Derpy thread - Good friends edition

Previously: https://pastebin.com/5vW1F0UP
Continued from line 962:

>Despite that, the overall impression you get from her retellings is quite positive.
>It's clear that she enjoys her work, even when according to Skydancer she's not doing a very good job.

>You're not sure if she's aware of it, but every time Derpy gets to put a letter into a mailbox she has this overly happy smile on her face, like it's the greatest thing in the world.
>The only thing even greater to her seems to be when one of the ponies comes out of their house and Derpy gets to give them their mail personally.
>When the ponies thank her for the delivery, even if it's just a small matter out of obligation, it seems to be the absolute highlight of Derpy's day.

>Seeing how diligently she does her job, you have asked Derpy about the lost mail and she said that she sometimes loses a few letters or packages when she falls down.
>Apparently the mail spills from her saddlebags and when she then picks it up again some of it is missing.

>However, so far nothing even close to that has been happening during her delivery;
>Derpy has been very careful with the mail, making sure that she closes her saddlebags properly every time she has to open them.

>Unless there's something wrong with the saddlebags you don't see why the mail would be spilling out of them if Derpy were to fall down, which also hasn't been happening so far.
>You could kind of see it happening earlier when she was in a hurry to get to work, but right now she doesn't seem like she's at a greater risk of getting into an accident than any other pony.
>Sure, she's a little clumsy, but she more than makes up for it by being extra careful with anything she does.

>>30647110
Who is she again, I think I've seen her but don't remember her what's her role again?

>>30647121
>You suppose if nothing goes wrong and Derpy doesn't lose any more mail that's good too, but you'd really like to get to the bottom of this.
>When Derpy gets to the next house and opens her saddlebag though, she suddenly stops what she's doing at looks at you with a big smile.

>"Look, Anon", she says with an excited flutter of her wings, "my friends are coming."

>Her friends?

>You turn around and spot a group of colts, galloping towards the two of you at full speed.

>Ah, so she wasn't actually looking at you;
>It's a little hard to tell with her eyes.

>You didn't know that Derpy is friends with a group of colts, but then again you've only met her yesterday.

>The colts soon reach Derpy and you, gathering around the former in a tight group.

>They're being obnoxiously loud, though that can probably be expected.
>Annoying children are still annoying children even if they're magical horses.
>Though you're not overly fond of this kind of company, Derpy seems to be seeing things more positively.

>In fact, she seems to be quite happy standing right at the center of the group, her wings unfolded from her excitement.
>Occasionally one of the colts bumps into her wings, though Derpy doesn't seem to mind.
>Rather, she seems to be enjoying the contact, deliberately moving her wings so that they brush against the colts as much as possible.

>You're sure that if not for her disability, Derpy would make a great mother.

>However, as he's circling Derpy, one of the colts suddenly takes a sharp turn, slamming into Derpy's side at full force.
>The sudden, unexpected hit throws her off balance and after a brief second where she futilely flaps her wings in an attempt to stay upright, Derpy falls to the ground.
>With her mail bag still open from before there is nothing to stop it from spilling its contents all over the streets of Ponyville, forming a small pile next to Derpy's fallen form.

>>30647129
>Immediately there is a shift in the colts' movement;
>Previously their attention seemed to have been on Derpy, but not a second after she fell down they are already descending upon the small pile of mail next to her, picking up single letters and packages with their mouths.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing!?", you yell at the top of your lungs as your veins are flooded with red hot anger.

>The colts freeze at your yelling, and when they see your hulking form moving towards them, they quickly drop whatever they're holding and flee.
>One of the colts, however, doesn't drop the package he has stolen, instead trying to get away with it.

"Give that back, you little shit!", you yell as you run after him, quickly catching up thanks to your much longer legs.

>Apparently the colt seems to be realizing his predicament, and quickly flicks his head, throwing the package at your chest.
>Instinctively you stop and try to catch it with your hands, almost tripping from the sudden change in movement and giving the colt a head start.
>When you realize what has happened the colt has already run out of sight and into a nearby alleyway.

>There's no way you're gonna catch him now.

>You forcibly take a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself.

>Even if you did catch that colt, there is no point to it now.
>He abandoned the package and beating up children is probably not a good idea even if they're little assholes.
>Also, more importantly, you turn towards Derpy who is still lying on the ground.

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>>30647110
She's a good horse.

>>30647135
>She's groaning in pain, apparently still disoriented from the fall.
>You help her get up and find that apart from a bruise on her leg, Derpy luckily seems to be fine.
>When she sees the mail still lying on the ground next to her, her eyes go wide with panic and she scrambles to put it back into her bag.

>You hand her the package that that colt tried to steal earlier, and as soon as Derpy has collected all of the mail she starts counting it, lowly murmuring the numbers as she goes along.
>As you watch her you get a very bad suspicion as to how Derpy normally tends to 'lose' her mail.

>Once she is done counting Derpy closes the bag with a relieved sigh.

>"I didn't lose any mail this time."

>This time.

>Derpy seems to notice your rather somber mood and looks at you in confusion.

>"What's wrong?", she asks.

"Derpy", you say slowly and carefully, "I don't think you've been losing the mail."
"I think someone has been stealing it."

This is all for today.

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>>30647110
Reminder: That isn't her name.

>>30647151
Muffins is her official trademarked name yes, but in interviews and commentaries even the crew still call her Derpy, and even Hasbro tries to imply she doesn't have a "normal" name by using a picture of a muffin in place of the text that usually is the pony's name, on almost all packaging (except the one you posted and a few others)

Have some green.

>Yeah, that's you, napping under a tree.
>A rare moment of quiet, a rare moment to enjoy the unspoiled natural beauty this strange world has to offer.
>And then a horse lands on you.
>Okay, a pony. You probably wouldn't have survived an actual horse landing atop you like this.
>These are the thoughts that clutter your head as you fight your way to consciousness to make a damage assessment following the impact.
"Goddammit, fucking Fluttersh..."
>No, it's not her.
>The gray mare's butt is pinning your left shoulder to the ground.
>Fluttershy is yellow, and you suspect she would have had better aim.
>A pair of gray wings settle themselves and fold, as a honey-colored tail swats you in the face.
>"Oh my Celestia, I'm so sorry...a-are you okay?"
>Well that's just peachy.
>That's all your day needed.
>Another pegasus, self-styled would-be rapist.
>At least you don't seem to be damaged, just winded.
"Is this just a thing for you Pegasusses...Pegasi... DAMMIT, what is the plural for 'Pegasus' anyhow?"
>"Um, it's 'Pegai'. Yes, It happens to all of us from time-to-time."
>So that's almost a third of Equestria out to rape you then. Fantastic.
>Her butt squirms close to your face, giving you an up-close-and-personal view of her backside.
>"Um, I don't want to hurt you, so if you could just help me out..."
>So. It's going to be like THAT, is it.
>And she has you pinned to the ground.
"If I give you what you want, will you go away?"
>"Of course! I'm so terribly sorry about this."
>FINE. You win this round.
>You grab a hold of her soft, squishy butt with your hands and line her up properly.
>"Eep! What are youuuu-doooooohhhhh"
>Her voice trails off into a moan as it becomes immediately apparent what you are doing.
>She doesn't taste like Fluttershy. She's actually more floral, in a pleasant sort of way.
>A pony who works outdoors mostly, instead of indoors with a bunch of animals.
>"Mmmnnnnhhhh..."

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>>30647899

>You feel her forelegs clutch onto your thigh as she trembles atop you.
>She shoves her muzzle into your crotch a bit to stifle her moans.
>That vibration proves arousing to you as well and you respond, licking and teasing her just so.
>She'd better appreciate this.
>Suddenly she tightens her hold on your thigh and practically screams into your crotch.
>As she does, a gush of warm fluids washes over your chin and neck.
>Mission accomplished, you do your best to wipe yourself off, as the gray pegasus goes limp from the afterglow.
>"Omigosh, I'm late!"
>In a bit of a scramble of wings and hooves, the gray pegasus mare manages to disentangle herself and get off of you, only slightly bruising you in the process.
>She alights and turns to face you, blushing, and takes one of your hands between her fore hooves.
>"Umm, thank you, I suppose, I really wasn't expecting that when I fell on you."
"What?"
>"I was napping in the tree you see, and I fell out. It happens from time-to-time, but I really can't resist a good nap in a tree."
"Huh? So that wasn't..."
>You manage to feel somewhat foolish.
>"Thank you for not being angry, and for...well... that."
>She raises her eyes to meet yours, smiling bashfully.
>"Maybe we can... meet again sometime? If you want?"
>What have you done?
>She moves her muzzle closer to your face and whispers...
>"Next time I promise I'll return the favor."
>With that she plants a sincere kiss on your cheek, and backs a few steps away from you.
>"I have to go now, but I'll look for you again!"
>And with a flurry of powerful wingbeats, she is away.
>You watch her go.
>So that wasn't a rape attempt.
>That was a genuine accident.
>And you just made it incredibly awkward.
>And yet, you have to confess.
>There is a part of you that looks forward to the next time you meet this mystery mare.
"Dammit, now I need a shower."

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ayyyyy there you are.

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It's Daapi time!

>>30647151
Who?

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>>30647899
>it's a flutterrape green
Don't post here ever again. And by "here", I mean the entire board outside your containment thread.

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>>30648872
You can't stop me, faggot.

>>30648872

Oh look, I posted another one, just to piss you off.

>Yep, it's you in Equestria again.
>And you know what's gonna happen, right?
>Knock-knock-knock...
>Uh-huh. Right on cue.
>Setting down your coffee, you schlep on over to your front door to see what the fetish guess of the day is.
>You open the door, and lo and behold, there is Fluttershy.
>Of course.
>At least, you expect it's her.
>It's hard to tell, because she's wearing a gorilla suit.
>So you're basically looking at a pony-sized gorilla with flowing pink tresses and a matching tail.
>This shit's all kinds of messed up.
>"Um, ooga-booga?"
"The fuck is this even supposed to be?"
>"Oh, well-um, I thought you might be more attracted to me if I looked closer to your species."
>She turns in place and wiggles her butt at you.
>"Is it working?"
"Not really. In fact, it seems kinda racist."
>Fluttershy is, as usual, crestfallen.
>"Oh."
"Where in Ponyville did you even find a gorilla suit anyhow?"
>"Oh, I mail-ordered it. I actually asked for a human suit, but they didn't know what a human was. This is the closest thing they had."
>An awkward silence descends between you.
>"So...ummm..."
"I'm gonna go finish my breakfast now."
>"Oh, alright. Same time tomorrow then?"
>You sigh.
"If you must."
>"A-alright. See you then!"
>You slam the door and bolt it.
>This shit is just going on too long now if that's the best guess she can some up with on a Friday.

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ah fuck yeah cunt

>>30647142
I had to go back and reread a bit. And going from Skydancer right into to those damn colts is fucking infuriating.

>>30648872
>Hating Flutterrape
Literally the purest form of greentext. It is to greentext what Orthodox Christianity is to Christendom.
:^)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnIAaprIkj0

>>30648872
Your resistance only makes my penis harder.

>>30647142
>"S-stealing it?", Derpy asks, audibly shocked by the suggestion, "Are you sure?"

>"Yes, I'm sure", you say, suppressing a sigh at her cluelessness, "I saw it happen, or rather, almost happen."

>In retrospect, maybe you shouldn't have immediately told her about it.
>Derpy seems to think those colts are her friends so you don't think telling her the truth will go over very well.

>"Who...?", Derpy asks without finishing the sentence, but you fully understand what it is that she wants to know.

>There is no turning back now.

"Those colts that you've called your friends, they're the ones who did it."

>After taking a second to understand what it is that you're saying, Derpy gives you a doubtful look.

>"They wouldn't do that", she says with furrowed brows, "Stealing is really mean and they're my friends."

"They're not your friends", you reply, "They're the ones that made you fall down because they wanted to steal your mail."

>"But they didn't do it on purpose!"
>"They're always apologizing to me and they say that they didn't mean to do it and that they're just stupid retards and that they can't help it."
>"And then they always help me look for the mail and they always have really good ideas where it could be."
>"And one of them said he's really glad that I'm friends with him because he's a retard and retards never have any friends."

>>30647907
Moar

>>30654460
Anon needs to find out if there's such a thing as pepper spray in equestria.

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Im gonna bump the shit out of this thread.

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Bump

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>the pale horse.

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https://pastebin.com/VidNEtJ3 (humanized, smut, bj)

>>30663335
>humanized
mmmmNO.

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blonde pone is best pone.

b

u

>>30670236
m

p

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>>30647110

>>30666619
>Not cross-eyed
Delet this

>>30672195
>caring whether or not she's cross-eyed
delet yourself.

>>30654460
>Derpy's tone of voice is becoming increasingly aggressive.

>How can she be so fucking dense?
>She's literally been pushed around by those colts without realizing it and now she thinks you're the bad guy.

"Those colts are not your friends", you repeat, trying not to let your frustration slip into your voice, "Have you ever lost your mail when you didn't run into them?"

>You're taking guesses here but you don't think you're wrong.

>"No, but-"

"And when they told you where to look for the mail, did you ever find anything?"

>"No, but I-"

"So who else could it possibly be?"

>"I don't know", Derpy stammers, near tears.

>The sight makes you realize that she's not your opponent, but the victim.
>You kneel down to her level and look into her eyes with all the sincerity you can muster.

"Listen", you say as you put a hand onto her shoulder, "I want to help you."
"There are bad ponies that hurt you and steal your mail and you don't even know about it and that makes me feel sad."
"And I need to tell you about it because I don't want you to get hurt anymore."

>"But-", Derpy stutters desperately, "But they said that we're friends."

>You suppress a sigh.

"I know, but when they said that they've been lying to you."
"They just told you they're your friends so you wouldn't find out that they've actually been stealing your mail."
"Think about it, would a really mean pony that steals your mail not also be mean enough to lie to you?"

>Derpy stares off into the distance for a short while and you get the feeling that she really does think about what you've just told her.
>Eventually she looks back at you with tear-filled eyes.

>"Are you sure?"

>You've never heard someone sounding more uncertain in your entire life.

"Yes, I'm sure."

>At you confirmation Derpy squeezes her eyes shut tightly, causing the tears to flow freely now.

>"Why?", she asks, "I never did anything mean to them."

"I know", you gently whisper to her as you pull her into a hug.

>>30675235
Poor girl. I never want to see such a good pony get hurt like that. She's too sweet for such deception.

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>>30675235
It's good for her to know how the world works. But we must protect the smile.

inb4
>rape

>>30647110
Rape.

>>30654460
>"And one of them said he's really glad that I'm friends with him because he's a retard and retards never have any friends."

FUCK. HE'S ACTUALLY CALLING HER RETARDED. I WANNA KILL HIM.

I've read maybe two or three posts of this green total, but I'm already really fucking invested in it. Good job.

Kinda like the SciAnon green from the "Alone in Equestria" thread a while back I guess. Righteous anger and outrage really draw me in.

>>30685872
What does the weeks in the corner indicate?

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mmm, muffins

>>30685650
My heart

>>30684244
>"And one of them said he's really glad that I'm friends with him because he's a retard and retards never have any friends."

kind sir he was saying he was a retard.

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>>30693495

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>Eeeep!
>[blows bubble pipe]
>We just don't know what happened!

>>30685957
im guessing weeks left to live or weeks till you get booted from Equestria, whichever hurts less.

>>30684244
Got a link to that? Righteous fury is always good.

Muffins is for comfy snuggles

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>>30698538
This

https://youtu.be/oA1vp8p_V3Y

Unfortunately since I learned that Derpy got 2 voice actors, I can't figure out which to attribute to her.

Does she have the retard voice or the cutie voice? Both fit her character.

>>30701978
I think the cute one since the first one could be explained as she had a cold.

>>30701978
Tabitha with the New Jersey accent is better

>>30706788
poor derpy

bu

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>>30711219
Cute poners and pizza are a match made in heaven.

>>30713232

>tomatoes and poners

More triggering than anything else.

>>30714796
magic poners anon

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>>30714907

>>30715134
Cute!

>>30716539

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>>30701978
I didn't like SoL as an episode, but her voice in it was nice. Ditzy without being tard-like.

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>>30698731
God that pose is so cute, why are pegasi so perfect.

>>30711219
>>30713232
Amen.