What would a pony fetishize about a human?

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>>30565234
Sexual endurance; lasting for more than ten to twenty seconds.

>"Wh-what'dyer mean, he kin go for fahve minutes?"
>"T-Ten minutes!?"
>"Twenty!?"

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>>30565255
Overplayed meme, my friend. Sex takes practice, your average virgin will blow their load just as fast as a stallion. However, we do have great libido; we're basically horny all the time, can do it several times a day, even several times an HOUR in some cases and our technical knowledge of sex in general is fucking insane by puritan equestrian standards. There are more than one way to please a mare.

>>30565234
Finger and sex drive. And probably the size of our body.

Our hands and feet
Fingers and toes are really alien to them, so that'd be a thing
Also the fact that we wear clothes, the whole 'clothed ponies are sexier' is certainly true
We'd be huge fucking teases
Also our nipples. Since stallions don't have those.
Our teeth. We're predators, we can bite stuff, that'd be huge on the whole powerplay scene
Depending on the size difference, the size would be a thing too. If we go with 3feet tall ponies then the difference coupled with the size and flexibility of our arms would allow us to do a bazillion things that stallions could only dream of
You could for example kiss her on the lips while you fuck her, and you could even finger her ponut or pinch her clit, or rub her teats all at the same time
And with that we could also carry them easily, that could be something too
Other than that, our scent and taste, I guess
I never tasted a stallion's cum or sweat, but I'm quite certain it tastes and smells different than my own
Also our body hair, since their coat is rather short, having a hairy torso/arms/legs could be something for some mares
And finally, the language
We know that French/Prench is a thing but is quite rare, I'm sure that italian speakers or smth could get some mares wet only by sweet talking

>>30565234
I guess height, overall anatomy and biomechanics so you better not be a fatty/skelly with a poor posture. I also like to think they'd find the human face more or less intimidating at first, even if it's very good looking or friendly.

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>>30565287
I see no problem with the times I've listed because I've never been able to cum during sex. I've actually faked it more times than not, even with a girl I loved very much.

It's not good. I suspect it's just too much action with the hand; and the fact I barely ever jerk off to >nohooves women. Maybe it's a psychological thing. Literally the only time I was even capable of finishing was with some serious hand action.

For me, fifteen to twenty minutes is just some good cardio and a good workout on the inner legs/ass. I got nothing here desu

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>>30565364
>tfw 6 feet, not particularly well built, but not skinnyfat
>equestrians likely view me as pencils-tier anon

in equestria, we are all big guys

>>30565384
>in equestria we are all big guys
For the ponies

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>>30565398
Except Celestia.

>>30565406
if I take that hoodie off, would she be sad

>>30565326
>I never tasted a stallion's cum or sweat, but I'm quite certain it tastes and smells different than my own.
We're basically walking salt licks, any fetish involving humans would likely involve some sort of vore or foodplay.

>>30565410
it would be very chilly

>>30565234
Heavy petting

>>30565326
>We know that French/Prench is a thing but is quite rare, I'm sure that italian speakers or smth could get some mares wet only by sweet talking

>"I never knew you could communicate so much with so little!"
"Yeah, it's one of those inflection based languages."
>"That's amazing Anon!"
>" ...well..is there anything you have to say to me~"
"If you insist"
"omelette du fromage"

>tfw you will never convince the entirety of Equestria that the French language only consisted of Omlette du fromage

>>30565326
>>30565742
>>30565774
All these great responses
Humans having fingers to tease them, pet and scratch, and tasting like salt would drive the horses wild

Those combined with Our height and leverage will hopefully make up for not having Nineteen inch dicks

>>30565742
>pony asks you to hold some things for them in middle of marketplace
>you're wearing nothing but shorts and a shirt and can't move
>a few ponies cautiously approach and sniff at your legs before taking a tentative lick
>more and more ponies start to congregate around you
>before long you have a dozen ponies climbing over one another to get a shot at your exposed skin

>>30565234
the one you just posted probably would

>>30565807
>ponies having nineteen inch dicks
>implying they have horse cocks that big

>>30565807
>will hopefully make up for not having Nineteen inch dicks
Mares are most sensitive near the entrance and most stallions do not provide enough stimulation during intercourse for them to be sexually satisfied.
While not as rediculous as dolphins, mares also posesses a lot more muscle control within the vagina which would allow them to pleasure mates of various sizes.

>Anon, i want you gettin fucked by your dad while i watch

>>30565382
[spoilers]ive never been able to cum during sex either I'm wondering if there is legit something wrong with me because I can't do it while masturbating either and I'm 19 I don't think I've ever came in my life[/spoilers]

>>30566454
Fuck I messed up the spoilers also sorry for the blog post

Hands, probably.

>>30566454
Drop the death grip when you use your hand. Put your other hand far away from your dick. Use other hand.
[Spoiler] or just stop masturbating [/spoiler]

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>>30566500
>>30566454
You guys are so new i feel obliged to throw you a bone.
http://www.4chan.org/faq
Lurk until you can bullshit well enough.

>>30566596
Phone auto cap S without me noticing

>>30565287
>your average virgin will blow their load just as fast as a stallion
Uh... not quite, famalam. Not unless you're shooting your loads early. Fuck, what was it called again?

>>30566454
yes there is something legit wrong with you
go to a doctor or something
>>30566724
>he thinks the only way to spoiler something is by manually typing out the tags
thanks for proving his point lad

>>30566875
premature ejaculation

>>30566897
Yes, that. Thank you.

>>30566500
I'm not a male and I always either use my fingers or a 6 inch dildo I bought but nothing works.

>>30566461
Plot twist: FEET

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>>30566938

>>30566938
clitoris, focus on the clitoris.

>>30566986
or dont

>>30566938
maybe instead of sleeping around you should have found somebody you could actually hold an emotional connection with

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>>30566938
just because you take estrogen pills doesn't mean you're a woman
get help

>>30566938
Prove it

>>30566938
The majority of women don't reach orgasm during normal sex.* And as for masturbation in order to orgasm you need to A) actually be horny and B) do it rhythmically, don't just go crazy like you sometimes see in porn and yes, focus primarily on your clitoris,
but don't OVERstimulate it. Also try a slightly (just slightly) wider dildo.

*Source: Dr. Drew

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>>30566454
>>30566938
>she fell for the female orgasm meme
That shit's fake for porn.

>>30567018
>Also try a slightly (just slightly) wider dildo.
GAPING

>>30566938
Probably shouldn't have wasted your time with such a small dildo.

>>30567036
>female orgasm is fake
You should search "closeup orgasm" and open homemade videos because "professional" porn is shit.

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>>30567063
3DPD

not pone

>>30567036
What? They're definitely real, and you can tell because the pelvic floor muscle starts involuntarily contracting just like on men (even though it doesn't really serve much purpose on women). What you see in porn is *usually* not the real deal though. Spoilered because of explicit but educational text: The fake orgasms from porn are piss-spraying """orgasms""" that are from over-stimulating the clitoris... OR tip of the PENIS if you're a male. Seriously! Men, try it next time you're in the shower- while hard, rub the very tip of your penis really fast up and down with the palm of your hand (with sufficient lubrication) until the sensation becomes unbearable, almost painful, then let go and you'll release an uncontrollable stream of piss. Now you know what the women in porn are feeling when they """orgasm""" and spray piss everywhere. The true female orgasm is a similar sensation to the male orgasm except it's much more spread over the whole body and not concentrated mostly to the penis like in men.

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Absolute proof that /mlp/ is a bunch of sexually frustrated dysfunctionals. As if we needed any...

Nah, but I never managed to cum during sex either. Got my partner off and then that was it; I went soft. I was pretty young and drunk off my ass at the time though.

I find it's about more than just choking to ol' chicken, though, and it's probably the same for the """""grills""""" too. Gotta have something behind it, or it isn't the same. Some kind of emotional investment, and an emotional investment a dildo is not (or a drunk one-night stand). I guess I've always been that way though, I miss the cuddling more than the sex, even if that's just looking at the past through rose-tinted glasses.

>>30567133
I piss when I overstimulate my prostate. How do women have real orgasms rather than pissing themselves? I want to try to apply it to myself and see if I can cum from my prostate alone.

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>>30567133
>it's much more spread over the whole body and not concentrated mostly to the penis like in men
I see people say this a lot. For me, orgasms aren't just some penile-focused pleasure. It's an entire bodily feeling of bliss and release, is the best way I can describe it. From what orgasms actually, biologically are- a huge release of chemicals in the brain, not some penis-specific goodness- I think it's wholly inaccurate to describe the difference that way. Female orgasms are obviously longer lasting and more powerful but still.
>>30567170
pic

>>30567196
>admits female orgasms are better
>calls others faggots because they want to experience one

>>30566991
Nice projecting, I've only had two partners in my whole life.

>>30567237
two too many and still not married

sad

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>>30567237
>Nice projecting
>sleeping around
>projecting
Only a woman would post such a thing.

>>30567417
That ain't even bad. I've had two, though I really wish I hadn't. Should have saved myself for something more serious. Now I'll never be a wizzard. The real question is if that's the actual number.

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>>30567170
>prostate
>woman
not sure if srs

>>30565234
canine teeth

>>30568783
Would you gently nibble on her marely bits and make her fear wink?

>>30565234
Anything I want them to, it's fiction.

>>30565754
for you

>>30565326
>Our teeth. We're predators, we can bite stuff, that'd be huge on the whole powerplay scene
Predator/prey play is superb.

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>>30569275
My negro.

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>>30565234
>"What would a pony fetishize about a human?"

The chance of being impregnated by one of them.

No matter how impossible.


>"Do it, Anon! Fuck me harder!

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>>30569341
>mfw there's barely any green or stories about aggressive mares screaming at Anon to impregnate them

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>>30569289
Huh.
I think it just clicked that flowerhorse is my waifu, this is a strange feeling.

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>>30569435
Congrats. She is a very nervous and flighty waifu, but doubtlessly affectionate when she gets used to your presence.

>>30565786
The funniest thing is Omlette du fromage isn't even good French

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>>30565234

>>30566938
Some girls are just like that, what with being hard to please. Sorry.

>>30565234

Maybe something related to our ingenuity? Particularly all the things we've have accomplished without magic, wings, or natural earth pony super strength.

>>30569920
Nothing gets a mare going like physics and engineering

>>30565255
HOURS

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>>30570119
thas rite bby

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>“So what is it you like about “humans”, Twilight?” asks Rarity, staring at you curiously as she pours a glass of wine. “It’s just so…confusing. Why, you are aware they aren’t real after all, aren’t you? That they aren’t even of the same species?”
>Be Twilight Sparkle.
>And yeah, you know humans aren’t real, and being forced to hear Rarity say so doesn’t make this fact any less painful.
>But still, you’d like to believe they were, somewhere…
>You shake your head.
>Focus, Twilight.
“Yeah, I know they’re not real. It’s weird.”
>“Well, that and you’re sexually attracted to them. That might also be categorized as ‘weird’ too,” says Rarity, “but why? What is it that’s so desirable?”
“I don’t know. It’s strange, even for me. It’s like, for some reason, they just scream ‘masculinity’ for some odd reason,” you explain. “They’re tall, they’re built, they have canines…”
>You sigh.
“They’re otherworldly, but look at them! Something about them is just pony enough to make them seem like the most stallionest of…well, anything! Yeah, they’re a different species, but look at how much they resemble us! And by Luna’s stars, the FINGERS.”
>“Fingers. Like that of a monkeys?”
>You nod.
“Yes. But even MORE dexterous. Just think of the things they can DO to you with those things…”
>You magically grab the wine bottle and top your glass off.
>Taking a sip, you appreciate the fruity flavor.
“Hh. Not bad. Where’d you get this from?”
>Rarity rolls her eyes at you.
>“Oh, a gift from a friend up in Manehattan. I kept the bottle around in my kitchen. I thought it looked nice.”
>As if Rarity’s kitchen could look anymore nice…

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>>30570190
>>And yeah, you know humans aren’t real, and being forced to hear Rarity say so doesn’t make this fact any less painful.
it is painful to think theyre actually real and suffering just like us because they wish we were real

thank goodness they arent real though

yeah

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>>30570190
>While it wasn’t anything great or bedazzling like the rest of her boutique, it had a simple, homely charm to it.
>It was smaller than you’d expect it to be, and the colors were strangely darker than what one would usually think of, especially when taking into account of how Rarity favors the ‘bright and shiny’ approach to things.
>However, this was not present.
>Instead, the kitchen had storm gray walls that were almost a blue of sorts that were paired with dark mauve or cannon pink cabinets.
>The table you and Rarity sat at was nothing fantastic either; it was a simple table made of strong wood with green table cloth over it.
>Next to the table was a window with purple curtains, yet to be closed as so the moonlight culd shine through.
>You stare out through it, appreciating the nice stars.
>“Well,” resumes Rarity, “while I definitely do not judge you, I can’t say that I’m able to see where you are coming from.”
“I know…I just needed someone’s opinion on all of this. I don’t know how to feel anymore. I-I can’t even look at stallions the same way, Rarity. I see a stallion and I think: ‘no hands’. Now that I think about humans, stallions can’t even compete.”
>You stare Rarity dead in the eye.
“Do you know how long humans can last, Rarity?”
>She cocks a brow.
>“I-I’m afraid not, Twilight.”
“Five minutes. Five minutes for them to climax. And they can STILL go after that. For twenty minutes, if need be. Maybe forty! Forty minutes, Rarity. Imagine it: this mountainous, masculine creature with a handsome face, perfect features, grabbing you with his strong arms and powerful fingers by your hips, thrusting himself into you. You’d EXPLODE after three minutes, but he’d not even cum yet. He’d keep going and you’d cum again and again and again!”
>Rarity takes a sip of her wine, mumbling a “My word!” with cheeks of scarlet.

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>>30570212
“And they’re strong, too. I believe that gravity is stronger where these “humans” come from. They can hunt, they can run, they can jump…”
>You wipe the sweat off your forehead.
“And they. Can. FUCK.”
>You down your glass of wine.
>The thoughts alone of a male human, bearing himself into you as he repeatedly deposits his essence to your womb causes your legs to tremble.
“And they don’t just put part of their long, thick cocks into you either like stallions. They put it all in. Imagine that. A whole cock sliding into you, not just a part of it that only manages a few thrust before gushing over your cheeks, but the whole thing.”
>“H-how long are they,” asks a flushed Rarity.
“Anywhere from five to nine inches,” you say. “And every inch goes inside you.”
>Rarity’s jaw drops.
>“I never thought these fictitious creatures from a kid show could be so…so…lewd!”
“Y-yeah…”
>“Twilight…Twilight, are you getting your, er, ‘juices’ on my chair?”
“...Yes.”

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>>30567237
>only

>>30570223
duh end

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>>30570223
>>30570232
gud

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>>30565786
I didn't know this was a ylyl thread, I just lost
now i'm imagining saying things like "perro caca" and "sopa de macaco, uma delicia" before sexing a pone

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>>30570223
I
uhh
wow, where did this boner come from?

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>>30570197
Lyra cries herself to sleep every nite wishing we were real.

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>>30570346
PLEASE NO

pones are too pure to suffer like us

they dont deserve such a fate

>>30565287
this

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>>30565234
reverse alienation & assumed dominance, then public restraint & humiliation

What would pones think about a human joining the royal guard and basically becoming achilles like?

>>30570654
Horse pussy for days.

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>>30570654
>Evenually Celestia fears she's created a monster
>Sends him to ponyville to learn about friendship

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>>30570603
well then what the fuck are you doing on a Mongolian horse-archery forum?
Go and find a way to get to Equestria, and stop their suffering
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, JUST DO IT

>>30570706
This.
This needs to be a green.

>>30570603
This. Ponies are too pure. We don't deserve them, and they deserve better than us.

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>>30570223
oh yes

>>30570752
Somewhere in the multiverse, they're saying the same thing about you...

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>>30570654
>>30570706
>>30570720
I would guard Celestia zealously and become something to be feared so no simple criminal or powerful, dangerous villain alike would dare to make an attempt on her.

>>30570786
Probably not, senpai. Where they are feminine and cute, they'd see us as masculine and ferocious. If anything, they'd want us to come to them, unlike how we want to go to them.

>>30570794
>Other nations know him as the beast of equestria
>His armor and weapons forged in Celestias very sun
>Sing o muse

>>30570786
I doubt it.

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>>30570805
>"Why would these humans even think about us, that's ridiculous. Like they don't have anything better to do. It's just escapistic fantasies, there is absolutely no way they even exist, not to mention thinking about us at this very moment."

>>30570794

>Anon thinks he is the greatest badass in all of Equestria.
>Is really an incompetent doof.
>Celestia finds him extremely charming though, goofy and big hearted.
>Plays along, let's him "guard" her wherever she goes.
>Giggles as he tries to glare at everypony that gets a little too close to her for his liking, just pulls a dumb face.
>"Interrogates" ponies regularly before letting them see Celestia, making sure they won't try to be mean to her.
>Celestia sets up encounters with fake criminals for him to stop so he can feel good every week.
>Other guards are ordered to go along with it or face punishment from Celestia herself, have to pretend to be impressed by his stories about how HE "saved" the princess.
>When real criminal tries to do something and hurts Anon, Celestia goes nuclear and erases him from existence on the spot.
>No one hurts her precious little doofus.

Mostly unrelated, but I still think you'll appreciate it.

"Silly Twilight, you're my imaginary friend! You can't kill your-"
>BANG!
"Come on Twilight, you know that won't work."
>Imaginary body continues to bleed imaginary blood on your carpet.
"All...all right that's enough, get up and talk to me."
>POOF
>Imaginary letter lands in your hands.
>"Dear Anon, Being your imaginary friend was the worst existence ever. Sincerely, Imaginary Twilight"
>The imaginary body is still on the floor despite your best effort to will it back to life.
"...Oh."

>>30570894
No, no. I would literally jump in front of an actual firebolt meant for Celestia.

As in I would die, Anon.

>>30570912

I know you would, but that doesn't mean you're not a doofus. Any moron can take a bullet. Just be glad she finds it charming.

>>30570919
You're lucky I'm too buzzed to come up with a good retort.

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>>30570649
saved

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>>30570886
>>30570908
wow, hey, when did this become a feels thread?

>>30570786
>>30570886
>>30570958
https://youtu.be/MWV4lvmBs9Q
We'll break through that wall someday.

>>30571047
>tfw you'd be dead before that happens

>>30565382
>>30566454
Cut or uncut?

Just curious

>>30565314
Volumetrically our bodies are very close to the same size accounting for standard male/female sexual dimorphism in tournament species.

>>30565326
>Also our nipples. Since stallions don't have those.
Not true, actually

>>30566890
>implying you can ctrl+s on mobile

>>30570603
>>30570752
>tfw you realize that poners are crying themselves to sleep thinking about you crying yourself to sleep because you thought of them crying themselves to sleep about them not existsing

>>30565234
Pastebin please. I like this thread already.

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>>30570223
Good on you mystery anon. Don't stop ok?

>>30571146
Uncut.

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>>30571275
>he thinks that ctrl+s and manually typing out tags are the only way to spoiler

>>30566500
How tight is too tight? How tight are you SUPPOSED to grab it?

>>30570919
> any moron can take a bullet
You'd be surprised.

Been to r9k lately?

>>30565234
Fingers going into places that's all.
Also probably lasting in bed for 20 to 30 mins.

>>30570752
Probably, but imma love them anyway.

>>30570706
>A badass veteran soldier learning about friendship
Fund it.

>>30573023
>Diamond Tiara bullies the CmC
>Anon stands outside Filthy's house yelling his name in full battle gear
>Filthy is challenged to a duel
>Lions do not make promises to lambs

>>30573023
Ah yes, throwing little ponies through walls and breaking bones whenever they startle or sneak up on him.

>>30573470
>first thing that happened when he got to Ponyville was Pinkie popping out of a potted plant at him
>reflex hit her so hard she was knocked out

>>30573470
If I remember right, there was a green about PTSD Anon like that, big long ago.

I remember he woke up from a nightmare beating the shit out of Spike.

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>>30570223
>“Oh heavens.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just...humans…they’re so incredible, Rarity. They’re fascinating. I can’t just /not/ think about them anymore — like I’m going crazy! I-I just….j-just…”
>You wiggle your rump within the seat, trying to cross your quivering legs.
>Your wings fan out.
“N-ngh~!”
>“Twilight! Twilight, don’t you dare!” says Rarity.
>She knows you’re about to cum.
>She’s trying to stop you, no doubt.
>Unfortunately, you know it’s too late for her to stop you.
>As you begin to shudder uncontrollably, you close your eyes and tense your abdomen, hips bucking in your seat.
>A sound, one too far beyond your natural range, seeks to escape you, but the pleasure overshadows it, and a silent wail is all that you manage with some groans.
>Your wings start flapping wildly as the groans soon turn into eager pants and you begin rubbing your eager sex against your seat, momentarily blinded by your obsessive lust.
>“Good heavens, Twilight, look at you! Have you gone mad!?” asks a shocked and embarrassed Rarity.
>You have gone mad — mad with arousal.
>As your winking clit gushes your juices, climax arrives in a powerful wave, sweeping you over like a gust of wind.
“OooooooaaaaaAAAAHHHHH!!!!”
>Orgasm takes you into its blissful state, enrapturing your body into absolute euphoria.
>Overwhelmed and overtaken in absolute heaven, you swear for a second you see a human, staring at you with a friendly smile, giving you a ‘thumbs up’ as they called it.
>You start to giggle incessantly, and resume so, slumping into Rarity’s chair as you are taken back into the real world.
>Your friend blinks at you, guffawed by your sudden lewdity.
>“Twilight…what was that?” asks she, face red.
>You wipe your brow, panting lazily.
>Your legs still twitch from the pleasure.
“I-I’m…suh-sorry, Rarity…” you say, exasperated, “but I got…too…whew…”

>>30565382

>faked cumming as a male
But how?
Was the woman too dumb or drunk to notice that you didn't spurt?

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>>30573590
>With your magic, you proceed to grab your glass of wine and take a sip.
>Rarity however, pulls the glass away from your magical grip with her own.
>“Uh, I think you’ve had plenty enough wine for tonight, dear,” says Rarity with a nervous laugh.
>Not long after, post-orgasm clarity starts to return to you.
>You just made yourself cum.
>On Rarity’s chair,
>In front of Rarity.
“Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry!” you say, and quickly cover your face in your hooves. “I’m such an idiot! I can’t believe I just—”
>“There, there, Twilight…it’s, er, fine, I suppose. You just aren’t feeling quite well. Yes, that’s it. In fact,” says Rarity, a thought crawling across her mind, “maybe I have just the thing to help you.”
>At that, you peek your face out of your hooves.
“Y-you do?”
>“Why of course!” says Rarity, sipping her wine, “I believe I know what ails you as well!”
“What is it? Tell me, Rarity, what’s happening to me?” you ask, desperation in your voice.
>Rarity quickly peeks her head by the doorway, as if checking to see if anypony were present.
>Next, she begins closing the purple blinds to the window next to the kitchen table you both sit at.
>“Alright, Twilight…I believe I know what troubles you,” says Rarity, her voice a hushed whisper.
“You,” she says, pointing her hoof, “need a to relieve yourself in a more respectable manner.”
>Your cheeks feel like they’ve been scorched red, no doubt due to the wine and arousal.
“As in I need to masturbate more effectively or I /am/ masturbating to effectively?” you ask.
>Rarity grimaces.
>“Well, not exactly. Tell me, Twilight…do you, in fact, er…”
“Masturbate?”
>“Y-yes, that. Do you?”
>You sink into the chair a bit.
“Um, maybe a little.”
>Rarity raises a brow.
“Okay, e-every now and then.”
>“Twilight, don’t feel ashamed, I’m only trying to help you.”
>You sigh, averting her gaze.

>>30573594
You'd be surprised how many women demand you know everything about their vaginas but know hardly anything about dicks.

>>30570223
Dude, what the fuck was the point of all these details about rarara's kitchen
Why did you make me read all that fucking shit?

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>>30573600
“Okay. A lot. I clop a lot. I always have. I mean, it’s not like I get any action, you know? No one wanted to buck me, silly ol’ dorky Twilight. Being a princess is nice, though. If you like suitors. Which you shouldn’t.”
>“I see. So, then what?”
“So I clop! I always have. I clopped so much that I’ve become obsessed with the action itself!”
>Rarity nods thoughtfully.
>“Well, Twilight…I think I know what your problem is,” says Rarity. “You need to clop in a more healthy manner. Try to refine your moments of relief, darling. You shouldn’t just sit there, alone with your books and pleasure yourself in such a lonely, unhealthy manner. Try to spice it up a bit. Expand your horizons! Go to one of ‘those’ shops and buy something. Change your routine a little. You simply must learn how to manage yourself in these things if you plan to ‘save’ yourself.”
>You seriously consider her advice, but nevertheless, doubt creeps into your mind.
“I don’t know, Rarity…maybe that’s a bit much.”
>“Twilight, climaxing on my chair was a bit much. This is management for your arousal. You can either face it like a mare and embrace it in a healthy manner, or continue to let it burden you like you’ve let it. Imagine fantasizing about your glorious humans whilst experimenting with a new toy, hm?”
>You blush with a timid laugh.
“Now there’s a thought,” you say.
>“I believe it’s fine that you are so enveloped in these humans. It’s weird, yes, but it’s not harmful — unless you make it.”
>Then, a thought hits her.
>“Actually, let me tell you about this one shop in town that is simply incredible with matters such as these…”

—

>The next day, you bought almost one of everything in the adult store Rarity told you about.
>You thought of humans the whole time.
>Thank god Spike was out of town.


The end for real now.

>>30573603
Because I originally wanted to do a longer story but got tired. I also planned on them making dinner. I was hungry.

>>30573602

I...wouldn't, but, I feel like that's so basic that the woman would literally have to be either a virgin or somehow deficient.

I mean...I dunno, I guess you got a good point, but it still boggles me that such a thing could really be true even though I logically believe it can be true.

>>30573605
That got lewd fast.

>>30565234
Doing it belly-to-belly.
Perfect storm of lewd compared to equine anatomy.

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>>30573988
Oh man, their soft fur and squishy bellies would feel so good against bare skin.

>>30570706
Need

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>>30570654

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>>30565234
Some ponies might fetishize male circumcision. Makes me feel just a little bit better about it.

>>30573605
Honestly, Rarity probably would have just suggested that she get a real coltfriend.

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>>30574748
>implying Twilight would even consider cheating on her human husbando
For shame

>>30574743
You should not feel better about it.

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>>30574928
Thanks, anon, for helping me cope with my lifelong resentment.

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>>30574748
Probably. But it's ok to break from canon once in a while for the sake of a fun story.

>>30574748
What I was going to do was have her basically say that, but then I got tired.

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>>30574748
>"You really need to get laid, darling."

Smell.
Some mares like the smell of men, especially after a workout.

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>>30565234
I don't think anyone has said butts yet. They could be staring at our butts even more than we stare at theirs.

>>30575451
That's a good one, actually. Just about face height too.

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Definitely feet.

I'm sure Lyra would probably develop a kink for Anon's flip flops.
Or maybe fantasize on having her pussy rubbed by an oily foot, losing her mind over how squishy it feels as Anon's toes wiggle on her clit

>>30576243
I want to step on Lyra's vagina.

>>30576695
I want to wear Lyra and her marefriend around the house like slippers.

>>30573602
When my wife wants sex and I don't, I'll sometimes fake it too. I just tell her I jerked off earlier in the day, and that satisfies her curiosity.

>>30574016
And crotchtits. Don't forget the crotchtits.

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>>30576977
>And crotchtits
oh my

I think it would be their dominance. How a human can take a wild horse and make it their own.

If we are going for Equestria girls version, I think it would be pony play. Either Sunset or Twilight see how horses are treated in that world and are turned on by thinking of it being them. Full on briddle and blinders with the bit gag. Twilight would go back and be almost constantly aroused and buy a lot of stuff from Rarity's (if you look at her stuff from the first season she had a bit gag with some kink of body suit thing, I'm pretty sure Rarity made pony bdsm stuff early on) shop under a bad fake name and have it mailed to the castle.

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>>30577432

As part of the dominance thing, some might get turned on by a human picking them up and carrying them. Sort of like a predator carrying it's prey to feast on back at its dwelling.

>>30565326
>Our teeth. We're predators, we can bite stuff, that'd be huge on the whole powerplay scene
Contrary to popular belief, humans aren't predators and our teeth don't look predatory either.

>>30577888
this. well, this as far as the not looking predatory. If you go buy the number of animals that humans have historically hunted and killed, then we are apex predators. But some predators like their steak well done ;)

>>30578577
Ecologically, homo sapiens is the world's first superpredator.

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>>30575451

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defo the endurance

"What do you mean 'he went for a full minute'?" you say to Rarity and the the other girls sat on their cushions
>Rarity blushed before taking a sip of her wine glass
>they're all drinking some sweet wine or cider in Applejacks case, enjoying a grown-ups night with dirty stories and alcohol
>you where invited having become best friends with the girls
>also because they wanted to know of dirty human stories
>girls will be girls
>"Well," rarity continued "my first time was with this skinny but very stylish unicorn from Canterlot, he was experienced and used his magic to... stop himself, so to speak and with that he treated me to a full minute of passion I'll never forget!"
>Applejack nodded smiling at the thought.
>rainbow dash was laughing with pinkie probably at their own jokes.
>Twilight scooted over to Rarity
>"That must have been so romantic." she said with dreamy eyes
"Wait wait wait, hold the phone," you say confused "you mean a MINUTE, one whole minute, like... 60 seconds... of sex."
>"Well, yes i know it's hard to believe." rarity said
>"you did say magic was involved to be completely fair." twilight pointed out
>"oh, twilight with how he handled me i bet he could have done 30 seconds easily." they giggled
>you sit there wondering what to do with this new information
>you're no Chad Thundercock by any means but you have experiance with the female anatomy and you know for damn sure you can last for more than 10 minutes
>you must be some kind of sexual god to these ponies
>the thought of fucking one of the girls till she is nothing more than an barely conscious sex filled ragged mess is almost too much.
>more research is required.
>especially on what positions they favor
>you grab another bottle of wine.

>>30569341
S A U C E

>>30577888
>hunted multiple species to extinction before we even had guns
>not predators
wew

>>30578672
Keep going

>>30578672
MORE. NOW.

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>>30578672
Yes

>>30577888
No, you're right, we're not predators, we're super predators
We're actually the only species that could be considered that, and we'll stay that way until we find aliens

And yes, I'm sorry, but our teeth are wildly different from a herbivore's
Of course we're no lion or no shark, but our teeth aren't blunt
The most important part is that they LOOK different from a horse's, and our canines are exposed

>>30578723
Since you're a predator neither in terms of morphology nor behavior, you'd need to rely on two things: ponies believing your claim that your species kills millions and millions of animals, and ponies finding the mere concept of killing millions and millions of animals hot.

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>>30578801
>>30578829
>>30578857

Oh geez, okay.

>>30578871
>binocular color vision
>canine teeth
>entire body is optimized for endurance running
>not a predator in terms of morphology
keep digging, brainlet

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>>30577888
>humans aren't predators
U wut, m8?
>our teeth don't look predatory
True, but only because our hands/tools fill that niche.

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>>30578888
Don't animugirl us and write. Also nice quads.

>>30578903
>binocular color vision
Present in many non-predatory species.
>canine teeth
Also present in many non-predatory species, such as horses. Also, have you seen a chimp's canines?
>entire body is optimized for endurance running
As in many non-predatory species.
You were saying?

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>>30578672
MOAR!!!

>>30578903
In the meantime, can you also explain

>Physical inferiority to brother/sister species
>Herbivore-type digestive system
>Molars
>Hands optimized for picking and other delicate work rather than grabbing and combat

>>30578980
Also, we can't eat meat raw. Humans didn't start consuming meat until fire was invented, because we NEED it in order to digest it properly.

Humans are herbivores.

>>30578903
>entire body is optimized for endurance running
Sure if you're an African nigger.

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>>30578984
>humans didnt eat meat until fire was invented
But that's fucking wrong, you retard.

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>>30578960
>have you seen a chimp's canines?
Chimps are predators too, m8.

Just because we don't have the physiology present in most predators doesn't mean we don't fill that niche. Humans have hunted countless species to extinction: We're predators by nature.
>>30578984
>Humans didn't start consuming meat until fire was invented
That isn't even close to true.
>Humans are herbivores.
Get off my planet, faggot.

>>30578996
>Chimps are predators too, m8.
No shit. Now compare their canines with ours.

>>30578672
>you excuse yourself and head to the kitchen of twilight's castle home
>grabbing a bottle of wine you start to think
>Rarity had a night she'd never forget from some loser who couldn't even last longer than 30 seconds
>you actually feel kind of sorry for her
>on the other hand, hoof. that's just their biology nature dictates they can't last longer.
>and maybe animals that last longer would look down on humans.
>oh well, enough armchair psychology time to get lewd
>you head back in, the girls are still talking about boyfriends they have had (and want)
"So, Rarity, was it romantic did he treat you right. take you to dinner, walk you home," you top up her glass "that sort of thing?"
>"complete gentlecolt, from start to finish but i was so young we tried dating long term but we never clicked, a shame really." she says drinking some more
"What about you Twilight, any romance stories to share?"
>she laughs
>"I never left my study to even make friends, let alone coltfriends, the only time i ever saw a good looking colt was when i looking through my telescope!" she said embarrassed
>Rarity playfully shoved her side
>"Oh you devilish mare, since when did you have a naughty side and why are we only now finding out!"
"seems twilight is the kind of girl who watches through the windows."
>"W.. WHAT NO don't be silly, i never meant it like that!" she laughed
"oh and to think," you add playfully "I never close my curtains, maybe you caught a sight of me a few times hey Twilight!"
>"ANON!" she yelled
"If you wanted to see my body, all you had to do was ask Twilight." you tease by slowly lifting up your shirt just slightly.
>Twilight is in full sperg-mode
"Want me to keep going, Twi?"
>Rainbow dash, pinkie pie and applejack all yell "YES!" obviously enjoying Twilight's awkwardness.
"You always said you wanted to learn about human bodies, Twi, let me educate you."
>"All right that's enough Anon." Rarity said with a smile
>Twilight is bright red hiding behind her glass.

>>30578871
How are we not predators in behavior? Humans eat meat and hunt every day.

>>30577432
It would be like a rodeo.

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>>30579011

>>30579008
Humans have smaller canines because we no-longer require them to tear our food apart.
There's more to being a predator than specific morphology: predators come in all shapes and sizes.

>>30578871
According to the Wikipedia article on humans, humans are predators.

What, did you think we were prey? What was our historical predator?

>>30579012
Just look up the percentage of the members of our species that kill animals and you'll see.

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>>30578980
>Herbivore-type digestive system
Are you actually retarded?

>>30578980
We're omnivores, not herbivores.

>>30579033
Just because we've ben cucked by agriculture and most of us kill animals by proxy these days doesn't make us any less predatory.

>>30579033
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunting#Paleolithic

>While it is undisputed that early humans were hunters, the importance of this for the emergence of the Homo genus from the earlier Australopithecines, including the production of stone tools and eventually the control of fire, are emphasised in the hunting hypothesis and de-emphasised in scenarios that stress omnivory and social interaction... [etc]

Humans have been hunting for over a half million years, and that's just how far back we've found hunting tools.

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>>30578984
>we can't eat meat raw
???????

>>30579042
>dat sheep stomach capacity
they'll drink you under the fucking table

>>30579057
>we're no longer hunters
I rest my case.

>>30579030
Just because we are predators doesn't mean we didn't get preyed on. Polar bears hunt humans specifically.

>>30579011
Con - tin - ue.

>>30578984
I eat raw meat all of the time it's no problem

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>>30579033
What does that have to do with it? We're omnivore, but we're still predators. Most people who don't have very much meat in their diets only live that way because they don't have access to it.
Who the fuck fed you this "humans are herbivores" bullshit?

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>Falling for the bait.
The only saving grace is that i'm imagining this as an argument between Anon and Twiggle.

>>30579068
In Vietnam, they eat still-beating snake hearts.

>>30579076
We hunt cows and chickens by the millions. My parents have some chickens and bunnies and we sometimes kill and eat them.

>>30579083
PETA, probably

>>30579077
>Polar bears hunt humans specifically.
Is this a joke? You think polar bears evolved to hunt humans? I can't believe you're serious.

>>30579087
>preying on domesticated animals
Cool oxymoron, bro.

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>>30579086

>>30579076
What part of that post implied that?
A lot of humans still hunt their food (including me). Even more humans fish. We're predators.
Just because you have some other human do your hunting for you, so you can buy it at a store, doesn't make you any less of a predator.
>>30579096
Domestic animals are still animals.

>>30579083
Look up the definition of predator.

>Who the fuck fed you this "humans are herbivores" bullshit?
What the fuck are you talking about? Seriously, what are you referring to?

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>>30579096
We're such superpredators that we trap our prey from birth to death.

>>30579102
No predatory skills or abilities are required to "hunt" domesticated animals. Eating steak doesn't make you a predator no matter how much you wish to be one.

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>>30579086
>"I don't believe it, Anon. Predator? Warrior? Feel yourself! Your body is warm, your hands are dexterous, your body fat builds in all the right places, and you have just the right ratio of fur-to-skin to be soft."
>"Human bodies are clearly optimized for cuddling and hugs."

>>30579126
Welp, you're right, Twiggles. In actuality we're cuddle predators. We snuggle our prey to death. And now... Come 'ere!

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>>30579011
>applejack downs her cider
>"you could tell us about humans though, yah never told us what's it's like for ya'll, do your mares have those.. erm what's it called... Rarity help me out 'ere, you the fella acts all fancy like."
>"You mean courtship rituals darling?"
>"Tha's the one!"
>it begins
"Plenty, just meeting a decent girl is a dance in of it'self," pinkie raises a hoof "not literally pinkie."
>her hoof goes down
>a good story should get them interested, and decide you need to elaborate some details
>just a bit after all, no good story is without it.
>a tiny bit though, you want something better than you last girlfriend which was just 'you meet in a club, you went home with her and and had 20 mins of drunken sex and becoming her boyfriend for a couple of months
"Take my last girlfriend for instance. we met a while back in a.. park she was this sexy girl with long hair and slender body who wore this beautiful dress
>or you know, just complete outright lying.
"Anyway, we started dating, we went out and fooled around a few time, made out in the movie, that sort of thing."
>the girls listened with rapt attention, even fluttershy who had remained quiet this whole night.
"then one day she invites me over to her place, her parents are out and we got the place to ourselves."
>"So, TELL US!" rainbow dash said.
>the girls nodded in agreement
"well the first thing you need to know, as i'm sure you've already guessed is that our biology, the way we work is different to you girls. we have all the same bits, sans horns and wings obviously but all the rest is the same it's just our bodies last a lot longer."
>the girls looked excited
"We guys don't last 30 seconds, we can fuck for an hour."
>Rarity's wine glass dropped from her magical grip
"and the whole thing, from start to finish can be up to 3 hours long in some cases."
>"w..what!" Pinkie said
"Even better is that humans only need to break for about ten minutes or so and we can go again for EVEN longer."

>>30579108
>predator.
>"an animal that naturally preys on others."
Humans prey on other animals all the time.
Ah, sorry. I thought you were >>30578984

>>30579112
You don't need "skills" or abilities to be a predator. Being a predator means preying on other animals.
By your logic, a lion isn't a predator, because it allows lionesses to hunt for it.
Anyway, humans do have skills that allow them to fill the predator niche: having capacity for using tools and cooperating with others is what allowed the human genus to hunt their way through the ice age.
A lot of humans still hunt/fish for their food too. Humans have been predators for millions of years, and apex predators at that, and humans continue to be so to this very day.

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>>30579134
Uh oh, the tables have turned.

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>>30579151
I still consider this a good end.

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>>30579141

>>30579102
Hunting is a past time and a sport. We very rarely hunt for food (only large-scale fishing remains) and when we do, it's not for survival. We use domestic animals for food. When we do hunt, we use artificial tools rather than the inherent devices of our bodies. We may be predators in some strange sense of the world, but we're not classified as predators.

>>30579192
We are classified as predators. Ecologically, humans are the unique global superpredator. That's the scientific term for our biological niche.

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>>30579236
>rarara is a slut meme

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>>30579141

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>>30579141
>their faces are priceless
>Twilight looks on the verge of hyperventilating
>Applejack is just eying you up and down
>Rainbow dash is dreamy eyed in fantasy land
>Pinkie looks ready to pounce you (but to be fair that's Pinkie normally)
>Fluttershy looks confused
>and Rarity is looking at you with a hunger
"So yeah, for humans sex usually starts with foreplay, we strip each others cloths off, and get ourselves excited using... well you know, hands, mouth... maybe a bit of biting here and there."
"Some times we finish just from the foreplay, without even getting to the best parts and that can usually last about 10 minutes depending on wether or not both people are ready to actually fuck."
>silence form the girls
>Twilight mutters something under her breath
>sounded like 'go on'
>who are you to deny these girls their stories.
"So anyway, we start fooling around on her bed, i'm biting he ear softly, rubbing her breasts with one hand and fingering her with the other."
>in reality what really happened is you only remember drunkenly fucking her, before shouting something about releasing the kraken and being sick in her bathroom
>your story will have none of that.
"She came so we started having proper sex, and we did it for just a little less than an hour, before we moved to the shower and started fucking again there."
"great thing about shower sex is that the clean up is so much easier." you finished and drank some more of the wine
"so yeah, that was my last girlfriend before all this, and that's mostly how humans do things."
>the girls looked jealousy but tried not to show it
>rarity looked rather sad.
>Pinkie was the first to speak
>"Well, i't's getting late, think i might go home now, gots lots to dos. haha.. ha.. ha."
>she walked out with her hind legs shaking slowly with each step
>Y.. yeah me too." Rainbow added before flying off
>the others stay.
>Applejack sits next to you


hate to leave it there but i'll be back later

>>30579234
I think the actual term is "apex predator", which in the case of humans is used to indicate that there is no species we're prey to. We don't prey on animals, though. I doubt humans are widely considered a "predatory species".

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>>30579264

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>>30579126
>She'll never pin you against the couch and hug and snuggle you until you admit that she's right, even if she's not
Fuckkkkkkk
How the fuck did this get to me

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>>30579289
/mlp/ - We know how to feel

>>30579276
We prey on cows and pigs and chickens and many others. We are such predators that we trap them from birth to death.

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>>30579264
>i'll be back later
Y-you too.

>>30579264
I'm interested in seeing the rest too

>>30579192
>We use domestic animals for food.
Eating domestic animals doesn't make you any less of a predator. Just because you keep your meat in a tiny pen so it can't get away doesn't mean your not preying on it.
>When we do hunt, we use artificial tools rather than the inherent devices of our bodies.
Our capacity to learn to use such tools is an inherent device in our bodies.
>we're not classified as predators.
By who?
I'm an anthropology major and a biology minor: I know for a fact that humans are classified as predators in both schools.

>>30579264
I don't like Anon act like a attention whore.

Just keep secret, that will be perfect story.

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>>30579192

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>>30579335
>teasing them and making them wet themselves until they can't take it anymore and pounce on him = attention whoring
I don't know where you're from, and I really don't care, but you need to get the fuck out

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>>30579346
>show mu stamina those little pony human maste race
>i can fuck 3 days without rest lelelele
>better told them about my sex life

>>30579335
You come back when you speaka da engrish

>>30579264
>Whore
at this point I forgot what the story is about

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>>30579289
>>30579291
>Ponies are apex predators of the heart.

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>>30579264
Holy shit this dialogue is awful. No other way to put it, it's just absolutely awful.

>>30579407
>engrish
>The Americans were loud, belligerent, and intolerant to the Japanese and English.

>>30579434
B-bruh
Hold me

>>30579335
>>30579384

writer here
I don't see that working to be perfectly frank

the point of the story was that they are sharing sexual experiences and Anon is shocked and amused by pony stamina
if you want to write your own version please go ahead by all means!

>>30579441
what do you find wrong with it?

>>30579451
It makes me physically recoil.

>>30579451
Ignore them, it's great

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>>30579451
>write your own version please go ahead by all means!
Ok.

>>30579465
That's not very helpful Anon, what about it is wrong and could you give examples

>>30579466
if there /is/ criticism it shouldn't be ignored we would never learn how to come better that way.

>>30579481
that's great Anon, i'm glad you can express yourself through writing.

>>30579276
>I doubt humans are widely considered a "predatory species"
Humans are the only creature to hunt every type of animal and cause others to go extinct

>>30579465
That's not a proper answer.

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>>30578984
>we can't eat meat raw
Tribal people do it all the time

>>30579430
In case you forgot, it is about anon bragging a little about how long humans can last in comparison to pones, faggot.
Imagine your whole life you've been experiencing just one minute max of pleasure, leaving your pleasure potential in the trash, and then some human comes along and tells you that he can last for a hour, for them it is like you having your first time with a sex goddess.

Would human dicks be weird to ponies?

They are used to flat tips and medial rings

>>30579384
The whole fucking story is about Anon lasting an unimaginable amount of time for the horses, dunno why you're getting pissed about him rubbing it in their faces
Lemme guess you're one of those 'hurr ponies are sex gods and humans are shit' faggot that spam griffins and shit?

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>>30579192
>predator (plural predators)
>any animal or other organism that hunts and kills other organisms (their prey), primarily for food

>>30579264
>usually last about 10 minutes
I mean, yeah, if the two are eager to get it going then foreplay isn't going to be a longe vent, but still, spending a good amount of time on foreplay pays off.

>>30579543
That's why people play on ponies liking the hot monkey dick, like how some of us like horse cocks.

>>30579510
Is that a seal?

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>>30574016

>>30579683
Nah, you can see the animal had fur. Look at the ribs on the right.

>>30579481
Give link you nigger

>>30579701
You're right. It's probably somekind of stag then.

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I want to massage ponies and teach them the pleasure of fingers.
Pardon the >nohooves

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>>30579707
>nigger
>The chicken chaser

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>>30579510
>was just watching a documentary on African tribalism
They sure love drinking blood straight from the source and eating the heart and liver as soon as the animal is killed

>>30579068
>medium rare
hippy

>>30579773
At least way up north you don't have to worry so much about diseases and parasites, but holy shit no wonder Africans are so diseased.

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>>30579943
Blue or nothin.

>>30579965
In Japan, they have Wagyu beef sashimi. They also eat shikasashi, raw deer meat.

>>30565243

would oblige

>>30574467
We need this. Writefags?

>>30580038
Did you try the raw deer meat? How was it? Im a huge fan of venison, but never tried it raw.

>>30580142
We need a Warrior in Equestria general.

>>30579008
What is evolution with the fact humans have been using stone tools to kill and harvest meat for almost 3 million years?

>>30580145
I would take one bite if I encountered it and knew it was safe. I love every raw food I've encountered except raw shrimp. Monk fish liver, sea urchin with quail egg, oh my gosh, there is nothing better than the Japanese raw preparations.

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>>30580200
All that sounds great... Time to find an authentic japanese restaurant in my town.

>>30580142
>>30580166

but theres nothing for him to fight

>>30580166
It's called Anon in Equestria, except you make the story based around Anon being a warrior. That doesn't need a general.

>>30580212
>Diamond dogs
>Changelings
>Griffons
>Dragons
>Beasts from the everfree
There's plenty.

>>30580222
griffons aren't evil
dragons aren't evil

the others i accept

>>30580235
Who says griffons and dragons don't have rebel armies? Diamond dogs seem like bandits too.

>>30580235
So for one, who cares, you can make them evil for the sake of the story
Secondly, from all we've seen, they're not nice either
And third, who gives a fuck if they're evil or not, there's no 'good vs evil' in the real world anon, that's not how it works, it's all about point of views
That griffin just stepped on your petunias? Just fuck him up! You're doing it for the good, right?

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>>30579543

>>30580314
>it's got a party hat!

Now I just imagine Pinkie after getting your pants off just loves how your dick looks that she forgets about sex/foreplay and spends an unreasonable amount of time poking it and commenting on it's funny shape and how much she likes how goofy it is.

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>>30580235
>griffons aren't evil

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>>30580473
>Not imagining Ponka playfully playing with your dick, poking it and giving it kisses and giggling with every throbs it gives her in return
>Not imagining her doing just that for what feels like hours, just caresses and pecks, nothing more, every groans and grunts escaping your throat making her shiver and her hind legs quiver in anticipation
>Not imagining her edging you, bringing you oh so close to your release, and stopping right before it comes
>Not imagining her asking you if you were having fun and grinning when an animalistic groan resonates in your throat when you'd feel her tongue giving your underside a long, slow lap
>Not imagining her sighing contently when you start begging her for release, telling her that you'd do anything
>Not imaging her making you Pinkie promise to stop being a grumpy asshole and to do your best to be happy and smile from now on
>Not imagining her gulping the entirety of your cock at once the second you'd give her your word
>Not imagining her giggling with your cock still lodged deep down her gullet, spasming and throbbing with every spurts you give her
>Not imagining her tending to your pride for another five minutes, humming happily, licking it clean and kissing it until it doesn't throb anymore, until there's not one drop of your love left in there
I think you're gay

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>>30570654
>>30580166

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>>30580650
Thank you for the boner Anon

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>>30580690
All according to keikaku

>>30580195
What's so special about being a "predator" to ponies if they can easily replicate what your retarded ancestors had to do hundreds of thousands of years ago in order to survive?

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>>30580940
Oh you are one of those...

>>30580952
You know... Okay, I admit it, I'm secretly a juggler. I like juggling. Big deal.

>>30579492
Ignore the faggots.
Look at how much attention you've got and how many are protecting you.
It's a good sign.

>>30565255
This

2 minutes would be record breaking

>>30565287
I'd bet the average person on here would last at least 90 seconds no matter what

>>30581402
And even then, you can still go for a while after ejaculation.

>>30581402
>>30581402

I'd say 5-10 minutes is probably about right.

“Wait. Hold up,” you say, giving Applejack a look of confusion, “did you say one whole minute?”
>The orange mare proudly chuckled, crossing her legs in your rocking chair with a wry smile.
>“Eyup,” she says, tipping her stetson, “a full minute of pure buckin’ and ruttin’!”
>“By Celestia’s Sun, that’s incredible,” says an impressed Twilight Sparkle. “And this was just a regular colt?”
>“Oh, he wuddn’t no colt. He was pure stallion.”
>“Ha! Yeah, I’m calling ponyfeathers on that,” laughs a voice from the side of the room.
>All eyes shift to see Rainbow Dash, lying in a chair of yours like it were a poorman’s bed, lounging in the thing like a cat.
>“I mean, come /on/, Aj; you don’t seriously expect me to believe that you had a whole minute of sex with somepony, do you? Most dudes can barely even make it to four thrusts, let alone ten seconds.”
>“Yeah, and they almost never get they’re whole silly-willies inside!” says Pinkie, sitting on your couch.
>“Okay, well, I’ll admit that he didn’t get it all the way inside, but he went on fer a whole minute,” says Applejack. “I was practically speakin’ in tongues by the time we was done!”
“Huh. Uh, neat,” you say, and hold your kettle of tea near Rarity’s cup. “More tea?”
>“Yes, please,” she says, and she contributes to conversation as you begin to pour.
>“I’ve personally had experiences with stallions that go on for, say, thirty seconds,” says she, speaking with a bit of class despite being on such a ‘dirty’ topic. “It’s not often, but I believe it.”
>You finish pouring her tea and raise the kettle for all to see.
“Anyone else need more tea?”
>Your living room answers with collective murmurs of ‘no thank you’ or ‘I’m good, Anon’ and so on.
“Alright. Let me know if you guys do,” you say, and place the kettle back atop the table, finally able to sip your own tea.

>>30581576
>As you do, you notice the room becomes silent, suddenly.
>Lifting your eyes from your teacup, you see all of your guests staring at you.
“…What?”
>At that, they all avert their eyes from your gaze, clearing their throats and the like.
>Awkward.
>The mares continue to talk, starting with Pinkie, unsurprisingly, picking the conversation back up.
>“So what’s the longest /you/ ever had, Dashie?” she asks.
>Immediately, the pegasus’s sky-blue cheeks turn wine-red.
>“What? Y-you mean…me?” stammered she.
>“Yuh-huh! C’mon, tell us!” urges Pinkie.
>Rainbow, however, grimaces.
>“I-I’d rather not,” she says nervously. “Why don’t you go first, Pinkie?”
>“Hm…okay! The longest I’ve ever had a stallion rut me was for…umm…ummmmm…”
>Finally, with a snap of her hooves (how the fuck?), she recalls the time it took.
>“Oh, yeah! About fourteen seconds!” she says, then laughs. “He was really funny. What about you, Twilight?”
>“Five seconds,” she says, recoiling into her mane with a cute, rosy-cheeked smile. “It was really, really awkward. Usually I just, uh, clop instead…”
>She looks down to have a sip of tea only to find her cup empty.
>“Um, more tea, please, Anon,” she says politely.
“I gotcha,” you say.
>You get up and pour the warm liquid into her cup.
>With a tiny thank you, you give her a smile and a nod, then wonder back.
>That’s when the others go quiet again, staring at you.
>You sigh.
“Ok, what is it? This is the second time you guys just stared at me. Something wrong?”
>They all blush, looking at each other.
>Through silent agreement and careful eye contact, it is decided that Applejack speaks up.
>“Nothin’s wrong, sugarcube, iust…well, ya seem awful quiet on the subject is all. We aren’t makin’ ya feel left out, are we?” asks she. “Usually ya add a little more to our talks when we gather at yer place fer tea.”

>>30581588
“Yeah,” chirps Pinkie, “what do YOU think, Nonny-non?”
>You sigh.
“Let’s just say I have a hard time relating with your stallions,” you say. “You know, different species and all that.”
>It’s then that Twilight gasps.
>“Oh…oh, I think I understand now,” she says.
>Guilt starts to cloud over her face.
>“I’m sorry, I-I should have guessed that, well, since your from apes, and, um…L-let’s talk about something else, girls.”
“What? No, no, finish that sentence, Twi. What were you gonna say?”
>She looks at the other ponies around the room, nervous for your sake.
>“Are you sure you want to them to hear it?” she asks.
>You nod.
“Yeah, so I know we’re on the same page.”
>She sighs.
>“Well, I thought that maybe we were making you feel less, um, masculine because, since you’re of a different species, you can’t last as long as a, er…stallion.”
>You stare at Twilight.
>She, out of nervousness, begins to babble on more.
>“Y-you know, because apes generally tend to have smaller genitals and last for a short amount of time! And, um, hearing us talk about stallions must make you feel really insecure, and, um….yeah.”
>The other mares look at Twilight, then guiltily look at you.
>“Oh. So we were…ouch, Anon. Sorry,” says Rainbow. “Didn’t know we were making fun of you.”
>“Yeah, me too,” says Applejack. “I shoulda just kept my mouth shut.”
>What is going on.
>“Er, don’t worry, Anon! It’s normal for some stallions, too!” says Rarity. “It doesn’t make you any less of a male.”
>Eventually, the whole room breaks out into apologizing.
>You sigh.
“Ok, I’ma stop you all right now, cause you’re all sorts of wrong,” you say, silencing the room. “Trust me, I’m NOT jealous of your stallions, ok?”
>“What? What do you mean?” asks Twilight.
>With a sigh, you shake your head.

>>30581599
“Look, um, you have it all wrong about humans if you think we don’t last long, alright. We last waaay longer than other primates. Hell, than most animals at all, to be honest.”
>“Ooooh, like how much longer?” asks Pinkie, a playful tone of intrigue in her voice.
“I don’t know, usually last about, oh…twenty minutes?”
>Suddenly, you cringe at the sound of five tea cups shattering all at once, all dropped.
>The room enters a deep silence.
>You fill it by further explaining yourself.
“Well, sometimes. Each human lasts differently. But yeah, humans are very picky with their mates. We love sex. And we’re the most hung of primates, too. Our dicks grow up anywhere from about five to eight inches on average with varying girths.”
>“But that’s how long a stallion is!” says a heated Rarity, fanning herself.
>“C-can you get it inside, usually? M-most quadrupeds usually struggle getting their entire member i-inside of females,” stammers Rainbow Dash.
>You nod.
“Yeah. I get my whole dick inside.”
>“Holy canoli!” exclaims Pinkie.
>“This is…this is very interesting,” says Twilight. “We should look into this, Anon. D-do you know how long the typical mare lasts?”
>He shrugs.
“I don’t think so, no.”
>“I last about two minutes,” says Twilight. “And I’m very, very sensitive. That’s just when I’m clopping alone.”
>“Three minutes for me,” says Applejack, “It’s rare I find me somepony that makes me cum.”
>“And I, too, last two minutes,” mentions Rarity.
>“One and half!” says Pinkie.
>Finally, all turn to Rainbow Dash.
>She sinks into her chair.
>“T-twenty seconds,” she murmurs.
>You blink for a moment at her.
“Whew, lad.”
>Rarity bats her lashes.
>“So, tell me this, Anon,” she says, “have you had any sexual escapades whilst spending time here in Equestria?”
>Your forehead slickens with sweat.
“I, uh…”

>>30581611

>“Is it a yes” she says, trying to push the words out of your mouth, “or a no, Anon?”
>You shift your eyes away from the girls, staring down at the floor.
“No. No I haven’t.”
>“Aww, poor Nonners!” says Pinkie. “I’ll buck with you if you want!”
>Just the way she says that…like it’s so normal…
>Weird.
>But still…
“Really? Just like that? Y-you don’t give yourself away to guys that easily, do ya?”
>Pinkie flais her hoof, blowing raspberries.
>“Psh! ‘Course not! I just like you, Anon!” she says happily, “and if I think you’re great, and I want sex, and you want sex, and it’ll be good sex...then let’s buck!”
>You blink in surprise.
“Well. That sounds awesome.”
>“Hey! W-what about me?” asks Rainbow. “I’m down to fuck, too!”
>“And, um, if you want to see me,” says Twilight Sparkle, blushing, “I’ll be happy to have you over. You know. For anything.”
>“And the same goes for moi, dear Anonymous,” says Rarity. “You’re welcome to my boutique any time.”
>You look at Applejack, expecting her to say something similar.
>Instead, she winks with a grin.
“Hope ya like ropes.”
>You look at all the mares before you, staring at your bod as if it were candy.
“This is…this is new…”
>Then, you realize something…
“Hey, Fluttershy? How come you haven’t said anything? You down to fuck?”
>The whole room looks over the Fluttershy.
>She’s in a chair, curled in a ball, face redder than the blood spilling down from her nose.
>Then, with a ‘meep’, she turns pale and faints out of the chair like a sack of potatoes.
>“Gosh,” says Dash, “what buckin’ prude.”

The End

I might have made this while on extreme painkillers.