into a regal alicorn when I was just sweet 19 years old. That was a little over 1400 years ago, so I have aged 14 years. So I am biologically 33 years old."
You stare a her for several minutes with an open mouth before shaking your head.
"33, whatever. But your place of birth? Your school education? Your family? Everything is connected with everything. If that is not in the computers, you are not there. And you can´t take a job. I´m sorry."
She leans over to you and smiles her beautifull gentle smile.
"We, will figure something out, Anon."

>>30783794
Where do I go from here? Any suggestions?

>>30783804
>go home
>on way meet thugs?
>cel beats the shit outta them
>maybe underaestimates the amount of magic her disguise and ass kicking consumes
>her disguise beginns to flicker
>try to get back home before it completely fails

>>30783855
Not a bad idea. What else?

>>30783968
If cel is able to fake her identity sucessfully, i'm not really sure what kinda job she'd get. Probably no office job, since she doesn't seem to like these kind of jobs...
I think she would work in the social sector, nothing big probably.
>everyone at her workplace tries to flirt with her
>anon, who's kinda in love with her tries to suppress his feelings while near cel
>dies a bit inside everytime cel goes to work
>expects her to someday fuck some dude at work
Although the love thing is kinda cliche

>>30783804
I'm liking things so far. Magic energy has been mentioned already. How much energy does it take Tia to conjure matter; more specifically her clothes? Even if she is just manipulating existing matter there still should be a Thaun cost. We know Anon isn't 'well off' but maybe they could swing by a shopping center/mall and get her some clothes to help conserve her energy. Could also provide oppourtuinities to draw societal comparisons. What she's seen on TV isn't necessarily reality or current IIRC.

>>30783855
Personally, I don't know if I'm ready for that type of conflict yet. Not that there shouldn't be but; for me, the story's world is still freshly built right now.

>>30784070
I'm a mushy Anon. I like romance stories and I wouldn't mind them falling for eachother. Cliche though it is; I'm ok with it.

>>30784178
Other anon is right thought, should giv'em some more time together before anything serious happens

>>30784290
Hmm, good point. It's only been a few months in story right? Also, there isn't the "when in Rome" answer here as there usually is in AiE. How is this Anon going to come to terms with the fact he's falling for a Pony Princess much less be intimate with one? Plot points for later on in the story of course.

>>30784322
There's also the teeny tiny problem that even if she shares his feelings for him that she'll someday return to equestria, leaving him devastated,
unless she brings him with her or she can't return home.

>>30784360
Eyup, there's that too. I'd imagine he'd go with her. I know I would.

>accomplishing that
Again thinking farther down the line. I wonder if Ley Lines are a thing in this story. Fanon I've come across has Ley Lines in Equestria running along the ground. What if; and forgive some creative liberty, they do exist on Earth but in the air. Anon's apartment is in a multi-story building and Celestia appeared where two Ley Lines happened to cross. The Earth ley lines are few and far between AND they move. (I know, I know I'm stretching creative liberty there.) Which is why Celestia doesn't sense them AND why she can't sense magic in anything because things are not in contact long enough to be imbued. Anyway, Celestia figures this out but doesn't tell him for reasons; hers, his, both. She tells him once he confesses and said he wishes he could go with her if a way for her to return is found. He laments that it's likely not possible. But he can they just have to figure out where the next crossing of ley lines will be. Say it'll be the observation desk in 'x' amount of time.

wow, that was a bit of text there.

>>30784070
>>30784178
>implying Celestia isn't a lovable lady, regardless of which species she is at the moment
>implying half of us aren't in love with her already

Writefag here, I´m namefagging now as a character I play in a RPG because that simplifies stuff
>>30784070
Thats also a nice Idea I´ll put a pin in that for later.
>>30784169
Well, the clothes are part of the transformation, so it doesn´t really make a difference if she transforms with or without clothes. But I get what you are going for. Shopping with celly is a cool idea and I was actually going to write that Anon and her go to the shopping street downtown to check out some stores.
>>30784178
>>30784322
>>30785631
Anon has kinda fallen for Celly he doesn´t realize it yet. Celly does at least really like anon, but she denies herself from falling in love with a mere mortal because it has broken her heart in the past to see them age and die off. I try to work the romance aspect into the story thou.
>>30785631
Ley lines are an interesting concept, but I was thinking more "weakspots". In Anons living room is a weakspot in the border between the universes. Weakspots between the different universes are basically everywhere and weith enough magical energy you can push through them.

All in all, I´m very happy and thankfull that you guys like my silly little story And I will try to give you more.

File: HumanTia greentext.jpg (120KB, 1193x2000px) Image search: [Google]

120KB, 1193x2000px

>>30786877
Oh yeah, drawing of human Celly I did a while ago. Its not that good because I´m not really a good artist, but gives you an idea.

>>30786992
Oh noes, she's got a big black zit in the middle of her forehead!

...also, what, is she seven feet tall, or is Anon just in the distance, or something?

And yes, that is the body of someone who has cake for breakfast.

...seriously, good jorb. I'm just busting your balls because this is 4chan and we're contractually required to.

>>30730523
>>ywn miss the eclipse because you had to use the bathroom really bad
>>Luna will never reset the eclipse so you get another chance to see it

How much of a limp wristed faggot are you?

>>30786877
>energy to transform
Ah, I see what you mean. The train of thought that lead me there was when she conjured the box and its contents for the magic show.

>“'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” -Alfred Lord Tennyson
I find a variant of that in many of the fics I read. Either of the sisters finally gives in and chooses to enjoy the time they have with their loved one.
>or....
How about we find that Anon ages the same rate as Celly when he goes to Equestria? Sorry, like I said, I'm a mushy Anon who's a hopeless romantic. I blame my inner Rarity.

>weakspots
Interesting as well. Kind of like spots where one could push through the veil separating realities.

>>30786992
I can imagine Anon's face the first time seeing her. kek.

Thank you for sharing. I'm enjoying the ride so far and I look forward to reading more.

>>30787174
>zit
kek. The first thing I thought in text and more so now seeing the pic is that it looks like a Bindi.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bindi_(decoration)

>>30786877
Hope you continue the story on the same level of quality like previous posts, really liking it this far

File: deadly equines.jpg (32KB, 288x437px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 288x437px

>>30783290

Fun fact: horses, deer, sheep and cows aren't above a snack of meat every now and again, and not merely because hunger or nutritional deficiencies drive them to it. This has been known since ancient times.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQOQdBLHrLk

CSB: when I was a kid, we raised horses and occasionally allowed them out of their pasture to graze in the rest of our fenced-in property. When we cooked out, it wasn't at all uncommon for them to come over and beg for a pork chop or a hamburger or two.

>>30787174
Hehehe. Thank you and don´t worry, the bants are one of the reasons I´m here.
>>30787221
Thank you very much. I have the headcanon that Celly had relationships in the past but watching them all grow old and die was so heartbreaking for her that she decided that she is throu with this and devotes all of her life and her love to the entirety of her people. I´m still trying to figure out an romantic angle on this.
Thats exactly the idea I had for the weakspots. They are everywhere, location where two or three (or more) of the countless alternative realities almost touch. Celly was actually lucky not materialize at a weakspot in outer space or at a planets core.
Well, I think I did a decent job describing his reaction when he fist saw her like this, kek.
>>30787231
Thats true. The thing is that I saw humanisations of ponies before where the unicorn (and alicorn) characters had that spot instead of a horn in their human form. I thought that was a neat idea.
>>30788066
Thank you! I will try my best!
>>30788533
Wow, I didn´t actually know that. Thats amazing.

>>30788533
There was an animated .gif in another thread of a horse chasing a baby chick around the pasture and eating it. The actions of the horse were very obviously deliberate, to the extent that an animal's can be. Just "oh look, something on the ground over there is moving!" and then NOM.

It got posted in one of the Reckless/War Poner threads and someone responded with a surreal greentext in which the (talking) horse said, meh, it was just a McNugget that hasn't been processed yet.

File: [turkey in the straw plays].gif (495KB, 500x283px) Image search: [Google]

495KB, 500x283px

>>30728686
Lux is never going to finish strawberry's story

File: HumanTia head.jpg (62KB, 681x1000px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 681x1000px

I will proceed with the sory soonish. I just have to get in the mood. In the meantime have another humanized Celly I drew at work today.

>>30788859

In at least one episode, we've seen that fishing poles exist in Equestria. Fluttershy is also seen feeding fish to some of the animals she cares for. They're at least familiar with, and comfortable with, the process of catching fish for food.

And Applejack raises pigs. Equestrian cows are sapient and seen talking and cheese and butter obviously exist there, so they probably sell or trade their milk to ponies, or even make their own dairy products to sell. And chickens lay eggs, so even though they're not truly sapient, they're still useful alive. But pigs are mostly useful to farmers AFTER they're dead. While they CAN be used to clear land, or as pets, or to locate truffles and the like, their primary purpose is to serve as a source of meat, so I really can't think of a reason why they'd be on a working farm unless they're being raised for butchering, or to sell or trade to those who DO butcher animals for meat--possibly griffons or dragons or something we haven't seen yet. Its even possible that at least some ponies occasionally eat pork themselves. I seriously doubt that the show's writers put that much thought into it, but the implications seem clear enough.

My own dumbass headcannon is that poners eat fish and shellfish, at least, so you could probably get anchovies on your pizza and fried fish is a thing. Obviously your mileage may vary.

File: HumanLuna head.jpg (74KB, 731x1000px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 731x1000px

>>30789096
Yeah, thats more or less my dumb headcanon too.
They are obviously omnivores and eating meat or at least fish, diary products and eggs (all of the eggs!) is a thing.
I´will try to write more later, have to do something first. Have a humanized Luna I drew in addition to the humanized Celly today in the mean time.

>>30789412

Luna a cute

>>30789417
Thanks, her look is basing on a cute goth girl I saw on the subway the other day.

Lets go:

After you finished your lunch and payed the tab (and gave a nice tip for the annoyed waiters) you leave the restaurant and start to plan what to do next.
"I think I want to take a look at that shopping street." Celly said "I´m not really into fashion, but I´m interested in how stores and businesses here work. Also its a good opportunity to see how humans interact."
You agree
"Good idea. I need a new pair of pants also I want to browse the computer store."
You take the subway back one station to H-Square where you get out and walk into Z-street. On both sides of this wide pedestrian streets are tall department stores and shopping galleries. There are literally thousands of people here. Housewifes shopping, teenagers hanging out after school, street performers of mor or less dubious quality and tourists on the hunt for souvenirs. You head straight for departmentstore K, a ugly 8 story example of early 1980s postmodernism.
"They have pretty much everything here, clothes, household items, electronics, toys, food and on the roof terrace is a restaurant with a great view over the city."
As you walk in you pass the perfume department, you don´t like the smell, but you see that Cellys eyes are actually watering, her face a grimmace of disgust.
"This stench! This is terrible!"
You remember that her sense of smell is much more refined than yours. In this moment an overeager young salesgirl walks up to her.
"Hello Miss, would you like to sample the new fragerance "Seduction" by Enrique J? Its all the rage!"
Without a warning she sprays at Celly who is getting a coughing fit. You lead her to the escalator "Eh, no thank you. My girlfriend is allergic to perfumes, you know!" You give the poor girl an angry glance as you and your hacking and wheezing friend ride up to the first floor.
"Uh, my goodness. What was that. Is that the chemical warfare I read about?"
-"No, just the perfume apartment. I always hate going in there."

File: 1503171956825.png (186KB, 638x526px) Image search: [Google]

186KB, 638x526px

>>30789994
>I NEED MOOOORE!
go on please

>>30789994
You make a mental note that you will use the exit on the other side of the building later.
Celly is still wheezing.
"wait, are you telling me that women put that on voluntarinly?"
-"Heh, not all of them. Perfume can be quite plesant when used is small amounts."
Celly wipes the tears from her eyes.
"I have my doubts about that, Anon... Oh my! What is that?"
You are now in the lingerie department. May mannequins with all sorts of lacy bras, panies and garters. Rows of plastic legs with many different kinds of stockings are lined up along the aisle.
"My! This looks interesting. I think I read about this on the internet. Human women wear this to look sexy, right?"
She has completely forgotten about the perfume.
"Hey, Anon. What do you think? Would I look good in that?"
She gives you a teasing grin as she points at a very skimpy combination of a pink lace bra and panties with matching stockings and garterbelt.
"Pink isn´t really my colour, but I think I would look nice in this!"
You make the mistake of imagen her in that get up. You face turns bright hot red and you quickly move behind sales table to hide your errection. You have to think quick: Football, think about football. Dead puppies. Grandmas kisses that smell of Vic Vaporub and death.
"Uh, Tia, we should go upstairs. I really need a new pair of pants." Now more than ever, you think to yourself.
Finally the mens department on the second floor. You grab a couple of cheap slacks and some jeans and head to the fitting rooms.
Celly is visibly bored as she waits on a bench outside as you try on the pants. Finally you have decided which pairs to buy. As you leave the fitting cabiin, you notice with horror that Celly is gone.
"Psst, hey Anon!"
You turn around and see Celly peeking out of a fitting room. You walk over to her.
"Look at this."
She shoves the curtain to the side and you almost pass out. She has transformed herself into that hot pink underwear from downstairs.
"Gotcha."

>>30789994
>"Uh, my goodness. What was that. Is that the chemical warfare I read about?"
>-"No, just the perfume apartment. I always hate going in there."
kek.
I can sort of relate. I'm a bit sensitive to smells. I cannot stand to stay inside a Yankee Candle shop for more than a few minutes without risking a migraine.

>Trollestia
I hope she transformed herself into *wearing that hot pink underwear from downstairs. I draw the line at magical talking pastel equines you know.

>>30790314
You pull the curtain shut and try stay silent but with panic in your voice.
"Jesus, Mohammed and Buddha. W..w..what are you doing? Please, please change back before somebody sees you like that!"
She ansvers with a mocking pout.
"Aw, you are no fun."
She flashes back into her normal clothes and leaves the changing room.
"There. But I´ll remember that outfit for later."
She gives you a teasing wink.
You pay your pants. and move out of the departmentstore with a red head while Celly can´t stop herself from giggling all the time.
You know that she is mischievieous and has a goofy sense of hunor. You like that about her, at the same time you fear that this may be the end of you.
Outside she nudges you.
"C´mon, I´m sorry anon. It was a joke."
You sigh. You are not mad at her, you can´t really be mad at her.
"Its okay. You gave me quite a fight. If one of the salses people would have seen you like that, they may would have thought that you were trying to steal that underwear and they would have called the police.And since you would not have been able to identify yourslef, they may have arrested you and..."
You realize why that did upset yoz so much. That situation could have escalated quickly and may be they would have found out at the police station that she is not human, maybe they would have called the millitary or the space agency, because there is an alien posing as human.
You are scared to lose her.
Because you love her.
"Its okay, Celly. I need to relax. Lets go to the computer store. I want to show you some computers that are better than the old POS I have at home."

More tomorrow. I´m tired and have to get up early tomorrow.

>>30790493
Thats what I meant. Sorry its allready a little late for me.

>>30790596
Looking forward to it, thats some good shit!

>>30728686
hmmm

Bump before going to bed.
If this thread dies when i wake up i will cry a lot kill you
>if i wake up

File: 1499710704817.gif (2MB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 500x281px

>"Heh, can you believe Anon said this cart wasn't 'street legal'?"
>"Hahah, he just hates fun! Now hold on, we're getting on the 405."

Bumpering before going to work. Is there anything you guys want me to ad? Ideas? Suggestions?

>>30793112

I'd love to see Celly at a job interview. It seems to me she'd have pretty boss management, organizational and people (or poner)-skills, even if she doesn't have the paper to back it up. You don't run an entire nation for a thousand years or so without picking a few things up.

I'd also love to see her discovering Earth booze. Tipsy Celly antics would be EPIC!

>>30793112

A silly scene in a park with Cellie and a bunch of kids who can see her for what she really is?

>>30794029
I think about something where she can show her abilities. She is charismatic, smart and has a millenium of experience. It would be ridiculus if she couldn´t use that for her advantage. Also with her magical abilities she is basically a walking deux ex machina. That makes it kinda difficult to create conflict because she is just a tad bit OP.
I was thinking about letting drink alcohole in the restaurant, but they were having llunch and you normally dirk alcohole with dinner. I wonder if it will have any effect on her thou. She is a big girl and her metabolism is weird and magical. Maybe she would have to drink 10 bottles of vodka to get tipsy.
>>30794633
Cute idea. And the parents start wondering why all the kids run after that tall lady.

>>30795255
>She is a big girl

u u
u u

You go back onto Z-street. You try to stay calm but inside you are in turmoil. Just just realized tthat you not only care for Celestia, you actually are in love with her! This is terrible! This can´t work out! You are from different worlds. Literally!
Celly must sense that something is off, the leans over to you.
"Anon, are you all right? You are very quite all of sudden."
You smile at her.
"no, I´m allright. I´m just thinking about something."
Suddenly a little child stands in you way. Its a little girl, about 3 years old, staring up at Celestia. She smiles down at the girl.
"Hello, little one!"
The girl just points at Celly
"Unicron! Pwetty howsie!"
Celestia and you stare at each other in absolute horror. The mother of the girl runs up to you And picks her up.
"Oh, I´m sorry. I hope she didn´t bother you. She normally doesnt wander off like that:"
You force a smile.
"Oh, nevermind. Adorible kid!"
The mother nods and carries the girl away. The girl still points at Celly.
"HOWSIE! HOWSIE! UNICRON!"
As you look around you begin to notice that many very young children, toddlers up to 3-4 years are staring and pointing at you. No, they stare and point at Celestia.
Fuck.
Celestia turns and looks at you, her face a grimace of terror.
"They can see through my disguise! Anon, what are we going to do?!?!"
"Okay, stay calm. Play it cool. Those are very young children. Aduluts do not see through the disguise so we are good."
"Never mind them! Nobody listens to children at that age. Adults probably think that they have a very colourfull imagination, because the see a woman."
You breathe out.
"Listen. Its not perfect, it doesn´t matter. If adults see you as a woman, we´re cool. Are we cool?"
-"B..b..b..but the children.."
You almost shake her
"ARE. WE. COOL!"
She lets out a long breath.
"We...we are cool."
-"Good. Keep it together. You are doing great."
You continiue your shopping tour, you see from the corner of your eye how Celly is taking worried glances at children.

>>30795874
Sorry Screwed up there, forgot Cellys line at:
"Okay, stay calm. Play it cool. Those are very young children. Aduluts do not see through the disguise so we are good."
>-"But the children! They recognize my true form!"
"Never mind them! Nobody listens to children at that age. Adults probably think that they have a very colourfull imagination, because the see a woman."

>>30795893
And in twenty years one of them will write a creepypasta for /x/ about how all the children on the block that day saw a beautiful and mysterious white unicorn.

according to some versions of the legend, unicorns can only be seen by virgins

>>30795874
Finally you enter C-Store, a large computer and electronic hardware store. You show Celly around and explain everything. Oldfashioned desktop computers, notebooks, tablets, smartphones. You show her the 3D-printers and she marvels at this technology. She has a quick grasp at everything and is a quick learner.
"This is almost magical, Anon."
-"Yeah, I guess it is. In just 20-30 years Computers and the internet have changed this planet completely Communication, trade and businesses, industry everything is run by computers. Fortunes of billions of dollars are send around the globe in splitseconds. Infrastructure like hospitals or the power grid are run by computer systems as well as political elections. There is of course some risk in that as data can be manipulated more easily because it exists only virtually.
Celly lets out a barely audible "huh." and listens very closely.
"I personally think the benefits outweight the risks."
Finally you leave the store and go to the metro, not before grabbing some dinner at a burgerplace, since its getting evening. You smile at Celly.
"It feels really good to have a Bacon cheese, without having to fear to piss somebody of."
Chelly laughs her beautyfull laugh.
"I understand what you mean."
Then she warily glances at a toddler in a stroller next to her. The child smiles and points at her.
"Da!"
Finally you sit in the train home. You just notice how tired you are. Celly has fallen asleep in the seat next to you, you snile as she leans on you. She is kinda heavy. You are amazed that her disguise stays up even as she is asleep. Maybe she has to conciously deactivate it? With these though you too drift into sleep.

>>30796489
You jolt awake. Wait what is that? You look out of the window.
"OH SHIT!"
Celly waked up too.
"Mhm... Whu... Anon? Whats wrong?"
"We missed our station. We´re out in the fucking boonies. We have to get out and ride back."
You get out at the next stop. This sucks. You are quite out of the city, five stops past your station. Even worse, this is a very seedy neigborhood. The station is vandalized and there is trash everywhere. In the distens are some apartment blocks that are even dumpier than the one you live in. The next train will come in ten minutes. Celly tries to cheer you up.
"well, look at it that way, you wanted to show me your world. I think we can scratch this part of the list now."
- "Heh, you got a point there,,,"
After a few minutes you hear noise from the path to the apartment blocks. Its some teenage wannabe gangsters, bored, young, stupid, too much energy and testosterone, too little brains. As soon as they see you they come over and start getting in your faces. They want to start something and appearantly have found a target. "HEEEEEY, look at that big hoe! Your tits are fake arent they?"
The obvious leader of the group moves at Celestia. "Say, why don´t you just ditch this wanker and have some fund with me and my boys?"
To emphasis his point he is making a rude hip gesture at her. You try to reason.
"Look guys, we don´t want any trouble. We just want to go home..."
He gets in your face.
"Well, fuckface, its a bit late for that. This is our turf here. If you want to pass through here you have to pay some toll. Your in luck that we´ll accept some rounds with your hoe."
Celly snorts and gives him a pityfull look.
"I don´t think you could handle me. No offence, but I am way out of your league."
He doesn´t take that kind of rejection very kindly.
"Oh yeah? You think you´re fucking better than me, bitch? I´ll fuck your fat ass to death!"

>>30796696
Oh shit. Someone called Celly fat. This is going to get messy.

>>30796696
Celestia is incedibly calm. You could swear the air is getting chillier. She suddleny appears to be very menacing. She has suddenly a very scary aura. The ersatz-ganstas seem a little confused. Celly grabs a steel pole standing next to her on the platform that used to carry a station sign at some point. You can see how her fingers actually squeeze the metal like Play-Doh. Then she rips the pole with a goot chank of concrete out of the floor, the punks flinch at that. One starts running. Celestia ties a knot ito the steel pole, then ramms it to its place again. The ground shakes a little on the impact. She does all this while staring the leader straigh in the eyes. He is visibly shaking. The only one of his group that hasn´t run away yet. Stands behind him, wide eyed frozen in terror, on his pants a wetspot is growing around his croutch.
"A,,,a,,a...I´m not scared of you cunt!" The leader draws a gun from his jacket and points it at Celly.You are frozen with shock, but she just roll her eyes.
"Oh please."
He fires to shots. The bangs ring in you ears. The bullets hit something.
You look in disbelief as they flat out on some kind of invisible wall. You see that Celly made some kind of hand gesture mad the now harmless bullets slide down some kind of force field. after the bullets his the ground there is a minute or so silence. Celly still looks him in the eyes.
"I suggest you gentlemen take your leave. Go home and rethink your lives."
The leader shakes then the start screaming. He runs off screaming in headless panic. The last one of his companions snaps out of his paralysation and starts running too. You stare after them. Then you look at Celly, then you look back ath em as the dissapear in the night.
"Tia, remind me to NEVER piss you off."

Sorry about all the spelling errors. I will clean the story up when its finished. and post it on DA for those of you, who are interested.

>>30796876
just after you said that the train home arrives. Thank god, you didn´t want to wait for those stooges to take new courage and return, possibly with more of them. Celly doesnt say anything for the rest of the ride. Finally as you walk in the small park between the station and your home she speaks.
"Anon. Please tell me the truth. My butt is not that fat, is it?"
You blink and then you start laughing.
"No, its perfect! Don´t worry you are amazing the way you are."
She gives you an awkward smile. At home she transforms back into her regular form.
"Mmmmhm! This feels great! I like my disguise but, frankly, nothing beats this."
She stretches her wings and plops down on your couch.
"Anon, I need your notebook. I have some things to look up and some work to do."
-"Oh, okay? Sure!"
You watch her work on the computer. Its pretty od how she operates it. since she has no hands (in this form) she uses her magic to operate it. She is incredibly fast. You smile as you notice how much she impresses you. She looks at you.
"Anon, are you all right? You are acting stange again."
-"Ah, no, no. I just have things on my mind."
She gives you her gentle smile.
"Just tell me, we are friends I´m sure I can help you with that."
-"Oh. I well. I don´t know. I just..."
You just look at her. The sudden realisation throws a shadow on her face.
"Oh.
Oh Anon. Please don´t do that to the both of us. I value or friendship too much, please. I don´t want that."
You hear the pain in her voice
"Celly I know its stupid, but I think I lo..."
-"Don´t you dare to say that Anon!"
She looks down.
"Anon, I like you very much. I love you, but I only want to love you as a friend. I...I can´t do that.
Not again."
-"Again? What do you mean again?"
She looks with an expression of being caught. She just said more than she wanted to say.
She sighs.
"Anon, I told you earlyer today about the extremely prolonged lifespan that was given to us when my sister and me turned into regal alicorns."

>>30797239
She continiues, a deep sadness in her voice
"This is both a blessing and a curse. When I turned into an alicorn I had a coltfriend. I loved him deeply with my whole heart. When I became princess of Equestria, I made him my royal husband. You wont believe how deep our bound was. But as the years passed, he grew older, but I didn´t. He finally died at an old age and it broke my heart. Years later I found new lovers. All in all I had 8 husbands and 3 wifes over the years. I had in total 14 children with them. They gave me 35 grandchildren, and they gave me 72 great grand children."
Tears are welling up in her eyes.
"And I watched them all grow old and die. I outlived all of them. And everytime the pain was almost unbearable. They turned to dust centuries ago, but... but when I think of them it hurts as if they died yesterday. So please, Anon, I beg you. Don´t do this to me. I gave up on giving all of my love to just being almost a millenium ago and decided to give it to my little ponies instead, because I can´t bear the pain of losing my lover another time. Don´t do this to me!"
She breaks down in tears. You feel absolutely rotten.
"I´m sorry Celestia. I..."
You sit there in silence for several minutes.
"Are there still ponies that are ancestors of those relationships?"
She is a bit suprised by that question but she brightens up immideatly.
"Whu.. Why yes, of course. Hundreds of them all over Equestria. Most of them don´t even know that I´m their great-great-great-etc.-grandmother. But believe me, I keep track of them and I´m proud on each and every one of them!"
She looks up, as if she is looking at something in a distance.
"There are some of them of which I am especially proud of..."
You smile at her and get up.
"Goodnight Celestia."
"Goodnight Anon, thank you for being here for me."

She br

>>30797405
Thats it for today guys. Comments questions, suggestions are always welcome.

>>30797409
pastebin?

>>30797479
I am saving the story on my computer. That way I can fix gramma and maybe some sentences that look wierd. I will post the finished story later in my DA gallery.

>>30797405
>tfw you're friendzoned by a talking horse

>>30797650
>still better than having no poner as a friend

Nothing, guys? Is this thread dead?

>>30799937
A Microsoft Edge green is in the works

>>30799937

I've been tapped out because I've been called into work every night for the past two weeks except one. Frankly I'm overjoyed that you're writing such excellent green, at least SOMEONE is.

>>30797650
Well, she does have feelings for Anon, but she doesn´t want to allow it. She is scared of her own feelings.
>>30800153
>>30800381
Great! I´m looking forward to your stories.
I also would like to have some more comments on my story. I want to improve my writing and suggestions are always welcome. Also I did throw a lot of my individual headcanon into this story (and I mean A LOT). What do you think about that, should I maybe tone it doen?

File: sketch1503657242256.png (651KB, 1080x1080px) Image search: [Google]

651KB, 1080x1080px

Never dead. Happy birthday and thank you. Im no where near complete on my end because the things Im learning forced me to decide to make only one comic. When i feel prep prepared I'll upload here or even make a small thread about it. Always cherish this thread. Me and the other oldfags are here or in spirit.

>>30800527

Tone it down? In your moment of triumph?

Fuck no, greens are all about the autistic headcanon! If they weren't, they wouldn't be greens. I've written a metric shit-ton myself. Never done a PiE, but that may change.

But beyond that, I'd recommend working on your grammar and your spelling a bit. Your story so far has good pacing and plot and the characterizations are pretty good. Your ideas are also damned good, and I'm loving what you're doing with regards to magic and Celly's ability to adapt here. And the scenes with the kids are totally adorable You are diamond in the rough.

But...yeah. Spelling and grammar.

Keep writing, PLEASE. Somewhere around here there used to be some writefag's help threads. They may be on /trash/ now, but whether you seek them out, PLEASE keep this up. It's good and I'm enjoying reading it.

File: 350px-TFTM_Unicron_Lithone.jpg (23KB, 350x263px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 350x263px

>>30795874
>"Unicron! Pwetty howsie!"
>Celestia and you stare at each other in absolute horror. The mother of the girl runs up to you And picks her up.
>"Oh, I´m sorry. I hope she didn´t bother you. She normally doesnt wander off like that:"
>You force a smile.
>"Oh, nevermind. Adorible kid!"
>The mother nods and carries the girl away. The girl still points at Celly.
>"HOWSIE! HOWSIE! UNICRON!"

This is hilariously adorbs.

>>30800541
happy birthday you fag.
Love Dom

>>30800564
>someone else gets that

File: WrongNeighborhood.jpg (107KB, 1000x711px) Image search: [Google]

107KB, 1000x711px

Whew, back from work
>>30800554
Thank you very much for the kind words! I´m really trying my best, but yes, gramma is my weakpoint. When I type fast my crappy old keyboard tends to swallow letters and I also fuck up words and sentences sometimes. English is not my native langlauge, so be kind with me. I try to keep it up. Your words are very encouraging!
>>30800564
>>30801416
That one misspelling may or may not have been intentional...

You wake up late, its almost 11 am. As you go int the living room you see Celly asleep on the computer. You can´t help but smile at how adorable she looks. Yesterday was a crazy day.
At this moment Celly stirs awake.
"Mhm. Ah. Anon? Uh, good morning."
"Good morning Celestia. The coffee maker is allready running. You´ve been busy tonight?"
She smiles.
"Yes. I think I´ve got everything."
-"Can you tell me what you got?"
-"Oh you´ll see about that."
Suddenly she gets serious.
"Look, about last night. I don´t want to leave this unadressed. I like you, Anon. I like you very much. You are one of the most wonderfull persons I´ve ever met. And believe me I´ve met a lot of ponies, or people. The point is that a thing between us could never work out. We have to be reasonable. I will eventually return to Equestria, I must. My ponies need me."
It is a stab to your heart, but deep inside you know that she is right.
"I know. I wished you were wrong but you are right. I love you, but I know its foolish. Never mind that."
You put up a brave face.
"So tell me what your plan is!"
She looks at you for a long minute, as if she doesn´t really believe you that you are over it just like that, but then she smiles
After breakfast we go into the city again. I have figured out a way to "exist" in the system."
You are surprised, to say the least
"What? How?"
She smiles secretively
"Oh, you´ll see. At the end of this day Tia Prince is a citizen of this country.

>>30802896
After breakfast you are ready to go again. Celly has transformed herself into her human fomr again, but this time she is earing very formal looking clothes. She is earing a greyish-blue business suit, skirt just above the knees, darkbrown pantyhone and simple black high heels. Her hair is tied into a strickt looking pony tail (Really?). She actually looks likea CEO or... like a politician. As you walk to the subway station you ask her.
You still have not really told me what yiou want to do!"
She looks down at you, (those heels make her even taller than she allready is).
"Anon, what do I do in Equestria?"
-"You rule the coountry?"
-"And what else?"
-"You are a teacher!"
She sighs
"Yes, sometimes. But what else do I do. Every day?"
-"You control the sun, I think....?"
You have no idea where this is heading to.
"Exactly! What do you know about the sun?"
-" Its a gigantic burning ball of gas."
- "Go on..."
-"Its bright!"
-"And why is that?"
- "Because of light...?"
-"Light. I control the sun, I control light. Now light is an electromagnetic wave, like...?"
-"Radioactivity!"
She groans
"Electricity. Its just a question of wavelenght."
You think about it what she is up to as you ride the train into the city. You get out at H-Square again. She storms up to the streets and heads striagt in the direction of the city hall. You begin to have an idea what she is up tp...

File: Aryanne3.png (247KB, 1800x1500px) Image search: [Google]

247KB, 1800x1500px

>"I vant to go to Charlottesville, Anon!"
>"Don't forget ze tiki torch!"

>>30803190
The city hall of F-city has two parts. The historic beatifull part where guests of the city are welcomed and where the mayor has his office, where the city concil and the municipal parliament is meeting. And then there is the administartive building. A grey brutalist monstrosity from the 1970 where the day to day business of running a large metropolis is actually happening. You go to the civic registry office in this building Celly heads straight to the waiting room and pulls a number. You sighn and sit down next to her. You really hope she knows what she is doing. You don´t have to wait for long untill the switchboard over the door shows cellys number. You head through the large office to the desk with the designated number. The clerk serving Celly looks like he was born to be a civil servant. A bald, overweight, short middleaged man with a greying mustache. His eyes grow wide as he sees Celly appraching him.
"Hello, Miss, what can I do for you today?"
Celly smiles at him, you can tell that she throws her full charme and charisma at the poor guy.
"Oh hello, sir. My name is Tia Price and , well its a bit embarrasing., but it seems that I have lost my ID-card. I need to order a new one."
He gets to his computer.
"Thats no problem, Miss Prince. Lets see... Odd... I can´t find your name in the system. Oh, lets try something else, please place your right thumb on the finger print reader, I´will find you that way in no time."
Celestia does that, but... she is doing something with the finger print reader! Was that a spark? You can barely stop yourself from gasping, but the clerc doesnt notice it anyway, as he is stareing at the screen.
"Ah, there we go! Tia Prince. Can you please tell me your DOB, place of birth and current residence for comparison?"
-"Yes , of course. July 22nd 1984, C-town, G-Ring 154, F-city at the adress of Anon Ymus."
- "There we go, we need a photo, you can use the photo booth in the hallway. Your bank account is still at the P-bank?"

>>30803442
>The city hall of F-city

Anonymous is actually Ilpalazzo and Celestia is Hyatt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQuIaaz5hbU

>>30803442
Celly beams at him.
"Yes!
-"Great. The fee for the new ID will be withdrawn from your account within a fourthnight. I´ll finish up the order, please bring me the photo when you´ve took it."
As you walk to the photobooth you try to keep it lowkey and whisper but you are a bit agitated.
"What the fuck did you just do?"
She gives you her trademark smile
"You said something yesterday that stuck with me. How easy it is to manipulate data, when you know how."
You try to keep your voice at a level that nobody exept her hears you
"So you just magically hacked the gouvermential computer system?!?!"
- Not only that, also a bank account, heath and social insurance and, as I currently dont have a job, unemployment benefits. As you said its all connected and I read it all up last night."
-"You know that you just comitted a federal crime."
-"People know what the computers know in this world. And the compters know that I was born 33 years ago in C-town. My parents died in a car crash and I grew up with my grandmother who died when I was 19. I went to School in C-Town and went to the university of G where I got a degree in social science and political science. And for a year I live at your place. Thats what the computers know, they know it is a fact and was always a fact. The computer of the middle school of C-Town? Iit knows me as a student in the years from 1994 to 1998. The computer of tax office know that I payed taxes in the time I had a job as well as the computer of the company I worked at knows my as a former employee. I´m in the system."
You are speechless.

>>30803639
EXECL SAGA!
Its been years since I saw that anime! I still have the DVDs somewhere.

>>30803730
After she made her photo she returnes to the clerk. He scans the image and ads it to the order.
"Well, were done . You´ll recieve your new ID-Card in 4-5 weeks in the mail."
Celly beams at him.
"Thank you so much, I wish you a pleasant day."
She turns around and is abou to leave.
"Now wait just a minute!"
You both flinch.
"Miss Prince, you forgot your temporary ID. This paper is valid untill you have your new ID card."
You leave the city hall and walk across the square in front of it.
You are still disturbed
"I can´t believe you just did that. And I can´t believe it actually worked. All of sudden you are very happy that magical powers do not exist in this world. If criminals or terrorist had this kind of power...
"Oh yeah, in the next days my cash card, credit cards, health insurance card and social security documents will arrive too. I took the liberty to plant the information in the computersystens of those organisation."
She grins:
"And now I can go and search for a job!"

So, again I make a brak here for today. What should I ad to the story next? Any suggestions where we should go now?

10!

Bumping this thread another time before I fuck off to work. Please keep the thread alive! Also, I have kinda no Iidea what to do next. I´m at a dead point. Can you help me here?

>>30780875
>but what if that girl saw Celestia as what she is? This has potential.
YES
> but mommy, she really is a giant pony!

>>30805673

Congratulations on getting this far! I like what you're doing!

As for what you could do next...well, there's the obligatory job hunt and demonstration of her skills, which would include, right off the top of my head: human relations (for a given value of "human), accounting and economics, diplomacy, technical writing (or at least professional-grade writing--she WAS a highly-educated ruler of a nation), and probably a host of others. She's probably not up-to-date on most human technology, but she can probably learn quickly--she's highly intelligent, even (benevolently) Machiavellian. But I guarantee she would probably treat any and every job like an enjoyable game.

Her and Anon could take in a sporting event or two, do something fun to celebrate this new milestone. Maybe...they could see a horse race? :) Her reaction to a horse would be fun to see--and so would the horse's reaction to her! If the police have mounted police, you could also use that for an encounter.

There could be a troubled kid living in the same apartment complex, close by, or even several. Even older kids might be (just barely) able to sense her through the glamour. She might be able to sense that there's something wrong with the child, and they wind up as friends. Imagine Celly having a...talk with a single father, say, a drunk with no job who's slowly dying in the bottle as his life falls apart around him?

Maybe a few adults can see her, too. She could have an old, old neighbor who can see her for what she is, and doesn't really care much about it--maybe he bakes a bundt cake or something for the winged unicorn next door. Or maybe he actually somehow spent time in Equestria as a youth or something...

bumpan

>>30803639

HAVE ALL THE MONEY.

>>30806781
Thank you very much!

I really wonder what to do with the job hunt. She has definitively the soft skills for pretty much every job and I´m sure she can bullshit her way out of situations where certain knowledge is required, at least untill she has aquired it.

Her meeting a earth horse is actually a pretty nice idea. I put a pin in that.

The idea that somebody older than 3 years can see through her disguise is tempting. I need to pull that of right, so that it doesn´t come of as cheesy. Maybe there can be some drama in it. Like some kind a Frank Grimes character at her new job, that sees through he disguise, because he had an acident that damaged something in his brain or something, and he is screaming at everybody that there is a unicorn. I like the idea with the old lady neighbor. Maybe she is a psychic.

Okay, I guess I make this up as I go.

A couple of weeks have passed. A lot of mail has arrived for "Tia Prince", each letter containing another piece of her puzzle of her identity. The credit card companies were the fastest. Then her bank card and access PIN for online banking by P-Bank. Social security and health insurance cards next. Then a letter from the job center concerning her unemployments benefits. Then letters from schools and the university of G sending her copies of her report cards and graduation certificates as well as letter from her "former employers" with references. You are suprised how many of theses letters were automated letters, there were actually onle 2 or 3 that were signed by an actual person. She thought of everything. You have to admit you are impressed. At that night before you went to the city hall she sure did her home work, she looked everything up, everithing that was necessary, she created her identity from scratch, even used companies for her CV where the staff after HR department changed after she "left the company", her professors of the university are all retired or dead. Her tax reports and bank statements reach back ten years. Everything neat and unremarkable. Its as if she has always existed. At the moment she is spending her time looking through job vacancies online. She has created a neat CV, her photo is stunning. Earlier this week she had her telepatic call with her sister. There have been setbacks with the spell to bring her home. Suprisingly she was more motivated to get a job by that than she was sad. She sighs in frustration.
"There are so many jobs, but I don´t really see myself in any of them. The titles don´t even make sense most of the time. What is an "assistan junior manager for cross-cooperate synergies"? And all those vacancys for call center agents. Why do they need so many of them?"
You let out a laugh
-"Because they fire as many as they employ. I worked in a call center once, its a shit job."

>>30810538
"Hm. I wouln´t have thought that this would be this difficult."
You sit down next to her.
"Maybe you are looking at this from the wrong angle. You look at all the job vacancies and look what may fit you. Try it the other way around, try searching for a position that suits you and your abilities!"
She think about it for a moment.
"You know Anon, thats actually a pretty good idea!"
-"Well, I think I have a little more experience with job hunting than you. Lets see. What do you WANT to do?"
She thinks for several minutes about it.
"Well, I always liked to help ponies To guide them and to improve their lives."
You clap your hands.
"Well, there you go. Try searching for positions in the social sector."

Question to my esteemed readers. What kind of jobs does she apply to?

>>30810807
Jobs where she gets to help and talk to people. I'd imagine foodbanks, shelters and such would be where she'd get started.

>>30811173
I has something like that, even thou I was probably aiming for the administrative direktion. But a great idea. Thank you very much.
Who else has some ideas?

Bump again

>>30812088
check them dubs

Celestia is a big eater, or at least that's what we see in the show. And she has a sweet tooth.

I suppose this could be used for comedy, if not overdone.

>going to the supermarket with the big pretty talking horse
>she's clip-clopping loudly on the tiles but no one notices
>she's got a magical disguise
>she stops and stares at a corner of the store
"Tia? What are you--"
>"I smell cake!"
"I don't think--"
>but it's too late, half a ton of talking horse is clattering down the aisle at full gallop
>"It's beautiful!" she says
>she's staring at a display of big sheet cakes
>the kind you get if you're catering a big, big wedding party, or a really big party at work
>you know this from helping plan department parties at work
>she's staring at a "full sheet cake"
>a foot and a half by two feet by two inches thick, eleven or twelve pounds of cake and icing
>it serves anywhere from forty to a hundred people depending on how generous you are with the slices
"Tia, what are you--"
>"I want it!"
>it's forty bucks
>you try to visualize how much empty space there is in the fridge at home
>you think you'll have to move some stuff around but you might be able to get it to fit
"Okay, you talked me into it. Why this one?"
>"I can smell buttercream frosting!"
>of course
"You're gonna give yourself the diabeetus, you know."
>she sticks her tongue out at you
>"Can we get some ice cream?"
"I just can't say 'no' to that face. What flavor?"
>she squeals like a giddy child
>the way to her heart is through her stomach, you suspect
>it was a day of learning experiences

Just keep things light in tone.

>>30814580
Thats pretty cute. My version of Celestia is pretty controled, but I think about how to build something like this in. Gotta keep it funny.

I´ll try to write some more.

Celestia changes the setting at search in th only job portal.
"Lets see... That looks more promising...
Oh... Thats interesting! And thats at least a maybe. I think I have a couple of jobs I can apply to here.
She looks at her CV
"Anon do you think the photo on my CV looks good? The photographer said I was a "Natural" and he would like me to model for him, but I think its a bit... I feel my smile comes not out naturally."
You look at her photo. Her human form is smiling up at you, wearing that blueish grey business suit.She is having that typical awkward profile pose you have on application photos. She makes it work thou. You can see that her smile is a little forced, but only because you know her for a while now. To somebody who doesn´t know her she looks fantastic. You remember how you went to a professional photograpfer a few days after your visit to the city hall. It was funny to compare how confident and in control she was at the registry, but that the camera intimidated her. The photographer absolutely loved her, even thou he was obviously gay.
"Don´t worry, they will do the trick. If everything fails you could still take thouse modeling jobs. I heard they pay good"
She winces a bit.
"I don´t know, Anon. It makes me feel kinda unconfortable. Okay, not lets go to the applications..."
You gently stroke her etheral mane, it feels prickly, like static electricity, but not in an unplesant way.
"I think you need a break. Look, you ´ve been burying youself in the computer for three days now. You will get a job soon enough. Relax a little."
She gives you a smile
"I know, its just... I´m just sitting around All day. I want to make myself usefull. I want to do my part to do this world a better place! If you look at the news you will see that there a lot of people, especially world leaders, that direly need a friiendship lesson or two..."
You laugh out loud.

>>30815727
"You can say that again. But you can´t do that if you fuck up your work/life. I know what you need. There is an event in the city today that you will love."
She raises a brow.
"Oh, and what may that be?"
-"You´ll see when we get there. Its a suprise."
She magically shuts the notebook.
"Oh, all right anon, I think I have earned myself a little break. Can we stop by at that little Café afterwards and get some cakes? Their cakes are amazing."
You grab your jacket and grin.
"Oh, I think that won´t be necessary."

>>30815760
A little later you arrive down town at the convention center near the frade fair. Celestias eyes almost fall out of her head as she sees the banner over the entrance.
"48 annual F-City convention of confectioners and pastry chefs. Showcase of finest pastry and cakes. "Let them have cake!""
Celestia lets out a small gasp, she almost seems a bit..aroused.
"Oh Anon... This is... I´m... Wow..."
She is actually speechless and has tears in her eyes.
And drool on her mouth.
You take her hand
"Entrance fee is just 10 bucks and you actually can try some of the cakes. I thought you may like this."
"I... I... Thank you Anon!"

>>30816052
Nice

>>30803219
>There it is, the free speech rally
>Both sides are at odds
>Waves of people pointing fingers and screaming at each other
>You walk up to the scene with a purpose
>The noise starts to die down as everyone notices you carrying a tiny white pony
>Everyone present dawws at the adorable little thing
>You hold it up towards the crowd
>"Gas ze Jews, race war now!"
>It becomes so silent you could hear a pin drop
>Suddenly the crowd breaks out into violence
>It's a veritable bloodbath of politics
>As the peaceful trucks honk their horns and begin mowing down protestors, you and your little pony mosey on out of there to get shakes and fries
>They'll never know you're alt-centrists

>>30817557
>"Vell, of course. Vat is und 'Axis' if not the center of all things?"

Okay, while I think about what shennannigans Celly and Anon cause on the cake con here some stuff from writing the story

- Anons parents do only in parts base on my own parents. Anondad is my dad turned to 11. My father actuallly was a sailor. A good but simple man, we didn´t really connect since he didn´t really understand me or the stuff I´m interested in (That boy ain´t right.) While I failed to go and meet him halfways. He is dead for more than ten years now and I regret that I didn´t try to get closer to him. My mom is cool thou, she is not a crazy wreck like Anons mom. I do have a great relationship with her.

- F-city is a fictionalized version of the city I live in. I´ve changed somethings for the flow of the story, but if you are from this city you will actually recognize a lot of things.

- The birthday of Tia Prince Celly made up is July 22nd 1984. The Year becauseTia stated earlier that she is technically 33 years old, which by 2017 would be 1984 (omnious...), Not the actual date is a funny coincidence. I wanted to make the date both in the sumer and a Sunday. When I looked into the calender of 1984 I noticed that my birthday, July 22nd, WAS actually a Sunday in that year. So I did put that in as a little joke.

I hope you enjoyed those little autistic funfacts, I will soonish return to writing the story.

>>30817649
>You know what else is an axis? My dick.

>>30820818
Bumpin da bump

Haven´t got an idea how to write the cake bonanza et, just posting to keep the thread alive. Has anybody else a story in the meantime, or some questions, suggesttions, comments?

Last bump before I go to work. Keep this thread alive!

boop

>>30823734
bop

All right thets do this. I make things up as I go, lets see where this leads us to:

You enter the main call of the convention center. Rows upon tows of booths of finebakers full of all sorts of cakes and confectionary fill the hall. a sweet smell is lingering in the air.
Celly is overwelmed. This is her woodstock.
"My goodness. To think that my whole life did lead up to this moment..."
She grabs your hand and pulls you through the aisles with her inhuman strength.
"Oh look! Sacher style chocolate cake! Blackforest cake! Red Velvet Cake! *GASP* ECLAIRS!!!"
She runs up to a booth that has stacks and stack of eclairs on the table. A jolly fat chef with a thin mustache, he looks a bit like Oliver Hardy, stands behind the counter and greets her.
"Hello Miss, would you care for a eclair?"
-"Oh, don´t mind if I do!"
She takes a huge bite of the eclair the chef has given her. You can´t help but whine a bit in the quite phallic looking pastry.
"Hmm...MmmmMMMHM... Incredible. That cream filling..."
She leans over the the chef.
"Its fantastic! Do I taste a hint of salted caramel in there?"
The chef smiles
"Its one of the ingrediences of my special cream filling. I take you know a thing or two about pastry, Miss?"
-"Well, not professionally. I am a long time connoisseur of your beautyfull craft thou.
She eats another two of thoses eclairs, as you about to move to the next booth a little girl stands in front of her. Celly gives her a smile and bows down to her. The girl whispers.
"You are a unicorn, aren´t you?"
Celly smiles at her and whispers conspirational.
"You can see it, right?"
The girl beams and nods
"U-huh!"
-"Whats you name?"
-"I´m Janet."
-"I´m pleased to meet you Janet, My name is Celestia. You can see me how I really look like. Well, that makes you my very special friend! Don´t tell it to anybody thou, this is our little secret, okay?"
The girl smiles.
"´Kay. I promise!"
-"Thats great!"
-"´kay, see you Celestia!"
She skips down the aisle to her parents.

>>30825336
Celly smiles gently after her.
"I like children. They are just precious, when you know how to handle them."
And she did find a way to handle them. She is using this tactic whenever a child is approaching her for a week now, and so far suprisingly it worked like a charm. She nods pleased
"Its all a question of making them special and appreci... Oh my! Are those marzipan-nougat cake pops over there?"
---
A few hours later. You knew Celly as a big eater with a sweet tooth, but you have a hard tome to wrap your head around how much cake she actually devoured. You spend far too much money on pastry today. You fridge is full and so is she. I was keeping her selfcontrol up incredibly well on the way home, but as soon as you closed the door she dropped he disguise and her composure. Now she is lying on the couch, wings streched to the side and all four legs al well as her stuffed, round bellypointing to the celing. She is a blissfull mess.

>>30825696
You quip
"You do not look exactly regal right now, your highness..."
-"Guh... Don´t... care... urp...So...happy..."
-"Oh Celly, I told you to be carefull not to overgorge yousel like...*sniff"* What the... DID YOU JUST RIP ONE?!?"
She grins at you and sticks out her tounge. You gag and storm to the window to open it.
"FUCKING LORD! How can somebody like you create such a hellish stench?"
You take a deep breath and turn around. You want quip some more about her behavour, but you see that she has fallen asleep. She happily snores in her sugar coma. You can´t help but smile. Its odd, to see her like that means a lot to you. It means that she completely trusts you, that she knows that she can be un-regal, un-above everything, un-princessy aroound you. That she can be a normal person (or pony) around you because you won´t judge her, because you are her friend.

You guys still there?
Hello? Is anybody out there?
Please comment!

>>30826028
It's not greentext and you're writing for a general that was already on life support for a long time.

>>30826056
I frankly don´t believe that. This thread is not "on life support, its just in a bit of a slouch. Also a story doesn´t need to be green to be green.

Okay, last bump before going to bed. Maybe the anon >>30826056 was right and I should let the thread die, as there is appearntly no interest in the story anymore. I will fix the gramma and upload it on DA, in case anyone is interested.

bamp

bemp

File: 1501791846051.png (11KB, 128x128px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 128x128px

I'd really like to see a Royal Guard Mare on Earth green. Has such a thing ever been written?

File: 439.gif (862KB, 640x444px) Image search: [Google]

862KB, 640x444px

>>30827310
Man fuck that I'm fuckin into it. Its always much more satisfying to see a story unfold with the writer. Also bumpin up

>>30826028
It's adorable.

It's not greentext, but it's adorable.

And the thread needs any content it can get, at this point. As does the board.

>>30826028
i dont like to post much anymore but I'm still here reading everything. you doing a good job.

>>30828393
I love this idea actually. She is super dutifully and all on the edge because she is a millitary mare, but nobody takes here serious because she is just so darn adorable. This has a lot of potential.
>>30828861
>>30829351
>>30829381
Thank you very much guys. I will try to give my best to keep the story up. For you, for the thread, for the board and last but not least for me, since its a hell lot of fun. I will write more when I´m back from work.
Do you have some comments to the recent addions of the story? Was the fart joke too much?

>>30829627
It was too much, even when it's her.

>>30830774
Sorry. I kinda got the idea when I saw this wonderfull video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMJsqXzz5zs
Such majestic creatures....

File: 1459345835388.jpg (45KB, 640x369px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 640x369px

>>30828393

Saw this, thought it would be fun...

>Day Noble Intentions on Earth
>Be Guard Post
>The TV flickers in your tiny room as you reach for another slice of pizza
>With the lights out, the glowing box is all that keeps your eyes focused as you begin to gnaw on a cold slice and search aimlessly for the remote
>It has been better for the past year, you think, being on Earth
>You let out a small burp and pat your slight belly bump before rolling to the other side of the couch
>You have volunteered thinking this it was a great chance to get away from all the hardships of Princess Celestia’s rule, but have not found it as easy as you would have liked since arriving
>Sure, you don’t have to scrub the barracks or do dishes
>Sure, you aren’t being called to hold back Timberwolf raids or quiet down local riots
>While those issues are in the past, new Earth-related challenges have become concerning
>For one, the pizza delivery guy doesn’t honour your expired coupons since you are deemed a, “Moocher”
>Then, your favorite show was cancelled right when Marie and John were going to elope and start their Jam-Smuggling ring in Costa Rica
>Now to make matters worse, you’ve lost the remote and have to manually change channels!
>Truly, these are dire times for a pony who is as vigilant as you
>A knock at your door snaps you out of your funk as you roll from the couch and onto your hooves
>Opening the door reveals a tall stallion in shinnying, golden armour
>”Guard Post” his powerful voice begins, “I am glad to finally have found you here.”
>You salute smartly to your commander and focus on his eyes for the moment
“Yes, sir, just staying alert and ready, sir!”
>He sighs and looks around your tiny room, “Is that a stack of pizza boxes with your uniform on it?”
>You chuckle nervously and look towards the floor
“I was just about to polish it, sir.”

>>30832078

>”Well, make sure you look spiffy for tomorrow! The Princess will be here and you know the layout of the Royal Quarters.”
“Yes, sir, I’ve been guarding them for years now.”
>You smile and bob your head, as if to get some kind of approval
>”Just… Take a bath and be ready at 0600…”
“Awww, in the morning?”
>He stamps his hoof before you and you tremble lightly
>”Yes, in the morning! This is the Princess we’re talking about here!”
“Alright, jeez, it’s just so early” you groan slowly as you rub some pizza grease from your muzzle
>The commander looks a bit tired and you offer him a slice of some delicious Earth pizza
>Just as you had hoped, he rejects the offer and bids you a good evening
>You close the door and think about all the things you have to do to be ready for tomorrow
>Planning is a lot of work, you think, as you begin to turn the couch cushions in search of the remote
>If only somep0ny else could set a schedule for you
>But, you might not get paid and Earth is super-big on having money
>It is almost hard to believe, but you need money just to live in a place and more money for food
>You suddenly find the remote tucked safely in the recesses of the couch and snatch it up
>Unicorns think they’re so cool with their horns, but remotes equalize the playing field when it comes to watching TV!
>Tomorrow will be easy, you ponder as you reach for another slice of pizza
>You’ll go to bed right after you see how your favourite new show ends

>The next day
>You feel awful waking up so early
>Between Brad and Cindy breaking up and having to polish your gear, you’ve barely slept all night
>Even worse, the elevator is out of order so you need to walk down nearly three flights of Human stairs
>You consider passing out in the carriage as it takes you to your destination today, but that might be difficult if any pony else is riding along

>>30832090

>The morning air is cool on your face as you exit the building and you shiver once before the carriage pulls up
>As the door opens, you see your commander and already dread being in this confined space
>”Good morning, Post, glad you could make it.”
>You grunt something that sounds like a pleasantry and climb in
>The ride begins as the commander gives you some interesting news
>”We have spotted a Human being with think is trying to attack the Princess, though we have no motive yet.”
“What’s he look like?”
>”Well, he’s sort of… Human-y, you know, fairly ordinarily human in size and shape. This human has one distinction, as you can see.”
>You look over the picture carefully
>It is true all humans look the same, but this particular human is very familiar to you
“I know this one. Are you sure he’s after the Princess?”
>”We are sure, he has been saying some fairly dangerous things that our intelligence officers have picked up. Where do –you- know him from?”
“This is the guy who delivers pizza. The Pizza Dude, if you will, sir.”
>The commander holds his chin and thinks carefully, “Pizza Dude… Hmm, yes. We must watch for this Human. Do you think he may be able to disguise himself?”
“I’ve once seen him down a whole Bud Light in a single gulp!”
>Your commander looks at you harshly, “What does that have to do with my question?”
“I… You got me.”
>”As well, you’ve been spying on him?”
“I mean, kind of…”
>You suddenly realize you should not talk about fraternizing with possible terrorists
“… Like, I order pizza and he drops them off sometimes. I think he’s alright, not like cool or anything. He’s like… Alright to watch movies with sometimes.”
>”By the light of the moon! You’ve fraternized with him!?”

File: 1495305954073.gif (3MB, 706x505px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 706x505px

>>30832101

“Aww, commander, I didn’t know he might be after the Princess. He’s just some dork who does a job and sometimes he looks like a sad dog and I’m like, ‘Sad dogs are sad and junk’ and you can’t just…”
>The commander cuts you off with a quick slash of his hoof
>”Enough! You will be beside Princess Celestia for this entire day. You may just be the perfect buffer between the Princess and this maniac.”
>Damn, you just earned yourself double-duty
“Right, sir. Being the buffer, sir.”
>You come to an abrupt stop and find yourself in an alleyway
>”Follow me, we’ll be taking a special back entrance into the palace.”
>You shrug and do as you’re told
>When you arrive inside, everything is as you remember from the last time you worked at the palace
>Shiny gold vases litter the halls as long red carpets adorn every floor and marble columns stretch to the vaulted ceilings
>This place is cool or whatever, but it doesn’t get cable
>You walk for what feels like ever across the grand palace until you come upon the throne room
>”You we stand at this doorway and make sure none enter without the proper clearance.”
“Yes, sir, and what is that?”
>”A gold insignia that Princess Celestia herself has passed out to those she will meet today.”
>You go about the routine you’ll perform until the commander whisks you off to the safe house to meet with the Princess
>It is surprisingly, or irresponsibly, close to the palace and you arrive in good time as the sun begins to rise overhead
>Unlike in Equestria, Earth’s sun just does whatever it wants and the temperature cannot be adjusted
>It was once nearly 32 degrees for, like, no reason and you remember sleeping in the refrigerator
>As you enter the safe house, a few more Royal Guard members from Equestria look you over
>”Princess Celestia, we have arrived to see you safely into the palace” your commander says valiantly