What would you do on a date with you're waifu?

>>30584316
>rape

>>30584320
That's the spirit

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>>30584316
>you're

wake up

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>>30584316
>Discuss writing, reading, etc.
>Talk about our shared interest.
>Pull that spaghetti shit from Lady and the tramp.
>Compliment her.
>Get smashed with her.
>Giggle as I pay more on the check than I expected to, but too drunk to care.
>Walk her home in laughter as we play around Ponyville at night, having the fun we never had with another by our side.
>Continue to drunkenly flirt with her through all this until we stop at her home.
>Chat with her as she invites me inside.
>Rub her back gently as we both get drowsy and she asks for one, a closeness now being felt by the two of us.
>Have a moment where we realize that this was meant to be.
>Kiss.
>Fall asleep together on the couch.
>Wake up the next morning.
>Realize this isn't my waifu and that I just found another drunk mare who got lost from her date.
>Get arrested for rape.
>Spend twenty gorillion days in prison.
>Get parole.
>Good behavior, so I get out early.
>Be free.
>Try to say sorry to waifu for accidentally going home with a different mare thinking it was her while I was drunk all those months ago when we went on that one date.
>Go home a broken man and proceed to write about my sufferings in song.
>Form a band eventually.
>Break it up for creative differences after tasting glory and filling my inner darkness through cocaine, groupies, and watching VHS recordings of sitcoms.
>Fade into obscurity.
>Retire with good money though from them royalties.
>Marry gold digger.
>Snort cocaine off her ass.
>Kill her while high.
>Go back to jail.
>Get the death penalty.
>Wake up as life fades to black.
>It was all a dream.

So yeah I think it'd go pretty well.

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>>30584316
allow starlight to use her magic on me to make me give up my individuality

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We'd both be sperging all date long, trying not to fuck up and doing our best to act 'normal', only for everything to be awkward as hell
I'd have to take the lead since I'm certainly the most and only one experienced, so I'd take her to some nerdy shit first, like a convention or a museum or whatever's around at the moment
And I'd listen to her sweet voice telling me all she knows about random shit, and I'd nod and try to add stuff here and there, but I'd mostly be listening to her
And my beating heart
Then I'd ask her if there was anything she'd want to do next, she'd say no, and I'd take her to the park or something, and we'd sit on the grass under a tree, trying to find small talk only for the awkwardness to come back
And I'd have to take the lead once more, petting her back and mane
"Too much?"
She'd shake her head, blushing, telling me that it's perfect
And we'd stay that way for what seems like hours, my hand resting on her side, stroking her mane every few moments
A growling stomach would happen, we'd decide it to be the right time to find something to eat
We'd find a good place, and we'd eat and we'd drink
Since she's not used to drinking, she'd get real tipsy real fast
And I'd take her home, but not before stopping on a bench or something along the way, and we'd joke about random shit and my tongue would slip a 'you're beautiful' at some point
And we'd kiss
It'd taste like booze, or cider, or whatever alcohol horses have
And I'd pick her up and bring her home
It'd be an awkward 'see you later', but right before I'd leave she'd take hold of my hand using her magic
And I'd understand
And my heart rate would skyrocket
And my blood would rush south
And I'd pick her up once more, groaning when I'd feel her lips against my neck
I'd run to her room, burst the door open and place her on the bed
She'd look like a mess
A beautiful mess
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
And then she'd fall asleep/need to barf before we could get to the foreplay

It'd be perfect

>it's another 'shut-in weirdo virgins tell each other what normal life experience is like, based on consuming nothing but cartoons and Internet-filtered pop culture for reference' thread
the awful, greasy tang of lives not lived in a self-radicalizing echo chamber

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>>30584316
Just talk about animals, how's the shelter and how's her life going.
And I'm assuming I'll be eating in some restaurant.
Pretty much it.
If there's anything else she might be interested in I'll talk to her about it.

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>>30584422
She'd be drunk. That ain't consent, Nonners.

>>30584519
>I care about this
>She'd pull this kind of shit
There ain't no jews in Equestria Anon
Also, it's not rape if the stallion does it

>>30584404
WTF?!

>>30584666
I know right?

It's not everyday you get to see one of your minions caught on camera

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>>30584432

>>30584316
Dinner and a movie.

Don't fix what ain't broke.

>>30584378
cant.

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>>30584432

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>>30584316

Cooking date.

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>>30584316
Take her to a carnival and let her go on all the rides, try for all the prizes, and then buy a shit ton of carnival food and eat it on the beach nearby whilst talking about our interests and watching the world go by.

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Well with women like this, it's been my experience that it's best to get them in debted to you in small ways. They often tend to be very dom oriented, breaking that cycle and having her submit will be chore.
Taking her out to a dinner or a movie would more often than not bore her. Spontaneous behavior is what will win this battle..claim we are going for a simple walk in the park and that she'd best dress comfortably. Take her to a national park. This will catch her by suprise throwing her out of her element.
The night prior be sure to pack snacks and juice. During the hike a 2nd ambush of a picnic will win the day.
The fact is she'll try to pay for shit or not let you buy her stuff because she wants to be the alpha.
You must do sneak attacks. Buy tickets ahead of time, buy some flowers, be 3 steps ahead of her at all times.
You must be smarter, you must make her understand that you will get your way through your actions.
Remember that a king doesn't need to say he's a king. Just like you do not need to say your in control. You must be in control.

Essentially behavior like this is how you win the heart of a hard ass. Now you need to keep switching between planned and unplanned behavior to keep them on their toes.

Only a stronger dom can make her submissive. It's worth it.

>>30584378
no please

>>30585680
>it's another "everyone is on the Dom/sub spectrum" episode

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We'd start late morning - day dates are always less stressful. I'd have her over to help prepare our picnic lunch - my freshly cleaned bachelor pad and stocked kitchen showing that I have husbando skills. I'd ask her advice about a house plant - showing I'm open to guidance.
We'd wander around town picking up some fresh bread and desserts to augment our feast and find a nice, spot under a large willow tree. It would be planned spontaneity - adventurous but safe. I'd ask her about birds and animals, listening to her intently and encouraging her to speak more because I like her voice and think she's very smart - as smart as Twilight just not in the same ways - her ways are more natural and instinctive - wisdom versus information. We'd enjoy the awkward pauses with blushed smiles and contented sighs. Quiet afternoon snuggles and a quick stop to feed her animals leads to a surprise dinner at a very swish, for Ponyville, restaurant. Passionate stares and hoof holding over the table followed by - surprise - her favourite dessert. A local concert - or was it just Lyra in the village square - under the stars with a bottle of vintage cider and a long, lingering doorstep conversation before a terribly romantic kiss and a promise of future times.

>>30584316
>you're waifu
A lot of runnning and talking to myself, I guess

yeah alright

>You'd lay in bed together
>Chatting about nothing
>Curled around each other
>A warm glow would rise to your cheeks
>The heat of the moment would well up from your stomach to sit in the cavity of your chest
>Above your heart
>Happiness would consume your entire being
>She was simply be talking about nothing in particular
>Even the weather
>So long as she was talking
>That's all that mattered, really
>Her angelic voice
>More pure than the freshly fallen snow, and smoother than the calm river's flow
>Her eyes, as radiant as she, would stare at you
>Lovingly
>Passion would be hidden deep within her irises, passion for you.
>Passion for the things she loves
>That little sparkle in her eye
>She would turn to you, falling silent
>A loving gaze affixed in her radiant, gorgeous irises
>She would whisper softly
>"...Anon..."
>Your head was tilt just so in her direction
>She paused for a moment, taking in a calming breath
>She fell silent for a moment
>"I... I lov-"
>She was cut off as you jolted awake
>Just a dream
>Your dingy apartment, absent of your waifu, greeted your swimming senses
>just another dream.

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>>30588607
>the silken clench of the soft sheets and chemical smell of Springtime Freshness chokes your senses.
>The burning tears streak your cheeks
>The ache of your soul now palatable as bitter adrenaline on your tongue
>Your heart beats, strong and proud and slowing
>The cold steel around your wrists and ankles clangs against your bedpost
>You think, "That's gonna leave scratches; Mom wouldn't approve. Too late now. Sorry, Mom."
>Your neck strains and your eyes feel as though they will burst from their sockets as the gentle darkness invades your senses
>Soon
>You will return to that place with your love
>Soon
>You will hear her voice
>Soon
>You will feel her soft coat and gaze into her loving eyes
>Soon
>You will dream for always

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>>30589219

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>>30584316
No idea. Drinking a lot and talking about inane crap is pretty much all I would manage. Maybe if we do it in a fancy place it can be considered a date?

>>30588607
>>30589219
The feels man.

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>>30584316
I'd want her to shit marshmallow frosting onto my face.

>>30584316
Be happy for once in my life.

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>>30584316
I don't know.
The last date I went on was in 2002.

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>>30584407
This, and unironically.

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>struggle to find topics to talk about
>try all the lame ice breakers
>drop all sorts of spaghetti
>she tells me to relax and just be me
>I slowly but surely tell her about all my likes and interests no matter how nerdy and outside mainstream they are
>even goes far to tell her where I see my life in a few years
>go on about dreams based off of a sense of childhood fulfillment
>she takes it not only rather well and says I am cute
>keeps going on dates as I get out of my shell more and more
>she then tells me of her life as soon as we both are comfortable with each other
>she tells me she is actually a horse trapped in a girl's body
>try not to laugh but fail a bit
>as she gets angry,I decide to say I actually believe her despite all odds
>not convinced,she tells me about portal
>she wishes to promise that no matter what happens when we cross over,I won't freak out or be mad
>promises
>go through portal,both of us come out as ponies
>freak the fuck out
>moreso as I am a horse
>she tries to calm me down
>I contemplate everything
>wondering if this is worth all the strange shit going on
>realize you won't be in a fulfilling relationship with other girl
>despite it all,I promise this won't change anything between us.
>live together in human land
>get a small job in animation
>work years for a career
>then get an opportunity to revive an old favorite series of mine
>goes for it
>waifu tells me that she is pregnant
>realized that we never married due to how hectic things have been especially financially
>decide to have a small ceremony with few close friends
>have baby
>it is a girl
>name her Aurora Shimmer
>been years now
>decide to come to ponyland with waifu
>come through portal
>do not make it there
>realize too late that this is a shitty greentext and not real life
>feelsbadman

>>30595619
That was really fucking gay senpai

>>30595662

Yeah and everyday I stray farther from God's Light

>>30595619
>>30595691
dw Anon, I feel and share your autism
The one's that don't are still too young to understand, soon, they'll know