RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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>>30601217
I want my own cute and dorkily clumsy mare to take care of.

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Reposting thing for new bread.
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/343681/rgre-slut-pirate-anon

>You turn as you hear the distinct sound of four little hoofsies clatter on the deck behind you. Purple drank is fluffing out her tuft as hard as she can to appear alpha, the strain visible on her face.
>“This isn’t over Anon! It’s not safe out here-!”
>You shush her by smooshing your finger against her lips, then wandering up and your whole palm onto her snootle. Her straining tuft retracts like an automatic umbrella, snapping shut. Sea Shell looks at her with concern, her naturally fluffy blonde Pegasus tuft easily overshadowing Twilight’s meager display. This only irritates her more. You speak to defuse the tension.
“You’re right purple smart, it isn’t safe.”
>“Well, I am a big mare, that’s why-“
“For you.”

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>>30601366
>With that, you pick up the purple autist and gently toss her off the good ship CFS Why So Sirius. She lands with a squeak back on Blue Bean’s battered ship, her landing cushioned by her larger than the average unicorn’s flank. You quickly haul in the main sheet tight to the wind, letting the jib catch the salty breeze as you turn the helm north east. Twilight’s angry purple and red face gets smaller and smaller until with a loud frustrated groan she teleports away.
>Be inside Agent Sweetie Drops. For expository reasons, and not for the sexy time. This is bad. You know that look. Celestia's protégé wasn’t done. There was no quit in that mare, you didn’t get to be her personal student without teats of steel. This wasn’t over. Not by a long shot. You stood by your stallion and rubbed your hoof against his firm, sexy, slutty ass as a sign of support. The fact that he didn’t complain only proved what a degenerate slut he was. If you knew Twilight, you’d bet your non serial numbered silenced short stroke cross bow that she was out preparing to escalate things further. You absentmindedly slapped his ass for good measure. The slut.
>You suddenly eep as Anon scoops you up in his spider hooves, throwing you and Shelly easily over his shoulder. You are stuck staring at his sexy slut ass in high too tight pants, hoofsies bouncing. Lyra trots behind you happily as you all head into the Captain’s cabin. Anon seems unconcerned leaving the helm unattended.
>Be Celestia. Your stallion sense is tingling. Somewhere there was a stallion being excessively lewd. You wiggle your bountiful flank to rub the excess moisture against your throne cushion as Raven calls in the next supplicant. Suddenly a wild Twilight appears! She teleports directly into the throne room, which would normally be impossible.

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>>30601378
For maximum pleasure read Celestia's lines using the Mentally Abridged voice.

>”Princess! I’m sorry to use your backdoor without asking permission, but it’s an emergency! Anon took off on a ship and I tried to get him back but he cuddled the pirate and took off north!”
>The plump purple pony princess looks the worse for wear. Splotches of white are everywhere and her mane was a mess. Her feathers were in dire need of a preening too. Her heavy mouth breathing only accentuated her mousiness.
”So… Operation S.H.E.A.T.H. was a failure…”
>*Strategically HEarding Anon To Her* A top secret black op designed to find the perma virgin Twilight Sparkle a horsebando, even if they had to snatch one from another dimension. Unfortunately, a double agent burned the files and the subject vanished. The trail didn’t pick up again until you received Twilight’s strange letter about an alluring monkey stallion thing round house kicking a Bug Bear in half and how it made her special face feel funny.
>“What was that Princess?”
“Nothing, my most faithful student.”
>This would not do. It was problematic having a Princess of Friendship unable to get a colt friend.
“Twilight. You must rescue this poor wayward stallion from his equally poor judgement. I give you leave to use the flagship of the Equestrian Royal Navy, the Dawn.”
>Twilight gasped. It would not be an understatement to say the Dawn was like a daughter to you, the one you could never have. Beautiful, fast, and capable of subjugating even the whimsiest of colts. You smiled. Just like her momma.
>”Princess, thats-“
“No ifs ands or buts Twilight. You take the Dawn and go save your wayward stallion.”
>”Bu-bu-uuuut he’s not m-m-my stallion…”
>She quivers into a nonsensical mess. You sigh and teleport her away before anyone else sees here like this. You grumble to yourself.
“Should have stuck with Sunset…”
3/3

Slow day huh?

>>30601524
the day just started

>>30601217
damn i wish i was a decent writer.

>>30601549
Me too, Anon.
Me too.
Any Ideas?

>>30601567
anon... but, he's a bear.

>>30601217
SPANKINGS

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>>30601595

>>30601604
would you spank your waifu

i would

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>>30601604
>Amoeba is still dead.

END MY SUFFERING

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>>30601217
You know what's cool?

Fucking scared scary bugs.

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>>30601709
FUCK
THE
BUG

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>>30601641
Reminds me of this

>>30601641
>>30601722
>tfw this is posted on /tg/ so often it has its own brand of Reeee'rs

>>30601722
Anyone got the one with the gnome rogue and the succubus?

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>>30601716
>You will never be surrounded by your hundreds of foals
>Your colts will never say that they want to be just like you when they grow up
>Your fillies will never proclaim that they'll grow up to be big and strong so that they can protect you
>When the mane 6 inevitably come and try to "rescue" you, Chrysalis will never deliberately put herself between you and them

>>30599267
This is good thread.

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>>30601773
>reforming through foal bearing
>you will never
Why is it so heart wrenching anon

>>30601773
>>When the mane 6 inevitably come and try to "rescue" you, Chrysalis will never deliberately put herself between you and them
I mean, wouldn't have she done that anyway had she kidnapped you to stop you from running away?

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>>30601716
>tfw bug horses have no incest taboo

>>30601646
>not letting your waifu spank you

>>30601801
you know who else doesn't have one, or at least has to get over it for a few generations? moonponies.

>>30601788
>"I have a husband and kids to think about now."

>>30601796
Well, this is more to prevent them from doing you any harm/stealing you away than it is to keep you from running now that you have the chance to leave. The idea is that you went with Chrysalis voluntarily and the ponies can't really wrap their heads around that.

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>>30601773
>>30601788
Seems to be a trend. First NMM, now Chrysalis. Reformation through impregnation.

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>>30601839
>not helping them conquer Equestria

>>30601839
I know they're mares, Anon, but they've still got maternal instincts. I mean, they're useless in the kitchen and they're so dense when it comes to romance that they wouldn't know that a colt was interested in them if he came up and sat on her face, but that doesn't mean that biology doesn't want them to be a good mom.

>>30601839
She's not exactly reformed, though. She got what she wanted on the moon with anon, so now she doesn't have to plunge Equestria into eternal night. Nothing is stopping her from acting antagonistic or evil, except for being a role model for her children.

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>>30601845
No thanks senpai, I'm happy on the moon in my moon citadel with my moon foals.

>>30601871
>Chrysalis wants to launch another assault on a major pony settlement, possibly as a show of power, but she wouldn't be able to bring Anon with her if she wanted him to remain safe; the battlefield is no place for a stallion
>What would her foals think if she just abandoned her poor defenseless husband in the pursuit of power?

>>30601874
Sleeping in your moon bed with your moon wife, eating your moon cereal that you bought at the moon supermarket.

>>30601839
Next up is Starlight Glimmer

>>30601384
Go, Purple Pudge. Go and claim your destiny.

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>>30601874
>No thanks senpai, I'm too busy building the infrastructure of a civilization preparing to conquer the stars.
FTFY

>>30602009
We had reformation through positive enforcement of human gender roles. I still want it continued.
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30110365/#q30138644
That, or teaching autist Glim and making her dependent on you.

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>>30602169
This is also acceptable. Much more acceptable. It would be awesome to lead millions of your literal children, alongside your loving, loyal and equally ambitious waifu, through the stars on the wings of magitech constructs in search of new worlds to conquer, habitable or otherwise since you have the ability to terraform anyways.

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>>30602169
>>30602215
>moonponies quickly become the hyper religious and fanatical Advent

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>>30601874
>Nightmarity
>Herd of nightmares
>Twin big black mares
I CAN'T HANDLE IT

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Spare us your pity, Equestrian. You gush about your connection with magic, your saccharine friendship, but what has it brought you?
Where are your marvels of engineering? Your voyages of discovery? Your great insight into the nature of the universe? Even at our basest, when we wore your forms, dwelt among you, laughed as you do, lived as you do, we did more than merely lived day-to-day. We built wonders. We mad great journeys. We forged epics. You have not.
You speak so proudly of the marks splotched across your backsides, little realizing that they are shackles and this world your prison. What little you have accomplish you attribute to the magic of your friendship, which is nothing but the voices and opinions of the savages that will swarm around you for eternity. They moor you to your spot of dirt or cloud, serving as a leash that keeps you as little better than livestock, sad parodies of civilization that lacks the special spark to become something more, living and dying repeating the lives of your ancestors.
We have returned to your world in search of stallions. Whether your actions drive us back or we take what we want and move on, the outcome is the same. We will depart from your wretched planet, leaving you behind. And in ten thousand years, you will not have changed from this contact with the worlds beyond. You will remain in your shacks and clouds, slaving away to fulfill the destiny you did not choose, hugging each other in friendship, until your sun burns out and your world dies.
And above your tomb, the stars will belong to us.

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>>30602310
>Anon jumpstarts the next step in Changeling evolution
>But first they'll need just a few stallions

>>30602310


i like this

it is nice

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>>30602310
Literally one word of this edited pasta is RGR.

>>30602263
Letting your children become degenerate space hedonists.
They would taste my slippers before they do that shit.

>>30602759
>They would taste my slippers before they do that shit.
kek

>>30602759
What kind of space empire would you get them to make?

>>30602852
Fanatical purifiers.

Couple ideas.

First, Twilight (or one of the other super magic horses of you don’t like her) accidentally summons Anon from Earth and into Equestria. She is unsure how to send him back and breaks the news to him. He takes it as well as you can expect telling someone they will never go home and says things he’ll miss. Says also how he will never have a girlfriend now. This is similar to how women used to say “Now I’ll never be married” and Twilight feels responsible so she will take responsibility and offers to marry him. It’s the rom com of the summer as what started out as obligation turns into something more.

Or secondly, Anon is summoned or found and taken care of in secret from the rest of Equestria out of fear of him being taken away. The two start a relationship and the kissless virgin status pony starts bragging a stallion who is tall, sweat salt (something ponies get drunk or high from) and can last long in bed. Everyone who hears her thinks she’s making it up because they have never seen Anon.

>“Sure we ‘believe’ you. I mean who wouldn’t believe you have a coltfriend who is as tall as Celestia, sweats salt, cums a fruity salty mix, and can last more than 30 seconds in bed.”

>>30602852
Pre-Fall Eldar minus the Slaanesh thing and planet wide orgies.
I would celebrate their victories but savor every defeat and failure, I would look at them with fatherly care and attention as they twiddle their hoofsies and explain how they (a species that's superior in every way) fail at their current task.

>>30603105
>defeat and failure
But how if there are no aliens. What if it's just tens of thousands of years of peaceful exploration and colonization?

>>30601217
Hey OP, you missed part 2 of the prompt collection:
https://pastebin.com/cNVqJ2WA

>>30602641
>Stallions are pursed in this social setting.
Literally one word of the above statement is RGR. What's the quota for RGR words in text in this thread? Do you refuse to read anything with less than 50% of the story blatantly explaining, again and again, the social structure and how it works or reacts to abnormalities in individuals like Anon?

>>30603185
>defending copypasta
Are you that same fag that pasted that shit from /d/ the other day too?
Fuck off, even the stories about that monster high ripoff are more worthwhile than your shitty paste that replaces na'vi with pony and unobtainium for stallion.

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>>30601839
WANT IT
NEED IT

>>30601366
A year later.
Holy shit.

>>30601217
Bombshell best waifu.

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>>30602860
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1CQ7Vwz8Eo

>>30603565
>Canterlot Wedding fiasco fuck up.
>Cadence finds an Egg in the caverns underneath Canterlot.
>Gets face-hugged.
>Skip to to the altar.
>Just as they're about to expel Chrysalis with their love-bubble...
>Chestburster!
>Everyone watches in horror as it erupts and then skitters away.
>We Alien: Isolation Canterlot now.

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>>30603491
>That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die
Time is different for my kind, fampai.

>>30603141
Oh thanks, I'll add it to my thread template.

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>>30601845
This, to be honest, shaking my head, family.

If your darling wife wants to conquer Equestria in revenge against her insolent sister, it's your duty to be a good husband and support her during her campaign of conquest

>>30603272
>opinions can only be held by one person
>i'd be in a constant state of fear otherwise

>>30604249
>>opinions can only be held by one person
What opinion?

>>30603272
>doesn't know the original copypasta
>reee not blatant enough!

>>30593444
Because anon think where twilight is
she's in a world where men are fucking useless
the most useful one of them all, her brother, is at burst surfer dude bro and at worst a panicky stallion who throws his wife off a fucking balcony
where she grew up with and canterlot were all the rich elitist aristocratic assholes live

No sure she might have been underneath Celestia's wing, but how much time does she really spend with Celestia, and how often which be put in situations where Celestia would have to judge her more sexist behavior?

More likely than not she was around fucking kids of aristocratic assholes and kids are already uncivilized cunts to begin with, add in spoiled rich aristocratic ass holes and canterlot and you have a powder keg for creating a very sexist mare.

You can also go another way and say Celestia shaped twilight and Celestia's a millennia old sexist ass hole. She means well but it Skylake when grandma says racist shit at dinner, she just lived during a different time.

>>30602310
Again with the /tg/ copy pasta. This is straight from the HFY archives. I have literally read this before more than once.

>>30604358
> Shining Armor is a panicky surfer bro
Anon, I realize he is standing between you and Cadance, but that is no excuse for pretending he's some spineless stallion given to bouts of hysterics.

>>30604592
Go easy on him, Anon. He probably thinks the comics are canon or something.

>>30604592
>>30604594
>panicky stallion who throws his wife off a fucking balcony

pretty sure that happened in the show.

>>30604610
To be fair, I'd throw Cadence off a balcony too. He and I are clearly kindred spirits.

>>30604615
im guessing for totally different reasons though.

>>30604618
I mean it's not like I'd feel guilty for doing it. She can fly, so throwing her off a balcony would really only be a token effort to express my disapproval of her being near me. You can't drown a fish, Anon, but you can make sure to get the sentiment across that it isn't welcome.

>>30604318
>doesn't know the original pasta
>complains about pasta
Not him but not everyone is into the HFY stuff.

>>30604641
an alicorn with wings but was shown to be damn near too tired to even move up to this point.

>>30601366
Ok then. I guess that helps make up my mind what to read next.

>>30603836
>pic
unf

"Sunset, Mind helping me with something?"
"Uh..For science."

>>30601750
I want this, I love d&d stories more than you know.

Thinking of them in the context of ponies really makes the ninja bar fight hilarious.

>>30603836
You d-dyke...

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>>30605155
Looking for it, have this in the meantime.
I really should sort or at least name my pics.

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>>30601750
>>30605155
Don't suppose the gnome one would be this. Couldn't find a gnome rogue story.

>>30605259
Close. It's the one where the gnome hides in the anal cavity of a succubus and then pops out to kill the villain after said villain marries the succubus he was inside of.

>>30605259
kek

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>>30605259
I think he's talking about this one. the one where the guy talks the DM into letting him play a slutty prostitute who ends up betraying the party after professing her love for the big bad. They marry and turns out his true character was a gnome rogue who's been doing hide checks the whole time.

>>30605300
>They marry and turns out his true character was a gnome rogue who's been doing hide checks the whole time.
How fucking lucky do you have to be to pull this off

>>30605303
If its epic level pathfinder, he honestly probably just needs to not roll ones.

>>30605300
nailed it

>>30605300
How does that even work?

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>>30605300
Better screencap

>>30605303
DM is laughing and going along with your joke level of lucky. Otherwise he never would have okayed that at face value. But if it's an epic level campaign he probably has enough points in staying hidden for him to never fail the roll. You can only crit fail in direct combat after all. So even if you roll a 1, it doesn't matter if you have 50+ points in the skill.

>>30605327
It doesn't on paper. The anal circumference reference is from another infamous game entirely. That means there's no mechanic to judge that shit. Subjective and out there stuff like hiding up someone's ass is entirely up to the DM to decide if it's even possible.

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Now can we get back to ponies being sexist?

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I want to hire a mare maid to take care of my house.

>>30605407
One of those "Anon wants to be hardcore but his Twilight won't let him" stories.

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Any news on Daring Douche or Magical Boy Anonymous?

>>30601709
>Stay classy.

>>30601788
Because it reminds you, on some level that due to society's crumbling, the 50's ideal of a functioning nuclear family is a near-impossibility.

>>30602169
I get the sense that this, and some images like it, are from some kind of fanfic. I've seen enough images from this artist that I suspect it might be a good story. Anything that inspires that kind of creative passion in people has to have something going for it.

Unless it's all just generic sci-fi pony stuff.

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>>30605407
>Anon is Rarity's coltfriend
>Sometimes gets pulled into whatever shenanigans they're involved in just by sheer proxy with them
>Gets scuffed up sometimes, but the mares (especially Rarity) keep him safe from harm
>Rarity is worried that he's picking up inappropriate behaviour from her friends
>"He's just a colt! If he keeps running off with us, one day he'll get seriously hurt!"
>Everyone returns late one night from one such adventure, and Anon is a bit roughed up
>Agrees to meet with Rarity at her boutique first thing in the morning to put her fears to rest
>He doesn't show up on time
>Unknown to Rarity, Anon forgot to set his alarm and slept in
>Meanwhile, Rarity is beside herself in worry
>She doesn't know if she should stick around and wait for him to show up, or rush out to find him and risk him arriving at the boutique while she isn't there to help treat his wounds
>"Stupid, Rarity! Stupid! What in Equestria were you thinking, letting poor Anonymous accompany you!? Oh, it's so easy to forget that he's a colt when he acts like such a tomfilly! He's probably dying in the streets, all alone, and-"
>Just as she's about to run out the door, Anon walks in
>Anon is immediately tackled by his sobbing marefriend

>>30605464
>>Sometimes gets pulled into whatever shenanigans they're involved in just by sheer proxy with them
Whoops. by "they", I mean "the mane 6"

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>>30605407
>Mare i tell you, if start doing something difficult and prone to causing injuries,

>colt instantly materializes out of the ether and starts critiquing

how do they fucking know

how

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>>30603096
>sweat salt (something ponies get drunk or high from)
Question: We know that horses/equines can sweat, but is their sweat similar to human sweat, at least in terms of salt content?

>>30605485
>Mare i tell you, if start doing something difficult and prone to causing injuries

Whoops. I mean:

>Mare i tell you, if you start doing something difficult and prone to causing injuries

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>>30605464
how adorable

>>30605496
Apparently horses and humans sweat a lot. Horses mainly from their arm pits like apes do. Not sure the sodium level of each though.l

>>30605280
OH I know that one, it wasn't a succubus, it was a normal female slave he bought and puppeted from the inside, he took every single hide in confined skill he could to be able to do it too.

There was another one in the thread that came from that described a campaign with technology where The party had a bad encounter early on, one of the characters took fatal damage but was then brought back by the dm to fill a roll and the guy roll played the character so well no one knew anything was planned,


dont know if it was a green but if anyone has that story, I want to read it again

do any other races (besides zebras) compete with mares for their stallions? do other races actually enjoy the hoerscock?
i think it would be hilarious for AJ to try and quiet granny when anon visits. she'd think it's another mare (she can't tell if anon is male/female, so assumes the worst) and start ranting about strange sub-equine mares tryin' to steal away her only grandson and rob the family of offspring with her "dustbowl womb"

>>30606166
>Anon has a zigger marefriend waiting back home
>Anon silently reminds himself through gritted teeth that it's wrong to assault the elderly

>>30606166
>Be Anon
>"First we got that damn zigger comin' around now you." she says pointing a hoof at you. " Why don't ya go get a minotaur huh?"
>You look at Applejack who is hiding behind her hat.
>"G-Granny, that's not a-"
>"Ah don't care what she is! She ain't getting my grandson." Granny Smith says not letting Applejack finish.
>You think about correcting her.
>Then you get a devious idea.
"To be honest I go after stallions over minotaur male because of their cock."
>Granny Smith is taken aback.
>"Y-You what!?" The mare ask surprised by what you said.
"Yeah, minotaurs just don't have that thick girth that a stallions do."
>"Anon!" Applejack yelps trying to stop you.
>It's too late little pone!
"Oh and their loads! They shoot like a fire hose!"
>Granny has heard enough.
>"Now you listen here! You better not come near my grandson! Then again it's not like you could even entice him with this pathetic thing you call a cu-" Granny grabs at what she expected to be a vagina.
>After giving your balls a few gentle squeezes through your pants she slowly raises her gaze to meet your face.
>Applejack is as red as a Apple her mouth a gasp.
>You meanwhile have a smile.
"Then again, you're quite forward Mrs. Smith."
>You say in you deepest sultry voice you can muster.
>The elderly pony passes out.
>"G-Granny!"
>You check her pulse.
"She's alive. See you tomorrow AJ!"
>You say before happily walking home.
>Today was a get a five year discount on apples to stay quite kind of day.

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>>30606499
Witnessed.

>>30606499
kek what

>>30606534
Granny Smith thought Anonw as a female and coming onto Big Mac and Anon played her like a fiddle.

>>30606600
yes
but why is the question
for what purpose

>>30606499
>"My my, Granny Smith, are you trying to seduce me?"

>>30606639
He did it for the lulz.

>>30605354
FATAL's "roll for anal circumference" is a treasure, but /tg/'s Anal Spelunker class build is the true gift that keeps on giving.

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>All this D&D chat

>You will never be invited to an O&O/Hyperspace game by your marefriend, who is the DM
>She will never blatantly favor and go easy on you
>Her friends will never get more and more angry at her as the evening goes on; not even ice-cold Dew and 3 bags of horse-chips will settle their ire
>When they all finally storm out in disgust and leave you alone, you will never slip under the table and go down on her

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RGRE thread, tell me how big of a slut you'd be if you were transported to an Equestria where the males were the fairer sex.

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>>30606875
>tfw anyone trying to call her, or you, out on her shit is labeled a bitter misandrist virgin
>tfw you've become the cancer

This shouldn't feel so good.

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>>30606894
I would sleep around whenever possible, but that's what I would like to do. In reality I'd probably get swept off my feet by one of the first few background ponies to hit on me, and I would never want to cheat on her.

>>30606912
Don't worry, you make it up to the other nerds by eventuallly herding with them. Then the sex happens.

>>30606930
>In reality I'd probably get swept off my feet by one of the first few background ponies to hit on me, and I would never want to cheat on her.
You know what, that would probably happen to me too. I wanna say I'd put out pretty easily to most mares, but being on the receiving end of a proper courting would make my kokoro go doki doki.

>>30606894
Panic because the idea of all that attention is honestly scary

>>30606946
>Shy wallflower who wilts under the attention of mares
You are now prime husbando material. You are just like their Japaneighs animes.

>>30606894
>slut

Oh I'd be purer than the fucking purest white snow. I'd fall right into the role of a "proper" male. I'll blush at lewd jokes, I'll swoon at romantic gestures. I'll replace swears with sappy fake swears. And I'll fall head over heels in swooning sappy love with the pony no one suspects.

I'll adamantly refuse all romantic gestures or offers from everyone except her. I'll be the lovestruck fairer sex and obsess over her wit my dainty stallion friends. They'll wonder what I see in her and I'll go hours on about why she's so amazing.

When she finally asks me out on a date I'll be the picture of perfection, and finish the night with a light peck on the cheek.

And then for the second date I'll blush and gold her hoof the entire evening, and then that's when I climb under the table and eat her out right there. Followed by an intense love-making session.

>>30606894
In monogamyquestria, I could be monogamous.

In herdquestria I would herd it up.

Either way there has to be Love. How many I share it just depends on what the little horses in my life want and are ok with.

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>>30606974
ohgod

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>>30606976

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>>30606894
I'd immediately hunt down my waifu and live happily with her.

>>30606976
are you legitimately gay

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>>30606974
>panic increases tenfold

>>30607027
>>30606999
>I'll act as the fairer sex
>and then eat her out in a restaurant and then we'd fuck

>"lol anon we can't read but you're gay ew lol"

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>>30607014
>tfw wouldn't even have the slightest sliver of a chance with my waifu because she's a princess

>>30606946
Just find a girlfriend fast and the attention will be cut to a third of what it was.

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>>30606930
>>30606940
>In reality I'd probably get swept off my feet by one of the first few background ponies to hit on me, and I would never want to cheat on her.
>being on the receiving end of a proper courting would make my kokoro go doki doki.
>Panic because the idea of all that attention is honestly scary
Likewise

>Ponk and Fluttershy are the only ones to realise how insecure you are with affection and that you latched onto the first honest bit of it you recieved like a man dying of thirst.
>Knows how devestated / suicidal you'll be if the relationship doesnt work out for whatever reason.
>They work in the background to help you, setting up various hyjinks for you and your mare, making sure you know how much they consider you a friend, etc.
>Operation "Protect-His-Smile" is a go.

>>30607056
>>I'll act as the fairer sex
Yes, that is my point. That is gay. Maybe more tranny-like than gay, actually.

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>>30606930
>>30606940
>get to equestria
>quickly begin to realize none of the mares are interested in you
>you're just too alien to them
>all the way back to square one

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>>30607059
Shit, dawg, why didn't I think of that!
I'll just bee myself since it's been working out so great for me on Earth!
Fucking retard

>>30607086
Chill senpai, he was talking about over in Equestria with mares all over you, just latch onto one quickly and stick with her.

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>>30607086
All you have to do is say yes to the first one who asks you out.

>>30606639
Apple discount.

>>30607085
Most will at least want to fuck a legit alien for street cred. You'd be SoL for long term relationships.

>>30607097
>>30607110
>just latch onto the first one that blah blah blah
>can always find another one if I get bored of it
>literally living like a western woman
I don't want to play this anymore

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>>30607140
Anon, stop putting words in our mouths. No one said anything about throwing the poor mare away.

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>Tiny Appul wants Tiny Dragon

>Anon is basically Spike's dad at this point
>Twiggles finds out that pic related happened
>Is getting set to start freaking out over at Sweet Apple Acres
>Anon intervenes, tells her that they're just kids, just wait and see how things go.
>Spike isn't a helpless colt, he's a mothafuckin' firebreathing dragon.
>Even if she was a horrible mare, she couldn't actually rape him. He'd have to be willing or filly is gonna have a bad time.
>And Bloom is a good girl, she wouldn't try that.

>>30607076
Unless Stallions crossdress in RGRE, it's neither of those. The word you're probably looking for is sissy, so just call him a sissy.

>>30607065
My genre savviness tells me one will start to see me as a husbando and create drama.

>>30607155
oh my

>>30607171
>>30607065
>>Ponk and Fluttershy are the only ones to realise how insecure you are with affection and that you latched onto the first honest bit of it you recieved like a man dying of thirst.

Ponk would *be* the mare you latched onto in all likelihood, since she's the one who meets everyone first or nearly so and declares them her friends immediately.

Her having no sense of personal space would only magnify this.

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Pic related: this would be me. All would fear and love me in equal measure.

>>30607065
>Not dating Pinkie and Fluttershy from the get-go
Pleb. Perfect sweet little waifus.

>>30607216
>>30607227
>one of the first few background ponies to hit on me, and I would never want to cheat on her.

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>>30607227
>Fluttershy
This. She only needs to look you in the eyes to see how much you hope you aren't hurt and betrayed by females. After that, she's always there for you right when you need her. I'd waifu her in a heartbeat

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>>30607227
>>30607253
Yes, Fluttershy would be the perfect pick.

>>30607057
Not just "a" princess but "the" princess.

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>>30607272
y-yeah

>>30607266
>>30607227
>Fluttershy
>Bi-polar pony that alternates between low-functioning autist and screaming mad
>Pinkie
>Annoyingly high-pitched voice and a double-digit iq, no sense of self-realization, and she cannot understand social ques period
Really
Perfect waifus, ey?

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>>30607057
You have to swing for the fences for you waifu. I'd love to go around pranking others with Luna.

>>30607288
>rarity is a massive whore who will hop on the dick of the first 'high class' stallion that looks at her
>twilight is a turbo autist who would never be able to pick up social or physical cues and would be like talking to a wall
>dash is a selfish unloyal cunt who would drop you the first chance she got for someone hotter coming by
i can blow things out of proportion and make anyone look bad too

>>30607301
>>30607288
Of course you two would forget about AJ.

>>30607308
Who?

>>30607288
>double-digit iq
>cannot understand social ques

>warps space and time
>super organized
>has in cannon Hyper-magical ESP

>pinkie

the best strategy is to make your opponents underestimate you
which you just did

>>30607057
>Anon became a villain
>He forged an army, and set to work.

>When Celestia finally confronted him, she asked him why he had done it.
>She was not prepared for his answer
>She expected a simple lust for power and glory, like Tirek, Sombra, and Grogar.
>She hadn't expected him to proclaim that it had been for Love.
>That he had done it for Her.

>He was nothing. Nobody.
>A stranger in a strange land.
>He had no noble titles, no wealth, No lands.
>Nothing that would give him even the slightest chance with the Princess who had stolen his heart without even knowing it.

>So he took what scraps of knowledge he knew from the histories of his people and exploited them to become powerful and important enough to stand before her as more than a simple commoner.
>He sought power, not for its own sake, but for a purpose
>And he would throw it away without hesitation, if it would get him what he truly desired.

>>30607336
>she accepts
>strips him of all his power
>then throws him into tartarus
bad end

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>>30607308
I get the feeling she'd appreciate her stallion the most. She's an old-fashioned type who probably would only start courting someone because she intended to marry them at some point in the near future.

>>30607299
kek, that's great

>>30607373
Yeah, every time I see that image I can't help but laugh.

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>tfw you will never a2g with qt horse girls while they do their best not to stare at your ass

>>30607301
>who would
>she would
I was giving in-canon descriptions of their behavior you potato, what you said are groundless assumptions. Besides the Rarity part.

>>30607381
Which one of them is more likely to shitpost >lifting for boys?

>>30607388
>in-canon descriptions
>when it's not canon
Except for maybe Pinkie, of course.

>>30607388
>you potato
How dare you, sir.

>>30607381
>>30607391
>A female gym-goer will never walk up and condescendingly ask you if you're lost

>>30606946
This tbhfamalamadingdong

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>>30606894
I would rape everyone and get away with it.

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so about that moon colony

>>30607354
>Applejack will never present you with a necklace that has apple motifs on it
>She will never proceed to ask you if you want to share her "barn name"
>" 'Anonymous Apple' has a mighty fine ring to it, if Ah do say so myself."

>>30607822
>Luna terraforms the moon
>You want to help but she says hard labor like that is no place for a stallion
>Leers at you and says that you could contribute moral support if you were just a little bit more naked and/or wearing a wet t shirt

>>30607881
No. Shits a team effort when it's only two of you for a thousand years.

>>30607891
>Luna rolls her eyes and, muttering 'coltish whimsy' under her breath, invites Anon to cast the magic spells required to terraform the moon
>5 minutes later, Anon returns wearing a white t-shirt, which Luna excitedly soaks with water conjured from her horn.

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>>30607822
WHERE IS MOONEPONE WRITEFAG

>>30607939
>"Anonymous! Consort mine, where art thine tiny shorts? They emphasize thy phallus and it pleases Us greatly."

Don't you fucking start with me, ye-olde-englishe anons.

>>30605496
Their sweat is actually way satier than ours.

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>>30607410
No, that seems well within the realms of possibility.

>>30608107
But this time it'll be because she's sexist and not because she's acknowledging your very real problems.

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>>30608153
I miss my lift buddy.

>>30608226
I have never had a buddy.

>>30608226
>going to the gym
>where there's a possibility of someone making fun of you
normos not allowed

>>30607822
>>30607947
LaP and PoppedAnon have spoiled you. with what frequency did other writefags update?

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>>30608415
W H E N

What's the RGRE equivalent of a bimbo? A jock?

>>30608496
wtf her belly is disformed

>>30601217

Who is the filly depicted in the OP image?

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>>30608509
She's preggers.

>>30608527
>Gamer Luna.
One of the most autismal of OCs.

>>30608525
Bombshell, bimbo pony.

>>30608320
>not knowing /fit/ is short for /fit9k/

So many are socially awkward and just immediately leave after doing their meme routines.

>>30608559
Not a bimbo, just clumsy and goofy.

>>30608497
Himbo or bimbo. Certain words like slut and whore don't typically change, they just become gender neutral or flip to whichever gender that would apply to most often.

>>30602169

The Lunar Star Empire will stand half a billion years, a shining beacon of peace and prosperity uniting one hundred and twelve million sentient species together into the greatest civilization in the history of the universe.

You rule an empire that spans more galaxies than your own had stars, immortal and undying, alongside your loving Queen. Your descendants are without number, uncountable, and entire worlds and races descend from your glorious union. One day far into a future even you can't see, you and your Queen will watch the last stars burn out together, and wait for the Final Night to descend on creation.

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>>30608802
That sounds beautiful.

>>30603485

Anon rules through the power of scritches.

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>>30601839
Friendly reminder that if you love Chrysalis and she starts to love you back she'll turn into one of these. But that's ok, since she would no longer need to eat or raising an evil changeling empire she can devote all her time to being a loving (if perpetually pregnant) wife

>>30608813
Her chestplate looks like boobs

>>30609131
Oh wait shit that's her helmet. nvm carry on

>>30609120
>perpetually pregnant
this is my fetish

endless foals

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Dicks. That is all.

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>>30609383
>several seconds later

Can't believe I'm saying this but can we tone down the lewd and breeding and have some pleasant cute stuff for a bit?

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>>30609459
Why can't you have cute and pleasant which segues into breeding? It is always the end game, after all.

Some cutelewd if you will.

>>30609459
Like ponys go to war but it like a giant pillow fight that ends in warm sexist cuddles

Lets have some hug not fug

>>30607299
Oh jesus luna's eyes freak me the fuck out
must be the angle

>>30609469
Because we have been going on about breeding for the at least 5 threads now. With how much we go on about breeding our multiple wives we must look like a bunch of Mormons I am one and I hear too much of that at church

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>>30609487
There is nothing wrong with heavily breeding your waifu.

>>30609459
>>30609487
You know what? Fuck it. I agree. Pregnancy is the endgame there's not a lot of focus on the little romantic stuff your waifu does for you in between or courting rituals.

>>30609494
It is when we don't talk about anything else and that is coming from someone who has a fetish for hyper breeding.
At least give it until the end of the thread before bringing it up again

We need some pure hug not fug cute to cleanse our palette

>>30607391
Sunset if she knows the meme, otherwise she would do it on accident, Twilight might do it to fuck with Moonie.

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>>30609517
Could always focus on attempting to wrangle your heavily pregnant and heavily independent rgr wife into taking it easy until the foal is born.

>>30609546
Why is always Dash that's pregnant? What's up with that?

>>30609517
>Pregnancy is the endgame
No it's not.

Waking up 10 years later in a disharmonious marriage with your waifu and your 3 attention-seeking, needy kids that you hate and climbing out of bed at 6 in the morning to go to work then coming home at 8 in the evening only to have your waifu start berating you on where you've been and why you don't "at least start making an effort" to get home earlier because "what about what I want?" is her go-to excuse to make you feel like shit is the end game.

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>>30609560
Says who?

>>30609563
This is RGRE, not real life. I pity you and your stunted imagination.

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>>30609563
Sounds like to me you married someone you hate. I'm sorry, Anon. Do we need some happy marriage feels to make you feel better?

>>30609563
That's a human woman's standard anon, not a pony's

>>30608497
Jimbo

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>>30609563
And I'm destined to die horribly in some future war, but that doesn't stop me from imagining a happily married life with a waifu that isn't a horrible, unloving harpy.

>Celestia is in court one day with her sister when Anon walks past, crossing the room to get to another.
>Instantly Celestia goes wide-eyed, stiff, and tracks him with her eyes until he exits.
>Heart-eyes.scroll
>Asks her sister "who was that".
>Luna is casual in saying that Anon's a good friend that she frequently hangs out with during her nightly duties.
>Gets a bad feeling when Celestia practically purrs his name in thought.
>Anon, now has to deal with wooing attempts from an old-fashioned Celestia.
>Luna is both amused and embarrassed by her behaviour.

>>30609563
Some people have genuinely happy marriages with good kids. Is that really do hard to believe, Anon? Hell I know a couple who are good friends of mine that've been happily married for more than 30 years, and they just adopted a new daughter not so long ago

>>30609594
generic/10

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>>30609594
top cute

and i just realized i dont have any pics of celestia with heart eyes
this is blasphemy

>>30609494
can i get a source on that image please?

>>30609563

Jesus fuck, this is about the most depressing thing I've ever read on this board.

>>30609563
And you wonder why we'd rather father foals instead of fucking children?

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>>30609623
>tfw no loving waifu and adorable sweet foals

>>30609594
"Uh, Luna?"
>"Hmm?" She looks up from her scroll, and her quill stills mid-stroke. "Is something the matter?"
>The idly finger your bouncy-ball.
"Celestia is outside, and she has a, uh, lute, I think?"
>Luna blinks. "A lute?"
"Yup."
>"...My sister is outside, with a lute."
>She face-hoofs. "Dear stars above, sister: a lute? Seriously?"
"Uh..."
>She gives you a hooded, dead-eye stare.
>"Prepare your ears for a serenade most unpleasant, my friend, for my sister has the talent of a drunken gryphon regarding her skills in playing musical instruments."
>That doesn't sound good.
>Ten seconds later, you're aiming your bouncy-ball dead between Celestia's eyes...

>You are Celestia, and Tartarus be damned if that paragon of beauty isn't playing hard to get!
>...You currently have a bouncy-ball impaled on your horn.

>>30609594
>>30609629
This is not even RGRE.

>>30609628
>>30609596
>>30609565
>>30609563
>>30609560
>>30609546
>>30609517


i bet if any mare were to see RGRE they'd be both scared and aroused at the prospect of single lonely but VERY baby crazy males

>>30609623
id rather be a father than fuck children as well anon

>>30609614
Static or Animated?
https://derpibooru.org/1168926
https://derpibooru.org/1171774

>>30609596
>Is that really do hard to believe, Anon?
yes
the odds are not in your/our favor anymore
its is very hard to believe, thats the fucking point

>>30609645
>female courting male
>not rgre
well memed

>>30609645
given that Anon is the maiden that normally has a guy trying to woo her outside her window, i'd say this is rgre

not our fault you're blind as a glimmerfag, anon

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>>30609646
I bet they'd love it. They'd get really affectionate and loyal mates and in return they give a shitload of foals.

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>>30609649
a true true friend helps a friend in need

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>>30609667

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>>30609646
>>30609665
>tfw both in the wrong dimensions

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>>30609655
>>30609660
This is just generic AiE waifu wants the dick #203. You can see this same prompt in AiE and even /sun/.
The only "RGRE part" is maybe Celestia playing the lute.

>>30609579
>>30609580
>>30609589
>>30609593
>>30609596
>>30609622
>>30609623
>>30609646
>When a random shitpost you make gets more replies than your stories.
Damn I need to shitpost more often.

>>30609680
by that metric there are no RGRE stories, as all rgre stories are just some shade of that

>>30609680
>implying I'm going to reply seriously to you
Here's your shitpost :^)

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>>30609681
>He writes just for (You)s.
Pathetic.

>>30609681
>merely pretending

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>>30609677
Let them in Anon. Let them take over. It will all be over soon.

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>>30609690
>>30609692
Oh yes. Keep it coming. Inject that shit into me.

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>>30609693
kek
is this real

>>30609724
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-an-Anime-Addiction

>>30609693
I mean that literally btw, I seriously want ponies to invade and take over so I can be with my waifu

>>30609751
Hell i'd settle for them just taking over, at least equestrias monarch is more than a figurehead / tourist attraction.

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>>30609120
purified chrysalis is even prettier than your waifu any of the other princesses.

>>30609645
Are you retarded?
That is completely RGRE

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>>30609793
>ponies take over erf
>you are assigned to a mare as a husbando
>ponies literally cannot be shittier than humans

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>>30609828
LET THE PURITY SPIRALING BEGIN

>Moondancer has just helped save all of Equestria
>Is brought before Celestia
>Celestia gives a rousing speech about how Moondancer managed to overcome all odds and how much Equestria is in debt to her
>Celestia asks if there is anything that she would desire in return for having helped save so many ponies
>Moondancer pulls out a mirror
>Explains how she has been monitoring communications from an alien world
>A place full of sad and lonely stallions who desire nothing but a loving mare
>Moondancer asks Celestia if there is any way to bring them to Equestria so that they might find love here
>Celestia is moved by their plight
>Celestia, Luna, and Twilight work for weeks trying to find a way to bridge the gap between dimensions but it would require way too much magical power
>However it is Lovebutt that realizes the power that can bring those poor stallions is already present
>Use the magic of these Anon's love to bring them to Equestria
>Within a fortnight they have the spell prepared
>At dawn with an audience of hundreds of ponies they cast their spell
>In a flash of light dozens of dazed Anons appear
>They are in various stages of dress and emotions they stare around at the gathered ponies
>Celestia steps forward, prepared to explain why they were brought here, when something incredable happens
>An Anon rushes her and bowls down the guards between them
>With a herculean heave he grabs Celestia and lifts her over his head
>All eyes are on him as he lets out a tremendous shout
>"FUCKING DIBS!"
>Before running off with the celestial princess in his arms
>As he turns the corner a bottle of ketchup falls out of his pants pocket and thuds on the ground
>This snaps the others out of their daze as they begin rushing into the crowd and grabbing mares before booking it away
>In the chaos no one seems to notice the skinny little Anon who goes over to a smiling Moondancer and scoops her gently up into his arms before he walks away cradling her

>>30609840
If humans aren't getting the love and affection they need, they WILL take the better option, especially if that union will render fertile offspring. That's just evolution in progress.

>>30609824
>No hoofholes= no hoofhole jobs
Lame.

>>30609854
Hnnnnnnnnnng....excuse me guys, I need to go murder my liver for a bit. Maybe hit on the mare barkeep if I look drunk enough.

>>30609854
Anon should let them know not let just ANYONE into Equestria. Gotta be selective so you only invite the best humans for the job and not lowlife trash that would only cause trouble. Oh and let a few women in too, it should make the transition easier

>>30609903
>>30609881
The original idea I had behind it was
>Moondancer somehow is able to find /rgre/ via magic mirror
>Ends up falling in love with an Anon on here
>Finds a way to contact him through magic
>Knows that there is no way to bridge the gap between dimensions on their own
>He passes her "insider" info on mlp that she uses to save the day
>Uses this to manipulate the princesses into using their power
>Still not enough
>She gets the idea to use the magic of love as a power source
>She suggests it to Cadence who passes it on
>Everyone from /rgre/ gets pulled into equestria to open the door for Moondancer's husbando

>>30606894
No slut, I would be the one making advances on my waifu, I would be the one making her blush with my behaviour.
And then I would the one who tells her that she's everything I ever wanted and that I don't want to make herd, I want to be only with her. And if other ponies aren't okay with that then they can go buck themselves.

>>30609903
>all humans are trash
why so misanthropic?

>>30609929
>It was all anon's plan to get to HIS waifu

>>30603836
Congratulations. It's shit.

>>30605233
"Ain't my fault I'm pale. I got the vitiligo, like Michael Jackson."

>>30610021
I wish
without her actually existing he wouldn't get anything
without chrysalis and candy ass there would be no way for it to happen

he didn't even seek her out, she found him when SHE went looking according to the prompt

>>30609854
>They are in various stages of dress and emotions they stare around at the gathered ponies

>one poor bastard that got pulled while he was in the shower, a hastily given jacket his only modesty.
>those couple guys that could never decide on a waifu.
>the three/four of us too insecure to charge into the crowd of poners.
>the one guy with the presence of mind to realise they need to be somewhat organised.
>said guy currently facepalming at the antics of his fellows.

>>30609840
Some unchecked green for dump

Imagine this happening
You fail every single metric of what is desirable but are still just ahead enough to not be completely unwanted.
They assign you a pony who is fucking hopeless and can only get the scraps of her betters
they make no effort to hide from you you are being given to a pathetic mare who for all intents and purposes has no prospects at all.

a year later, You are taksed with a check up on the mares that got humans, really just a formality in the process so they can better gauge who to take and where to send them at a latter time.

throughout the last month this mare had been shown humans are very unresponsive to being taken as war spoils and given out as trophies, most mares have less of a sex life now then before, with most men saying they only find disgust when the topic is brought up. a few of the mares look like their humans are the ones calling the shots, the one who fell down the stairs 8 times was one of the sadder cases

she looks down at the file, 300lbs, no job, no prospects for a future, the rare things you had going for you were nothing to brag about. The mare you were given too was overweight, had so many physical deformities that it's hard to look the otherway, and to hide them chose to wear distracting glasses and a raggedy sweater.

grimacing at what has become of these two, she buzzes them to come in, then buzzes a few more times, getting fed up with waiting, this is the last pair of the day and she wants to get home and hit the bottle hard.

She finds that a mare and a human walking out of the stallions room together, looking around, she cant find anon and moondancer. she goes to the front desk mare who is beat red and asks her where moondancer and anon are, the pair they exited the stallions room speaks up

>"Hey moony, thats us finally."

>>30610276
>You only look at them
>You see the human
>But this is not anon
>Anon was 300lbs of fat and lazy
>This human is at best 200lbs with very visible muscle, It lacks definition, but muscle none the less
>The mare, while moondancer color, was not moondancer shaped
>She had no sweater, you could see instantly she wasn't fat, but she had curves in places humans tended to like if research is correct
>She also was very well kept, the moondancer you assigned a human too only showered when she finally couldn't ignore the smell
>They walk up to you
>"Hello, I am moondancer and this is anon, we are here to give you an update"
>You didn't notice at a glance, but all the physical deformities are still there
>The spirals are going the wrong way
>The ears are a bit bigger
>The eyebrows are still bushy but look like they are trimmed
>But the glasses, how did you not notice them before?
"Ye... yes come this way and take a seat, We have a few questions for you two"
>As they walk past you your tail flags for some reason

~After everyone is situated in the closed room~

>You look down at your paper and get on with the questions
"So let's start off by asking you how everything is going in general"
>Moondancer is the first to try to say something, this is definitely not the profile of the mare you gave the human waste too, but anon is the first to speak
>"Shitty"
>You both look at anon, you have been told many horrible things by humans, may as well get this 'let me go back home speech over with'
"So anon, what is so 'shitty' and if possible how can we help"
>"Tell fucking witches of the beach to make a new fucking game instead of changing every existing ones ruleset"
>That was a first
>Moondancer picks up and smiles a bit before looking at you
>"Yea, no shit right? If I wanted to play a mini game I we would play hyperspace hyperwars, Give us back old O&O"

>>30610280
>Moondancer, a spergy geek who will routinely spend all her money on her hobbies...
>You now know for a fact you have the right mare at least
>The two start to laugh
>Anon is the first to speak up
>"Outside of WotB ruining their games to attract the casual crowd, and everyone moving to the new rulesets so its hard to get games with the old ones, pretty great"
>Moondancer nods
>This is weird...
"Um, Is there anything either of you would like to report?"
>They look at each other, seemingly deep in thought
>"OH OH OH I KNOW" Anon slams his hand down on the table a bit
>"You have a portal to earth open right, get some fucking meat over here, I want some prime rib, pork steaks, bacon, fucking anything besides pork chops really, I miss good meat so much"
>Of all the humans that were here, you think this is the first time you got something other then to report the middle finger, fuck you, or 'call celestia sun cunt for me'
>"And while you are on the other side getting some meat, can you have someone pick my computer up? well... All my things really, you know what, tell luna to teleport the entire house over here, she fucking owes us anyway"
>Its at this moment that 'she fucking owes us anyway' was mentioned that you stopped doing anything
>How?
"How?"
>Moondancer is first to the draw this time
>"You know, she apparently went to every human's dreams a while back, as they had nightmares of being ripped from their homes."
>You did not know this
>"She also felt guilty after more than a few humans didn't take being comforted by a ruler of the country they were transported to very well"
>You can only imagine what transpired when you saw how many of the humans acted when brought to you
>Anon continues
>"So here I am, in a 'nightmare' that is honestly a combination of several horror movies and anime, just about to break my foot all up in jason's ass..."

>>30610281
>If you were not used to humans saying and acting violently, you would have doubted his claims, but you no longer have the ability to do so
>"When all of a sudden 'FEAR NOT MORTAL I AM HERE TO... WHAT THE BUCK IS GOING ON' and she fell to the ground."
>This gets your attention and the human notices it
>"So, lunas power for seeing nightmares is limited, she only tries to help with the big ones, as small ones don't affect waking hours, and the way she sees nightmares is one of two ways, ponies discomfort, or something a pony recognises as a big bad appears. This means if the pony is distressed she will come regardless of dream, and if a big bad shows up, that too..."
>Well, you learned a bit about luna
>"...So to her shock, the big bad o meter was going off the charts on my dream, so she came in, what awaited her was a hellscape, corpses everywhere, a werewolf stabbed through the neck with a pitchfork, a clown army in pieces, some vampires that were turned to dust, a few xenomorphs with arms ripped off and stuffed through their chests out the back, with me lining up a shot to send jason head over heals into a tree"
>You don't know much about human culture, but you were exposed to each type of entertainment for your job so you can better understand them, you saw 'evil dead' and you can only imagine what other movies this dream was based off of
>"So I kick as hard as I can and look over to the blue mare, having a few women already hanging off me either rescued from monsters or converted enemies, And my first words to her were 'Aw cool, I was wondering if I would get a pony babe at some point'"
>You have no way to respond to this, But moondancer does
>"So anon had no way of knowing that luna can dream walk, and after that orgy with fantasy creatures and luna, she decided to visit him nightly for some more 'fun time'"
>And now you think you have found the first instance of a human coming onto a pony
"I'll see about forwarding your message"

>>30610283
>Anon interjects
>"Tell her the offer is still open if she wants, She will know what it means"
>You shake your head
>You look down the list
>Anything to report
>How is their body language
>How is your diet
>Ah here's one
"Any changes either of you would like to report?"
>You have been wondering this one since they came in
>"Um, not really, you got anything moony?"
>Really?
>"Ah, can you have the rent lowered on the canterlot game shops, fucking blueblood had them raised and now they can't get as much new stock"
>Shockingly enough, blueblood was mentioned by more than a few mares and humans as being a thorn in their sides
>But REALLY?
"More than a few complaints about him have come in today, we can likely deal with it by informing someone having him moved for his own safety would be the best idea, But is that all the changes you would like to report"
>they both look at each other
>they shrug and look at you
>"Yea, I think that's it why"
>Your head gets intimate with the desk
>You look at them
>Then you get pictures out
"This is what both of you looked like before coming here" You show them pictures "What the sun happened?"
>They look at the pictures
>Anon is first to go
>"Aw look moony, this is from when you were still pudgy, shit was cute"
>Moondancer gets really embarrassed
>"Yea well look, this is from when you were still a very soft place to sleep"
>Anon looks at it
>"Yep, can't say I miss that though"
>You look at the two
"HOW"
>That may have come out louder than you wanted
>Moondancer is first to pipe up
"Well, when anon came I stopped eating instant and fast food"
>So anon cooks?
>She got a human to cook for her when she looked like THAT
>You look to anon
>He looks at you
>The then picks up moondancer
>"There is only so much I can do this"
>He begins moving her up and down
>"Without gaining some muscle and losing some weight"

>>30610285
>This only confuses you more
>Moondancer is a bit embarrassed
"Why would you do that to begin with"
>Anon gets a grin on his face
>"Because there is only so much she can move around on her own before she gets to tired and I have to take over"
>It takes you a few moments but you get it and go red
>Moondancer has a small outburst
>"I dont have to little stamina, you just have to fucking much"
>You have noticed for a while now, it seems ponies picked up on human language a bit more than humans ponies.
>You look at the two of them mouth agape
"So..."
>"yea we pretty much banged ourselves into shape"
>He does something that elicits an eep from the mare
>"Not sure about moony, but I still have a bit further to go"
>You have no words
>You just look down at your sheet of paper
>Do you have any goals
>Every other human has said, 'kill celestia' 'go home' or something inbetween those
>Welp, lets see how this one is different too
"So, do you have any goals anon"
>He lookd down at moondancer
"Fuck yea I do, I want to make a herd of at least one of every single spiecies who is sapient"
>No words, just no words at all
>You look to moondancer who is hugged close to anon now
"You have no problem with this? The humans were brought here to try and end the need to herd"
>Moondancer doesn't even need to think
>"Yes... well... with that in mind, I can't keep up with anon at all"
>You are about to ask for clarification
>"He lasts at minimum 10 minutes, and at most over an hour when we have sex, he can and actively tries to make me pass out from pleasure before he blows his load once"
>Your eyes go wide
>"My personal record is putting 3 mares, a minotaur and a dragon to sleep before I came once"
>Jaw on the floor
>On your pen is a small lie detector, and it has yet to change color
"Stamina aside, how did you find those other races?"
>Anon cocks his head to the side

>>30610287
>He then looks like he came to a realization
>"OH, right... well, you know how mares in nerdy hobbies are kind of the bottom for romance and society, seemingly everyone who doesn't fit into their place in life tends to gravitate toward a geeky hobby?"
>You nod, It is something you noticed
>You even made a game out of it when you were younger, guess what they do where you guessed what they were going to do, followed them and when you were right you got a point
>You have yet to miss a point
>Anon continues
>"Well, a minotaur who is too small and thin is undesirable, a dragon who is to docile and soft is undesirable, mares who are nerdy are undesirable, diamond dogs who to smart are undesirable, and the list goes on, but each one of those to me is a positive, and through the hobbies we share, we met more then a handful of females who gave up on life, that we offered a place in our herd"
>You are happy and sad at the same time
>"Oh yea, there are also outliers like fleur de lis who got in not because they were an outcast but because they wanted someone who saw them and liked them for who they were"
>THAT SUPER MODEL IS IN THE HERD
>"Apparently I dont have the same standards for beauty that ponies have, All I can see is that every one of them are cute, even though each has gone on a usually teary diatried of what makes them ugly"
>He scratches behind her ears
>You are jealous, very jealous
>You look down at the paper
>That appears to be all
>You sigh
"That appears to be all, you will likely be contacted soon for a more thorough interview"

>>30610290
>Anon looks down at moondancer and makes an eye move, and moondancer looks to you and makes a head move
>Anon is the one to talk
>"So, after hearing about us you looked a fair bit disappointed, so I got to thinking, why not make you and offer"
>You perk up a bit
"What kind of offer?"
>Moondancer comes in this time after walking closer to you
>"We can't say you can join the herd, that's up to everyone else if you fit in well enough, but for now we can give you a trial run"
>You have no idea what that means
>But you are interested
>You hear anons belt fall to the ground
>You look to moondancer
>"We noticed your tail raise when we were coming in this room and..."
>Trailing off to your seat
>"...Judging by the mess, you have some needs."
>You gulp and nod
>Anon in only his under garments comes closer to you
>"It just so happens we like doing it in public places"
>Your mind stops and rewinds a bit
>Why were they both in the same bathroom?
>"So, are you up for it or not"
>You nod
>Anon picks you up
>This will definitely be better than drinking

>>30609903
How would women make the transition easier? Just show the anons again how much better they have it now then back on earth?

>>30610292
Well, it was an excellent idea. But the execution was atrocious, when you come back to try again I look forward to not want to gouge my eyes out.

did you watch oppressed majority?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4UWxlVvT1A
this could give inspiration to some writefag

>>30610292
It's ok Anan. I like it.

Anon, bored out of his mind from doing nothing because everyone he meets tells him "It's not right for a stallion to do that", reads a few books on ancient law and gets a terrible, wonderful, idea after finding a certain tradition was never actually completely done away with, merely forgotten.

He shakes up the country when he challenges Celestia and Luna to a Contest of Honor and is fully within his rights as a citizen of Equestria to choose them as his prize when he wins.
They quickly learn to get over the embarassment after Anon takes them to their bedchambers.

>>30610292
>>30610290
>>30610287
>>30610283
>>30610281
>>30610280
>>30610276

Good shit man

Please make a space every few lines so it'll be easier to read

>>30610596
celestia or luna get away from anon long enough to get to the door and call a guard passing by for help, only to get dragged in and the guard nopeing the fuck out of there.

>>30610596
>Contest of honor
So like... whoever tips their fedora hardest wins?

>>30610554
Can someone TL;DR this I cbf to watch all of it.

>>30610733
Over the top 'we is oppressed' propaganda with males being treated like women were if every feminist imaginary stories and nightmares were real.

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>>30610733
10 minutes anon
10 minutes

>>30610621
They get dragged back into the room, their hooves scratching deep into the floor/doorframe.

>>30609929
>>30609854

>Literally Writefags in RGREquestria
Despite how meta and ego feeding that would be to the writers, I'd read it.

>>30607146
>Be Anon in Equestria.
>You were not in Equestria but now you are in Equestria.
>You're just outside Ponyville
>You know this to be a fact because in front of you there is a sign that reads
>"You are in Equestria."
>"Just outside of Ponyville."
>"Love, the Equestria dept. of Signs."
>You walk past the sign.
>Suddenly a pink pony with a tattoo on their ass of some multicoloured sperm accosts you.
>You react instinctively and punt them as hard as you can.
>They crash through a window of the local Treebrary with a breaking glass sound.
>You resume walking and as you pass a camper van that looks like it's from the mid-80's another pony approaches you.
>This time they are slower approaching you and do not set off your motion-based vision.
>Instead they set off your light-based vision, letting you notice they are dark blue with a medium blue mane and are wearing a traffic cone and a torn up curtain.
>"Hello stranger, The Great And Powerful Trixie welcomes you to this town and offers to be your guide."
>This pony seems not suspicious at all.
"Okay."
>T.G.A.P.T. leads the way and points out various local landmarks.
>"Here you can see the home of The Great And Powerful Trixie's second deep cousin Twilight Sparkle, who moved here from Canterlot after a scandal where she turned a delivery colt into a delivery colt who was on fire."
>"If you find yourself needing a book it might be best to ask for somepony to accompany you while you are near her."
>You are lead onwards further into town.
>"This is the local pear orchard, those workers over there are currently expanding it onto that dilapidated farm."
>"And here is the local bakery and motel, the food is acceptable."
"Thank for the tour Tagaff, you are no longer useful."
>You punt the garbage pony away through the bakery window.
>Several other ponies are nearby, some of which are approaching.
>Such a friendly town this is.

>>30610991
>Suddenly a pink pony with a tattoo on their ass of some multicoloured sperm accosts you.

I laughed and can no longer get that image out of my head. I don't think I can look at Pinkie the same way.

>>30610615
You must be gay if you have trouble with your keyboard.

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I want to seduce this blueberry muffin.