Super Humans and Power Ponies! Issue #20

Relevant active poll:
https://strawpoll.com/3axw6ahg

>>30703855
I know I'm not allowed to have dubs, but it will happen anyways

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Extra
T H I C C

>>30703917
True, I bet it will be in the first thirty posts.
>>30703874
Try adding what its about when you say an active poll.

>>30703991
True

The post >>30703874 is about the pic I'll commission for the thread

>>30703874
We now have a vote for each choice

>>30703855
Keaton you here?

>>30705554
He'll most likely be here soon

>>30703855
So if Sunset is in the black suit would she have her old personality? Or even more bitchy?

>>30707365
10% more bitchy from her old form.

>>30707372
>Instead of calling Anon and Ray her Sunshines like she usually does.
>She starts calling Anon her 'fucktoy' and Ray 'Owl bait.'

>>30707460
>this scares Ray, despite being a fifty-story tall kaiju.

>>30707644
>He starts nuzzling Anon and Fluttershy(when she shows up) after he hears this
>Needs constant reminders that he isn't Owl Bait
>Flutters calms him down. Having her on speed dial for Tiger hungry Sunset was useful today.
>Oh, and Anon managed to nab Sunset with his "freak accident that gave him lizard powers" and is now tonging her thoroughly behind the ally trashcans while Rarity scoops up the good in a shield.

>>30707654
Sunset better give Ray some treats once the symbiote is off

Working on the update. Should have it finished by tonight

Update is coming along.

Also should i make a poll of who the character of choice will be?

>>30711888
Yeah, I think that would be a good idea.

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>be untitled
>be at a wedding and reception afterwards
>from 8am
>socially somewhat reclusive
>wedding reception was in some fort-wine cellar
>awesome atmosphere
>no wifi or mobile phone signal
>your mental batteries are drained
>be somewhat drunk and excuse yourself
>go as early as the grandparents of the bride and groom who offer to take you with
>accept
>do mental training to see how drunk you are and if you are still allowed to talk to people you barely know.
>translate shit into Arabic in my head to see how fast my brain still is
>good enough
>access phone and check on thread because INTERNETZ
>trepp has trips
>think about that reaction image you always wanted to post
>pic related
>it doesn't fit
>hmm...
>that's some animu shit, right? using some percentage of your power?
>remember you still haven't seen dragonballs dragon of the gods
>there's an old woman besides you
>lean over
"Did you know Goku's Japanese voice actress is as old as you are?"
>apparently she was just talking about refugees passive aggressively because I was next to her
>as it turns out the words that came out of my mouth were in Arabic

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT TREPP

>>30712704
Don’t blame the trips on me. I'm just keeping the thread alive

>>30712745
oh, I blame you. my logic is airtight

>>30711888
gloriosa

>>30712754
Fine blame me.

Also should the pick be whoever or only characters that appear in the stories?

>>30712777
Only the characters that appear in the story.

>It didn’t take long for Lemon to drag you and Sunny to the cafeteria.
>Once outside the cafeteria doors, Lemon released you and dropped you onto the floor.
“Did you really have to do that,” you groaned, pushing yourself off the dirty floor.
> “Nope, but it was fun,” Lemon giggled, skipping into the cafeteria and leaving you alone with Sunny.
>With one push, you were able to get yourself to your feet and standing properly.
“That girl is crazy,” you commented, wondering if coming here was the right choice or not.
>The law be damned.
> “She’s just excitable, Anon. Just be thankful she can calm down unlike Pinkie,” Sunny pointed out, putting her hand on your shoulder for comfort.
>It took you a moment to think it over before you instantly agreed with her.
>You didn’t hate them, but they had more energy than you thought possible.
> “Now let's go in there and meet the gang. I'm sure they’ll be happy to see you,” Sunny reassured, smiling at you.
“I doubt that,” you sighed, looking at the door in front of you.
> “Don’t be like that. The girls know you and it’s not like they’ll gonna do anything ad,” Sunny reassured, letting go of your shoulder and walking towards the door.
>You shook your head and follow her into the cafeteria and was surprised at how many students were in there.
>The place was packed.
>It almost caused you lose your control for a moment.
>Luckily that wasn’t the case as someone snuck up behind you and began push you towards one of the tables.
> “C’mon Anon. Don’t keep the others waiting,” Lemon said, making him sit between a dark blue haired girl and Sunny.
>Looking around, you saw that the other were looking in your direction as Sunny cleared her throat.
> “Ladies, I’m sure you remember Anon and vice versa,” Sunny commented, waving her hand in your general direction.
> “Hi,” Lemon cheered.
> “What’s up?,” Indigo replied, lazily eating a pizza.

>>30714411
> “Not surprising to see you here,” Sugarcoat marveled, her face not showing a hint of emotion.
> “Guess the gang's all here now. Maybe something interesting can happen apart from these losers,” Sour Sweet mocked, pointing at the mass of people watching the group.
>You sighed at their greetings, but were inwardly happy for the most part.
>At least the girls were friendly and didn’t give you too much shit.
>Though Indigo does tend to be a bit rough with you.
>Still at least they weren’t the ones who caused you to be in this school.
“Hey girls. What’s up?” you responded, looking at the plate in front of you and grabbing a burger.
> “You know me. Playing sports and all that,” Indigo stated, spinning a basketball on her finger.
> “Of course that’s what you would do. As for me, I’ve been studying for upcoming tests and working on my assignments,” Sugarcoat explained, taking a bite of salad.
> “And I’ve been doing whatever I want. You should know this, Anon,” Sour mocked, waving her hand dismissively.
“So about the same?” you wondered, looking at all the girls.
> “Yeah,” was the unanimous answer from everyone.
>At the moment, you felt a familiar feeling of peace wash over you.
>It was the same feeling you felt whenever you were hanging out with them.
> “Now i need to ask you all a favor,” Sunny blurted out, gaining everyone’s attention.
>The girls stopped what they were doing as you looked at your sister, wondering what Sunny was gonna ask.
>You had a feeling it was something to do with you.
> “I was hoping any of you would help Anon with his classes and help him settle in. He’s having a hard time being in a new place so I would like for any of you help him get a grasp of it. Plus I don’t want he being shafted or exposed by anyone,” Sunny smiled, drinking her tea.
>The girls started to giggle as your face was getting red.
“Did you just do a dick joke?” you whispered, pulling Sunny close to you.

>>30714428
> “What’s wrong with that? I’m sure everyone is an uprising and upstanding person,” Sunny smirked, giving you a one arm hug as the girls tried to hold in their giggles.
>You shook your head and remembered the one thing you hated about Sunny.
>Her sex and or penis jokes.
“I’m gonna have to deal with this during our lessons,” you stated, knowing the answer.
> “I need to make sure you’re on your toes and not flaccid like some people here,” Sunny giggled, the others looking like they’re just moments away from losing it.
“Goddamit,” you groaned, your head landing on the table.
> “Look on the bright side, at least you won’t be rubbed the wrong way,” Sunny whispered, slapping your back which caused you to lose some control of your powers.
>You jumped a smiggin as the girls shuddered, moaned and began blushing.
> “W-What was that?” Sugarcoat stuttered, showing a lot more emotion you though she could.
>Sour seemed to be squirming from her seat as Indigo tried to look like nothing was wrong.
>Lemon on the other hand had her eyes rolled in the back of her head as it limply hung there.
>You discreetly looked around and saw that a few people were also affected, but no one seem to look in your direction.
>Sunny pulled in close and whispered, “The first thing you’re gonna learn is some control.”

New part of C.A.P.E.S. and forgot to say it on the first part.

Nice update.

>>30715745
thanks

>>30714411
Hey Trepp, looks like you got an extra picture to work toward.

>>30714411
Oh and.
> “Don’t be like that. The girls know you and it’s not like they’ll gonna do anything ad,”
remove gonna* and fix bad*.
>>30714428
>Plus I don’t want he
him*
>>30714452
The pun and joke queen is here. And so is her material. It is a dark day for Pinkie Pie.
Also unf, orgasm shockwave, Anon is deadly to a female clone army.

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Old Man Incog?

>>30717514
>Old man Mous
ftfy

>>30717606
Huh, that does work better. He could be a broken James Joanna Jameson. With shotguns, and blow up sex dolls, and a pickup truck.
>Drunk Sunset "Probably" stole his lawn gnomes, or that bitch Spitfire, she has the resources that run S.H.E.I.L.D., she could do it, or those cultists down the street that keep talking about Doctor Dooms mother coming to visit with her boyfriends.
And this bit of autism is brought to you by lack of sleep, drink a warm glass of your horse spider girlfriends breast milk before bed and snuggle for maximum relaxation.

>>30716658
What would the extra pic be?
I'm gonna have the others commissioned sooner or later so tell me the new idea

>>30716771
thanks. I wanted Anon and Sunny to be different with the orgasm shockwave.

>>30717788
Huh, now that you mentioned it, if Anon is orgasm shockwave, what can Sunny do?
Maybe a pic of Anon and his cousin Indigo sweating as they try to talk the girls down from kidnapping Anon?

>>30717891
Cousin Indigo is in Tonic. Sunny is Anon's sister in C.A.P.E.S.
Sunny and Ann have the same powers with minor differences. Sunny's claws would be long blade like nails and Anon would have a hand that sharpens, for lack of better word.
The orgasm shockwave is something Sunny can do, but Anon has an intense version of it. Think Anon having more power behind it.

The pic depends on how many characters.

>>30717936
I know Indigo is Anon's cousin in Tonic, that's why I said it.
Neat differences between them though, so....would Anon have knife hands in that case?

>>30717947
For lack of better words yes. Anon's hands would become knifes.

i'll keep the idea written down. Maybe I can get it done with another artist

>>30717514
>/k/ Anon 55 years in the future.

>This was it
>"Bwuuuh"
>The night of the living dead
>You try desperately to make yourself smaller behind the kitchen counter as an inhuman shadow twists and crawls ever closer
>Your only weapon, a full mug, clutched desperately in your hands
>As the shuffling steps grow nearer, you can only pray to whatever god might be listening that it will be enough
>'Sniff sniff'
>"Bwaah?"
>She knows!
>Have to make this quick, before it's too late
>Steeling yourself with a grimace, you leap up, your only weapon held before you!
"Aaaaaaahtakeit!"
>Even with one eye shut, you still catch a glimpse of the horrible beast
>Wild, untamed hair, like a lion's mane
>Once-clear eyes glazed over with a sickly film
>Hands outstretched like feeble, grasping claws
>Those claws immediately close on your hands, pulling them and the mug to a pair of searching lips
>You're caught!
>And so, you are again subjected to the sight of Sunset Shimmer draining the life from your only mug of coffee
>The warmth of the coffee and her steadily revitalizing grip suffuses through your hands and forearms
>Gradually, you see her transformation from fiendish, caffeine-starved zombie into your beautiful, glowing girlfriend
>She pulls away with a satisfied sigh and releases your hands, smacking her full lips
>"Mmmh, much better~"
>You check the mug for a second
>Not a single drop
"C'mon, Sunset, I needed that! I have night classes..."
>She giggles with wholly faked innocence, putting a finger to her lips
>"Oh, sorry, babe. Here, maybe this'll help."
"Unless you have another cup of jo-mmff!"
>Her lips capture yours, tongue bypassing your off-guard mouth to share a taste of her stolen bounty with you
>She holds it just long enough for you to start relaxing, but breaks contact before you can reciprocate
>"Have fun at class, hon!"
>Sunset dances past you and closes the bedroom door with a soft 'click', leaving you with an empty mug and the taste of dark roast on your lips
>You can't help but smile

>>30719277
Sorry to just post something short, getting back into the groove of things
Still, I hope you like it!
I did promise to try and be more active in the threads, after all

>>30719277
das not superhero

>>30719324
it's something, dammit!
I could hamfist it and say she's in-costume, but at that point I'm just tacking it on

>>30719349
it's fine. I'm just glad to have you back.
Hey Keaton, did you vote yet?

>>30719412
ye

>>30719416
cool.

Hey Keaton are you up for ideas?

>>30719524
Depends on the ideas, but sure

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>>30719589
>Starlight stays at Sunset's apartment for a few days while visiting from Equestria.
>She is still trying to learn human culture.
>For example when Anon came home, Sunset ran up to him and gave him hug then a kiss on his lips.
>Starlight does the same.
>"S-sorry I thought that's how you say hi to males in this world."
>Yup Sunset brought over another horse woman over.
>Starlight then watches the news on the "magicbox." and they are talking about Spider-Woman, does Sunset tell her or not?

>>30719661
haha, that's pretty cute!
sure, I could give it a try

>>30719679
Play around with it if you want to. It's more of a general idea.

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>>30719988

>>30720157
I'm not treppahcs, I swear!

gonna let the Vote continue for a while longer

>>30720620
you better not be

>>30720691
>gonna let the Vote continue for a while longer
why? is the 50% majority not good enough?
are you waiting for the electoral college to come through?

>>30720745
I was thinking I made the time period a bit short.
So gonna let it go till tuesday

>>30720823
only people who are active in our thread deserve to vote anyways

>>30720839
well I can end it and start up a new poll oh who the choice character will be

>>30720839
>rights for me and not for thee.

>>30721230
the poll's up for the entire weekend
why would you want to decide things in the thread if you don't even show up to participate

>>30721258
Well you raise a good point.

here's the next poll for the character https://strawpoll.com/2wd21y5e

got no time limit for this and point out if i'm missing someone. I'll redo the poll if I need to in the morning

>>30724854
Hot

>>30724854
10/10 orifice, would insert bodyparts I hold dear

>>30724854
Mirin' fingers

>>30724545
Glori

>>30725788
Of course you want her in the pic

>>30725946
why "of course"? I just said so one time before and she'll be only mentioned in my next update

>>30725970
Yeah. can't wait to see how you do it

>>30725981
you didn't answer my question tho

>>30726050
Sorry just woke up. To answer your question, it's just that you said it earlier. I just thought you liked her

>>30726087
I guess I should get writing further then

>>30727153
Same here. Gonna start the Villains Delight green today and hope to make a new update

>>30727153
>>30727262
Can't wait guys.

>>30727345
Gonna try, but i know that this part needs some action that i have to tgink of

>Sunset will never share a elevator ride with Sapphire Shores and talk to her about advertising.

I have three storylines next to one another (Midnight/Hydra/Trixie) which all rely on one another but don't make coherent sense because I'm not a good writer beyond much of the surface stuff

I'm happy to inform you that I scrapped most of what I planned beyond these story arcs and start to build it up again properly, like a real writer does.
While doing that I have some sad news, I'm more and more realizing what a mess I currently have on hand and want to scrap that too or at least rewrite (again), or at least remix

While I'm at it, I also want to include my spider-shim origins story, but I also kinda want to continue with "what's next"

comments, questions, concernes?

>>30727751
That would be interesting and i can see them doing a concert thing together

>>30728481
It soundsfine as long as you still write

>>30728481
Just do what seems right to you.

>>30728832
>as long as you still write
and what if I don't do it here? nor on /mlp/?

>>30728859
Then we would be sad, but it's ultimately your choice.

>>30728859
Your choice but I'll respect it

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>>30728888
>>30728921
what's with all the support? you're like the parents I never had. You're supposed to autistically scream for moar, not tell me to ditch you at a whim

>>30729733
We're more reasonable than most people and we know when people need to move on.

>>30729733
>>30729930
But all we ask is to not forget about us. Where are you going to write it?

>>30730497
good question

>>30729733
When has autistic screeching ever lead to anything other than writefags leaving and assmad anons?

Quick question. Do the symbiotes transfer all the powers from one host to the next?

>>30732678
no, they can only mimic it
like artificial webbing mimicked as organic one.
It's not the same, and certainly not a "transfer"

>>30732690
That's what I meant, sorry. Trying to get the next part of Villains Delight right and remembered the Web of Shadows game

>>30732857
That's a terrifying angel

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Can someone make a Spider-Shim version of this?

>>30733800
are you that super lazy that you can't even edit a picture of this quality, or do you have that little creativity that you need others to come up with one liners?
jesus fucking christ, you even doubleposted within 2 minutes

>>30733823
I'm on my phone, it's kinda hard to draw what you want without a mouse.

>>30733823
Look at the file name between the two threads dumbass.

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>>30733823
Do you have to autistically screech every time someone posts a pic in this thread?

>>30733957
only when it's a blatant repost

>>30733962
And who even cares I don't. Like I said time and time again a lot of people here don't go or hate the Sunset thread.
Last thread had only 63 images. Get that stick out of your ass.

>>30703855
it's reminds me of Mars Attacks.

>>30734850
I remember being scared of that movie

>>30735340
what was the aspect that scared you?

You watch it as kid?

>>30735340
First time I saw Mars Attacks I was 5 or 6. Scared the ever-living shit out of me.

>>30735349
>>30735355
Was young and it was scary to see people disintigrate.
Will say that the music part was funny though

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>>30735381
This was the only that scared as a kid.

>>30735429
>not shitting your pants in secret of nimh
I still have nightmares

>>30735803
never saw that movie.

How is everyone?

>>30736183
Good. Working on Villain's delight and should have it ready for tomorrow

>>30736504
Nice can't wait.

>>30736532
I'll try to deliever

>>30737539
We know you will

Update complete
>Be Spitfire
>...

8000characters, of which we 3 are newly mentioned/appearing Supers
I'll post when I'm home ~6h

>>30739003
Awesome. Can't wait

>>30691686
>Be Spitfire.
>Treehugger has everything she wants now.
>Access to the Wonderbolts and immunity for her actions.
>But you still don’t know if you can count it as a defeat or not.
>From now on she might constantly be there, applying her thumb to you, making you dance how she wants you to.
>You need to advance your own strategy, so far you know already.
>The aces up your sleeves are dropping fast, or at least you won’t be able to use them anymore.
>You know you can’t do anything on the helicarrier right now, in fact, it would be better to just avoid her directly.
>It’s what you hope people will assume. Those who are aware of your relationship to her beyond the surface pleasantries you exchanged over the call just now.
>Taking another few hours to yourself may look weird, but this time you let everyone know where you are going.
>Your personal history is not a secret, and you come here every once in a while anyway.
>The cemetery.
>The fact that once living, breathing people are buried here does not move you much.
>You’re a soldier, you fight for the people who are still alive, and it’s your believe that those who died are better served if you strive for the future.
>Or at least that’s what you’d like to believe.
>You’re almost successful in it too, but it gets to you you every time.
>Why does a name carved in stone in close proximity to decaying organic material have this effect?
>‘Sky Drop’ August 22nd 1976 - March 8th, 2008
>‘Fire Storm’ May 9th 2002 - March 8th, 2008
>You don’t know if they’d be happy or sad that you use the visit for another purpose.
>“Nice weather we’re having, isn’t it?”
>A young woman approaches you, carrying a big bouquet.
>You don’t face her but look up into the sky, looking what she meant.
>It’s cloudy, the sun only comes through occasionally, but it does not look like rain.

>>30739939
>“Rain itself is quite cliche,” she explains as she hands you the flowers, “while full sunshine, I believe, almost seems like it’s mocking us.”
“I see...”
>You take the flowers and smell them for a second before you lay them down to your families grave.
“Thank you for coming all the way out here, Roseluck.”
>“You’ve been a regular for more than seven years, Colonel.” Roseluck crouches down to the grave as well, taking the old bouquet away.
>“This one still have a little life in it.” she comments as she picks out one lily.
>They look all the same to you.
>Technically beheaded and out of water for a while.
>Dead, like most anything in the area.
>Roseluck moves her hand over the flowers head, obscuring it from your watchful eye.
>She twitches shortly as she quite obviously needs to exert herself.
>As she removes her hand again the flower was blooming once more, as if it had just been cut.
>You’ve seen enough extraordinary things that powers don’t catch you off guard.
>Yet seeing a whom you have known for half a decade and had investigated just show you powers was... odd.
>She’s loyal to Treehugger, that much is obvious from her work and the fact that she kept herself under such tight wraps for this long.
>“A gift. From me personally to you,” she hands you the lily, which you take almost automatically.
>Was it her decision?
“Thank you.”
>Why?
>Did she reveal her powers without Treehuggers knowledge?
>No, you just established that she’d be loyal.
>Does she want to change ship?
>Treehugger has all the cards in her hand except for-
>There was something written in really small letters on one of the lily’s leaves.
>Run.
>“Oh, and Treehugger wanted me to update you on your bill,” your head darts back to Roseluck, who was pulling a sheet of paper out of her bag and unfolding it. “You have a bouquet a week- huh.”

>>30739943
>She’s staring at the paper for a second, before looking through her bag again, “I must have brought the wrong invoice.”
>This is an invoice for the Wild Field Hotel in Seaside, Oregon.
>She held it up barely long enough for you to scan it too.
>You look down to the grave again.
>Husband, daughter, and one reserved spot.
>You linger on the last one.
“I need to go,” you slowly say.
>“Excuse me, what?” Roseluck faces you again.
“I need to go,” you remove yourself from the graveside and walk to your car at a fast pace.
>“Oh, well then- We’ll send the invoice to your office. Farewell.”, she calls after you.
>As you walk you get a grip on you try to look around, but not seem to paranoid about it.
>If they are watching you, you can’t give away that you know they are...
>Act natural.
>You haven’t been a field agent in a while, but one doesn’t forget how to do this.
“Secure vehic- on second thought, maybe not.”
>You take out a Laptop and headset. Using the cars interface would be to extravagant.
“Access company files, Camp Everfree, A safe house purchased approximately 3 years ago.”
>It quickly finds the folder in question, but takes a while until it opens.
“Search files for Wild Field hotel. And ah.. analyze text on scanned in bills as well.”
>The computer obeys and returns you a list of bills one by one.
>It’s slow, text analysis takes time.
>But your hunch was right.
>The Wild Field Hotel had been a customer of Everfree.
>Live flower decorations.
>Gloriosa Daisy had a good hand with the tree nursery and the flower fields.
>The same as Treehugger has...

>>30739947
>You close your eyes and rub your temples.
>They have had the same customer.
>Why did you even make the connection?
>When you open your eyes again you see a few letter at the end of the bills.
>You take a quick look over them.
>A lawsuit from some of the hotels guests.
>Withered flowers at a prestigious wedding reception.
>Ms. Daisy was charged to pay the damages the hotel already had to pay their guests for the ruined reception, and they even claim character assassination for their hotels image.
>You don’t read further.
>You remember the rest.
>Or at least enough to fill in the gaps.
>Ms. Daisy doesn’t make such mistakes, no, she could have fixed and flowers who had arrived in a withered condition.
>The easiest solution which comes to mind is sabotage.
>Sabotage by someone who coincidentally takes over the hotel as their client.
>Sabotage by someone who coincidentally can control flowers and make them wither.
>Sabotage by someone who has to gain if Gloriosa Daisy, an agropath, would be desperate.
>She faced losing her families lands.
>She could easily be indoctrinated to try and commit a crime with those powers to gain some money.
>As an agropath, she’d set off your red flags.
>Everyone familiar with those powers and the people who are able to use it.
>You dropped what you were doing and went out to do field work.
>You suspected Treehugger herself, but found a desperate young woman.
>She played you.
>Treehugger played you.

>>30739954
>She served you Ms. Daisy on a silver platter, knowing you wouldn’t be able to resist.
>You kept her off the record.
>A secret from everyone, even Sweetie Drops.
>If you have an agrooath in your pocket you could one day fight Treehugger and cancle out her powers.
>But she served her to you.
>You don’t know how, but somehow your secret trump card is actually some sort of trap.
>Why?
>What about Hamano?
>Stupid question.
>You picked your technopath up only three months afterwards.
>You let out a laugh.
“Run.”
>Roseluck’s personal advise to you.
>Well, before that, you need to pass the buck.
“Call Dr. King, Sombra. Secure line.”
>You lean back while the computer does it work and call is built.
>For your taste Sombra picks up too quickly.
>“Director Spitfire? What’s the matter? It’s odd for you to call me on a secure line.”
“Yes, I have a... kind of secret weapon, and in light of recent events I feel the need to share it.”
>“Is- what are you- No. Hold on for a moment.”
>You hear some rustling on his end.
>“Okay. Tell me what you need to. I’m listening.”
“Treehugger poses a threat, but not one I’m entirely unprepared for. Three years ago I recruited some super powered individuals who’d be able to best her, and I kept them off the books...”
>You begin to tell him everything involving these two talents.

>>30739959
I updated on my laptop and saw 5 new posts in the thread and got really excited until I clicked on the thread and was reminded that I'm a fucking moron

>>30739979
Happens to the best of us. Also Spitfire is more paranoid than thise crazy theorists

>>30740763
but what if the flat earth is actually out there to get you?

>>30740913
Then wrap tinfoil around your head.
Is it wrong i want to see Spitfire have this?

>>30740992
but then how would she sense all the negative energy directed at her?

>>30741156
She'll use that weird machine made from toothpaste, an umbrella, duck tape and a microwave

>>30741180
>duck tape
kek

Continuing from the last Villains Delight green

“Next time you want me to do this, please tell me what i’m getting into,” you begged, walking down the road.
>You decided that after your session with Trixie, if you can call it that, you thought it would be good to take the long way home.
>It was also a nice a calm night so there shouldn’t be any problems with it.
> “Sorry about that, Anon. Figured you could help her though,” Vinyl replied from the other end.
“Your confidence is me is nice, but I would like to be prepared next time you do this,” you muttered, walking past a bakery and a clothing store.
>It's been a bit too quiet for your tastes as the only thing you could hear was your own voice.
>And Vinyl on the phone, but that doesn't count.
>Just as you passed an alleyway, something crashed onto the ground causing you to look.
>From what you saw, it was just a trash can that fell as the lid was spinning like a coin.
> “Something wrong, Anon?” Vinyl wondered.
“Just a trash can falling over,” you simplified, walking away from the alleyway a little faster.
> “Maybe it was a stray,” Vinyl suggested.
“A stray would try and eat some of the garbage, Vinyl. There was no stray there,” you explained, feeling that everything was against you at the moment.
> “It probably got scared once the can fell over. You know how jittery animals are,” Vinyl guessed.
>Thinking about that, you had to agree with her.
>You've seen it happen plenty of times with Fluttershy and the animals she took care of.
>To be fair though, she did jump just as much when something fell over or surprised her.
“Guess that sounds right,” you admitted, shaking your head in an embarrassed manner.
> “Of course I'm right and don't forget it,” Vinyl joked, getting you to chuckle weakly.
>If there’s one thing you’re happy for it’s that Vinyl can ease your mind without trying.

>>30741218
>Octavia can as well with words of encouragement, but Vinyl just lets you know she has your back.
“Thanks, Vinyl. I’m just getting a bit creeped out over here. It’s a bit too quiet,” you admitted, looking around as you heard some leaves rustling.
> “Afraid you’re gonna get axed off or kidnapped,” Vinyl giggled, “You never know when they'll get ya.”
“You need to stop watching those action shows. That would only happen to someone either rich or important,” you laughed, thinking it would be impossible to happen to you.
> “You're important to me and Octy,” Vinyl muttered, causing you to stop, “You’re important to Gaea and Gilda even though she won't admit it. And I'm sure Trixie will warm up to you.”
>Hearing that almost brought a tear to your eyes.
>You've heard that you were important from your parents and that made you happy.
>But hearing it from Vinyl, someone who kidnapped you and joked around, made it feel sincere.
“Thanks. I guess i feel the same towards you and the girls,” you blurted out, walking down the road when you felt something strange.
>Looking down at your feet, you saw a black thread on your foot.
>Before you knew it, you were hoisted into the air as you dropped your phone.
“God Dammit,” you cursed, trying to grab the phone as you rose higher into the air.
>A few seconds later, you were dangling around for a bit, trying to see if you could break free.
>It was impossible and seeing that you were about a good forty feet in the air, you weren’t gonna take any chances.
>Something grabbed your shoulder and spun you around till you were face to face with whoever grabbed you.
>You couldn’t see very well, but you could just make out seven human like shapes as one leaned forward.
>When it's face was mere inches away from yours, you could see that whoever this was had a crazy jaw line and jagged teeth.
>The thing screeched at you, almost deafening you as you gave it a flat stare.

>>30741222
>In the next moment, your world went black as the thing punched you, knocking you out.


“Anon, you there? Why’d you scream?” you asked, hearing your friend and possible fuck buddy went silent.
>That means you’re Vinyl Scratch aka Shocker and you can’t stop yourself from feeling worried.
>Anon screamed and he's not answering the phone.
>You knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't do jokes like this since he sucks at them.
> “Is everything alright, Vinyl? You seem awfully distressed,” Octavia inquired from the kitchen as she made herself some tea.
“I'm a little worried cause Anon screamed and isn’t answering me,” you yelled, covering the phone incase Anon picked up. > “WHHHHAAAATTTT!!!!” Octavia screamed, rushing into the room as you heard dishes breaking.
>You swear you could see her tendrils lashing out at almost everything in the room, knocking stuff over as one hoisted you into the air.
> “WHAT’S WRONG? IS HE OKAY? IS HE HURT? DID SOMEONE DO SOMETHING TO HIM?” Octavia exploded, shaking you back and forth for an answer.
“I don’t know, but I'm gonna go find him,” you confessed, feeling the room spinning.
>That answer seemed to be good enough as you fell to the floor in a crumbled heap.
> “Good and I'll be helping you,” Octavia retorted, pulling you up to your feet.
“What?” you yelled, fumbling a bit as Octavia grabbed you.
> “I'm gonna help you. Now let's move,” Octavia informed, snatching something from the counter, “We'll use this.”
>She pulled you out of your home and towards wherever Anon could be.


New update and I'm actually doing a story for this

Nice update. Can't wait for more and others.

>>30741218
>>It was also a nice a calm night so there shouldn’t be any problems with it.
>a nice a calm

>>30741222
MOM, trepp is using all the numbers again!

>>Octavia can as well with words of encouragement, but Vinyl just lets you know she has your back.
> can as well with words
what?

>>30741226
>“I'm a little worried [...],” you yelled, [...]

>> “WHHHHAAAATTTT!!!!”
Nobody in the history of ever dragged out a "what" (unless the surprise is faked or they were sarcastic)
You say it fast and loud.

--------------------------

>>It's been a bit too quiet for your tastes as the only thing you could hear was your own voice.

>>From what you saw, it was just a trash can that fell as the lid was spinning like a coin.

>[...] you admitted, looking around as you heard some leaves rustling

>>Before you knew it, you were hoisted into the air as you dropped your phone.
>“God Dammit,” you cursed, trying to grab the phone as you rose higher into the air.

>>You couldn’t see very well, but you could just make out seven human like shapes as one leaned forward.

>>The thing screeched at you, almost deafening you as you gave it a flat stare.

>[...]Octavia screamed, rushing into the room as you heard dishes breaking.

>>That answer seemed to be good enough as you fell to the floor in a crumbled heap.

"as" is a subordinating conjunction, joining dependent with independent clauses. It doesn't work how you think it does.

>>30741438
This is what i get for not editing before I post

>>30741226
I have to say once more that I think you could be a much better writer.
I can't really analyze your underlying story structure as it's released scene by scene.
However, I can tell you write rather dry and emotionless, only writing what's actually happening on a surface level. Take the event of Anon being hoisted up as an example.
He feels something strange, but we don't know if it's an eerie feeling in his guts, or an actual sensation like something's around his legs. And that is what you meant, but you failed to deliver on it.
Then he merely observes the thread with no reaction. I know you continue with "Before you knew it", but there needs to be something. (I'm intentionally not rewriting it how I'd go about it, because I don't want to press my style on anyone)
Then he curses and tries to free himself. (and how does he know it's impossible after only a few seconds of being hoisted up, he wouldn't even had the proper time to orient himself, but never mind)
We simply don't know how Anon feels about it.
And you have an Anon who really could have various reactions to it.
Panicmode and "Kidnapping? must be a Tuesday." are both viable for this character, but we don't know.

>>30741593
I'm sorry that writing isn’t my strong suite

>>30741593
>I have to say once more that I think you could be a much better writer.
THAT CAME OUT WRONG
You are a good writer, but you have your bad habits which sometimes are really noticable

>>30741604
FUCK
sorry

>>30741613
>>30741621
I understand, don't worry. It's just i try to imagine what happens and I'm trying to put the right actions in place.
I just have a hard time expressing what/how something is suppose to go.

Will rewrite my last update later and repost when i can

>>30703855
>Treasure Mage
Moar when?

>>30743365

>>30744908

>>30743365
>>30744908
>>30745797
2 updates close to one another and then a series if bumps
This makes the writefags sad.

Thread! Go cheer on trep.
I can't because I'm the one who made him sad in the first place (again)

>>30745996
You didn't make me sad. I'm just pissed when I write on a phone.
But I do appreciate that you point stuff out so I can fix it

>>30703855
Has there been a idea of a dimension hopping Anon?

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>>30746776
>mfw no reality gem yet to make portal gun with

>>30746776
>Anon uses the portal in statue to hop different dimension.
>One is takes place in the 30s and Sunset has two revolvers. calls her Ocelot, she doesn't get it since it's the 30s and vidya wasn't invented yet.
>Another takes place in universe where Sunset is a spider monkey.
>That one time where he fought off werewolf versions Sunset and her friends with Ash Williams.
>That one universe where Sunset was a zombie and slowly walked back because he didn't want to touch that with a 10 foot pole.
>That one universe where Sunset was a guy and slowly walked back because he didn't want to touch that with a 20 foot pole.

>>30746895
I have more things along the lines of throwing in Milf Princess Sunset from Treehuggers timeline ; unreformed Sunset who wasn't stopped by Twilight, but simply failed in her attempt of taking over Equestria; Biker Queen Scarlet who also did not learn a lesson and is still evil-ish
but I'm getting ahead of myself

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>>30746895
>10 foot pole for zombie Sunset.
>20 foot pole for guy version of Sunset

>>30746924
I would love to see more of these ideas.
Also for the zombie one, is that regular zombie or Marvel Zombies Sunset?

>>30746958
Both versions.

>>30746958
>Marvel Zombies Sunset
ehh... 19 foot pole

>>30747094
What would be the weirdest and vest ones he could go yo?

>>30747141
>and vest ones
universes?
you have got to stop phoneposting with autocorrect
how fat are your fingers?

>>30747161
Small phone. Meant best and worst worlds/universes

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>>30746958
>>30747094
>Zombie Sunset webs up Anon and lovingly strokes his cheek.
>"Well who do we here~ Anonymous... I forgot how handsome you looked... So young so fresh, so... ALIVE... It's been so long since I seen you.."
"..."
>"Oh don't be so scared hun.",
>Sunset licks her horrid inhuman teeth.
>"Oh how I loved the feeling of your viscera and blood running down my chin... You look so good it makes me want to rip your throat out all over again."

>>30747248
Wonder if she savors him or not? Make him last i mean

>>30747291
I'm just taking a quote from Marvel Zombies where Zombie Spidey got sent to another reality and sees Mary Jane for the first time in 40 years saying that and stops himself saying "I overcome the hunger before."

>>30747322
I only read the Marvel Zombies vs Army of Darkness

>>30747248
on second thought, I rather have guy sunset touch me with his pole

>>30747345
Do you want the TL;DR version?

>>30747363
Sure. By the way, are they still making the comics?

>>30747377
I don't know.
TL;DR version.
>Spider-Man and other infected heroes were sent to another reality.
>40 years pass since they were infected. Some like Spiderman and Wolverine were able to control their hunger, worked with uninfected heroes and villains to get rid of the disease forming the new avengers against the zombies.
>Sandman can't get infected because of sand then his body was infused with nanomachines son that eats through an infected's rotten flesh.
>The Watcher made sure the infection is only in two realities by creating a paradox.

>>30747467
Thanks

>>30747499
No problem. hopefully that sums up the general story for you.

>>30747510
It generally does.
By the way, did you see the avengers zombie comic? Not sure if that’s the title but it just has classic zombies

>>30747515
Yeah I have.

>>30747248
Nope nope nope nope.

>>30747537
How is it? Cause i was wondering if classic zombies would be anymore trouble than superpowered ones

>>30747555
Not as dangerous, but some are left unguarded.

>>30747555
Jesus trepp. You don't fail to live up to your name. As for the question...well. depends on who gets infected first really and the heroes stance on killing zombies instead of waiting for a cure. It's kind of a tossup to complete retardation and an actual dellema.

>>30747248
Always made me to depressed to finish the story. And I doubt SJW Marvel is going to finish it correctly.

>>30747585
>>30747587
Ok then. So should i skip the comic?
Also why am I getting doubles and tripples? Did i appease a god or something?

>>30747186
Best universe is the comfy bright bimbo heroes universe. Worst? It's probably the SJW Marvel universe.

>>30747613
You get it for....I don't know why. Lord Kek just likes you. As for the comic, eh, it's more a personal taste thing. It's pretty good, and they have zeplins, but I can't remember how many comics they got.

>>30747613
WHAT A CRUEL AND ANGRY GOD

>>30747639
>>30747646
I'm just wondering if I sacrificed a goat without even knowing

>>30747248
>Zombie Sunset explains what happened in her world and she developed a remedy to suppress her hunger.
>Anon then discovers a room full of tore up bodies and starts freaking out.
>"Don't worry I promise I won't do anything to you. Like a said I can control my hunger but I still need to eat, all those people in there are murderers, rapists and other low-lifes. I don't eat innocents anymore."
"What do you mean by 'anymore'?"
>"It's a long story and one I don't want to share because I already hate myself."
"Fair enough."
>Zomset then slides a handgun to you.
"What's this for?"
>"For the very slim chance I go crazy."
"Just one more thing. Why are you helping me get back to my world? You could just be using me to get into a uninfected world."
>"Because it's been 43 fucking years and I can't look at myself in the mirror that's why I'm still wearing this stupid mask, even though you're not my Anon I still love you and know you deserve more than this. Everyone does. I want to get rid of this disease so no more worlds have the same fate as me."

>>30747947
At least she cares to save him. Makes me wonder how his Sunset would react to Zombset or any other alternate versions of herself

>>30746895
>Anon travels to the year 2099.
>Meets his great-grandson that took the spider mantle.
>Finds out that great-grandson is scared of horses.
>Decides to tell him that his great-grandmother was in fact a horse.

>>30748193
"And when she got her powers we started fucking on ceilings and skyscrapers.."
>"STOP RUINING MY CHILDHOOD IMAGE OF SWEET GREAT-GRAMMY SHIMMY!"

>>30748235
That’s pretty cruel. Telling him that Sunset is a pony is one thing, that's another

>>30748618
"Horse girl hips. Horse girl hips."
>"Enough!"

>>30748643
That’s more like it. Maybe say he's part pony as well

>>30748870
>Anon reminds his great-grandson that suffers from Equinophobia that he is 12.5% horse.

>>30748870
>>30749080
>Not telling him he gets his sexual characteristic enhancements from and and a horse girl.
Got to say. Kinda dissapointed. Anon and Sunset were painting the city white together you know.

>>30750598
Anon and a horse girl. Don't text and drive kids

>>30703855
Would Sunset and Evening (her clone) be recruited to the Spider Army? What would happen? Would Anon somehow tag along?

>>30750598
I'm sure he would figure it out

>>30750773
How would Anon feel knowing with all the universes his has one of the few female counterparts?

>>30750773
I say it would be possible. Sunset and Evening could possibly not trust them that much. Anon could be Ottocon for them

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>>30719988
Have this thread ever done Sunset as a Kamen Rider?

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>>30752018
why does it always have to be sunset?

>>30739959
>Triskelion, tenth floor, your office.
>You suppose you would have a good view over Washington, were the Wonderbolt’s logo not before you.
>Many people would be bothered by this.
>Not you though.
>You always thought of it as additional protection against snipers.
>Sure, it was made of a thin sheet of aluminum, or plastic even, it wouldn’t stop a bullet
>The mere visual cover would at least be bothersome to find a proper position for any would be assassin.
>“Director?”
“Hmm?”
>You turn from your view to the door, which had been opened without the perpetrator having knocked.
“Agent Fleetfoot, what a pleasant surprise. I thought you were in France?”
>“The Atlantic isn’t that big,” she shrugs and pats her thighs, “And it was nice to use like... 40% of my power for once.”
>Fleetfoot. Power: Super Speed.
>The friction between skin to skin doesn’t affect her in a physical way though.
>Next to Misty Fly, Fleetfoot’s suit is the only one a comic book artist would have come up with.
>A leotard with with larger arm holes to remove yet fabric where friction may occur.
>You’d wish for less sexualization and more discretion within the Wonderbolts, to give off a better image of legitimacy and authority.
>But friction is not the first problem whe’d face when running fast, hence why a pair of goggles and ear protection count to her suit as well.
>Both items are currently resting on her neck.
>What’s missing is an oxygen tank she needs when actually going fast and she’d get in trouble breathing.
>Limits: while enhanced, her reaction time is still only human.
>Speed limit: through the speed, air is fusing before and on her body on a molecular level and she has to stop.

>>30752247
“40 Percent of your power? That’s oddly specific,” you give her a smile.
>Why is she here? Going to you directly before you get even informed of it?
>She’s supposed to be still on mission wrap up of Misty Fly, she’d not break protocol that way.
>“Is it?” she wonders. “Yeah, I mean, I guess so, but... it’s just a saying, you know?”
>You sit down by your desk and gesture her to do the same.
“What leads you to me, Fleetfoot?”, you ask, barely looking at her as you access your computer and summon a security report of the building.
>“Oh, just- I had some time to pass. Oh! And there was a small meeting I should then fetch you for, but we still have time.”
“A meeting?”, you raise your eyebrows in surprise, “I don’t remember having something in my calendar, let me check.”
>You simultaneously adjust the security report to be specifically about the tenth floor, while you access your calendar.
>There was an invitation to a meeting in 5 minutes which you have yet to accept, and the invitation itself was so fresh you haven’t even been notified.
“That’s kinda last second, and information here is kinda scarce,” you comment.
>All the info on the meeting was ‘meeting’, the time, location, and that it was flagged as ‘high important’.
>That and the attending members.
>“Well, yeah. Hence I was asked to come fetch you.”
>Fleetfoot for a fetch quest, when a peep on your pager would have done?
“If you don’t mind waiting, I’ll just finish something up real quick.”
>You cross reference the meetings members with the security report.
>Almost everyone was already in the meeting room, the others were out on the hall way, around the height of your office.
>Hmm...
>You check the offices next to you, which, at the moment, also house agents.

>>30752252
>Field agents, not bureaucrats.
>...
>Amateurs.
>They should have some false flags in operations at least.
>You look up to Fleetfoot who hasn’t stopped eyeing you.
>She’s usually more fidgety and would idly take in the honors and memorabilia in your office.
>This time she’s looking right at you for any signs of you knowing what’s going on.
“One more second.”
>You change the security report to the entrance hall.
>Civilians, nice.
>Guard duty?
>Not the sharpest tools in the shed.
>You look up to Fleetfoot once more
>You smile.
>Deviously this time.
>They should have checked your office before pulling this stunt.
>Maybe they thought you would immediately notice.
>Sure, you would have, but this leaves you with the exact advantage you need.
>Everything else you need is already on you anyway.
>You flick a switch and are greeted with the nice hum of electricity.
“Shall we begin?”

>>30752256
more later, maybe
or I'm lost in defenders and will update on Monday/Tuesday

Nice update.

>>30752003
You mean Otacon?
"Sunset, Evening can you two hear me?"
>"Loud and clear cutie."
>"Get on with it."
>"Don't be rude Evening."
"I fitted your suits with a cloaking device that Twilight developed. I hope you find that useful on escapades. If you got any questions about it, Twilight can be reached on frequency 140.96"
>"Noted." replied the stern voice of Sunset's "sister"
"One last thing, I took the liberty to update the firmware of your HUD so it should run a lot smoother."
>"Oh you know how to spoil me."
"Well, I do aim to please."
>"That you certainly do~, maybe after this mission I can stop by and show you my appreciatio-"
>"Will you two give it rest, this is a communication network not a sex line."
"Anyway, if anyone has any questions about the new firmware or the op my frequency is 141.12."

>>30752741
Yes. I can never spell his name correctly.
Nice representation of Evening's personality. It's how i would potray her if she was in a serious green instead of Drunk Sunset

>>30752175

Sure whatever. It can be anyone.

So long as we see teenage girls dressed as karate bugmen.

>>30752175
Because this is all but the Sunset thread. It claims otherwise but every story has her in it and all the little offshoot discussions centre around her, just look at the zombie one above. People can say "Oh but we opened it up and made it about superheroes not Spidershim" but they're just words with no actions, people always come back and make it about Sunset you could merge this with >>30700803 and you wouldn't really notice either way.

>>30752741
>>30752804
It would be nice to see a serious green with Evening.

>>30752817
I've been think of doing a one shot once i get a couple of updates done.
Nothing huge, but something at least

>>30752829
What does Evening look like compared to Sunset?
Shorter hair? different clothe style?

>>30752851
Sunset has her normal style while Evening's hair goes slightly past her shoulders.
As far as clothing style goes, Evening tends to wear more blouses and pants compared to Sunset. She can wear a skirt, but it's a rare thing for her

>>30752812
True that. There may as well be a line in the OP that says "All stories must have Sunset Shimmer" or cross link to the Sunset Shimmer thread that happens to be up.

>>30752817
*cough*

>>30752901
i kinda wish we'd get away from that though

>>30753183
Sory I'm still reading through your green. I started two days ago.

Also it would be cool to have a green like you mentioned to have a different character in the spotlight. Rarity or Applejack would be pretty interesting.

>>30753525
We always need to branch out.


On an unrelated note, I finished editing the last update with a few new lines an what not. Should i post here or just in pastebin?

>>30753632
Post it here.

>>30753641
Gonna do a quick look before I post

>>30753525
>Also it would be cool to have a green like you mentioned to have a different character in the spotlight
We started out as spider-shim, so I can only offer two:
http://pastebin.com/pBpNL2kb
https://pastebin.com/gQyK64G2

>>30753525
>Sory I'm still reading through your green
and I don't have a clone, but human-dimension sunset

>>30753632
pls post, I'm looking forward to see how you did

>>30753728
I will in a moment or 2. Just don’t expect me to make huge leaps in my writing. I just corrected some things, redid others and added a bit more to it

>>30753744
as long as you don't dub it's fine with me

>>30753763
I make no promises. Anyways I'm happy with how this is now and hope everyone does as well.

“Next time you want me to do something like this, please tell me what i’m getting into,” you begged desperately, walking down the road towards your home.
>With your session with Trixie over, you decided that you should be able to have a nice leisurely walk home to clear your head.
>It was also a nice and calm night so there shouldn’t be any problems with it.
> “Sorry about that, Anon. Figured you could help her though just like us,” Vinyl replied from the other end.
“Your confidence is me is nice, but I would like to be prepared next time you do this. I hate these sink or swim situations,” you muttered, walking past a bakery and few other places you didn’t pay attention to when you noticed something.
>The street was eerily quiet with the only sound being the gentle wind and yourself.
>And Vinyl on the phone, but that doesn't count since you called her.
>Just as you passed an alleyway, something crashed onto the ground causing you to look.
>From what you saw, it was just a trash can that fell while the lid was spinning like a coin.
>Seeing that made you wonder how that happened.
> “Something wrong, Anon?” Vinyl wondered, snapping you back to reality.
“Just a trash can falling over,” you answered simply, walking away from the alleyway a little faster.
> “Maybe it was a stray dog or something,” Vinyl suggested.
“A stray would try and eat some of the garbage, Vinyl. There wasn’t a stray near the can,” you explained, feeling that everything was against you at the moment.
> “It probably got scared once the can fell over. You know how jittery animals are,” Vinyl guessed.
>Thinking about that, you had to agree with her.
>You've seen it happen plenty of times with Fluttershy and the animals she took care of.

>>30753824
>To be fair though, she did jump just as much when something fell over or surprised her.
“Guess that sounds right,” you admitted, shaking your head in an embarrassed manner.
> “Of course I'm right and don't forget it,” Vinyl joked, getting you to chuckle weakly.
>If there’s one thing you’re happy for it’s that Vinyl can ease your mind without trying.
>Octavia has a way with saying words of encouragement, but Vinyl just lets you know she has your back.
>That’s all you need sometimes.
“Thanks, Vinyl. I’m just getting a bit creeped out over here. It’s a bit too quiet over here,” you admitted, looking around as you heard some leaves rustling.
> “Afraid you’re gonna get axed off or kidnapped,” Vinyl giggled, “You never know when they'll get ya.”
“You need to stop watching those action shows. That would only happen to someone either rich or important,” you laughed, thinking it would be impossible to happen to you.
> “You're important to me and Octy,” Vinyl muttered, causing you to stop, “You’re important to Gaea and Gilda even though she won't admit it. And I'm sure Trixie will warm up to you.”
>Hearing that almost brought a tear to your eyes.
>You've heard that you were important from your parents and that made you happy.
>But hearing it from Vinyl, someone who kidnapped you and joked around, made it feel sincere.
“Thanks. I guess i feel the same towards you and the girls,” you blurted out, walking down the road when you felt something strange.
>Looking down at your feet, you saw a black thread on your foot.
“What the fuck,” you muttered, wonder
“God Dammit. Why am I always getting ,” you cursed, trying to grab the phone as you rose higher into the air.
>A few seconds later, you were dangling around for a bit, trying to see if you could break free.
>It was impossible and seeing that you were about a good forty feet in the air, you weren’t gonna take any chances.

>>30753831
>Something grabbed your shoulder and spun you around till you were face to face with whoever grabbed you.
>You couldn’t see very well, but you could just make out seven human like shapes as one leaned forward.
>When it's face was mere inches away from yours, you could see that whoever this was had a crazy jaw line and jagged teeth.
>The thing screeched at you, almost deafening you, while you tried to grab something.
“Let me down you Spider-Woman knockoff,” you snarled angrily, trying to do something to get you out of this situation.
>In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best idea to insult your kidnapper since it raised its arm.
>Seeing the fist coming your way, your world went black in an instant.


“Anon, you there? Is everything okay? Why’d you scream?” you asked, hearing your friend and possible fuck buddy went silent.
>That means you’re Vinyl Scratch aka Shocker and you can’t stop yourself from feeling worried.
>Anon screamed for a moment and the next he's not answering the phone.
>You knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't do jokes like this since he sucks at them.
> “Is everything alright, Vinyl? You seem awfully distressed,” Octavia inquired curiously from the kitchen while making some tea.
“I'm a little worried cause Anon screamed and isn’t answering me,” you yelled, covering the phone incase Anon picked up.
> “WHAT!!!!” Octavia screamed, rushing into the room causing something to shatter in the kitchen.
>You swear you could see her tendrils lashing out at almost everything in the room, knocking stuff over while one snaked around you and hoisted you into the air.
> “WHAT’S WRONG? IS HE OKAY? IS HE HURT? DID SOMEONE DO SOMETHING TO HIM?” Octavia exploded, shaking you back and forth for an answer.
“I don’t know, but I'm gonna go find him,” you confessed, feeling the room spinning.
>That answer seemed to be good enough as you fell to the floor in a crumbled heap.

>>30753837
> “Good and I'll be helping you,” Octavia retorted, pulling you up to your feet.
“What?” you yelled, fumbling a bit as Octavia grabbed you.
> “I'm gonna help you. Now let's move,” Octavia informed, snatching something from the counter, “We'll use this.”
“Your tracking device?” you inquired slowly, hoping that's what she grabbed.
> “Yes and we haven't a moment to spare,” Octavia stated seriously, snaking a tendril around you.
>She pulled you out of your home and towards wherever Anon could be.


Like i said not a huge change but i feel it's better than the first one i posted

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>TFW no Spider horse-girl that sleeps naked in weird positions.

>>30753824
>> “Sorry about that, Anon. Figured you could help her though just like us,”
needs at the very least a comma. I'd even elaborate to "just like you helped us"

>“A stray would try and eat some of the garbage, Vinyl. There wasn’t a stray near the can,”
he's should talk in present tense

>>30753831
>That’s all you need sometimes.
cute addition. that's exactly what I meant when I wanted you to add a bit of feeling

>>30753831
>“What the fuck,” you muttered, wonder
you accidentally that line

>“God Dammit. Why am I always getting ,” you cursed, trying to grab the phone as you rose higher into the air.
okay, you make it seem like he's very casual about it while simultaneously cutting him off like he was surprised and simultaneously having him reach for his phone, which he wouldn't do unless he was already being hoisted up.
(he actually lost his phone in the "before you knew it" line of the first version)

>>30753837
>>Something grabbed your shoulder and spun you around till you were face to face with whoever grabbed you.
something and whatever, or
someone and whoever
it's either an "it" or a "who"

>>30753837
>>The thing screeched at you, almost deafening you, while you tried to grab something.
grab something as a possible weapon, or to not swing around anymore?
either way, this sentence is a symptom of you trying to cram more stuff in one line than you need to. It's not exactly related, why is it one sentence?
It's a habit I share, but try to better myself in.

on another note, I believe you once took my advice to skip the word "said" too seriously.
Don't avoid it like the plague, don't force another verb to fit because sometimes they don't...
looky here:
https://youtu.be/CbB2RaAtMso?t=9m11s
I took the liberty to go into the vilainess pastebin, CTRL+F and higlight your "said"s and scroll down.
At one point they just *poof* disappear.

>>30754083
>"Oh sorry, sometimes I'm too tired to put on pajamas, but I bet you don't mind the view."

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>>30754083
It should be upside down.

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>>30754209
this pleases the writefag

>>30754209
"How the hell did you get the bed on the ceiling?"
>"I dunno."

>>30754225
uhhh... spider powers and loctite

>>30754138
Was it at least better than the first attempt?

>>30754258
oh yeah, definitely

>>30754209
>>30754225
>When Anon wakes up he panics and almost falls to the floor not before web catches.
>"Morning, I bet that woke you up more than coffee." Sunset says while giggling.

>>30754264
Thanks. I'm not trying to avoid the word "said" it's just that when I'm writing now, it doesn't feel like it fits at times.

Anyways I'm gonna make the corrections tomorrow and start the next update then.

And I'm ending the vote today.

>>30754288
>And I'm ending the vote today.

I must confess that I cheated and voted a second time on my phone

>>30754337
The votes haven't done anything forva few days so at the end of the night I'll dnd it

>>30753843
So, quick question, and not mad about it, but when did Octi place a tracker on Anon?

>>30754366
she's octi
I'm totally not surprised about that

>>30754366
Yes she did but not on Anon himself. More like an object or 2 of Anon’s

>>30754372
Oh I know, she loves her little sugar doctor to death, and she loves that she can share him with Vinyl, my question is when. Did she do when they were in the cuddle pile at Anon's?
>>30754379
Oh, that makes more sense then, thought she had him chipped, cant wait to see what happens when the three of them start a family. She might go crazy soccer mom on them one moment, while Vinyl calms her tits, then best baker mom the next with chocolate chip cookies. She may or may not have stole them on her way home from work though from Sugar Cube Corner. Though at that point I cant tell if its stealing whenever Anon comes around to pay for them. What would the Cakes say about their antics I wonder?

>>30754401
She has a few things of Vinyl’s chipped as well. And the Cakes would just laugh, but Pinkie would hold a grudge against her.

>>30754428
Sounds about right, Pinkie might be mad but I am sure Anon has a few cupcakes made for her so she calms down. Like Rolf always said, apology cupcakes are an excellent gift.
And Vinyl is....Vinyl, even if she didn't love her she would probably do it for her own safety on party nights anyways. Still don't know when she did it though.

>>30754442
Octavia and Vinyl knew each other for a few weeks or just over a month. She basically chipped his stuff when he was in another room.

>>30754472
>pretenting she doesn't chip anyone immediately after she decided to get to know them

>>30754516
What? You never did that?

>>30754870
>Implying I haven't stalked them before meeting them the first time

>>30754911
>Implying you don't continue to stalk them to this day.

>Sunset and Anon has to team up with Nicolas Cage Ghost Rider what happens?

>>30756327

>>30756552
I hope they get weirded out by the guy and not from him being ghost rider

>>30756552
>>30757866
>"Did I ever tell you about the bees Anon?"

>>30758116
>Both Anon and Sunset shudder in instinctual fear.

>>30758526
>The Ghost Rider in him tries to have a kek with him
>Makes flaming bumble bees out of his hellfire
>They go buzz buzz boom
>The bees have no distinction between friend and foe.

>>30758549
>Anon and Sunset run for cover as hundreds of bees start exploding like mini hand grenades while Cage yells "Killing me won't bring back your god damn honey!"

>>30758580
>Not having hundreds flaming bumble bees come out of his arms while yelling fuck like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ve88BGz0nPc

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I love short hair shimmer. So cute.

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what kind of hero would a femanon be?
I dunno, but I want her to look like pic related

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>>30759704
always depends on the image

>>30759716
>Innocent
>Gains access to 4chan
>Has shapeshifting ability on top of mind tricks
>Becomes the kinkiest superhero ever

>>30759704
>>30759731
Does anyone have the green where Sunset cuts her hair shorter so her head fits in her mask?
It was pretty comfy.

>>30759757
Keaton wrote it

>9
hail hydra

>>30761933
Dubs confirm, we National Socialist now.

>>30761946
Excuse me?
Hydra is much older than national socialism!
they date back to like... 2500 BC.

>>30761988
It's just a joke.

>>30762024
It's like you don't even hail hydra at all

>>30761988
Dubs confirm, we bronze age National Socialistsecurity now.

>>30761988
I doubt that

>>30763019
name timeline:
third egyptian dynasty as the Brotherhood of the Spear
Order of the Hydra
Cathari
Ariosophist
Wotanists
Black Order
Sons of Anubis
Seven Kings
Green and the Red Societies
Thule Society
Hydra

>>30763047
This shows that I don't read much of the comics. Also is all of this real? one or 2 seem fake to me

>>30763073
most of them were made up in the same comic

>>30763089
ok. That Green and The Red Societies, Seven Kings and the Wontanists just sound like joke names to me.

>>30763232
hate to break it to you, but all that happens in the comics is made up

>>30763244
I know that. Those three names just sound very made up like they were fishing the bottom of the barrel

>>30763436
>names sunset's clone evening

>>30763469
Fair point

>>30763469
Oh snap.

>>30763486
why are you namefagging right now anyway?

>>30763566
Not gonna hide who I am and let another Untitled thing happen

>>30763571
>Untitled thing
what?
your name has had no relevance to the conversation

>>30763588
I'm a bit paranoid

>>30763566
I don't see the problem, all the writefags here do it.

page 8

>>30752256
>You reach for the gun you have neatly on display on a metal plate on top of your desk.
>Fleetfoot was faster, of course, even if she had to cross the room first.
>Bad move on her part.
>She should have hit you, or at least flicked your hand away.
>Fortunately for you, she’s good-natured and only wants you to not become a threat... by going for your gun as well.
>Fleetfoot cries out in pain as soon as she makes contact with the metallic weapon.
>She closes a circuit with her body and is exposed to 400 Volts of alternating current.
>You have to pick up momentum for yourself though and not revel in this first small victory.
>The outcry causes the door to your office to burst open again, and armed agents to cautiously peek in.
>Good.
>Had they immediately entered, you wouldn’t have had the opportunity to flip your desk over for cover.
>Gosh, this thing is heavy.
>Having one arm in cast really decreases your chance of survival.
>But solid oak of that thickness at least slows a bullet down plenty.
>You quickly change your wrist mounted utility computer to assault mode and charge a tiny rocket.
>People rush into your room, “It’s over, traitor, we know all about your activities.”
>Traitor?
“Name calling? That’s not nice, Rumlow.”
>One of your windows is tilted, a small explosive should be able to weaken it enough to unhinge it.
>You need to stall for time as the explosive gets weapon ready.
“Fleetfoot here got an electric shock, if she ain’t dead she needs a hospital, sorry ‘bout that.”
>“As if you care about one death more or less on your head.”
>The footsteps get closer, and you throw a paperweight over your desk.
>In response they immediately dodge for cover. “Grenade!”
>Right on cue, you aim your arm up and shoot the window.
>You were able to close your eyes, but both of your hands were occupied and you weren’t able to cover your ears.
>There’s no time to lose.

>>30764316
>The smoke doesn’t need to clear for you to know your way around your office.
>Everyone else does so as to not shoot their own allies.
>You jump up on a file cabinet, kicking one of the memorabilia your PR-guy told you make you more human and approachable, and brace yourself against the ceiling.
>You kick onto the damaged window frame.
>Once.
>Twice.
>A volley rips through the air.
>One bullets connecting with your side.
>You flinch in pain, but you know you were hit to low to probably even break a rib.
>You can still kick the window, so you are doing that.
>When it gives in, you almost lose your footing.
>Just as you try to balance yourself, they shoot you again.
>A volley all over your back.
>You let yourself fall out of the window, landing ungracefully on one of the beams holding up the Wonderbolt’s logo.
>Any air has been successfully knocked out of your lungs.
>You’re gonna feel that tomorrow...
>Even while you’re catching your breath again you don’t waste the time.
>Wire...
>You quickly attach it to the beam and let yourself fall once more
>There’s only 50 feet in the utility computer on your wrist, that’s not gonna be enou-
>You look upwards to see if they try and follow you.
>Rumlow’s aiming down to you but he’s not shooting.
>The entrance hall is below you after all, and civilians could easily be hit.
>For a moment this puts your mind at ease, at least a little bit, but then he jumps out to the logo as well and going for the wire.
>Asshole.
>Freefall? How much more do you have? A couple stories until you hit the roof of the entrance hall?
>You let yourself down a little faster until the cord finally snaps.
>Plasma shield.
>You try to spin around mid-air and curl together to hide behind the shield you created.
>When Spider-Woman sparred with you at the camp you got away with only micro-fractures.
>You land on the glass roof of the entrance hall with the grace of a potato sack.
>Ouch.

>>30764325
>The pain in your arm now takes the edge of the pain in your back.
>You can’t slow down... you need to move.
>You lift your right hand, seeing it shaking before you, as you try and get up, yet the next problem becomes very apparent.
>The glass underneath you is cracking.
“Shit”, you barely hear your own curse from the ringing in your ears.
>Hearing is a small price to pay right now, you have worse ailments...
>And to make sure they don’t go lethal...
>You leap forward to the edge of the glass panel.
>That jump was the last bit of force needed to break it, but you’re glad it was at least in your control.
>You barely manage to grab a hold.
>And one of your arms is almost useless now.
>You’re feet are tangling down and you’re slipping.
>You have to go down anyway...
>It’s ‘only’ three stories high.
>You slowly let yourself slide off further.
>Glass shards... gotta keep those away from your throat...
>It scrapes over your good arm, slicing up your uniform, only leaving the protective fiber underneath.
>Until you only hang off from only your hand.
>The glass slices into your palm before you can let go.
>That’s bad. Full functionality of your right hand would have been more important than making sure you’re falling a few inches less.
>You had been able to let go on your own account so it was rather easy to twist around and once more let the shield absorb most of the shock.
>Breate, Spits, you’re close.
>Just breathe...
>You open your eyes to observe the damage.
>The cast on your left arm was almost completely destroyed, only holding together by the cloth it’s wrapped in.
>Blood was almost flowing out.
>Those bones are shattered.
>You know it.
>But you’re alive... for now.
>You barely recognize the world around you.
>Everything shrunk down to you.
>The pain.
>The glow of blood.
>Your heartbeat.
>Your jittery hand as you with which you wipe away shards of glass.
>There were people around you.

>>30764333
>If you could focus right now you might even believe that some were worried and want to help.
>But you can’t trust anyone right now.
>You need to get to your grandfathers statue.
>Monuments to heroes of World War Two.
>If you see an injustice you need to step up, especially if you’re the only one who can.
>Just... stand up...
>Literally.
>With every beat of your heart...
>Never mind the fact that with every pump that organ sends more of your precious life out of you.
>It also sends it to your legs as well...
>Where you need it.
>With every beat of your heart you manage to rise further.
>With every beat of your heart you manage to take another step.
>With every beat of your heart you get closer to... just another step of your plan.
>People around you...
>They try to support you in walking.
>They try to talk to you.
>You wouldn’t listen, even if you could hear right now.
>It’s invaluable.
>Whether they are on your side or not they’d want you to stop.
>To get help, or to be detained... or to be killed.
>But you can’t be killed in such an public place... can you?
>...
>Once at your destination you reach into your back pocket.
>A pair of brass knuckles... or that’s how they appear, at least.
>You can feel them getting excited as they come into contact with your blood.
>Good...
>You slip into one, let it tap onto your soul, and then move much differently.
>The artifact takes command of you for only a fraction of a second while your mind goes blank.
>When you come to again you’re kneeling in front of the statue with it’s marble base busted open.
>You whisper a small ‘thank you’ as you lean down further and take out your getaway stache.

>>30764340

>First... adrenaline syringe.
>Then, local anesthetic to your left hand.
>You should probably do it at your elbow, but you don’t want to be numb too far up.
>Next... tie off that arm so you don’t lose much more blood.
>Only then do you take the time to look around.
>The entrance hall is usually mostly empty, especially at this hour of the day.
>Yet still, everyone was here to stare at you.
>No guns were pointed at you though, so at least none of them were against you.
>Their mouths are moving.
>They are looking directly at you.
>But they are probably too scared right now to approach you anymore.
>You don’t hold it against them.
>You just crashed through the roof, you’re bloody, you busted open a monument, and you crammed two syringes into you right now.
>One does not see that every day.
>You wish that anesthetic would work faster.
>Can you wait it out?
>The light turns red, industrial shutters begin to seal off the doors and windows, and even you can hear the siren.
>Nope... you can’t wait it out.
>You reach for the techwear and sling it over your back, a painful reminder that you had been shot multiple times... how long ago exactly?
>It adjusts itself to the form of your back and shoulders, wrapping itself around your torso automatically.
>It’s not exactly your full suit, but the wings alone will have to do the job.
>Using the propulsion you lift yourself up from the ground and begin to run to the nearest window.
>You pick up your left arm and bite your thumb, keeping it up so the shield would protect you once more.
>You never turned it off and it’s already threatening to fizzle out, but if luck’s on your side you won’t have to take the window with your face.
>After only a few steps you’re able to take off into the air.
>Channeling your soul into the brass knuckle on your right hand once more you burst through the window with ease, well before the shutters were able to close the building off.

>>30764343
>When you come back to the Wonderbolts you need to install a faster lockdown...

charlimit...
y u no let me post last line?

>>30764353
>y u no let me post last line?
Because it hates you.

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>>30764353
>mfw Untitled updates.
But seriously, it's a good update, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

>>30764353
It likes mocking us?

>>30764340
>getaway stache
apparently all Spitfire needs is a proper disguise

>>30767405
exactly

about the update:
does anything feel deus-ex-y?
We knew about her wrist mounted techwear to house the shield and the rockets (even though the only time they appeared were when they were disarmed by treehugger)
and we knew Spitfire had something to trigger sunset's spidey-sense (brass knuckles)

the wire was new
electric shock gun trap was new

her wearing something bullet proof at all times should be quite plausible
and her having hidden some stuff for a getaway should also be plausible

>>30768143
Seems fine to me