Princess Applejack

1 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15714689/
2 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15809561/
3 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15905493/
4 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15993073/
5 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16130720/
6 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16246841/
7 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16379525/
8 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16501328/
9 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16610392/
10 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16662074/
11 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16772586/
12 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16868468/
13 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/16979374/
14 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17077404/
15 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17165620/
16 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17236861/
17 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17353012/
18 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17432909/
19 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17542878/
20 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17622856/
21 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17721007/
22 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17846420/
23 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17939772/
24 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18016936/
25 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18110396/
26 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18243130/
27 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18317690/
28 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18413021
29 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18481892
30 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18584132
30.5 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18593663/
31 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18666146/
32 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18726218/
33 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18808995/
34 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18917077/
35 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19037167/
36 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19139609/
37 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19224385/
38 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19310984/
39 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19418937/
40 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19541053/
41 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19662234/
42 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19775771/
43 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19893243/
44 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20044646/
45 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20179745/
46 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20296634/
47 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20365095/
48 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20453513/
49 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20580492/

50 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20667911/
51 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20740272/
52 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20855918/
53 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/20948915/
54 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21045744/
55 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21159397/
56 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21278151/
57 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21405993/
58 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21510114/
59 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21619890/
60 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21715642/
61 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21858107/
62 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/21945390/
63 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22007346/
64 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22086019/
65 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22152409/
66 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22223659/
67 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22274618/
68 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22337892/
69 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22395817/
70 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22458614/
71 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22571091/
72 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22651546/
73 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22736626/
74 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22828938/
75 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22908818/
76 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/22963669/
77 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23030892/
78 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23102420/
79 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23200765/
80 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23282365/
81 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23369224/
82 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23443675/
83 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23520799/
84 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23581564/
85 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23656624/
86 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23764354/
87 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23878745/
88 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/23973977/
89 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24059974/
90 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24160401/
91 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24245691/
92 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24333335/
93 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24423649/
94 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24476469/
95 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24523227/
96 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24574722/
97 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24626415/
98 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24690967/
99 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24759374/

100 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24814923/
101 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24894930/
102 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24958159/
103 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25046878/
104 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25132701/
105 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25222467/
106 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25301100/
107 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25385359/
108 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25460161/
109 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25529408/
110 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25616096/
111 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25673487/
112 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25717170/
113 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25779356/
114 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25832901/
115 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25893943/
116 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25941085/
117 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26008453/
118 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26066966/
119 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26124883/
120 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26194825/
121 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26278593/
122 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26346142/
123 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26411050/
124 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26477997/
125 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26540512/
126 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26606754/
127 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26679572/
128 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26739492/
129 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26795242/
130 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26851945/
130.5 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26904000/
131 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26966812
132 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27045491
133 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27091818
134 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27136045
135 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27192560
136 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27243315
137 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27268873
138: desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27308674/
139: desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27347570/
140 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27404496
141 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27463354
142 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27517724
143 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27582821
144 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27651717
145 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27704420
146 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27763205
147 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27830268

148 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27896537
149 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/27955074
150 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28017167
151 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28064187
152 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28127177
153 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28180968
154 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28243103
155 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28293360
156 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28341301
157 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28386655
158 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28430382
159 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28472625
160 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28516835
161 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28560027
162 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28606503
163 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28650085
164 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28699834
165 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28747378
166 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28791420
167 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28818925
168 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28856603
169 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28902515
170 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28949840
171 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28987322
172 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29025369
173 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29070987
173.2 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29108189
174 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29162287
175 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29162287
175.2 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29185553
176 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29235097
177 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29275841
178 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29308797
179 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29363056
180 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29409666
181 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29458805
182 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29495094
183 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29537691
184 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29577819
185 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29624525
186 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29659061
187 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29704614
188 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29740822
189 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29770759
190 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29807604

191 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29835770
192 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29860144
193 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29907314
194 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29945615
195 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/29996931
196 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30044917
197 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30098131
198 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30146913
199 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30195152
200 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30229782
201 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30297271
202 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30351950
203 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30405690
204 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30477858
205 desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30540414
Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack

Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:>>30540414

You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started? Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing

Are you interested in the dark side of these threads?
Check out our collection of NSFW stories here:
http://pastebin.com/u/NSFT_NotSafeForTwo_

And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!

>>30589196
First for 13!
New Keikaku!

>>30589203
>Entire point is nothing went as planned

How did you miss that!?

>>30589203
My first for Chrysalis will have to wait...

Best bug queen will reign.

>>30589209
>Best bug queen

You misspelled "CHITANIA"

>>30589215
I most certainly did not.

>>30589206
Well, the ateam she tried to save is still alive.

>Applejack
"Celestia"
~~~

>Tia? Gotta question.

"Can it wait? No, really, can it wait? Forever? And ever? I'd rather it waited forever and ever, my bated breath will surely be worth the anticipation! You're doing a public service keeping me on edge waiting, Applejack."

>S'okay, Ah've got other ways to keep you on yer' toes.

"It had better be a gun."

>Ya' wouldn't dodge it.

"Seems I've shown my hoof one too many times."

>Anyway, mah' question is, ya' know that castle in Everfree? Yer' old castle?

"Yeah? What about it?"

>Yeah, about that, why ain't it got any guards?

"Come again? It's a dilapidated castle."

>With crazy powerful spellbooks, a library of magical information, and ya' know, the tree of Harmony right beneath it.

"Ah. Point."

>And ya' know, iffin' you were looking for shelter on a cold night, then you'd reasonably go to it.

"I get it."

>But at least there ain't no books of dark magic inside of there-wwwaaiiiiiittt a minute!

"I get it!"

>Or heck, someone could just open fire on the tree of harmony, probably kill us all with the lack of good magic in the world. But Ah' guess you could just close the gate to the entrance-waaiiiiiitt a minute!

"I get it alright!"

>But at least nothing immediate would happen, like it would kill us all with plants. Oh, but Ah'm sure you in all your power could stop some-GASP!

"I GET IIIITTTTT!"

CRASH!

>Forgot we were in a hallway and not outside?

"I hate you."

File: 670951__safe_solo_pinkie+pie_clothes_upvotes+galore_looking+at+you_open+mouth_bipedal_dress_alternate+hairstyle.png (572KB, 1000x1094px) Image search: [Google]

572KB, 1000x1094px

Pinkie Preview Prophecies

>Bloomberg is doing well for himself in this universe.
>I see a red door and I want to paint it black.
>AUJack also has a habit of telling some very long winded stories.
>Does Rainbow Dash's carpets match the curtains?
>Twi asks Owlicious who's on first?
>The Crusaders discover the magic of lube.
>Special guest stars Chris Bucker and Jockey Chan.
>penetration fanservice!

>>30589303
Ha! But I just noticed no OOCO.

>>30589249
>13 just wants a happy christmas with Mom
>fucking Spike crashes it with A Team

>13 wants to stay out of fights
>fucking Spike shoots her Mom, forcing her to act

>13 tries to minimize casualties on both sides
>fucking Spike tried to nule the tower

>13 tries to run away to avoid an outburst
>7 corners her

>13 tries to just make him forget
>he nearly rips her head off

>13: "OK, you know that? Fuck these two gloryhounding shits and their constant need for ego-stroking."
>manipulates everyone so both Spike and 7 end up abandoned by their friends, disliked by their allies and denied their attention

>everything went according to Karate

>>30589321
>two gloryhounding

Whoooaaaa now, gotta defend worst bug here. He didn't corner her to prove anything, remember? He found her because what happened to Chitty messed him up a bit and he honestly was trying to apologize for everything going wrong. Hate him for fucking up yet again, fine, but he didn't find her to prove himself to the hive, he heard she was missing and tore off to try to talk to her.

>>30589321
>>13 tries to just make him forget
>>he nearly rips her head off

... but that ones her fault, he didn't want to try to rip her head off, she accidentally made him go Manticore mode.

I'm actually tying to think of anything he did really wrong this time besides going at it alone like an idiot again.

>>30589303
>Pennydrop
"Luna"
~~~

>...what the fuck was that!?

"Mine sister might be a masochist who enjoys hurting herself, this happens a lot."

>>30589348
Headpats. It's always... AAAALWAYS about Chrysalis' approval for him.

>>30589364
He went to see the daughter of the Changeling he got killed, even though she clearly wanted to be left alone. He could've watched her, or just left her be. But noooooooo....let's CONFRONT the emotionally frail girl directly after her loss... so you can make yourself feel better about what a selfish asshole you've been through APOLOGY. And then he wonders why she doesn't wat to hear it.

Fucking 7 has been clutching that idiot ball for damn long time now, and he refuses to let go.

>>30589402
>Headpats. It's always... AAAALWAYS about Chrysalis' approval for him

Normally I'd agree but in this particular case I'd chalk it up more to his severe issues with seeing others die. I might agree that would make this as much for him as her though.

>>30589303
Damn it! Now I'm going to have to drop a story idea I was going to work on...

>>30589402
>He could've watched her

... he did? 13 mindsenesed him, he didn't show himself till after that.

>just left her be

That seems self defeating when you're trying to keep the one who might be feeling a little resentful from doing something unfortunate and you wanted to make it clear that it wasn't the Queen or Hive who fucked up.

>And then he wonders why she doesn't wat to hear it.

What? He let her chew him out to her hearts content, he didn't have to force her to stay. She then slipped up and mentioned you know who.

>>30589445
I'm a monster.

>>30589448
If I remember right it's

>13 makes it out of town, does her mindamijiggerchigger, notices him, tells him to show himself.
>He does.
>She asks what he wants
>He tries to explain and apologize and not his intentions all that jazz.
>She's having none of that shit and essentially says "Fuck whatever your intentions were MY PARENTS ARE DEEAAADDD"!
>7 is just like "Oh right I'm shit." and doesn't stop her
>Keeps going and blames him for causing four dead in the building
>*HOLD IT!!!!*
>She's caught in a trap, mindzotz!
>Oh shit wait Buttercup STDS or something
>O, MY MANTICORE MIND
>13 gets chewed out(I JUST GOT IT!)
>Turns off mindzotz
>Accidentally turned off ALL mindzotz
>Here we are.

That said anyone claiming he's not a gloryhogging asshole racist is fooling themselves. He's just not being a gloryhog or asshole to 13, but he is still racist!

>>30589494
>O, MY MANTICORE MIND

I fucking hate you for making me laugh for such an overused meme

>>30589494
>but he is still racist!

That was a beautiful touch.

>>30589494
>O, MY MANTICORE MIND
I snorted on my chips, you fucker.

>>30589445
Was it fixing the castle?

>>30589829
More like raiding it... for things... for reasons.

>>30589916
The porno Stash of the grandest! The legends were true!

>>30590108
That would be funny, but not what I had planned, oh well... guess I can do without the castle's hidden treasures after all the big thing that I need is still free and unguarded.

... I just kind of realized something... a rather large plot hole and I'm trembling at the realization... and if I reveal it... I don't know what would happen... fuck.

>>30590804
Reveal it so we can fix it or not

>>30590823
NO! I MUST BECOME THE GUARDIAN OF THIS TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TRUTH! FORGIVE ME FOR TEASING ITS EXISTENCE BUT FOR THE GOOD OF THE THREAD I MUSTN'T DO IT! I LOVE YOU ALL! FORGIVE ME!

>>30590841
Well, okay, can you at least try to fix it? Or, well, let me know. Maybe I can make something amazing out of an oversight like that.

>>30590841
Part of me wants to know desperately what you've found, the other part of me is actually considering the validity of your actions. If what you know is as bad as you think it is, would keeping silent be the best choice? Hmmm... TELL US YOUR SECRETS!Please?

>>30590108
You just know they were into some Freaky shit!

NC
>FS
“???”
~~~

>And welcome everyone to another episode of Fantastically Finishing Friendships, Featuring Fluttershy. It’s during this time that content has no value, but money does!

“…what.”

>One airship with all the firepower, please

“How were you carrying several thousand bits with you?”

>Magic.

“…yeah, that makes sense.”

>Exactly. Now, can this weapon system blow up an entire acre of land?

“At least, why?”

>Just want to make sure I don’t miss anything.

“…You know there’s a waiting period, right?”

>And do you know the expression, time is money?

“…Have fun.”

>I plan to.

>>30591797
>Fantastically Finishing Friendships
>Finishing

Guess this will be the LNPP show's final season.

>>30591844
Considering she seems to be bringing hellfire to the others, and they're in HER studio..

>>30590841
>Everyone falling for it

Seriously?

I never understood what Applejack is Princess off. Is it apples?

>>30592316
Management and city economics, with a side gig in population control for immigrants.

>>30592386
>Not agriculture

Easily the funniest part of this thread

>>30592316
>that question
It's like I'm back in thread 1!

>>30592523
Quick! Say EqG isn't canon!

>Spike
~~~

>…My chest is itchy.

…

>My butt is sore.

…

>My head hurts

…

>I need to use the bathroom.

…

>I don’t need to use the bathroom anymore.

…

>….SAY SOMETHING!

“No.”

>AHHHHHH!

>>30592595
NO! SUNSET MUST EXIST! APPLEJACK WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DRIVE HER!

>>30592659
And by "drive" we mean "DRIVE"

>>30592659
>Nothing to fuck up

Fixed that for you.

>>30592523
I have just ignored this general for years

>>30592712
... no?

The fuck are you talking about? We actually freaked out when we saw A piece of Alicorn AJ porn, and it was just her standing there with a vagina.

>>30592750
To clarify, good freaked out, more "Holy shit now I've seen everything!" And a couple "we finally made it!" Jokes.

>>30592750
...whenwasthatalsosource

>>30592761
Here>>30592757

There was a lot of that.

>>30592766
Just search Applecorn, solo, -Safe, it's the only picture... I think.

>>30592786
...Both are good

>>30592786
I don't recall that at all.

OOCO
>SA
“AJ”
~???~
~~~

>Hey, applebutt. You hear anything good today?

“Ah’ heard you come in.”

>You card! Always put a smile on my face.

“Ya’ know it’s better when ya’ smile!’

>And boy do I love it!

“Dang straight! Sharin’ a smile makes the world go round! ”

>And what a way to spin!

“Yepper!”

>Woo!

“Yep!”

>…yay!

“Darn tootin’!”

>..

“…ahem. Ain’t ya’ got anything for me?”

>A smile?

“Don’t play that game.”

>…oh, shoot, did you want some candy apples too?

“…”

~~~LATER!~~~

~Shiny!? Why are you in my trashcan!?~

>This is where I belong, she said.

>hardly any fics about a physically and mentally tired Princess Applejack relaxing with a concubine.
>no one brings up any of these rights

>>30592922
We struggle to make Applejack a Real Mare

It's.... difficult

>>30592922
I think there's a drought of that because it doesn't seem like anything she would do, outside of OCC or NC or straight up lewd.

>>30592922
>Applejack
>With a concubine

>Celly
>Letting her little sister have one if she can't have one
>Letting ANY royal have one if her mom is going to keep shooting her with soap

HAH!

>>30592922
Actually, we still haven't even given her a stress relief masturbation fic

>>30592947
Yeah, little OOC there. I just can't imagine AJ going "Boy, ya know what Ah need right now? Some casual sex with someone who Ah' have literally hired for that purpose."

Or Celly going "You know what law needs to be on the books? I can hire a sex servant personally, even though I can't use it, and only royals. Hey everyone! You can get laid while I can't!"

>>30592967
Didn't we? Didn't some anon pen her getting off with a dildo or something like that?

>>30592967
Yes we have. NSF2 pastebin, the one where she uses a dildo.

>>30592976
Well, what exactly, legally, stands in the way of Celestia asking which of the Guard's had the biggest urge, and just going with him?

>>30592967
Applejack on a quest to find a suitable concubine could be more interesting than her rubbing her vag.

>>30592997
... new here?

Running joke since thread 1, if she gets too sexually excited she "overheats", if you catch my drift. Straight up nuclear crotch. When she tries to circumvent it, her mom(in heaven) literally shoots her with soap or otherwise prevents it from happening.

Faustmom ain't letting her get any until she's married.

>>30592998
As an NC thing sure, but with as far as she's come and what she's about, Applejack and the word concubine just don't gel naturally in this setting. Wouldn't mind reading that as an NC-type thing, though.

>>30593010
HER ASS MELTED 56'S FACE OFF.

>>30593012
If she'd wanted sex like that, she would've done it with Spike too. I mean, nothing was stopping her.

But if we're going that route, NC story of AUJ annexing the CE just so she can legally take Shiny as "spoils of war" when?

>>30593046
>If she'd wanted sex like that, she would've done it with Spike too. I mean, nothing was stopping her.
Exactly, which is why the idea of 'AJxConcubine' sounds foreign as fuck to me. She doesn't care about relief in that way.

>>30592978
>>30592984
OH THAT'S A GOODUN

>>30592984
Which thread was that?

>>30593123
No idea, LOONG time ago, but you don't have to search because the paste with it is here p>>30589196 on the bottom.

>Zephyrious
“Actarius”
‘JJ’
~~~~

>…sucking.

“Yep!”

‘Kinda!’

>You take out the love by… sucking.

“I mean I wouldn’t use that exact phrase, but then again I don’t have a better one. So, sure! Sucking.”

>Sucking.

‘I mean it’s more of an absorbing, orally.’

“Sometimes with hooves.”

‘We mix things up.’

>…

“He’s good at it!”

‘Only take my fair share!’

“And I’m okay with it.”

‘Never hear a complaint!’

“Never have one to give!”

‘Ha ha!’

>…

“You okay, buddy? You want another smoothy?”

>Please yes.

“Cool, I’ll get you a vanilla-“

>NO MORE VANILLA!

“Oh, sorry, did you not like that last one?”

‘It looked a little thin.’

“Spreading it too far after all they gave to you, I think.”

‘Yeah, we need to be more conservative with it, we can’t have sickly looking stuff for our new ambassador buddy!’

“Get ready to suck down some dark chocolate, then!”

>…ugghghghg….

>Pennydrop
“Celestia”
~~~

>…

“Are you alright in there?”

>YES!

“…”

>I’m seeing things.

“Things?”

>My world is very odd right now. I feel normal sized but very big and very small.

“…”

>I feel like this is as big as I’m supposed to be, but I also feel taller than anyone else, but also smaller than I should be.

“…’

>You know?

“…This is the first time I’ve ever understood you.

So no human exists in this universe?

>>30593552
Technically, no. EqG is canon, though. And there was this one bit in the earlier threads about a bunch of anthros and whatnot appearing out of the Everfree but going about their business.

>>30593560
>earlier threads about a bunch of anthros

No no, those were mothponies and batponies and what have you, it was a meta joke about all the 'strange waifu' threads that were popping up at the same time this thread started. It was kind of a tongue in cheek acknowledgement of them but that it wasn't bad, just was what it was. No anthros got mentioned at all, it was all "___ponies." and even then we just kind of forgot about it, so it's dubious canon at best.

And nothing technical about it, we even made a NC joke about anon appearing and promptly getting grendaded.

>SA
"Fluttershy"
~~~

>Can you teleport us to the front? I want to be in the front. I hate being in the back.

"Oh, I see, because you have to put up with me. I see how it is."

>That lead on doesn't work, you'd obviously be teleporting with me in this scenario.

"...Cadence said you were easier."

>That's not what she meant.

"Oh my."

>No my. Just because the salad is on the table doesn't mean she'll take it.

"Well, getting her pregnant must've been a challenge."

>Rare moments, Fluttershy, rare moments.

"..."

>...Too weird?

"Everything was just too weird, that's our lives now."

>Fair enough.

"...'

>...No teleport?

"Not unless you want your insides across the castle."

>No teleport it is.

>>30593588
Dodged a bullet there.

Will princess AJ ever meet Equestria's first human Chester, or Robin? Maybe even David?

>Pinkie
"Dash"
'Rarity'
~~

>So just for the record, you all do know I am like super behind on all this, right? You guys gave me like weeee little notes on this.

"Honestly? I'm pretty behind too."

'I think I'm rather farther along the line. It wouldn't do if I wasn't up to speed!'

>So then how did the surgery with Diamond Tiara go?

'...or perhaps not.'

"You meant Spike, right?'

>Did his surgery go better?

"...Several questions."

'Spikey-wikey got stabbed.'

"Knew that one, did not know it required surgery."

'It was a rather large wound. Diamond Tiara is new to me, though!'

>How? Twilight spent waaayyyy more time fixing her.

"Several questions!"

'Anyone else?'

>I don't think so, but then again I don't know a whole lot.

"Join the club!"

>OH OH! We could have a secret society! The mares who know nothing!

'Can we invite stallion?'

>...Rarity I just cannot with you today.

>>30594009
>Pinkies last line

Damn

>>30594040

>Rarity I cannot you thirsty bitch I just cannot someone has been stabbed and shot and comatose why are you even I just cannot even just stop just stop being Rarity for like two minutes I've had enough Rarity just stop for FUCKS SAKE.

'So I notice you didn't mention Dash-'

>I JUST CANNOT

>>30593674
These two are kinda growing on me, I like it!

>>30593388
~Luna~
~~~~

~Ha ha! We too know what that is like-~

"No you don't."

~...Well, not as thee does, but on occasion-~

"Doesn't happen."

~Well just a little-~

"Nope."

~LET US HAVE THIS!~

>Celestia
"Pennydrop"
'Luna'
~Applejack~
~~~~

>We're here... Everyone?

The crowd behind her paused just as they should, a single unifying stop sweeping through them as keen and sharp as any of her most trained guards.

>Thank you for following us, but I feel that we won't all be needed for this next. If I were all of you, I'd prepare for what's coming next, should it arise.

A feeling of uncertainty spread like a plague, twisting otherwise neutral or even relaxed features into something else, something far more worrisome.

Yet, like any plague would, it never seemed to touch the mare of metal. Even without the face visible to all, none of them assumed that the one inside held any worry. Her sudden snort and lackadaisical stance was enough to prove that.

"You sure you don't want your entire army? It'll be hard of you decide you need to... take measures."

Though some scoffed, some snarled, it simply rolled off the only mare who held that mechanical gaze like water on a fowl.

>I doubt I'll be needing that.

"Suit yourself..."

>Sister, I'll need you here. Twilight, you as well. Shining, this will effect the Empire, you should hear this. And, of course... Applejack.

The last name was spoken with such trepidation and restraint one would swear a gun was hidden just out of sight forcing her to say it. As the lunar mare and sibling pair swiftly moved towards the room waiting for them, each shooting a look back to their peer as she sluggishly followed behind them.

Both of said aforementioned 'she'.

>No, I just need... well, on second thought, I might as well bring you in too.

The mirror mare hadn't even hesitated in her walk, and somehow that brought one of the worst moments of irritation thus far. Considering her day, it spoke volumes with the simple sounds of hoofsteps.

'Must we, sister?'

>It'll be fine, she can answer-

'We meant... must we actually talk to her?

One would swear the machine had smiled.

1/3

>>30594908

"What's the matter, little pony? Afraid that I'm not quite as... vulnerable, as you were expecting?"

It should not have been possible to flex muscles of pure metal, yet that was exactly what seemed to happen with a hiss and whirr of machinery.

"For the record, I'm every bit as powerful now as I am in my full form, if you want a battle, well... it might not go so well."

The lunar mare scoffed, nearly ready to turn on her and challenge at once in full view for all to see. A swifter brushing of golden magic ushered her away before that could happen, forcing her to her distaste into the room. It wasn't long before the uncertain mare and stallion pair joined them.

"That's what I thought."

~Ya'll ain't exactly the sharpest plow in the field, are ya'?~

If the businessmare had taken offense as she watched the last two near identical of ponies enter the room, she hadn't shown it.

"Everyone! Thank you for being a wonderful audience! But alas, we must part. Don't worry, I'll be seeing you all very... very soon."

With another smile and a wave that felt insulting as it was lazed, the tallest of them positively skipped into the room held in waiting.

It took a long, deep, calming breath before the eldest and wisest of them could move inside as well, but before she did the last glance all saw on her face made them pause.

Something big was going to happen.

"My, how nostalgic! I remember this room!"

With reckless abandon for all etiquette, the machine stomped away, no longer even looking at the room filled with some of the most powerful and influential on the planet.

"This is where we had our little talk, isn't it, Celestia? It's wonderful to be back. Maybe I can rent this place out, everything just seems to go so... perfect in here."

2/3

>>30594911

A sigh escaped from breathless lips as she took it all in for a long moment. Only when she felt the upmost of satisfaction did she turn back around, and lazily gaze at the six.

"Alright, let's cut to it. I know what you want, and I'm ready to bargain. Did you want a mecha of your own? Mecha-Chitania is one of a kind, but I assure you that I've got such wonderful toys beside her. Worried about what I'm capable of? Well then, let's put a price on making sure nothing happens. I'm reasonable, I don't want a fight or conquest anymore than you do, so let's talk money here. How much are you willing to spend to make sure none of my wonderful toys ever, ever, find themselves used against you? Let's hear it, and I want a high number at the start. If you bullshit me I swear I'll walk out now, I've got nothing but time, money, and leverage. If those frowns on your face turn into something else, I'll make sure to show you exactly what I'm capable of, and as our dearly departed Chitania learned... it's quite a lot. So lets talk, you lay down a number... and I'll try not to laugh."

>She's not dead, and she's probably really, really pissed off.

The room went utterly, deathly, silent.

"................come again?"

>>30594920
FUCKING
DESTROYED

>>30594920
I bet Celestia was holding that one in so bad this whole time.

The look on her face mustve been priceless.

>>30594920
>and that's when Pennydrop shit herself

>>30594920
>Just comes out and says it

Also I get posturing but her making everyone walk with her seems weird now.

>>30594920
>INB4 Penny calls bullshit

>>30594997
Let's face it, he just wanted to give everyone a chance to have a conversation.

>>30595045
>That was our last chance for Main Six talk

NOOOOOOOO

Hey guys, I just came back from missing like 3 threads. Y/N has 007 gone nuclear yet?

>>30595130
Nope. He got mindzotzed by 13 in order to put him down, but TWIST, she put down all of his brain but the stuff he's been doing with the predators left some kind of 'imprint' on his mind, so when she zotzed him down she accidentally turned him into a straight up Manticore, mindwise and then he fwoooshed body wise.

So she gets her ass kicked for a bit via Manticore 7 and chewed out and then this happens! >>30588050

Have fun!

>>30595149
Holy shit. He didn't go NUCLEAR. He's GONE WIIIIIIILD

>>30595127
OOCO=FREEDOM

>>30594920
NC
"Why are you playing the pronoun game here? JUST TELL ME!"

CRASH

(OHHH YEAAHHHHH!)

"..."

>Her. I meant her.

"That's still the pronoun-"

SMASH

>>30595019
You know she's gonna.

No fucking way does she think it's honest.

>>30595127
>... we really need to hang out more.

"I swear if I don't get a fun time I will go on a shooting spree."

~Gasp! How could you!~

'Nobody even knows who's talking!'

>... or maybe not.

>>30595154
He's gone fucking brain dead now, that's what he's gone.

>>30594354
Fluttershy and Shiny have talked a LOT. Never really clicked tho.

Sort of like him and Dash or Rarity, those three just never hit it off with him.

>>30595925
Let me have this.

>>30593922
Pretty sure we won't buddy, we've done our best and prided ourselves about not having Anon or humans in general in the thread.

File: 1489335050487.jpg (133KB, 623x414px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 623x414px

>>30596341

>>30594920
CAPITALEEEEEEEEEEEEST

>>30593588
Well bat ponies exist for sure, moth ponies are the only one we're not solid about.

>>30597177
>No cute cuddly moth filly to play with Two.
Why live?

>>30594920
>Tries to go for straight up extortion and protection racketing the fucking entire nation
Jesus H what a cun-
>Gets shitter shattered right out of the gate
That's more like it

>>30597547
Because you never dreamed her.

Why didn't you dream her anon?

>>30597547
Ew, bug, someone step on it

>>30597600
>Tries to go for straight up extortion and protection racketing the fucking entire nation
It's all posturing, she knows she is fucked. Her board out right told her they won't fight their home nation, and if she start something they will abandon her. She's got to at least look confident, but she's not holding anything but a two in her hand. If they call her bluff she is ruined.

>>30598230
>It's all posturing, she knows she is fucked. Her board out right told her they won't fight their home nation, and if she start something they will abandon her.
You honestly took that story truthfully?

I only saw it as "Pennydrop is too powerful to lose to her business case going boomo, she longer needs their assistance" Cue the gas released from the snacks trolley

>>30598268
I think you're giving her too much credit, she just doesn't have that level yet.

>>30598364
>yet.
Hahahahahahahaa... oh, that made me laugh, but no.

>>30597989
Oh great, another guy mad the moths are taking all the... stuff... moths eat.

>Guard
“Guard 2”
~~~

>Everyone! Return to your homes!

“The giant robot means us no harm!”

>We think!

“Just go back to your lives!”

>There is a minimal chance she’s going to try to kill us all, at best!

“Mare-or stallion return home!”

>Leeeavveee!

“…”

>…so do you think-

“Ten to one we all die.”

>Those are low odds.

>Blueblood
“Arana”
‘PJ’
~Daw~
~~~

>…

“..”

‘…aw fuck.’

~This the guy?~

‘This is the guy.’

>Ahem. And what, exactly, are you all doing in the gunclub room with all these weapons?

‘LESBIAN! WE WERE BEING SO LESBIAN! IT WAS AWESOME!’

~What!?~

“I don’t know what that word means.”

>Is that so?

~N-~

CRUNCH!

~NNGGHH!~

‘It was hot!’

>Really? On the rug? As if! You’d be chafing yourselves terribly there, especially when there’s a table and a couch nearby? Nobody would choose the scratchy fur destroying threads of a carpet over the soft plush bounce-aider like a couch, NOBODY!

‘…’

~….~

“…Ohhhh, so they were bouncing? I like bouncing. Yeah, you can’t do that on a couch.”

‘...how did you-‘

>I was a rich thrillseeker with more money than sense for YEARS.

‘Ah. You have swiftly defeated me in knowledge there. Good show.’

~We know when we’re beat.~

‘We’ll just take our leave now, you can have the room.’

~It’s all yours! Use it well!~

‘Byeee-‘

>AHEM!

‘CHEESE IT!’

~ZIP ZO AND AWAY WE GO!~

ZOOM!

>COME BACK HERE WITH MY RIFLE!

“…I am so confused.”

>>30598834
>Aranas responses


So.
Damn.
Cute.

>>30598834
>“I don’t know what that word means.”

Take your mom, put Chitty in the room, ask her what her orientation was.

Bam.

>Pinkie
“Fluttershy”
~~~

>…the chocolate fudge!?

“I got to move up and I’m happy.”

>Why make us walk all that way if she’s just going to do that!?

“Because we all thought it was Chitania when we ran out and then just decided to follow them to make sure she wouldn’t pull anything. There’s really nothing to do now.”

>What a waste!

“It’s not really, we were going to fight a giant monster. We would have been super useful there.”

>GAHHHHH!

“Goh.”

>…You done with the thing? That’s my thing.

“Your thing is weak.”

>…I’m talking with Shiny now.

“We talked already.”

>YOU HUSSY!

“…me?”

>Shiny!

“You’re not wrong…”

>>30599068
~SA~
~~~~

~HEY! I AM NOT! I just am attracted to multiple partners and-okay you know what I’m not even one sentence in and I don’t need anymore.~

>Dash
“Rarity”
~~~

>Oh thank goodness.

“…”

>Er, not that I didn’t want to fight, I could totally kick her ass. We’re talking, right out the window and into a volcano.

“Of course.”

>One shot pop pop, you know what I mean?

“No question.”

>I would ruin her tin can, if I wanted to. But I don’t want to know, have to let her exposit and all that you know.

“Oh, it’s needed.”

>And let’s face it, I’m not going to show up all of you. Come on, the only non-powered mare besides Pinkie making you all look bad? I’m a better friend than that.

“And so loyal!”

>Damn right.

“…”

>…please don’t tell anyone I jumped when she looked at me.

“Why would I lie like that?”

>…heh.

>>30599421
Dawwwww.

Raridash still has a chance!

>>30599567
>Nobody did a Rairjack story before

It hurts

>Spitfire
“Cadence”
‘18’
~~~

>WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING HUSBAND!?

“I don’t have one of those. Or at least, I’d better not have one currently, I’m going to be rather upset if he did that while I’m not there.”

‘Heyo!’

>I swear if he doesn’t come back, I WILL STEAL HIS WIFE!

“…go ooonnnn.”

‘CADDY!’

“Not saying I’m for it or will accept it if she tries it, but if she’s gonna be froggy I want to see if she’ll jump.”

>I can carry you off!

“Okay, you need to better phrase things. I was getting all interested.”

‘In what!?’

>SHINY GET YOUR TONED ASS BACK HERE!

“It is toned, isn’t it?”

‘How did our conversation go here!?’

>>30599733
WHY

>>30599853
>WHY

Yes, anon, why.

We're judging you.

"But I can't write!"

NIGGA WE JUST HAD DASH BRAG FOR A BIT AND IT ENDED UP SWEET GET GUD

>>30599733
What are you talking about? We've had Rarijack stories before.

>>30599998
I think he means while they were walking side by side and talking in the group, everyone else was talking.

>>30599865
Fine, and I don't even like the pairing!
OOCO
>AJ
"Rarity"
~~~

>...Did ya'll intend to walk in here wearin' lingerie? Iffin' you did, Ah'... ah' have questions.

"And I have quite a lot of answers, each one more shocking than the last!"

>Oh, Ah' see, this here is a plan from Celly to make me lose mah' gaddang mind... interestin' approach, but Ah' do like her offbrand thinking. Iffin' she'd put this effort towards doin' work, well, she probably wouldn't have needed to hire me?

"I understood none of what you said, and that's just fine!"

>Nothin' in mah' world is fine.

"But darling, this is no ordinary lingerie!"

>Iffin' you say it's apple flavored... well, Ah'm not gonna run, but Ah' will start worryin' about what Ah'll put up with. This is revealin' a lot about me.

"This... is battle lingerie!"

>...Alright then, Applebloom apparently mixed up mushrooms with apples again. Not the first time, but Ah'm kinda disappointed that there caterpillar didn't come back. Ah' like that guy.

"Darling, don't you understand? It's meant to be worn in the bedroom!"

>As opposed to outside, where... actually iffin' Ah'm gonna get ogled, it's gonna happen. Ah'm bare ass naked most days save mah' hat. Wow, ain't had this much problem with learnin' since mah' teacher told me bout the bumblebears and the beebirds. Learnin' about dementia and strokes in the same day was pretty bad.

"Noo, in case of assassins! This way, if someone tries to take you out when you're most vulnerable, WHAMMO!"

With a FLINK! Blades appeared all over her body.

"He's not going to be heading back to any family reunion anytime soon!"

>...But then Ah' take it off.

"Hm?"

1/2

>>30600302


>Iffin' Ah'm in the bedroom wearin' that, Ah'd have to... ya' know, take it off.

"Well, I suppose. But until then!"

>How long exactly am Ah' gonna be wearin' that iffin' Ah' wanna look like that? Follow up question, won't this stab... you know, the pony Ah'm with in there? What if he cops a feel?

"Or she!"

>That ain't remotely the point. Those are, in case there's some confusion on the matter, those are the points that will stab ya' iffin' yer' XY or XX. Points that are stabbin' someone Ah' am apparently lookin' mah' feistiest for.

"Yes, but still! Isn't safety from assassins worth it?"

>You'd have ta' ask him-

"OR HER!"

>-when they got stabbed between the legs in what has to be the most confused they've ever been signal wise.

"Oh, fine, I suppose I got an idea and didn't think it through, sue me."

>Someone probably should.

"HMRPH!"

>...also, with that family reunion comment, were you implyin'-

"OH MY LOOK AT THE TIME GOTTA GO!"

With a SLAM the door shut.

>Wow, Ah' don't know what's worse, everythin' that just happened, or that Ah' probably would've asked her if that came in non-stabbin' form... Ah've got a lot more issues than Ah' wanted to deal with today.

>>30600308
Fuvking.

Glorious

>>30600308
Not bad, not bad at all.

>>30598560
Nectar? I feel like it's nectar.

NC
>SA
"Twilight"
~~~

>She's just been standing there for so long.

"Blank, I don't even think she's moving."

>Should we even be here?

"I feel useless, yeah."

>...How can we snap her out of it?

"Make out."

>What?

"I said be loud."

>Ohhhhhh.

"..."

>...we could do the other thing too.

"Maybe later."

>Changeling
"Changeling"
~~~

>Okay, has anyone actually seen the Queen?

"Do you think she abandoned us?"

>Oh come on! Like she would leave us. Where would she go? Really, what would she do? Preposterous!

"..."

>Yep.

"..."

>She ain't got nothing.

"..."

DISTANT RUMBLING!

>...

"..."

>Yep.

"..."

>...Crying corner?

"There's a three week waiting list."

>Ah. I better get in line.

>>30600308
>AJ
"Rarity"
'Pinkie'
~~~

SLAM!

"She thinks my ideas are good!"

>She thinks caramel on a balloon is good, ya' need ta' take her words with a pinch of sugar.

'You should take everything with a pinch of sugar!'

CHING!

>...

"...what was that?"

'What was what?'

>...Right. Anyway, Ah' don't really think her sayin' that you bein' full of knives in the sweet spots is any indication of sanity.

'Hey, I'm sweet like cookies made out of pure grain sugar!'

CHING!

>...

"Alright, what is that?"

'What is what?'

"That noise! What is that?"

'Rarity, you okay? Maybe you're a little drowsy. Try some of my super fruit and sweet punch, it's got a kick to keep you going!'

CHING!

>WHAT IS THAT!?

"Is... is your hair getting bigger?"

'No.'

>...

"..."

'...Hey, you guys want brownies?'

SLAM!

~THOU HAVE STOLEN WHAT IS MINE, LITTLE PINK ONE!~

'EEP!'

~GIVE US BACK OUR ADVERTISING DEAL!~

'I needed the bits!'

>Ya'll need ta' get the fuck outta mah' office.

>>30598834
>Arana is a fully grown adult, she's just short

>>30599567
I'd be down for that. Rarijack isn't taking off and Shiningjack is still neat.

>>30601473
>a fully grown, emotionally and mentally stunted adult

>>30601619
She's gotta be coming up to speed now, it's been YEARS.

I mean the lesbian joke is funny because honestly how often would she hear that, but still.

>>30601593
>Rarijack isn't taking off and Shiningjack is still neat.
It's not taking off because no one is following up on it. Shiningjack still makes me sick to my stomach.

>>30601729
>It's not taking off because no one is following up on it.

...right? Nobody is really taking it up, even when it's there and open.

>Shiningjack still makes me sick to my stomach.

Way overly violent reaction man, but you know how to counter it? I think you do.

>>30601729
>Shiningjack still makes me sick to my stomach.
You're pretty lucky, then. The only thing keeping me from going full metal jacket on that concept is that I like monogamy and Shiny is already stretched out across enough mares as is, plus wife and Flurry. If it weren't for those facts, ha.

>>30601729
>Shiningjack still makes me sick to my stomach.

Realtalk for a sec, does it really?

Look, I have fun with the concept, I like writing the two of them together and I just naturally gravitate towards a 'flirty' feel with them because I like writing it, but I'm don't want to seem like I'm antagonizing or pushing a ship, especially not in a thread like this with it's history! I'm not trying to force a pair down anyone's throat, I just like them together and think they work well as a duo, in comedy or otherwise.

I know others seem to like that concept and I've mostly gotten good reception with the stories, but if it's seriously causing a problem I'll try not to seem overly overt in the flirty bits, so long as I can keep doing comedy/feels with them. That fair enough? Don't go so far it couldn't be interpreted as platonic? I obviously can't speak for any other writer, but for me, that feels fair. Same?

>>30601948
Not that anon but I don't think you should restrict yourself based off a negative view such as 'this thing makes me sick to my stomach' because if that were the case, and if we were to start bending like that, Chrysalis, DT, Screwloose and a whole host of other characters and concepts would have been shifted and altered, and not for the good reasons that some of them should have been but merely because another didn't like it outright.

I could understand the claim if ShinyJack was interfering greatly with something pre-established or just threatening the overall feel of the story, but it's not. Just two friends hanging out in occasionally flirty situations.....pretty much like nearly every single other character group we have.

Just seems like one anon with a distaste for ShinyJack, and that's understandable, because we all dislike certain aspects of this great series, but we have to know when it's dislike for a legitimate reason and needs to be changed or just personal dislike.

>>30601983
Does it bother anyone else? Seriously asking.

>>30601744
Not that Anon, but...
>counter it
By writing against it (give AJ another love interest, write them explicitly as just friends, etc)? Because the only other way is to not write it.
>>30602350
It bothers me in so far as Shining Armor already has enough mares on his dick, but the platonic bits don't bother me. The weird sexual stuff on the other hand... Anyways, this guy >>30601983 has the right idea.

>>30602478
>Because the only other way is to not write it.
First off, that is not countering it, that is stopping it.

Second, the two examples you gave would be countering it, but have a low chance of success as they'd be transparent and likely unpopular as you described them, just giving her a love interest doesn't mean anyone would like the pairing you gave to her and doesn't mean anyone would sustain it and eventually it would just wither. You know, like a certain other interest ended up? The other one might work, but again, would it stop it? Have her say it all you want, they don't see each other romantically right now, doesn't mean it's sticking that way.

No, the only real answer is comedy, consistent interactions with your preferred ideal, and a whole lot of work. Don't counterintuitive in the combat way, make people love what you would prefer so much they want it to end that way. sorry, but it's the only truly effective method.

File: 1411862932880.gif (569KB, 162x152px) Image search: [Google]

569KB, 162x152px

>>30596442
>"FuuuUCKING FLLLLLAAAAAAKE!"

YOU FUCKERS LIED TO ME, I FUCKING CALLED HE, HE DID GO NUCLEAR IN HIS LAST SANE MOMENTS

>>30602654
*called it

Gooodnight, thread

>>30602967
G'Night Spool

>>30604073
Ew

>>30604073
I knew we'd get one of her eventually!

>>30604073
A fuckingdorable!

>>30604076
...that speed is impressive, if nothing else.

>>30604076
>And thus the newbie(?) sealed his fate.

>>30601948
>>30602350
I am with ( >>30601729 ). I can't stand every single mare going all 'Oh wow, I'd be so down to fuck if he asked' concerning Shining Armor.

It makes me feel really uncomfortable for various reasons, one of them being that I really and strongly believe in monogamous relationships, the other that I know that friendships between males and females can function perfectly even without constatly waggling your eyebrows at each other like horny teengers.

I objected to the Chrysalis coming onto him, I argued against 18 butting in, I was sad 42 acts like a 14 year old with a crush around him and now, Spitfire and Applejack seem to be on his 'To Do' list.

I don't like it, I try not to let it bother me, but with everyone wanting to force thwir peculiar pairing/harem and Shining being one of VERY few eligible males used, it really does...

>>30604073
HHHNNNGGGGGG!

>>30604265
Introduce Braeburn into the mane story line then, we can make him a chick magnet... or a dick magnet or both! We can have him be the Captain Jack of /pa/.

>>30604073
I just realized how utterly MASSIVE her hair must be in this situation. We're talking Chitty would tell her to get a trim.

>>30604073
Never fails to put a smile on my face, thank you.

>>30604073
>>30604341
It's the simple things, isn't it?

>>30604073
First off, Two was MADE for that style. Second

>>30604265
>Shining being one of VERY few eligible males used,

Let's face it, that's why. There's NOBODY ELSE we could use! We tried Spike for YEARS, and it fizzled out. At least with Shining people want to write him. Seriously, name ONE other male( non-OC character we could use.

Or rather ONE other character people WOULD use. I'd rather Shiningjack all day every day than a pairing that doesn't go anywhere because people won't write it.

Harem end confirmed, if they write it.

>>30604435
>Harem end confirmed
Not for AJ it won't be. I'm with monogamy-anon up there on that one, and if there's one mare that would be all for that or nothing it's our rustic apple princess.

>>30604447
>Not for AJ it won't be.

I disagree! But we shall see where the writing goes!

>>30604265
>the other that I know that friendships between males and females can function perfectly even without constatly waggling your eyebrows at each other like horny teengers.

That's a weak excuse, saying "why can't boys and girls just be friends!" Ignores every story point going just to make some kind of obvious statement that doesn't even apply most of the time. Of course they could be just friends, but the bigger story cares more about simple tropes and observations. Pointing out "main guy and girl always get together!" Isn't blowing any minds, and since they've been friends for over 200 threads this wouldn't either.

Story matters more than "gosh, other media does this all the time!"

>>30604497
Thank you!

God I'm sick of that every time. It never makes sense and ignores literally 90% of the story because one or two scenes, and often 90% of characters! There's usually a side girl who gets paired up with a tech guy or something in action movies, and she's usually friends with the hero too!

But because there is one character who isn't just a friend, they don't count.

>>30604447
>and if there's one mare that would be all for that or nothing

I disagree, and here's why.

Spike Breakup, specifically the beginning.

>>30604073
INTO THE WIKI IT GOES!

>>30604497
>,but the bigger story cares more about simple tropes and observations.
The bigger story isn't Applejack making constant sexjokes. The main story isn't 18 and Chrysalis drooling over Shining's dick in every other conversation. The main story isn't 42 having anime style nosebleeds.

The bigger story is Spitfire saying Work Before Relationship. The bigger story ia Caddy going 'You know what? I kow my husband attracts mares. At this point, I accept it. Now leae me alone, I'm having a baby.' The bigger story is Chrysalis being auch a massie weirdo that she is inable to make many new friends, so Shining remains the olnly relevant male in her life.

>>30604518
Your argument makes no sense to me, sorry.

I never argued about against some of the innuendo and FRRRRIIIIIIENDS moments. I argue about people wanting to smack wveryone into one big harem pile, as if spending time with someone always has to wnd up with plowing each other or 'hooking up'. Relationshipa are morw complex than that, and forcing sexual attraczion into the mix later on makes it look cheap and, let's be honest, immaturw on the writer's part.


Pointing out "main guy and girl always get together!" Isn't blowing any minds, and since they've been friends for over 200 threads this wouldn't either.
>Story matters more than "gosh, other media does this all the time!"

>>30604667
Shush you, the anon's need their self insert and they will not be denied it!

>>30604544
Isn't that in favor of the other argument? In the beginning, it was just those two, and yeah, they broke up but still, it was just those two. Unless you meant that some other way...?

>>30604667
>that she is inable to make many new friends, so Shining remains the olnly relevant male in her life.
I swear this annoys me so damn much, and having you mention it just annoys me further. And to be honest, I'm hesitant to try and remedy that situation because everyone seems so gung-ho on her riding Shiny's dick into the sunset.

>>30604739
I get you... sometimes it feels like everyone is immensely dependant on Shining Armor, as if they weren't their own person/pony/Ling.

Brief writer's talk here:
If you or someone else were to write Chrysalis making menw friends like that, who would you have in mind?

>>30604667
>if spending time with someone always has to wnd up with plowing each other or 'hooking up'.

That. That specifically is the problem.

It's such a dumb argument to make because it's saying "not everyone HAS to do this!" And then ignoring everybody else where it's not happening just to pretend this example disproves the others existence. It makes no damn sense! Of course you don't have a problem with FRIEEENNNDDSSS, but you having a problem with another development in story because "Gosh, can't they JUST be friends? Like that never happens!" Is nonsensical. Worse, you bring up examples of where the story matters with the others, but then outright ignore Applejack during the breakup mini asking
>Why don't I have that in my life? Why isn't my romance special like that? Is something missing?

And then breaking up with Spike because YEA, something is missing. She wants romance and love in her life, and she wants it like the ones she saw in that room.

Of course her romance is part of the bigger story, and no, her hooking up with someone wouldn't inexplicably mean that it's implying nobody can just be friends and will for sure become lovers. Come on.

And Chrysalis is friends with all the main six now.

>>30604704
I meant that was the moment AJ realized she wanted a real relationship in her life with love and all that, and she realized she was jealous of someone with way more than one partner having way more than her on an individual level, she had no issues with the polygonal relationship, just that she wanted something like that in her life.

>>30604800
... actually you bring up a good point, we never followed up on that. She organically came to the conclusion Spike wasn't fulfilling her, romantically, but then we never like, had her go date anyone else.

We could probably explore that.

>>30604667
>Relationshipa are morw complex than that, and forcing sexual attraczion into the mix later on makes it look cheap and, let's be honest, immaturw on the writer's part

God I'm going to plow through the spelling here and point out that no, them developing feelings later after a great many events and interactions and learning from each other is less cheap than the sudden and undeveloped love at first sight or instantly, and it's actually more mature and developed to examine them both as characters before seeing if they're compatible.

You are 360% backwards.

>>30604840
But who?
Rarity?

>>30604844
Deleted a huge counterpoint. You know what? Let's just write it.

>>30604840
Writer snafu, I'm afraid. The Rarijack crowd rose up and said "Yes! She's free! Let's develop this!" And they said it loudly, so everyone except the Shiningjack guys backed off and let them have space to write. Then it didn't come, and it kept not coming, so we kept waiting, then we had Fall of Evo and we outright forgot about it.

Pretty much Rairjack guys called dibs but then didn't pick up the tabs, Shiningjack guys kept making sillies, and here we are.

>>30604849
That pairing is kinda how we got into this mess and frankly this whole debate, the only reason it's an issue is the SJ guys kept pumping them out and now everyone is worried it'll become canon due to zero opposition. We literally have had more stories of AJ and Rarity in a Spy Vs Spy over Spikes thick hot dragon meat than we ever had them actually developing anything.

>>30604857
>Let's just write it.

Always the best response.

>>30604073
Lost in debate, there is a HHNNNBGGG

IT IS A GOOD PAIN

>>30604889
To be fair, let's be honest, it not Ratity than who? I don't mean that any pairing couldn't happen, I'm asking who else we the audience would want. Who else could we play around with? Take Shining out and put him in the soft spot behind the barn, put Rarity in the Cuckquean shed, who else would we like to see?

>>30604667
>The bigger story is Chrysalis being auch a massie weirdo that she is inable to make many new friends, so Shining remains the olnly relevant male in her life.

She makes friends all the time tho, it's like 90% of her development post Arm-Break. We just don't have her make friends with non-royals because she still thinks herself too high for them. Which might be interesting to look at, keep it in mind.

Though I don't know what>>30604798 is talking about, the last three arcs Chrysalis was a major player in were, in order, Diplomacy meeting, CE Invasion, and Hellfire.

There was a pony who was a major player in all those with her who her feeling majorly developed for and developed with, but it sure wasn't Shining!

Because after CEVs robots, Gala, Chitania rises, Cordyceps, Arm-Break, Hearths Warming, Field Trip and Beach Arc, we needed a break from the near endless character development with Shining, and actually needed to make Cadence love her too. Seriously, we spent more than half the threads entire life just making Shining and Chrysalis love each other, then we did 3 major arcs dedicated to having Cadence love her too, it's fucking nuts.

>Cadence
“Spitfire”
‘18’
~~~

>Should we send someone go to see?

“EIGHTEEN! You go check and see if Shining is okay!”

‘What? Why me?’

“You’re expendable!”

‘Hey! That… uh…’

“Did the room just get super dark?”

‘Uh…’

“No, seriously, everything just got darker and… is that thunder?”

‘Uhhhhhhh…’

“I also feel cold for some reason, we really should turn the heat up. Eighteen? Could you get that?”

‘Don’t you want me to go… check?’

“Wha? I was just kidding, obviously.”

‘Oh.. ha ha?’

“Fine, my humors not the greatest, but It was a joke… oh hey! The light turned back on, we might need you to go see that. But don’t go too far, you know I don’t want you to go anywhere.”

‘Awww.’

“Who else would I use for a meatshield!”

‘…’

“Ha ha! Joke, it’s a… why is my nose bleeding?”

>No reason.

“…”

‘…’

>Take standup lessons.

“Yes ma’am.”

>>30605196
Dawwwww.

>77
“Cheerliee”
~~

>Wow, I feel ignored.

“Does kind of seem like we just ceased to be for a little bit there, didn’t we?”

>I feel like Seven is more important. SEVEN. He’s half the changeling I am!

“Literally!”

>Bah, they just don’t know greatness when they see it.

“Too true!”

>I’m important.

“Right!”

>Which is why I’m going to take my bear deputy and go check and make sure there’s nothing in the road for the parade!

“…”

>It could give someone tetanus, and that’s dangerous.

“…”

>I’m important.

“Of… of course honey.”

>…I have a knife.

“It’s very neat.”

>>30605196
OOCO
>SA
“AJ”
~~~

>NO! You absolutely cannot.

“It’s too late, Shining… Ah’ve joined the soft sci-fi side.”

>NOOOOOO! You just don’t understand the joys of hard sci-fi like Hyperspace Hyperwars! You just need to see!

“Nope. Like me some space magic.”

>THIS IS THE WORST THING EVER-

CRACK!

>GAH!

“HOLY SHIT SHE BROKE THROUGH… EVERYTHING!”

~What the fuck is wrong with the two of you you’re the rulers of countries you rule countries and you’re not even doing anything serious when you see each other all the time FUCKING DO SOMETHING!~

KCARC

“…l-love you too, honey.”

>Ah’ think Ah’m gonna get to work.

“Yeah I got things to do.”

>…

“…Space Battles rules-“

W̢̱O̻̦̮̠̹R̡̺͚Ḳ̴̝̺̻̬̟͓

“Ah’m working!”

>>30605648
The funniest thing about that was the backwards 'crack', laughed harder than I should have.

>>30605702
I loved the little baby stroller in the second to last line. Seriously look at it, it's the only symbol under the R

>Spike
~~~~

>….WHERE ARE YOUUUUU!?

….

>…

…

>…Am I still dreaming?

“Noope.”

>FUCK OFF

>Actarius
“JJ”
‘Zephyrious’
~~~

>Was that just screaming?

“And thumping?’

>Is it Tuesday already?

‘Is… is there usually screaming and thumping on that day.’

>It happens every day!

“But it goes hard on that day!”

‘…’

>Like, really hard.

“Shakes the whole castle.”

‘…’

>It’s fun.

‘…I’m learning so much.’

>Glad we can help!

>>30605648
>SA
"AJ"
~???~
~~~

>Hey, Aj? Have you noticed anything... weird with my wife recently?

"..."

~I CAN EAT THE SOUL OF CAKE.~

"...Is it low fat?"

~MORE IMPORTANT, LOW SUGAR!~

"Bah, she's just on onna them health trends. What a silly mare!"

>...

~GIVE ME YOUR SOUL COOKIE!~

SOUND OF BABY KITTENS GRINDING.

>...

"Dang snooty canties!"

OOCO
"Rarity"
>AJ

"No"

>Yes

"I don't want to"

>I do want to

"You're not going to convince me"

>I'll do mah damndest to

"They're not going to like it"

>Well that's they're loss

"You're not helping"

>...I'll try regardless

"...You really think me, going to talk to those interviewers will actually do me any good?"

>It's worth a shot

"But they don't trust us, not anymore"

>Rarity, we can make them trust us, we just gotta get through to them

"I'm the worst to them..."

>Nah, you're not

"You're just saying that"

>But it's true

"...Alright, and no dozing off mid question"

>Aw geeze, it was once!

"You didn't look at the papers for a month"

>He jess' got a lucky pic in, it wasn't important t' look at

"...?"

>Ok, let's go, ready?

"Ready"

>>30606324
(Celestia)
~~

(...go onnnnnn-)

>CELLY NO!

File: 3__2__1___by_scootiebloom-d9fajye.png (1MB, 1421x1000px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1421x1000px

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[RD]
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but we're already here so why not?!

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one.'

>And I'm the crazy one!

>"'Now for our main guest...RAINBOW DASH!!!'"

Rainbow Dash lays on the couch.
[I'm glad we decided to record anyway. Thanks for having me.]

>Of course! What are friends for?

"Won't Fluttershy be a little mad that we're using her recording equipment?"

'Especially on top of the couch we had to replace?'

>Oh, don't be silly. We're friends! Friends borrow stuff from each other.

"'True.'"

>Anyway, if you had a show what would it be about?

[Ugh, I don't know. I figured somepony would just approach me and ask if I'd want to star in a show. But nope, nothing!]

"Have you tried pitching any ideas to some producers?"

'Heck, our producer will pretty much allow any crummy idea happen. I mean look at Pinkie. Who'd make a show that allows her to banter?'

>Hey, you're here too.

"We have Stockhorse syndrome. <3"

[I...can't think of anything to pitch.]

'Not our problem.'

[Maybe if I-]

>That's all the time we have, but we'll see you all next time!

[Whoa, this couch has a built in massage?!]

>>30606645
>Stockhorse

...You bastard.

You clever, evil bastard.

>>30606399
Thought you lot wanted rarijack

>>30606931
They did? I mean it's a nice start, but I'm not sure what the joke is, like you shifted who was chiding who(AJ wants Rarity to do the interviews, but then Rarity chides AJ not to fall asleep during interviews, then she mentions something about not looking at papers for a month which gets a luck pic in?), but I see what you were going for over all and it's decent.

Good effort and keep trying, it's not a perfect start but it absolutely is a start, and if you keep making it comedy you'll definitely get more interest even if the responses aren't immediate. Do NOT assume lack of reply=lack of interest.

>AB
"SB"
'SL'
(Grand Pear)
~Dread Knight~
{Winona}
~~~~~

>ARE YOU KIDDIN' ME!?

~I REGRET NOTHING!~

They could only barely hear the Knight through the combination of rushing winds, loud clanging, and their own very justified screams as they hurled down into a seemingly endless chasm. Despite this, and the fact that the end of the road would very likely render the entire act moot, the black armored knight continued to battle his canine foe mid fall, clashing into her and grinding their weapons against one another as they fell towards their almost certain doom.

"WHAT THE BUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE CUTE, NOW I JUST SEE YOU'RE STRAIGHT UP KOOKADOOKY!"

~When am I ever going to get a chance to do this again!?~

Both fillies had to pause at that, despite the fact that they really should be screaming. After a minute of thinking and loud clangs as the knight clashed again and again in sheer freefall, both of them gave up.

>...He's got a point!

"I mean if we're going to get splattered this isn't a bad sight to see!"

>Ah' mean, it's a pretty cool image!

"Look at them go!"

And go they did, blade against giant stalactite in the middle of a fall, burning with the sheer desire to see their foe vanquished.

>It's pretty good!

(ARE YOU ALL INSANE!? WE"RE GOING TO DIE! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIEEEEEE AHHHHHHH!)

The elder looked read to have a heart attack. Nobody was sure if that was a good thing or not.

>Ah'm just sayin'!

"Look!"

Sparks lit up that dark cave as they clashed again.

>It's cool, right Scoots?

'Boing.'

"Scoots likes it too!"

>Make it a good shot!

~VERY WELL! My foe, if this is to be the end, then you shall be ended before me! I shall not let you see the end of this fall!~

{ARF!}

~R-...really?~

{Arf.}

~...It does not!~

{Arf.}

~I'LL KILL YOUUUU!~

He lifted his stalactite, preparing to end her with one unstoppable swing.

~...oh.~

1/3

>>30606931
Seriously
this >>30606957
>Do NOT assume lack of reply=lack of interest.

I can't tell you the many times I freaked myself out that I didn't get a reply on a story.
Like "N-no one laughed?"
Or my favorite conclusion.
"Oh shit I'm a hack! I knew it! I fucking knew it! It's over! It's all over!"

It's a strange delusion I suffer when writing.

>>30607039

Only to promptly lose her as his much heavier body fell ever so slightly faster, and without his weight to hold her down she slipped above him as they both fell.

{ARF!}

~COME BACK HERE!~

After a few futile swings, both had to accept neither could reach the other.

~...This is the most disappointing moment of my life.~

"OH COME ON!"

>Great, we get ta' see the lamest thing ever before we die.

"Now I want to die just to not have to live in the same world as this."

(ARE YOU INSANE!?)

>Ah' mean, probably.

"By the way? I appreciate the hugs, but uh... we've been falling a long time, don't think it's gonna help."

(AHHHHHHHHH!)

"Screaming won't help either."

>Hey! If he wants ta' scream, let him scream. Be nice!

"Fiiiine. Scoots? Wanna scream?"

'Here it comes...'

"She says no. Mister Knight? Wanna float this way and do something before we splat?"

The armored head shifted over to the cart nearly at his side. After a moment of realizing that somehow he was falling at approximately the speed of a massive cart full of ponies and a resolve to stick to his diet a little better, it hit him what the filly had said.

~...now, when you say 'something'...~

"Well, I've got a lot of pear jam, and it's really smooth, right?"

(AHHHH...)

A long, long pause followed before the elder went back to what he was doing.

(AHHHHHHHH!)

~I suppose it is... lubricanty. But what do you mean-~

{ARF!}

~Hey! She said it!~

>She didn't say lube. Ya'll did. Trust us, we know the difference!

"It's magical!"

~...So if I go over there, you'll-~

'Here we go.'

~CURSE YOU FILLY! Do not cease my words, I've only a second before-~

'Boing.'

~SP-boing?~

BOIINNINGNGG.

2/3

>>30607048

Several minutes later, for nothing shorter could have let the group process what had just happened, or the fact they were most certainly not splatted across a chasm floor. Instead, they were atop thin white lines suspended in pitch black darkness, with only the fainted light from above able to reach them. Though the ones on the cart were free, after a second of struggling it became apparent that both knight and warrior canine most certainly were not.

>...

"..."

'...'

(...I have several questions.)

His answer came with a sudden clicking noise, a hiss from the darkness all around him and an almost melodic sound with every movement of those white lines as something very, very big moved across them.

(Far less questions.)

Red eyes shined in the darkness, and the screaming started again.

>>30607053
>Battling down a giant chasm
>Ending up in a spider web

FUCK WE WENT FULL LOTR

>>30607053
>Applebloom almost died a bunch again

AJ is worst sister.

>>30607053
Fuck, I'm loving these guys. Dread Knight is the best new character.

>>30606957
>it's not a perfect start but it absolutely is a start,

Like I said a bunch, AJ/Shiny stories are VERY hit and miss, but so long as they keep at it, they keep getting attention.

>>30607164
His interactions with Winona are top-teir, I have to admit. When this next Oddessy ends, I hope he joins the cast, he'd be a fucking treat to write for.

>Screwloose
“12”
____

>Pervert. Remind me one more time, just… once more. What exactly is our job description here?

“Welp, as far as I know, we take the scrapes of machine and other such stuff that Princess Twilight doesn’t need and we break it down into manageable pieces; basically, we take hunks of stuff and make chunks.”

>The Hunk and Chunk.

“Sounds business card ready to me.”

>We’re glorified garbage ponies.

“And bug.”

>Annnnd bug, yes, pardon me. This right here has me all kinds of fucked up right now, feel like I'm about to flip my wig-

“Is your mane actually a-”

>There’s only one way you’ll be tugging on my mane to find that out and, surprisingly, I am in no mood for that right now. I’m busy thinking of alllll the glorious ways Princess Purple McIncest is going to shove her horn up our asses for this mess.

“...Think she’ll be gentle?”

>Gentle? Did you know she once converted a regular stallion into a cyborg? Yeah, well, now you do. Meaning first, being the thorough loon she is, she had to perform a shit-ton of prep experiments on the poor thing to see what was and wasn't compatible. Now, you tell me, does that sound gentle?

“Sounds like something you would do, honestly.”

>You wound me, mein pervertieren. I may have accidentally fused some of my sensibilities with that of a canine, but that's merely insane. Not cruel.

"Sliding past all the times you've used me as a guinea pig-"

>Pure love!

"-was she ever punished for that, by the way?”

>Insofar as I know, nah. I mean, she's clearly still walking around free, right? Probably just suffered a little inner guilt and turmoil mixed with some wibble-lipped self-reflection.

“Seems to be the standard protocol around here for fuck ups I’ve noticed.”

>She also set that terrifyingly big bug free.

“Big bug...? Oh, you mean Titan Queen Chitania?”

1/?

>>30607612

>I refuse to use that bug’s name. I’m still in my own blissful denial about how fuckhuge it can get and don’t want to validate that fear by giving it a name thereby making it seem like a more corporeal thing. …But yes, her.

“Daaaamn, and I thought I failed at jobs. I thought the main goal was to stop changelings from-”

>It is. Rather, was, back in the more separatist days. But, hey, for science and all that jazz. At least on that level, I can understand her motives.

“Lemme guess… immense regret and self-angst with a promise to do better and make things right?”

>That and I think she had some sort of mental breakdown, not really sure, but yeah, basically that. I do believe the onus is now on the earth pony traitor princess to fix things, something about a sun something… I don’t really get to eavesdrop on the servants around the castle but I can only assume that Faust-awful scream we heard earlier is tied to it in some way.

“Princess Celestia has a nice set of lungs.”

>Not to mention less control over her subordinates than should legally be allowed when you look at all the chaos they’ve caused. If they weren’t the elements of harmony, I’d swear they were on Discord’s side most of the time.

“Speaking of, you should talk to him sometime.”

>HA! Why on Equestria would I do that? Do you want to see me get turned into a mouse? Is that a fetish of yours, rodent play?

“More transformation play if anything.”

>…Heh, transformation play… because Changeling. I’ll give you that one.

“Thanks, but seriously. You say you want to take out the Titan Queen, right? Maybe he can help.”

>You’re right. He can help turn me into a mouse so that big ass bug can step on me.

“…fixated on that mouse thing, aren’t y-”

>I get a seriously nauseating case of fee-fi-fo-fum fever going when I think of that thing.

“I can see that. What about concerning THIS thing?”

2/?

>>30607623

Twelve indicated with a none-too-troubled head nod toward the colossal mass of struggling, screeching, and grinding metal before them, the unholy amalgam of nearly all the scrapes and junk they had been tasked with sorting, all of it joined together into a beast that had already consumed two of their co-workers.

There was no discernible head, no discernible anything actually, only a pulsing, clearly breathing obstruction that heaved with an ominous vigor despite the lack of lungs. From the ceiling to the floor it stretched, nearly occupying half the room with its girth, and Screwloose had to incline her head to take it all in.

>Concerning this thing…?

This unholy thing that had been cobbled together thanks to an over-excited burst of magic from Gaffer, who, along with 8-Bit had already been assimilated, snatched in kicking and screaming by one of its many lashing wires.

>…Mmmmnah.

And that was mostly because while she saw the Titan Queen as literal nightmare fuel, this right there… this thing snarling without a mouth, keeping watch on them without eyes, and giving off every indicator that if they tried to run it would cleave them in half…

>This is just a boss, like from a game. Just… fuck, I’m not even magically inclined—yet—and even I know that you need to be grounded with some sort of clarity to fire off a mind blast… hence why I told that jackass NOT to use magic to clean this shit up. He came in too excited about that nerdy game of theirs, whatever it’s called-

“Oubliettes & Ogres.”

>…How-

“…I may have sat in on a game. Or two. Or ten….”

>…

“…Painting the figurines is fun, don’t judge me.”

3/?

>>30607638

There was nothing but criticism in Screwloose’s eyes, raw and unfiltered, but she said nothing of it, choosing instead to point at the set of glowing numbers above what could be considered the monsters’ ‘head’. It was the first thing that had popped up when Gaffer’s magic backfired and transformed their meticulously separated piles and bundles into that monolithic mass.

>Then you know those are hit points, that large ass quadruple digit number… meaning we’re going to have to whittle that down to zero while trying to save the two chucklefucks caught in that tangle of metal death while simultaneously keeping this entire thing a secret from Twilight and making sure it doesn’t try to leave the room.

A tired sigh left the manic mare at the end of her laundry list of tasks, and she just barely registered the sickly green hue of magic convulsing around Twelve’s figure, swirling and pulsing, gathering up the length of his jagged horn.

>Pervert…? What’re you-

She never saw him fire it. She only felt the air crackle and blow her mane about, followed by a roar of rage-fueled agony when a sizable chunk was blown in the monsters’ metal chassis.

The numbers hovering above it dipped by at least six hundred, and Screwloose blinked.

“Alrighty then, one-sixth of the way there. This shouldn’t be so hard.”

>…

“And I don’t think we have to worry about it trying to escape. If this rust bucket is a 'boss' then, following basic game logic, if we don’t leave this room then it should stay right there until we kill it. Orrrr it kills us, either w-”

He never saw her draw it. He only registered the fact that Screwloose had purposefully moved to stand in front of him, using the double-edged scalpel in her hoof to deflect a torrent of hot metal unleashed by a single wave of that monsters tangle of wires; each piece of shrapnel pinged off in a different direction, skating over his chitin with a searing sting.

4/?

>>30607647

It wasn’t until the last lug nut bounced to the ground that Screwloose smirked, ignored the pain that trembled throughout her hoof.

>Haaaaaa… so… you feel like trying that again, you rusty pile of tetanus infected metal? Gonna have to come better than that to us down!

“Please don’t antagonize the metal death machine, Screws. Not only is that very counter-productive to our continued living, I’m pretty sure this thing is turn-based. It’s not going to attack unless we do. And second, you realize you just saved my life, right?”

>I do, just like I hope YOU realize you’re acting surprised over something I’ve done at least three times now. You’re my pervert, emphasis on ‘my’. The only way you’re dying is of old age or by an experiment gone horribly wrong.

“…”

>So basically you could either live long as fuck or die by noon tomorrow, it’s a mixed bag with me.

“I… am surprisingly more okay with those options than I mentally should be.”

>Figured you'd be. So are you mentally prepared to help me take this thing down?

“Hey, for glory.”

>For hooves.

“For SEXY hooves.”

>Ha, damn straight.

5/5

>>30607657
>Screwloose and 12 in a bossbattle against a magic fuckup.

I like it! But uh, kinda conflicting things up there. You both had her hear something no servant should have heard(a mention of a 'sun thing', which was only ever spoken behind soundproof bubble), and then also just had her act like Chitty's alive... so is she up to date or is she not? If she's up to date she doesn't know Chitty is alive, if she's not she's not hearing that scream. Which is it damn you, pick a lane!

>>30607623
>I do believe the onus is now on the earth pony traitor princess to fix things, something about a sun something… I don’t really get to eavesdrop on the servants around the castle but I can only assume that Faust-awful scream we heard earlier is tied to it in some way.
>“Princess Celestia has a nice set of lungs.”

>You say you want to take out the Titan Queen, right? Maybe he can help.”

I'm confused as to where this is on the timeline or what exactly she knows. This is completely conflicting information on what has happened. Is she in the future? Is this future?

Other than that I'm down with crazy ass magic-robot battle bit this is super confusing me.

>>30607657
THEY LIIIIIVEEEE

Thought I'd never see these guys again!

We should strive to be constructive and not overtly mean in our criticism of new artists. I'd rather see a poor artist grow and improve into something great, than to discourage them and never get a chance to see what they might have been.

>>30607671
>>30607702
I was writing this off and on for who knows how long now between life and barely had time to read the threads so I stupidly joined things in the haze, I apolgize about the confusion, it’s been a long road to ho.

She definitely thinks Chitty is alive and is very afraid...aside from that I really can’t think of a way out of what she heard and such...hmmm, damn.

NC and rewrite it?

>>30607797
Okay!

...Did you mean anything specific? The last story maybe? Cause it was just a mistake, it happens, and both of them who brought it up said they liked it.

>>30607807
Understandable.

I mean sure if you want to NC it, just take out that one line and pretty much everything fits.

>>30607829
Ok, I’ll have version two up tomorrow, then.

>>30607797
>We should strive to be constructive and not overtly mean in our criticism of new artists

Alright.

Buuuut SL anon is old as hell, trust us.

>>30606228
What he takes back with him is going to be GLORIOUS.

>>30608090
>SL anon
...?

>>30608355
Screwloose.

I guess u could call him 'sexy hooves' anon too, point is he old

>>30608394
>point is he old
Yeah I am, haha... ha......

Night thread

>>30609061
Good Night, spool

>>30609123
that simply absurd

>>30609633
Monster!

>>30608541
Join the club, me mate.

The ride never ends!

>>30610806
Have no fears we've got stories for years like... Chitania becomes a roboooott! Do do doooo we've got stories for years!

>>30611094
HOW DID YOU KN-... Nothing.

>>30608394
Speaking of, he hasn't had a first for sexy hooves in forever!

STEP UP YOUR GAME

>>30611094
Can we also get surprise marriages?

>>30611444
Trips demand Sexy Hooves!

>Pommel
“Potsticker’
~~

>…so do we tell them to stand down?

“I guess? I mean she was worried something was coming, but it’s just that bitch.”

>Guess they thought Chitania was alive or something, that other Applejack did miss the whole pew pew thing.

“Well thank goodness. I wonder what she thought when she learned Chitania’s a pile of bugmeat being fed to sharks?”

>Probably what I thought, “Oh thank god, someone gets to eat her for once!”

“…”

>Okay maybe not exactly that.

“I keep forgetting she ate you.”

>It wasn’t pleasant. She had worms.

“Ew.”

>Well, worm… he tried to eat me too.

“…”

>I’m not ignorant of the layers there.

“Faust above, you’re a mess.”

>And yet, my guys were more on point than yours.

“Or, that’s what I let you see.”

>…

“…Tell them to resume to normal?”

>Let’s do that and thank goodness she actually is dead.

“Thank Faust, pretty sure she’d rip the city down if she tried it again.”

>A fear we no longer have to worry about, ta da.

“…”

>…So did you just feel that unease?

“A little bit.”

>>30611914
SHHHHIIIIIIIII

>>30612046
It's fiiinnee.

OOCO
>Rarity
"Applejack"

>Jackie

"Mnofff.."

>Applejack?

"NEhj"

>Applejack you can't come... what is that word Dash uses... "crash"? At my place unannounced

"Beh, too tired"

>...Where have you been?

"Tourhsss..."

>Of Canterlot?

"Mmmguildsmmmm"

>Oh, well I suppose it was for some good, no?

"...SNCKloadofcrap...can't even get a..huh...huuuhhhhh, rebate right still..."

>So, darling... while we're on the matter, how about I ask you about those "Reliability Claimants"-

"ZZZZZZZ...HNK....Zzzzzzz"

>...Works almost everytime

"Nng"

>Until you get trapped in her hooves...

"...Mm"

>Mmm

>>30612165
Daw

>>30612165
Alright, that was cute.

OOCO
>AJ
“Two”
~~~

SLAM!

“AH’M AJ TWO!”

>…This better end with some kinda freaky mindswticheroo, or Ah’m gonna get the jacket out.

“No! It’s itchy!”

>Okay so that is Two… why’d you decide ta’ slam mah’ door? You don’t slam doors.

“Sorry, but Ah’ had to tell you! Ah’m AJ Two!”

>…okkaaayyy?

“So then Ah’m four!”

>…

“Do the math!”

>….

“…”

>…Huh.

“Let that sink in!”

SLAM!

>…Ohhhh, AJ, Two, Ah’ got it. Heh, cause there’s two letters in it, and then two… Ah’ get it.

“AH’ TOLD YOU SO!”

>GAH! HOW THE HECK DO YOU DO THAT?! You bein’ a gaddang expy of the Dark Mare is bigger than a word problem you learned in kindergarten!

“Learnin’ is important! Yer’ hangin’ up a poster that says it!”

>No Ah’m not!

“Look!”

>There’s nothing there! See? There’s nothing..

She looks back, Two is gone.

>…Chrysalis taught you everything wrong.

>Pinkie
“Dash”
‘Rarity’
~Fs~
~~~

>Well, shoot! What do we do now?... Party?

“Races!”

‘Dresses!’

~Animals!~

>…

“Oh, I’m sorry, were we not naming our one note?”

‘How goshe of us to think that we shouldn’t do that one thing.’

~But what else could we do? It’s all we have.~

>…

“Or nothing? Nothing.”

‘Let’s do nothing, because that’s the only levels we have!’

~Yay… remember? I do that too.~

>…Okay, so I’ve been leaning on the ‘party’ answer a little bit.

“Noooo.”

‘Darling, whatever made you think that?’

~We disagree, if that’s okay with you.~

>…Promise me you do it out of love.

“Deepest.”

‘Truest.’

~Love.~

>I’ll take it.

>Spike
~~~

>…

…

>…

…

>AHA!

….

>…AHAHAHAA!

….

>…Okay this is just getting stupid I quit.

….

>…Shit.

>>30612900
Why are you torturing him? I'm not posting a story for him any time soon because now isn't the time. Let him rest damn it.

>Siegfried
"Delight"
'Others'
~~~~

"..."

They'd been flying for some time now, nightfall drawing closer. The streets aren't as full as they were even thirty minutes ago, but they somehow felt just as lively.

Earlier, there was a good deal of rejoicing once news of Chitania's demise reached Gryphonia, and no doubt there will be more once nightfall rolls in. Siegfried's sure of it. After all, if there's one thing he has a sense for, it's when a party is brewing.

>(I wonder if Lotte's going to do something special. Maybe 1 -or even 2!- percent off on drinks tonight?)

He looks over at the pegasus pony, his attention focused on the sights below. The pony seems fond of that spot, considering how he hasn't moved an inch from there since the flight began. About the only other thing he's done there, aside from answer the occasional conversation prompt Siegfried throws out, is carely stretch his muscles and wings.

>...? Not too long now!

The pony looks over at Siegfried, prompting the prince to point a talon towards a nearby mountain. Following Siegfried's talon, the pony spots a structure built into the aforementioned mountain. Well, several structures, actually. But one stands out among them: a building built on a clearing/ledge.
It stands like a shadow, large and imposing, against the mountain. Its roof appears to be lined with feather-like materials, their reddish-black color complementing the building proper.

If it wasn't already clear by Siegfried's words and actions, the gigantic "MURDER YvY" engraved (painted?) above the building left no doubt that this is the Murder's Nest.

>Pretty nice, right? Has this kind of dark and brooding look to it that brings out all the fun sorts of people!

"Cutthroats, thieves, and jaywalkers?"

>Exactly! The sort of people that know how to live a little on the edge. Have a little fun!

"...You're a prince, right?"
1/3

>>30612987
Siegfried shrugs his shoulders.

>Last I checked, yes! Though, I sometimes wonder if it's more of a formality. You know, like how chickens have wings but can't fly. They're still birds, but not as important.

The pony's mouth opens a bit and, for a moment, a twinge of sympathy breaks up his stoic features.

>Wait... Hmm. Was that insensitive? It sounded better in my head... Ah, well, a little late to take it back. And you're not going to squeal on me, are you?

"...No."

>Alright! No take backs. But, uh, what was it you were about to say?

"...It's just that you seem to have a very 'free' attitude. A risky one, for one of your stature."

>Bah! What's a life without risk? A chore, that's what it is! Doesn't matter if you're a prince or a pauper.

"Point taken."

It didn't take long for Siegfried to find a suitable place to park his ship, and he set about locking it up for the time being. In the meantime, the pony takes to the ground, landing with a quiet hiss. He looks about, taking note of the nearby houses and the griffons around them.
Some of them, particularly the hatchlings, pause to eye him for a moment before going about their business; either doing nothing, playing with their friends, or... Something catches his eye, a flash of gold from the treetops.
His attention snapping to the flash's general location, he manages to make out the form of a griffon hatchling, its gaze focused on him from behind the tree's thick foliage. Noticing that he sees it, the griffon pokes its- his?- head out.

"(False alarm. Just an ordinary griffon...)"

In fact, about the only thing that stands out about the hatchling is its 'mask', which resembles that of a raccoon's rather than the usual 'eyeliner' markings griffons sport.

>Alright!

The pony's attention settles onto Siegfried, who's a moment away from hoping over the ship's railing.

>Now that that's done, what say we head on up?

"...Lead the way."
2/3

>>30613000
'Alright... you fackin' waste of space! I'mma teach ya yer place 'round here.'

'Yer what? Yer gonna do what now?'

'Teach ya yer place!'

'Ya couldn't teach a fuckin' fish how da swim! Idiot!'

'Whachoo say?! You callin' me stupid, you fackin' softclaw?!'

'SOFTCLAW?! Come say that to my face, you fuckin' racketface!'

'Aw, now ya done it! I'mma break those dainty claws 'a yours!'

'Not 'fore these claws rearrange that ugly mug!'

The drunken griffons stumble towards each other, eyes glazed over with moonshine induced fury. After minutes of falling down and clambering to their feet again, they finally meet.

'Take this! An' this! An' some 'a dat'

Whatever they thought they were doing must have been more dramatic and exciting than the sloppy hug and slapfest they were currently engaging in.

"... So, this is a thing here?"

>Yep! These old birds have been at it for years. Same scene every day. I'm pretty sure they're part of the decoration. What's up guys?

'Uh? Oh, heya, Siggy-boy!'

'How've ya been?'

>Eh, not too bad. Just dropping by to show my friend here a good time.

'A pega... a pegasussy, huh? I remember back when I was a fledgling how... Upp. What was I gonna say?'

>Something about softclaws.

'Hey, that's right! I'mma throttle you, racketface!'

With that, the griffons continued their awkward groping, allowing Siegfried and the pony to continue towards the building.

>Trust me, you don't want to get caught up in one of Stonebeak's stories.

"Hmm."

>Oh, and word of advice, try not to call anyone a softclaw. Especially not the bartender.

"I'll keep that in mind."