Incestuous Relationships Thread

>>30594750
>mods deleted the last one for no reason.
I don't think this one's gonna stay for long either.

>>30594765
meanwhile there are pictures of real IRL horse penises that have not been removed yet (it was spoilered to be fair, but still...)

If this one goes under, then I would believe that the mods don't appreciate the penis into penis action. That'd be a first though, as I don't recall threads being deleted for nsfw text. It could have been as simple as there being three of the same threads up too. (regardless of one already at the bump limit)

>>30594777
Trips confirm

>>30594765
>>30594777
If they delete this one it only proves they're fags.

>>30594824
Wonder if it was the pictures or if it was because it was the human equivalent of AWG?

>>30594874
angry wideo game?

Well then lets get back to where we were
Summoning Jeff Mango to torment him

>>30593558
Is it possible to cum while unconscious without waking up?

Can someone repost that Cousin Minuette green concept?

>>30594824
>>30594874
It got deleted again.
Is it another scruffening?

>>30594919
if youre fucking passed out drunk maybe, but i doubt you could get it up in that state
people talk about "Wet dreams" so i guess SOME people can ejaculate in their sleep, but it sure seems like something I could never do. As it is, my morning wood absolutely refuses to finish no matter what I do with it. it has to deflate once and start over, as if that first one doesnt count.
i wonder if maybe wet dreams are just pre

How did you guys end up with this fetish? Someone in your actual family or just the idea itself?

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>Your body starts to go through... Changes
>You body hair seems to be growing thicker, you feel moody, and odd desires start to fill your mind
>You try to ignore it, but your mother Chrysalis starts to notice it too
>One day she calls you into her room
>"Anon, are you feeling... Different?"
>You try to lie, but your mothers piercing green eyes shoot right through you
>You confess to her everything that's been going on
>"Oh anon, those are all just natural changes and urges, you're just becoming a man."
"But mom, I'm 16, I already went through puberty"
>"Oh no, I don't mean puberty, I mean your metamorphoses into a changeling"
>"I'm sorry anon, I may have lied to you,
your father never ran away, you ate him from the inside out when I laid your egg in his ass"

>>30594942
It's a possibility. What was it last time, a mod going rogue or them just fucking with the board because they could?

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>>30594967
It was just this pic.

>>30594944
I used to have wet dreams when I was a teenager before I started masturbating, but I always woke up when I came.

>>30594948
being completely and utterly alone other than family
we wish there was someone that knew us like family but also wanted fuck

>>30594979
now that i'd believe
i just plain wake up if my heart beats too fast so i've never been able to have exciting dreams past age 20 or so

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>>30594959

>>30594996
spice must flow

>>30595017
But it's just suggestive on derpibooru. I don't understand why the thread got deleted.

>>30594948
I had a moment that broke my Westermarck conditioning when I was a teenager.
My older sister and I were home alone in the middle of the night one time. She probably thought I was asleep, so she decided to have some fun times in the shower. Thing is that my bed was right up against the other side of the shower wall, and it wasn't very sound-insulating. I spent two or three minutes sweating bullets while listening to my sister's moans (didn't sound like she was even trying to suppress them), and I was never the same. It was painfully awkward at first, but by the end, I had the hardest erection of my life.

>>30595017
*reminds me

>>30595029
But desu it looks bimbo. You see their latest thread got fucked again

>>30595057
literally the entire purpose of the board

>>30594948
>>30595054
Never felt that way about my sister, but I've got some extremely attractive aunts thatwere responsible for some of young me's first erections, and I've been stuck with the kink ever since

>>30594883
Ass Worship General. Granted from what I can tell the bimbo thread does place a focus on huge tits and ass and that might be why they're getting the axe.

>>30595084
well we can't have that!

anyway let's get off the subject before we raise ire

>>30595091
I thought the bimbo L's were funny. So can anyone write or is mango the overseer of this vault?

>>30595100
it'll come, you'll see.

>>30595100
Bimbo L's? There are a few writefag here and there, but they tend to be sporadic posters.

How feminine is coco's penis? Can't be that feminine if you squirt stuff into hers.

Someone must have had penis on the brain.

>>30595235
We're just making fun of Jeff's typo, but we know he is getting addicted to traps.

>>30595235
It's huge, but very smooth and elegant with nice plump balls with tightly pulled, near wrinkle-less skin

>>30595251
>addicted to traps
Who isn't addicted to traps these days. My favorite kind of 2D waifu.

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>traps
Yeah, hee hee, I get it, """feminine""" penis xdd

How bout not being like every other thread on 4chan ever, though

>>30595291
>He doesn't get the joke.

>>30595296
Wow, no need to fly off the handle there, champ.

I just don't think it's something to fixate on early in the new thread.
Rather get more green or ideas for new ones.

>>30595310
Well before the last thread
was deleted, there was an idea of Minuette being your cousin who goes dentistry school and opened a practice near where you live.

>>30595310
The whole trap fascination worries me. Are men so tired of vagina they'd rather be gay and pretend to be women?

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>>30595357
Another topic for another board entirely, friend, but I agree that it's worrisome.

>>30595310
How about we combine incest and trap

>>30595365
Right. I was thinking of doing a harshwhinny story but that old saggy buttsex loving bat? Nah

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>>30595356
We need more Minuette.

>>30595357
society gets gender fashions so fucking backwards i think they just get confused

>>30594948
Female cousin a few years older than me was basically my only exposure to girls as a kid. Found her mysteriously attractive and it stuck.

Also, I pretty seriously dated a girl in high school who ended up marrying my cousin. Still kinda have feels about that one

So why are we ruining this thread with trap memes, again? Can't we keep that shit in its containment general? I swear you faggots ruin every single general. No one wants to read about your gay husbando's penis. Stop trying to induct Mango into your cult just because he made a fucking typo.

>>30595470
You know he had sex with eqgwritefag from the scilight thread right? He was bragging about it

>>30595470
>induct
Uh, you knew he already wrote Traplight, right?
I was only there for r9klight, but I know jeff's story had alot of readers

Moving on.

>>30595470
For fuck sake I'm the op and I did it because it was a funny typo that was it.

>>30595489
Wait Jeff fucked eqgwritefag?

>>30595508
truly that is all the window they need

>>30595527
According to him at least

>>30595527
>>30595533
Details?

>>30595527
>>30595533
jesus, can we just not, it's not relevant to the thread

>>30594975
>Patreon adversiting

inb4 ,crying won't prevent that but it'll sure help ease the pain

>>30595508
>trap shit is "funny"
Stop trying to justify shoving your fetish into this thread.

>>30595489
Right, and I had sex with your mom.

>She looks are your balls
>"What's the sack for? Do boys get milk too?"
>You smirk to yourself
>Different kind of milk
"No. That's where my sperm is. You see sperm needs just the right conditions to thrive. Can't be too hot and it can't be too cold. Hence it's a sac on the outside of the body."
>She just looks on in awe
"Now be VERY careful with those. They are the most sensitive part of my body."
>"O-ok..."
>She handles your balls as if she's handling a pane of newly formed glass
>And boy did it feel good
>You moan a bit
>"S-sorry! Am I hurting you?"
"No, just the opposite. Keep going, Rub the shaft if you would."
>She does as she's told, the obedient little Christian girl she is
>It was so wrong but fuck did it make you harder than diamond
>She slowly and clumsily runs her hand up and down the length of your rock hard cock
>Finally you explode
>Sunny lets out a cute little soft scream and you spray your love batter all over her cheeks
>You watch as some if it falls into her mouth, giving her a taste
>"blegh. Tastes like salt. Is this what boy pee is?"
>You giggle
"No. This is semen. It's half of the ingredients to make a baby."
>Sunny looks more confused than ever
>"This stuff? But it's goo."
>She tries to wipe it off her face in vain as your spunk just sticks to her fingers, forming strands as she tries to pull it off
>You grab a towel from her room and clean the spunk off
>"It's a complicated biological process. I'll tell you later. In the meantime~"
>You reach out and grab both of her supple breasts in your hands, giving them a nice squeeze
>Your little sister's face goes beet red once again
"You like that?"
>"I... it feels really strange. Like electricity is coursing through me."
"That means it's working."
>You pick your sisters naked little body in your arms and lay her gently on the bed
"Now it's time for the real fun."

This thread is a disaster.

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>>30595564
>BG9

>>30595568
our board is a disaster

>>30595527
Put me in the screen cap for when you start posting details and derail the thread.

>>30595546
>>30595559
>>30595585
My gosh you fucking baby. I won't talk about how Jeff fucked eqgwritefag at the animecon we went to. Shit

>>30595564
>You can see her breath start to quicken as you say it and lean down to kiss her
>She accepts your kiss, to your surprise she goes even deeper into it than you
>As if giving into some primal lust
>When she breaks from your lips she's gasping
>You giggle as you see just the mere act of kissing left her downstairs completely drenched
>Her pussy was glistening with her girlcum
>Time to go in for the kill
>You go right down onto her virgin flower and start to lick up that sweet, sweet nectar
>You start by licking the outer lips causing her to moan loudly in ecstasy
>You quickly hush her up
"Shhh! we don't want mom and dad to hear. This has to be our little secret."
>"R-right. S-sorry."
>She grabs a pillow and bites down on it as you go back down
>You press your tongue through her gateway
>It was so tight your tongue could barely fit
>You could feel her hot, moist walls bearing down on you as you moved in and out, being sure to go right against her clit
>She didn't last long
>In a matter of minutes she popped like a new capgun
>Her body began to shiver and shake and her hips jump up and down wildly as she sprayed her juice all over you face
>You fall off her
"How was that?"
>Sunny was panting like a warn out dog
>"That was... amazing! It felt like all the fireworks from forth of july just went off. I've never felt anything like it... it was amazing."
"Glad you liked it."
>You get up and start to put your clothes back on
>"We're stopping?"
"Do you want to go again?"
>"Heck yes I do!"
"Well alright. One more time."

>>30595578
Wh-wha? Did I do something wrong?

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It's too late to delete this and start over isn't it

>>30595626
Give leave it, they'll bore themselves sooner or later.

>>30595607
Probably because it never happened. You can't just take two writefags and pretend they know each other because reasons. Schwarz fucked BG9 at my college orientation. BG9 was way too into it. Was honestly disturbing.

>>30595631
Just* don't drink and post kids.

>>30595616
>>You giggle
what are you

some kind of fag

>>30595637
Who?

>>30595648
>he doesn't have a masculine giggle now and then

>>30595648
God this thread is fucking feisty tonight.

>>30595616
Did you have sex with any writefags

Was it Jeff

Did Jeff fuck all the writefags

>>30595656
it's giving me an excuse not to bother writing green right now

>>30595670
No. I'm a virigin as a matter of fact.

>>30595656
Might be someone looking for a reason to delete the thread. Any posts about the 2nd scruffening got deleted.

>>30595671
At least its a better excuse than trap dick

>>30595671
Is this normal? I've never seen such outright dismissal of a topic

>>30595689
>is it normal to disregard a thread topic and just default to lol traps
yes, this is 4chan

>>30595559
I don't have a trap fetish I just saw the typo and thought it was funny.

>>30595564
>"It's a complicated biological process. I'll tell you later. In the meantime~"
Not supposed to be a greenline.

>>30595695
For this thread

>>30595616
>down wildly as she sprayed her juice all over you face
your* face

>all this because Jeff had a typo
I'd fuck traps too if I had to deal with shit like this.

>>30595689
it only takes one fuckup and a few well-meaning but easily coerced people to react to him
anyway, I'll .. i'll write it later. or maybe someone could help.

>>30595715
sorry. My computer's charger broke so I'm stuck with the big one with a gigantic fucking keyboard. It's hard to get used too.

>>30595681
Might be right, scruffaning 2 is nigh, the return of scruffy....why am I picturing Scruffy with a Jason Vorhees mask?
>>30595725
Ah, carry on then

>>30595721
Because apparently no one likes jokes and having fun.

>>30595765
I wanna hear about this Jeff yaoi

>>30595765
Its because Mango has a stalker who monitors how many trap butts he puts his penis into.

>>30595788
I don't know anything about it.

>>30595765
It always starts as 'jokes' and 'ironic shitposting'. That's exactly how the trap maymay started.

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>>30595616
>You giggle
>downstairs
>girlcum
dropped like a newborn Chinese girl into a hospital dumpster.

>>30595680
>I'm a virgin as a matter of fact
It shows.

>>30595765
>>30595802
I'm starting to regret making this to make this edition I was thinking of Gilf Velvet, but I figured "Hey why don't I do something funny for a change and everyone here can have a laugh." but then an autist starts complaining about traps causing this spaghetti cook off to begin.

>>30595819
Ah screw you. I thought it was good.

>>30595822
Unironically though does Jeff actually fug traps. That sounds really alpha.

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>>30595858
Last one you're getting, champ, if I keep feeding them to you you'll come to expect it everytime.

>>30595858
>being gay makes you alpha
No it makes you gay

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Minuette dentistry repost as requested:

>Cousin Minuette goes to dentistry school
>Starts up a practice near you
>Give her your patronage because you're family
>Nice place, each dentistry room has a door with frosted glass and no clear windows
>She recommends knock-out gas instead of a localized anesthetic
>Go under, wake up with clean teeth and a filled cavity
>One time you wake up early and discover your cousin between your legs, head bobbing up and down
>You make eye contact right as you cum
>You're treated to the sight of her shocked face being covered in your seed

>>30595916
>traps
>gay
Are you retarded or do you just not know where you are?

>>30594948
I just like the idea behind it, a mixture of sexual satisfaction and that unique closeness/unconditional love that only family has. That being said, I don't actually want to bump uglies with my own family, and I feel zero attraction to any of them.

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>>30594959
PLOT TWIST

>>30595955
This. it's more like I want to meet someone who i'm hot for but who also feels like family
someone I can make laugh as easily as my sister
or who knows what i'm thinking before i think it like my mom

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>>30594959

>>30595944
>do you know where you are maymay
Are you? Only feminist cucks see them as women. It's stil balls and a dick under the makeup. If he's fucking traps he's gay

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>>30595470
>Getting this triggered over a joke
Lighten up faggot, absolutely no one would be talking about it if you weren't constantly bringing it up

So this new green about Rarity and her parents has really got me itching for some good Dadanon x daughter stuff. Anyone got anything to recommend besides what's in the pastebin? Preferably Mane6, but I'll take what I can get.

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>>30594959

>>30595993
makeup is for men, anon. females are meant to be plain

Rethink your lives.

>>30596024
Here's a challenge: write a pinkdaughter that works
you're allowed to not be her fucked up amish dad, but still, how would you write any kind of interesting story with a daughter that bubbly?

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>>30595997
I like this picture, thanks anon.

>>30595930
This needs to be expanded upon.

>>30595235
I love this meme, let's keep it going.

>>30596057
Let's not and say we did you trapfapping failure.

>>30596050
>Seeing it coming, trying to roll with it

>>30596072
I just like making fun of Jeff.

>>30595656
It's got moxie, kid, and I like it. This kitten's got claws!

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>>30595930
needs more greentext

>>30595235
Boku no pico tier

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>>30595713

>>30595997
This. For someone who hates traps, he sure does like talking about them.

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>>30596073
Animals are amusing.

>>30596049
Shit dude, hard to say. I guess single/overworked Dad would work alright, but that's not exactly anything new.

Maybe Dadanon comes home from work ready to go straight to bed, but when he hears Pinkie crying her eyes out in her room, he starts trying everything he can think of to get her to smile and laugh again, only to learn it was some minor issue (like no one showing up to a small party for a school club or something). Pinkie realizes how hard Dadanon works to make sure she's happy, and decides to do everything she can to pamper him when he's home, from cooking for him to giving him massages. When she catches him masturbating, she tries to help relieve him.

>>30596188
The word you're looking for is "cunts". Canadafag here: Canadian geese will fuck you up if you so much as look at them funny. If you're on their side of the street and they don't like that, those toothed little bitches will hiss at you and then CHASE you.

>>30596197
It's like fuck you, my taxes paid for that sidewalk you're being all territorial over. What has that piece of shit ever contributed to society?

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>>30596197
I've read about those fucks. Is it true they're protected animals or some shit like that? Can you imagine not being able to defend yourself against an animal that started shit for no good reason? Sounds like a /pol/ thread in the making.

>>30596189
You're sporkin' my language!

>>30596197
We have those in the states too, my good maple leaf. They are assholes.
Once one of them was at the zoo with us just walking around like a person, looking at the other animals and everything.
at the end he went out into the parking lot and looked for his car briefly, before remembering he flew, and took off.
little asshole.

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>>30596218
Yeah, it's bullshit. I don't know the details (I'm not a hunter, things might have changed recently) but the long-and-short of it is that you can't give those geese exactly what they fucking deserve unless you have a permit and it's within the 5-day hunting window.

>>30596249
Assholes of the highest order. They experience only two emotions: loathing, and spite. Maybe it's the bitter Canadian winters that have frozen their black little hearts, but they seem to get drastically nastier as soon as you go north of the Canadian/American border.

Ducks are cool. They're bros. They'll chill on your front lawn, watch the cars go by, and then fuck off to do duck things. Geese, on the other hand, will fuck up your day just because they feel like it. That's why they have teeth inside of their beaks. See that pic? Just look at that little bastard. There's no reason for all that.

>>30596323
... is that real? jesus, no wonder it hurts so much when they bite. dad was always like 'they dont have teeth, stop crying' assuming they were like duck bills inside. i TOLD him it hurt.
>ducks are bros
well, to us, yeah. to other ducks...

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>>30596197
>Get out of the car
>Turns out there was a goose nestled up in the parking lot, the second I open the door it starts hissing
>Close door and drive to another parking space because fuck dealing with geese
I feel more comfortable around drunk homeless indians than I do around those fuckers.

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>>30596354
This goose could be doing things necessary for its survival, but it CHOOSES to hang out by this door and attack people who go through it. Nature's biggest cunt.

>You will never gain your cousin's favor by grabbing the goose that's chasing her by the neck and throwing that little bastard as hard as you can

>>30596384
that overgrown duck needs a kick in the fuck

>>30596384
>there are people who haven't fought a goose for their cute cousin's honor
I ended up in so much shit, literal and figurative.

>>30595930
We need more uncommon characters like this.

>>30596323
I don't know if I have it, but I remember a screen cap of some guy supposedly getting a group of ducks and geese to fight to the death on his lawn. Or maybe it was a bunch of crows and birds.

>>30596410
there are few animals i'd rather beat the shit out of, and also think I could probably take in a fight.
on the flipside I can't be the only one that wishes I could hug and pet all the cuddly wild animals that would probably kill you. I feel like when Superman's powers first manifested he must have spent at least a month just flying around petting everything, getting harmlessly gnawed on

>>30596323
I always swerve at those Canadian geese fuckers when I'm driving.

>>30596384
I remember leaving work one day and dealing with one of these bastards.
I gave him a swift kick in the chest fluff thing and tried to stomp his throat in.

>>30596323
Suppose I'm in Canada, one of these assholes starts chewing on my boots and I give im a nice kick untill he fucks off. What does law say about that? Shouldn't they, like, manually fuck wild animals off the cities?

>>30596447
Was it two groups of ravens/crows in front of a McDonald's?

>>30596633
they do, unless you're an unlucky fucker who lives in Banff or Jasper. There, you can't do shit if a fucking Elk waltzes into your yard and starts eating your flowers.

>>30596637
That might have been one of them, he fed them french fries and shit to gain their trust or some stupid shit like that?

>>30596670
that sounds about right

>>30596652
Well, I know, shit happens, there's bears walking in the streets where I used to live, but I'm more interested about what would the general law say about me, kicking endangered animal off my property for causing damage to it or just making him not attack a child I'm accompanying. Not going postal on him, just soccer-tier kicks.

>>30596675
Or is it even endangered, or it's just general "do not hit animals" law?

>>30596670
I have been trying to befriend corvids my entire life. Not one of them ever gives me the time of day.

>>30595930
MOAR please

What? Oh, right. I legitimately thought I was in bird ranking thread.

Okay, prompt time:
Twilight is some kind of very special person just like in the show, special enough that she's allowed to adopt a kid despite being a single young teenager. She just wanted to. For science.
After you become a hot teenage man yourself, you find out that your adopted mom is, in fact, a virgin.
adorably awkward things result as Anon is motivated to seduce his hot adopted mom by talking to her about lewd things and sort of coercing her, being the leader in all that shit, etc etc
turns out she's actually your big sister, which neither of you knew until blah blah blah

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>>30596384
Fuck geese. I hate them, when I was a kid one of those fucks stole my sandwich.

>>30596776
it's amazing to me that we have almost completely stopped eating them. you don't even see domestic geese anymore anywhere. i want revenge!

>>30596786
Do you think geese resent traps too?

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>Everything was fine
>Suddenly tension and uncertainty about the future
IT'S JUST LIKE MY JAPANESE ANIMES!
Don't worry, /incest/, I may not be the best writer, but I'll fight with all my heart to keep this thread alive with high-quality >green!

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>>30595930

>>30595824
I liked it. I thought it was good.
>inb4
No, I am not a virgin.

>>30595930
Thanks. I too wish to see more.

>>30596189
I believe there was a SunsetXDadnon almost exactly like this.

>>30596871
waterfowl get regularly trapped by wooden blocks vaguely shaped like waterfowl. I think by comparison a shemale isn't on their radar.

>>30597149
I meant actual traps, not ladyboys. What's your problem?

>>30596739
>anon is basically spike, but not a shitty beta assistant
I like.
>>30597144
Yeah, you're right. Couldn't come up with much else, unfortunately.

>>30595616
More when?

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>mfw I have to take a break from writing my Husband-x-wife-x-daughter smut to do actual work
The big scene will be finished and dumped tonight. Most people who read it will likely be doing so during the day tomorrow (technically later today as it's after 12am for me)
Also there's actual, literal, unironic mouse that occasionally pops out in the corner before seeing me and retreating away. I find it humorous for some reason.

>>30597175
I don't understand the difference.. my point is they fall for fucking wood decoys
>>30597205
though it would be cute if he was still her assistant. like growing up he just loves his mommy a whole lot and the fact that he still manages to 'grow up' before she does.. makes that interesting

>>30597237
What's night for you - a day for me, I'd be only glad.

>>30597175
I don't think that thought crosses the duck's mind as the bird shot does.

>>30597237
And now one of the cops just started using the range right across the hall from the bathroom I'm in. I guess on the toilet is the best place to have the shit scared out of you.

>>30597237
daw, an office mouse. you should probably have that removed..
>>30597265
oh cool, you work in a police? paperwork or summat?

>>30597237
Give him some bread or cheese you cuck.

>>30597286
the minute mice start listening to our instructions to drop all their waste in one spot, ideally on some kind of paper or something so we can clean it up, we can start feeding them and being pals
Until then, they are vermin and their job is feeding our cats.
I can't be the only one who fantasizes about cutting deals with pests and living in harmony, can I?

>>30597256
Oh yeah, that's fine. I just meant that that's kind of all spike really is.

>>30597289
I once had a starling who nested at my countryhouse. Picked the hell out of my younger cherry trees, but he was also chasing neighbours' cats off my site so I let him be. Did not even touch my isabella grapes, this motherfucker, only rastorguevskaya. What gave me butthurt was a nightingale pack, they picked my mulberries, but once he takes a small bite it falls to the ground and here hedgehogs go, finishing it off. I'm losing half of yield because of this asshole symbiosis.

>>30597237
No worries. I'm probably going to hit the sack soon myself. I have to get ready for work in 4 hours.

>>30595616
Hey! Welcome back BG9! I was hoping you'd return with your story. Looking forward to reading about all that Pius Righteousness getting banged out of little sister Sunny.

>>30597274
Desk clerk. I answer the phone, look shit up/enter shit into the database, etc. I also print police reports, write receipts, general front desk type work. Local PD in a relatively quiet town. Soft drugs are pretty much the worst problem we deal with.
>>30597286
I tried but I guess my scent on it or something scares him off.

>>30597427
That's you jackhammering the keyboard is what scares him. There will be no cheese there in the morning even before the cleaning service arrives.
I am kind of amazed sometimes how much the community is illuminati-like. Police departaments, that dude from Roskosmos sending Luna print in space on a satellite, what next, a president secretly watching cartoons for little girls?

>>30597448
Nigger I stop and stay perfectly still whenever mousebro shows himself. I even control my breathing for fuck's sake. You don't think I know that loud noises scare mice? I may be autistic. I may be a beta fucking loser. I may be writing incest smut and arguing on a Nepalese soapstone carving enthusiast forum, but I'm not fucking retarded.

>>30597462
You seem to underestimate mice. They are not too smart, but if you see some giant dude in the room, who suddenly freezes and looks at you, you usually become suspicious.
> I may be
Still beats my position, but mice are paranoid and there's some reasons to it.

>>30597462
And yes, I mught not formulate this properly - keyboard noises are simply indicate that there's something going on in this room, he peeks out to check if there's long silence - and here you are, writing horse fiction.

>>30597501
And some damn good horse words at that.

>>30595930
>Cousin Minuette mutters something about sperm being used in the tooth-whitening process
>HER tooth-whitening, that is
>Nervously grins at you
>Oh you, cousin Minuette.

>>30597237
>Also there's actual, literal, unironic mouse that occasionally pops out in the corner before seeing me and retreating away. I find it humorous for some reason.
>"Eek! A man!"

>>30597237
I don't think I've ever seen an ironical mouse.

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>>30594959

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>>30598247

>>30597149
I don't want to be that guy, but do you have severe mental issues or something? You've been bringing up traps non-stop for like two or three threads.

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>>30594959

>>30595489
JEFF
YOU FUCKER
EQGWF WAS PUUUUUURE
FUCK YOU DUDE

>>30598483
>EQGWF
>pure
In what universe? He literally wrote smut writefag fiction of him getting railed by the other writefags.

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>>30598841
And that's why we love him

*Seinfeld theme here*

>>30598841
What the fuck?

>>30598483
Yeah, he's pure. a pure slut.

>>30598483
Only thing pure is the copious amounts of cum flowing from his freshly fucked boipussy

>>30598950
Someone link it

>>30599034
30598950 here. Wait, no, I take it back. I know exactly the fuck.

Any incest stories about lonely mothers who want another baby and turn to their sons for help? Jeff did that Pinkie mom green a while ago, and she seems eccentric enough to not see anything wrong with making a baby with her son.

>>30599007
>inb4 Jeff isn't writing regularly because he's getting bp
I'd be mad if it was regular pussy but bp is fine

>>30599196
Or Aids treatment

>>30598372
That was my first post on the topic

Okay, who's up for something with a slightly more fantasy flavor?

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>200 posts about traps and geese
Haha, fucking die

>It has been 10 years since your father left you and your mother alone to see what kind of treasure could be found atop the Cloudy Mountains.
>You have finally grown into a confident enough man to go follow him, and find out what happened. You strap on your discount sword and head out.
>As you leave, your mom gives you a kiss that seems longer than normal. I guess she's worried you'll leave her all alone. No way.
>The journey takes you a while, but finally you reach a flat enough area atop the mountain range that you feel like you could actually start looking for some clues.
>Then you hear something. It's... snoring. But it doesn't sound anything like your dad used to.
>You slowly follow the sound to a huge bird's nest. Right in the middle lays a young harpy, her wings and legs splayed out about as far as they can go.
>Rather than being fascinated by a creature you've never seen up close, you feel two major emotions:
>It amuses you to see that she sleeps like a human, rather than perched or something
>And her small (better for flying, you suppose), perky bare breasts stir you up in a way you weren't expecting on this adventure.
>What's more, her spread-eagle (heh) legs give you a perfect view of her sex. Though it is covered in downy light blue feathers, even a small happy trail up to her navel, it looks remarkably human. You can see some glistening pink-purple inside her slit, a distinct bump at the top, and a definite two-lips shape overall. From how it's twitching, she seems to be enjoying her dream.
>It occurs to you that you don't know what a vulture's normally pussy looks like. Cloaca? Is that what it's called? This might be expected.
>But she is definitely more beautiful than the harpies you had heard about. No hint of a beaky nose.

>>30599480
>As you take another look at her sleeping body, your eye spots a very familiar necklace.
>It's your dad's! You'd recognize it anywhere. It has a dagger pendant, representing Ish the Ram-Lion, savior of all. He was stabbed in the neck with a dagger by his own people, then came back to life 36 hours later and totally forgave them for it.
>Your dad wasn't the most devout in the world, he largely just liked the look of it. That's why he wore the unsheathed version, rather than the traditional "peace has been achieved, it's in its sheath" yatta yatta icon that you see more often.
"Where did you get that?"
>You immediately cover your mouth, not sure if you've just woken up an entire nest of the beasts. No, looks like just the one.
>The little harpy groggily sits up, yawns, scratches her downy armpits with one claw, and looks up at you. "Who are you?" she says in a mildly scratchy voice that you still kind of find hot.
"That necklace belonged to my father. Where is he? What did you harpies do to him?"
>"Uh, dude, this belonged to MY father. My mom banged the fuck out of him. That's kind of what we do."
>Oh holy shit, that explains her rainbow-colored hair. You can see the resemblance now. Poor Dad. Or maybe... lucky? If they're all as cute as she is. It also explains why she looks so nice. She's more human than any harpies made by harpy-on-harpy or harpy-on-vulture action. Are there even male harpies? You remember hearing there aren't, hence needing men or occasionally settling for birds. Your dad ain't got time for bird sex, so this is definitely a harpy-on-human thing here.
"Is he..."

>>30599492
>"He got sick and died a year ago. Sorry. He was pretty cool. My name's Rainbow Dash" The tears form briefly in the corners of your eyes, but you manage to at least be polite like he taught you.
"Anonymous"
>"Ohhh yeah, Dad told me about you. So like.." she gets up and hops over to you "You know how harpies usually capture men and fuck 'em? It kinda looks like I couldn't take you in a fight, so.. howbout we skip that part and you just fuck me, uh, willingly and shit? If my aunts have to hold you down, then I have to share you. Fuck that."
"You're.. you must be my half-sister"
>"Um okay, that's not an answer. Look, get out of those. Clothes are so gay. Get 'em off." she flaps her wings a few times and lands with her talons on your chest. She's surprisingly light.
>You are slightly distracted by the close-up view of her sniz as she starts tearing at your tunic
"Jeez, okay! Hold on, don't ruin 'em, I need these"
>You reach for your belt, but the girl doesn't stop. "No way Anomalous, I don't want you wearing stuff anymore." You manage to get your sword-belt off at least before she completely shreds your clothes. Well this adventure is going a little sideways. Dash's eyes light up and she starts drooling.
>"Awesome! A real dick! God, I've gone my whole life without any." You briefly do the math in your head, in an attempt to keep down your rapidly-growing erection as well as out of curiosity. It occurs to you that this girl can't possibly be more than 10 years old, but.. how long do birds take to mature? Does it average out? She sure looks like a young lady, and your wood apparently agrees.
>"Oh fuck, get out of sight! Someone's coming!" her eagle-sharp red eyes spot another harpy incoming. As the shape gets closer, you are able to make out some gross saggy tits, a hatchet face with a beak nose, an ugly fucked-up hairline full of loose pinfeathers mixed into the hair, and legs just caked in bird shit.

>>30599501
>You do not argue, you just grab your sword and hurry into the nearby cave Dash shoves you into. You don't want aany part of that.
>Through the crack you see the other harpy sniffing around, tearing at the scraps of your clothes, and looking around but eventually taking off. That's right, scavenger birds are the only ones with a good sense of smell at all. That was really close.
>"Good, looks like she didn't see us. Heyyy what happened?"
>Your erection has understandably deflated after seeing that hag, and shrunken up from the fear. Dash moves her face down to your crotch and starts rubbing it with her soft cheeks, poking your wiener with her nose. It doesn't take long for the erection to return in full force. "That's better"
>She surprises you by lying down on a patch of soft moss and demurely spreading her legs open. Is she actually blushing?
>"I'd rather.. be on the bottom, if that's okay with you. They all.. always forced Dad, and he didn't look like he liked it much. I showed him how to leave, but he said he wanted to stick around and make sure I grew up okay first." her cute raspy voice is freaking irresistable right now. You notice juice just oozing out of her, getting her tail feathers wet. "I don't want you to have a bad time.. I just want your dick in me, okay?"
>You also realize that her smell is fantastic. It's somewhere between perfect suntanned girl skin and the clean smell of young chicks. You don't care at all that this is your sister, she's just the legacy your father left for you. Even as she picks her nose with her talon, you can tell that having some human in her upbringing has made her a pleasant enough person to be with. How can you resist how warm she is for your form?
>You lie down gently on top of your harpy sister, holding yourself up with your arms as you slowly press your tip into her. Immediately you meet a little resistance.

>>30599511
"A hymen? Do.. do you not lay eggs?"
>"No, but I'm a real woman! Look I've got real feathers and everything, I'm not some downy chick! Everyone makes fun of me just because I've never laid an egg. Cmonn put it inside me!"
"Okay, weird question, but have you ever.. bled out of there?"
>".. Um yeah, that's happened a few times. Why?"
>Obviously nobody told her how the human reproductive system works, but at least now you know she has one more in that style than bird style.
"It.. hurts the first time for humans. Just brace yourself"
>You enter her slowly and feel her maidenhead break as she lets out a quiet, high-pitched raspy noise, then her expression turns back to lust.
>"Your dick's in me, Anomalocaris. It's inside. Fuck me"
>Yeah okay. You press yourself against her, wrapping your arms around her light little body. As you move in and out, you kiss the soft, downy hair at the base of her neck, then her ears, then her cheeks, then her mouth.
>Somewhere in the back of your brain, in between all the intense pleasure, the sensation of her surprisingly tight channel, the intense heat, the copious wetness pouring down both of your thighs, a neuron fires
"Oh shit, wait, I could get you pregnant! Hold on, I think I had some sheepskins-"
>"Uh, duh. That's the idea, bro." she locks her surprisingly powerful legs around your waist. You can't move more than an inch out of her. Oh well, fuckit. You increase your speed, jackhammering into her. The soft feathers of her groin cushion you nicely.
>Right as you both hit your climax, Dash leans her head over and bites you on the trapezius, hard enough to draw blood. Even as you collapse on top of her, she doesn't let go. She just sits there sucking your wound and making adorable cooing noises while you stay locked together.

>>30599517
~~~
>36 hours later, you emerge from the cave feeling like you've died and revived multiple times. Your body is completely covered in love bites, actual-bites, and in a few places, talon scratches. Your thoroughly-pecked pecker is actually aching and your sack is dangling lower than it ever has, trying really hard to replenish its supply. You buckle your sword-belt on and start wearily walking back towards home.
>Dash flaps out and lands on your shoulders. "Okay, Anon." she's finally starting to get it right after screaming your name enough times. "I'll go back to your village.. This place is pretty gay anyway."
>"BUT!" she squeezes her talons slightly "I don't wanna see you putting on clothes. Your other humans can just deal with it, you're my mate now and I want that thing out and ready where I can get to it."
>You're too worn out to talk back. This is going to be a little difficult to explain to your mom, but whatever. You TECHNICALLY brought your dad back. A piece of him. It just happens to be attached to some other pieces that are kind of attached to you.
>As you reach the base of the mountain range, two shadows appear. Shit.

>>30599526
>Oh, it's another two sweet-looking young harpies. One looks younger than Rainbow Dash, with rich dark purple hair, lavender feathers, and no evidence of puberty on her flat little torso. Her sweet eyes look at you no less hungrily, however.
>The other looks slightly older. Shit, how quickly DO they mature? Her light yellow feathers don't conceal any of the details of her sex, and her full, round breasts make your eyes goggle out slightly. Her pink hair goes over one eye, giving her a shy look, and she stands behind the younger, more confident chick, as if hiding or at least letting her do the talking.
>"Where do you think you're going, Dash? Are you going to keep that man all to yourself?" The loli challenges, pointing her accusing finger right in Dash's face"
>"Y-yeah.." the shy one murmurs "H-he's our brother too..."
>"Oh fine, you can come with us. But that's it! Nobody else. You can handle that, right Anon?"
>You're going to need like a whole big bag of spare dicks.

>>30599531
EPILOGUE:
>You lie in the soft hay of the barn that has become your new room, shared with your three insatiable sisters. Despite the herbs your mom got from the local apothecary, which have tripled your stamina, you're still completely worn out and not sure how long you can keep this up. How did Dad survive 9 years with a whole flock?
>Still, three snoozing, fluffy bodies pressed up against you feels pretty damn good right now.
>Your mom comes in right on schedule, as she does whenever the noise dies down, with a big tray of dinner. The smile on her face is the biggest you've ever seen. For some reason, this whole arrangement is just tickling her non-stop. It took her almost no time to get used to it. In fact, you could swear she had a pleased look on her face when she first saw you coming back, even before the harpies came into view. Guess she missed you, didn't care what condition you were in.
>As the three girls pop up and tear into the food, squabbling and fighting and getting each other covered in it (they always clean each other off afterwards, which is strangely fun to watch), your mom brings a bowl of stew over to where you're lying. Good ol' Mom.
>"My strong young man" she muses, watching you devour your food and try to refill your constantly-depleted strength. "You've made this dwindling household into a lively family again. I'm so proud of you." She rests her hand on your abs for some reason.
>"I've been thinking about it.. and I don't think the incest thing is really so bad, you know?" Her hand goes lower. Oh what? No, come on..
>"But.. just once in a while.." she boops your glans, taking some sticky leavings on her finger and eyeing it "Maybe you could spare a little time for me? My bed's been empty so long.." she puts the finger in her mouth and looks at you like a little girl with a crush.
>Fuck.

>>30599540

Good God please do continue. We need this.

>>30599540
Cute. I think the mom is a step too far, but I can absolutely get behind some harpy sisters.

>>30599702
Not what I was worrying would go too far.
>>30599667
But.. that's the end..
I still have other green to write though

Bamp

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>Your little sister Moondancer has recently become obsessed with paranormal things
>She starts believing in ghosts and messages from beyond
>Decides to dick around with a ouija board
>Contacts zero ghosts (or whatever those things do) because ouija boards are bullshit
>She's the only one using it, but she expects something to happen
>Her subconscious (unconscious?) mind starts influencing the movement of the little pointer
>Buried deep in her mind (where she shoves all her shameful feelings), Moondancer has a crush on you, and the desires she feels manifests in the pointer spelling out lewd things for her to do with you
>Moondancer is convinced that "spirits from the beyond" are trying to tell her that her fate is to become romantically involved with her brother
>Devotes herself to making it a reality

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>You will never impregnate and start a family with your Russian cousin Trixie

>>30600424
Little sister Moondancer interests me.

>>30600666
Thanks for reminding me Satan.

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>>30600666
Well fuck you too!

>>30600672
"S... E... X..."
>You frown, displeased.
>'sex' what?
>Whom? It's not like you have any friends to fuck.
>The only other person you really ever even talk to is your big broth-
>The pointer starts moving again, and you bring your focus back to the board.
"A... N... O... N..."
>...
>What the fuck.
"Sex Anon?"
>Your face heats up as l-lewd images of Anon pop into your head, completely unwanted.
>100% unwanted.
>Nope.
>You sure don't think about him at night when you masturbate.
>Never ever.
>Wh-What are the spirits trying to tell you?
>You laugh nervously and peer around into the dark corners of your room
"That's... that's really funny, ghost. But seriously, what is my destiny?"

>>30600424
Now that's cute. I could go for that.

>>30600424
Fund it.

>>30599540
Nicely done, short and cute little story. Can't say I've ever read green about harpies so points for fresh idea as far as I'm concerned.

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>>30599540

>>30599480
>>As you leave, your mom gives you a kiss that seems longer than normal.
>She also added a bit of tongue, which confused you.

>>30601170
>"If you don't find your dad, you can just replace him!"
>You thought you were already, what with filling in for his chores and gathering enough wood and random small monster loot to keep you both fed, but apparently she needs you for more. You'll have to figure out what that is later.

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https://pastebin.com/6EANBAsf

>>30411845
>You wake up in your sister's bed, blanket covering you.
>The first thing you notice is that you're naked. The second thing is that you're alone.
>"Hey."
>A shocked yelp rushes through your teeth as your upper body dashes forward into a sitting position.
>Heart pounding against your ribs, you hear an outbreak of giggles beside you after a moment's silence.
>It's her. She was laying right next to you, in a blindspot.
"Wuh... wha... Fluh..."
>You're still too shocked to form a sentence.
>Turns out that you're really fucking jumpy after waking up naked in someone else's bed.
>The fact that you just violated the most taboo of all taboos probably doesn't help, either.
>"S-sorry... I... pfft-"
>Sitting up herself, her giggles escalate into a full laughter.
>A couple of seconds pass and her fit has no end in sight.
>Her head falls on your shoulder, gripping your arm while still convulsing.
>"You... you're just... too..."
>She's not having much success forming sentences, either.
>Looking in her direction instead of staring away in embarrassment, the lingering shock melts away.
>You've never seen your sister so outwardly cheerful.
>She would always hold back her voice in situations like this. Now, she doesn't seem to care at all.
>Catching her infectious laugh off her sparkling face, you begin chuckling yourself.
"Wow, you really got me."
>"S-sorry... I shouldn't... pfft... be laughing..."
>Finally getting a handle on herself, she takes a series of deep breaths, eventually culling her laughter.
>"That wasn't on purpose, I swear."
>That much was obvious. Jump-scare pranks have never been her thing.
"It's fine. How long was I out?"
>"A little over three hours."
>Damn. That means it's late.
>You sigh, figuring all good things must come to an end.
>"Alright... I should get going, then."
>Her grip on your arm tightens, holding you in place before you even start moving off the bed.

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>>30601426
>"You don't have to leave... i-if you don't mind."
"Well, mom will get pissed..."
>Laying her head on your shoulder, she cuddles against you.
>"You don't have to accommodate her, you know... mom will get mad no matter what you do."
>You gulp, not expecting this kind of blunt response.
>That's been your suspicion for a long time, but confirmation from your sister provided an uncomfortable sense of finality.
"What's her, uhh... deal, anyways?"
>Your sister's face loses its luster, showing a hint of sadness.
>"Don't take this the wrong way, but... I think I was, umm... the favorite..."
>Looking away while hugging her knees, she mumbles something apologetic.
"What do you mean..?"
>"She always spoiled me, and I looked up to her for a long time. Until I noticed how she treated you..."
>That must've been the day she effectively adopted you.
>The day you jumped off your bike at full speed in the vain hope that your mother would care, only to get something even better.
>"S-sorry, I should've noticed earlier..."
>Seeing her biting her lip while avoiding eye contact, this seems to be bothering her more than you.
"It's fine. You would probably have been my favorite, too."
>"Don't say that, Anon..."
>Taking the following silence as your cue, you lean against your sister, the sides of your heads touching.
>"You're really not... mad, at all?"
>You chuckle, trying to dispel the tension.
"No, you raised me better than that."
>Amusing as it was to watch the blood flow to her face, a yawn cuts you off.
>Falling on the pillow with a thud, you decide there's no reason to leave. Half your stuff is already here, anyways.
>Laying on your back, you feel the warmth of bare skin pressing against your side.
>"You know..."
>She reaches a hand across your chest, bringing her lips up against your ear.
>"I'm not tired yet. Are you?"
>Suppressing another yawn and blinking the mist out of your eyes, you turn to look at the face next to you.
"Uhh... no. Not at all."

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>>30601436
>Having run yourself completely out of breath, you stumble inside your sister's apartment, huffing and puffing.
>You don't see her anywhere, so you head straight for the shower.
>Quickly rinsing off all your sweat, you step and out get into the change of clothes you brought earlier.
>Deciding you were too sedentary, you've taken to regularly going outside for jogs, as well as some push-ups before sleep.
>Your sister goes to all these lengths to maintain her modelling body, so you figured you should make some kind of effort yourself.
>Regardless of what she says, like hell are you worthy of her as you are now.
>Stepping out of the bathroom, you hear some scribbling behind the bedroom door.
>She probably heard you turning on the shower, so you knock once and open the door slowly.
"Hey, Flutters. Studying something?"
>Sitting on her desk chair, she's gnawing a pencil quite vigorously.
>She's a mess again. Wildly unkempt hair and not wearing any pants was a pretty surefire way to know she hadn't left the house today.
>Looking at you with a pencil still in her mouth, she at least looks happy to see you.
>"H-hey! And yes, I have exams soon..."
>Well, that explains it.
>Sitting down on the bed, you note pieces of clothing strewn about, some more blush-inducing than others.
>"Sorry about the mess... it's hard to do anything with these exams hanging over my head..."
"Still looks better than my room, no worries. When are the exams?"
>"N-next week."
>Back to gnawing her pencil, she doesn't look very sure of herself.
"Are you nervous?"
>Your sister nods, laying the pencil down on the desk.
>"I don't know what I'll do if I... f-fail..."
>You're really not a fan of seeing her so stressed out, but what can you do to help?
>Apparently being an aspiring veterinarian means you have to learn some really difficult stuff.
>A synapse sparks in your head.
>You can't actually help her study, but you're pretty sure you can help solve the other side to her problem.

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>>30601447
>You gulp, not sure how to broach the subject.
"W-well... if you want to take a break, maybe I can help..."
>Your sister tilts her head inquisitively, not getting the insinuation.
>Trying to keep the blood out of your face through sheer force of will, you take a deep breath.
"With, the-uhh... the stress."
>"How do you mean?"
>The question forces your eyes to the ceiling, the floodgates to your face breaching.
>Of all the times for her to be oblivious, why did it have to be now?
"I mean... I could, uhh... you know..."
>A giggle cuts you off, followed by a hand on your thigh as your sister stands off her chair and sits against your side on the bed.
>"I know what you mean, Anon."
>You deadpan, not sure whether to curse your sister's sense of humor or your own gullibility.
>"Thanks, but you don't have to go that far. Just having you here makes me feel a lot better."
>If words can kill, these definitely came close.
>Still, you're not ready to let this go yet, since she's probably just probing your intentions.
"Well... it couldn't hurt, right?"
>She looks puzzled, not expecting you to press the issue.
>"Umm... are you sure you want to..?"
>You've already left her hanging once, which is bad enough, but the thought is arousing enough in and of itself.
"Yes. You don't?"
>Blood gathers on your sister's face during a moment's silence, before she leans in and gives you a kiss on the cheek.
>"Oh, I never said that..."
>As if performing a magic trick, she pulls off her panties and kicks them on the floor without even standing up.
>Feet still touching the ground over the side of the bed, she lays down on her back, giving you the perfect view of your target.
>Getting down on your knees on the floor inbetween your sister's spread legs, you take a deep breath.
>This isn't nearly as nerve-wracking as your first time, but you can still feel a lingering doubt in the back of your head.
>Is this even going to work?

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>>30601457
>"Umm... you should try to-EEP~"
>The first contact wasn't very ambitious, but a simple, vertical stroke of your tongue was apparently enough to cause a reaction.
>Thank god the porn hadn't lied to you.
>You probe inside to sample the taste, finding it somewhat salty, but otherwise neutral.
>"Hnnngh... I guess... you know what to do..."
"This, right?"
>You ram your appendage inside and stroke upwards repeatedly, taking slightly different trajectories each time until you find what you were looking for.
>"Unnf-AAAAH~"
>A hand grabs the back of your head as your sister stumbles around, pushing you further in.
>Accepting the encouragement, you rapidly flick at your sister's bundle of nerves with the tip of your tongue as if your life depended on it.
>Remembering some instructional videos you watched, you decide to up the variety, suckling on the throbbing nub.
>As if you just flicked a switch, her entire body begins trembling, releasing with it a long series of erratic moans.
>Sitting up, you decide to take a look at the culmination of your efforts.
>Panting up into thin air, your sister's extremities continue twitching for a couple of seconds, her body eventually going limp as her moans die down.
>You didn't think you'd finish her off this quickly (if at all), but you're not about to complain.
>"Ah-Anon..."
>She offers you her hand, which you take, pulling her up into a sitting position.
>"Thanks..." She pecks your cheek with her lips. "Now I actually feel like studying some more."
"C-cool! Also, I was thinking... if you need more of these, uhh... breaks, I could, you know... stay."
>"What, you mean, the entire week..?"
"Yeah... and I could fetch groceries, cook, whatever gives you more time to study."
>She pauses, considering the proposal.
>"I'd really like that."
>She leans sideways, hugging your arm.
>"In that case, this might be a good time to tell you..."
>She tightens her grip, breathing into your ear.
"I'm on birth control, so, umm... don't be shy."

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>>30601471

>>30601471
Just noticed I forgot to green the last line right after I clicked post, damn it. And I see my last update for this has 404'd, clearly I've been lazy.
/dump

>>30601447
Did we miss something between the previous post and this one?

>>30601511
The first two posts probably belonged in the previous dump, the next three should have been their own. Maybe I should have separated this into to make the scene-change more apparent, but it's been so long I just went and posted everything.
So yeah, my bad.

>>30601581
I think the problem is that >>30601426 feels like a beginning/resuming scene: you woke up

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>>30601471
FUCK

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>>30601471
>I'm on birth control
i want my gross incest babies damn it

>>30601741
maybe after she gets a good vet job. god bless the liberal government and its mandatory employee coverage even for people who plan to immediately get pregnant and start leeching. How silly people are to blame them when they don't want to hire women as a result.

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>>30602001
>>>/pol/
>>>r/mensrights

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>>30602001
>calling a gubmunt that financially supports heterosexual procreation "liberal"
you /pol/tards have gone so far off the edge that i'm not sure what you even stand for anymore.

>>30602021
fukken saved

>>30602001
god damn it pol I just wanted a comfy story with babies in it for fuck's sake i didn't ask for this

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>>30602065
Racially insensitive Appulniece growing out of her teen alt-right phase and landing straight onto Anon's lap when?

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>>30602175
>landing straight onto Anon's lap
with the help of Anon's SJW sister, Glimglam

>>30602021
>that pic
libs and homos do the exact same thing tho

>>30602021
I don't remember furries ever doing any of that

>>30602267
You must be at least 18 to post here.

>>30602041
hey man just because I can see kind of an untenable and hilarious problem with a modern system doesn't mean I have any BETTER ideas. I just thought it was funny to get a job so you can afford to have a babby, by immediately ceasing to work and just draining money they're legally required to give you. It's like some kind of double-reverse welfare

>>30602299
the whole reason paid pregnancy leave exists is to help parents care for their infants so they don't spend their critical first months neglected and become mentally retarded like yourself.

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>>30594750
Are cousins OK?
Are ponies OK?

>>30602299
>he thinks investing into the future generation is a waste of tax (theft) dollars
I must you remind you that you can't post here if you're underage, my child.

>>30602342
>Critical first months
the ones that traditionally are shared between lots of women anyway? or were until recently..
I mean, that doesn't solve the fact that the real critical years are all-the-years-after-that, and being-employed means you never see the kids again and they get raised by someone else, so.. yeah, problem unsolved.

>>30602374
yes, they aren't even incest
yes, this is the pony board. we just tend to like nohooves better.

>>30602390
Look dude I wasn't trying to start some shit, but it helps if you don't drastically misunderstand. First of all, I am an old fart. Secondly, it's not tax dollars in this case, that's why it's so funny. Hence 'double reverse'. It's money being taken from the businesses. Then we wonder why the economy declines. It basically turns employees from a resource into a liability. It turns the employer against them, and ends up making the workers even more exploited than before, because now they have to wring every bit out of them they can, and encourage everyone NOT to take the vacation they're required to provide.. resulting in the states having less time off than anyone. That's not something a raving righty would say, right?
But don't even get me started on required provision of healthcare benefits..

>>30602406
Babies are tiny useless shit factories that WILL asphyxiate on their own saliva if you aren't there to prevent it. They're quite literally helpless for up to 12 months as they figure out how to vomit milk without dying or squirm around without shearing a cartilage.

t. watched and helped my sister raise one of these useless faggots

>>30602415
>yes, they aren't even incest
Anon, I don't know what to tell you. Cousins are related. That is, by definition, incest.

Jesus christ this thread turned to shit these last 30 posts.

>>30602435
Oh you meant physically neglected. I didn't realize that was a motivation or concern. Okay, valid point
now can we get back to naked horse women

>>30602453
>I didn't realize that was a motivation or concern
Do you have autism?

>>30602445
Psst, Anon. You're related to me. And if you're a given distinct race, you're about as related to everyone in that race as you are to your cousins.
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2564/whats-wrong-with-cousins-marrying

>>30602458
I didn't realize that was the motivation or concern -in question- on this specific topic.
Apparently I wasn't autistic enough.

What if Rainbow Dash is your daughter and insists on joining you in the shower all the time. Y'know, to save time!

So I was completely wrong about the Raridaughter update coming out last night. Don't worry, though. I'm not pushing the schedule back to Soon™ just yet. It'll be either tonight or tomorrow.

>Be Night Light Jr.
>12 years old.
>You're excited to meet your cousin Flurry again.
>It's been a while since you seen her.
>What's best is that you get to spend your summer with her.
>You were ten the last time you did that.
>You remember the fun times you had with her.
>Going to the beach.
>Building sand castles.
>swimming in the ocean.
>Sleeping in the same room with her and your sister.
>Braiding each other's hair.
>Talking about boys.
...
>Wait, no, you never did that part.
>That was mostly your sister.
>You were most likely asleep.
>Anyways you arrive at your cousin's house.
>Your mom knocks on the door.
>Your aunt and uncle invite you in.
>While they're busy talking you try to find your cousin.
>But first a small snack.
>You were a bit hungry.
>Besides you know where the kitchen is.
>You head in their to get yourself.... I don't know maybe a soda or something.
>You enter the kitchen.
>First thing you was not what you expected.
>You see your cousin.
>Only with a towel draped across her shoulders, covering her breasts a bit, Drinking a soda.
"Fl-Flurry?"
>Your cousin turned to see you.
>She was caught off guard by your presence so much that she spat out her drink.
>"N-Nighty?!", she screamed while trying to cover herself up better, "I thought you were supposed to be here at noon!"

>>30602542
>your teenage daughter Rainbow Dash insists on bathing with you to save time and money
>it made you uncomfortable at first, but after the first few days everything seemed fine
>weeks later the loofah went missing, so your daughters taken to rubbing body wash onto you using her bare chest and quietly moaning as we washed herself
>no matter how many times you buy a new loofah, it always mysteriously "disappears" by the next day

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>>30600666

>>30602631
I like where this is going. Kids slowly growing up is the best. That King of the Hill episode... maan..
>>30602664
That almost seems like something rara or flutters would do, but I like it!

>>30602631
>While trying to cover herself, she accidentally made a few things drop to the floor.
>The noise she made could be heard all the way from the living room.
>Your uncle then came in to check up on the two of you.
>"What happened?", your uncle asked as he entered, "Is everyone O- GOOD SWEET MIKE!!"
>Your uncle then shielded your young, innocent eyes.
"Flurry!!", you heard your uncle call out, " Go to your room and get some clothes on, right now!"
>You could hear some footsteps running out of the room.
>You assume it's your cousin.
>After she left, your uncle then gave you your sight back.
>There was then an awkward silence between the two of you.
>"So..... Lovely day we're having huh?"
"Y-yeah..."
>"...... You wanted a soda right? Here... Umm... Have a root beer."
"O.... OK......"
>"..... OK Nighty.... I'm going to be serious with you, I'm sorry that you had to see that, she's been making it a habbit to just come down here and grab a soda after a shower. Of course your aunt and I have been telling her to stop, but she didn't obviously."
>You couldn't help that your face was still blushing from that whole experience.
>It was like something you would only see happen in a dream.
>You couldn't hear what else your uncle was saying.
>You're still processing what you just saw.
>"So if you could... PLEASE forget that you ever saw this.
>How could you forget?
"I-I guess I can."
>"Good..... Umm..... We should probably go say bye to your mom."
"Yeah...."
>This will be an interesting week.

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>>30599702
>I think the mom is a step too far
Do you even know which thread you're in right now?

>>30599737
Left my dick diamonds, my broski.
You got a bin?

>>30600766
"M... A... T... I... N... G..."
>A bead of your liquid lust trickles down your thigh as the pointer moves
"P... R... E... S... S..."
>The mere thought of your big brother filling your womb beyond capacity with his baby batter weakens your knees, nearly sending you to the floor

>>30599737
>>30602776
I guess a step too far was a poor choice of words. I just meant that it seemed kinda out out of nowhere and unnecessary

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>>30601471
Beautifully lewd

>>30602631
Hold on a second

>Night Light Jr.
>Night Light is your father
>Twilight Velvet is your mother
>Twilight Sparkle is your sister
>Shining Armor is your brother
>Cadence is your sister-in-law
>Flurry Heart is your niece, not your cousin
>If your were visiting her, you'd be going to your brother's house, not your aunt and uncle's

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>>30602776

>>30602749
>You say bye to your mother before she leaves back to home.
>Promising that she would be back by a week.
>Leaving you in the custody of your aunt and uncle.
>And of course your cousin.
>Of course the first thing you do is make yourself at home.
>Enter the guest room.
>You unpack your small backpack.
>In it carrying underwear, shorts, pants, shirts, sweaters, and of course swimming trunks and books of various genres.
>They did just install a pool.
>Maybe a little dip won't hurt to try out.
>You then proceed to go the bathroom to change into your swimming trunks.
>After taking off all your clothes you then start outing on your trunks.
>Suddenly the door flings open.
>She was busy talking to her friend on the phone.
>"So I told them I'm not that desperate an-"
>She then stopped.
>She stared at your completely nude body
...
...
...
>"I-I-I'm sorry..... Should have knocked."
>She then quickly left and slammed the door closed.

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>>30602826
>Someone doesn't know him.

>>30602749
Jeez, overreact much? Eh, dads.

>>30602776
I have done some bins in the past, but I don't have any collected bin. Last few greens, nobody has even asked. I've just assumed people will add it themselves if they like it. Glad you did!
>>30602815
now that is a fair criticism. It was indeed tacked-on, since the character literally shows up out of nowhere. I just felt it would be funny. Kind of had a Mowgli and Probably-Mowgli's-Mom thing going on.. one of the best maybe-incest moments in classic literature. She sees this fucking god of a man walking around, with all his bits and pieces, and can't help but compliment how handsome he's grown up without her to raise him

>>30602839
she's doing it on purpose

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>>30602815
Sexing up your hot, lonely mom after you come home from an adventure is always necessary. Always.

>>30602856
>Literally who?
Let me try to piece this shit together:
It looks like it might be Twi's son, but it's name is Night Light Jr.
Is it supposed to be Twi and her father's love child from some shitty story I never read?
If not, why is it called Jr.?
You can't skip a generation and call your kid somebody else's junior.

>>30602826
Obviously Twilight named her son Night Light Jr.

>>30602839
God bless little Flurry
>You can't skip a generation and call your kid somebody else's junior.
Tell that to Vegeta Jr and Goku Jr

>>30601426
>"Alright... I should get going, then."
Shouldn't be a green line
>>30601471
>"I'm on birth control, so, umm... don't be shy."
LET HER LEAVE WITH YOUR CUM INSIDE EVERY SINGLE MOMENT!

>>30602839
>After that awkward experience you then start heading towards the pool.
>You then go in through the pool stairs.
>Don't want to risk hitting your head in the pool floor while diving.
>The water is cold as ice.
>But it was a blistering hot summer day, so it complimented it made the temperature just right.
>You swam around it for a bit, enjoying every second of it.
>You were in there for a while now.
>Hopefully you're not wrinkling.
>You decide to get out.
>You then try to look for a towel.
>You would think they would put some towels outside because of the pool.
>But nope.
>No towels.
>Guess you'll have Mr Sun take care of this.
>You lay down in one of the lawn chairs to try and get some heat on you.
>It feels rather nice.
>You're starting to doze off.
....
>"Hey!", you hear someone call for you.
>It's your cousin Flurry.
>"Nighty it's a bad idea to lay down outside in the sun without a bit of sunscreen. You're going to get sun burnt like that."
"I'm just drying off though."
>"Still, you could get sunburnt. You don't want to stay in all week because of that right?"
"No...."
>"Then let me help you out with this.", she said as she squeezed some sun screen in her hands.

>>30602947
That or she named him Night Light, but everyone he knows knows Night Light as this big important guy, and they debated whether to call him Nighty or whatever, just to tell him apart, but he hated it and wanted the full name
so they tacked on the junior and suddenly he felt respected.

>>30602978
Best cousin

>>30600666
My russian cousin is not that pretty anyway.

>>30602978
"I think I can do this myself Flurry."
>"Come on Nighty, it'll be better this way. Besides, I'll be able to reach places you can't."
>She does have a point.
>She can basically do your back easily.
"Alright Flurry, you can put the sunscreen on me."
>She gave out a warm smile.
>"Alright Nighty, this might be a bit ticklish."
>She then began to rub the sunscreen on your chest.
>She's right.
>it does feel ticklish.
>You were expecting her to do your back though.
>Doing your chest just feels....
>Funny.
>Not in the ha ha, Auntie Pinkie told a joke.
>More like your body feels tingly.
>Your cousin then went around you and then began doing your back.
>Still feels the same way.
>All tingly and unnerving.
>She then went on to your neck.
>Then face.
>Then your arms.
>"Alright. All that's left are your legs"
"I-I think I can do that on my ow-"
>Before you could finish she already started.
>Rubbing the sunscreen up and down and all around your legs.
>Going further and further up.
>You're starting to feel uncomfortable.
>It's getting creepy.
>She seems to get closer and closer to your forbidden zone.
"Fl-Flurry!!"
>She looks up at you.
>"Yes Nighty?"
"I think that's enough."
>"Oh..... OK then...."
"I think I just want to lay down and jus-"
>"Hold on Nighty."
>She then hands you the sunscreen.
>"You have to do me now."

>>30602631
>>30602749
>>30602839
>>30602978
>>30603080
Stopping for now.
Need Sleep.

Mind keeping these safe in case the thread dies?
Thanks.

Also....... I hope you know who I am.

>>30603090
cool it on the period abuse

thats not even how you use ellipsis

>>30603090
Don't know or care, feel free to never come back. Your OC is shit and you should feel bad.

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>>30603090
Long time no see m8.
Don't abuse ellipsis and check your punctuation. Keep it up senpai.

>>30603109
>muh Anon

>>30603080
>Nighty jr gets spooked when Aunt Candy comes near.
>He squeezes the bottle in response causing the sunscreen to be splatted all over Flurry's face.

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>>30600666
>tfw you realize no one actually wants Trixie, but Heavy with the body of Trixie

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>>30603222
I'd love some Trixie without a body of a Heavy

>>30603276
oh bby

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>>30603276

THE RUMP WAS THICC

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>>30603222
I'd joke about Zarya being Trixie with a body of a Heavy, but I dont have any pics with her.

>>30603276
>>30603309
I wanna squeeze those buns

>>30603309
>"Cousin Anon, ravage my ass like Russian winter did to Nazi soldier.

Summoning onichansfables

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>>30603572
I see you found it

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>>30603603

>>30603683
>Anthro

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>>30603695
All the fics ITT are humanized, not furshit

>>30603705
> hurr the world is black and white durr
No wonder this board is fucked

>>30603705
Butt plugs aren't anthro

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Idea some any talented writefag to pick up:

>Anon hears stories from DadAnon about his globetrotting GrampAnon, about after WWII he took a trip around the world and all of the adventures he had
>He only told Anon about all of the light-hearted tales, saving the more "adult stories" until he was old enough to understand and appreciate them (Anon thought "adult" meant blood and gore)
>Unfortunately, DadAnon dies in a bus accident the day before he was to tell Anon those stories
>Going through his father's things, he finds a few of GrampAnon's journals
>They're rather cryptic: just a list of locations, dates, girl's names and a number, usually between 1 and 10
>He decides to use this, and the inheritance from his father, to retrace his grandfather's steps around the world

Use whatever characters you want, but if you need ideas:
>Trip starts in France - meet Fleur
>Swing through sub-Saharan Africa - meet Zecora
>Things get frisky during long boat ride to India - where you meet Saffron Masala
>Through a series of unfortunate events, you end up in Siberian Russia - meet Beatrix

>>30603817
> Beatrix
Didn't we agree on sestrichka Trixie? Or do you mean Anon goes around the world to fuck girls, who are result of his father's adventures?

>>30603817
Let's start with Siberia. And make it so that all the girls Anon happens to fuck coincidentally happen to be granddaughters of GrampAnon