There are single mares in Equestria right now at the peak of

>>30726685
Baby fever is scary. Don't fall for their traps. It's not worth it.

File: 1501855940858.jpg (40KB, 540x525px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 540x525px

>>30726750
but it's my fetish

>>30726685
Cherilee isn't at peak fertility, she's like forty

>>30726685
>"What about Anon? He's a suitable bachelor."
>"I'm sorry, Twilight. I'm just looking to start a family and I can't do it with someone so biologically different."
>"His biology really doesn't matter."
>"Of course it does! How are we supposed to have children? We're two different species!"
>"Actually, I ran tests on him when he first arrived to Ponyville. He's capable of siring offspring with a pony."
>"What."
>"I know, it's weird considering he's from a different dimension and all and from what he's told me, it's not something humans are capable of back on Earth, but here it's possible!"
>Cheerilee's eye twitches as she realizes all this time she's been turning away Anon's advances when he's exactly what she's been looking for
>And now overhearing Twilight's data on the human, it seems every other baby hungry mare in Ponyville is suddenly eyeing him with renewed interest
>Buck

File: 217171__safe_cheerilee.jpg (72KB, 404x414px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 404x414px

>>30726800
NO U

gb2 anon in equestria

>>30726800
Ponies age like fine wine.

>>30726750
What if I want to grab a mare and make a hundred babbus?

File: 132175375506.png (216KB, 1100x1000px) Image search: [Google]

216KB, 1100x1000px

>There are single mares in equestria right now shitposting about their horsbandos.

>you will never help the Cakes make more little Cakes
big fat mare has big fat uterus

>>30726931
I fucking love this pic

File: 1360218970170.png (403KB, 764x1060px) Image search: [Google]

403KB, 764x1060px

>>30726931
That's kinda sad.

>>30726812
THATS WHAT YOU GET

THATS WHAT HAPPENS

>>30726685
I would

>>30726926
FOUR HUNDRED BABIES!

>>30726685
Human sperm is not compatible with pony eggs and vice versa.

File: 1487552140293.jpg (23KB, 601x508px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 601x508px

>>30730663
W-well that's just like your opinion, man.

File: 1494724361466.jpg (209KB, 800x922px) Image search: [Google]

209KB, 800x922px

>>30730663
hmmm

File: moar.jpg (122KB, 1200x850px) Image search: [Google]

122KB, 1200x850px

>>30726812
I NEED THIS!

>>30730890
thred is ded anon

>>30726812
>You are Anonymous
>And suddenly you feel like the most interesting thing in town... well, you already were - you mean in comparison to everything else weird around here
>Point is you seem to have found yourself surrounded by a bunch of flirtatious mares that are hardly being subtle about it
>In fact you feel one grabbing your ass right now
>Is this that estrus thing you read about horses having?
>Are these horses? Do they even have an estrus? You don't know. It was always awkward talking about this shit with Twilight!
>You think one of them just invited you for netflix and chill
>You didn't even know they had netflix here
>A saving grace in the form of Rainbow Dash lands before you
>"Yo Anon! What'cha doin' hanging out with all these old hags?"
>Typical crude, shit talking rainbro
>She seems to have earned death glares from the entire crowd with that statement
>You however just raise an eyebrow in confusion
"I uh, didn't even notice an age difference. You all look adorable to me."
>This draws a murmur of awws and giggles from the mares
>Oh shit, were you being smooth just then?
>There are so many things you don't know
>They say ignorance is bliss but it can be frightening sometimes
>"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, you still up for Friday night?"
>The pleased murmurs turn to ones of disapproval
>Tiny blue wingpony, help a brother out, will ya?

>You are now Cheerilee
>And you are currently pushing your way through the crowd of middle-aged mares
>Don't associate girl, y-you've still got a few years before wizardhood kicks in!
>Breaking your way to the front, you arrive just in time to hear Rainbow ask Anon out on a potential date
>Celestia damned fillies with their tight, fit young bodies...
>They have the pick of the litter, leave the average and willing ones to the older mares!
>Calm down Cheers, that sounds like jealously and only desperate mares get jealous
>...oh Celestia you're so desperate
>Time to speak up before your catch gets away

1/3

>>30731412
"A-Actually, Anon, I was wondering if you still wanted to go to that movie you invited me to earlier."
>That earns you the ire of the crowd now turned away from Rainbow Dash
>Shaky knees, don't fail you now
>He turns to look at you, surprised
>"Oh, uh, I mean- I kind of already made other plans since you turned me down."
>And what a fool you were
"Um, I actually seem to have found time in my busy schedule. B-But I mean if you already have plans..."
>He looks conflicted
>Good, maybe you still have a chance
>"Well, it's not like I can't just invite you along with Rainbow and me."
>Oh no, this is not what you wanted
>There's nothing worse than being the third wheel
>A burnt out, tired old wheel
>"What? No way!"
>RD decides to voice her objections
>"Huh? Why not?"
>"She's a teacher, Anon! Boring old school spinster. I doubt she'd know how to have a good time if it came up and bit her on her fat old flank!"
>Well, that would ruffle your feathers if you had any
>Sure, you've locked yourself away inside a school house for all these years, but you still remember how to party
>Bell bottoms are still in style, right?
>And your flank is not fat!
>...Maybe you should lay off of those Hosstess cupcakes
"Now hold on a moment, I know how to hang loose. I'm no downer, dig?"
>You hear a few snorts from the slowly dispersing crowd
>What? That's how the kids talk, isn't it?
>Rainbow just rolls her eyes
>"See, even her lingo is like, a century out of date! I doubt she can even keep up with our drinking."
>"Come on RD, it can't be that bad. Besides, I've seen her knock back a couple after work."
>Oh dear, he's seen you like that?
>Not good, you're belligerent and a sobber
>Please don't think too poorly of you
>"Whatever Anon. If you want to hang out with this killjoy, count me out!"
>With that she takes to the skies, leaving you and Anon all alone
>Looks like the others gave up when they realized there was actual competition already in play

2/3

>>30731418
>"Well then. Guess my schedule is clear again. Friday night?"
>Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>Okay, calm down Cheers, don't let him in on your desperation
"Sounds great!"
>You nearly shout that at him
>N-Nailed it
>"Alright, it's a date."
>YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>"Ahem, uh, I mean-"
"I know what you mean, it's fine."
>"Catch you later then!"
>Yes
>Yes yes yes yes yes YES!
>Girl, you are so going to put the moves on that stallion!
>Well
>Maybe after you get a few pointers on how not to be an uncool old spinster in front of him
>Which means taking pointers from cousin Berry
>Hundreds of coltfriends and that mare can't hold onto a stallion to save her life
>Already you can feel the headache coming on
>Get it together girl, you've got a date to prepare for!
>F-Five nights away
>...
>You need a drink

3/3

Oh dear, I've started a thing and now I have to commit. I'm afraid of commitment.

>>30731424
C O M M I T

File: give me the horzepuzzi.gif (48KB, 425x160px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 425x160px

>>30726685

>>30731418
>>Not good, you're belligerent and a sobber
I keked

>>30730663
I remember having thoughts as a little kid, about why hasn't anyone tried making hybrid babies with animals. Needless to say I was very disappointed when I learned.

>>30731424
>3/3
What? Was that supposed to be the end?
Where's the flirting? The proposal? The breeding?

File: 1475850880852.png (351KB, 1058x1500px) Image search: [Google]

351KB, 1058x1500px

>>30731666
THE BREEDING

WHERE IS THE BREEDING

File: CadeceSmiling.png (281KB, 437x581px) Image search: [Google]

281KB, 437x581px

>Desperate middle aged mares spilling spaghetti around Anon.
I never knew I needed this.

>>30731666
No, that's just more of a thing that helps the writer space apart character limit posts, let's other writers in the thread know when to start their own story updates so they're not tripping over each other and lets the readers know that's the end of the current update so they're not anticipating/waiting for more that's not going to come just yet or reserve their own interruptions/commentary during it.

>>30731706
Where's the fun in that?!

>>30731712
>generals
>fun

>>30729560
Can't really blame her.

>>30731424
You must take responsibility, sempai.

>>30726837
Cheerilee is a Christmas cake and you know it.

>>30731718
agreed. the series died with yuri.

>>30733560
Is that a C&C joke?

>>30733560
I always preferred Tiberian Sun over all the others. Game was my childhood.

>>30731418
>you're belligerent and a sobber
can't wait for more

>>30731424
>Ding dong
>The door swings open to reveal a pink and purple pony
>Who gives you a dopey grin
>"Cousin!"
"Berry. May I come in?"
>"Sure, sure. Make yourself at home. Drink?"
"No no, I'm good."
>She sticks her head out of the kitchen and gives you the 'oh really?' face
"M-Maybe just a glass."
>She grins and after a moment heads out with a bottle of wine and two glasses
>Taking a moment to uncork the bottle and pour the drinks, she slides yours over to you before reclining back into her sofa
>"Sooo~ what brings you to my humble abode?"
>Humble, right
>Just beyond the living room is what looks like the entrance to a winery
"Well, I was hoping... th-that is, I wanted to ask- oh dear, how do I go about this? I need some advice."
>A slight tinge darkens your cheeks
>Berry lets show what she refers to as a 'shit-eating' grin, such a nasty phrase
>"It's about stallions, isn't it?" she waggles her eyebrows
"Am I that obvious?"
>"Honey, I could smell the baby desperation on you for the last two weeks."
>That long?
>What, have you just been walking around with a raised tail and a neon sign on your backside?
>"Heck, you've been walking around with a raised tail and what might as well be a neon sign on your backside."
>What fresh hell is this?
>Bottoms up
>She just watches you in amusement as you place the glass down
"Another, please."
>A hearty laugh follows the gentle glug of wine
>"So, you've come to old Berry, huh? Looking to bag a quick one? Because I know this great club not far from here-"
"No! Er, no, thank you. I already have a date planned out."
>Planned, you say
>It was just supposed to be a movie, maybe dinner, but you figured you'd sway it in your favor
>"Oho? Well good on ya! So what's the matter?"
"It's um, been a while since I've been on the dating scene. I'm a little rusty."
>She snorts
>"You can say that again. You didn't try to impress him with any of that 'hip' lingo you try to use with the foals, did you?"
>You groan

>>30735315
>"Oh shit, it's worse than I thought. Alright, listen to me: Don't drink, don't dance, and whatever you do, don't drink and dance. I've seen the way princess Twilight dances when she's sober, you're like a million times worse."
"Oh come on, it's not that bad!"
>"Sista, this ain't the shakin' neighties, those kind of dance moves make you look more like an epileptic than a fresh young 'thang'."
>Wincing at that, you groan again
>"Don't worry, I'll help you out. So when's the date?"
"Day after tomorrow."
>"Not a lot of time, so we'll stick to the basics for now."

>A few hours later
>You're relaxing with your head in Berry's lap as she brushes your mane
"And he's got a good sense of humor-"
>"And he's human."
"And he's good with kids-"
>"Aaand he's human."
>You scrunch your muzzle in frustration
"What's wrong with that?"
>She raises a disbelieving eyebrow
>"I thought this whole thing was about having children of your own."
"It is! We're compatible!"
>The other eyebrow joins its sibling
"We are!"
>"I'm not saying anything. So then."
>She stops the brush and gives you a hard stare
>"You've been denying this colt's advances for how long and suddenly you're interested now that you know he can plow your fields?"
>A sigh escapes her as you avert your eyes
>"How serious about this are you really?"
"I mean, I do like him, I've just hesitated all this time because-"
>"Because you thought he couldn't give you what you wanted. Listen Cheers, I'm not gonna talk you down from this, but one of the first things that can make or break a relationship is honesty."
>You give her a skeptical look
>"Do as I say, not as I do. If you intend for this to go past the first date, you really don't want it all based on a lie that you suddenly fell for him. If the truth comes out, one of the worst feelings someone can have is that of being used."
>She sighs and looks wistfully out the door

>>30735318
>Berry had a daughter of her own
>Pinchy was a beautiful young filly with an impressive mind and a thirst for knowledge
>It's amazing how Berry has managed to raise her so well by her lonesome
"Do you ever regret it?"
>"Pinchy? No, not on my life. Her father though..."
>She smiles tiredly
>"If I could go back and change a few unpleasant things about myself, it would the parts of me that inevitably ended our marriage."
>You pat her withers comfortingly
>"I'd love to give her the father she needs, but I'd make the same mistakes a hundred times over just to have her by my side."
>You smile absently and pat your belly
>It sounds so nice
>You've made up your mind
>Even if you have to see this through to Tartarus and back you'll make it work out somehow
"Thanks."
>"Hey, no problem. You're always using that teacher's wit to put my shit back in perspective, what kind of family would I be if I didn't do the same for you?"
>The two of you share a giggle
>"More wine?"
>You take a look at the foot of the bed, three empty bottles strewn about the floor
"I think I'll stick to feeling good rather than stay the night because I tried getting into a fight with your refrigerator again."
>She winces as she recalls the memory
>That thing was heavy and it fell heavy
>"Fair enough."

>Dawn of the final hour
>You are a nervous wreck
>Your mane is done up nicely, you're wearing a simple yet elegant evening dress and you've put on some light makeup
"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear."
>"Relaaaax, you've got this!"
"But what if I'm overdressed? What if he's expecting some fun night out at a pizza parlor or a bar or-"
>Berry places a hoof on your side
>"Cheers. Cheers look at me. You need to calm down."
>Alright, breathe, breeeeathe
>That's hyperventilating
>This isn't going to work!
>You feel your cheeks touch each other as a sting pulls you to your senses
"Did- Did you just slap me?"
>"Heh, I always wanted to do that once."
"This isn't some movie! This is my life!"

>>30735325
>Berry fixes you with a hard stare you near wilt under
>"A first date, your life. Really?"
>You shrink into yourself further
>"Really?"
>You whine
>"Ugh, you really need to get out more. This is just embarrassing."
>Ding dong
>The death bell tolls!
>"That's him, he's here! Quickly, pull yourself together!"
>You want to hide under your bed
>She pushes you to the door
>"Now remember, just be yourself!"
>Being yourself is usually you playing Jenga all alone at two in the morning with a good bottle of merlot at your side before passing out into the tower of bricks
>You're anything but yourself right now!
>"Okay, maybe not so much yourself he can smell the shame, but close."
>Not helping!
>With a final deep but shaky breath, you answer the door
>There he is
>Oh Celestia, it's taking everything you have not to slam the door in his face out of sheer nervousness
>He smiles down at you
>Ohhh those pearly whites nearly make your legs melt out from under you
>"Hey there Cheerilee! Wow, you're looking- wow, uh, you're looking pretty great!"
>Hehehe
>You're blushing like a schoolfilly
>There's a tint of red on his cheeks as well
>This only causes you to blush further
>"So, um, you ready to go?"
>You're at a loss of words at the moment
>"Heeeey there, stud!"
>Berry no
>"Berry Punch? What are you doing here?"
>"Ah, just looking after the place while she's out."
>Berry what are you doing?
>You can't bring him back to your place if she's still here!
>No, she couldn't have planned this! Berry you traitor!
>She gives him a once over and grins
>"You clean up pretty nicely Anonymous."
>"Heh, thank you."
>You turn to see her waggling her eyebrows again
>"Wouldn't mind me a piece of that."
>"Pardon?"
>Oh no she doesn't!
>You kick the door shut in her face and fix Anon with a bright smile
"Well then, shall we be off?"

>Be Berry
>That oughtta put a kick in her flank
>Now where does that mare keep her secret stash?
>Creak
>Ah, right there under the floor boards
>Time for a drink!

>>30735329
Some of the dialogue feels a bit forced, hopefully it's not too bad.

Actual date next update.

>>30735329
kek
I like Berry's evil genius at getting Cheerilee to get moving.

File: Sauce.gif (2MB, 349x252px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 349x252px

>>30735329

>>30735335
It's so cute.

File: IMG_1051.jpg (45KB, 398x500px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 398x500px

>>30735329
I'm not really a good judge, but I think the dialogue is fine. Please continue.

File: Yuri_red_alert.jpg (376KB, 1541x964px) Image search: [Google]

376KB, 1541x964px

>>30733591
Yes, of course

>>30735329
Do go on.
When you feel like it, that's it.

I usually give feedback, but i'm working so I can't.
Everything is in place, the characters swearing is something I don't mind when X situation is happening.
Also cheerilee a qt

i will save it

File: rockinknockers.png (377KB, 739x5708px) Image search: [Google]

377KB, 739x5708px

Gonna take this opportunity to post some lewd Cheerilee green.

>>30737561
>no hooves
>andtheneveryoneclapped.txt

>>30726931
But who s best humie thou?

File: best humie.jpg (16KB, 299x298px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 299x298px

>>30738269

File: 1501165979576.jpg (337KB, 2464x1648px) Image search: [Google]

337KB, 2464x1648px

>>30738298

>>30738479
http://heavy.com/entertainment/2017/08/stefan-karl-cancer-robbie-rotten-stefansson-not-dead/

>>30738496
I know, that's just an old candid pic from like 4 years ago

>when you're on page 9 and you suddenly realize you want to have content

File: the most powerful shoah in the world.png (2MB, 2668x1500px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2668x1500px

>>30738269
Duterte, obviously.

File: 1338167720609.png (187KB, 670x567px) Image search: [Google]

187KB, 670x567px

>>30739407
would ponies massacre drug dealers with friendship?

>>30739433
Equestria is too pure to even have drugs in the first place.

>>30739458

>Dash treats Cider like it's cocaine
They just have different things that are just as addicting, at the end.

Please do not sexualize the Christmas cake

>>30739491
But Christmas cake was make for Painfully Average Green Dick.

>>30726685
>you will never be pursued through the town by a pack of desperate mares
>you will never flee from hormone-crazed ponies
>you will never hide in a convenient set piece to evade a pursuit by horny mares
>you will never emerge from hiding in the belief that the coast is clear, only to be tackled to the ground by a crafty schoolteacher
>you will never squirm to get away as Cheerilee starts ripping off your clothing
>Cheerilee will never give you a crazed look while screaming, "I need you, insert your name here! I need you to fuck a foal into me RIGHT NOW!!!"
>you will never protest ineffectually as she masturbates you to semi-hardness so that she can stuff you inside her steaming hot love tunnel
>you will never be pinned down and ridden by a mare desperately screaming, "GIVE ME YOUR BABY BATTER NOW!!!"
>she will never clamp down atop you as she forces you to cum
>she will never flee with your semen inside her womb, leaving you at the questionable mercy of a predatory pack of horny mares, attracted by the commotion
>you will never be gang-banged into oblivion as they take turns milking you for your seed with their hungry cunts
Why live?

no
dont be kill

>>30739596
I want to flood Equestria with my hybrid spawn.

File: 1219043_solve.png (1MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1920x1080px

Guys, I'm starting to think that the writefag isn't coming back and we'll never know if Anon, Cheerilee, and Berry Punch all settle down into a big happy family.

File: 1501709612349.jpg (304KB, 1000x1033px) Image search: [Google]

304KB, 1000x1033px

>>30743761

>>30743761
>Tfw cant solve that
D-damn horse math, can i still get pony puss thou?

13 dork

>>30743761
no happiness allowed

>>30743761
AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT!

>>30743893
Things are getting non-euclidean in here.

No sir, I don't like it.

File: 348193__safe_shipping_straight_traditional+art_big+macintosh_parody_cheerilee_cheerimac_80s+cheerilee_80s.jpg (472KB, 2103x1619px) Image search: [Google]

472KB, 2103x1619px

How much coke do you think she did back in the pony 80s?

>>30746123
0, she a pure

>>30746215
>implying she didn't do miles worth of powdered sugar lines

>>30746221
>sometimes she'll go down to Sugarcube Corner and do a line off Cup Cake's cutie mark for old times' sake

>>30743761
X = 6

File: common core teachers.jpg (37KB, 460x459px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 460x459px

>>30746972
common core math student detected

>>30747524
jesus fuck, I had to take geometry in night school to pass but even I'm not that stupid

>>30746215
She got a Cutie Mark of a bunch of flowers and thought it meant she was destined to be a teacher.
That's not the thought process of an unaltered mind.

>>30729516
Fuck you my waifu would never stoop to tripfagotry.

>>30747524
science mind in math class. happens much to often.

>>30748771
she helps children "blossom"
_Or she took lsd maybe_

>>30726931
>single
>Lyra

>>30735318
>she doesn't like twiggys dancing.
That's some shit taste right there.

>>30747524
How is the teacher wrong here?

>>30747524
Luis's pizza was comprised of the remains of martys pizza.

>>30749550
The question was not is it possible it's how it's possible.
What other way could it be possible.

>>30749550
The teacher is claiming that 5/6 of anything, no matter how small, is greater than 4/6 of anything else, no matter how large, or perhaps is simply unaware that pizzas come in different sizes.
The teacher isn't claiming anything, she's just unthinkingly comparing the students' answers against the answer sheet that came with the worksheet and marking wrong anything that doesn't match..
E.g., if Marty ate 4/6 of a giant novelty pizza the size of a dinner table and Luis ate 5/6 of a DVD-sized pizza, the teacher is saying that Luis would have eaten more in that scenario.

>>30749550
>how is 4/6 not bigger than 5/6!?!
Stop

File: IMG_1181.jpg (34KB, 358x416px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 358x416px

>>30749534
>le lyra is lesbo meme

So, is writefriend dead? Please come back.

I'm really sorry guys I'm too busy. Check /AiE/ in a couple of weeks.

May this thread rest in peace.

>>30751379
>/AiE/
I had thought better of you

>>30726792
I can't tell if that's an evil Harry Potter, or Murdoc

File: 1499811609572.jpg (17KB, 320x291px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 320x291px

>>30743761
0=26

>>30743761
X = +/- [12]

>>30751379
Yea... you at least got a fucking name? 2 weeks is along time to keep an eye out for Anon, especially in a general I don't frequent.

File: 1494691326825.png (449KB, 800x450px) Image search: [Google]

449KB, 800x450px

ALL THE SINGLE MARES

>>30753042

>All the sing mares (male)

ftfy

>>30753047
XDDDD

Well if this falls off I'm sorry, I don't have a lot of time to get writing done at work and when I return home I've been surrounded by stripped towers for the past few days. I'm using a brand new AMD CPU as a fucking ashtray. I'm not about to thumb out a story on my phone either.

Disregard the previous Anon, I don't write for AiE and you won't find me there, so please don't waste your time looking for a nameless writefag.