FimFiction thread - Now with 92% less memorable content

I want a /fimfic/ riff to happen.

A riff of AAG.

>>30725992
That would only lead to tears and at least a few suicides.

Plus, I remember AAG-Anon saying that shin's works aren't really riffable because there are large extents of story where nothing exciting/crazy/interesting happens.

>>30725992
everything bleedin has made.

>>30725971
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/359656/noblesse-oblige

First half of this fic is a hidden gem, second half bares little relation to the first and should put in a second novel.

I came for a realistic relationship with Celestia not for yet another escapade into Ponyville.

>>30726472
It would require a significant group effort. Everyone does one chapter, limiting their exposure to prevent brain damage

>>30726500
I remember reading the original version back in the write-off event, it was pretty damned good.

>yet another escapade into Ponyville.
Oh, no...

I'll give this a look and see how it fares when compared to the original

>>30726828
That might get stale. We ought to do three shifts or more. Everyone gets a chapter to themselves, then another guy goes over the previous guy's chapter, then again. They'll edit and revise the other faggot's shitty rips, and it'll end up with three different people on each chapter.

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>>30726828
>>30726934
I'll repeat what I said about there being large chunks of story where nothing riff worthy happens.

Reading though a 6k word section of just characters talking and not doing much would be tedious as hell, not to mention trying to make a riff out of it.

Riffs are easier to make and interesting to read when they're about short stories, or stories that are so full packed of shit that you get idiocy in every turn.

>>30727349
You can make that humorous too, you know. Just start talking with the other riffer about completely irrelevant shit (especially good if you aren't even actually talking to the riffer, just responding to the seemingly random statements he's making that might fit in a conversation like in >>30726934 )
Or just exclude entire portions of the original text. I mean, why not? If it's not interesting to read, why riff it or include it at all? The riff might come out as a better piece of prose than the original.

>>30727513
>Just start talking with the other riffer about completely irrelevant shit
that occasionally worked on mst3k, but I doubt many of us could pull it off and still be entertaining

On the subject of riffing, maybe just do 7DSJ? I think that had marginally more exciting stuff happen inbetween the massive shitshows.

>>30729017
That's an even worse idea IMO. 7DSJ doesn't go off the rails until around chapter 5. The first few chapters are pretty reasonable setup for a "Sunset's redemption" type of fic.

If you really want to riff something, do chapter 1 of AAG. It's 27,000 words long, and is fairly self contained because it used to be a oneshot. It lays out DJ's entire backstory, so there's plenty of stupid shit happening throughout or not really happening, but being described through DJ's dialogue with a reporter - remember kids, tell don't show

>>30729017
>>30729656
They're both terrible ideas on the sole basis that we suck at group projects

>all the shit in my tracking that should totally be in a "dead" bookshelf

Almost 10000 unread chapters (if that's how it works) but I bet it would be cut in half if I did a deadfic check.

>>30730188
You could always have a shelf just for deadfics. Let them rot away there, and it's a convenient way to find out when one suddenly comes back to life.

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>>30730223
this. it works for me

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>>30730386
>Read
>161 unread chapters
I need an explanation, Anon.

anyone have any good OC stories were he is a baddass with a tragic past?

>>30730405
Theres a number of reasons; afterwords, holiday specials,rewrites and one shots that were expanded upon are the main ones.

>>30730483
Literally every HiE ever
>good
oh sorry, those don't exist

>>30730526
sorry should have said non human i have all ready rean most all human ones. also there are some really good HiE fics like quantum castaway and others

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>>30730539
Yes. You should be sorry.

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>>30730949

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>writing a scene where over half a dozen characters speak
>it's a dialogue heavy scene
>I can only break the dialogue with actions and physical reactions for so long before they have to keep speaking
>tfw it's starting to wear on me

Why did I think this was a good idea?

>>30731231
you should have made them all mimes

Been lurking for a bit, how the fuck do you guys have over 100 fics that you've liked? I've been reading for years and I have barely 30. Am i a picky bastard?

>>30731231
>writing a scene where over half a dozen characters speak
>eventually, only three are conversing with each other
>everyone else fades into the background
Every time.

>>30731838
Liking is usually seen as a casual gesture for any story that's at least okayish. Favoriting is where the pickiness comes into play. Or it would have, if the favorite and tracking buttons hadn't been merged for three years.

bumpu

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>reading back and rewriting some chapters
>mfw most of what I write is painfully unfunny

>>30733948
well at least you realize it now

>>30731749
>Mimes in Equestria
I'm amazed this hasn't happened. The closes thing is a comedy about a (normal pony) mime
messing around with Twilight.
It also happens to be dead.

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It's hard to find a story about ponies that deals with murder and does so in a way that not only isn't cringeworthy or has edge for the sake of edge, but that also manages to be engaging.

"Sleepless" manages to do just that.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/193313/sleepless

The short of it is that Diamond Tiara is having serious trouble sleeping and this is starting to wear on her (At the begining of the story, she's been dealing with insomnia for a month, with microsleep through the day being the only thing that keeps her functioning) and takes it to wander around Ponyville at night. In one of those nights, she finds Pipsqueak, who takes it upon himself to escort her back home, but Diamond ends up blacking out. Then, the following morning, Ponyville wakes up to find Pipsqueak has been murdered.

This kicks off a series of murders of fillies and colts which get all of Ponyville up in arms and paranoia starts to take over some of the ponies. There is even one death not caused by Diamond.

The story also has its share of problems, though, and I'll quickly list them off right now because I want to spend the rest of this post gushing like an autist.

This story has several OC's, which isn't a problem in and of itself since none are cringey or feel forced, but rather come naturally to the development of the story. However, that doesn't mean they OC's themselves are well developed. The only ones who come close to feeling like real characters are one of the detectives and one of the fillies at the clinic to which Diamond Tiara goes for her sleep problems.

Second, since we already know who the culprit is, the mystery tag is wasted. It's a hard to buy into the atmosphere of uncertainty when you already know Diamond Tiara is behind it all. Still, we do get a lot of solid character moments and tense scenes where the background ponies wonder what is going on, so it's not a glaring flaw.

>>30736412

And there are several typos and skipped words here and there which weren't enough to break the immersion, did distract me every now and then.Plus there are a few plot points that are never fully explored, but I assume some are meant to tie in with the sequels, which I haven't read.

On to the positives!

I like to be immersed in the stories I read to the point I lose track of the passage of time, and this story managed to do just that. The first chapter is a bit shaky, but the pacing is solid from that point onwards, and it kept me going until I reached the end. The atmosphere is great as well, it's moody and dark in just the right way, never going overboard.

The murders themselves aren't too graphic, since they're being told from the perspective of a Diamond Tiara who isn't perfectly aware of what is going on. Most of the time. Also, none of the murders happen just because (sans the first one), but there is a narrative connection between Diamond Tiara's emotional state and the way she thinks about them really drives the point of a filly who's slowly losing her mind.

The character development is great as well when it comes to Diamond Tiara herself. She goes from being in shock about her actions, to accepting them and outright planning murders, to coming to terms with her insanity and trying to stop herself before its too late (one guess as to what happens).

Overall, this was an enthralling read, and you should definitely give it a chance if you want to read a character piece about murder and the deteriorating mental condition of a filly. Not everyone's cup of tea, but it you like this kind of stories, you could do much, much worse.

>>30736420
I'll put it on my RiL, I've been stockpiling horror/dark fics for several months. Should be a comfy Halloween.

>>30736930
I've read a few dark/horror~ish stories lately. I'll see if I can find some decent recommendations.

On an unrelated note, does anyone know a name for a psychologist/therapist?

>>30736412
Huh. I would have said "edge for the sake of edge" was a hallmark of this author, but that probably applies least to this story out of all of his I've read. I can't defend it on technical grounds, but it engages me too. Curious to hear what you think of the sequels.

>>30737486
>I would have said "edge for the sake of edge" was a hallmark of this author
I don't think I've read anything else by this author, so I can't say. If that's the case then, as you said, it probably applies least to this story

>Curious to hear what you think of the sequels.
I'll give them a go over the weekend. I want to focus on squeezing as much writing as I possibly can until then.

Sodomy.

>>30738863
Sounds good to me

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A while ago I talked about writing a story about Luna and an eldritch being which caused recurring dreams in ponies.

Because I'm a piece of shit, I only got around writing it recently.

Here's the prologue, if anyone's interested: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uNJJxIdBvKzVWxcYyyGWnVnmp9GOc7ut-Mw08jw_iQ4/edit?usp=sharing

>>30726841
have you read it yet?

FIMFiction needs a proper review section. Chapter comments tend to be circle-jerk and I don't think Baal Bunny knows how badly he screwed up this story.

What makes a fic riffable? Is it the "so bad that it's good" subcategory? What are the criteria, and what fits the definition?

>>30740581
All of the ones done so far were insanely wacky to normal people but played straight by the writer.

I wouldn't say so bad that it's good, more along the lines of bad yet not complete gibberish. Low quality fics are low hanging fruit, but then more riffers will focus on the mechanics of the writing instead of the quality of the content.

>Calling Angel somepony
RACISM!

>>30740581
At the very least it needs to have several ridiculous, and therefore funny, elements, though ideally the story should have fundamental issues you can make fun of. A lot of stories have concepts, dialogue or plot points that are so bad or nonsensical that they're unintentionally funny, but the ones that have persistent problems (like the whole of the plot being bad, or the characters being terrible), are the ones that are worth riffing the whole of.

A good bad story is nearly always written by someone who's incompetent, somewhat delusional, or ideally both. For example they may have an idea about a cool action story, but be such terrible writers that their execution of an otherwise workable idea becomes laughable. Alternatively, the writer may be competent enough as a writer, but have completely wrong ideas about what fundamentally works. Say someone who can write nice dialogue, but doesn't think that dialogue through, inadvertently creating absurdities.

It's also worth noting that merely being bad doesn't make something good. "Grimm's Equestria" (as far as I can remember, it's been a while), is a truly bad story, to the point where it's more or less incomprehensible in parts. It also isn't very funny.
Most bad stories are like most bad movies, in that nothing actually happens, and what little happens is communicated or shown so poorly that it doesn't even manage to be unintentionally funny. The riff difference is the difference between making and forcing jokes.

>>30739392
Good to see you're finally writing it. The prologue seems all right so far. You should add a section break when it goes from Luna's POV to the therapy session and back, to make it more clear what's going on. My only other comment is that "The Bad Dreams" is pretty much the blandest title you could possibly use for this fic.

>>30741794
Oh, that's just the working title until I write the whole thing because having "Untitled Document" up there tingles my autism, for some reason.

I'm notoriously terrible at coming up with titles, so I can't promise a great one, though.

>>30731231

Maybe you could convey whatever is being shown through this dialogue through another way. If a scene isn't working don't try and force it.

>>30742040
I just thought it would make sense that, since in my story Ponyville is under a strict quarantine, to have a meeting amongst certain ponies to decide a course of action for the town while they remain isolated from the rest of Equestria.

It makes sense, because that's what would happen if a town were to be quarantined and you have to figure out a way to still function within the boundaries of said quarantine.

The problem is that meetings are god damned grating.

But I managed to power through most of it after twenty five months of writer's block. Now to wrap it up, edit it, and end with a cliffhanger because I hate whatever little audience my story still has.

Wingguns and dongblades

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>>30743301
>dongblades
W-why would you do that, Anon?

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>>30743301
That is NOT WHO WE ARE and that is NOT OKAY!

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>>30743301
What manner of madness is this?

>>30743414
>>30743759
>>30743793
Would you all prefer mouthdongs and wingdongs?

>>30733352

>>30744944
>mouthdongs
So, every kiss would be a blowjob?

>wingdongs
Getting a hard on would ground every male pegasus.

Riff my skiff

Riff my spliff

Read anything interesting lately?

>>30749042
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/331376/treasures
Adventure fic starring 8-year-old Daring Do. Filly Daring is pretty cute in this fic, and the adventure parts are surprisingly quite serious given her age.

>>30749042
I just read https://www.fimfiction.net/story/19308/the-rummy-business-of-old-blooey

It was pretty fun. The narrative style is interesting, as are the two main oc's. I do wish we could have gotten more Blueblood, though.

>>30750118

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>>30725971
>celestial is on a diplomatic mission to saddle arabia

>>30751466
Princesso cilantro is always trying to help

>>30751466
>>30751912
>tfw all the memories of Princes Celery come back rushing
Man, I miss Andre.

>>30752658
That was truly some so-bad-its-really-just-terrible stuff

>post blog
>leave it up for a day
>delete it
>repeat ad infinitum
Does Andre not understand the purposes of having a blog?

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>>30725971
>this thread is still up

Amazing.

Does that writer guy still come here? The one who was moderately successful on fimfic.

>>30754243
Define "successful".

Umpb

Plumbus

syzygy

"You know what would be a good idea? Make a parody of an ultra popular story from five years ago."

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/382781/queen-chrysalis-loves-tea

Maybe we should ignore the last handful of seasons sometimes and write original things again, even if it clashes with Canon.

And no I'm not talking about wings, just, a good fanfic doesn't have to follow canon religiously, it just has to be good.

Page 9.

>>30757815
Everything I write I do so in S1-S2, mostly S1. The magic was still intact there.

>>30756851
I saw that being feature boxed and gave it a try but not even halfway through I already stopped following what was going on with the pony/changeling guards and generally what the fuck was happening, then I realized I don't care so I closed the tab and called it a day.
I'd say a solid 8/10

>>30757833
eh

and so the fandom died.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrUivONN9Mg&index=7&list=RDmqzuq7EkzeI

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>>30760386
No, it didn't die. The world would be fortunate if it did.

No, it's only getting distilled by the patented Hasbro process[patent pending]. The process removes all contaminants, including but not limited to: normal people, old 'channers, shitposters, good writers and artists; using a series of methods which total: steadily worsening episodes and plots, general disinterest and the "moving on" effect; only to leave the following in a highly concentrated form: rabid bronies who define their entire life around FiM and couldn't let go even if they signed up for 'nam, relatively talented and possibly furfaggot artists who're making art only for the money, weird elevens and their wonderful drawings, faggots who got on the ride way too late and either see it as completely dead and/or infested with human filth and leave soon afterwards.

Ever wonder why fandoms get such a bad wrap? Bronies are the new trekkies.

>>30760550
>only to leave the following in a highly concentrated form: rabid bronies who define their entire life around FiM and couldn't let go even if they signed up for 'nam, relatively talented and possibly furfaggot artists who're making art only for the money, weird elevens and their wonderful drawings, faggots who got on the ride way too late
And which of those are you?

>>30760721
You should know from chemistry classes that, theoretically speaking, isn't perfect. It takes many years for all of the unwanted elements to get filtered out.
In denial.

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How long does it take for a story to be approved?

I've been waiting almost two days, story is 15,000 words.

>>30760721
I'm only still here because of you faggots. stopped watching mid season 5, havent read any horsewords in a couple months, havent updated the pastebin since mid january not that theres been much to update it with

this thread is truly my only link to horsefuckery

>>30761176
>fan of the fandom

>>30761027
My excrement was 1500 words only and it got approved within 3 hours. It depends.

>>30761027
Shouldn't take more than a couple of days, there's some sort of auto-approver now (or rather, auto-rejecter), so things are slightly faster than before.

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>>30754615
He put out one or two stories I read back in the day and proofread a chapter of something I never finished with.

Can't remember his name though.

I have to write a huge report for >school and I'm going to spend time reading instead because fuck me I'm lazy.
Also page 9 bump.

>>30763612
How old are you?

>>30763620
I'm not <ageb& if that's what you're asking, just doing long, boring, academic studies.

VOICE

I KNOW YOUR SECRET

>>30763645
Good lord, which one?

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>>30763673
You're a degenerate furry!

>>30763710
I'm more disappointed by this being written erp and not audio.

Market yourself properly, vg.

Here's a video of Andre speaking: https://youtu.be/pVwH3dr34XY

>>30763710
Did he cum?
Cliffhanger of the fucking century right here.

>>30763821
Well, Emerald is pretty much guaranteed to be a dude, so voices might ruin the mood.

>>30763710
>no comment

I'm disappointed, voiceguy. I've seen mental retards that could do more than just /me moans one liners.

>>30765322
indeed. no wizard hat or pooping back and forth?

sad.

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>>30765839
>not ERPing regularly
I pity the fool.

Too bad the MLP scene is full of autistic anthro OCs with a thousand dicks. I'd romance a cartoon horse.

>>30760550
Am I the only one who's looking forward to the comfy post-show phase?

>only getting distilled
If anything, I'd say age has been the biggest factor. Most of the fandom was in the late teens to early twenties when they hopped on the ride. They had plenty of free time to blow. But now, out of college and with a job and responsibilities, they have precious little time to devote to colored horses--and even less time to create art, fanfics, and argue about it.

With S8, MLP will surpass Star Trek: The Next Generation in both episode count and number of years its been on the air. That's how long the ride's been going on for.

>>30766789
>post-show
>comfy
How is an age of death comfy? Will you be swirling a fucking glass of wine when the last star winks out, too? It's horrifying, not comforting.

Voiceguy's probably committed suicide from shame by now.

>>30767910
deviant furry erpers have no shame

>>30768090
I do.

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It begins...

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What's the dumbest thing you've come across in pony fanfiction?

>>30770384
The fact that pony fanfiction exists.

There's a new book of AAG side stories, "The Breaking Straw".

>aag: tbs, chapter 1

News report mostly laying out stuff we already know. The humans know about Sterling and that Cadance and Twilight have both adopted pepsis, and Spike tells them about Imago and the flutterponies, who I guess are not super-duper-classified any more. Also, Robin's ex-wife is suing him for literally 20 billion dollars, on the theory that he secretly implanted her with someone else's embryo. Which is kind of true, but not on purpose.

>aag: tbs, chapter 2

Luna has never heard of Barbara Streisand. She asks the pony CIA to block photos of Sterling from the entire internet. Too bad she didn't think of this before announcing Sterling's existence to the entire world.

Twilight has had Nice Pepsi "legally declared thirteen years old". Her actual age is 6 weeks. Also, Nice Pepsi calls Twilight "Mom" and Shining Armor "Dad", which I found mildly amusing.

Moondancer runs a test on some changeling remains to make sure it's really Chrysalis's body they found. It is. Also, Chrysalis magically booby-trapped her own skull so it blows up when scanned. (But only after playing back a recorded warning. Wouldn't want anypony getting hurt, after all.)

>aag: tbs, chapter 3

Flash Sentry and Scootaloo get to fly some new planes with special cockpits designed for pegasi. It's got force feedback for their wings or something like that. Somehow these systems make pegasi unbelievably good fighter pilots, so now they have a chance against Mr. Taco's magical jetplanes.

>aag: tbs, chapter 4

DJ's moving in to the new house in Canterlot. Rarity comes to help but just makes bitchy comments about DJ's life decisions. Rarity tries to ship Sam with Chatoyance (who's Rarity's assistant, by the way), but Sam is too busy fucking Celestia silly.

On the positive side, non-hitler Sunset is moving in to the house next to DJ's.

>>30771019
>aag: tbs, chapter 5

This is about where it starts getting "good".

Celestia is pissed tha Luna is shirking her duties, taking a vacation on human-earth to bond with Sterling. She and Sam go to Malaysia, where Luna and Sterling are. Sam tells the inspector-general of the Royal Malaysian Police that Luna and Sterling are REAL agents, and asks him to spy on them. For some reason, he goes along with this obvious ruse, and Celestia and Sam go to confront Luna and Sterling.

They meet in a room in some old Buddhist temple. Two best sisters start yelling at each other, blowing out all the windows in the building. Sam and Sterling leave halfway through to hide out at the coffeeshop across the street. Also, Sterling is the alicorn of language and inexplicably knows a spell to teach Sam to speak fluent Malay.

Celestia and Luna get their shit sorted out, and hold an impromptu press conference despite having no hope whatsoever of explaining why they just blew out the windows shouting at each other. Also, they found out during their argument that dear old mom maybe isn't so dead after all.

>aag: tbs, chapter 6

This whole chapter is from the POV of some Jack Bauer wannabe, who somehow got himself appointed head of the Bureau of Extradimensional Investigation. He's boring as hell so I'm just going to ignore everything about him.

Some Human Defense Alliance guys (HDA being the unholy alliance between the KKK and the Black Panthers) execute a random girl on livestream. The girl is completely human but happens to be named Sterling Kirkland. I mean, I guess it works for sending a message, but I can't imagine making a name for themselves by executing random 13-year-olds is going to be good for future recruitment.

Anyway, for some reason they shot this non-magical girl with an anti-magic bullet, made of "preacher's iron". So now the good guys know that the HDA has these "godkiller" bullets, capable of killing an alicorn.

>>30771025
>aag: tbs, chapter 7

Luna flips the fuck out and moves Sterling into hiding. So in this chapter, Sterling is stuck in some fancy-ass pony hotel, with no idea where she actually is, and bored out of her mind. Fortunately, good old Aunt Celestia comes to clue her in.

You see, this is no ordinary hotel - it's a talking space hotel. The building and all of the staff are merely fragments of a single sentient being, which lived on a dying planet in a parallel universe for millions of years. Twilight's team found that world during the decade-long search for DJ, and Ponk quickly made friends with the creature. It returned to Equestria with them, where it's been living for years as the Mt. Canterhoof Resort.

To keep Sterling safe, she had the space hotel return to its home planet, and that's where Sterling's been staying for this entire chapter. (Hopefully nobody noticed that a major resort vanished into thin air.) Since things are better under control now, Luna has them all come home.

By the way, when the space hotel left Equestria, it left a baby behind. So in another five years or so, a little valley near Prague will have a fully-grown talking space hotel of its own. And, naturally, with Sterling being the alicorn of language and all, she's just been appointed as the official space hotel wrangler, in charge of overseeing both resorts.

>>30771019
>"legally declared thirteen years old"
Why?

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>>30771028
Shin has got to be doing it on purpose by now.

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>>30771025
>she's just been appointed as the official space hotel wrangler

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>>30771525
Alternative version with less clutter.

>>30770384
I remember a while back I read this story by Aegis Shield about Big Mac starting a revolt due to stallions not being properly appreciated in Equestria. The story itself was pretty damned stupid nad had lots of questionable headcanon, but it was fun enough to read.

And then the story ends with Celestia creating a new coin. A red coin worth five bits with Big Mac's face on it.

That alone is dumb enough, but apparently Celestia sent one of these to every household in Equestria.

I mean, if it was a commemorative coin of sorts I could kind of see the point, but wouldn't this destabilise the economy of the entire kingdom?

https://www.fimfiction.net/group/1280/the-diamond-cutters/thread/330406/amores-diamondbloom-shipping-contest

Write your best Diamond Tiara x Applebloom fic that isn't clop for a top reward of a 100 USD, second place 75 USD, third 25 USD. So, yeah.

>>30771085
Presumably it's meant to be in line with her level of maturity, to allow her to lead a mostly normal life. I think it's a bit of a lost cause, though, what with her being one of only two pepsis in the entire world who aren't currently plotting the overthrow of the Equestrian government.

>>30771525
Great work, anon

For clarification, my prize rewards are actually.

1st - $75 USD
2nd - $50 USD
3rd - $25 USD

>>30771823
>as a part of my birthday i'm going to pay others to write fanfiction

>>30771905
I think it's more along the lines of "I'm going to pay to have others write fanfiction and get another dozen or so people do it for free."

Before Bed Bump

>>30771905
Don't do it, because there is a chance they'll just take your money and never get the commission done.

""cough cough, Voiceguy, cough cough""

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>>30771028
>To keep Sterling safe, she had the space hotel return to its home planet

>>30773090
better get that cough checked out, beedin'

>>30773090
Voiceguy is too busy spending that hard earned money on furry ERP to bother with commissions, man.
Bad furry ERP at that.

>>30725971
Has there been anyone that's tried to write anything "deep"?

Hard mode: And it was actually okay
Impossible mode:It was good enough that you would read it again

>>30774279
Define "deep". The word itself is such a buzzword nowadays that you can't really know what you mean without explanation.

>>30774346
Characters that are complex enough to generate discussion around them, stories that are ambiguous leaving room for analysis and deconstruction, or a deeper meaning, and I'm not talking about the one shots that are just trying to shove their moral down your throat.
At least one of the above

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>tfw you hate Glim Glam so much you try to kill yourself

>>30766843
>no future episodes to fuck up fanfics
>no future episodes to disappoint you with how they fucked things up
>headcanons solidify into fanon
>drama slows to a crawl
>people trying to cash in and make money have to do something else as the well dries up so only those with a real passion for pone are left
>Gen 5 looms menacingly on the horizon, bringing hope for the nostalgic old days and despair at how it could all go wrong
I don't know about you, but I'm going to love it.

>>30770384
That one edgy HiE fic where the human got access to 2,000+ year old human tech (including gunpowder) that was "hermetically sealed."

The best part was the ensuing argument in the comments, where the author tried to explain that the tech was in a climate controlled vault that somehow still had a working power source after two millenia.

Keep in mind, this was all just standard 21st Century tech.

>>30774808
>attempted an heroing over microhorses
I'm not sure if thats pathetic or should be encouraged

>>30775633
Ask Voiceguy, he and his ERP buddies seem to be in the know.

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who here "Slice of Life" master race????

>>30776186
The best Adventure is better than the best SoL could ever be.
Fite me.

underrated bannana-hush x anon
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/381807/speak-from-the-heart

>>30774949
whynotboth.png

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I finally finished another chapter of Blankness. That only took eight months...

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rqfdcRxN3mqsQZ1Pmsg3dTwKNfdqlQgV2jKEruVVi90/edit?usp=sharing

I want to update before the day is over, so if anyone could give it a look, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Now to go cry in a corner over my failures.

>>30771823
>>30771855
>mature tag not allowed

Booooooooooooooooo

Is there a Fimfic archive anywhere? I was looking for a story that I'd read before, but it looks like it was taken down.

>>30779504
Do a clopfic and then change all the sex with hardcore cuddling.

>>30779537
https://fimfetch.net/
There's also a complete FiMFic archive: https://www.fimfiction.net/user/116950/Fimfarchive

>>30778605
Fuck it, it's up.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/205416/9/blankness/9

Now to see if I can write chapter 10 before the year is over.

>>30779554
Looks like the story wasn't cached on fimfetch, and it got published in mid-June, so after the other guy's archive.
This'll teach me not to back up the stories I like, I guess.

>>30779596
>This'll teach me not to back up the stories I like, I guess.
Wait, I got that backwards.

>>30778605
If it helps, I'm proud of you, Zaid.
I mean, your rate isn't exactly spectacular, but at least you're writing something.

>>30779548
There was this fic about Spike cuddling each of the M6 which made me extremely aroused with its detailed description of rather chaste physical contact.

I think a love story including hardcore cuddling can work.

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>>30779638
Th-thanks...
>your rate isn't exactly spectacular
I know, this chapter has been grueling, but I'm happy to have made it through even if the end result is far from what I would have liked. Anyway, I feel optimistic because I've been looking forward to writing the next part of the story ever since I first got the idea for Blankness.

Also, I made a promise with myself that I wouldn't publish any of the other stories I've been hoarding until I made progress on Blankness, so sometime tomorrow I'll publish a one-shot I've had lying around since last year.

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>>30779663

>>30780629
The Cuddler sounds like a Silver Age Batman villain.

"Watch out for The Cuddler, Robin! His snuggling antics have Gotham on edge."

"Holy rubs, Batman!"

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>>30780642
Imagine a ridiculously PG rated Gotham.
>It was on that fateful day
>In that alleyway behind the theatre
>The man just... ran up and... and...
>hugged both my parents right in front of me.
>From that day forth, I have never embraced anyone.

>Why, exactly, are you *bat*man?
>Who the fuck would hug a bat?

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>>30780642
>you will never be a serial cuddler
>you will never wait in a dark alley to snatch an unsuspecting mare
>you will never cover her mouth with your hand to prevent her from screaming while you whisper sweet nothings in her ears
>you will never run you fingers through a crying mare's mane while telling her she's a pretty pony
>you will never viciously begin scratching her behind her ears as she squirms desperately beneath you
>you will never see her soul break as your hand moves slowly towards her chest fluff
>you will never cruelly grab a handful of her tuft and run it through your hand feeling the soft velvety fur tickle you fingers
>you will never get to flip the mare onto her back and finish what you started
>you will never rub your face on her belly while tickling her unconscious

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>>30780685
>Tell me, Superman.
>Do you boop?
>You will.

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>>30780735
>Marvel starts publishing the (intellectually distinct) Batmare as competition

I legitimately think your all terrible people sans maybe Zaid.
Get some counseling.

>>30781131
alright

>>30781131
Don't forget putting zaid on a pedestal, hes just as bad as the rest of us. And we're all perfectly fine with being terrible people

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>>30781223
It's true. I do my best to be kind and helpful but I know that, deep down, I'm just another prick.

>>30781877
Then you're not really doing your best to be kind and helpful, just making a half-assed attempt to make yourself feel better.

You prick.

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>>30781880
You're probably right.

>>30782599
no, YOU bump

>>30782642
I'll bump when and where I wanna bump

>>30783093
I'll bump you from behind right now if you know what I mean, new IP

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What are some stories fitting in the 'lore' realm? I'm a big guy for you fantasy type settings with magic, artifacts, ancient creatures, ancient knowledge etc, and I'd like that transfered to my poners in the mythical land of Equestria and beyond.

>>30783262
Well, Dangerous Business and Will of Evil are some prime examples of great lore.

The Austraeoh series too, to an extent, but you'd have to read several 200 chapter stories to get the full experience, and nobody should do that at this point.

Letter from a Friend at the End of the World did this as well, but even though the first book is done, the second one died right off the bat when the author went to Japan, and it stops in such a cliffhanger that almost sours the entire experience.

>>30782048
No, YOU'RE probably right!

Am I the only one who finds any HiE fics cringe as fuck, even if it's well written? And I literally want to delete the fandom when I see one of those in the future box. It's almost like anthro except I don't give a fuck about anthro.

>>30783412
Ok, well thanks for the information. I will certainly look into those. Feel free to drop any other titles though, if you know any.

>>30779742
And here's that one-shot.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/338304/room

I want to turn this into a full-fledged story later on. Probably after I'm done with all my current projects.

>>30783262
Read this one recently >>30749093, it's pretty nice. Daring is exploring an ancient ruin, so of course it's full of ancient enchantments from a lost civilization and all that good stuff.

>>30784731
>With no recollection of prior events, and no idea of how they got there, each of the girls wake up in a dark room.
"Each" is singular, you scrub

>>30784796
Whoops.
It's fixed.

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Las thread I talked about writing a one-shot about Moses and the Israelites wandering into Equestria on their way to the Promised Land.

Well, I actually started writing the damned thing, but I can't decide whether or not to split into verses.

Thoughts?

>>30785192
>Moses in Equestria
Wat

>>30786039
Last thread some Anons were talking about humans from different story periods going to Equestria rather than your run of the mill twenty something brony or your run of the mill twenty something brony who became the third party character he was disguised as. Around here I joked about imagining the Hebrews wandering into Equestria on their way to the Promised Land >>30686891

Some other Anon said I should make it a one-shot written in the style of the King James version, so that's what I'm doing.

I was just wondering if I should separate them into verses.

Extremely general question: What's a really good comedy fic? (Besides the ones in the starter kit).

>>30786271
I just checked my favourites to see if I had added a new comedy, and the last one I did is this one:

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/141746/roll-for-initiative

As someone whose only exposure to tabletop games is reading /tg/ greentexts, I found this to be quite interesting and fun.

'k so.

How do you feel when a chapter ends in a cliffhanger and you don't know how long it'll be until the next update?

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>>30783412
>you will never again read about Reiziger being aggressively assholish to some pony/deer/changeling

Name a FiMFic user you absolutely despise or your mom will die in her sleep tonight.

>>30786092
>I was just wondering if I should separate them into verses.
Numbering the verses would be sort of neat, for that extra little bit of authenticity. But if it gets too annoying then I don't think it's any big loss to leave them out.

>>30786776
Depends what not knowing means.
If there are semi-regular updates, then that's great, I want more, and I'll just wait.
If it's irregular updates but still alive, that's just sad, and if it's completely dead then fuck you, the author.

>>30784282
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdf1eLW87qg

>>30787689
knighty
I don't have anything to lose

https://pastebin.com/sd0FNZ9F
enjoy

>>30787689
I don't care enough about horsewords to despise anyone.

>>30788321
Does Voiceguy still read stuff that doesn't appeal to his specific tastes?

>>30788614
I want Voiceguy to do his own ERPs.

>>30786776
I feel just fine as i click to open the next chapter.

you know, because I generally don't read incomplete fics

>>30725971
Is it just me and my shit internet, or does drive start to shit itself at around 7k+ words?

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>>30789348
Must be you.
What are you writing?

So what happens when the Crystal Empire goes to war with the Dragons because the Dragons think they're tasty snacks?

>>30789457
How do Crystal Ponies taste?

>>30789382
I don't want to say, but only because I don't want to feel committed to it. Let's just say I've been watching too much X-Files. It's shaping up to be one of those little stories that you leave bleeding out in a bathtub after you've cut out all its better ideas with rusty instruments. Still, it would be nice to highlight, scroll, move the cursor, backspace, replace, type, or do fucking anything without a half-second delay.

>>30789497
Rock candy

>>30789653
Will Pinkie Pie end the war effort by teaching the dragons the wonders of confectionery industry?

>>30789500
I'm gonna blow your mind but why don't you edit it in WhateverOffice and import it in Docs when you're done?

Or, yknow, buy a better computer

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PREPARE YOURSELVES - 7DSJ RISES AGAIN!

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>>30790781
FUCK

I saw this blog post and figured I was off the hook for this week

>>30790781
hype.

>>30790793
>Need to move my videos off Youtube
Is there a story to this?

>>30790895
This is Shin we're talking about. I'm not sure anything that is a 'story' can be told in that context without massive amounts of needless DRAMA and unrealistic spec ops bullshit.

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>>30789497
With their tongues?

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Where do you draw the line in story length? I'm normally willing to read something up until 230~250k words. More than that and I have to wonder if the author really knows what they're doing.

>>30791541
I usually read longer than 100k fics on recommendation only, but I think my mental line is at half mil. I'd have to look what the longest fic I read ever was, but a single work was probably below 300k anyway.

>>30791541
I dont. Outside of clop I'm not a big fan of one shots and quantity has a quality of its own. As long as its readable I prefer longer fics

>>30791541
DoWaS and Final Solution together are currently at 500k, or the LotR mark. I've technically read some things past that, but ~500k is my limit. I also don't trust someone who masturbates to little cartoon ponies to be able to write something coherent for longer than that.

>>30788636
Oh, I've got a shitload.

>>30793237
>being into scat

>>30793251
That's not one of them

>>30793289
List all of them.
Or should I use your reading of Celestia's Relaxing Vacation as a template?

>>30793237
>>30793289
Voiceguy pls, finish the aforementioned disability story, i've been waiting so long.

>>30793296
I can already see the next thread.

>ITT: Voiceguy's extensive list of fetishes (Scat's not one of them)

Vore
Anal vore
Breast vore
Cock vore
Unbirth
Hyper breasts
Hyper cock
Excessive cum
Giant sperm
Gynecomastia (Male breast development)
Futa
Traps
Nipple fucking
Bestiality
Incest
/ss/
Sleep sex
Urethral play


>>30793327
K

>>30793446
You are a horrible person.

>>30793446
thank god, I've been waiting months man, I need that next session of chapters done.

You do remember which ones are next right?

>>30791541
>tfw you're halfway through Re:Harmony and were there when it had under a hundred upboats
Chapter length dictates things for me a lot more than overall story length does. When chapters are the length of novellas, it really makes me disinterested in cracking into the fic.

>>30793446
>Giant sperm
And here I thought mine was odd.

>>30793446
>Giant sperm
Explain.

>>30794233
I'm more confused about anal vore. is that like reverse pooping? because sticking people up your ass isnt vore, its just sodomy

>>30794246
I'm pretty sure most of those are acts of sodomy in one sense or another.

>>30794233
The first thing that pops to mind is someone shrinking themselves and going inside someone's body ala "Fantastic Voyage" and travelling down to their testicles for some hot sperm action.

Question for you folks. What are some "So bad they're funny" fics that are worth reading? I'm looking for some stuff for a project.

>>30795299
fuck off tripfag

>>30795299
Yours?
I'unno. Andre's works qualify, check in FiMFetch.

>>30794958
I feel it's kind of misleading to call that "giant sperm", when the sperm is in fact normal sized.

>>30795905
It's all a matter of perspective, Anon.

>>30796292
And my perspective is that Godzilla-sized spermatozoons is a whole lot more funny than a small dude being inside someone's balls.
Perhaps not more erotic, but certainly funnier.

>>30796358
I've seen someone with a fetish for extremely oversized sperm.
It ranged from tadpole to small egg sized.
I don't get it. Do they stick eels up their cooter too?

>>30796381
Then they're clearly not thinking large enough. Or maybe that would be getting into macro/giant ferishism.

>Do they stick eels up their cooter too?
That's a thing.
https://youtu.be/sticXkHxZC4

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Are you ready kids?

>>30797159
>20,000 words per week
Not sure if--
>Twice as Bright, by Cloudy Skies
>Lost and Found, by Cloudy Skies
Yeah okay I'm hype

>>30793446
How many dollarydoos for you to RP with me?

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Why is this allowed?

So, when will AAG-7DSJ anon once more descend into the breach of insanity?

>>30797839
Because Satan rules over the world with sadistic glee.

Does anyone have the cap of some anon reviewing fanfiction one line at a time? shit was funny

I never saved that one, but the original riffs are here.

https://pastebin.com/u/notkickass222urmom

>>30798634
Which one was that?

Question, why has Voiceguy stopped reading my fanfics? Does anyone know?

>tfw Half Life got the "I'm cancelling the story but here's the synopsis in a blog post" treatment

>>30794246
>is that like reverse pooping?
It's like a suppository, but it's with a living being.

>>30800545
Well, it's better than nothing, right?

>>30797477
5 dollars

>>30801861
>new IP
How many dollaridoos for me to ERP you?

>>30801910
Do you mean with me? Or as me? If it's as me 5 dollars

>>30801972
>selfcest

>>30802007
I love me, I can't help it

>>30802243
Get used to it, because there's nary another soul alive who'd do that.

>>30802321
Well if you meant ERP with me 5 dollars

>>30802383
Do I get a discount for sharing your weird fetishes?

>>30802383
I'll pay you zero dollars until my conditions are made.

>>30780629
>>30779663
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/330387/spikes-dragon-code-for-cuddling

>prostitution
How far have we fallen?

>>30803823
>How far have we fallen?
We were already at the bottom of the barrel, we're only moving sideways.

ITT: Voicey prostitutes himself, gets no customers

>>30804769
That's why prostitutes have pimps.

I hereby appoint myself Voiceguy's pimp.

>>30804829
How much to make him go back and finish reading AAG?

>>30804769
Can I get a refund?

>>30805240
I never started

>>30805240
At least 5 tentacles, maybe more.

>>30797159
It's out.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/383344/to-perytonia

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https://www.fimfiction.net/story/45749/and-the-stars-shine-forth

>two and a half years between updates
>somehow still goes to the feature box

Should I complain? I think I should complain.

>>30807448
The last three spots of the box are reserved for updating stories. Regardless of how long it's been betwen updates, if it meets the heat criteria, it goes in the box.

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Would you pay actual real-life burgerbucks for early access to Shinzakura's newest story?

>>30808900
I won't even read his shit for free

>>30806457
how can I contact you? You haven't been on fimfiction since last Wednesday.

>>30808900
No.
I would accept money to read his stories, though.

>>30811870
Lies. Not even Voiceguy would.

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Ever stumbled upon a story premise so shitty you want to close the tab in disgust but a part of you can't help but want to read?

>>30800229

anyone still here at all?

>>30814135
No.

>>30814164
reply

Can I self promote here?

>>30814075
Read it faget.

>>30815166
Yes.
You can do anything the hell you want here.

>>30814075
>eager and loving females
>How to Defeat the Premise of Johnny Bravo 101

>>30815166
Yes, just don't complain if the thread criticizes it.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/358054/three-dazzling-daughters

Now before you read: my grammar is horrible. I know. So feel free to comment on how bad my grammar is but trust me, I already know it's shit.

>>30807390
Pretty comfy so far desu. I'm a little unclear on the plot Why has there been no contact with Perytonia for 1000 years, when they're only 4 days away by airship? And how do they speak flawless Equestrian after all that time? but the character interactions are great.

Who else here but voicefaggot is degenerate enough to admit they ERP? It's just another form of smut writing.

>7dsj, chapter 27
Yet another chapter of buildup for the wizard war.

As of last chapter, Sunset and the Dazzlings are at the Canterlot Museum, and the cutest, smartest, all-around best human has just arrived through the magic mirror. But her leg's broken and her magic's drained, so she's not up for much wizard warring at the moment. While Adagio puts on the old drill sergeant routine and tries to shout Berry Sue's leg better, Sonata, being the secret daughter of Tony Stark to clarify, that was a joke, not something that actually happened in the story quickly builds an exoskeleton out of a folding chair so she can at least walk normally this, on the other hand....

The girls meet up with the other remaining good guys: Zephyr Breeze, Edgelord McWerewolf, and a few random SIRENs who didn't turn evil. Zephyr naturally mistakes Sunset for Human Edition, so she gets to practice her "30 and a horse" speech. Some SIRENs yell at some other SIRENs for some bullshit reason, and then everyone puts their heads together to come up with a plan.

Step one is to visit the local New Age store to acquire some Officially Licensed HARRY POTTER™ Merchandise. Sunset will charge up the wand they steal time is stopped, remember for Berry Sue so she won't be completely useless in a fight. It's unclear to me why this process requires a fancy replica movie prop (price: $3,000) instead of just using, say, a random tree branch (price: $0), but I'm sure there's some perfectly reasonable excuse for why "grand theft wooden-stick" is justified.

Step two is for everyone to put on some camo, so that the poor reader doesn't forget these guys are all supposed to be black-ops badasses, and step three to fight the rest of the fucking wizard war. But that part happens next chapter, maybe.

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Ever wanted your horses to act more like horses?
Well, now you can!

http://www.equestrianandhorse.com/equus/behaviour.html

>>30816763
Is there any way the wizard war will deliver and not be utterly disappointing? I mean, I have no doubt shin will deliver on the whatthefuckery, but hasn't this war been hyped for at least two books?

Good story recommendations for someone who read the Fimfiction top 100 four years ago?

>>30817299
>Eyes shut.
>Your horse is asleep.

If only I'd known, my story would have been improved tenfold!

>>30816763
Do we even know what the mustache-twirling french villain is even trying to do? Like, from what I barely recall he was going to summon a demon to grant him unlimited power but I'm going to assume he's not summoning Bill fuckin' Cipher or anything.

Then again, this story legitimately crossed over with fucking FNAF in a sidestory so maybe that isn't as outside the realm of possibility as I thought five seconds ago...

>>30817320
>the Fimfiction top 100
What's that?

>>30817379
Yes, actually, his plan was finally laid out explicitly in this chapter. I had assumed he was trying to summon the "Black Unicorn" (Sombra), but it seems his plan is actually to break Grogar free of his prison (a bell) and bind him to his service.

>>30817535
Credit where it is due, at least it's an in-universe MLP villain not done by the show proper yet, and not some completely unique bullshit or rehashed Sombra.

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>>30817299
>that page
nat20 equine lore check passed

I sneezed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1K42akxrzLI&feature=youtu.be

And a video was made

I'm thinking about doing that HL2 episode 3 leaked story summary

>>30818449
But are you leaking?
Leaking giant sperm?

Is anyone else a fan of Psychicscubadiver? They're one of the few really good authors on the site. Their crossover work is entertaining, but their regular stuff is the best I would recommend.

>>30818721
Never heard of him.

And im hesitant to trust anyone's word which praises crossovers

>>30818787

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Note that I used the word entertaining; mostly because they appeal to my 'tism. Psychic's regular work is genuinely good though, I'll stand by that.

>>30818449
Will you do the leak verbatim, or change the names for the actual game names?

>>30818721
I've apparently read and liked "The Endless Song" but nothing more.

I havent been here since EG 1. Do I have to watch the series to get the fics or naw?

>>30819592
Not really. You can learn about the new characters an gimmicks through osmosis just by reading enough fics.

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Has anyone written a Luna clopfic in Old English?

Seems like the kind of thing that would have popped up over the course of seven years.

>>30822292
I've tried a few times.
But I always get distracted by romancing the blue horse instead of anything else.

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>>30822721
Thouh must, Anon.
Not e'en the sterres in the heavens coude ásédeþ mīne þurstes fir the nyght cwén!

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>>30822807
Besides that, I'm not that good at þe olde english.
I basically just cracked open a thousand page Shakespeare original reprint, read that for a bit, then vomited it all over the screen.
That'd maybe explain why it ended up as a sappy romance.

>>30822822
>I'm not that good at þe olde english.
well that hasn't stopped thousands of other horsefuckers from attempting to do lunatalk

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>>30822896
Doesn't stop them from being really bad at it, either.

>>30819063
There's a pastebin that changed the fake names to real names.

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>>30815598
>tragedy
A tragedy requires a bad ending for the protagonist, meaning the protagonist fails to successfully complete the plot. Unless you intend for that kind of ending, I'd really advise removing the tragedy tag.

+1 for having a correct synopsis and cover art.

>>30822292
>Old English
No one would be able to understand what the fuck was going on.

>>30822822
>Shakespeare original reprint
That's not Old English, that's Early Modern English. Pic related's Old English.

>>30823254
No shit. I said I'm not good at old English, which is why I just went with Shakespearian English.
Besides that, I need proper references to write. I'd need to read up on historic English literature to be even remotely successful, and I have no idea where to even start.

You know what could be a fun idea? Luna alternating periods when she gets flustered. She tries to remain approachable by talking in more contemporary dialect, but switches to all out incomprehensible pre-viking parlance when she loses it.

It makes me happy to know I can still find stories that I thoroughly enjoy. That means I'm not a complete nit-picking son of a bitch.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/2432/school-daze

This is a great little story. Cheerilee gets the boot after lots of ponies blame her for the release of Discord (She was the adult in charge when he got out, after all) and Equestria's School Board decides to fire her. Not all hope is lost, however, as Princess Luna decides to extend a helping hoof and send her to a special school for troubled teens in a poor mining town.

If you've seen "Music of the Heart" or any of those movies where a teacher helps a bunch of delinquents and kids rejected by society reach their true potential, this story is that concept in pony form.

Also, there are dozens of references to eighties songs beyond the chapter titles.

>>30823276
You mean there isn't an olde english option in google translate? That's bullshit and we should complain

>>30823254
>No one would be able to understand what the fuck was going on.
That way you can easily deflect any criticisms towards the story.

hump

It's been a couple of hours and we've been stuck at page 8. I don't know if it'll stay that way, but I'll bump before bed just to be sure.

>>30823276
>tfw no one will write a fic about Luna and the word drēam, Old English for "joy, music"
Etymologists still have no idea how dream came to mean "thoughts, images, and sensations occurring during sleep."

>>30830094
>no one will write
No one but you, Anon.
You can do it.

>>30827814

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>>30830875
Hump Us, Anonymous.

>>30830886
If i must

>>30830094
If it's any consolation, I'm writing a Luna dream fic which dabbles into how the German word for "dream" is trauma.

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>>30830891
We shall do the thing with the weather-vane just for thee!

>>30830941
kinky