What would it take for you to assassinate Flurry heart ?

>>30640447
A half-eaten lunchable and a backhanded compliment

>>30640447
In this scenario Equestria characters are real.

So I would figure out the mechanism that allows a children's TV show to be a part of my reality.

Probably by asking the person hiring me more information.

I would then fake the assassination attempt, turn them in, and live out my days fucking my waifu.

>>30640447
A Klondike bar.

>>30640447
A sniper rifle and a single bullet.

>>30640447
The security that I would get away with it legally and that nopony would think any less of me or hold any grudge if they found out I did it.

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>>30640489
I'm with you buddy.

>>30640447

A good reason.

Say, if she's going to grow up and become a tyrant or 'you'll provide for my family for the rest of my days'.

>>30640489
Please tell me your waifu is not Flurry Heart.

>>30640447
Can I keep the horn?

>>30642036
I don't see why not

>>30642121
Every assassin keeps a trophy of their kills.

>>30640447
A weapon capable of killing her.

>>30640447
I love Cadance too much to ever do it.
Unless Cadance was the one that asked me to.

>"I just can't stand it, Anon. I miss being able to spend time with the ponies in the city, spreading love, like I used to. I just meant to give Shining pity sex, and he swore he would pull out, but then he-!"
>"I knew I was pregnant almost right away. I didn't really like Shining, but I'm a princess, what would ponies think if their princess was a single mother?"
>"So I married him, and now all my time is spent taking care of the baby, or taking care of Shining, because he barely acts like an adult himself, when I shoul dbe taking care of my citizens! They're both so needy and frustrating, and I'm so tired, and so unhappy, but there's nothing I could do!"
>"Sometimes I think about doing the most awful things, just to break out of this nightmare I've ended up in. But I could never bring myself to do... what I would have to do. I'm just so tired..."
>Several nights later, Anon is imprisoned for smothering Princess FlurryHeart in her sleep.
>Ponies rarely even consider execution, but there's talk of it. Princess Cadance gives a speech that she won't perpetuate a horrible cycle by responding to one murder with another, and instead rules only to exile Anon from the Crystal Empire.
>A few weeks later, Cadance and Shining Armor divorce, supposedly over her blaming him for not protecting their daughter.
>Cadance takes a bereavement journey for several weeks, far from home.
>Anon stumbles upon her in a town on the edges of Equestria, helping ponies find love, like she used to, and smiling happily.
>His eyes meet hers, and she looks surprised, then gives a bittersweet smile, too guilty to thank him, but too honest to lie that she regrets what he did.
>They nod at one another, then continue on their ways.
>Then they met up that night and sex happened (she made sure he jizzed in her butt this time, though).

>>30640447
Guess it really depends what I have access to in the way of potions and poisons compared with Terran medical supplies. I would want to find a kindness. Would also prefer a reason why it needed doing.

>>30640447
You'd have to pay me not to.

>>30643382
Are you kidding?
I would swing her head against a wall.

>>30640447
kys OP. She's not that bad.

>>30640447
Shit you know how easy it is to kill this little shit I'll do it for free.

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>>30640447
Buddy I want to marry her

>>30640447
matches, nails and a piece of metal pipe.
Unless alicorns are somehow immune to explosions and shrapnell