Anon in Pone Prison #54

>rape

>>30564581
Qt p0ners are for hug. Not fug.
Unless they are succubi
Or from ded stories

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Dead

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>>30564575
Maybe we need some discussion.

>>30564575
That's because it was a raid thread.

>>30567049
If the older thread hadn't died early without linking to a new one, that would not have happened.

anyone have the thread before last?

>>30568374
You mean the one with the trap or the one before the trap?
Either way, I have in the history the old one.
>>>30286282
Who needs to delete history of Chrome on my Job computer anyway

>>30568402
thanks m8
so in pony prison, what would be contraband items?

>>30568926
Safety scissors, candies (especially churros), probably a spoon to hit guards with it.

>>30564575
Maybe this is a sign your general is dead and has run its course like most generals here.

>>30569400
all generals are dead, from the moment of their creation, they will slowly march towards eventual oblivion
But for now, we do our best to enjoy pone prison and delicious pudding cups

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Don't say we're dead yet, I want to finish my story.

>>30570685
/fit/ thread here, don't give up.

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>>30572108
ok

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I'll try to write this evening when it gets cooler.

>>30572052

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>>30574082

at least we don't have endless shitposting then brief spurts of green
like RGRE

>Lovestruck stops and tugs at your prison scrubs.
>”Anon, I’m worried about this. What if Celestia beats us there?”
>You bend down and kiss her nose.
“No worries. See that stone there?”
>You point to the turquoise star on her uniform.
“The guard told me that it deflects magic. You’ll be safe with that on.”
>She chuckles.
>”That was pretty stupid of him to let that slip so easily.”
>You can’t help but laugh about it too.
“C’mon Love, we need to hurry.”
>You and your pink pony wife make haste.
>The quiet run there is more boring than you expected. It’s ambiently lighted by various luminescent crystals about the size of ponies.
>No different than the hall near the cell.
>But before long, you see orange, glowing light at the end of the tunnel.
>And two figures appear just as you reach the rounded, open space before the exit.
>It’s Celestia and Luna, looking intensely at you and the guard that is your lover.

>>30577102
>There is a heavy silence that lasts about 5 seconds.
>Luna breaks it first.
>”Thank you, honorable guard. You have saved us the trouble of finding the human ourselves.”
>You step forward, provoking a gasp from Lovestruck. She appears to not know whether to stop you or speak out.
“Celestia, you didn’t give me a choice when you imprisoned me here out of pettiness. And Luna, you attacked me, unprovoked.”
>”SILENCE, FOAL. You are a threat to Equestria, that much is sure now. It matters not the pretense of your insolence!”
>By now, you slowly edged yourself to the tunnel entrance where you’re supposed to go.
>And you turn on your heel and dash with great speed.
>You hear the enraged dark princess shout after you.
>”Guards, follow him! He cannot be allowed to escape!”
>Things are turning out in your favor, Lovestruck must be the closest guard, and the other stamping hooves seem distant.
>POP!
>Both princesses have teleported ahead of you, with sharp, glowering eyes.
>You smirk as you only pick up speed and launch in with your shoulder.
>As close together as they are, you burst through them, making them plummet to their sides with hard slams.
>You look behind you as you keep running, and see the lone guard running far behind, and the princesses look angrily your direction.
>Celestia’s horn glows and fires a beam you way.
>It’s going to hit! No avoiding it!
>PING! The beam is directed upward as it strikes Ebola’s armor.
>She smirks and takes off the helm, revealing her true colors, both literally and figuratively as well.
>She continues running, following as close as she can. The princesses leave your sight as the cave turns.

>>30577105
>You are getting tired, as you and Love been running 5 minutes.
>You figure that the princesses aren’t teleporting to you on account that they’re afraid or too weak.
>None too soon, you’ve reached an enormous opening, glowing with skylights on gold and valuables.
>In front of it is a thing you’ve only seen in fantasy films and video games.
>It’s a dragon, at the size you’d expect. It towers over you with its immensity.
>Blood red scales, orange crests, and teeth that seem to be half your height.
>It opens one sharp, yellow eye and rises his upper body to greet you with great presence.
>”WHO AWAKENS THE MIGHTY KRUHKAN?!”
>The heavy, deep voice rumbles the cave.
>As a show of humility you drop to one knee, hoping Discord’s advice doesn’t get you eaten alive. Ebola does the same, shivering with a tears of fear.
“I-I ask for your help.”
>You moves his head toward you, responding to your voice. It’s very menacing, and you can’t help but shake in instinctual fear.
>”What could you possibly ask of me, hairless ape?”
“I need your strength, to make the princesses cower and flee.”
>”Why do you seek a dragon for this task? I see no benefit to me.”

>>30577110
>You ponder this deeply for a moment, and rise your head.
“Because I could set you free of this prison.”
>The beast laughs heartily, and the ground shakes in response.
>”Interesting. I’ve longed for the day these shackles tether me no longer. Very well, human, I accept.”
“You know what I am?”
>”The dragons once associated with a tribe of humans, long ago. They were cut down, attempting to slay our kind without reason.”
>You think on the humans in your realm and begin to sympathize with the dragon.
>He sounds a lot friendlier than he looks.
“That’s awful. But I suppose they got what they deserved.”
>”You say some intriguing things, human. We’ll explore that later, however. It appears your rulers have appeared.”
>You turn around and insult them condescendingly to their faces.
“They don’t rule me, and they’ll regret having whisked away all the kind folks who live here.”
>They scowl, but remain quiet.
>They look half beaten already to your surprise, but their scrapes aren’t bleeding. Healing magic?
>Kruhkan gets up, causing a mess of gold to rain to clatter and ring.
>”Princess Celestia, Luna, it’s been a /very/ long time.”
>He says with a more confrontational demeanor.
>They’re visibly shaken as he looks deeply at them.
“Anon here is my friend. I don’t think you’d want to die idly in cinders.”
>He gives a toothy smile to the opposing two.
>”D-Damn thee! Sister, let’s go!”
>With a quick flash of light, they disappear, Leaving nothing but dust in their wake.

>>30570685
Get on my level bruh

Early morning bump.

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>>30577113
You better petting they tuff.

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>>30577113
I like!

You know guys... when I (rarely) write, I get more time into editing that actually writing... so, fuck tryhard editing now.
What i'm doing now is more write and less edition, that comes later when I get someone that wants and can edits the next chapters.
So... expect a tonshit of green tomorrow or tuesday.

I don't even care at this point about feedback, I know you guys are reading anyway.

And another bump.

Traps are disgusting

>>30581144
I think what you need to do is find yourself someone who can look at your writing.

Sometimes you miss important writing mistakes on your own that someone else with a different mind could discover. Words from my Freshman Composition teacher.

>>30583141
Yet the mistakes are tiny sometimes, that you can think "Okay, this doesn't go this way but I get it, bad grammar, no big deal"
I almost stopped writing because of Anons complaining in /Dadcoc/
Still, I leave the pastebin before posting in the discord chat but no reply.

>>30581144
Editing as in grammar/spelling or storyline editing? Either way I also recommend finding a second pair of eyes to assist you or SLOWLY going over each sentence.

I wish zew would come back

>10

Y tho

This is a Bump

>>30583939
I'm not in the Discord yet. Drop a link?

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Bumping with >rapist

>>30588483

>>30587238
https://discord.gg/MXMMpZ
Discord is barely active tho
Just like the thread

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>>30590327
It'll be hopefully less with me there.

Bumpin' in the mornin', bumpin' in the night~

>>30564575
any finished greens in this thread?

Maybe so

>>30594472
Alien biology is no joking matter, folks.

>>30594472
>>30595123
Hope for Nope

>>30595146
Beg your pardon?

>>30595184
http://pastebin.com/u/MLPNope
Hope for Nope
one day the story will finish, one day
also if i am not mistaken this >>30594472
is from his story

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>Anon goes to prison for posting sexual images drawn based on his favorite ponies on 4human.
>Internet Pone Police found he was the culprit.
>He gets sent to jail with the degenerate sex fiends.
>He gets raped by everyone in prison, males and females.
>He gets raped so much he enjoys it.

>>30596011
Rape is non-existant in Equestria, making Anon a pioneer in the field.

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I'm updating tomorrow after work, I could update while at it since I share my pastebin with the PC of where I work, but nah, it can wait.

Work bamp

>>30597891

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>>30564575

So which Writefags are ded and which are among the living?

I hope physicsanon comes back

I hope MLPNope comes back

>>30577113
Haven't had time to read the threads the last two weeks because of life. I'm loving the story and hope other anons can bump and reply where I cannot.

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>>30599459
Literally everyone but 3 or 4
And thread is slow since we rarely post green, we're busy writefags

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Please don't be dead, Physics.

>>30601381

Bump.
Posting in the morning.
Too bad I didn't get proof-read, but whatever

>>30603469
My Discord was acting up, I apologize. I was really going to.

>>30603469
it's morning
:^)

I oversleep 12 hours

Be Anonymous
>You were finally outside the prison of Saddle Arabia. Seems like the guards and terrorists were playing… and by the looks of concern of the crowd, it looks like the guards were losing.
>Hell, they were playing soccer and had shirts and shorts with their respective colors for each team; the guards had blue sky while the terrorists had dark orange.
>Ponies with clothes are always cute, but there is one pony in the terrorist team that wasn’t wearing a shirt or shorts at all.
>It was a… cyborg? No, no way. There isn’t that kind of technology in this world, despite… ponies having things such as vinyl players and other stuff.
>Aaaaaand the guards were losing 6 against’ 0, which was… ouch, so bad.
>You hope this isn’t the only game that the play, you actually want to help and stay on their side for once against those terrorists.
>You really want to help them for good.
>Oh whoa, seems like Shorty was playing too! Damn you need to take a pic of those clothes! And…
>Damnit Anon, concentrate. He may look cute with a ponytail and sweating bullets as he’s playing and trying his best… but there is no time to take pictures of him right now.
>…
>Okay, probably a few shots wouldn’t hurt.
*Snap*
>Yeah… this would look good in a calendar. Heh, maybe you could promote some football games and make every world country compete for the first place.
>As you continue watching the game, they were in the last minute of the match. A terrorist pony with a number 34 on his shirt that was the forward of the terrorist team passed the ball to the tiny- terrorist pony… he jumped and while in mid-air he did a bicycle kick that landed the ball inside the goal.
>That was… pretty badass, you gotta admit. For him to achieve such kick and landing when the goalkeeper is a damn minotaur and the size of half the goal, that’s pretty impressive.
>Or could there be a chance that they can cheat this game?

>>30605219

>As the ref blows the whistle, the crowd from the guards stays in silence, but the terrorist tiny crowd starts to stomp their hooves on the sand as an admiration of the victory.
>You approach the sweaty Shorty that, as exhausted as he was, was still cheering up his team.
>As you approach them, you find the ball that the guards and terrorists used in the game. It didn’t look that much used and, uhm… you feel nostalgic about having a non-living thing that also needs your help to speak.
>Also Red and Blue Candle need something to use to move around, so… maybe you can find a marker later and put some eyes on this soccer ball.
>Yeah… now for a name? Pancho doesn’t go anymore since that was for the box.
>Hmm… maybe since it was a soccer ball, you could call it some Brazilian name? Yup seems logic to you.
>But you don’t know that many Brazilian names… only Ronaldinho, uh…
>…Maybe just Cinho? Eh, most Brazilian names end in inho, so it’ll do fine.
>You pick the soccer ball, your new Pancho 2.0 and with a sly smile you talk to him.
“So, ready for the second part of our adventures, Cinho?”
>You put the soccer ball near your ear so it implies that is whispering to you.
>”VAI TOMA SUA GOSTOSA UHUHEUHAEHUEUHA” You say while trying to imitate the Portuguese language as best as you can.
>…You need to draw some teeth in this soccer ball as soon as you can, you racist son of a bitch.
>Aaand there are some ponies in the crowd looking at you as if you have a mental illness, so you better hurry and catch up with the guards now.
>You start walking slowly and tried to listen to the guards’ conversation in the meantime.
>”Okay… we may… have lost our first game… but! There are still two games that we won’t lose! We just… need to focus! We just… need to… stay together as a team! We just…” Then Shorty fell to the sand with his hooves wide open. “Need… some… water…”
[Exhausted warden noises]

>>30605281

>”Maybe I should have been the cheerleader again… This short is too tight anyway…”
>They were looking so exhausted, the poor things.
>”Brother, I can’t believe I couldn’t protect the goal not even once… those terrorists are tough material.” The green minotaur, Delta Iron said while sitting on the sand. “And did you saw that pony with the number 34? He and the tiny terrorist were unstoppable.”
>”Yeah.” The brother of the green minotaur, a gray minotaur whose name was Omega Iron, nodded to his brother as he stretched his arms. “I think they had mercy on us for a moment… but 7 goals are so… rough on us. Or maybe we are bad at hoofball.”
>Meanwhile, the other terrorists were praising the midget robotic suit pony and the terrorist with the number 34 on his shirt. Your eyes could catch the name of him on the back of his shirt.
>Or well, more like a nickname. You don’t think “Hape” is a pony name. Although he was hugging the terrorist ponies even if they didn’t like it with a cheeky smirk.
“Yo guys.” You wave your hand while you finally get near the group of guards and the exhausted warden lying on the sand. “How’s the fight going?”
>”Nonny- I mean, Anon!” Shorty got up; he had sand on his mane and was a bit disheveled. “We don’t like the term ‘fight’! We prefer contest! Or games! This isn’t a fight!”
>Shorty waved his hooves around you while scrunching his face, he was probably angry at the first defeat of the ‘games’.
>Neh, you know how to calm ponies.
>You just boop his muzzle to stop his complaints. For a reason you have a degree in booping, your teachers were jealous of your skill!
“Oh come on, it isn’t the end of the world if you lost a game… right?”
>Instead of reacting or blushing to the boop, Shorty evaded eye contact with you. Same with the others, it seems something was going on.
>Maybe something was in game? Or was the boop too much? Damn this must be something serious then.

>>30605312

“Okay, everyone seems to act so differently. What happened in the meantime I was getting the camera? Did the worm eat someone? …I was joking on that so you guys better not say yes!”
>Shorty looked at Lima who looked at the sand, then at you with a determinate expression.
>”Lima’s brother… the terrorists have him and if we win, we can have him back... back to us and his sister.” Shorty then looked at the terrorists with a face of anxiety. “But… if we lose, I have to join the terrorists for Celestia knows how long.”
>Oh, so it was tha-
>WAIT WHAT!?
>You take Shorty by both his shoulders, making him eep and enter a state of confusion and blushing as you make him look at you.
“YOU WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY SHORT? You never thought what would happen if you lose? If you leave those that you protect and love the most? Didn’t you think about the consequences?” You say while shaking him every second.
>Then you stop and look at sand of the desert. Aka the floor.
>Then Short placed a hoof over your shoulder.
>”Somepony has to protect the prison, it is my duty as the warden… no matter the price, I need to protect my guards, my prison… everypone who is at risk.” Short Fuse stared at you directly in the eyes without hesitating. “Lima’s brother is in danger and so is the prison… but this warden right here isn’t giving up, I have hope in my guards- no… in MY friends!”
>You take your hands out of Short’s shoulders and sigh heavenly.
>These ponies man. Sometimes you feel like if you’re actually in an open age TV show.
>But you can’t contradict Shorty if you were him you would say the same... or probably would kick someone in the nuts.
>Or maybe crossdress until the end of days.
>Oh shit you’re getting derailed.
“Guess you’re right.”


I'm posting the rest when I'm out of work.

>>30605399
Love it as always
I overslept your oversleeping by 3 hours

>>30605399
Ya did good senpai. Ya did real good

>>30605854
You wouldn't believe how many hours I sleep in my free days.
Also thanks

>>30605962
Ah, thanks, but this isn't nothing compared of what's to come!

Dangerous page 10 bump. Writing now.

>>30577113
>You turn around with the biggest relief sigh you’ve had in your life.
>Lovestruck falls on her butt, in shock.
“Kruhkan, I can’t thank you enough.”
>”This was not simply in good faith, you must uphold your end of the deal.”
>He doesn’t look angry however, which is equally relieving.
“How can I help you out?”
>He responds by turning slightly to reveal the large chains etched with strange patterns fettered to his hind legs.
>”These drain me of my physical strength. If they are removed, I can break through the skylight.”
>You walk over to his legs, to observe the shackles closer.
>Now in front of them, you can see that these are intricately made, and not rusted at all. Nor are the chains.
>The patterns glow in light blue, but there is a hole for a large key in a circular break in the lines.
“Do you have an idea where the key can be found?”
>The great dragon groans, shutting his eyes and considering your words.
>”I fought Celestia many years ago. Bound I woke, leading me to believe she made the shackles. The infernal princess didn’t have the nerve to destroy me.”
>You touch the shackles out of curiosity, and draw your hand back immediately when you feel the surge of exhaustion hit immediately.
>”Human, that is not wise.”
>You laugh tiredly.
“Too late for that. I’m going to… sleep.”
>You barely notice Love running to you before passing out on a nearby pile of gold coins.

>>30608991
>You, Princess of the Moon, left panting alongside your sister, and shaking terribly.
>You and Celestia had prepared a teleportation spell that would immediately send you to Canterlot without over-expense of magic.
>You thought Celestia was being overly cautious, but you were very wrong.
>She suddenly embraces you, and she’s the one crying now.
>”Luna, I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. I didn’t realize how dangerous he was!”
>You gentle stroke her mane with your hoof.
“It’s okay, dear sister. I’m scared too. Let’s go to bed.”
>………
>Time passes. You and your sister have retired to Celestia’s bedchamber. You always feel so comfortable here.
>The fireplace glows, and you are cuddled by the beautiful white alicorn that is both your love and your sibling.
>The quiet ambiance and company has melted away your anxieties temporarily.
>She places a hoof under your muzzle and brings hers to meet it.

>>30608997
>Your tongues have interlocked under the moonlight and the firelight.
>You break the kiss first, looking deeply into her charming, passionate, understanding eyes.
“Cele, you’re so cute.”
>She immediately blushes at your cheeky compliment.
>Celestia often takes the initiative, but you feel oddly compelled to change the pace.
>Rolling yourself on top of her, you greedily kiss your Sun Princess in her weakest moment.
>She moans gently and blushes further, getting heated from your teasing gesture.
>”L-Luna… You’re so bold today...”
“And you’re so submissive.”
>With a smug look into her eyes, you grind your crotch against hers by slightly shifting lower.
>She gasps from the sudden stimulation, finding it hard to maintain her graceful demeanor.
>Continuing your assault, she moans louder and louder. Becoming entranced by the guilty pleasure of this immoral act.
>”Oh, ohhh, ohhhhh!”
>Her utterances become increasingly lewd, and it turns you on further, nearly bringing your winking clit to orgasm.
“Are you going to cum as well, sister?”
>You ask breathily, noticing her reaching the limit.
>”Ohhh, yes, please, let me cum!”
>You find her pleading to your taste, and speed up the grinding with your drenched pussy against hers.
>Your voices echo, and with one last twitch of your clitorises together, and release a much needed orgasm in unison.

>>30609008
>”Dearest Luna, that was amazing.”
>She sighs delighted as you roll off of her.
>You chuckle, as does Celestia.
“It was my pleasure. It’s a nice change of pace from the usual, and now I’m fully relieved.”
>You leave the bed and drape it over her with a flash of your horn.
“It’s time for me to watch the night. See you in the morning.”
>She’s peacefully asleep before she can even reply.
>You smile, and leave the room with the creak of the large doors.
>You notice the Night Guard outside the door when you leave.
>You don’t notice it yourself, but your expression has darkened.
“Has anything happened during my absence?”
>He bows and responds formally.
>”The prison has quieted down. Surprisingly, Anon simply went back inside the prison, and politely apologized to the guards.”
>The news is deeply unsettling to you.
“What? You are 100% sure of this?”
>”Absolutely, your highness. I’m in disbelief as well.”
>You walk down the hall without a word.
>You need to think about this.

I must finish this story before the Autumn, or I'm going to have to put this story on hold until next summer. College won't give me a lot of time.

I make up all this story on the fly. I hope it doesn't trigger you. :^)

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>>30609064
>celestia and luna are lovers
Okay.

My turn
>>30605399


>The spirit of everyone in the team was going up with what Short Fuse said, one by one the guards could feel the motivation they needed.
>”The warden’s right. And this whole prison not only counts on the warden but everypony that is on the team.” Said Lima while opening her batwings. “We can do this! They might have a powerful terrorist that can jump across a field in a blink of an eye and with the dexterity of ten chimeras with the evil grin of a windigo… but we still have the spirit of teamwork AND friendship on our side!”
>The two Minotaur brothers nodded, Delta Iron spoke first.
>”Right, we must show what us minotaurs are good for! KAPLAR!” Delta Iron raised his fist to the air as he shout.
>”FOR SADDLE ARABIA! FOR THE PRISON! FOR MARKWIN! KAPLAR!” Omega Iron shouts to the air, raising his fist into the air to fist bump his brother.
>Every guard and rest of the team was cheering up now, which left the terrorists with expressions of confusion.
>And so, the tiny terrorist wearing that odd suit approached the guards and Short Fuse; his helmet was emitting some red and purple aura as he… whoa, it was true what Lima said, this pony can go from one place to the other in a blink of an eye.
>It didn’t take not even one second for him to stay near every one of the guard's team.
>”Why are you losers cheering on? YOU’RE LOSING BY ONE GAME! YOU SHOULD BE CRYING! BEGGING FOR MERCY! YOU GUYS ARE ALMOST LOSING YOUR WARDEN! CRY! BEG!” The tiny terrorist shouts while waving his hoof angrily at the guards, not noticing you. “There is NO WAY you fools win this! We terrorists are special in the art of cheating and we know you guys are soooo respectful that you losers can’t cheat!”

>>30609260

>You chuckle and look at him with a cheeky grin as you kneel to maintain your stare at him.
“I didn’t know the terrorists had midgets in their team… or maybe you are a lost child?” You get up and approach the tiny pony while petting his… odd helmet. “Does your mother know you’re here, boyo?”
>This, of course, made the tiny terrorist angry; you didn’t even need to see his eyes to know he was angry, his nuzzle said it all.
>He removed your hand from his helmet with his hoof and looked directly at you while yelling.
>”DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY AGE!? I’VE YOU KNOW I’M BIG ENOUGH TO PLAY ADULT GAMES!”
>Hah, you made fun out of the midget.
“Aww… should I call you a taller midget then? Or does that hurt your pony feelings?”
*GRRRRR*
>”OKAY! Okay, okay, okay! Enough of this! I won’t be the laughable stock of some guard… not even a prisoner! We shall start the next game before it gets late!” The tiny terrorist said while turning around and going back to his team.
“What’s that? Your mom will punish you if you play too late?” You shout at him while holding a grin.
>”SHUT UP!”
>Oh you needed this. Nothing like bullying the bullies.
>Not that you’re one, but still… those guys are trying to hurt these ponies that are so kind to everyone. So, as to make things fair for your friends… you’ll join the games.
“Alright!” You put your hands on your waist and stare at Shorty and the rest of the guards. “I’m joining the team now! So you guys better-“
>But you were instantly interrupted by the same mini-terrorist pony that was even angrier at you now.
>”You what!?” He yelled, moments before walking at a… extremely and ridiculous fast walking speed.
>That’s not running you swear.
>Damn, he is fast, the little boy.
>This is going to be so much fun… unless they make the next games some running shit.

>>30609242
B-but muh headcannon!
LE LESBEAS SISTERS REEEEEEE

>>30609353

Be Project Night
>It was your time of glory.
>You were laughing maniacally as you thought the victory was already in the bag.
>You could almost taste the upsies you would get for this victory, even better; you knew The Boss was watching the mighty combat that was happening! You can feel her… her presence is in the crowd of the prisoners!
>All was going dandy until your high definition helmet heard something...
>”Alright! I’m joining the team now.” Said the human that your helmet registered as Anonymous.
>He what!? He can’t do that!
“You what!?” You walked extremely fast near where he was and you stared at him. “That’s cheating! You are NOT a personal of the prison! You are a /prisoner/, not a guard!”
>The human just shrugged as he stepped next to the warden of the prison, winking at you with a cheeky grin.
>”Well you guys are already winning for one game. Or what? The minotaurs are bigger than me and despite that, they were playing and losing.” Anonymous looked at the pair of minotaur guards next to him. “No offense guys, I was making just an example.”
>They just shrug it off as if nothing.
>”How about we make the next fight fair and square? 5 vs. 5, you guys choose the game too so that way there are no hard feelings for me joining all of the sudden.”
>That human thinks he’s the ruler of the rules!? No sir! Emperor Sombra didn’t give you this suit for just play and listen to a dummie! Actually… maybe he gave you the suit for something else and you’re using it wrong…
>But you’re just a brainwashed colt, what else are you supposed to do but play games?
“FINE! I’ll personally defeat you and you will CRY when the warden is with us after we win!”
>Before you continue speaking, you use your helmet to examine the creature that was called Anonymous.
>Time to check his weaknesses.

>>30609531

[[01001000 01101111 01110010 01110011 01100101 00100000 01001111 01101110 01101100 01101001 01101110 01100101]]
[[Analyzing. . . Human . . . Name: Anonymous . . . Vocation: Human . . . Birth place: . . . Unknown . . . Actual residence: Saddle Arabia . . . Talent: . . . No data available . . . Weakness: Friendship . . . Rating: ??/?? Not enough data to rate.]]
>What the hay? Is your helmet malfunctioning? There is no way it could say ‘Unknown data’…
>Let’s check with the warden and see if this is broken…
[[Analyzing. . . Unicorn . . . Name: Short Fuse . . . Vocation: Warden . . . Birthplace: Manehattan . . . Actual residence: Saddle Arabia . . . Talent: Treatment with others creatures+80, speech+70, dressing+200 . . . Weakness: Leadership . . . Favorite food: Cucumbers . . . Rating: 75/100 Special target . . .]]
[[01001000 01101111 01110010 01110011 01100101 00100000 01001111 01100110 01100110 01101100 01101001 01101110 01100101]]
>Uh… the helmet did work with the warden. But what in Tartarus was that about favorite food? And “Special target”? Something is fishy about this warden… or could it be something related to The Boss secret plan….?
>Nah, that’s ridiculous… who would want a weakling like that unicorn anyway? The terrorists probably want him just to get the guards peeved.
>Welp, back at your children induced rage! Thanks, suit that gives you infinite sugar!
“You better prepare for the defeat of your life, Anonymous! You and the rest of the guards along the prison will FALL! I don’t even care if I do it alone, with this suit…” You take a quick spin and show all the sides of your suit. “I can even win by myself! Pretty neat, huh?
>”Eh… too red for my taste.” The human says while looking at the soccer ball that was on his foot. “So we’re playing round two or what? Cinho is getting impatient.”
>HE IS TAUNTING YOU! GAH!

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>>30609638

“So you want to play already… uh? So impatient you want to lose already, uh?” You jump backward and land near the terrorists. “Okay! Then you better prepare for it! For we… are the best at this game!”
>Haha… he thinks he can join like nothing and play the most stealthy game of all! You will show him!
>The human before going to his disgusting team of guards grabbed the ball that your team was winning with and dusted it off.
>Why in Equestria would he make a soccer ball talk? Is it a strategy? …then you need to find an inanimate item and make it talk too!
>BUT THERE IS NO TIME! You need to get prepared for the next game… for your next victory!

Be Short Fuse
>Be thinking.
>Your team did lose a bit harsh the previous game… Light Cloud wasn’t defending very well and was letting every terrorist come her way… maybe she was feeling bad? Her face looked really blank.
>Oh well, good to know she isn’t playing the next game since it’s only 5 vs. 5.
>The sun was on the highest point of the day; Celestia was judging us in this game. Or probably torturing us since the sun is too hot! You’re sweating so badly, you’ll need some makeup after you take a bath in the spa… after the victory of course.
>Hopefully your team gets out of this one, we have Anon so we could win… but can Anon step up in the next game? You’ve never seen him play before, and… terrorist games are so tricky to keep up with.
>As a matter of fact, only foals are good at the next game that they already proposed…
>No, he can do it! You believe in him! In all your team!
>Besides, you don’t want to join the terrorist and use… whatever black and ugly clothes Musul Mare uses… they’re just… ugh! Out of fashion! It doesn’t combine with your eyes and it probably makes you look fat.
>Speaking of her… where is she?


And that should be for this night.

>>30609707
Short fuse is a smol cute pone

Bump before work

>>30611702
Goddamnit guys

I want to cum inside Cookies.

>>30564575
>Seriously, it didn't even break 50 replies.
A clear sign that the thread needs to go to bed for a while, so it doesn't turn into yet another zombie bump general.

>>30614508
Aye aye

>>30614508
The reason it didn't break 50 replies was the header image and op text fuck up and most of the replies were complaints about that. The only thing that indicates is that we shouldn't let the thread randomly die only to get revived by people who don't know how to make new threads.

Which is the worst prison race: Griffins, Zebras, or Minotaurs?

>>30616722
zebras for sure, always stealing, getting into way more fights than any other race, and their culture literally has no concept of fairness, kindness, empathy or generosity

>>30611702
Bump.

>>30616722
Zebras. They commit over 50% of rhymes while only being 14% of Equestria's population. Show you how terrible people they are.

I forgot to make the new chapter pastebin, so here it is
https://pastebin.com/RLddNLYj
Also I'll be busy for this weekend so no update until tuesday.
Not gonna lie, I'm playing Tibia. Double exp is my jam.

Are there canonically apes in Equestria?

>>30621259
Celestia owns monkeys.

>>30564575
Ponice rough you up when they arrest you, because President Trump said it was okay for them to do that.

>>30621328
It's a good thing I'm not a nigger then.

Make Equestria Great Again.

Test post.

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>>30623018
You got a F.

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>>30623841
You too can have a (You)

>>30624835
A (you) for you

>>30624837
C- 4(U)

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Another page 10 bump.

Physics is dead.

>>30628592

>>30629734

that was a close one

Page 9 is not fine

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>>30609707

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>>30634966
Give me two days since my boss decided I should work tomorrow at noon and then morning.
There isn't enough coffee in my coffee cup.

>>30631128

>>30637142

>>30564575
>9

>>30564575
So, who's still alive? You got 800 pastebins but that doesn't mean anything if 799 of them's last update was in 2014.

>>30639432
Wand, Stroganoff, Physics will be back. Got a few I think.

>>30640270
What buys somepony an extra pudding in prison?

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>>30640270
I've been really busy trying to get my college paperwork in order. I'll try to write on Friday, since it'll all be figured out by then.

Sorry guys. Any suggestions you have for me to keep the thread going?

>>30643015
Muh dick
I want to fuck blindfolded Sunset.

What about spicying up this bitch, instead of anon in prision #6 lets make Mafia Anon giving orders to the mob from jail.
Police Anon
Community service Anon
Drop the soap Anon
Parole officer Anon
Yakuza Anon
Hol up Anon
Illegal inmigrant Anon
Street Gang muhfuga Anon

>>30643406
Maybe broaden the scope instead?
Something something "Law, Order and Anon".
>Parole officer Anon
Could be fun.

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>>30643406
>>30643497
I like this idea. I don't think all the stories are explicitly about Anon being put into prison. Broadening the scope could introduce new writefags. It's hard to come up with completely original ways to carry out the idea of Anon ending up in prison one way or another.

If we get enough support for the idea, we can begin anew as "Law and Anon". Which can include detective stories, crime boss Anon, or even Anon vigilante justice.

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>>30640270
Yeah I'll write tomorrow after work.
I told you guys I was working today at noon and tomorrow at morning, so let me leave work, have a few shots of vodka and write.

>>30643621
I'm going to wait.

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>>30643555
>Anon vigilante justice

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>>30643406
>Police Anon
Yup, I made that but isn't full one shot that I implied I would continue after prison pone.
https://pastebin.com/juYvFeES

>>30643497
>>30643555
I do like these ideas. Any situation where Anon finds himself brushing up against the law. Could even make cowboy Anon out in AppleOOOOOO-sa, but his penchant for cowboys leaves him confused as to how he's supposed to ride off into the sunset without a properly-sized horse.

Bump from work

>Anon didn't commit a horrible (by pony standards) crime to get into horseprison
>He didn't swear
>Didn't raise his voice
>Didn't hit a pony (that monster)
>Didn't even give a nice mare a belly rub without her consent.
>Turns out there are herding laws due to the low male:female ratio to ensure a high birth rate
>Anon argued that he is a different species that developed independently from every other species on the planet and that it was a miracle that he could even breathe the same air that ponies did or that he didn't die of awful horsediseases which he has no immunity to, and that he has no chance of getting any of them pregnant
>Ponies argued wizards and magic
>Anon gave in when he saw a few mares tearing up and quietly asking him why he doesn't want them.
>Everything was fine until his herd brought up "consummating their horsemarriage"; Anon nodded and got to work
>Anon fucked up
>Maybe it's because of how innocent ponies are
>Maybe it's because they're alien creatures with different biology (despite their almost-identical-to-Earth-creatures appearances)
>Maybe they got cold hooves at the last minute
>As soon as his fingers brushed his mare's vagoos, there were shrieks and shouts of "bad touch! Bad touch!"
>Adults were needed and brought in...
>...wearing police uniforms
>Anon was arrested and (carefully) led into the biggest, most comfortable holding cell he'd ever seen
>The guard there asked him if he wanted any snacks and made sure he had a glass of water before he fell asleep in case he got thirsty in the middle of the night

>>30645368
>The next day, he went to court and was charged with 10 counts of "stranger danger" and sentenced to 3 months hard time
>By "hard time", they mean "a building with cushioned walls and rounded corners where you make friends and also take seminars on how not to no-no touch a mare"
>His mares (even the one who charged him, bizarrely) visit him every week
>One of them gives him a cake as a present; acts all shifty about it
>Anon digs in, expecting a file
>It's another smaller cake
>The smaller cake gets confiscated as contraband and his incoming packages start getting screened in case his mares try to break him out again
>Anon gets a gentle scolding for his "escape attempt" and then a hug in case the scolding made him feel bad


ugh I want to write but everything's been done. I don't want to write about horrifying prison life in horseland, but soft and kind prison life has been done to death. Does this thread have a collection of prompts/suggestions or something?

>>30645378
Why not have Anon be the guard instead of the prisoner?
Anon is a real hard prisoner, but the ponies don't think of him as such. All his bluster and violent habits are ineffective. Instead of the ponies being soft, it's Anon who is soft, but played for laughs instead of grimdark.

Or take the >>30643497 suggestion and have Anon go to trial. Or have Anon be a lawyer. Or just have him be a police officer. Something to do with prison, but not the prisoner. I am merely spitballing here.

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When this thread archives, I'll start up the thread as "Law and Anon".

If there are any objections, give me (You)'s.

Oh hey, you're back from the dead. Been like a year, hasnt it?

Any old grens continued?

>>30646291
Umm... No? This threads been alive for a few months now, at least.

>>30646326
Didn't notice it till now. The original prison general was like a few years ago

>>30646260
>When this thread archives
There's like, 350 posts left. Bit early to be worrying about that.

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>>30647500

>>30645478
>Why not have Anon be the guard instead of the prisoner?
Ooh, or maybe a reverse of Anon and Cookies'n Cream's relationship.

>You are Hard Time, a big tough mare who's always in and out of prison
>Scraped knees
>Stolen cakes (40 of'em; that's what got you locked up this time)
>Shouting vulgarities such as...
>...
>Heck
>You've done it all, and everypony in this here clink knows it.
>Ain't NOPONY messes with you!
>Why, the last time a little mare cut in line on dessert day, she was crying over her boo-boo for at LEAST an hour.
>You got a whole week added onto your sentence from that, but that's okay.
>These cribs can't hold you for long, see?
>This mare's got places to go and ponies to see!
>Ain't nothin' holding you down in this rinky-dink correctional penitentiary!
>KNOCK KNOCK
>A big, tall... rather handsome ape creature unlocks your cell door and steps inside.
>He's got a dog-eared book with a cracked spine in one hand, and a pudding cup in the other.
>"Miss Time? It's 9:00pm, and it's time for your bedtime story."
>Guard Anonymous smiles he most genuine smile that's ever been directed at you, and you can't help but feel your cold, crime-hardened heart warm up just a little bit.
>...maybe things ain't so bad here.

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>>30648766
>Ooh, or maybe a reverse of Anon and Cookies'n Cream's relationship.

So, Cookies n' Cream being the prisoner who did the bad stuff and Anon being the guard that stops her from being a bad pony?
I like your idea.

>>30648766
I'd be surprised if no one's actually started a Anon: Prison Guard story.

Has it been done, Wand?

>>30650872
I quite remember one being done but there was never a pastebin.
Some brave Anon did write a story of Anon as a guard, but it got lost, probably.

>>30649410
>>30650872
>You will never single handedly be responsible for the high rehabilitation rate at your prison
>You will never secretly cuddle the prisoners and promise them that they can visit for more hugs if they're good

>>30652061
>"How many puddings for an extra hug from Anon?"
>Cookies starts counting the number she already has and smirks.
>"Two per hug."
>"That's way too many!"
>"Do you want a hug or not?"
>The pony grumbles and starts to hoof over the pudding, but you step out into the playground with a frown.
"Cookies, what did I tell you about exploiting me for personal gain?"
>"But you're MY guard!"
"I'm everypony's guard. I was just told to watch you carefully. Probably for reasons like this."

>>30654231
This could lead to some over cuteness greentext.
I could do some quick ideas as I'm working
WITH EXTRA BAD GRAMMAR

>>30654943
>WITH EXTRA BAD GRAMMAR
Oh, man, that's my favorite type of greentext. Just drizzle that raw unfiltered, unedited greentext all over me.

>>30654231
"Pffff!"
>You wave a dismissive hoof at your favourite guard, not believing a word he said.
"But I'm your favourite prisoner."
>Anon doesn't say anything, but you see the corners of his mouth twitch.
>"I have no idea what you're talking about."
>Oh, no.
>You feel your ears fold back against your skull as worry floods your system.
>Were you wrong?
>Does Anonymous see you as just another prisoner?
>What about those cuddles you shared?!
>What about that time he comforted you when you had a bad dream and rubbed your belly until you fell asleep?!
>What abo-
>"On a completely unrelated note," says the monkey-guard, interrupting your scary thoughts, "I have an extra pudding cup right here in my hand with a certain somepony's name on it."
>You can't help but gasp happily, your thought process abandoned and forgotten about.
"Extra pudding?!"
>That's the BEST KIND OF PUDDING!
>Anon winks at you and hands you the pudding cup (pre-opened) and and the plastic spoon.
>You stab the spoon into the delicious chocolatey treat and feel Anon ruffle up your mane.
>"Keep being a good pony for me, Hard Time."

Belly rubs: How many days will Anon get put behind bars for non-consensual belly rubbing?

>>30656058
Depends what pony Anon non-consensually belly rubs.

>>30655479
>Hard Time acts nice around Anon, but is mean to ponies when Anon isn't there.
>Anon eventually finds out.
>Hugs withheld for a full DAY!
>And he only ruffled your mane ONCE!
>It was awful.

>>30652840

>p9
You're all under arrest for letting the thread drift this far! Your sentence is 45 minutes community service (belly rubs, mane petting, and hugging) that will be carried out under the supervision of Officer Cream.

>>30658922
Can I carry it out /on/ officer Cream?

>>30659223
Only if you're gentle.

>>30658922
If we all are under arrest each time this thread gets page 9-10, gee, the prison would be full of Anons.
Anons that would please Cookies n' cream

Aaaand again

>>30662567
I got it this time.

Woe is we

>>30663621

>>30665028